Myself and my two children are also victims of domestic violence. I left to save my children from watching me be abused and also because the abuse was starting to go towards my children. When I called 911 for help the police officers treated me as though I was the one with the problem when it was so clear that the anger was from him. My neighbor and myself wrote to headquarters to report the police behavior this day, this sparked a new training program for the officers in our local precinct.
@MsAriemae : That is absolutely wonderful news!!! God Bless you, you have just made my day! Thank you for taking a stand and speaking out, I know it is not an easy road but, the strength you gain is forever!
God Bless you hon!! You have such inner strength and courage!! I am so proud of you!! You have all of my love, understanding and all of God's blessings!
Hardest part is leaving. When I tell my storry it sounds so crazy people think I made it up. They say why didnt I leave sooner as if I had a problom. I resort to saying it was threats of " I will kill you if you try to leave" and now I know its called stockholm syndrome . He was so crazy I felt sorry for him because without my money he would be under a bridge. The kids I had with him he make me abort.. This was 20 years, but your storry makes me wonder all the what ifs.
@porphyria2@porphyria2 I understand and hear you. In my case, it was not the same, I did not feel sorry for my abuser, I was terrified of him, I gave him control over me and my children and the moment I took it away, he went after my kids, he did soo much more to me than I put in the video but, did not think it appropropriate to put it in there. God Bless you and your tremendous courage and inner strength and thank you so much for posting your story, I love to hear my survivor sisters!
@nanditeplus -I made it with the intention of showing people just how bad things can escalate if left to do so. I pray and hope it can save just one life then my son, myself and my best friend all almost dying will have not been in vain! God Bless you hon!
I am not ashamed to admit that as a guy I actually cried after watching this video. I'm very sorry for everything you and your children and your friend had to endure. I wish I could say I'm happy that this is a happy ending (which, to an extent, it is because every victim and target survived) but unfortunately I cannot say that after hearing that Tristan suffered severe brain damage and your friend Scot cannot walk again and also suffered severe brain damage. God bless you and who have suffered.
@YAOMINGOWNS -Thank you so much for your post, and real men are not afraid to admit to crying, and you sound like a real man and a good one at that! I wish you only the best in life! God bless you hon!
I have currently fled from a violent relationship with my boyfriend who in his lastest attack on me threw a bed a heavy dresser on top of me while I am 3 months pregnant in front of my 5 year old. Watching this video just gave me the greatest wake up call of how me and my kids will probably end up if I go back again. It hurt me so much and I cried so hard watching this. Thank you for giving me the biggest wake up call and strength I needed to have the courage to get away and stay away forever
@melljay123 - I am crying as i read your post hon! No one deserves to be abused ever!!! I am so glad my video helped you to get out of a dangerous relationship, you deserve so much more in life as do your children! You have the strength and courage to leave, that is absolutely admirable and I am blessed to know my video helped you, that was the intent for making it. you have made my day! God bless you always!
what a coward he was.i left my ex 3 yrs ago and have a lifetime injunction on him.however i have had to face him n court many times through these years.he still has the 38 smith and wesson with a laser registered to me.the court demanded he turn it over however it never was.my divorce was finally over in dec 2010.i know he still lurks.i live with my parents and i fear for all of our lives all the time.i have no kids with him however he has my stepdaughter who i raised dcf does nothing.
Bless you all, ... I survived 22 years of beatings, rapes, humiliation, by my parter since 17 yrs old.. some of the abuse was in front of our kids. Im touring the US bonding with people like yourselves, in summer 2012. Its SO important to come forth and share our stories, to show others who feel isolated, that they are not, and WE ARE HERE TO HELP! Suzanne Perry, OP Music House dot org. Im so heart heavy for you and your children, I wish you strength, positive energy, healing endurance & love
@enoughofit7 - I completely agree with you, If we all take a stand, tell our stories and help others in situations we were once in, we can save one life at a time and what you are doing is truly god's work! I am proud to call all of you on here my survivor sisters, I consider all of my survivor sisters my family and it is a family like no other! I thank god each and every day for everyone he has brought into my life and the stories they tell. I have written my own story in a book. God bless you!
FOR ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO TALK MORE TO ME OR JUST HAVE ANOTHER SURVIVOR SISTER AS A FRIEND, YOU CAN ALSO FIND ME ON FACEBOOK UNDER THE NAME "HOLLY NEWHOUSE (KIRSCH, GUIDRY, HAND) FROM IOWA. ALL OF MY SURVIVOR SISTERS ARE MY SPECIAL FAMILY, A GIFT FROM GOD!
Bless you all, ... I survived 22 years of beatings, rapes, humiliation, by my parter since 17 yrs old.. some of the abuse was in front of our kids. Im touring the US bonding with people like yourselves, in summer 2012. Its SO important to come forth and share our stories, to show others who feel isolated, that they are not, and WE ARE HERE TO HELP! Suzanne Perry, OP Music House dot org. Im so heart heavy for you and your children, I wish you strength, positive energy, healing endurance & love.
Bless you all, ... I survived 22 years of beatings, rapes, humiliation, by my parter since 17 yrs old.. some of the abuse was in front of our kids. Im touring the US bonding with people like yourselves, in summer 2012. Its so important to come forth and share our stories, to show others who feel isolated, that they are not, and WE ARE HERE TO HELP! Suzanne PErry, OP Music House dot org. Power, strength and love to you!
this is sad it made me cry so sorry that you and your kids have to go this i am happy that you and your kids are still alive thank god.i am happy that he is prison.
STOP VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN. I share my own experience to help even ONE other person to break the cycle of abuse and end the nightmare. Please be that person! Love, Sarah Go to Amazon for my book HONEYMOON AND HELL: A Memoir of Abuse by Sarah Braun. BREAK THE CYCLE AND END THE NIGHTMARE.
Im proud of your courage and the amazing courage of your children . I also came out of an abusive relation ship was beatened and stabbed by my ex my oldest son saw it all . My children have been my insperation and courage to overcome obsticals I never thought I could ever accomplish and now im in college studing for counselor for domestic violence . Not only are you an amazing person but your story also saved a life in my eyes that makes you a guardian angel . God bless you and your kids .
BREAK THE CYCLE AND END THE NIGHTMARE. Why do women stay and call it love? I want to share my own experience to help even ONE other person to break the cycle of abuse and end the nightmare. Please be that person! Love, Sarah
Go to Amazon.com for my book HONEYMOON AND HELL: A Memoir of Abuse ($5.99)
I am a man and have been physically abused in the last ten year by three different GF's. I got away from them all. It is truely unfortunate to see domestic violence towards anyone. It is my observation in Canada anyways, the likely hood of a man abusing in getting less and less (oh, it isn't gone altogether, regretfully) and the abuse of women towrads a man is increasing. The campaign for domestic abuse has been so onesided that women are taught they can't be abusers only victims.
you truly are an amazing person to go through what you have and still be so positive after watching this video i now feel i have the courage to do something about my situation wishing you and your family all the best take care and god bless
I am so proud of you. You have taken your pain and turned it into a positive for the sake of saving lives. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful children and I am glad to see that you have all made it through this whole ordeal with your lives. My mother and I are both survivors of domestic violence and we both cried while we watched your video.
Since I took control of my life and escaped my abuser, I have done everything I can think of to reach out to others and to raise awareness
I am so proud of you. You have taken your pain and turned it into a positive for the sake of saving lives. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful children and I am glad to see that you have all made it through this whole ordeal with your lives. My mother and I are both survivors of domestic violence and we both cried while we watched your video.
Since I took control of my life and escaped my abuser, I have done everything I can think of to reach out to others and to raise awareness
What a touching video. Thank you for sharing. Hugs to you and your family, and what you have been through. Keep up the fight against DV- we are here fighting with you!
I am 18 and I have lived through domestic violence, I am now in college and in the process of become a lawyer. My dream is to be a politician. I have started awareness towards Domestic violence. I believe anyone registered with a restraining order should not be able to carry a fire arm or any weaponry. There is no way to completely stop Domestic Violence, but if we all come together to advocate it, maybe we can save a life. You have inspired me to help make the bill a reality in Florida.
My friend was recently assaulted twice in the same day. we are lucky to have her with us. he broke her nose, fractured her tailbone, broke the bones in her hand and her fingers, gave her a severe concussion when he knocked her to the ground and then tried to run over her. her face is so bruised we hardly recognize her. he pled not guilty. he is a boxer and boxing coach. he said she did this to herself or she paid someone to beat her to ruin his career. he is out on bail. she is a wonderful lady
@txbluebonnet I had a 9 year relationship with a very sadustic abusive man. I am free now but I would LOVE to be able to let others know "why we don't leave." If I can help others by being on your radio program, just let me know.
The HER CENTRE is a charitable organisation working for life betterment of local women affected by domestic violence who reside in the London Borough of Greenwich. For more info contact us at Forum at Greenwich, Trafalgar Road, Greenwich, SE10 9EQ, Tel 0208 858 0748
May God bless you and your children and always keep you safe and loved. I don't know where to start..I am victim also..and have escaped with my life..but he is free and he has threatened that he will kill me and my children. I live daily with a knowing feeling that one day he will catch up with me..he has told me he will and i know he is capable of doing it. I'm afraid but trying to continue my life as normal as i can. Love you and send blessings to you and your children :)
Alex, my heart goes out to you, believe me, and you are right the most dangerous time is not in the relationship, it is leaving the relationship. I am severely worried for you, have you talked to anyone like an advocate at a woman's shelter or sought to get a restraining order. You can also prove the stalking by getting a cheap camera and post it on the front or back of your house, a black and white one that records wirelessly to your vcr is best, it is what i purchased and record it, it proof
Also, you need to try to get neighbors involved, mine did, after they saw pics and heard of the damage happening next door, they would constantly call the cops if they saw my ex, also invest in a smaller digital recorder and get a answering machine with a tape recorder, do anything you can to build up proof he is stalking you. also go to national crime victim hotline, they can really help too with many more resources than i can name here.
@survivordv thank you so much! you give me hope i might make it out alive. i have an order of protection against anthony, but it means nothing to him. he broke in my condo & slept in my bed when i was out of town. he calls 75 times a day but only from pay phones. he rings my doorbell & yells but leaves before police arrive. i'm too scared to take a photo of him. he has 2 open cases for violating my O.P, but him having warrants doesn't do me good when he's out running free w/ murder on his mind.
@survivordv IM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU.I KNOW YOUR PAINE AND WHAT YOU WILL ENDURE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF THIS.BE THANKFUL EVERY DAY THAT YOUR LITTLE BOY SURVIVED CHERISH EACH AND EVERY MOMENT WITH THIS LITTLE MARI CAL OF YOURS.I WISH EVERY DAY I HAD MY SON TO KISS AND HOLD AND LOVE.SADLY HIS FATHER TOOK HIM FROM ME BEFORE HE WAS BORN LEAVING HIS TWIN SISTER MENTALLY RETARDED FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE WHO SEEMS TO BE MISSING HER BROTHER AS WELL.GOD BLESS YOU AND ALL IN THE VIDEO
@ImTheBabyDoll - I do cherish everymoment with my children, god gave a second chance in life and we have spent it helping others out of the same situation we were in and speak to inmates across our state in Iowa , even my son talks to them and there is never a dry eye in the house- he is my miracle and my angel here on earth. I am so sorry for what happened to your son and daughter, they are in my prayers now and always! God bless you hon! I am here if you ever need someone to talk to
YOU ARE SUCH A STRONG WOMAN! i'm so sorry for the hell you've endured. it's awful how prevalent domestic violence is. what makes it worse is statistics show the most dangerous time for an abused woman is AFTER she leaves. this is the case for you & me. after years of black eyes, knife to the throat, broken ribs, & cigarette burns, i left. he spent a year in prison for aggravated dv. now he is out & stalking me. i can't leave my house b/c i know he's going to make good on his promise to murder me
You have such a touching story! The lord has his eyes on you and your family. My parents do this and i know how it is on the children i will have you and your family in my prayers! God bless you!
I had the police come in today. I am now starting a domestic violence blog. I get emotional abuse but have had physical from time to time. I can't leave for various reasons but live separately in the house.
@charreva : Honey, please stay safe, I understand those reasons for not leaving I had them myself but, will pray to god that you never have to go through what my children and I still live with! Please stay safe, I am here for you anytime!!
@survivordv - cheers, I am just creeping round the house each day, when he comes in, he is always miserable and I can feel the atmosphere. Oh well.. it could be worse.
We stay cause it's not not safe to leave or we get told/ or believe it's going to get better and/ or financially we're stuck in the situation.
for me the police wanted me to leave my home 9even though the home was in my name/ and my aunt's...) and wanted my children to stay in the home with him!! I went ballistic!! He wanted the same living arrangements..
one day I taken the hydro bill money and I taken my children I drove and drove then sold my van ASAP
@survivordv YOU CAN leave there are NO reasons to stay. But i know what you mean as I've been there myself and tried to justify staying for various reasons.
Leaving will free you in more ways then you will ever know. It's YOUR life and you can start living it!! Call around your community for resources. There Are people who can and want to help you. my prayers and my heart are with you.
@emilystrong461 - Thank you for your post but, I was long gone when I posted this video, actually we had already left him for almost a year when the shooting occurred, a year in which he told the court at his trial in 2006 that he spent all of that time stalking us and premeditating our murders because then, with us dead life would be so much easier for him!
@emilystrong461 - Thank you for your post but, I was long gone when I posted this video, actually we had already left him for almost a year when the shooting occurred, a year in which he told the court at his trial in 2006 that he spent all of that time stalking us and premeditating our murders because then, with us dead life would be so much easier for him!
Thank you for finding the courage to share your story @survivordv. For those experiencing domestic violence in Santa Clara County, CA, please call the Support Network, 1-800-572-2782, we are here to help.
Thank you for finding the courage to share your story @survivordv. For those experiencing domestic violence in Santa Clara County, CA, please call the Support Network, 1-800-572-2782, we are here to help.
Thank you for finding the courage to share your story @survivordv. For those experiencing domestic violence in Santa Clara County, CA, please call the Support Network, 1-800-572-2782, we are here to help.
You are so welcome honey. I am so glad you are safe now, you are a brave, courageous woman and you have all of my love and support for as long as you need it.
i am a mother who suffered many years with the bad behaviour of my son.he is very abusive towards me he shout at me scream at me and also does call me names like you are bitch etc...
i am divorced from his father for a similair problem which i faced for 11 years.
today i did to call the police to throw him out because i had enough god forgive me and pleae tel me if i was right or wrong. my son is 25 years old doesn t work doesn t study jusy sending his time with his pc.
You did right honey. No one has the right to be abusive toward you. Your son obviously needs some counseling and some help. He does not have the right to hurt, intimiate or downgrade you!!
Send you my personal email to your account on here!
that's quite normal behavior for our children to do this, I too am a 6 year survivor and went through the same as you :survivordv
my youngest child seen everything... I didn't know..
just keep keep telling your child each time they do this..look at them in their face tell them "I love you, and that you need a hug, if you can have a hug from them.. our children too are going through the same thing on a different level.
@survivordv HI the video was very touching.I m survivor of domestic violence myself both physical and emotional.3 YEars went by since the end of that abusive relationship and i still carry a lot of emotional pain.
I hope your family is doing well now. What you went through is horrible and no person should have to deal with that. What he did was wrong and he is the only person to blame for this. I hope you do not take to heart some of the horrible comments on here suggesting otherwise.
This is a wonderful video and hopefully helps educate some people out there about domestic violence. Thank you so much for your bravery in posting this.
All the blessings to you and your family. I cried seeing this video, what a pain you endured because of one cruel person. All the strength and happiness to you.
You are an amazing woman! Thank you for posting this. So many people out there only want to judge survivors of DV for their choices. You are so strong and even though I do not know you, you make me so proud to be an advocate. You remind me why we are fighting this fight, even when the odds seem stacked against us. God bless you and your family and fellow survivors.
Update: my children and i have since moved on with our lives since this incident and while we will never forget it , it no longer rules our lives, my daughter has severe psychological damage, my son is deaf blind and only has half of his brain but, we are strong and have moved on, i have since went back to college and am working on my doctorate degree in psychology and in victim traumatology to help others who are in the situation i once was and to work with crime victims and survivors. god bles
Thank you very much for being so brave and posting your story online. I know it takes a lot of courage. I posted my story in the video response section. I hope things continue to move forward and that is AWESOME he's in prison....Unfortunately I'm still in the court process after mine, and it's been nearly 2 years. You are amazing! Thank you so much for sharing.
God Bless you and your beautiful family. You are so very courageous and my new found hero. I wish you and your family all the love and happiness you deserve. Thank you for sharing your heart wrenching story. I commend you on your strength.
I hope you all become stronger people after this horrific event and tragedy. thnak you for telling your heart wrenching story. It takes allot of courage to speak up and out about DV. God bless you and your family.
What a painful but honest video. The images of the van and the devastating injuries to your family and friends are so horrible, but an important testimony to why we must STOP domestic violence. There is a special kind of evil in a man who could perpetrate such horrors on those he supposedly loves.
I wish you peace, freedom and health. What you have survived no one should be asked to endure.
I was in almost the same situation you were.I just wanted to say that you should be proud of the strength that you have.Your children are all beautiful and have gotten their strength from their mother.I hope things work out for all of you,it took me almost ten years to decide what I needed to do.I'm getting everything together to go back to school and become a social worker that specializes in domestic violence. My prayers are with all of you.
Tristan has a hearing aid for his one good ear but, he is losing his hearing completely. he mainly uses body sign language that we developed ourselves, him and I.
Iam so sorry. This truly touched me, especailly when i saw Tristan. Im glad you got out & he is in jail. My ex boyfriend who abused me is in jail for attempted murder also. I hope he will stay there for a while, but if he gets out im not scared. I gave the situation to God. God bless you!
I do hope his years in prison teach him many things including how to beg for his life and understand the helplessness of DA BOYS attacking him. You should visit the prick inside and laugh at him. Good on ya for posting his photo.
OMY this is awesome. I'm glad to see the abuser's face posted on the internet. I think all abuser's photos should be on the internet. It would help us to protect ourselves.
I"m so sorry for all the troubles you and your family have had to endure. You diserve the best. I wish and hope and pray the best for you and your family. I hope all of your children and you are doing well. thank you for sharing such a passionate hard story. I really apreciated it.
I am so very sorry this happened to you and your family :( I don't know how somebody could do that to a person...especially kids. That breaks my heart for you.
I wanted to say I'm sooo sorry you went through this, and now you are every victims Advocate! I am a survivor and was pregnant when I left. Bless you and yours. I hope all are well.
I started crying, but my husband keeps asking me questions form downstairs. I'm kind of glad cause I think that I would have lost it. Thank you so much for putting this up for everyone to see. Very touching and I'm glad everyone made it. I have worked with people who have brain damage and I understand how challenging that is. I think you are pretty awesome to be able to put a positive light. I know that is as beautiful and that your family and have a remarkable light now.
WOW . i cried when i saw this . i could not even imagine going through all that . you were put through all this and still had the strength to make this video to warn others . god bless you and your wonderful family . i don't know how a man can be so heartless , but i hope that if this ever happens to me , that i will have the courage to help others like you did .
Very sad but quite honestly if a man is going to be so mad as to want to hurt his family he would have done the damage another way. So glad you all came out of this well, look at my videos different angle but still domestic violence. x
WoW! This video speaks volumes. As a domestic abuse survivor myself I often think about how bad it really could have been. It was bad enough as it was and when I finally got out I had to move over 1,700 miles away and basically fall off the face of the Earth in order for him not to find me. I hope that your story will help other domestic violence victims see that they are not alone and that they can get out.
Wow.You and your family are such an inspiration to all survivors of domestic violence. I too am a survivor of domestic violence. Thank you for sharing your story.
WOW! I admire your strength! I myself escaped a domesticly violent situation and am now working, after recieving my Bachelor's of Social Work degree, as a sexual assault and domestic violence advocate! TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE... if these things are happening to you... TALK TO SOMEONE! It may seem SO hard to get out, but you can and you will!!! God Bless!
God Bless you and your beautiful family. I too am a survivor but went through nothing like you did. I never had children with this man and thank God for that every day. Keep strong and know you have an angel watching out for you everyday. Keep strong and be happy
OMG i dnnt know how u coped with this at all i went through 2 years of which i though was bad but it wasnt like wat u went through ive ot court in about 2 weeks for my domestic violence and my ex excuse is " i only hit her cuz she wudnt listen " kinds seems trivial compared 2 wat u went through U TRULY ARE AN ANAMAZING PERSON i struggle to cope so i cnt imaged how you did its so hard xXx
It's too multidimensional - there's no single factor, like "the birth of a child and not being in the center of attention". All men and women are PEOPLE - very complicated and unpredictable, for the most part. There's no "unified theory" - don't wast your time, just follow your instincts in YOUR relationship. Don't YOU be a fool.
you and scot are two strong people I hope you to have each other.your children are beautiful and god put them here for a reason and will not let them go until he is ready.I hate to say this but i hope you ex is tourmented every day that he still has breath in his body.nobody deserves the damage that has been done to you and you family i will keep your family in my prayers
"at what point do you KNOW ahead of time that you will eventually be pushed?"
It never comes out of the blue. When you are married to someone, you should feel that person ahead of time. Ideally -- before you even have children with that person.
I am not that naïve -- when things were heading south for divorce, I was accused of misdemeanor
domestic violence by my now ex in the US myself. Frankly, I just pushed a drunk out of the door and locked her out, because I didn't want my than 1 and ½ year old to go to the swimming pool with a drunk woman.
My point was -- because I had been accused of something, real serious cases (like this one) could have slipped through the system, because it all bunched up into "domestic violence".
There's no DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. It's only in American naïve minds. There's a violent CRIME. It has nothing to do with conjugal relationship.
omg! thank god you're alive! thank god your kids are safe! how could he ever plead 'not guilty'? you're a survivor and a role model for women everywhere, thank you so much for sharing this painful story! maybe by sharing it you'll help someone else get out before this happens to them!
im so sorry for u n ur children u r very brave,my heart goes out 2 u & ur family.. ur video had me in tears. men that disrespect women like that dont deserve a life at all! i hope ur doing well know and life is so much better for u.. thanks 4 sharing. u have a beautiful family.. god bless x
you, your children and your friend are very brave people. your children are absolutely gorgeous and you should be so proud of them. i have 3 children, they are 5, 3 and 8 months, i am in an abusive relationship and your vid has given me the inspiration to now leave, so thank-you xxx
I am so sorry for all you and your babies have been through. I write to you through tears for you and for myself. I have to leave my situation or I fear my child and I too will suffer a tragedy like yours. I am so sorry for your pain...stay strong.
you are obviously an abuser yourself or you would understand the need for this! call me what you want sir, i have been called worse by much better, if your trying to scare me, keep trying buddy, i am not afraid of any man anymore!!!
I had my times of domestic violence by my fother and do not have a problem to tell about that, but keep whining about, making videos with lame music and exposing my personal life really is not the answer. I agree with the dude. You define your life by the abuse you suffered. If you were a dog they would propably put you to sleep.
get a life your just jelous cause she isnt afraid to keep it a secret ... !! Atleast she sought help and is trying to encourage people into seeking help why you sit on peoples youtube videos moaning bout telling there story when clearly you are telling yours !! Thanks you for a brill vid !!!
Agreed. If you can delude yourself into thinking you have done something about the problem go ahead. Before I go any further, I am terribly sorry for what happened to you and I am happy he was sentenced.
Take a look at the guy you married. Have you ever seen an episode of cops ? All abusers look like this guy ( ok I am kidding ) Look at her guys, tell me you take a swing at her after a couple of drinks ( again I am kidding )
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
Consider YOUR blame in this. He continued to abuse you..YOU decided to have his children. He didn't want them ...YOU had them anyway. Never mind the fact you had the children of a worthless piece of humanity ,,,,kids he DIDN'T want. Can you honestly say you hadn't considered this might of happened ? Your child and your friend suffered because it was all about you and what you wanted. I WANT MORE KIDS even if the father hates them from conception ( according to you )
Wow, because all babies are planned right? I can't believe after watching such a sad video, you have the nerve to be so hateful. Children are never to blame, and no matter WHAT someone's excuse is; you have NO RIGHT to do what this man did. Funny how he uses the excuse of her "taking his kids away" huh? But yeah, it's all about her. Grow up.
Of course, he had no right to do what he did. It also goes without saying, children are never to blame. I did not state anything to imply that he was justified in doing so nor was I blaming the children. This should be a monument to recklessness and stupidity, She has kids with a psychopath ( which he said he did not want ). I can not believe anyone could do that. Did she really not anticipate he might do something like that ? She ruined the lives of truly innocent people.
SHE ruined their lives? you are a truly evil, stupid man. you shouldnt be allowed to exist on this planet.if you were not listening everything was fine with him in the beginning. he "loved" their first son. how could she have anticipated the father of her children would try to murder her and her kids?and because he did not want them, its HER fault he tryed to kill them? ifhedidntwantthemheshould have left her and not knocked her up! youarejustasbadasthisman. yourideas areappallinganddisgusting.
No it isn't her fault,just only a mental midget would have carried on and acted the way she did. It stated "He hated the twins from the moment they were conceived" any rational, sane person with a brain cell would have gotten out then. Yes, he shouldn't have gotten her pregnant, but when he did and he still hated them. Someone had to be the responsible adult. Look at that guy, he looks exactly like the kind of white trash miscreant that would do exactly what he did but she was surprised ?
essat, ti is people like you that did to fall of the earth. Does it make you feel better to pick on someone else because of YOUR short comings? I am pretty sure you are the type of person to blame everyone else fro YOUR mistakes and faults.
thankyou for your courage toshare this. God watch over you and your family, you will always be in my prayers. I needed tosee this it shows me I need to stay away from my abusive ex.
God BLESS you and your family. Thank God you are all okay. Wish you guys the best. Your kids are beautiful and hopefully they can forget what happened.
This video also made me cry. I went through some DV as a younger child myself, but it never made it this far! I live about 20 miles away from where this incident happened in Iowa and can't believe that this happened in the little town of Pocohontas IA! My heart goes out to you and your children! Thank you for sharing your story to help others recognize DV and that it can happen to anyone at anytime. God bless you and your family!!!
This video broke my heart! Thank You so much for sharing your story and bringing DV out into the open. People need to SEE and not just HEAR what tragedies can result from DV. Looking at that beautiful child who suffered by the hand of an evil, twisted, weak man literally tore at my soul. You are such a strong survior. Stay that way for your chidren's sake and your own. God Bless you all.
This video made me cry. I am so sorry that you and your children had to go through this. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I wish you and your beautiful children all the best.
aww man..i c u went thru a tough time..dis video made me cry a lil..i wish u da best, and remeber that god is alaways lookin out for u & ur children..stay safe okay =]
I feel that America is way too naive and is in a "across the board" / "one size fits all" type of approach to the issue of violence among relatives. As usual, though. It's part of American culture to be naive and generalizing.
What is depicted here is a heinous crime which has NOTHING to do with the victim being a relative of the perpetrator.
Why is there a mix up between REAL violent crimes and shoving and pushing, for which men (and, alas, women) get dragged drown town? It looks like "DV" is part of 80% of divorces in America nowadays. Just an abuse of the system to get a leg up in divorce hearings and custody "battles".
Such minor cases clog the system and allow serious cases like the one here slip through without due attention of the society until it's really too late.
#1 Of course shoving and pushing is NOT OK... No relationship should ever degenerate to such dismal state in the first place. Ideally, people should get divorced before that ever happens. Conjugal relationships should stop to exist somewhere at the VERBAL assault phase.
#2 My point was about different matter, though. It seems that after OJ's case America got really "tough" on domestic violence. I don't think the program has demonstrated any efficacy in preventing homicides. There's no direct link between minor "pushing and shoving" and major rage outburst of deranged individuals. Most normal people know the difference between serious bodily harm and shoving, you know. ;)
#3 A side effect of the "program" is, though, that many people (both men and women) simply ABUSE it in order to get advantages at family court hearings. As a result courts are clogged, important cases slip through "standard violence prevention measures", and more rage induced by perceived "unfairness" of the system, which leads to murders in some cases.
#4 The biggest problem with the world is the stupidity of an average individual. Alas, this world is run in many cases by mediocrities, specifically in "democratic" countries, where "elected representatives" try hard to appeal to stupid mediocrities, which they call "constituents".
at what point do you KNOW ahead of time that you will eventually be pushed?
you've obviously never lived through it or known what abuse is.
when you love someone, sometimes you fight. if you were raised with a lot of yelling in the household, especially with any hitting or other physical "discipline" - the lines depicting ABUSE versus normal conflict are blurred.
please don't comment on things like this if you have nothing better to contribute than ignorance and pointless argument.
i will speak on behalf of victims here and those of us that are no longer here until my last breath on this earth. May you all have a safe and wonderful christmas season this year, as we have truly been blessed by all of you and the love on this page is our most precious gift from all.
I advocate for other women like myself, i too am in college to help others and working toward a bachelors degree in forensic psychology and have a criminal justice degree.
I just wanted to leave a note and say god bless to all of you and thank you for all of your support and love, my children and i are truly blessed by all of you. i wanted to leave an update too concerning what happened with our case. Richard had his appeal in the iowa supreme court and his convictions were upheld so my children and i can once again feel safe.
God Bless you and your children for all the courage to come through all the trauma you endured. I too went through violence in my first marriage but not to the degree that you had. Your children are BEAUTIFUL!! They Have a Great Mother!!
My experience was not as bad as yours but I got out. My prayers go out to you and your children and your friend. I am working towards a degree to help put these bastards where they belong. Give your children a big hug and yourself because you need one too. God be you.
i will always love you..i do not know you, and will never meet you, but we've shared more than a universe of fright, of pain, and of infinate sorrow.. thank you for sharing a brutal tragedy, only to hope that some other soul can learn from it.. i don't have vids to share my story. that is most likely better off, mine wasn't pretty, either. god, blessed, and thank you again!
God, I am so sorry. My prayers continue to go with you and your family. The memories of abuse will never go away but......God will be there and people like myself to send our support.
Beautiful video and yet such a heartbreaking story. You're a very strong woman, and it's good that you've made this video. I hope you and your children can live a safe and happy life forever. Good luck!!
This is an amazing testament to your strength. I am the Executive Director of a domestic violence program. I would love to have a copy of this video for community presentations. I wish you peace & joy.
wow! you are so strong and brave to post this. i know it will help alot of peole. i'm glad your husband is in jail for what he has done. May God give you strength through this.
I just wanted you to know that you are quite possibly the strongest woman I have ever seen :) I wish you all the happiness in the world and I hope that you and your family find happiness after all of the heartache you've gone through. You truely are a HERO!!!! A beautiful beautiful woman and you're children are absolutely gorgeous too :)
I will pray that from this day forward that your life is filled with no more saddness, just joy and happiness. You deserve nothing less - MWAH!!
I am a survior and I know I am lucky, but I didnt go though anything this bad. Good luck too u and ur family.
TheMommieoftwo 2 weeks ago
Just stumbled across this video tonight! .. Thinking it's not by chance! ty fr sharing!
lisamitchellable 3 months ago
@lisamitchellable : If i can save just one life from the fate we were handed then, it is all worth it, God Bless you Hon!
survivordv 2 months ago
Myself and my two children are also victims of domestic violence. I left to save my children from watching me be abused and also because the abuse was starting to go towards my children. When I called 911 for help the police officers treated me as though I was the one with the problem when it was so clear that the anger was from him. My neighbor and myself wrote to headquarters to report the police behavior this day, this sparked a new training program for the officers in our local precinct.
MsAriemae 4 months ago
@MsAriemae : That is absolutely wonderful news!!! God Bless you, you have just made my day! Thank you for taking a stand and speaking out, I know it is not an easy road but, the strength you gain is forever!
survivordv 2 months ago
God Bless you hon!! You have such inner strength and courage!! I am so proud of you!! You have all of my love, understanding and all of God's blessings!
survivordv 5 months ago
Hardest part is leaving. When I tell my storry it sounds so crazy people think I made it up. They say why didnt I leave sooner as if I had a problom. I resort to saying it was threats of " I will kill you if you try to leave" and now I know its called stockholm syndrome . He was so crazy I felt sorry for him because without my money he would be under a bridge. The kids I had with him he make me abort.. This was 20 years, but your storry makes me wonder all the what ifs.
porphyria2 7 months ago
@porphyria2 @porphyria2 I understand and hear you. In my case, it was not the same, I did not feel sorry for my abuser, I was terrified of him, I gave him control over me and my children and the moment I took it away, he went after my kids, he did soo much more to me than I put in the video but, did not think it appropropriate to put it in there. God Bless you and your tremendous courage and inner strength and thank you so much for posting your story, I love to hear my survivor sisters!
survivordv 5 months ago
this story always makes me very scared.... that's why i keep watching it
nanditeplus 8 months ago
@nanditeplus -I made it with the intention of showing people just how bad things can escalate if left to do so. I pray and hope it can save just one life then my son, myself and my best friend all almost dying will have not been in vain! God Bless you hon!
survivordv 5 months ago
the hotline dot org
TheAnnafisher 8 months ago
the hotline dot org
TheAnnafisher 8 months ago
I am not ashamed to admit that as a guy I actually cried after watching this video. I'm very sorry for everything you and your children and your friend had to endure. I wish I could say I'm happy that this is a happy ending (which, to an extent, it is because every victim and target survived) but unfortunately I cannot say that after hearing that Tristan suffered severe brain damage and your friend Scot cannot walk again and also suffered severe brain damage. God bless you and who have suffered.
YAOMINGOWNS 8 months ago
@YAOMINGOWNS -Thank you so much for your post, and real men are not afraid to admit to crying, and you sound like a real man and a good one at that! I wish you only the best in life! God bless you hon!
survivordv 5 months ago
I have currently fled from a violent relationship with my boyfriend who in his lastest attack on me threw a bed a heavy dresser on top of me while I am 3 months pregnant in front of my 5 year old. Watching this video just gave me the greatest wake up call of how me and my kids will probably end up if I go back again. It hurt me so much and I cried so hard watching this. Thank you for giving me the biggest wake up call and strength I needed to have the courage to get away and stay away forever
melljay123 8 months ago 2
@melljay123 - I am crying as i read your post hon! No one deserves to be abused ever!!! I am so glad my video helped you to get out of a dangerous relationship, you deserve so much more in life as do your children! You have the strength and courage to leave, that is absolutely admirable and I am blessed to know my video helped you, that was the intent for making it. you have made my day! God bless you always!
survivordv 5 months ago
what a coward he was.i left my ex 3 yrs ago and have a lifetime injunction on him.however i have had to face him n court many times through these years.he still has the 38 smith and wesson with a laser registered to me.the court demanded he turn it over however it never was.my divorce was finally over in dec 2010.i know he still lurks.i live with my parents and i fear for all of our lives all the time.i have no kids with him however he has my stepdaughter who i raised dcf does nothing.
dontdominateme 9 months ago
Bless you all, ... I survived 22 years of beatings, rapes, humiliation, by my parter since 17 yrs old.. some of the abuse was in front of our kids. Im touring the US bonding with people like yourselves, in summer 2012. Its SO important to come forth and share our stories, to show others who feel isolated, that they are not, and WE ARE HERE TO HELP! Suzanne Perry, OP Music House dot org. Im so heart heavy for you and your children, I wish you strength, positive energy, healing endurance & love
enoughofit7 10 months ago
@enoughofit7 - I completely agree with you, If we all take a stand, tell our stories and help others in situations we were once in, we can save one life at a time and what you are doing is truly god's work! I am proud to call all of you on here my survivor sisters, I consider all of my survivor sisters my family and it is a family like no other! I thank god each and every day for everyone he has brought into my life and the stories they tell. I have written my own story in a book. God bless you!
survivordv 5 months ago
FOR ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO TALK MORE TO ME OR JUST HAVE ANOTHER SURVIVOR SISTER AS A FRIEND, YOU CAN ALSO FIND ME ON FACEBOOK UNDER THE NAME "HOLLY NEWHOUSE (KIRSCH, GUIDRY, HAND) FROM IOWA. ALL OF MY SURVIVOR SISTERS ARE MY SPECIAL FAMILY, A GIFT FROM GOD!
survivordv 5 months ago
Bless you all, ... I survived 22 years of beatings, rapes, humiliation, by my parter since 17 yrs old.. some of the abuse was in front of our kids. Im touring the US bonding with people like yourselves, in summer 2012. Its SO important to come forth and share our stories, to show others who feel isolated, that they are not, and WE ARE HERE TO HELP! Suzanne Perry, OP Music House dot org. Im so heart heavy for you and your children, I wish you strength, positive energy, healing endurance & love.
enoughofit7 10 months ago
Bless you all, ... I survived 22 years of beatings, rapes, humiliation, by my parter since 17 yrs old.. some of the abuse was in front of our kids. Im touring the US bonding with people like yourselves, in summer 2012. Its so important to come forth and share our stories, to show others who feel isolated, that they are not, and WE ARE HERE TO HELP! Suzanne PErry, OP Music House dot org. Power, strength and love to you!
enoughofit7 10 months ago
this is sad it made me cry so sorry that you and your kids have to go this i am happy that you and your kids are still alive thank god.i am happy that he is prison.
80lovie 10 months ago
STOP VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN. I share my own experience to help even ONE other person to break the cycle of abuse and end the nightmare. Please be that person! Love, Sarah Go to Amazon for my book HONEYMOON AND HELL: A Memoir of Abuse by Sarah Braun. BREAK THE CYCLE AND END THE NIGHTMARE.
MsSarah729 1 year ago
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23noregrets 1 year ago
Im proud of your courage and the amazing courage of your children . I also came out of an abusive relation ship was beatened and stabbed by my ex my oldest son saw it all . My children have been my insperation and courage to overcome obsticals I never thought I could ever accomplish and now im in college studing for counselor for domestic violence . Not only are you an amazing person but your story also saved a life in my eyes that makes you a guardian angel . God bless you and your kids .
23noregrets 1 year ago
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BREAK THE CYCLE AND END THE NIGHTMARE. Why do women stay and call it love? I want to share my own experience to help even ONE other person to break the cycle of abuse and end the nightmare. Please be that person! Love, Sarah
Go to Amazon.com for my book HONEYMOON AND HELL: A Memoir of Abuse ($5.99)
MsSarah729 1 year ago
I am a man and have been physically abused in the last ten year by three different GF's. I got away from them all. It is truely unfortunate to see domestic violence towards anyone. It is my observation in Canada anyways, the likely hood of a man abusing in getting less and less (oh, it isn't gone altogether, regretfully) and the abuse of women towrads a man is increasing. The campaign for domestic abuse has been so onesided that women are taught they can't be abusers only victims.
GTCism 1 year ago
you truly are an amazing person to go through what you have and still be so positive after watching this video i now feel i have the courage to do something about my situation wishing you and your family all the best take care and god bless
hope3340 1 year ago
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Holly,
I am so proud of you. You have taken your pain and turned it into a positive for the sake of saving lives. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful children and I am glad to see that you have all made it through this whole ordeal with your lives. My mother and I are both survivors of domestic violence and we both cried while we watched your video.
Since I took control of my life and escaped my abuser, I have done everything I can think of to reach out to others and to raise awareness
gamma3ema 1 year ago
Holly,
I am so proud of you. You have taken your pain and turned it into a positive for the sake of saving lives. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful children and I am glad to see that you have all made it through this whole ordeal with your lives. My mother and I are both survivors of domestic violence and we both cried while we watched your video.
Since I took control of my life and escaped my abuser, I have done everything I can think of to reach out to others and to raise awareness
gamma3ema 1 year ago
What a touching video. Thank you for sharing. Hugs to you and your family, and what you have been through. Keep up the fight against DV- we are here fighting with you!
mannymote 1 year ago
I am 18 and I have lived through domestic violence, I am now in college and in the process of become a lawyer. My dream is to be a politician. I have started awareness towards Domestic violence. I believe anyone registered with a restraining order should not be able to carry a fire arm or any weaponry. There is no way to completely stop Domestic Violence, but if we all come together to advocate it, maybe we can save a life. You have inspired me to help make the bill a reality in Florida.
dollface1800 1 year ago
My friend was recently assaulted twice in the same day. we are lucky to have her with us. he broke her nose, fractured her tailbone, broke the bones in her hand and her fingers, gave her a severe concussion when he knocked her to the ground and then tried to run over her. her face is so bruised we hardly recognize her. he pled not guilty. he is a boxer and boxing coach. he said she did this to herself or she paid someone to beat her to ruin his career. he is out on bail. she is a wonderful lady
aninterestedpartyful 1 year ago
I would LOVE for you to tell your story on my radio show BEYOND WORDS LIVE....
Please let me know if you are ready to share on radio.
Kathryn
txbluebonnet 1 year ago
@txbluebonnet I had a 9 year relationship with a very sadustic abusive man. I am free now but I would LOVE to be able to let others know "why we don't leave." If I can help others by being on your radio program, just let me know.
thekenniewitch 1 year ago
your a very strong woman and your so blessed that everyone survived...im a survivor also...may god continue to bless your beautiful family
janetsu86 1 year ago
The HER CENTRE is a charitable organisation working for life betterment of local women affected by domestic violence who reside in the London Borough of Greenwich. For more info contact us at Forum at Greenwich, Trafalgar Road, Greenwich, SE10 9EQ, Tel 0208 858 0748
charyuill 1 year ago
May God bless you and your children and always keep you safe and loved. I don't know where to start..I am victim also..and have escaped with my life..but he is free and he has threatened that he will kill me and my children. I live daily with a knowing feeling that one day he will catch up with me..he has told me he will and i know he is capable of doing it. I'm afraid but trying to continue my life as normal as i can. Love you and send blessings to you and your children :)
spiritedgirl18 1 year ago
Alex, my heart goes out to you, believe me, and you are right the most dangerous time is not in the relationship, it is leaving the relationship. I am severely worried for you, have you talked to anyone like an advocate at a woman's shelter or sought to get a restraining order. You can also prove the stalking by getting a cheap camera and post it on the front or back of your house, a black and white one that records wirelessly to your vcr is best, it is what i purchased and record it, it proof
survivordv 1 year ago
Also, you need to try to get neighbors involved, mine did, after they saw pics and heard of the damage happening next door, they would constantly call the cops if they saw my ex, also invest in a smaller digital recorder and get a answering machine with a tape recorder, do anything you can to build up proof he is stalking you. also go to national crime victim hotline, they can really help too with many more resources than i can name here.
survivordv 1 year ago
@survivordv thank you so much! you give me hope i might make it out alive. i have an order of protection against anthony, but it means nothing to him. he broke in my condo & slept in my bed when i was out of town. he calls 75 times a day but only from pay phones. he rings my doorbell & yells but leaves before police arrive. i'm too scared to take a photo of him. he has 2 open cases for violating my O.P, but him having warrants doesn't do me good when he's out running free w/ murder on his mind.
alexdavidson1982 1 year ago
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alexdavidson1982 1 year ago
@survivordv IM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU.I KNOW YOUR PAINE AND WHAT YOU WILL ENDURE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF THIS.BE THANKFUL EVERY DAY THAT YOUR LITTLE BOY SURVIVED CHERISH EACH AND EVERY MOMENT WITH THIS LITTLE MARI CAL OF YOURS.I WISH EVERY DAY I HAD MY SON TO KISS AND HOLD AND LOVE.SADLY HIS FATHER TOOK HIM FROM ME BEFORE HE WAS BORN LEAVING HIS TWIN SISTER MENTALLY RETARDED FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE WHO SEEMS TO BE MISSING HER BROTHER AS WELL.GOD BLESS YOU AND ALL IN THE VIDEO
ImTheBabyDoll 9 months ago
@ImTheBabyDoll - I do cherish everymoment with my children, god gave a second chance in life and we have spent it helping others out of the same situation we were in and speak to inmates across our state in Iowa , even my son talks to them and there is never a dry eye in the house- he is my miracle and my angel here on earth. I am so sorry for what happened to your son and daughter, they are in my prayers now and always! God bless you hon! I am here if you ever need someone to talk to
survivordv 5 months ago
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alexdavidson1982 1 year ago
YOU ARE SUCH A STRONG WOMAN! i'm so sorry for the hell you've endured. it's awful how prevalent domestic violence is. what makes it worse is statistics show the most dangerous time for an abused woman is AFTER she leaves. this is the case for you & me. after years of black eyes, knife to the throat, broken ribs, & cigarette burns, i left. he spent a year in prison for aggravated dv. now he is out & stalking me. i can't leave my house b/c i know he's going to make good on his promise to murder me
alexdavidson1982 1 year ago
You have such a touching story! The lord has his eyes on you and your family. My parents do this and i know how it is on the children i will have you and your family in my prayers! God bless you!
JulieStandeford0304 1 year ago
What a brave woman you are.
Your an inspirationto every woman or man who has ever felt or suffered this kind of abuse.
You have 3 of the most beautiful children I've ever seen, and I wish you a lifetime of happiness.
MissSophieTV 1 year ago
I had the police come in today. I am now starting a domestic violence blog. I get emotional abuse but have had physical from time to time. I can't leave for various reasons but live separately in the house.
charreva 2 years ago
@charreva : Honey, please stay safe, I understand those reasons for not leaving I had them myself but, will pray to god that you never have to go through what my children and I still live with! Please stay safe, I am here for you anytime!!
survivordv 1 year ago
@survivordv - cheers, I am just creeping round the house each day, when he comes in, he is always miserable and I can feel the atmosphere. Oh well.. it could be worse.
charreva 1 year ago
@survivordv
We stay cause it's not not safe to leave or we get told/ or believe it's going to get better and/ or financially we're stuck in the situation.
for me the police wanted me to leave my home 9even though the home was in my name/ and my aunt's...) and wanted my children to stay in the home with him!! I went ballistic!! He wanted the same living arrangements..
one day I taken the hydro bill money and I taken my children I drove and drove then sold my van ASAP
swiftfox139 1 year ago
@survivordv YOU CAN leave there are NO reasons to stay. But i know what you mean as I've been there myself and tried to justify staying for various reasons.
Leaving will free you in more ways then you will ever know. It's YOUR life and you can start living it!! Call around your community for resources. There Are people who can and want to help you. my prayers and my heart are with you.
emilystrong461 7 months ago
@emilystrong461 - Thank you for your post but, I was long gone when I posted this video, actually we had already left him for almost a year when the shooting occurred, a year in which he told the court at his trial in 2006 that he spent all of that time stalking us and premeditating our murders because then, with us dead life would be so much easier for him!
survivordv 5 months ago
@emilystrong461 - Thank you for your post but, I was long gone when I posted this video, actually we had already left him for almost a year when the shooting occurred, a year in which he told the court at his trial in 2006 that he spent all of that time stalking us and premeditating our murders because then, with us dead life would be so much easier for him!
survivordv 5 months ago
Thanks for uploading the video, this is real life, hidden behind closed doors.
charreva 2 years ago
Thank you for finding the courage to share your story @survivordv. For those experiencing domestic violence in Santa Clara County, CA, please call the Support Network, 1-800-572-2782, we are here to help.
SupportNetwork 2 years ago
Thank you for finding the courage to share your story @survivordv. For those experiencing domestic violence in Santa Clara County, CA, please call the Support Network, 1-800-572-2782, we are here to help.
SupportNetwork 2 years ago
Thank you for finding the courage to share your story @survivordv. For those experiencing domestic violence in Santa Clara County, CA, please call the Support Network, 1-800-572-2782, we are here to help.
SupportNetwork 2 years ago
today i thought my husband was gonna kill me after watching your video i now have the strength to never go back thank you
FIADABRAT 2 years ago
You are so welcome honey. I am so glad you are safe now, you are a brave, courageous woman and you have all of my love and support for as long as you need it.
survivordv 1 year ago
i am a mother who suffered many years with the bad behaviour of my son.he is very abusive towards me he shout at me scream at me and also does call me names like you are bitch etc...
i am divorced from his father for a similair problem which i faced for 11 years.
today i did to call the police to throw him out because i had enough god forgive me and pleae tel me if i was right or wrong. my son is 25 years old doesn t work doesn t study jusy sending his time with his pc.
nasso60 2 years ago
You did right honey. No one has the right to be abusive toward you. Your son obviously needs some counseling and some help. He does not have the right to hurt, intimiate or downgrade you!!
Send you my personal email to your account on here!
survivordv 2 years ago
@survivordv
that's quite normal behavior for our children to do this, I too am a 6 year survivor and went through the same as you :survivordv
my youngest child seen everything... I didn't know..
just keep keep telling your child each time they do this..look at them in their face tell them "I love you, and that you need a hug, if you can have a hug from them.. our children too are going through the same thing on a different level.
swiftfox139 1 year ago
@survivordv HI the video was very touching.I m survivor of domestic violence myself both physical and emotional.3 YEars went by since the end of that abusive relationship and i still carry a lot of emotional pain.
MsIsabella28 1 year ago
I wish your family the best.
TashaRichardsonFan 2 years ago
I hope your family is doing well now. What you went through is horrible and no person should have to deal with that. What he did was wrong and he is the only person to blame for this. I hope you do not take to heart some of the horrible comments on here suggesting otherwise.
This is a wonderful video and hopefully helps educate some people out there about domestic violence. Thank you so much for your bravery in posting this.
MercyGirl05 2 years ago
what song is this
bloodpuddlescarred 2 years ago
All the blessings to you and your family. I cried seeing this video, what a pain you endured because of one cruel person. All the strength and happiness to you.
rosalindagius 2 years ago
You are an amazing woman! Thank you for posting this. So many people out there only want to judge survivors of DV for their choices. You are so strong and even though I do not know you, you make me so proud to be an advocate. You remind me why we are fighting this fight, even when the odds seem stacked against us. God bless you and your family and fellow survivors.
sarahrainee 2 years ago
Update: my children and i have since moved on with our lives since this incident and while we will never forget it , it no longer rules our lives, my daughter has severe psychological damage, my son is deaf blind and only has half of his brain but, we are strong and have moved on, i have since went back to college and am working on my doctorate degree in psychology and in victim traumatology to help others who are in the situation i once was and to work with crime victims and survivors. god bles
survivordv 2 years ago
You are so brave hun for posting this up. Those poor children. How could anyone do such an awful thing to their family.
Freebird
Freebird230773 2 years ago
Thank you very much for being so brave and posting your story online. I know it takes a lot of courage. I posted my story in the video response section. I hope things continue to move forward and that is AWESOME he's in prison....Unfortunately I'm still in the court process after mine, and it's been nearly 2 years. You are amazing! Thank you so much for sharing.
cowgal6946 2 years ago
God Bless you and your beautiful family. You are so very courageous and my new found hero. I wish you and your family all the love and happiness you deserve. Thank you for sharing your heart wrenching story. I commend you on your strength.
ToWhomeItMayConcern 2 years ago
I hope you all become stronger people after this horrific event and tragedy. thnak you for telling your heart wrenching story. It takes allot of courage to speak up and out about DV. God bless you and your family.
shields188 2 years ago
What a painful but honest video. The images of the van and the devastating injuries to your family and friends are so horrible, but an important testimony to why we must STOP domestic violence. There is a special kind of evil in a man who could perpetrate such horrors on those he supposedly loves.
I wish you peace, freedom and health. What you have survived no one should be asked to endure.
Lynniji15 2 years ago
I was in almost the same situation you were.I just wanted to say that you should be proud of the strength that you have.Your children are all beautiful and have gotten their strength from their mother.I hope things work out for all of you,it took me almost ten years to decide what I needed to do.I'm getting everything together to go back to school and become a social worker that specializes in domestic violence. My prayers are with all of you.
raeflack 2 years ago
Omg I was nearly sobbing
You said Tristan lost his sight and hearing
Does he have a hearing aid or anything to help
I feel soo bad that he not only can't see but he can't hear too
CourtneyKangaroo 2 years ago
Tristan has a hearing aid for his one good ear but, he is losing his hearing completely. he mainly uses body sign language that we developed ourselves, him and I.
survivordv 2 years ago
Iam so sorry. This truly touched me, especailly when i saw Tristan. Im glad you got out & he is in jail. My ex boyfriend who abused me is in jail for attempted murder also. I hope he will stay there for a while, but if he gets out im not scared. I gave the situation to God. God bless you!
iloveporsha18 2 years ago
I am so sorry for what had happened to you and your family. This video broke my heart!
My prayers are with all of you.
atenasb 2 years ago
I do hope his years in prison teach him many things including how to beg for his life and understand the helplessness of DA BOYS attacking him. You should visit the prick inside and laugh at him. Good on ya for posting his photo.
downunderbaseball 2 years ago
OMY this is awesome. I'm glad to see the abuser's face posted on the internet. I think all abuser's photos should be on the internet. It would help us to protect ourselves.
Thank you so much. Take care.
hautshot1 2 years ago
I"m so sorry for all the troubles you and your family have had to endure. You diserve the best. I wish and hope and pray the best for you and your family. I hope all of your children and you are doing well. thank you for sharing such a passionate hard story. I really apreciated it.
stephychick34 2 years ago
I am so very sorry this happened to you and your family :( I don't know how somebody could do that to a person...especially kids. That breaks my heart for you.
WootyPooh 2 years ago
God, I pray for your family.
shallyjean 2 years ago
I wanted to say I'm sooo sorry you went through this, and now you are every victims Advocate! I am a survivor and was pregnant when I left. Bless you and yours. I hope all are well.
ewoodcock2 2 years ago
I started crying, but my husband keeps asking me questions form downstairs. I'm kind of glad cause I think that I would have lost it. Thank you so much for putting this up for everyone to see. Very touching and I'm glad everyone made it. I have worked with people who have brain damage and I understand how challenging that is. I think you are pretty awesome to be able to put a positive light. I know that is as beautiful and that your family and have a remarkable light now.
lovelustandlife 2 years ago
WOW . i cried when i saw this . i could not even imagine going through all that . you were put through all this and still had the strength to make this video to warn others . god bless you and your wonderful family . i don't know how a man can be so heartless , but i hope that if this ever happens to me , that i will have the courage to help others like you did .
backoffiamasim 3 years ago
Very sad but quite honestly if a man is going to be so mad as to want to hurt his family he would have done the damage another way. So glad you all came out of this well, look at my videos different angle but still domestic violence. x
LovingmotherUK 3 years ago
WoW! This video speaks volumes. As a domestic abuse survivor myself I often think about how bad it really could have been. It was bad enough as it was and when I finally got out I had to move over 1,700 miles away and basically fall off the face of the Earth in order for him not to find me. I hope that your story will help other domestic violence victims see that they are not alone and that they can get out.
dakotasgirl2006 3 years ago
hugs to u..BIG hugs...and God Bless u and ur family!!!
Rebelthecoolcat 3 years ago
Wow.You and your family are such an inspiration to all survivors of domestic violence. I too am a survivor of domestic violence. Thank you for sharing your story.
kristygrin 3 years ago
WOW! I admire your strength! I myself escaped a domesticly violent situation and am now working, after recieving my Bachelor's of Social Work degree, as a sexual assault and domestic violence advocate! TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE... if these things are happening to you... TALK TO SOMEONE! It may seem SO hard to get out, but you can and you will!!! God Bless!
rhubbling1 3 years ago
God Bless you and your beautiful family. I too am a survivor but went through nothing like you did. I never had children with this man and thank God for that every day. Keep strong and know you have an angel watching out for you everyday. Keep strong and be happy
kenseth03 3 years ago
OMG i dnnt know how u coped with this at all i went through 2 years of which i though was bad but it wasnt like wat u went through ive ot court in about 2 weeks for my domestic violence and my ex excuse is " i only hit her cuz she wudnt listen " kinds seems trivial compared 2 wat u went through U TRULY ARE AN ANAMAZING PERSON i struggle to cope so i cnt imaged how you did its so hard xXx
shell138 3 years ago
DV is so little understood by the courts.
Let me guess, when you married you were "weak", or adored him.
As you got involved with the kids, he became jealous, as you adored your children.
It looks like you got an education, good for you. That and the wife earning more money is often a trigger, a dent to the "male ego".
DV is often when the wife is perceived as a "threat" or the children are threatening his "status". Sick isn't it...
UKSecretCourts 3 years ago
God bless you and your wonderful family.
My EX is an abuser.
Now I am with someone who treats me and my family well.
I am not strong.
You are a strong person!
Thank you for your video.
sackgirl78 3 years ago
It's too multidimensional - there's no single factor, like "the birth of a child and not being in the center of attention". All men and women are PEOPLE - very complicated and unpredictable, for the most part. There's no "unified theory" - don't wast your time, just follow your instincts in YOUR relationship. Don't YOU be a fool.
EnglishCoachMoscow 3 years ago
you and scot are two strong people I hope you to have each other.your children are beautiful and god put them here for a reason and will not let them go until he is ready.I hate to say this but i hope you ex is tourmented every day that he still has breath in his body.nobody deserves the damage that has been done to you and you family i will keep your family in my prayers
naeemah81 3 years ago
"at what point do you KNOW ahead of time that you will eventually be pushed?"
It never comes out of the blue. When you are married to someone, you should feel that person ahead of time. Ideally -- before you even have children with that person.
Loafer2008 3 years ago
It is often the birth of child that triggers them, because they are no longer centre of attention.
These are people who never grew up- but married their mothers- in their minds anyway.
I did my thesis on DV and even I did not see it coming.
My husband even managed to fool all the so called professionals for years too- so even some experts have no idea.
catherinesara 3 years ago 2
I am not that naïve -- when things were heading south for divorce, I was accused of misdemeanor
domestic violence by my now ex in the US myself. Frankly, I just pushed a drunk out of the door and locked her out, because I didn't want my than 1 and ½ year old to go to the swimming pool with a drunk woman.
Loafer2008 3 years ago
My point was -- because I had been accused of something, real serious cases (like this one) could have slipped through the system, because it all bunched up into "domestic violence".
There's no DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. It's only in American naïve minds. There's a violent CRIME. It has nothing to do with conjugal relationship.
Loafer2008 3 years ago
omg! thank god you're alive! thank god your kids are safe! how could he ever plead 'not guilty'? you're a survivor and a role model for women everywhere, thank you so much for sharing this painful story! maybe by sharing it you'll help someone else get out before this happens to them!
z10n1d3 3 years ago 6
im so sorry for u n ur children u r very brave,my heart goes out 2 u & ur family.. ur video had me in tears. men that disrespect women like that dont deserve a life at all! i hope ur doing well know and life is so much better for u.. thanks 4 sharing. u have a beautiful family.. god bless x
beautifulshay01 3 years ago
you are a very brave lady and so are your children and your children, please stay strong and i hope life treats you so much better from now on xxxx
rach20031 3 years ago
you, your children and your friend are very brave people. your children are absolutely gorgeous and you should be so proud of them. i have 3 children, they are 5, 3 and 8 months, i am in an abusive relationship and your vid has given me the inspiration to now leave, so thank-you xxx
rach20031 3 years ago
I am so sorry for all you and your babies have been through. I write to you through tears for you and for myself. I have to leave my situation or I fear my child and I too will suffer a tragedy like yours. I am so sorry for your pain...stay strong.
vickistress73 3 years ago
thank you very much, lady, for sharing your life with allof us! i hope it helps some other momma trying to get out..
and as for Essat..where, may i ask, do you live? only currious.. demograghics are so verry fascinating to me.. just asking..
bodies2 3 years ago
too bad he didnt hit you somewhere serious, your white trash scum and dont deserve the skin that surronds your pathetic body.
essat 3 years ago
you are obviously an abuser yourself or you would understand the need for this! call me what you want sir, i have been called worse by much better, if your trying to scare me, keep trying buddy, i am not afraid of any man anymore!!!
survivordv 3 years ago
I had my times of domestic violence by my fother and do not have a problem to tell about that, but keep whining about, making videos with lame music and exposing my personal life really is not the answer. I agree with the dude. You define your life by the abuse you suffered. If you were a dog they would propably put you to sleep.
DINDRAGON 2 years ago
get a life your just jelous cause she isnt afraid to keep it a secret ... !! Atleast she sought help and is trying to encourage people into seeking help why you sit on peoples youtube videos moaning bout telling there story when clearly you are telling yours !! Thanks you for a brill vid !!!
leftykay 2 years ago
That message was too dindragon !! and seriously you are a truly courageous womanxx
leftykay 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
FUCK YOU ASSHOLE
chenowethlover 2 years ago
Agreed. If you can delude yourself into thinking you have done something about the problem go ahead. Before I go any further, I am terribly sorry for what happened to you and I am happy he was sentenced.
Take a look at the guy you married. Have you ever seen an episode of cops ? All abusers look like this guy ( ok I am kidding ) Look at her guys, tell me you take a swing at her after a couple of drinks ( again I am kidding )
Why would have kids he didn't want ?
DandDskeeto 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Consider YOUR blame in this. He continued to abuse you..YOU decided to have his children. He didn't want them ...YOU had them anyway. Never mind the fact you had the children of a worthless piece of humanity ,,,,kids he DIDN'T want. Can you honestly say you hadn't considered this might of happened ? Your child and your friend suffered because it was all about you and what you wanted. I WANT MORE KIDS even if the father hates them from conception ( according to you )
DandDskeeto 2 years ago
if he didn't want them then he should have wrapped it up! how about that?!
vaunjay 2 years ago
if he didn't want them he should have wrapped it up in the first place and HE wouldn't have had the issues in the end.
vaunjay 2 years ago
Wow, because all babies are planned right? I can't believe after watching such a sad video, you have the nerve to be so hateful. Children are never to blame, and no matter WHAT someone's excuse is; you have NO RIGHT to do what this man did. Funny how he uses the excuse of her "taking his kids away" huh? But yeah, it's all about her. Grow up.
slapplejuice 2 years ago
Of course, he had no right to do what he did. It also goes without saying, children are never to blame. I did not state anything to imply that he was justified in doing so nor was I blaming the children. This should be a monument to recklessness and stupidity, She has kids with a psychopath ( which he said he did not want ). I can not believe anyone could do that. Did she really not anticipate he might do something like that ? She ruined the lives of truly innocent people.
DandDskeeto 2 years ago
SHE ruined their lives? you are a truly evil, stupid man. you shouldnt be allowed to exist on this planet.if you were not listening everything was fine with him in the beginning. he "loved" their first son. how could she have anticipated the father of her children would try to murder her and her kids?and because he did not want them, its HER fault he tryed to kill them? ifhedidntwantthemheshould have left her and not knocked her up! youarejustasbadasthisman. yourideas areappallinganddisgusting.
Scarletfoe 2 years ago 2
No it isn't her fault,just only a mental midget would have carried on and acted the way she did. It stated "He hated the twins from the moment they were conceived" any rational, sane person with a brain cell would have gotten out then. Yes, he shouldn't have gotten her pregnant, but when he did and he still hated them. Someone had to be the responsible adult. Look at that guy, he looks exactly like the kind of white trash miscreant that would do exactly what he did but she was surprised ?
DandDskeeto 2 years ago
WoW.... some people just dont get it, its men like
DandDskeeto who hit on women and children, pay no mind to what this NOBODY says... he isnt worth anyone's time
RedUnicornLady 2 years ago
wut?
DINDRAGON 2 years ago
essat, ti is people like you that did to fall of the earth. Does it make you feel better to pick on someone else because of YOUR short comings? I am pretty sure you are the type of person to blame everyone else fro YOUR mistakes and faults.
shields188 3 years ago
fall of the earth? are you a creationist or something?
DINDRAGON 2 years ago
thankyou for your courage toshare this. God watch over you and your family, you will always be in my prayers. I needed tosee this it shows me I need to stay away from my abusive ex.
mommaswatchinU 3 years ago
God bless you & your family.
sinfinitii 3 years ago
Bless your heart! You've been through ALOT! Hugs to you and your children, and friend.
Stay strong.
x
LittleMissNutCase 3 years ago
wow made me tear up god bless
menve21 3 years ago
I was truly touched by this video. My heart goes out to you and your family. May God bless you all with the happiness you all so deserve. xox
04ksht 3 years ago
x x x
darrensgirl23 3 years ago
God BLESS you and your family. Thank God you are all okay. Wish you guys the best. Your kids are beautiful and hopefully they can forget what happened.
wrodz7657 3 years ago
This video also made me cry. I went through some DV as a younger child myself, but it never made it this far! I live about 20 miles away from where this incident happened in Iowa and can't believe that this happened in the little town of Pocohontas IA! My heart goes out to you and your children! Thank you for sharing your story to help others recognize DV and that it can happen to anyone at anytime. God bless you and your family!!!
NatalieS1981327 3 years ago
God bless you all!
carriesept1971 3 years ago
This video broke my heart! Thank You so much for sharing your story and bringing DV out into the open. People need to SEE and not just HEAR what tragedies can result from DV. Looking at that beautiful child who suffered by the hand of an evil, twisted, weak man literally tore at my soul. You are such a strong survior. Stay that way for your chidren's sake and your own. God Bless you all.
kellSPN 4 years ago
This video made me cry. I am so sorry that you and your children had to go through this. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I wish you and your beautiful children all the best.
smellypiranha 4 years ago
aww man..i c u went thru a tough time..dis video made me cry a lil..i wish u da best, and remeber that god is alaways lookin out for u & ur children..stay safe okay =]
LADiiHoOoDRiiCH 4 years ago
STANDING OVATION!
people need to seeeeeee.
cloudwriter 4 years ago
I feel that America is way too naive and is in a "across the board" / "one size fits all" type of approach to the issue of violence among relatives. As usual, though. It's part of American culture to be naive and generalizing.
What is depicted here is a heinous crime which has NOTHING to do with the victim being a relative of the perpetrator.
Loafer2008 4 years ago
Why is there a mix up between REAL violent crimes and shoving and pushing, for which men (and, alas, women) get dragged drown town? It looks like "DV" is part of 80% of divorces in America nowadays. Just an abuse of the system to get a leg up in divorce hearings and custody "battles".
Such minor cases clog the system and allow serious cases like the one here slip through without due attention of the society until it's really too late.
Loafer2008 4 years ago
SHOVING AND PUSHING SOMEONE IS STILL VIOLENCE!! It's not murder, but it's NOT OK!!!
You can try and justify violence you have committed, but evening shoving, smacking, or verbally assaulting someone is NEVER OK.
alanisjunkie128 3 years ago
#1 Of course shoving and pushing is NOT OK... No relationship should ever degenerate to such dismal state in the first place. Ideally, people should get divorced before that ever happens. Conjugal relationships should stop to exist somewhere at the VERBAL assault phase.
Loafer2008 3 years ago
#2 My point was about different matter, though. It seems that after OJ's case America got really "tough" on domestic violence. I don't think the program has demonstrated any efficacy in preventing homicides. There's no direct link between minor "pushing and shoving" and major rage outburst of deranged individuals. Most normal people know the difference between serious bodily harm and shoving, you know. ;)
Loafer2008 3 years ago
#3 A side effect of the "program" is, though, that many people (both men and women) simply ABUSE it in order to get advantages at family court hearings. As a result courts are clogged, important cases slip through "standard violence prevention measures", and more rage induced by perceived "unfairness" of the system, which leads to murders in some cases.
Loafer2008 3 years ago
#4 The biggest problem with the world is the stupidity of an average individual. Alas, this world is run in many cases by mediocrities, specifically in "democratic" countries, where "elected representatives" try hard to appeal to stupid mediocrities, which they call "constituents".
Loafer2008 3 years ago
at what point do you KNOW ahead of time that you will eventually be pushed?
you've obviously never lived through it or known what abuse is.
when you love someone, sometimes you fight. if you were raised with a lot of yelling in the household, especially with any hitting or other physical "discipline" - the lines depicting ABUSE versus normal conflict are blurred.
please don't comment on things like this if you have nothing better to contribute than ignorance and pointless argument.
z10n1d3 3 years ago
God bless and thank you again and hugs to all
Holly J Newhouse. aka survivordv
sorry had to put this into 4 posts :)
survivordv 4 years ago
i will speak on behalf of victims here and those of us that are no longer here until my last breath on this earth. May you all have a safe and wonderful christmas season this year, as we have truly been blessed by all of you and the love on this page is our most precious gift from all.
survivordv 4 years ago
I advocate for other women like myself, i too am in college to help others and working toward a bachelors degree in forensic psychology and have a criminal justice degree.
survivordv 4 years ago
I just wanted to leave a note and say god bless to all of you and thank you for all of your support and love, my children and i are truly blessed by all of you. i wanted to leave an update too concerning what happened with our case. Richard had his appeal in the iowa supreme court and his convictions were upheld so my children and i can once again feel safe.
survivordv 4 years ago
God Bless you and your children for all the courage to come through all the trauma you endured. I too went through violence in my first marriage but not to the degree that you had. Your children are BEAUTIFUL!! They Have a Great Mother!!
Ritasraves 4 years ago
i hope the bravery u showed in makin this video helps someone somewhere break away frm their abuser .... god bless u and ur beautiful children xxxx
OiCh33ky 4 years ago
Thank you for sharing this with me and us. I am so glad that you and your family are alive.
1974Falc 4 years ago
My experience was not as bad as yours but I got out. My prayers go out to you and your children and your friend. I am working towards a degree to help put these bastards where they belong. Give your children a big hug and yourself because you need one too. God be you.
harleylr99 4 years ago
i will always love you..i do not know you, and will never meet you, but we've shared more than a universe of fright, of pain, and of infinate sorrow.. thank you for sharing a brutal tragedy, only to hope that some other soul can learn from it.. i don't have vids to share my story. that is most likely better off, mine wasn't pretty, either. god, blessed, and thank you again!
bodies2 4 years ago
You are an amazing woman. Your children are blessed to have you as a mother. I wish i could reach out and hug you all. God bless you.
SCAMPSCOTT 4 years ago
I hope that bastard suffers in jail every single day.
He deserves nothing, no bed no food no water, let him rot.
Tuesdayheston 4 years ago
God, I am so sorry. My prayers continue to go with you and your family. The memories of abuse will never go away but......God will be there and people like myself to send our support.
GOD BLESS!!!!
Rosats47 4 years ago
that vidio made me cry nearly seeing that little baby like that,sick.Sorry to the famliy.x
ashey87 4 years ago
Beautiful video and yet such a heartbreaking story. You're a very strong woman, and it's good that you've made this video. I hope you and your children can live a safe and happy life forever. Good luck!!
bmsmatrices 4 years ago
Thank you for this video i have two small children and am in transitioning to being a single mother for the sake of my children.
jessicangel06 4 years ago
good luck for the future, be strong and be brave. i hope things r goin well for u and ur children xxx
OiCh33ky 4 years ago
Made me really cold. Thank you for sharing this with us, you're all so strong xx
ourleanne45 4 years ago
This is an amazing testament to your strength. I am the Executive Director of a domestic violence program. I would love to have a copy of this video for community presentations. I wish you peace & joy.
pgs319 4 years ago
I need to start by saying that youre children are beauitful and so brave, you all are. god be with you all. oh and i agree they should hang him!!!
TweekerSand 4 years ago
should of hung the bastard!!! all my love to u an ur family
lauragriffin06 4 years ago
wow! you are so strong and brave to post this. i know it will help alot of peole. i'm glad your husband is in jail for what he has done. May God give you strength through this.
Light2guideyou 4 years ago
I just wanted you to know that you are quite possibly the strongest woman I have ever seen :) I wish you all the happiness in the world and I hope that you and your family find happiness after all of the heartache you've gone through. You truely are a HERO!!!! A beautiful beautiful woman and you're children are absolutely gorgeous too :)
I will pray that from this day forward that your life is filled with no more saddness, just joy and happiness. You deserve nothing less - MWAH!!
lisam467 4 years ago