This retarded stone age thinking cunt would get booed in England,only in America huh!!! People applauding some cunt bigging up supernatural crap.Fucking glad the pretend bearded one 'chose' America a couple of hundred years ago and not us.Scary,fucking scary.
@koakrew23 That makes virtually no sense. Watching it doesn't mean I love him, it means I try things before formulating an opinion. Assuming that even what you meant, deciphering that isn't easy,
@Ralph12344 that newton's theories are: as stepping stones. that being said, i have never seen one of his theories demonstrated to suggest there was ever a time before atoms existed. there are proposed ideas as to how atoms may have formed in the earlier times of the universe's cylce in which we live, but regardless, what you have still failed to do is conclusively link your personal god with any physical phenomena. not by any stretch of the imagination. it simply can't be done.
@Ralph12344 atoms can't be created naturally, as far as we know. how does that prove that the one and only god from the bible is the reason for atoms? couldn't any other religion's god be responsible? or couldn't it be an energetic occurence for which the conditions have not been adequate in our brief periods of human observance and theoretical calculations? i've studied einstein pretty extensively, and although there's no way to say his theories are outdated, they are useful in the same sense
he didnt mean that his soul is transferred into a tree. also assuming that is what went on in cooks head then he just said how he wanted to brutally murder someone and forcibly print his doctrine on him.
I am Atheist and I found this hilarious,I would have laughed at the dude, now just cause I dont believe doesnt mean I would do what that dude did cause I respect others beliefs, so any Christians who read this PLEASE don't send me no messages or response to this cause i really don't want to have no debates, I was raised to believe in God but lost my faith and I will leave it at that!
@TWFsbeast Amen! Oh I mean, I totally agree with you bro, many people on youtube get offended to easily. Other Dane Cook Atheist videos got a lot of dislikes and hate comments. It's part of jokes. Something some people can't handle.
@Rudyisawesome1 it's not opinion, it's fact, based on hard data. i have to spoon feed you links because you can't google search the study yourself, and you can't cite sources without me providing a link to mine first. (foxnews.com/us/2011/03/23/losing-religion-study-finds-religion-extinct-parts-world/) it's not my little study, it's two universities studies. i don't just make this stuff up man, as you seem to do.
@thejustineaster There is a fair amount of proof actually. There is the fact that (from fairly recent discoveries) that atoms can be created and destroyed with destroyed being defined as completely destroyed, there are certain theories and formulas from Einstein, and also certain laws involving dark matter. If you doubt any of these I can provide you with the links.
@Ralph12344 oh no i don't doubt those things. i, like many atheists, tend to dabble in physics. what i doubt is that you can show how those "laws" (they're actually theories, not laws) prove the existence of god. but not just the ambiguous title, "god," but the actual anthropromorphized scriptural god of whatever your religion is. there's proof that we don't know everything, but christians can't grasp that it takes a colossal leap of logic to say "dark matter and destroyed atoms... thus, god!"
@thejustineaster I am not focusing on the fact that atoms can be destroyed, but on the fact that atoms can be created but not created naturally. Some of Einstein's theories also suggest (if I remember correctly) that there may have been a time before atoms existed..
I don’t find this offensive or anything, but it's terribly annoying to see that anyone yell and can make stupid noises while beating a joke into the ground, and still get enormous applause just for establishing that they’re Christian.
@physphilmusic As long as people fear not existing anymore in any form once death knocks on their door, their will always beliefs in imaginary afterlives, most of those involve religion.
ahteists are condescending douches just like the guy he talks about, also why do atheists even care, if religion is wrong nothing happens, if atheists are wrong you go to hell, good luck
@meekal30 Because it costs the taxpayers millions of dollars that should be coming from the richest organizations on the face of the earth, such as the church. Not only this but it has bars us from politics; according to polls less than half of america would vote for an atheist, even if he agreed with them on EVERY ISSUE. Yet atheists make up the majority of the intelligentsia and ought to be more qualified than those who devote their lives to magical books and space wizards.
@kenscottmaclean1 Wow, you believe the bible.....is a magical book related to space wizards......well now I know why you don't believe, lol. Im not catholic, christian actually, and yeah, I admit I don't have as much information as you, about politics, taxpayers, and probably not as intelligent as you concluded about the atheists being a huge majority of intelligence. But "We don't need to understand to have faith, we just need to have faith in order to understand".
@Jericho11894 i wish it were just a ridiculous fairy tale, but it's a ridiculous fairy tale that has caused millions to murder each other and spreads a message that says shaving and gossip should be punished by death, while raping a woman is punished by a fine. Also the "faith in order to understand" bit is different, every idea we haven't proven is waiting for proof, whether for or against it. If one theory proves incorrect we don't start a fucking war we figure out why. that is the difference.
@kenscottmaclean1 Wow, alot a negative stuff here, lol. Again not being rude, but don't people usually kill eachother anyway by their "own understanding", rather than by "Gods understanding". Anyway, as I said I admit I may not be well informed as you, plus, the "faith in order to understand" part, isn't a bit different, it just seems different to you because that's your own "human understanding", by pride & ego, rather than by God.
@kenscottmaclean1 I also the history of some religious fights about certain situations, like how the crusaders abused Gods name in order to achieve power, but were those really people of God. I know of what you say about people killing people for stupid reasons is somewhat true, but that's why we learn from the past. Anyway, I don't think you can see my point because your cup is already full, so i'll just pray for you, and hope God will take care of it. GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
@Jericho11894 don't strain yourself with all that praying. The teachings of your god are mostly about murder. The things that book says; Kill a woman if she isn't a virgin on her wedding day, kill anyone who wheres a shirt of two different fibers, kill a woman who tries to teach a man, Shave the hair of a woman that shows it whilst praying, Kill a person if they swear they will do something, kill a man if he says "god" with a shitty attitude, kill a man if he eats lobster or pork...
@Jericho11894 kill a farmer who puts two seeds in one harvest, kill a man who curses, kill a man who touches the skin of a pig. Note that slavery is not on the list, it's encouraged by the bible, under the condition that even as slaves women aren't to be equal to the men.
Remember these teachings of your kind and benevolent lord of creation as you pray, and remember he has to power to end world hunger, to cure cancer, to fix everything wrong in the world; but doesn't.
evidently he didn't understand the tree reference.
He is saying he is going to rot in the ground like every other dead thing, and one day a tree will use his nutrients to grow. Cook seems content to confuse nutrients and the "soul" (the imaginary thing you blame for consciousness)
@CaptianComment same here Im Atheist and this was hilarious I would have laughed at this dude, I will become a Red Wood Tree but the dumb ass he talked to will become a Ficus lol
@TWFsbeast Haha I'm hoping to be a Samurai. But whenever I see a ficus, I'll silently be laughing at that ficus... (silently because samurais don't show emotion)
So the man wants to contribute in death the only way he can by hopefully becoming a tree, and you want to chop him up make another nonsense book? How very christian of you.
Why do people feel the need to say "bless you" only when you sneeze, and not when you cough, burp, or fart? If the guy had coughed in Dane Cooks face, he wouldn't have a joke, and I doubt Mr. Cook would have turned into an ambassador of his God, but would have "gone off" on the guy.
@Bumpernowable well people was sure that if you sneeze the devil gets in to you (strange cos when you sneeze air goes out of you, the devil likes to swim upstream i guess) anyway they say god bless you to get the devil out of you, not even kidding, in latin they say vade retro satana (get away from me satan or something like that)
@bjam89 I understand that. People having been wishing "good health" to ppl who sneeze, but why not to those that cough? If the guy had coughed in his face, he wouldn't even have a joke. Instead of becoming an ambassador for the "big-guns upstairs" he would have, in his words, "gone off" on the guy. How is that consistent with his beliefs?
1910–15; dial. snark to nag, find fault with (apparently identical with snark, snork to snort, snore, probably < Dutch, Low German snorken to snore) — adj , snarkier , snarkiest
you know, what's funny is when dane cook dies and his body rots and is used for it's nutrients to grow a tree, by the time the tree grows for a hundred years or so to be big enough to be chopped for paper, religion will be outdated. they'll use the tree that grew from dane cook's corpse and print "the god delusion" on it, teaching people knowledge from the dead bodies of the superstitious. :)
@thejustineaster naaah. i don't think we will make it that far. i think at around that time, the movie idiocracy will be on the history channel, right after 'ow my bawls' lol.
@thejustineaster Do you know "1000 Ways To Die"? It's funny how once you think about it, their deaths seem like they have been planned from the very beginning, and the reason why is because they were doing something against god, but also against themselves to (sin). Im not being rude, but when you think about it, we mainly have people who have died painfully not believing in God, actually be the nutrients for trees, rather than people who do believe, and get buried properly.
@thejustineaster You do realize that a bunch of people were saying the same thing every 50 years since the 18th century, yet religion continues to persist?
@thejustineaster You know there is as much proof for a God as there is for any disproof that there is that there isn't a God. In my opinion I find that atheists are often feeling like they are too smart to believe in religion so they choose not to believe in it. I often find that they are overconfident and unwilling to look at the other side.
@Ralph12344 i gather that you are making the same assumption about me. shall we begin a religious debate? please enlighten me about what i am unwilling to look at.
ps - 'you deserve to be tortured forever because you don't believe in the unprovable thing that i believe in' seems a bit more over confident to me than 'there is no observable proof of the existence of god.'
@thejustineaster You. Are. Retarded. Not even dissing theism or AANYYTHINGG. But the fact that you actually think Religion will become outdated is just retarded.
@rudyisawesome1 religion is already outdated. church attendance is at an all time low. a study conducted by the american physical society found that "americans without affiliation comprise the only religious group growing in all 50 states. in 2008 those claiming no religion rose to 15 percent nationwide, with a maximum in vermont at 34 percent." i'm obviously not retarded.
@thejustineaster Oh really? Religions together have almost 4 Billion people in their churces. Catholicism alone has 1 billion. Did your little study say anything about that?
@Rudyisawesome1 my 'little study'? who peed in your cereal bowl? at least i can leave a citation for my source, where'd you find your statistic, hmm?
it doesn't matter what church attendance is now, idiot. only that it's been at it's lowest lately. non-relligious affiliation is the fastest growing group. besides, you said i was retarded for thinking religion would someday be outdated, so that was what i was refuting, not that there aren't a bunch of dumb fucks still attending. try to keep up.
@thejustineaster Yeah your "little study" Show me a link to it and I'll give you a link to my point. Everyone's entitled to their own opinions. I also really dont think non religious groups are the fastest growing, and Religion is always going to be a dominant figure in the world. if you're an atheist that's cool but i think you're wrong.
@thejustineaster You are pretty smart as to knowing what happens to the physical body once it has died. But didn't you know about the soul? I can't believe you don't know where the soul goes when the physical body dies?! You should read the Holy Bible. It will tell you more of what I'm talking about. God bless you and have a wonderful day!
@BlongBlarble problem in this case is the fact that you take soul for granted. I still call it a stalemate when it comes to whichever religious debate due to the simple fact that existence of a soul in conventional sense (in which most religious people see it) cannot be proved or disapproved by means of logic.
@ColdButterfly Like a flying dragon that disappears every time you look up can't be proven nor disproven, so its logical that you have to occupy your mind with the possibility and if you don't include all possibilities you are not allowed to finish your math problem.
@BlongBlarble way to go with the friendly christian approach, that's uncommon these days. jesus would be proud. but i do know where the soul goes when the physical body dies. i have read the bible, cover to cover, and the bible got it wrong. can't blame the authors, they were only around from the bronze age to the beginning of the first century ad. blame the christians who take that book too literally. you should read "life before life" by jim tucker.
Even after Dane Cook being well... Dane. He goes and fucking stands out to show how really life is. You know what! The last part about how he goes and prints the bible on him is genius. If only the people in my class could see this. The majority of them think they are Atheists. Who said? Them. And I go to a Protestant school. Have fun explaining that to the Lord when you die.
Lol I thought this was somewhat funny. Honestly I don't like people saying bless you because I usually sneeze twice in a row, and the bless you distracts me.
I just met an Atheist. Didn't bother me I could have cared less. He was more insulted that I had a religion then mine not giving a damn about his beliefs. I'm not showering him with my beliefs. I wish I found this on my phone and played this for him. What a gigantic jerk face.
honestly, I find this hilarious. it's just, I know a lot of atheists and they don't act like that, so it seems over-exaggerated, but then again, it could have been an atheist douchebag. lol
@hejie23 because its ironic how he wanted to be a tree, and maybe end up getting chopped down and getting the bible printed on him cus hes atheist lol. something tells me you'r an atheist too..
i looked it up (snarky) and went to the urban dictionary and it says: A word that should be googled to find the definition as per direction from Dane Cook. It means short tempered or irritable.
"He was being very snarky with me. Yeah, snarky. Its a word, google it." -Dane Cook . i was laughing so hard =p
I'm an Atheist, and I think this is hysterical.
potterfan392 1 day ago
xD ahh i love dane cook
omgitstrix777 1 day ago
dane cook is so annoying i wanted to give him a chance but hes just so annoying and too much...
max8987 2 days ago
This retarded stone age thinking cunt would get booed in England,only in America huh!!! People applauding some cunt bigging up supernatural crap.Fucking glad the pretend bearded one 'chose' America a couple of hundred years ago and not us.Scary,fucking scary.
tipper780 2 days ago
Athiest (Y)
MrMvp98 4 days ago
You go Dane, and show that strawman atheist just how harsh a Christian's vengeance is!
ginckgo 4 days ago
Oh no! A comedian is implying that atheists aren't the most intelligent and reasonable people in the universe! This is incredibly offensive!
Onsube 5 days ago 3
622 people are over sensitive atheists
TheJamesMackay 5 days ago 2
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TheJamesMackay 5 days ago
Gesundheit = To your health (in German)
But people are really dicks when they argue over religious shit.
JefferstChmilst 1 week ago 8
lol once the guy is paper, print the bible on him XD
shannonf101 1 week ago
This guy's jeans are too tight.
EdsEnemy 1 week ago
@EdsEnemy That's why he's sexy.
jessydaytime 1 week ago
@jessydaytime Naw dood.
EdsEnemy 3 days ago
Please welcome to the stage: the WORST comedian of all time, DANE COOK!!!
LermanProductions 1 week ago
@LermanProductions I like him a lot. You Mad?
XxIcedecknightxX 1 week ago
@XxIcedecknightxX Yes. I'm furious.
*I should point out that I'm being sarcastic.
LermanProductions 1 week ago
This guy is an idiot.
kmiroshkhin 1 week ago
This DOUCHE BAG is still doing comedy? The worst comedian ever and a total weasel douche
davgabe 1 week ago
Why do so many people hate Dane Cook?? I think he's hilarious!
JamesJonathon013 2 weeks ago
Religious, compares all Germans to Hitler, jokes with no depth behind them, easy to understand. No wonder the Americans love him.
Greenday122235 2 weeks ago
@Greenday122235 Also takes things out of context with the tree thing, doesn't understand basic concepts. I surprised he isn't their president yet.
Greenday122235 2 weeks ago
@Greenday122235 No wonder why you love him so much, your watching it too-_-
koakrew23 2 weeks ago
@koakrew23 That makes virtually no sense. Watching it doesn't mean I love him, it means I try things before formulating an opinion. Assuming that even what you meant, deciphering that isn't easy,
Greenday122235 2 weeks ago
this video is great!!!! lol
CMarie41 2 weeks ago
@Ralph12344 that newton's theories are: as stepping stones. that being said, i have never seen one of his theories demonstrated to suggest there was ever a time before atoms existed. there are proposed ideas as to how atoms may have formed in the earlier times of the universe's cylce in which we live, but regardless, what you have still failed to do is conclusively link your personal god with any physical phenomena. not by any stretch of the imagination. it simply can't be done.
thejustineaster 2 weeks ago
@Ralph12344 atoms can't be created naturally, as far as we know. how does that prove that the one and only god from the bible is the reason for atoms? couldn't any other religion's god be responsible? or couldn't it be an energetic occurence for which the conditions have not been adequate in our brief periods of human observance and theoretical calculations? i've studied einstein pretty extensively, and although there's no way to say his theories are outdated, they are useful in the same sense
thejustineaster 2 weeks ago
he didnt mean that his soul is transferred into a tree. also assuming that is what went on in cooks head then he just said how he wanted to brutally murder someone and forcibly print his doctrine on him.
trancedance65 2 weeks ago
@siah16 X3 Da~
dawn98silver 3 weeks ago
I am Atheist and I found this hilarious,I would have laughed at the dude, now just cause I dont believe doesnt mean I would do what that dude did cause I respect others beliefs, so any Christians who read this PLEASE don't send me no messages or response to this cause i really don't want to have no debates, I was raised to believe in God but lost my faith and I will leave it at that!
TWFsbeast 3 weeks ago
@TWFsbeast Amen! Oh I mean, I totally agree with you bro, many people on youtube get offended to easily. Other Dane Cook Atheist videos got a lot of dislikes and hate comments. It's part of jokes. Something some people can't handle.
XJohnnyStoneX 3 weeks ago
@Rudyisawesome1 it's not opinion, it's fact, based on hard data. i have to spoon feed you links because you can't google search the study yourself, and you can't cite sources without me providing a link to mine first. (foxnews.com/us/2011/03/23/losing-religion-study-finds-religion-extinct-parts-world/) it's not my little study, it's two universities studies. i don't just make this stuff up man, as you seem to do.
thejustineaster 3 weeks ago
@thejustineaster There is a fair amount of proof actually. There is the fact that (from fairly recent discoveries) that atoms can be created and destroyed with destroyed being defined as completely destroyed, there are certain theories and formulas from Einstein, and also certain laws involving dark matter. If you doubt any of these I can provide you with the links.
Ralph12344 3 weeks ago
@Ralph12344 oh no i don't doubt those things. i, like many atheists, tend to dabble in physics. what i doubt is that you can show how those "laws" (they're actually theories, not laws) prove the existence of god. but not just the ambiguous title, "god," but the actual anthropromorphized scriptural god of whatever your religion is. there's proof that we don't know everything, but christians can't grasp that it takes a colossal leap of logic to say "dark matter and destroyed atoms... thus, god!"
thejustineaster 3 weeks ago
@thejustineaster I am not focusing on the fact that atoms can be destroyed, but on the fact that atoms can be created but not created naturally. Some of Einstein's theories also suggest (if I remember correctly) that there may have been a time before atoms existed..
Ralph12344 3 weeks ago
Dane cook is going to hell. Thou shalt not steal, remember?
josh18230 3 weeks ago
go big guns upstairs
Miklofool 3 weeks ago
Thumbs up if you think
Atheist will say "hare krishna..!!\ Allah!! \ oh Jesus!!!! on >>>> 21 dec 2012!!
:D :D
ikemefunaikemefuna 3 weeks ago
I don't consider myself to be a religious person but I do believe in God and Jesus.
codebman 3 weeks ago
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codebman 3 weeks ago
dane cook is such an unfunny douche. every time i see him it make me miss george carlin that much more.
fuctanyway 3 weeks ago
Ahaha guess who's dead sucker! xD lol
Iceechibi 3 weeks ago
I'm not religious at all but I don't find this offensive in the least! But then again I watch Hetalia, so I don't think anything can offend me... X3
dawn98silver 3 weeks ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook 20
@dawn98silver athiest will become one with mother russia yes?
siah16 3 weeks ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
@BlongBlarbie *Whiny voice* SHADDAAAAP LOL (Kidding, but that was kinda mean, please go read your own bible and learn not to judge)
dawn98silver 3 weeks ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
I am Windextor! I will clean your soul! 3:10
DragonSlasher100 3 weeks ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
AYE! dont be hatin' on Dane! hes a kool dude ^w^
xXaltowolfXxmp3 3 weeks ago
lol he gunna come back as a giant weeping willow XD
DeadlyLady120235 4 weeks ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
I don’t find this offensive or anything, but it's terribly annoying to see that anyone yell and can make stupid noises while beating a joke into the ground, and still get enormous applause just for establishing that they’re Christian.
Jeffholdsworth 4 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@physphilmusic As long as people fear not existing anymore in any form once death knocks on their door, their will always beliefs in imaginary afterlives, most of those involve religion.
theBartone9119 4 weeks ago
ahteists are condescending douches just like the guy he talks about, also why do atheists even care, if religion is wrong nothing happens, if atheists are wrong you go to hell, good luck
meekal30 1 month ago
@meekal30 Because it costs the taxpayers millions of dollars that should be coming from the richest organizations on the face of the earth, such as the church. Not only this but it has bars us from politics; according to polls less than half of america would vote for an atheist, even if he agreed with them on EVERY ISSUE. Yet atheists make up the majority of the intelligentsia and ought to be more qualified than those who devote their lives to magical books and space wizards.
kenscottmaclean1 1 month ago
@kenscottmaclean1 Wow, you believe the bible.....is a magical book related to space wizards......well now I know why you don't believe, lol. Im not catholic, christian actually, and yeah, I admit I don't have as much information as you, about politics, taxpayers, and probably not as intelligent as you concluded about the atheists being a huge majority of intelligence. But "We don't need to understand to have faith, we just need to have faith in order to understand".
Jericho11894 1 month ago
@Jericho11894 i wish it were just a ridiculous fairy tale, but it's a ridiculous fairy tale that has caused millions to murder each other and spreads a message that says shaving and gossip should be punished by death, while raping a woman is punished by a fine. Also the "faith in order to understand" bit is different, every idea we haven't proven is waiting for proof, whether for or against it. If one theory proves incorrect we don't start a fucking war we figure out why. that is the difference.
kenscottmaclean1 1 month ago
@kenscottmaclean1 Wow, alot a negative stuff here, lol. Again not being rude, but don't people usually kill eachother anyway by their "own understanding", rather than by "Gods understanding". Anyway, as I said I admit I may not be well informed as you, plus, the "faith in order to understand" part, isn't a bit different, it just seems different to you because that's your own "human understanding", by pride & ego, rather than by God.
Jericho11894 1 month ago
@kenscottmaclean1 I also the history of some religious fights about certain situations, like how the crusaders abused Gods name in order to achieve power, but were those really people of God. I know of what you say about people killing people for stupid reasons is somewhat true, but that's why we learn from the past. Anyway, I don't think you can see my point because your cup is already full, so i'll just pray for you, and hope God will take care of it. GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
Jericho11894 1 month ago
@Jericho11894 don't strain yourself with all that praying. The teachings of your god are mostly about murder. The things that book says; Kill a woman if she isn't a virgin on her wedding day, kill anyone who wheres a shirt of two different fibers, kill a woman who tries to teach a man, Shave the hair of a woman that shows it whilst praying, Kill a person if they swear they will do something, kill a man if he says "god" with a shitty attitude, kill a man if he eats lobster or pork...
kenscottmaclean1 4 weeks ago
@Jericho11894 kill a farmer who puts two seeds in one harvest, kill a man who curses, kill a man who touches the skin of a pig. Note that slavery is not on the list, it's encouraged by the bible, under the condition that even as slaves women aren't to be equal to the men.
Remember these teachings of your kind and benevolent lord of creation as you pray, and remember he has to power to end world hunger, to cure cancer, to fix everything wrong in the world; but doesn't.
kenscottmaclean1 4 weeks ago
i like him he is a best spetial his acting is awsom
مررره عجبني واحلى شي تمثيلو..... كئني اتفرج فلم
MrFuad4884 1 month ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
well you never know...maybe they will print a science book on him.
IronGlint 1 month ago
catholics hell yea
Cradlechick666 1 month ago
this is truly awful.
TwoBlokesandaYob 1 month ago
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budwudd 1 month ago
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budwudd 1 month ago
loving the "shocker" imprinted on the circle...=9
lackadaisicaldon 1 month ago
evidently he didn't understand the tree reference.
He is saying he is going to rot in the ground like every other dead thing, and one day a tree will use his nutrients to grow. Cook seems content to confuse nutrients and the "soul" (the imaginary thing you blame for consciousness)
kenscottmaclean1 1 month ago
@kenscottmaclean1 Oh for Christ sake his JOKING!!!!
gravesofqueens 1 month ago
@gravesofqueens i hope your spelling is just a joke.
kenscottmaclean1 1 month ago
@kenscottmaclean1 You're really bad at recognizing what is a joke and what isn't. I misspelled.
gravesofqueens 1 month ago
This guy is retarded, not funny and very annoying.
heiden6 1 month ago
1:40 HE IS DOVAHKIIN! to bad at 8:45 he takes an arrow to the knee
IronweaverVlog 1 month ago
@IronweaverVlog An Atheist can't be Dovahkiin, Atheists aren't awesome. And that joke is overused.
TheShadowman60 4 weeks ago
I'm an atheist, but damn that was funny xDDD
Anarchist48 1 month ago
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IronweaverVlog 1 month ago
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IronweaverVlog 1 month ago
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IronweaverVlog 1 month ago
I'm not religious, but holy hell this was a great set
CaptianComment 1 month ago 18
@CaptianComment same here Im Atheist and this was hilarious I would have laughed at this dude, I will become a Red Wood Tree but the dumb ass he talked to will become a Ficus lol
TWFsbeast 3 weeks ago
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CaptianComment 2 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@TWFsbeast Haha I'm hoping to be a Samurai. But whenever I see a ficus, I'll silently be laughing at that ficus... (silently because samurais don't show emotion)
CaptianComment 2 weeks ago
Least funny 'comedian' of all time.
CoreFuckingSucks 1 month ago
@CoreFuckingSucks like you can do better. This dude rocks
abbeyomgeezers 1 month ago
@abbeyomgeezers He rocks if you're an ignorant christian.
CoreFuckingSucks 1 month ago
So the man wants to contribute in death the only way he can by hopefully becoming a tree, and you want to chop him up make another nonsense book? How very christian of you.
Tawny8O8 1 month ago
@Tawny8O8 calm down fag its a joke.
johndnumber3 1 month ago
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Tawny8O8 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@johndnumber3 & I was joking back. You seem quite slow, so Im not gonna call you a fag back because I feel you may be handicapped.
Tawny8O8 1 month ago
I'm atheist and i think this is funny :P and i don't think the guy he was talking about was atheist lol..
Vortex93 1 month ago
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TheDogod 1 month ago
i am an offensive and i find this video atheist
ninjabastard2 1 month ago
Why do people feel the need to say "bless you" only when you sneeze, and not when you cough, burp, or fart? If the guy had coughed in Dane Cooks face, he wouldn't have a joke, and I doubt Mr. Cook would have turned into an ambassador of his God, but would have "gone off" on the guy.
Bumpernowable 1 month ago
@Bumpernowable well people was sure that if you sneeze the devil gets in to you (strange cos when you sneeze air goes out of you, the devil likes to swim upstream i guess) anyway they say god bless you to get the devil out of you, not even kidding, in latin they say vade retro satana (get away from me satan or something like that)
bjam89 1 month ago
@bjam89 I understand that. People having been wishing "good health" to ppl who sneeze, but why not to those that cough? If the guy had coughed in his face, he wouldn't even have a joke. Instead of becoming an ambassador for the "big-guns upstairs" he would have, in his words, "gone off" on the guy. How is that consistent with his beliefs?
Bumpernowable 1 month ago
@Bumpernowable to be fair i think this never even happened, he has said the same story in a diffrent video, but it was diffrent
bjam89 1 month ago
howdareyou *space*??? i thought it was how *space* dare *space* you.
Xolfcfan 1 month ago
i hate how he's insulting atheist but it's so funny
wyghfrt01 1 month ago
I love his little float.
GeNae227 1 month ago
i wish they would make a clusterf**k candy bar
Gwangisaurus 1 month ago
FWUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
iLoveLinkinParke15 1 month ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
Tosh shits on this guy
unchartedjdz9 1 month ago
@lolblackice154 I'm an atheist and I fucking love this video :)
Kawrrz 1 month ago
Comment removed
mk47v2 1 month ago
Snarky: Origin:
1910–15; dial. snark to nag, find fault with (apparently identical with snark, snork to snort, snore, probably < Dutch, Low German snorken to snore) — adj , snarkier , snarkiest
informal unpleasant and scornful
thegreatdragontamerx 1 month ago in playlist Dane Cook
PUH!
thegreatdragontamerx 1 month ago in playlist Dane Cook
You here that Atheist, they'll going to print the Bible on you
TheIntoxicatingEgo 1 month ago
he's talking about reincarnation, which is obviously not what the guy would have been talking about. he's an idiot.
jrwagner7 1 month ago
I'm gonna print the bible on your moms.
Fuzzy192006 1 month ago
Friendly letter: towhomitmayconcern
Angry letter: howdareyougvb hb How dare all of youuygfcfcfcfc v
OverblownPsycho 1 month ago
you know, what's funny is when dane cook dies and his body rots and is used for it's nutrients to grow a tree, by the time the tree grows for a hundred years or so to be big enough to be chopped for paper, religion will be outdated. they'll use the tree that grew from dane cook's corpse and print "the god delusion" on it, teaching people knowledge from the dead bodies of the superstitious. :)
funny joke though.
thejustineaster 1 month ago 16
@thejustineaster naaah. i don't think we will make it that far. i think at around that time, the movie idiocracy will be on the history channel, right after 'ow my bawls' lol.
AteYourBaby13 1 month ago
@thejustineaster Comment of the week for me. Thank you. :)
KimInChains 1 month ago
@thejustineaster Do you know "1000 Ways To Die"? It's funny how once you think about it, their deaths seem like they have been planned from the very beginning, and the reason why is because they were doing something against god, but also against themselves to (sin). Im not being rude, but when you think about it, we mainly have people who have died painfully not believing in God, actually be the nutrients for trees, rather than people who do believe, and get buried properly.
Jericho11894 1 month ago
@thejustineaster You do realize that a bunch of people were saying the same thing every 50 years since the 18th century, yet religion continues to persist?
physphilmusic 4 weeks ago
Comment removed
theBartone9119 4 weeks ago
@physphilmusic see my comment to Rudyisawesome1 (i posted it tonight). there may be hope yet.
thejustineaster 3 weeks ago
@thejustineaster You know there is as much proof for a God as there is for any disproof that there is that there isn't a God. In my opinion I find that atheists are often feeling like they are too smart to believe in religion so they choose not to believe in it. I often find that they are overconfident and unwilling to look at the other side.
Ralph12344 4 weeks ago
@Ralph12344 i gather that you are making the same assumption about me. shall we begin a religious debate? please enlighten me about what i am unwilling to look at.
ps - 'you deserve to be tortured forever because you don't believe in the unprovable thing that i believe in' seems a bit more over confident to me than 'there is no observable proof of the existence of god.'
thejustineaster 3 weeks ago
@thejustineaster A person dying, let alone a comedian, and rotting, is not funny. Not even if a piece of Atheist shit like you is dead.
TheShadowman60 4 weeks ago
@TheShadowman60 nice one
thejustineaster 3 weeks ago
@thejustineaster You. Are. Retarded. Not even dissing theism or AANYYTHINGG. But the fact that you actually think Religion will become outdated is just retarded.
Rudyisawesome1 4 weeks ago
@rudyisawesome1 religion is already outdated. church attendance is at an all time low. a study conducted by the american physical society found that "americans without affiliation comprise the only religious group growing in all 50 states. in 2008 those claiming no religion rose to 15 percent nationwide, with a maximum in vermont at 34 percent." i'm obviously not retarded.
...retard
thejustineaster 3 weeks ago
@thejustineaster Oh really? Religions together have almost 4 Billion people in their churces. Catholicism alone has 1 billion. Did your little study say anything about that?
Rudyisawesome1 3 weeks ago
@Rudyisawesome1 my 'little study'? who peed in your cereal bowl? at least i can leave a citation for my source, where'd you find your statistic, hmm?
it doesn't matter what church attendance is now, idiot. only that it's been at it's lowest lately. non-relligious affiliation is the fastest growing group. besides, you said i was retarded for thinking religion would someday be outdated, so that was what i was refuting, not that there aren't a bunch of dumb fucks still attending. try to keep up.
thejustineaster 3 weeks ago
@thejustineaster Yeah your "little study" Show me a link to it and I'll give you a link to my point. Everyone's entitled to their own opinions. I also really dont think non religious groups are the fastest growing, and Religion is always going to be a dominant figure in the world. if you're an atheist that's cool but i think you're wrong.
Rudyisawesome1 3 weeks ago
@thejustineaster You are pretty smart as to knowing what happens to the physical body once it has died. But didn't you know about the soul? I can't believe you don't know where the soul goes when the physical body dies?! You should read the Holy Bible. It will tell you more of what I'm talking about. God bless you and have a wonderful day!
BlongBlarble 3 weeks ago
@BlongBlarble problem in this case is the fact that you take soul for granted. I still call it a stalemate when it comes to whichever religious debate due to the simple fact that existence of a soul in conventional sense (in which most religious people see it) cannot be proved or disapproved by means of logic.
ColdButterfly 3 weeks ago 3
@ColdButterfly Like a flying dragon that disappears every time you look up can't be proven nor disproven, so its logical that you have to occupy your mind with the possibility and if you don't include all possibilities you are not allowed to finish your math problem.
jessydaytime 1 week ago
@BlongBlarble way to go with the friendly christian approach, that's uncommon these days. jesus would be proud. but i do know where the soul goes when the physical body dies. i have read the bible, cover to cover, and the bible got it wrong. can't blame the authors, they were only around from the bronze age to the beginning of the first century ad. blame the christians who take that book too literally. you should read "life before life" by jim tucker.
thejustineaster 3 weeks ago
Thumps up, whoever googled the word snirky
KronozDeathWing 1 month ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
I AM WINDEXTOR!!!!!
Bonanza827 1 month ago 2
religion is stupid, im atheist but i dont belive in coming back as a tree, this one wasnt funny at all compared too most of his stuff..
hatakeRandomHero 1 month ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
omg that us fucking awesome yea man! wow thaht last line , about turning him into a Bible, priceless, priceless!
AlucardCrazy88 1 month ago
i want a clusterfuck
liltunechi4eva 1 month ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
I'm an athiest.. and this was perfect x3 LOLOLOLOL
ThisIsHowNinjasRun1 1 month ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
AMEN TO THAT BROTHA
bestieswithari011 1 month ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
Please take the time to read this:
Even after Dane Cook being well... Dane. He goes and fucking stands out to show how really life is. You know what! The last part about how he goes and prints the bible on him is genius. If only the people in my class could see this. The majority of them think they are Atheists. Who said? Them. And I go to a Protestant school. Have fun explaining that to the Lord when you die.
RedVelvet1226 1 month ago
I'm an atheist and I found this hilarious, especially the end!
ChrisJahangir 1 month ago 3
@ChrisJahangir People need to hop off us, and yes, this video was hilarious.
TheWaterboy818 1 month ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
WOOOOO~~!!!!!
jojoXeline 1 month ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
Catholic humor? this shit exist?
ablalex 1 month ago 8
Lol I thought this was somewhat funny. Honestly I don't like people saying bless you because I usually sneeze twice in a row, and the bless you distracts me.
evilazulan 1 month ago
I LOVE DANE COOK
justkeepswimming4ify 1 month ago
I just met an Atheist. Didn't bother me I could have cared less. He was more insulted that I had a religion then mine not giving a damn about his beliefs. I'm not showering him with my beliefs. I wish I found this on my phone and played this for him. What a gigantic jerk face.
nmkiana 1 month ago
honestly, I find this hilarious. it's just, I know a lot of atheists and they don't act like that, so it seems over-exaggerated, but then again, it could have been an atheist douchebag. lol
crobexplosion 1 month ago
I didnt know so many religious people listened to Dane Cook.
He Seems like He'd be an Atheist Himself. I thought he was pretty down to earth until this.
VikingSkills7 1 month ago
thumbs up if you just googled snarky lol
kmoss1394 2 months ago in playlist Liked videos
Dane Cook; Once he's paper. You print the Bible on him.
Me: HELL YEAH!
Forbiddeness 2 months ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook 3
i think itd be awkward to stand in that circle, itd be like no matter what way i face somebodys staring at my ass!!
polarissupersport550 2 months ago 34
@polarissupersport550 He has a nice ass though! <3
YoItsAbe 1 month ago
if someone sneezed in my face i would have ripped his/her head off!
karlababii909 2 months ago
Windextor:I AM WINDEXTOR I WILL CLEAN YOUR SOUL
Me: Thanks man :)
TheDarkturtwig 2 months ago 2
I'm pretty sure that that guy would have been a dick regardless of his beliefs.
ThePotatomanrules 2 months ago
i put my windex halfway......
dashorty95 2 months ago
555 people are athiest
dashorty95 2 months ago
The atheist must have been dragonborn.
nazumis 2 months ago 2
554 peaople are atheists
lolblackice154 2 months ago 17
@lolblackice154 how was the last part funny...
hejie23 2 months ago
@hejie23 because its ironic how he wanted to be a tree, and maybe end up getting chopped down and getting the bible printed on him cus hes atheist lol. something tells me you'r an atheist too..
lolblackice154 2 months ago
@lolblackice154 forgot to reply to you but ya i replied with "Ironic maybe but not really funny..."
hejie23 2 months ago
Ironic maybe but not really funny...
hejie23 2 months ago
@lolblackice154 me to!!
ozzyelchulo 1 month ago
@lolblackice154 yes I am.
ColdRainMaker 1 month ago
@lolblackice154 554 have more common sense and are funnier than dane cook
Atheieye 1 month ago
@lolblackice154 554 people are right and proud of it.
Xolfcfan 1 month ago
@lolblackice154 554 people are intelligent human beings
ninjabastard2 1 month ago 2
@lolblackice154 602 people believe in facts
ryanroosterr 1 month ago
Not funny, and ignorant.
6Metal6Preacher6 2 months ago
OH SHIT SON
5sentus 2 months ago
Lol athiests and thiests are both retarded
DmonkeyD1994 2 months ago
A word that should be googled to find the definition as per direction from Dane Cook. It means short tempered or irritable.
"He was being very snarky with me. Yeah, snarky. Its a word, google it." -Dane Cook
Quote un-quote the urban dictionary Found On GOOGLE!!! xD
MeganJayJay 2 months ago in playlist YouTube Mix for Dane Cook
I love you DANE COOK! His humor is just so picturistic, I actually pictured the dude sneezing and everything lol
Then ends classic hahaha
CookieBear99 2 months ago
the odds that after you die you will become fertilizer for earth are 99%!its not 100% because you could die in space or on another planet..
DIVAD291 2 months ago
I say,peace be with all of you, you're beliefs are your beliefs , live free and prosper.
xCoD4z 2 months ago
I WILL CLEAN YOUR SOUL!
summerchica96 2 months ago
Thumbs up if u tried it halfway:))
MrSpartanfanatic1 2 months ago
Comment removed
MrSpartanfanatic1 2 months ago
i looked it up (snarky) and went to the urban dictionary and it says: A word that should be googled to find the definition as per direction from Dane Cook. It means short tempered or irritable.
"He was being very snarky with me. Yeah, snarky. Its a word, google it." -Dane Cook . i was laughing so hard =p
otakuchic161 2 months ago