Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election

[h0rnd0917]

Is chelsea clinton on facebook? I might vote Hillary if she is

[Michylikespie]

You guys laugh at the facebook masterbators because you know it's true

[ShaithMaster]

Argh one of my ex-friends from high school was a Wes Anderson dipshit, I hate those smug, satchel wearing, smartcar-driving, assholes.

[awnawwww]

I love how the onion always makes sense in the weirdest way..

[undertyped1]

facebook masturbators... oh wait, thats the first and second comment

[Puglous]

Wow, there are a lot of necktie Asians living above frozen yogurt shops!

[trevorzlee]

rofl @ Magic the Gathering Cousins...

[EuclidianProposition]

@TheMysticmusti No self-respecting stoner would vote for McCain.

[Sephirosu6]

famous swayzes 99%? hmmm

[EuclidianProposition]

Why is the Stoner Friend Leo Demographic 100% McCain?

[TheMysticmusti]

@EuclidianProposition because its 1 person....

[TheMadTitan1776]

Andrea Bennett is hot. Plain and simple.

[znasser1]

west andersen dipshits and facebook masturbators...LMAO!!!

[CamTroid]

Wow, this must be old... nowadays everyone uses the malaria vaccine 7

[tripdau]

corduroy wearing homosexuals...ha...my neighbor is a cordurouy wearing homosexual

[FlakMeister]

Hot damn, that Republican/Democratic screen in the background looks exactly like the Command & Conquer: Red Alert campaign map.

[Kr4zyAc3]

@FlakMeister which one

[WmO4LyFe]

Spot on with the prediction of the asteroid movie.

[mormor39]

awesome. I wish this were not so close to the bone. The onion bone?

[system0system0]

facebook masturebators omg people will do anything .

[MousieQueen98]

LOL! I wonder how many outtakes they have to do with these videos?

[andyrooney11]

These people must have no sense of humor whatsoever...I could not say those things without pissing myself laughing.

[SENTRY000]

I thought i was the only facebook masterbater?

[pokeparty123]

facebook masturbators are mostly pro-Oboma

i guess I'm a minority among my people

[Flailwielder]

@pokeparty123 FM's unite!



[randomxm1]

I love masturbating to face book.

[Bablet16]

theres nothing like "i'm so bored posts" to make you feel...

lols. i aggree

[gan0nsl4y3r]

sex AND gender

[cyborgtroy]

Well you gotta get the female-to-male trannies who drink Pepsi and have a 19 inch television.

[lugia3]

LOL

[jetsam50000]

Dude, I have seen a frozen yogurt shop run by asians!

[arandajose20]

facebook masterbaters lol

[NobleExecutor]

@arandajose20 It's "masturbate". Learn to spell, dipshit.

[deezeemb]

@arandajose20 "Masterbater" is not a word! Nor is "masterbate" or "masterbateion"!!!

[bmacdonald1000]

@arandajose20 I myself being a frequent face book masturbater also take offense to you spelling the word incorrectly in a youtube comments section where one should be consantly critiqued for their spelling due to the worldwide implications of what is said here

[cyborgtroy]

I wish I had a stoner friend named Leo.

[FollyxXxFallen]

TheOnion made a great point with this one... people focus too much on insignificant details

[XerkDaniels]

Yaa for magic the gathering cousins!

[SecularTechnology]

GO MAGIC!!!

[fifakiri]

1:47 omg i know 1 lol

[wondledonkey]

You know a Facebook masturbator?

[fifakiri]

no the dip shhit thing

[evanescent25]

@fifakiri who?you?

[CleaningTool]

'Wes Anderson dipshits' HAH! BURN

[CountArtha]

"Ape raised by humans still acts like ape."

[iwishiwasdancing]

facebook masturbators? haha

[bajan13k]

I was just about to post that... lol.

[lugia3]

THE FACEBOOK MASTERBATERS ROFL

[Jonobos]

That is exactly what I was just laughing at ! XD

[mynameisnotalfredo]

The opening is the most apt satire I have ever seen. ALways makes me laugh.

[artsydude8900]

facebook masturbators, lol.

[ArmyGun1]

I'm a Detroit Football Lions Fan, sounds like my sorry ass team lol !!! We just signed the 1st pick overall, $78 million overall, $41.7 million guarrrented, his grandkids won't have to work LOL !!!!!!!!

[doinblow]

Holy shit...I actually have a stoner friend named Leo.

[charleslittleba]

Sweet, you know Leo, He always has the best shit!

[ThinsonTigre]

Asians who work at frozen yogurt shops XD

[joeskis]

No not work... Live above...

[ichigo73186]

with neck ties

[pogly100]

One of the best, Onion! A travesty it only has 94000 views. ;o)

[Samofonlysix]

I'd much rather color. The only reason

I came to it was, cause mommy loves news.

[Samofonlysix]

News is boring.

[rhenfield]

the wes anderson dipshits...this made my day.

[TheBestGuitarSoloEVR]

homosexuals wearing corderoy pants.. hahahha

[lejink]

vote with wallet or conscience? my wallet is my conscience!

[zeitgeistMovement1]

facebook masturbaters

lmfao

[TheBestGuitarSoloEVR]

HAHAHA YES

[logg0n]

haha @ soda preference

[paulsint]

"Famous Swayzeys: McCain 0% Obama 99%"

lol

[lizardboy16]

What the hell is a Swayzey?

[paulsint]

what are you, a dumbass? patrick swayze? the actor? "ghost"?

[bokchoiman]

Amy Doherty? lololol

[fhussain44]

Hilarious the way she asks "What about.." at 1:50

[SJJGautham08]

Facebook masturbators! lol

[Fang000]

Go stoner friend Leo!!!

[zero1221]

Not a large asteroid movie! When will Hollywood learn? When? Now? No? Then when?

[msninjanerd]

What about the Harvard educated Nigerian male who has a blog on buzznet and is dating a girl who works at Starbucks? I heard they were supporting the Socialists.

[msninjanerd]

Stoner Friend Leo, perfect.

[tonymnyphot65]

facebook masturbators. hahahahaha

[ravenshield936]

the west anderson dipshits, and the face masturbaters LOL!!! 1:44

[JarlFrank]

Facebook, not face

[437thx1138]

I don't know how they deliver this with a straight face. LOL Slick smooth funny as hell.

Like to know what percent of viewers think it's real? LOL The weather one killed me.

[Sirradal]

what weather one??

[437thx1138]

Sirradal

They did one on the change of weather for fall. Increased winds, leaves changing color, temps dropping etc.. Like it was a major disaster. It's on their channel and / or web site, check it out really funny.

[ChloeJ500]

Somehow I can't believe there are actually any stoners who vote Republican.

[want2rock247]

there are stoners who vote??

"you can do everything you normally do while you're high...you just realize it's not worth the fucking effort." - bill hicks

that being said, this is the most worthless election i've ever witnessed...

[librano]

Heard of Ron Paul? He doesn't even want to tax it!

[dickmorrison]

i love how some people think this is real news lol

[Majadi7]

hahaha he's scrolling down a list as he says what their looking for in stats.

[4ourthofjuly]

And up is down.

[brancher61]

thumbs up. but not all black people get pregnant at 14. just the women lol jk

[b0ssdK]

hahah oh i how i love the onion. such wonderfully brutal satire.

[AdmiralPrice]

xD!!!!

Unbelievably funny

[IrishEyez01]

lol this is funny!

[AkronPorBarack]

Actually, just 1% of Facebook masturbators could put either candidate 1,000,000 votes over the top.

[BatteryEaters]

Good old facebook masturbators!

[randomyugiohplayer]

facebook masturbators are strongly pro-Obama, lol

[debtlifer]

Isn't it fantastic!

[HarvsPenzance]

McCain voters? Of course, their daughters aren't virgins. in the UK McCain make microwave chips (french fries), both are tasteless fatty and worthless.

[Santee802]

Your opinion matters why?

[professorenigma]

Someday neoKlown will realize that national polls are meaningless (remember the polls in the summer of '88 cough cough, remembe rthe polls that had Obama winning NH in Jan.) and a small number of battleground states will decide the election.

[professorenigma]

In addition, national polls had Rudy and Hillary ahead all summer 2007, those turned out to be reliable. Oh, those exit polls in 2004, those were terribly accurate. Ahahahah

[maxine2win]

I did the 1000th rating

yippee to me

btw i gave 5/5

[dasche]

lol unfavorite non sports past times lol

Im a Dinty Moore dad

[tatsumaki11]

Can't. Stop. Laughing.

[skatelif7]

LOL necktie asians living above frozen yogurt shops

[petepittsburgh]

"And what about the employees of the Riggins, Idaho Washington Mutual who have a crush on that girl Amy who works at the Wendy's next door demographic?" hahaha

[onepersontwoperson]

This is like FOX News just as fake, just as biased...except you know... in a liberal way...

[kkashx]

no shit. it's supposed to be funny.

[DLN88]

hahaha "The Wes Anderson dipshits"

[phunchurchgirl]

What about the Hillary supporter who heard Palin mention her in her RNC speech and are now undecided demographic?

[bobzilla211]

already a demographic, seriously

[bellinghamster]

This is just a poor Daily Show copycat.

[gramsienevadawnzaron]

Jon Stewart is funny as hell, but the onion has been around forever and is also a published paper. Furthermore, The Onion doesn't report any real news at all, just fictional stories to satirize what's really happening.

[marijumanji]

I disagree, if you've watched more than 1 of these you'd know the Onion is consistently smart and funny and IMO one of the better things on Youtube. BUT it is entirely different and can't be compared to Daily Show for a few reasons. The Onion puts out a 2 minute video clip ever 2 or 3 days, Daily Show is 22 minutes DAILY. I've seen stuff on the Onion that destroys things Stewart and Colbert have done, but could they come up with 20 minutes of gold every day? I don't know.

[dmtsmokingman]

This is mind control. Everything you see is mind control. The web is getting closer.

[xpirate16]

"Okay, lets talk about the 28% of necktie asians living above frozen yogurt shops demographic" LOL

[TadRapidly]

Dinty Moore Dads. Classic.

[ChromeLocust]

facebook masturbators, haha.

[7ych0]

They really have a great way of pointing out what's happening in the world. (As it's about the same anywhere)

[slateberry]

I wonder how many out takes they have :) I would not be able to keep a straight face

[manimania215]

You know, I was thinking the same thing. That must have taken days to shoot :P

I love the onion.

[blahgirl37]

LOL Love it!

[YoshiFan501]

dunking doughnuts indenpendence???

[flubno]

multipul illigitamte children that eat single serving microwavable dinners. LOL

[doomexe]

Magic The Gathering cousin who's pro Obama here

[cmurdalol]

This is so spot-on.

[kapowz3r]

FACEBOOK MASTURBATERS DEMOGRAPHIC!

[Brigada510]

lol

[Martinvanvannostrin]

Theres no Wendys in Riggins :)

[Martinvanvannostrin]

Riggins Idaho is half an hour from where I live. And Amy is a hottie.

[godfree2canada]

rapid fire funny

[ssnatcherss]

Andrea Bennett is sexy.

[gokinsmen]

The scrolling news ticker at the bottom is hilarious, too.

[smoothdoggy7]

This was priceless....

[losermoron87]

LOL BODY MASS INDEX

TATTOS

LOL

[InKa4484]

i'm a facebook masterbater and i will not vote for obama.

[flubno]

Is there Porn in facebook ?

[ganubis]

It is referring to people who get off on the personal photos of people on Facebook or Myspace. They would be a category of voyeur.

[InKa4484]

not porn but who needs porn with a vivid imagination and just the image of someone.

[ruma17]

hilarious love the ticker on the bottom too.

ape raised by human still acts like ape

[DoctorMarble]

lmao i love that scroller!

"no foul play suspected in the beating death of police chief's wife"

[chrisbattet]

gold

[devilscommander]

west anderson dipshits and the facebook masterbaters hahahahaha good shit

[adr58]

facebook mastorbators

ROFL

[Eyedeaism]

skydiving widowers? lol

[AQUIETMOISTURE]

andrea bennett is sexy

[bigeffendeal]

The Onion rocks!

[Lightstrikers]

this is one of the onion's best. Andrea's almost rolling her eyes at 1:12, "this is bullsh*th and interesting" good acting

[arrogantwormer]

a large asteroid movie!

[5600981]

'facebook masterbators' aahahahahahahahaa!!!

[mooncowtube]

High fructose corn syrup contamination forces FDA to recall all of nation's food.

I have to watch all of these like three times over because the little details are as funny as the main content.

[onyeka112]

omg how do they keep a staight face..this is too funny

[comradepinko]

Many many takes.

[WildernessScream]

Lol. Still funny. Especially "Stoner Friend Leo"

[palimony]

HA HA josh and todd

[wind2071]

WOW, really good episode, keep up the good work.

[jebbNholly]

I am a farmhouse dwelling self-publishing mystery novelist but I also eat artisinal sandwiches AND have a stoner friend Leo, so I am really up-in-the-air about this November's election.

[lordtalon69]

So i guess that means you have MDD? Multiple Demographic Disorder! I'm so sorry... :)

[stessertube]

facebook masturbaters!!! omg lol