Baked Bean Junkie Gross Out

[brad40003]

or injecting it in your cock

[stewarthome]

@brad40003 nice!

[szczels]

I had beans on toast yesterday. Tastes as good now as it ever did!  And so photogenic too!

[stewarthome]

they're a groove sensation!

[Berialavrenti]

what about the part when he starts to fart and smell his farts?

is that the next episode?

[stewarthome]

You'd need that in Smellorama, better for a cinema or DVD with a scratch 'n' sniff card than YouTube!

[stewarthome]

pip pip!

[wierdboringvideos]

toot

[ALLMETALSTAR]

haha i love beans!

[stewarthome]

I like beans, I like sauce, I like beans on toast of course... well actually it is only a word and prefix between the third like and the course... but YouTube took down a video for violating rule which was just a countdown from 10 to 1, so I'll leave you to work out what they'd probably pull this for... ridiculous ain't it!

[RevTwoSheds]

... this should be shown in 39.88% of schools

[stewarthome]

toot toot!

[michaelc6012]

I remember wm Low supermarketsthey were cool

[stewarthome]

we never had them in London, but I always used to use them in Scotland back in the day - also had a fondness for Jackson's supermarkets which you used to get around Hull, but apparently they have gone now too.....

[jimixsx]

I love those old tube cameras. You see that lovely blur you get on the Wm Low can right at the start.

Mmmmm... yummy.

[stewarthome]

Yeah they don't make cameras like they used to do... all you get with this digital shit is boxing....

[demafenetre]

keep it real!

[stewarthome]

now that could end up a bit gross!

[demafenetre]

oh in that case, keep it unreal....

[stewarthome]

post post modernism rocks!

[rzapen]

i can really appreciate the part where you lick the plate!

[stewarthome]

yeah, the best bit!

[OwenJ1971]

Beware - I know someone who died after shooting up beans.

[stewarthome]

I hear they're not even safe to snort!

[ywhogoddess]

you need to submit this for the US Drug Intervention video challenge....!!!!!

x$x

[stewarthome]

might just try that!

[robwdouglas]

ha ha , like a dog eating pedigree chum

[stewarthome]

Yeah, pretty it ain't but pretty gross it is! Toot toot!

[stewarthome]

cheers, yeah totally improvised vocal and I just run out of things to say about half way through and start disrobing what's on screen or anything else... glad you're enjoying it... as it would seem strange to do something like this now... but 20 years ago we were doing this schlock all the time and then rarely showing the results to anyone...

[fugueur]

has a lovely John Smith feel to the voice-over. Loving these old vids Stewart

[tobybenedetto]

In evidence I can give the following proposition. First one must accept that a person's confidence in western cultural ideologies is based on many things, one being that the systems which support and are supported by these ideologies perform their functions affectively, and in turn make this culture affective, and as such, relatively worthwhile.

[tobybenedetto]

in continuation:

One must also accept that these systems develop and work affectively based on sets of rules and associations, such that one set of established letter forms is associated with one specific vocal sound, and another set is associated with another specific vocal sound, a situation which allows the understanding of various letter forms in various different words and how they should be pronounced to be easily reached.

[tobybenedetto]

in continuation:

This increases shared understanding and increases the potential speed of communication, arguably contributing to the overall efficacy of a society's, and as such, a culture's (here we must read ideology's) tools for consolidating and distributing themselves.

[tobybenedetto]

in continuation:

I hold that this process is undermined by ad-hoc and clumsy spelling changes as evident in the creation of US English, in that it undermines and confuses the aforementioned sets of rules and associations integral to this process by subverting them.

[tobybenedetto]

in continuation:

I hold that the end result of this is a reduction of the ability of the western ideology to develop and this reduction corresponds to a growing lack of confidence in this ideology, leading to feelings of distrust and alienation.

[tobybenedetto]

in continuation:

I don't necessarily have an opinion on whether this situation is beneficial or not, or to whom this loss or gain of benefit could be attributed. The various stages of what I describe above can be harnessed to the differing ends of any group and/or trend, a process which itself is also open to further manipulation by these groups and/or trends and so on ad infinitum. For instance, the barman at this pub is a twink.

[stewarthome]

I keep repeating myself...

[stewarthome]

I keep repeating myself...

[stewarthome]

I keep repeating myself...

[stewarthome]

I keep repeating myself...

[tobybenedetto]

whatever will happen has happened again

[stewarthome]

into the future...

[tobybenedetto]

friday nite... time for some one and ones. yum

[stewarthome]

I keep repeating myself...

[tobybenedetto]

wot for

[stewarthome]

dunno, but it gets the comments up... well not from me but by you comin' back and replying... I love it, this is the three r's repetition repetition repetition....

[stewarthome]

no but I got some crumpled William Burroughs novels...

[tobybenedetto]

He never got the needle out of his arm, they don't, if the shot is right. That's the way they find 'em, dropper full of clotted blood hanging out of blue arm. Hired a two-way mirror at a whorehouse in Cincinnati and charged a souski to watch it. Man the kid it was tasty. Or something. Got any eggs for fats?

[stewarthome]

Plugging the camera into the video and putting it onto digital film, then putting the digital camera into the computer to get it on the hard drive... a bit long winded but it worked. Have also been working on super 8 and that is just a question of projecting and filming it off the screen. There are better ways but this is being done no budget (like the original movies that are being digitised)...

[matredman]

How are you getting VHS to digital? What hardware/software do you use?

[matredman]

A "Director" account on YouTube gives you unlimted/more film time.

[stewarthome]

but I probably gotta pay for it, but thanks for the tip, will check it out....

[matredman]

Oh yeah. Sorry. I just looked it up and they took away the privilege. Shame. Google vids I suppose.

[stewarthome]

Yeah thought about google vids, but you end up wondering how many accounts you can manage on social networking sites (I lost count of mine already)... and I think I prefer the user profile here... although that might change...

[hexfraenum]

new heights of insincerity are reached during that highly artificial rrrrrolling of the rrrrr in "brrrrrrrreakfast". what a blast to have Wm Low and old-school Coke in the frame once again. this is way too short - i was just approaching an advanced stage of revolutionary consciousness when, suddenly, the plate of beans was finished.

i think this might benefit from an extended disco remix for the naughties with a La Monte Young underlay...

[stewarthome]

I agree, and a shame YouTube only takes 10 minute vids because I have a number of durational films from this period (and even one I made in homage to these last week) that are an hour long - and they make this look exciting. Boredom rocks! Maybe I should get a Google film account

[tobybenedetto]

is that you wiv a ginger mop on yer head?

skinz!

[stewarthome]

Yeah I have a natural 'white Afro' coz I'm an 'Afro-Celt', I don't think my hair is dyed red in this (but redheads rock), must just be some trick of the light... oh I like the way those curls make my hair grow upwards but it is high maintenance and while I have a bath or shower every day I prefer to wash my hair only once a week, which I can do with a crop, but not with hair grown out which needs more care...

[tobybenedetto]

you should write a hair-care blog, it's obviously your desire to surpress such feminine attributes in your personality that leads you to write a book like 'Cunt' as a sort of smokescreen. so long Stewetta

[stewarthome]

thanks and I think I'm pretty in touch with my feminine side as well as my inner vandal... maybe I'll blog my way into a hair care column...

[tobybenedetto]

have you tried 'Trevor Sorbie?' I hear it is the crack cocaine of hair products.

[stewarthome]

not yet, gotta work my way through all those old 70s products yet, wanna try "New" Stay Blond Shampoo....

[tobybenedetto]

why would he want to eat beans if he was happily staring at his shoe? why indeed, would he even think to visit the doctor?

[stewarthome]

might have got sent there by the courts for all you know, the dialogue is completely improvised but pretty obviously the stuff about the old man in "Plan 9 From Outer Space" was the starting point.... and don't forget that Bela Lugosi whose last movie that was (with the stand in after he died) was a long term smack addict....

[tobybenedetto]

Can't say I'm aware of 'Plan 9,' but I'm asuming there is an old man in it who eats beans and this is a thinly veiled metaphor for heroin addiction, a method Lugosi was forced to employ to beat the censor and still discuss smack on tv. How does the bean pulp travel down the needle? I reckon you'd need a teat pipette to shoot that stuff!

[stewarthome]

it is considered by many the worst movie ever made, no beans but a stand in for Lugosi after he died who is at least a foot taller and hold a cape over his face...

[tobybenedetto]

Can't see what that has to do with your short film here. Anyway they wouldn't take any of my stuff so I submitted a Borges story under my name to a online literary rag, let's see what happens.

[stewarthome]

it relates to the narration which talks about the old man, the young man in this short is an inversion of that.... btw are you high on drugs? I am....

[tobybenedetto]

I've got to say that is about the loosest connection yet made since the fact that Diana crashed into the 13th pillar of whatsisname tunnel was postulated as having occult significance. Drugs rock!

[stewarthome]

yeah and look at it this way, this is one of my least viewed but most commented on videos up here, so its all crack to me...

[tobybenedetto]

also, i suppose baked bean related flatulence helps to clear smack induced constipation and aids digestive transit that would otherwise be solidified by the users diminished metabolism

[stewarthome]

yeah, give 'em beans and egg bagels with plenty of fruit too, that's what I say....

[tobybenedetto]

try and encourage them to stop continually banging speedball into that abcess on their ballsack as well. eeeeurghhh-h-h-h

[stewarthome]

yeah being female my mom never had a problem with that, it is definitely a bloke thing, although speedballs go across the genders, but shooting up into your ballsack doesn't...

[tobybenedetto]

whats this rampant americanisation??

i've never understood, why the scrote??

[stewarthome]

oh 'America' is both Utopia and dystopia of the avant-garde, but beyond the sick government there are some good things about US - and the slight implementation of spelling reforms (hence differences from UK English) didn't go far enough but were better than nothing.

And the 'scrote', I think it is a pathetic way of showing you have balls...

[tobybenedetto]

maybe they 'scrote-up' cos the pigs can't see the marks when they search you. unless they do an 'intimate search.' ooh lovely. i suffered a police 'welfare' check recently when i was happily out of my head, and ended up nicked. great.

if utopia means 'a place that cannot exist' what does dystopia mean. a place that can/will exist? reminds me of the essentially masochistic and self-flagelatory nature of the philosophy of karma.

[stewarthome]

toot toot!

[tobybenedetto]

i'm not a fan of spelling reforms, for instance 'maneuver.' there is no logic to the pronounciation of this word as the logic of the way sounds related to the orginal french letter forms has been lost. you would need to invent a form a US french to compensate for this fully.

[tobybenedetto]

continuation:

in my opinion this sort of change to the organo-semiotic evolutionary process is a sympton of the malign and unnatural cultural, social and technological influences of modernisation, or as i like to called, the futuro-historical process.

[tobybenedetto]

further continuation:

it is an unnatural change with no proper rhythm and sustainable graduation, which undermines the very fabric of the universe, as well as causing general alienation and confusion at a macro level. I will attempt to provide qualitative evidence if it would interest you.

[tobybenedetto]

final continuation:

the US is inextricable element of this process and cannot be untangled from it, and as such other powerful societies such as our own in Europe are as much a part of this process as the US. a bit like a really big speedball really. mmmm feels good. what will happen has happened again.

[stewarthome]

Bebo notice: Please do not post the same comment more than once. It gets a little boring. Oops wrong social network....

[tobybenedetto]

copy-paste off

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[stewarthome]

what will be shall be...

[stewarthome]

it's people like you that will pique my curiosity, and give YouTube another shot! Love your page, thoughts, theories, philosophies......all around we could prob talk for hours...... hope to hear something that gets the wheels turning, soon. ciao, Trippy P.S. check my vids once again for the hair disaster that I may grow out into shortly...........

interesting shit.... Ubu without the red tape and more than a thousand hits in three days! Peace

[stewarthome]

worm holes, I blame the worm holes... for this being one of my least viewed and most commented videos, and it is nice they should be different because viewers can sort them both ways...

[tobybenedetto]

i wrote a whole novel using the copy paste function, it took 10 minutes and i can pass it off as a continuation on the burroughs cut-ups. lucky that people feel they have to take art so seriously, cos this is why they won't realise i'm taking the piss

[stewarthome]

lucky us...

[stewarthome]

yeah the evidence would be good... I have my doubts...

[stewarthome]

sounds like a groove to me...

[stewarthome]

oh I'm all for spelling reform myself... but there you go we've found something to disagree on at last....