At least Megan Fox was hot. Any movie that wins an oscar prob has some topless fat disgusting old pig with her sagging tits on the spa. Look at how fat and ugly women are in art if you go into an art museum. No thanks.
If you grew up with Transformers in the 80's and you liked Michael bay's bullshit movie, you are not a Transformers fan. The original movie with Orson Welles, Leonard Nimoy, Eric Idle and Judd Nelson is the only REAL Transformers movie.
I like Transformers, but I did grow up with it and was crazy bout it as a kid lol, so theres alot of nostalgia there for me. The only thing thats so annoying for me bout this film is the whole teen stuff, it takes up just too much of the damn movie. And Im not mad on Shia either. But the action and how the TF r portrayed in that realistic style, but theres enough of their characters still there that u do recognize them, if u can accept the realistic and Immensely detailed style its done.
Number 3 is even worse! I can forgive the first two films because expectations were low and I wasnt really expecting to be transported back to my childhood self reading the comics. Which were themselves mostly just ads for the toys (but perhaps pretty classy ads with characters and plots
But I cannot forgive the travesty of the final few minutes NO SPOILERS here just in case you want to watch it yourselves. But be prepared to have your childhood dreams pseudo crushed by a pseudo director. Prat
I think people should understand that the cartoon is all fighting and explosions, the toys well what boy doesnt pretend to blow up things with them, so its a little foolish to assume that the movie would be anything else but what it is. Micheal Bay was the best choice to direct this kind of movie. which is an action flick 100%
But you can make an action film work with a storyline, that's what Michael Bay didn't. Most movies, not all but most movies start with some creative spark somewhere. All michael bay does is shove as much shit on the screen as possible and expect the audience to accept it. When you're young I guess it don't matter but the more matured viewers are more worried about a storyline and something to connect with besides tons of useless action scenes.
@LivinWorstNightmare You are right. Story is very important. I personally cant watch it if I pay too much attention especially in revenge of the fallen. I guess I was applauding him for the transformation, no pun intended, of toon/toy action to live action. But, it is truly a story with too many holes or random scenes - but I dont remember the story from any of his movies, so I dont expect to on this one or the 3rd.
I'm liking this guy. But I don't care what he says, I like Transformers. Lots of explosions, fighting robots, nice looking CGI...I'm so easily pleased.
Next week, when the big fat gypsy wedding is on, I shall sit and watch all Kermode's reviews on Youtube. This review is more entertaining than the film.
transformers is the worst film of all time and for me sits along Avatar and the star wars trilogy - what do they all have in common - they are some of highest grossing films of all time - these piles of drivel make me so angry
if they are so terrible how come they make billions. hes not trying to make oscar movies. there summer popcorn films idiots. over think everything. oh and how many movies have any of you made!
@robjames11jimbo Prior to Dark Knight, Iron Man, Star Trek, Avatar, I *might* have agreed. They all proved you can make a big-budget movie that's NOT a slapped-together POS.
Absolute garbage films from the worst director out there
After getting through most of the film, ALL I wanted was a decent tear-up between the two robots at the end... and he couldn't even do that right, it looked like a gymnastic dance-off
1) Recreated and updated the experience for a new generation of kiddies who want to dream about epic sci-fi conflicts
2) Added enough substance for former kiddies to enjoy a nostalgic trip without thinking "oh dear, this thing I used to love is actually toy-pushing rubbish."
The fight between Optimus and Megatron at the end was fucking limp and WHY DO BORING FUCKING HUMANS HAVE TO GET IN ON EVERY DAMN THING THAT HAPPENS IN THIS FILM!?!?
I DO NOT CARE about Generic Mr G.I. Joe and his generic unkillable buddies; I DO NOT CARE about teenage virgin trying to shag teenage sex-doll in his new car. When you are a kid Transformers seems like this sci-fi kiddie version of The Illiad - the film should have done one or both of 2 things:
I fondly remember my Optimus Prime, my Starscream, my Sidewinder, my Bumblebee, my Grapple, my Megatron toys as a kid. I even remember seeing the very first Transformers movie with my dad back in the 80s. However, I actually sat through this film one day when it came on TV, and it was so bad I actually felt nauseous. Suffice it to say I will not be watching the sequels. Michael Bay, JUST GO AWAY!
I liked the first movie. It is stupid and hollow, but also funny and has shit blowing up nicely. It is cotton candy and it is okay with it. The second movie is trying to be more like cotton candy and fails.
Hes not in it. Hes in Gran Torino... but if he were in Harry Brown, it would probably be a "pissed off old man who squints at people with great intensity, before doleing out justice" role.
@EvilgidgitReturns And since that they got John Turturro to lower himself in the 1st two movies for the big buck, this is still no seal of quality....
Tranformers II was a pile of michael bay shit. but he somewhere managed to pull off making a great movie with the first one. but i agree with what kermode says about michael bay in general.
See I liked this TF movie but hated ROTF and thought precisely this man must direct porn for the next two years to get the 40 year old frat boyishness out of his system before the third movie comes out.
I fucking hate Michael bay. he ruined Transformers for me by focusing on the bloody people, why do you need human characters when you are working a plot that contains Sentient Robots?
Oh and don't even get me started on his obsession with the army.
Define and explain the target audience for Transformers. Imagine a themepark. Imagine a rollercoaster. Now imagine the people in the cars. They go "Woooooooh!" with a tickle in the belly. Now, where's the filmcritic in all of this? Preferably in it, riding it, but also observing the architecture from afar, trying to get the whole picture. In the case of Transformers AS A FILM it's a piece of feaces with an allspark crammed in the middle. Good thing a themepark has different things to try.
Mark is a great critic and I've been a fan from way back to his Moviedrome days, but he does have a tendency for climbing up his own arse from time to time....sorry MK fan boys. He's also inconsistent with his points: He says high school musical is good because it does what it says on the tin, yet he slags of a film about action toys for being too loud and having unrealistic characters etc... To me that's double standards.
You make an interesting point. But critics are, like the rest of us, often inconsistent.
However, I do think he was reasonably clear that a problem with Transformers was that its loudness made it incomprehensible, and an action film should at least have some level of comprehensibility.
i hate this guy, he is the most inconsistent critic ive heard, he is an idiot i think he tries to go against the current regardless of whether it is a good movie or not just to be controversial, transformers was an average movie, but its not as bad as he is going on about, i havent heard him say anything good about any new movies that are coming out. he is a burnt out dinosaur and i think he doesnt have long to go, he is so narrow in his perspective...
I do not get what he means by it has no narrative. It claerly has a narrative. Ok I disagree with him on the review, but I think Michael Bay is picked on by critics as he maked films that are action packed and aimed at a certain audience. If Kermode is not in that target audience, then he will slate Bay's films.
I have watched both Transformer movies, and I have no idea what the plot of either film was supposed to be. These are terrible, incomprehensible non-films.
yea man he has such a narrow perspective and never takes into account of target audience. he is like some sort of nazi critic, in that if the film doesnt cater for a 50 year old dinosaur then it will be slated. i dont think michael bay would be in command of millions of pounds in movie budgets if he was only fit to direct porn like he is saying. God forbid he reviews any films aimed at kids "that thomas the tank engine was a load of bollocks"
If you bothered to listen to his other reviews, you'd know that's not true. He recently gave Sherlock Holmes a good review, he liked Avatar, and he thought Star Trek was great. This idea that Michael Bay gets a pass because his films are "meant to be entertaining" is bullshit. That's no excuse. You still have to try to tell a good story. You're the only Nazi here since you can't respect a different opinion.
Transformers movies are never gonna be Citizen Kane or whatevr, and theyre never supposed to be, but it is possible to make a perfectly acceptable, loud, fun, action-packed movie that has half a brain- most recent examples i can think of that were 'blockbusters' but were legitmtely good movies are Hellboy 2 and Iron Man- Transformers has nothing on these films- its long and nonsensical. why put so much effort into cgi then not give us a chance to really see it- the action was a mess...
I rented this movie for about a dollar. I couldn't make my way through the whole thing. I tried very hard to tolerate it, but between LaBeouf's annoying patter, the constant quick-cut direction and the silliness of the plot, I just had to check out at about 1 hour and 50 minutes.
If this was aimed at kids, then the filmmakers have a cynical attitude toward the intelligence of children.
To be fair, some people only have very small brains that can't hold much information. These are the people Michael Bay caters for with films like Transformers.
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hehe, pussyes who gives me negtaiv symbol. the only guys who are saying it's good movie are those who just like it. Yeah, give me a comment losers who likes Tranformers!
You might be getting thumb downs because all of the so called best films of all time you mentioned in your comment have a sort of hollywood, blockbustery kinda thing going on. Maybe you should broaden your horizons a little and watch some more varied movies.
I has poor logic, overdone or poor acting for the role (but only Michael Bays falt), and there is alot of wrong things in this movie that those not work for those who "has" a cloue for what a real good movie is.
But realy I am not bother, the ones who should see alot more movies are those who hail Transformes for Classic or more.
Normally, I like Kermode. I think he's a brilliant critic who knows his stuff. But I can't take him seriously here.
To say he "literally" cannot hear anything anyone is saying kinda ruins his credibility. I've watched this movie three or four times now (including a cinema viewing). I've never had a problem with hearing any of the dialogue.
Yes, it's loud, and if he wants to make that point then fair enough. But to use the word "literally" in order to make that point is very silly indeed.
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Honestly, I enjoyed Revenge of the Fallen (mainly for the serious world-crushing elements and the mythology played out during Sam's journey), but I'm not brainwashed by Bay's adolescent comedy antics like the other yankie-doodle dickheads who laugh at the sight of racist characters like Mud and Skids.
This movie is utter shite, no plot, no good scenes, no good drama. Anyone suckered into this is a gobshite with no brain
Everything he has had to say about the Transformers movie is correct. Michael Bay is an awful director and the movie only exists to generate money and promote the toys therefore generating more money and also to promote every other product that is shamelessly placed in the movie. His Transformers 2 review on Kermode Uncut pretty much says it all, so to speak.
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sometimes kermode doesn't know the meaning of fun. and when he gets self righteous about the t&a..it gets rather sad. sometimes he sounds so out of touch..like the cranky oldsters who cried foul at the rock and roll corrupting the youth.
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I used to respect Kermode as a reviewer but after watchin this he can go to hell! So he was shoutin to his mate durin the film,mmh doubt it he wld have been chucked out and that u cnt hear the actors talk, more crap! Go and watch sme crap period piece Kermode you twat!
Can't wait for him to rant about it's sequel: RoTF. I just watched the film again, and I agree with him that it's a bad film - bad acting, stereotyped and one-dimentional characterisation, undeveloped plot and conflict between the two races of robots, frenetic and annoying editing, cliched romance, cheesy dialogue and it's too long by about 15-30 mins.
Also, despite having 7 action scenes, they all lacked dramatic tension - even The Day After Tomorrow had that in it's first half!
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the funny thing is the editing preventing you from actually enjoying the special effects...you simply couldn't focus on the machines long enough...i sat next to a twelve year old boy who kept fidgeting and hassling his mum to leave
lightsanime: are not exactly judging them, they are just stating that the iranian scientists these days are just not very well educated. the fact that you tried to pull the race card clearly states that your african american, indian etc. your are using the race card as a cruch.
also, if bay is such a bad action movie director than why is he the only director who has access to the pentagon? and the reason they put megan fox in is too draw more viewers then just kids. it was a smart move.
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I didn't realize the Pentagon were known for their taste in filmmakers. I wonder what would happen if Roger Ebert became President as well...
Michael Bay is good at one thing and one thing only: Blowing shit up. If you want a good action movie director, go to James Cameron. At least he can string a decent story together.
micheal bay created the famous "got milk" commercials. he directed bad boys, and bad boys 2. he also directed the rock. some of them got good reviews. some got terrible.
what i'm trying to say is that micheal bay doesn't make movies that are supposed to have a complex, deep story... he wants it to be fun and for the people to actually like it.
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How many times have I heard that? I don't expect Chekhov or Shakespeare from action movies but I do expect at least a half-assed effort at a narrative. I love fun movies as much as the next guy but I'm not going to have fun unless I care about what's going on. I just got back from Star Trek and I had a fucking blast. You know why? Because it wasn't just explosions. Buzz words like complex and deep have nothing to do with it.
Michael Bay has made one good film only: The Rock.
well then obviously you are not a fan of transformers. and you know what is funny about star trek.... the writers of transformers, and transformers: revenge of the fallen wrote star trek hahahahaha. and micheal bay is the director, he did not write the movie. transformers is an action movie, but it has to have a simple plot for the kids who are transformers fans. despite that, it still was a great movie in my opinion (and nearly every one elses)
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Which means nothing. Either his work on Star Trek was a fluke or JJ Abrams actually cared about telling his story as opposed to Bay. Writers typically get no respect in Hollywood; their work is vandalized by producers and directors alike. All that matters is what is on-screen.
okay?.... you pretty much said absouletly nothing in your last statement.
JJ Abrams didn't write star trek. Rober Orki and another guy did along with transformers and transformers 2. so you blaming bay for the bad story becuase every one else in hollywood doesn't give the writers credit...? well maybe you should blame the screen writers and not the director?
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Transformers PROVED that Bay cannot make action movies. The F-22's in the movie used AIMRAM's missile are air-to-air and they fired at Megatron who was on the ground. HUGE MISTAKE
Also, the movie was racist, you hear stupid lines like 'this is too smart for Iranians and Chinese' and Arabs portrayed as village desert people, stereotypes.
Sexist, Megan Fox-a-lot, all she does is show off her ass and cleavage, it's Transformers, my mind's not set for arousal which doesn't belong in Transformers
The thing about Transformers is that its one of those film I watch for light entertainment. I don't take it too seriously, it won't provide me with any great insight and it won't challenge my view of the world. The thing about Mark Kermode is that I'll listen to him for light entertainment. I don't take him too seriously, he doesn't provide me with any great insight and he doesn't challenge my view of the world.
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"You have helicopters which turn into robots, robots which turn into cars and sadly what you don't have is director Michael Bay turning into a director who can direct at all"
I think people forget that Transformers is supposed to be mindless trash / robot porn with cheesy presentation. It's how the cartoons were done. Michael Bay, despite being a bad director, gave me exactly what I wanted to see. It's obviously not a great film, but it was great fun to watch.
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Right on! Bayformers sucked so bad. Transformers is not a nerd gets the girl crap! It's supposed to bean awesome amazing badass action movie like Terminator 2, not one of those stupid comic booky cartoony pieces of shit like Spiderman.
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You know what i mean, Michael Bay's horrible depiction of Transformers, so it's not true to the original source material and is a complete reinvention based on a cool series where 'toy marketing' was subtle due to actually giving it a plot and continuity like, and turned into a monotonous actiony movie with bad actors ie Megan Fox who's there for sex appeal because Bay has a boner for her which has NO PLACE in Transformers. Sexed up Transformers, what a prick Bay is.
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Transformers was just like watching a massive tantrum where lots of toys get smashed. Fun I guess, but completeley mindless. Iron man was loads better for robot carnage.
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This sort of review is why the good Doctor is a legend. His point about the masturbation scene in particular is supremely apt, and could apply to just about any Michael Bay film you care to name. Pornographic indeed, in the most literal, dictionary definition, sense.
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Hahaha. Ok. Apart from the fact that every dude in his right mind can see that Megan Fox isnt above 30 (she is well under), and well... she looks damn sexy, so shut the fuck up cranky old geezer whose only "skill" here in life is to comment others peoples work.
(I am saying this without the slightest idea of who this loser is, so dont (DO NOT), reply this whit a "fan-essay" of his life-achievements).
I truly hope that "Fred the internet celebrity" swallows a tampong and dies.
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That's right, wait 20 years and swallow whatever garbage comes out. You have to love the general public's critical faculties.
Fucking hell it is people like that that destroy great franchises, enabling directors like Bay to release such trash and sucking the soul of a large fanbase.
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ig the directors so bad why has he made films which literally sell millions? transformers was one of the biggest films of 2007. surely like most art and culture the success of things derrives from its reception of the audience, which in this case was massive.
mark kermode is a typical critic, he probably couldnt hear what they said in the film because his head was 24 inches up his a**hole.
At least Megan Fox was hot. Any movie that wins an oscar prob has some topless fat disgusting old pig with her sagging tits on the spa. Look at how fat and ugly women are in art if you go into an art museum. No thanks.
robotpanda77 3 weeks ago
Wrong, it's shia the bitch.
Bloodlovefreak 2 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Mark sums up Michael Bay's psychological approach to directing beautifully at 3:03.
I fucking cried with laughter.
bruvvamoff 2 months ago
Comment removed
bruvvamoff 2 months ago
If you grew up with Transformers in the 80's and you liked Michael bay's bullshit movie, you are not a Transformers fan. The original movie with Orson Welles, Leonard Nimoy, Eric Idle and Judd Nelson is the only REAL Transformers movie.
MrHarrylime79 5 months ago
@MrHarrylime79
That is the truth
pronstorestiffi 3 weeks ago
I like Transformers, but I did grow up with it and was crazy bout it as a kid lol, so theres alot of nostalgia there for me. The only thing thats so annoying for me bout this film is the whole teen stuff, it takes up just too much of the damn movie. And Im not mad on Shia either. But the action and how the TF r portrayed in that realistic style, but theres enough of their characters still there that u do recognize them, if u can accept the realistic and Immensely detailed style its done.
RaikenXion 6 months ago
Number 3 is even worse! I can forgive the first two films because expectations were low and I wasnt really expecting to be transported back to my childhood self reading the comics. Which were themselves mostly just ads for the toys (but perhaps pretty classy ads with characters and plots
But I cannot forgive the travesty of the final few minutes NO SPOILERS here just in case you want to watch it yourselves. But be prepared to have your childhood dreams pseudo crushed by a pseudo director. Prat
weavehole 6 months ago
megan fox looks 21
TURBODORK2 8 months ago
so true about megan fox looking like a 30 year old pole dancer.
chanceie12 8 months ago 12
I love that Werner Herzog is in the suggestions, since he's like the Anti-Michael Bay
RockBottomRiser21 8 months ago
This dude hits the nail on the head "Michael Bay is one of the worst directors out there"
LivinWorstNightmare 8 months ago
I think people should understand that the cartoon is all fighting and explosions, the toys well what boy doesnt pretend to blow up things with them, so its a little foolish to assume that the movie would be anything else but what it is. Micheal Bay was the best choice to direct this kind of movie. which is an action flick 100%
ksmiley0 9 months ago
@ksmiley0
But you can make an action film work with a storyline, that's what Michael Bay didn't. Most movies, not all but most movies start with some creative spark somewhere. All michael bay does is shove as much shit on the screen as possible and expect the audience to accept it. When you're young I guess it don't matter but the more matured viewers are more worried about a storyline and something to connect with besides tons of useless action scenes.
LivinWorstNightmare 8 months ago
@LivinWorstNightmare You are right. Story is very important. I personally cant watch it if I pay too much attention especially in revenge of the fallen. I guess I was applauding him for the transformation, no pun intended, of toon/toy action to live action. But, it is truly a story with too many holes or random scenes - but I dont remember the story from any of his movies, so I dont expect to on this one or the 3rd.
ksmiley0 8 months ago
Come on that is funny.
berlinbrown03 9 months ago
I'm liking this guy. But I don't care what he says, I like Transformers. Lots of explosions, fighting robots, nice looking CGI...I'm so easily pleased.
DarkGodCthulhu 9 months ago 2
kermode is a god!!! he sure kicks ass, as they, over ANY other reviewer on planet!!!
hyllaf 9 months ago
i could hear what they were saying but it was garbage and the soldiers with thier us army bravardo. ugh.
megan fox was a high point for shallow reasons. but she doesnt belong in this. a horror flick though but its bastardised vesion of transformers
BRm2008 10 months ago
too many humans. i just wantesd to see robots. i tire dof the humans they were irritating.
BRm2008 10 months ago
Next week, when the big fat gypsy wedding is on, I shall sit and watch all Kermode's reviews on Youtube. This review is more entertaining than the film.
Vindog76 10 months ago
transformers is the worst film of all time and for me sits along Avatar and the star wars trilogy - what do they all have in common - they are some of highest grossing films of all time - these piles of drivel make me so angry
eddywards84 10 months ago
Little did he know it would only get worse with the sequel.
I like searching for Kermode's reviews of awful films because they're so hilarious.
mynameismully 11 months ago
Mark should check out the adaptation of Transformers: The War Within on YouTube, it shows what a Transformers film should be.
Relugus 1 year ago
Kermode is a pompous dick, but agree with him 100% on this
mmscott9 1 year ago
When I first saw it I thought it was the best film of all time.
However, I have recently rewatched it and think it is fine. Not spectacular, but not insulting or horrible like Mark thinks.
lordtufty 1 year ago
2:00 No one can understand! lol
Hellothasauras 1 year ago
I can't hate a man that references "Emanuele and the Last Cannibals" while tearing apart "Transformers."
lovecraft231 1 year ago
he's right. michael bay sucks ass
turkeypue 1 year ago 2
megan fox (tm)
mastershake99999 1 year ago
That guy behind Mark was laughing is ass off at that e-mail.
EvilgidgitReturns 1 year ago
The first transformers was great but the second was pretty shit. I hope the third returns to form.
This is one of the few disagreements that I have with Mark, he is usually spot on!
lordtufty 1 year ago
"Its a popcorn movie" isn't an excuse anymore. Avatar was cliched, cheesy, & unoriginal...but it was polished, well-executed, & well-made.
TF2 was so bad, even Michael Bay & Shia LeBouf admitted it.
TxGearhead 1 year ago 8
also i know all you nerds watch it again and again. keep telling yourself you dont like it. when you clearly jizz to it constantly.
robjames11jimbo 1 year ago
if they are so terrible how come they make billions. hes not trying to make oscar movies. there summer popcorn films idiots. over think everything. oh and how many movies have any of you made!
robjames11jimbo 1 year ago
@robjames11jimbo Prior to Dark Knight, Iron Man, Star Trek, Avatar, I *might* have agreed. They all proved you can make a big-budget movie that's NOT a slapped-together POS.
TxGearhead 1 year ago
@robjames11jimbo You don't need to be a cook to know when something tastes like shit.
Durzel 1 year ago 2
@robjames11jimbo What does 'make an Oscar movie' mean?
I should point out that he has made an Oscar winning movie; Pearl Harbor
reptongeek 1 month ago
Absolute garbage films from the worst director out there
After getting through most of the film, ALL I wanted was a decent tear-up between the two robots at the end... and he couldn't even do that right, it looked like a gymnastic dance-off
ehmazin 1 year ago 2
1) Recreated and updated the experience for a new generation of kiddies who want to dream about epic sci-fi conflicts
2) Added enough substance for former kiddies to enjoy a nostalgic trip without thinking "oh dear, this thing I used to love is actually toy-pushing rubbish."
The film achieves neither by a long shot.
FrogmortonHotchkiss 1 year ago 3
The fight between Optimus and Megatron at the end was fucking limp and WHY DO BORING FUCKING HUMANS HAVE TO GET IN ON EVERY DAMN THING THAT HAPPENS IN THIS FILM!?!?
I DO NOT CARE about Generic Mr G.I. Joe and his generic unkillable buddies; I DO NOT CARE about teenage virgin trying to shag teenage sex-doll in his new car. When you are a kid Transformers seems like this sci-fi kiddie version of The Illiad - the film should have done one or both of 2 things:
FrogmortonHotchkiss 1 year ago 4
Michael Bay isn't THAT bad, because he made one good movie: The Rock. However, I bet that was a fluke.
uadfa 1 year ago
I liked it, disagree with all he said
lordtufty 1 year ago
I fondly remember my Optimus Prime, my Starscream, my Sidewinder, my Bumblebee, my Grapple, my Megatron toys as a kid. I even remember seeing the very first Transformers movie with my dad back in the 80s. However, I actually sat through this film one day when it came on TV, and it was so bad I actually felt nauseous. Suffice it to say I will not be watching the sequels. Michael Bay, JUST GO AWAY!
sulijoo 1 year ago
I liked the first movie. It is stupid and hollow, but also funny and has shit blowing up nicely. It is cotton candy and it is okay with it. The second movie is trying to be more like cotton candy and fails.
bergulme 1 year ago
Wtf is up with that guy's accent? Why is he talking like that
BigBoss7777777 1 year ago
Aesthetics and visuals are the same thing, Mark.
LH270677 1 year ago
@LH270677 They can be.
Sonic asthetics and other asthetics are also asthetics. :)
Guitarsthatkill 1 year ago
Great review, Dr. K....
The uncut review of Revenge of the Fallen, whilst being spot on, had me in absolute stitches. Great work as usual.
Guitarsthatkill 1 year ago
@Guitarsthatkill Perhaps you are right. But would Ian Beale agree with his assertions?
dowling1981 1 year ago
@dowling1981 lolz
Guitarsthatkill 1 year ago
@Guitarsthatkill It is a serious issue, for Ian Beale's input has been overlooked. Doth ye portain thum?
dowling1981 1 year ago
@dowling1981 It has been and its a crime, Goddamn it.
'Cause everybody needs chips...even Mark Kermode.
Guitarsthatkill 1 year ago
@Guitarsthatkill Have you seen thine 'Gran Torino' with Nicholas Witchell?
dowling1981 1 year ago
@dowling1981 Nein. I know not of this Witchell that you speak of...
(But Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood was great though, although overshadowed by Harry Brown, for me.)
Guitarsthatkill 1 year ago
@Guitarsthatkill Is Harry Brown not a completely different kind of film? (I haven't seen Harry Brown btw)
dowling1981 1 year ago
@dowling1981 Both have strong similar themes.
Harry Brown is more gritty, brutal and violent. Its a strong Michael Caine movie.
Guitarsthatkill 1 year ago
@Guitarsthatkill What is Clint Eastwood's role in Harry Brown?
dowling1981 1 year ago
@dowling1981
Hes not in it. Hes in Gran Torino... but if he were in Harry Brown, it would probably be a "pissed off old man who squints at people with great intensity, before doleing out justice" role.
Guitarsthatkill 1 year ago
@Guitarsthatkill Lol, yes he does play that role very well. What was Michael Caine's role in Gran Torino?
dowling1981 1 year ago
@dowling1981 Clint's role, more or less.
Guitarsthatkill 1 year ago
@Guitarsthatkill Have you heard the Gran Torino song by Jamie Cullum?
dowling1981 1 year ago
The first was a let down for most G1 fans and people with IQs above 70.
The second was a letdown for all of humanity.
The third one should by this logic should be the film quality equivalent of the apocalypse.
Guitarsthatkill 1 year ago
@Guitarsthatkill The third film's apocalyptic? And to think Patrick Dempsey and John Malkovich signed up for it.
EvilgidgitReturns 1 year ago
@EvilgidgitReturns And since that they got John Turturro to lower himself in the 1st two movies for the big buck, this is still no seal of quality....
Guitarsthatkill 1 year ago
@EvilgidgitReturns Yeah I guess everyone has their bills to pay...
Guitarsthatkill 1 year ago
"The" Transformers.
TheDensley7 1 year ago
Tranformers II was a pile of michael bay shit. but he somewhere managed to pull off making a great movie with the first one. but i agree with what kermode says about michael bay in general.
holseyd 1 year ago
See I liked this TF movie but hated ROTF and thought precisely this man must direct porn for the next two years to get the 40 year old frat boyishness out of his system before the third movie comes out.
GodOfPlague 1 year ago
I fucking hate Michael bay. he ruined Transformers for me by focusing on the bloody people, why do you need human characters when you are working a plot that contains Sentient Robots?
Oh and don't even get me started on his obsession with the army.
Ngunjiri1 1 year ago 3
THANK YOU. I've been waiting for someone to call this movie out!
NerdilyDone 1 year ago 2
WOOOOOAAAA!!!
skinwalkerxxx 1 year ago
go Kermit , go ! You're the best !
ytertyu 1 year ago
5:18
I raged.
betterthanyification 1 year ago
Define and explain the target audience for Transformers. Imagine a themepark. Imagine a rollercoaster. Now imagine the people in the cars. They go "Woooooooh!" with a tickle in the belly. Now, where's the filmcritic in all of this? Preferably in it, riding it, but also observing the architecture from afar, trying to get the whole picture. In the case of Transformers AS A FILM it's a piece of feaces with an allspark crammed in the middle. Good thing a themepark has different things to try.
bruised247 2 years ago
lol, "he'd be directing porn" I can definitely see that.
simozonelayer 2 years ago 4
Transformers wasn't tha amazing, agree with most of what Kermode said apart from it being too loud
90mv 2 years ago
Mark is a great critic and I've been a fan from way back to his Moviedrome days, but he does have a tendency for climbing up his own arse from time to time....sorry MK fan boys. He's also inconsistent with his points: He says high school musical is good because it does what it says on the tin, yet he slags of a film about action toys for being too loud and having unrealistic characters etc... To me that's double standards.
nookie077 2 years ago
nookie077,
You make an interesting point. But critics are, like the rest of us, often inconsistent.
However, I do think he was reasonably clear that a problem with Transformers was that its loudness made it incomprehensible, and an action film should at least have some level of comprehensibility.
OxTheWriter 2 years ago 2
I love mark, he's the best film critic out there
66633 2 years ago 73
@66633 He really is.
Kotowboy 1 year ago
i hate this guy, he is the most inconsistent critic ive heard, he is an idiot i think he tries to go against the current regardless of whether it is a good movie or not just to be controversial, transformers was an average movie, but its not as bad as he is going on about, i havent heard him say anything good about any new movies that are coming out. he is a burnt out dinosaur and i think he doesnt have long to go, he is so narrow in his perspective...
...cock
xero717 2 years ago
"It has to stop!" - Well, you can't argue with that.
tornhill1 2 years ago 3
I do not get what he means by it has no narrative. It claerly has a narrative. Ok I disagree with him on the review, but I think Michael Bay is picked on by critics as he maked films that are action packed and aimed at a certain audience. If Kermode is not in that target audience, then he will slate Bay's films.
mr1mills 2 years ago
I have watched both Transformer movies, and I have no idea what the plot of either film was supposed to be. These are terrible, incomprehensible non-films.
Jcolinsol 2 years ago 91
@Jcolinsol They are not good films but I had no problem deducing the plot. You must be stupid.
dinosaurssayni 5 months ago
@dinosaurssayni
Ha ha!
Jcolinsol 5 months ago
yea man he has such a narrow perspective and never takes into account of target audience. he is like some sort of nazi critic, in that if the film doesnt cater for a 50 year old dinosaur then it will be slated. i dont think michael bay would be in command of millions of pounds in movie budgets if he was only fit to direct porn like he is saying. God forbid he reviews any films aimed at kids "that thomas the tank engine was a load of bollocks"
xero717 2 years ago
It's a terrible film. If younger people like it, they're fucking stupid.
He's not a Nazi, he's a proper critic. I know that's difficult to understand for someone who doesn't know anything about the Nazis, but stil...
OxTheWriter 2 years ago
retard...
if you dont like something that other people do like than they are stupid... right... good argument...
your the kind of person that the word fandan was invented for.
xero717 2 years ago
Sure thing, and "Nazi" is the first thing you reach for as a neologism for those who disagree with you.
"You're" is the word, not "your." Get some English into your system before you presume to comment to your betters, bitch.
OxTheWriter 2 years ago
haha are you really giving me english lessons on youtube, get a life. and when i said 'nazi' i was loosely commenting on how narrow minded he can be.
your still a retard,
i count that as 2-0 to me, do you want to have another shot?
how was my grammar in that one?... cock...
xero717 2 years ago
You like cock, is that what you're saying, zero?
Keep fuckin' that chicken.
"You're," not "your," by the way. Sorry you haven't gotten the hang of English past the fifth grade.
OxTheWriter 2 years ago
I agree with you so much. The film is good and he is giving a very narrow minded review.
mr1mills 2 years ago
If you bothered to listen to his other reviews, you'd know that's not true. He recently gave Sherlock Holmes a good review, he liked Avatar, and he thought Star Trek was great. This idea that Michael Bay gets a pass because his films are "meant to be entertaining" is bullshit. That's no excuse. You still have to try to tell a good story. You're the only Nazi here since you can't respect a different opinion.
TulseLuper 2 years ago 2
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fuckin brits are so pretentious.
BRm2008 2 years ago
I think there's more of a war going on in this video's comment section than in Transformers.
EvilgidgitReturns 2 years ago 3
Awful awful film. Michael Bay is the worst human being in history, perhaps even worse than Hitler.
RockBottomRiser21 2 years ago
Transformers movies are never gonna be Citizen Kane or whatevr, and theyre never supposed to be, but it is possible to make a perfectly acceptable, loud, fun, action-packed movie that has half a brain- most recent examples i can think of that were 'blockbusters' but were legitmtely good movies are Hellboy 2 and Iron Man- Transformers has nothing on these films- its long and nonsensical. why put so much effort into cgi then not give us a chance to really see it- the action was a mess...
TobeUK 2 years ago
I rented this movie for about a dollar. I couldn't make my way through the whole thing. I tried very hard to tolerate it, but between LaBeouf's annoying patter, the constant quick-cut direction and the silliness of the plot, I just had to check out at about 1 hour and 50 minutes.
If this was aimed at kids, then the filmmakers have a cynical attitude toward the intelligence of children.
JonMGilbertson 2 years ago
To be fair, some people only have very small brains that can't hold much information. These are the people Michael Bay caters for with films like Transformers.
BloodOfRayne 2 years ago
Oh fuck, you again! You're right though.
TheDensley7 2 years ago
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:D Bayformers fanboys are voting poor comments on people who dare speak against their beloved franchise... aww, poor them :I
Still doesn't make the two Transformers films any good, though, IMO.
sunnygirly2k4 2 years ago
Agree mate, they dont no whats good
danxtur 2 years ago
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If you say Transformers are the best film of all time you dont know what a good movie ia about!
If you say it is then your saying It better then: Saving Privat Ryan, The Dark Knight, The Lord Of The Rings, Star Wars the Old trilogy and more!
This move has bad jokes, poor dialog, poor logic, no point and cast is wrong.
But CGI is good and sometimes real, but that those not save the film of being a movie!
danxtur 2 years ago
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hehe, pussyes who gives me negtaiv symbol. the only guys who are saying it's good movie are those who just like it. Yeah, give me a comment losers who likes Tranformers!
danxtur 2 years ago
You might be getting thumb downs because all of the so called best films of all time you mentioned in your comment have a sort of hollywood, blockbustery kinda thing going on. Maybe you should broaden your horizons a little and watch some more varied movies.
hippotoast 2 years ago 2
That's not why do movie did not work.
I has poor logic, overdone or poor acting for the role (but only Michael Bays falt), and there is alot of wrong things in this movie that those not work for those who "has" a cloue for what a real good movie is.
But realy I am not bother, the ones who should see alot more movies are those who hail Transformes for Classic or more.
PS: I Wacth alot of varieted movies
danxtur 2 years ago
Normally, I like Kermode. I think he's a brilliant critic who knows his stuff. But I can't take him seriously here.
To say he "literally" cannot hear anything anyone is saying kinda ruins his credibility. I've watched this movie three or four times now (including a cinema viewing). I've never had a problem with hearing any of the dialogue.
Yes, it's loud, and if he wants to make that point then fair enough. But to use the word "literally" in order to make that point is very silly indeed.
Poinsettia222 2 years ago 7
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Hey, you can watch the new transformer movie online at WatchNewTransformers [dot ]com check it out...
LOOOL?
annalouise368 2 years ago
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Honestly, I enjoyed Revenge of the Fallen (mainly for the serious world-crushing elements and the mythology played out during Sam's journey), but I'm not brainwashed by Bay's adolescent comedy antics like the other yankie-doodle dickheads who laugh at the sight of racist characters like Mud and Skids.
This movie is utter shite, no plot, no good scenes, no good drama. Anyone suckered into this is a gobshite with no brain
HeyArnoldsspleen 2 years ago
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Whoa. He was this harsh on the first one. Good on him. I couldn't even finish the first. Can't wait for him to smash the second.
IAmThePartyCrasher 2 years ago
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yeah, he has. he did it last Friday.
nogginzinc 2 years ago
Everything he has had to say about the Transformers movie is correct. Michael Bay is an awful director and the movie only exists to generate money and promote the toys therefore generating more money and also to promote every other product that is shamelessly placed in the movie. His Transformers 2 review on Kermode Uncut pretty much says it all, so to speak.
petertyson2 2 years ago
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sometimes kermode doesn't know the meaning of fun. and when he gets self righteous about the t&a..it gets rather sad. sometimes he sounds so out of touch..like the cranky oldsters who cried foul at the rock and roll corrupting the youth.
omgwtfbbqstfu 2 years ago
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i think the film is great and Kermode is a cunt... check out his review for Watchmen,, its like he had not even seen it..
Bateman666666 2 years ago
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He's right, and that film sucked too.
TheSilhouette 2 years ago
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I used to respect Kermode as a reviewer but after watchin this he can go to hell! So he was shoutin to his mate durin the film,mmh doubt it he wld have been chucked out and that u cnt hear the actors talk, more crap! Go and watch sme crap period piece Kermode you twat!
UncleKirky 2 years ago
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His Transformers 2 review from earlier today was the most honest film review i've ever seen. That's why Film 2009 with Mark Kermode doesn't exist.
RobohX360 2 years ago
Can't wait for him to rant about it's sequel: RoTF. I just watched the film again, and I agree with him that it's a bad film - bad acting, stereotyped and one-dimentional characterisation, undeveloped plot and conflict between the two races of robots, frenetic and annoying editing, cliched romance, cheesy dialogue and it's too long by about 15-30 mins.
Also, despite having 7 action scenes, they all lacked dramatic tension - even The Day After Tomorrow had that in it's first half!
sunnygirly2k4 2 years ago
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Bay is pathetic, someone stop him.
KingLukas00 2 years ago
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the funny thing is the editing preventing you from actually enjoying the special effects...you simply couldn't focus on the machines long enough...i sat next to a twelve year old boy who kept fidgeting and hassling his mum to leave
kingeric77 2 years ago
This IS his Kermode at his funniest
Raymint 2 years ago
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Kermode is 100% correct about Michael Bay.
PunksInVegas 2 years ago
This review was probably more entertaining than the actual film :P!
hanshotfirst1138 2 years ago
YES! You're so right.
Raymint 2 years ago
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It wasn't his birthday...he got the car because he got 3 A's.... Did he pay attention to the movie?
NiceGuyKeath 2 years ago
It wouldn't be a good action film if you came out being able to hear and think. I liked it.
Gaalsien 2 years ago
i dont think this guy likes action movies orsuper hero ones.
troyh2012 2 years ago
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Wow, I agree, films like this should never have been made, lame excuse for a film. It makes Pirates of the C seem good.
ghostmanlostsoul 2 years ago
lightsanime: are not exactly judging them, they are just stating that the iranian scientists these days are just not very well educated. the fact that you tried to pull the race card clearly states that your african american, indian etc. your are using the race card as a cruch.
also, if bay is such a bad action movie director than why is he the only director who has access to the pentagon? and the reason they put megan fox in is too draw more viewers then just kids. it was a smart move.
troyh2012 2 years ago
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I didn't realize the Pentagon were known for their taste in filmmakers. I wonder what would happen if Roger Ebert became President as well...
Michael Bay is good at one thing and one thing only: Blowing shit up. If you want a good action movie director, go to James Cameron. At least he can string a decent story together.
TulseLuper 2 years ago
that's you're opinion.
micheal bay created the famous "got milk" commercials. he directed bad boys, and bad boys 2. he also directed the rock. some of them got good reviews. some got terrible.
what i'm trying to say is that micheal bay doesn't make movies that are supposed to have a complex, deep story... he wants it to be fun and for the people to actually like it.
troyh2012 2 years ago
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How many times have I heard that? I don't expect Chekhov or Shakespeare from action movies but I do expect at least a half-assed effort at a narrative. I love fun movies as much as the next guy but I'm not going to have fun unless I care about what's going on. I just got back from Star Trek and I had a fucking blast. You know why? Because it wasn't just explosions. Buzz words like complex and deep have nothing to do with it.
Michael Bay has made one good film only: The Rock.
TulseLuper 2 years ago
well then obviously you are not a fan of transformers. and you know what is funny about star trek.... the writers of transformers, and transformers: revenge of the fallen wrote star trek hahahahaha. and micheal bay is the director, he did not write the movie. transformers is an action movie, but it has to have a simple plot for the kids who are transformers fans. despite that, it still was a great movie in my opinion (and nearly every one elses)
troyh2012 2 years ago
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Which means nothing. Either his work on Star Trek was a fluke or JJ Abrams actually cared about telling his story as opposed to Bay. Writers typically get no respect in Hollywood; their work is vandalized by producers and directors alike. All that matters is what is on-screen.
TulseLuper 2 years ago
okay?.... you pretty much said absouletly nothing in your last statement.
JJ Abrams didn't write star trek. Rober Orki and another guy did along with transformers and transformers 2. so you blaming bay for the bad story becuase every one else in hollywood doesn't give the writers credit...? well maybe you should blame the screen writers and not the director?
troyh2012 2 years ago 2
I like the movie, but this is a really funny review.
THEHowellmanIsBack 3 years ago
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Does anyone want to see Kermode VS Bay Celebrity boxing? - I know i do. . .
Barn0 3 years ago
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Transformers PROVED that Bay cannot make action movies. The F-22's in the movie used AIMRAM's missile are air-to-air and they fired at Megatron who was on the ground. HUGE MISTAKE
Also, the movie was racist, you hear stupid lines like 'this is too smart for Iranians and Chinese' and Arabs portrayed as village desert people, stereotypes.
Sexist, Megan Fox-a-lot, all she does is show off her ass and cleavage, it's Transformers, my mind's not set for arousal which doesn't belong in Transformers
lightsanime 3 years ago
The thing about Transformers is that its one of those film I watch for light entertainment. I don't take it too seriously, it won't provide me with any great insight and it won't challenge my view of the world. The thing about Mark Kermode is that I'll listen to him for light entertainment. I don't take him too seriously, he doesn't provide me with any great insight and he doesn't challenge my view of the world.
QT5656 3 years ago
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Transformers kicked ass it was awesome!!
redranger241 3 years ago 24
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It's a film based on a series of toys, exactly what was anyone expecting?
Michael Bay set out to make a fun and entertaining movie, and succeeded.
Gyropitus 3 years ago
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"You have helicopters which turn into robots, robots which turn into cars and sadly what you don't have is director Michael Bay turning into a director who can direct at all"
HAHAHAHA. Brilliant. Mark Kermode is the best!
friday13th1 3 years ago
I think people forget that Transformers is supposed to be mindless trash / robot porn with cheesy presentation. It's how the cartoons were done. Michael Bay, despite being a bad director, gave me exactly what I wanted to see. It's obviously not a great film, but it was great fun to watch.
ElRussoUK 3 years ago
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Right on! Bayformers sucked so bad. Transformers is not a nerd gets the girl crap! It's supposed to bean awesome amazing badass action movie like Terminator 2, not one of those stupid comic booky cartoony pieces of shit like Spiderman.
lightsanime 3 years ago
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The name of the movie is Transformers, not Bayformers.
redrabbitjohnson 3 years ago
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You know what i mean, Michael Bay's horrible depiction of Transformers, so it's not true to the original source material and is a complete reinvention based on a cool series where 'toy marketing' was subtle due to actually giving it a plot and continuity like, and turned into a monotonous actiony movie with bad actors ie Megan Fox who's there for sex appeal because Bay has a boner for her which has NO PLACE in Transformers. Sexed up Transformers, what a prick Bay is.
lightsanime 3 years ago
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Transformers was just like watching a massive tantrum where lots of toys get smashed. Fun I guess, but completeley mindless. Iron man was loads better for robot carnage.
jamesjenko 3 years ago
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spot on analysis. Michael Bay is the anti-christ.
pbl1 3 years ago
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i don't mind summer blockbusters if they're done well, but i agree 100% with the doctor on this one.
RobohX360 3 years ago
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This sort of review is why the good Doctor is a legend. His point about the masturbation scene in particular is supremely apt, and could apply to just about any Michael Bay film you care to name. Pornographic indeed, in the most literal, dictionary definition, sense.
verbaluk1 3 years ago
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Hahaha. Ok. Apart from the fact that every dude in his right mind can see that Megan Fox isnt above 30 (she is well under), and well... she looks damn sexy, so shut the fuck up cranky old geezer whose only "skill" here in life is to comment others peoples work.
(I am saying this without the slightest idea of who this loser is, so dont (DO NOT), reply this whit a "fan-essay" of his life-achievements).
I truly hope that "Fred the internet celebrity" swallows a tampong and dies.
Peace out.
Jogu7083 3 years ago
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Good Rant. He Sounds Like A Yank Though. Going On About Nothing At All.
:) English.
MasterOfTheTrance 3 years ago
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That's right, wait 20 years and swallow whatever garbage comes out. You have to love the general public's critical faculties.
Fucking hell it is people like that that destroy great franchises, enabling directors like Bay to release such trash and sucking the soul of a large fanbase.
Treblaine 3 years ago
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what does he say at 4:35? "big discussion of..."
Snarg3000 3 years ago
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he says onanism:
Definitions of onanism on the Web: * masturbation: manual stimulation of the genital organs (of yourself or another) for sexual pleasure
mferrusca 3 years ago
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nice.
ok, thanks.
Snarg3000 3 years ago
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Herr doktor at his best.
jimmyteg 3 years ago
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Brilliant rant.
JonniR 3 years ago
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Poor Mark Kermode. Sounds like he's just getting old and can't stand a bit of noise in a film.
Did Michael Bay turn you down for a "smarmy british cunt" role or something?
sexualvodka 3 years ago
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Ahahahaha! 3:00 onwards is the greatest rant ever. Brilliant stuff Kermode!
shaggyalonso 3 years ago
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ig the directors so bad why has he made films which literally sell millions? transformers was one of the biggest films of 2007. surely like most art and culture the success of things derrives from its reception of the audience, which in this case was massive.
mark kermode is a typical critic, he probably couldnt hear what they said in the film because his head was 24 inches up his a**hole.
;)
jezhughes 3 years ago
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goddam michael bay
EyEnOtgAy 3 years ago
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Box office should never, ever be an indicator for quality of film.
SandorClegane 3 years ago