Re: 10 things that no one has ever said before!

[maxjovine]

As the tender saxophones of winter march into the abyss, cobble thee thine twine! yet mischief boils beyond the making... oh beauty! oh chaff! mine horrors wobble from the waters afar... fast aside and repeat.

[kokomanen]

I love cows mainly because sandwiches dont have the same sense of humor that the guy who created coca-cola had.

[vRohaDriiC]

The only wierd part whith part one was "No cheese"

[C00k13g1rl]

@syonn408 and PEANUT BUTTER!

[toads10]

The whole thing sounds like a Beatles song

[l3mm1w1nk5]

Sometimes in the day when you are all out of chips a cat can come to jump on a pancake in front of you leading to cranberry sauce and scientific abominations having constipated honey badgers lead out the trail of the missing headphone playing capillary bacon strips...

[pekitivey]

Somtimes the man under my bed says funny things and my cat laughed so hard at said funny things that he farted, then i started laughing..................haha­hhaa get it?

[MrPatranthony]

did you know that if you drink lemonade while farting out peanuts you will turn into a piece of ham that gets eaten by shakira.

[syonn408]

How will everything stick together if theres no cheese?

[C00k13g1rl]

@syonn408 use the bug guts and rain!

[mcluigi117]

Time LINE? Time isn't made out of lines! It is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round!

Oh wait, that's been said before.

Darn :(

[mcluigi117]

I'm pretty sure the sky is actually a square, circular button that will turn on Harry Potter's face.

[stewiegriffin987]

I always ask for #1, @1:20, when I go to McDonald's.

[chloejohnstonxo]

You are too high my friend

[kellierenshaw]

I think I just found a new favourite youtuber! :D

[2oo81996]

This is quite inocent but the air of the brother in space of time is losing change to the ever last toilet paper wich spawns at the end of the cloud vortex wich actuily expands timeits self.

[2oo81996]

Well this is all too interesting but what i think is that the ton of tooth brushes lie on the bottomless pit of the loly pop in the back of the bin tree. Loother

[charlottespeck]

this is the best

[soulwraithz]

i said that last one... :P

[Richinator2000]

Number 7 WIN!

[chriscooke109]

I went fishing for fat people at the butter pond with my two trusty pet napkins, and also took some dildo sandwiches to drink afterwards.

[metalmillita666]

nice danelectro in the backround

[higraffdenstore]

You do remind me of Brett The Intern in this one!

[teedonster]

a white guy with an afro, yaaay im not alone!

[1gamesforyou]

did you know that you can get brain cancer situated on your belly below your nose can make you blow up your finger number 14 above your middle eye that is full of cactus pieces with no spikes on a sauce? its tragic :o

[TungstenLion]

Pffft this is nothing. Im the king at random sentences

[metalxxman]

i once got high and told someone they looked like a loose frodo? idk i was muffed up haha

[anniehorselover]

HAHAHA! Oh, this is priceless.

[Gangsta4life235]

u jewish fag i will burn u in an oven stop fucking talking or i will jizz in ur jew frow im related to hitler i will fuck ur brother it will happen and ur dad cause hes dilf

[Trueloveandgrace]

BABAHAHAHAHA

[BettaScream]

LOL That was random! Nice tags. XD

[halomast99]

 AN OMELET WITHOUT CHEESE!!!

[wordmann41]

I fuck cabbages nearly everyday. haha. AND I'm thinking about writing that last one down.. and asking for that at like.. mcdonalds or some shit, that's clever. (:

[fat09]

I once owned a bald termite, a tooth snake, and a 7 eyed butt-squid that consumed cat nip from the anus.

[wordmann41]

@fat09 dude.. consuming catnip from the anus. that's surely a skill I've yet to master. lol.

[kaykayboy23]

i wrote down everything in #1 went to a breakfast restaurant in st. louis and guess wat they gave me an omlet with broccoi made wuth coffee powder. with a side of salt and ice funny thing is they told me if i eat and drink everything i would have to pay .lets just say i thats where i lost my wallet

[motorxrules1]

endubitably

[tiggerbiggo]

my computer exploded into the night with a million broken spoons into a cabbage full of gloves. The end.

[Mooybooy123]

All except #1 were really stupid, but I almost peed my pants lauging at 1, I was crying.

[Lobostar30]

My pet anglerfish had an affair with the neighbor who happened to have a rare disease that made their penis grow to the size of th ancestors of a perverted rhino!

[PrioFreeze]

My shoe is the surface of a westward rhino with malaria which lives in Antarctica living off of old ketchup tubes and the scraping of my liver whose name was once candy fresh

[IssyRedbird]

My mom told your mom that bills mom said that Jane's mom told Tommy's mom who said that Darren's Mom told Steve's mom who asked Annie's mom who told me to tell you this....Hi. XD

[rhysvanhouten746]

bob snotty had a litte friend klocker who had a little pet whose name was joseph who had a pet buttrock whose name was bob snotty.

[lakers858]

hey heres one that no one says........

"This video is funny"

[chicken090617]

everything was gay besides #1

im faded and that shit was hilarious

[cruxtpunk]

fuckin virgin...

[Dustinavollmar]

mmmm now im hungry lol

[frenchienofrog]

My pet catnip struggles three times a day to be friends with a deadly angel-possed pillow.

[gitboogy]

this is really funny...........no wait its fucking terrible

[ShilonkleDinger69]

@gitboogy

HAHAH

agree

[Inclima11]

I'm friends with a terrorist named steve who loves to pet milk sandwiches

[JoeFelice]

Nice!

[ACWWFreak96]

ive actually said somthing like No.1 before.

[outlaw2007]

You fuck cabbages?

[JoeFelice]

You don't?

[Zillamp3z]

lol.

[mikeyiscool198]

haahahahaha nice

[MrDragontamer2009]

That was funny. Farted out a church of replacement doughnuts. ROFL

[Niklasblackboy]

No cheese :P

I won

[IMRezpected]

another thing no one has said and is shorter "can i get an omelet with no eggs please."

[reameess]

Nice one >D

[BrandiTyler]

XD Oh my God this is hillarious I'm going to share this with Myspace and Twitter XD lol that was AWESOME!!!

[aineb100]

you sound like the penguins out of madagascar =]

[soccercrazed43]

NO CHEESE

[Tudusciuc]

No cheese :)))

[StupidWhoreCookies]

LMFAO!.... with no cheese

[Kounteron]

why didnt you put it up on 4/20 wouldve gotten more views :D

[TotalPackage8]

DUDE!!! You are trippy as fuck to watch when im High

[JoeFelice]

Well if you're still high you should watch my very early video called "Alien Life?"

[DasKlauer]

worddddddd haha

[capricorngemini]

sounds like a good omelet.

[poopyscoopy5]

Cut the Jew Fro Cut the Jew Fro Get the rat's nest off your head Get that crazy-ass mother off your skull Take your ass to the barber shop Tell the barber that you're sick of looking like an asshole Cut the Jew Fro Cut the Jew fro The jew fro is the reason why people hate you They are sick of looking at your nappy weed-sack Nobody wants to look at you with that jew fro on your head Why don't you cut that jew fro, you numbskull

[iPr0sKii]

im so high and so confused but i love it

[JrooBee]

Frikin awesomeness!!! Still working on my own response! Stay tuned to the JrooBee channel for more!

[JoeFelice]

Can't wait

[Elkins2424]

id love to get drunk with this guy he would be effing hilarious!

[TheSupermantube]

not really funny just something no one would say lol

[AllTimeChicks]

lol

[doomyman7]

He sooo not Vulgar.

[TheJoshAmbrose]

Arent you that bad guy from home alone? you know joe pesci's sidekick.

[JoeFelice]

Nice! I usually get Screech. I don't think I've been called Daniel Stern before. He was the voice in The Wonder Years too.

[YUBETUBER5647]

yea, you look like screech, you actlike hiom too!!NICE

[ThatMaeGirl]

This was awsome xD lol

[sxfghj12345]

humpety dumpety sat on your mom and out of the blue, he fell up then down and your mom got pregnant! thanks for listening to the story of how you were made!!!!!!!!! goodbye children

[CoffeehouseSchmuck]

what ever is worth doing is worth overdoing

[sxfghj12345]

mythbusters rule

[jjck69]

dude you actualy should do standup

[jasonk1987bunny]

I enjoy listening to NASCAR on the radio.

Okay, maybe it has been said before, but not by anyone whose pregnant wife doesn't have a black eye, whose IQ is over 75, or who wasn't on salvia.

[staticfreaker]

the fat credit card keeps asking for the telephone to call the bunny for a game of yatzee on a saturday night with a bucket of rum

[Obutterfingers]

The funky chunky hair channel moved to the bears ass to fetch for teasing combs for the emo girl.

[Buriedmyselfalivex]

Aw man, that was awesome.

[rtruss40]

My blow up doll is a lesbian and keeps calling me Palin

[Nora34230]

skittles,....

[edlives33]

for #1..."uh, sir...we're outta cheeze"

[palmina77italiana]

Dew ya wawnt frad potata hornets wit dat? *hawking a loogie* ;-)

[regardsfrom]

prozac anyone?

[Smartassawhip]

You're hotter than a goats ass in a pepper patch.

[midnightmoon00]

Smile he's a phedophile

[GeneralGuy50]

I need a a peanut butter sandwich to get a motorcycle drunk so I can put stickers on a dogs face.

[fortress1998]

this is so random

[itseasybeezy]

i ordered that omelet. it was delicious

[mrcuba562]

You should get an axe break your pc with it dont post anymore videos please your not funny at all you faggot

[Kachavite]

LMAO ! funny !

[123celindion]

Hey dicknipple! Diid you know that the average male cannot dryhump a loofa while taking a bath in Arizona? That makes me lucky!

[coolguy39999]

ur mom chopped off ur litt\

[coweeter]

i've actually said 6, and most of 1 but with cheese

[jordochick12]

mg me and my best bud chance just watched it ....... YOUR SOOOOOO FUNNY! i like yours way better than ed's ♥

[zippyzed]

I'm pretty sure I heard number 3 in an Australian bar way in the outback.

[LaurenPeak9U]

lol how long did it take you to remember the last one???

[MrDeppness]

You really took a far step off the deep end with this one.

[killath303]

Wonderful banana sheep flying cake clouds with delightful monkies.

[ABR0733]

ive actually said number to before

[Hallin14]

I actually used that last sentence 3 months ago

[SwEeTxxOLiViA]

that was awesome!

ily joe!

[malkrow21]

when I watch Youtube videos, my brain dicks are being penentrated by sweet love of honey and the hamsters dancing on a crimson sun.

[JoeFelice]

Can I quote you on that?

[joeyh31]

hey Joe I know you talk about politics but you should make a video clearing up what swine flu is

[hosscat74]

hahahaha that is soooo awesome! i laughed sooo hard. now im gonna go pack one more bowl.

[Laucorleone]

Okay.. ? 0_0

[ShutupDiamond]

The omelet one had me cracking up for a good two minutes after this video had even ended =]

[JoeFelice]

Awesome!

Next time I get a comment that says "I want my two minutes back!" I'll tell them you got it.

[malkrow21]

with a 2 second bonus, as well!

[oddballmatt]

joe felice i think u may be wrong about that # 1 im sure people order that omelette in plenty of 3rd world countries all the time... and # 2 is my new pickup line! lol Dude its STONERHUMOR from the nyc youtube gathering. i was with hemijeep19! REMEMBER ME?

[JoeFelice]

Haha, I remember you

[HAPPYxBANANAxCAKES34]

no making sense sucks the amish cow wrangling butt doodle cubes even assist on a rainy evening west angling ocean empanada

[sharinganclan213]

do u want avocado on ur omlet?

[JoeFelice]

I want abogado. A Spanish lawyer.

[quantumscape]

Is it possible to be original and make sense?

[JoeFelice]

Definitely. It might take more than one sentence.

[whoachica]

kind of reminds me of a chat I had with a homeless guy a while back. lol. How do you do that? Does that random stuff just pop into your head? I can think random, but not crazy!!!

[Azzaiel]

very true

[Beaumagnus]

I say #2 all the time, liar.

[JoeFelice]

Did it ever pay off???

[Beaumagnus]

It works best on women that are into roleplaying and Sci-Fi. WARNING: Make sure she does not have nails before the incubation process begins. "Delirious honey fluffs" tend to leave vicious claw marks.

[gillespieunit213]

6 totally happens to people on acid.

[zero9370]

Did you get ditracted.... cuz you were high?? hahahha Love you,, holl-er

[trapt12]

boo

[revees391]

hahahaha the jews hahah

[prinssegvsu]

who gets an omelet with no cheese?

[JoeFelice]

thejews

[heyitsdanyarly]

honey fluff :D

[onerpone]

ITS OFFICIAL!!! I now despise Barack Obama more than George W. Bush.1 He refuses to appoint a special prosecutor to punish Bush for his illegal WIRE TAPPING and TORTURING ways.2 He's kissing the asses of 2 bit DICTATORS like Castro and Chavez ,the only thing to come of this is more OUTSOURCING,CHEAP LABOR, and more LOST AMERICAN JOBS.3 He wants to legalize 20 million illegal aliens when millions of Americans can't find work as it is. I can't believe i voted for this " Articulate" LYING HACK.

[Gallopingsquirrels]

4. He chooses to allow abortion, deliberate killing of 46,000,000 innocent lives.

[tickleyourfancyxx]

#1 is amazing and so are yoou !!!

[sterginep24]

I loved this. LOLOL! #3 was hilarious "step three we're working on step three, step four...one million cars." lollol

[booya62056]

lol

[uiluj13]

i think i heard someone said #2 b4 but i don't really remember.....

[xSamanthaNicole]

so funny Joe! I really liked 2 and 1 hahaha

[CrazyboyLA]

ok I'm sorry joe dont chop my head off, but that Nemo fish looks cute......oh boy thats a nasty omelet that might end up looking like it made with vomit...lol nice video

[tworadley]

How could you possibly have been distracted on 4/20, Joe???

[clankdud]

the worlds largest rodents belly fur FTW.

[Aqueries44]

3 was best.

[dakarges]

hahahaha nice video dude. got a good laugh out of #2.

[6663000]

That man has fewer teeth than a transexual gold prospector.

[0K1mberly]

number one... I've said that... except i wanted cheese... fine! you win! =( lol Awesome video joe!

[annabagel4]

3 was hilarious.

Same with 1. Capybara belly fur? x] Where do you come up with this stuff?

[alozavour]

I never knew Im gonna see such a retarded person in my life... congratulations you win

[crazyangel4300]

I cringed the whole time...........it was funny but disturbing!

[JoeFelice]

Perfect.

[GraniteWhip]

Rofl @ the last one made me LOL irl haha

[rekojehtmai]

I shit in the bowl full of dandelions and sunflower seeds

[JoeFelice]

Never said that one before!

Because it was a secret.

[SKiTzShow]

Should I have ingested or inhaled some illegal substance prior to watching this?

[JoeFelice]

Yes. Lead paint.

[skinc1989]

i like yours better

[funkkychickken]

no cheese...

[ianhoppe]

awesome concept.

I especially liked your permutation explaination below.

if you can, you should include it in the description box.

props boyo!

[manicattack08]

I don't know. I'm pretty sure I used #2 to pick up a girl before.

The plan backfired when she pulled out an actual delirious honey fluff incubator.

On the plus side, it was the best man-on-machine sex ever!

[beros1234]

I lol'd

[willxcxb]

...NO cheese

[JediKenobix]

DAMNIT you should have put this up on 4/20 would have been epic

[aroneous]

Bravo. very well done. doing that without edits didn't go unnoticed. I'd like to see half the front page d bags produce a quarter of that talent just once. they were all funny, but I think my favorite was 3. great video.

[whitenailsnguitars]

lmao. Three through one were AMAZING! LOL!

[skettcharmstrong]

I totally would've ordered number one on 4/20! If you know what I mean. What a crazy holiday.

[Kane040]

So if you try to think of things that no one has ever said before, isn't there a chance that others have thought the same thing, and there being less things that no one has said before than things that have been said, wouldn't there be a high chance that out of the few things that no one has said before, that they actually have said them at some point? Sorry I'm bored.

[JoeFelice]

It's easier than you think!

If everyone who ever lived (100B) had the same vocabulary of just 500 words, and 200 times a day, for 100 years each, they said a brand new sentence that was 7 words long, we would still only be about 10% of the way through all the things you could say.

And that scenario's unrealistic at every turn. So chances are extremely high that no person, or goblin, has said this sentence before.

[Silentbutdeadly07]

lol, that was great!! Very creative, Joe. lol

[onerpone]

ITS OFFICIAL!!! I now despise Barack Obama more than George W. Bush.1 He refuses to appoint a special prosecutor to punish Bush for his illegal WIRE TAPPING and TORTURING ways.2 He's kissing the asses of 2 bit DICTATORS like Castro and Chavez ,the only thing to come of this is more OUTSOURCING,CHEAP LABOR, and more LOST AMERICAN JOBS.3 He wants to legalize 20 million illegal aliens when millions of Americans can't find work as it is. I can't believe i voted for this " Articulate" LYING HACK.