The Ricky Gervais Show 2.05 Karl's Diary Poem

[standup001]

i like how Ricky has to say "alright, fine, I´m not after you, go on" :)

[125sonicboom]

"If moths had eyes, would they be happier? How do they know they're not dead?

Cavemen hunting for food, but not before they style the hair on their head.

What would last longer in dinosaur times? A blind man didn't stand a chance.

Not with all them rocks about.

I'd rather be a blind moth."

-- Karl Pilkington

[KyKoC]

The "Get rid of 'em" just makes it THAT much better.

[toms1266]

"Jellyfish are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. "

[DoctorHunt11]

Jesus Christ Stephen.

"I mean, you must be FUCKING unbearable to live with."

[giannicasserini]

lol karl reads it in such a deadpan way!

[ellypoos]

You can never find a video with 46,000+ views and only 1 dislike. Oh Karl Pilkington, you have the power to unite the Internet.

[Tarka98]

Everyone likes pasta

[TwoStupidGirlsYT]

Hairgel man really does exist I had to research him for my ancient history paper on bog bodies. He's called clonycavan man and has a wax type resin in his hair.

[GONZO4Sheriff]

I'm surprised Ricky didn't point out the obvious that moths do indeed have eyes, which is why they're attracted to light.

[dmtotton]

Suzanne dislikes this.

[tiergas98]

I agree with Ricky. It might be the greatest poem ever written.

[eliza097]

id rather be a blind moth

[Halodude3619]

Karl is actually quite good at doing rhymes.

It would be spiteful

To put a Jellyfish

In a trifle.

Hilarious.

[eighthnotes]

"We're a bit insect-heavy"

[Brendan9895]

I love the end of the Jellyfish poem 'Get rid of 'em'

Genius.

[BertisVids]

"They found them both within the same distance"

I fucking lost it when he said that.

[bendanielgreep]

Great quality and length. God bless you sir :D

[osterianio]

@bendanielgreep All I have to say is: That's what she said.

[ShyGuyXXL]

Don't they have any other guests on this show? Cuz I don't really know this show.

[hannessolo]

@ShyGuyXXL nope. it was just a radio show with gervais and merchant. started in 2001. and karl was working as a producer actually and was popped in now and then. and they turned this old podcast now into an animated series.

[ShyGuyXXL02]

@hannessolo Oh, cool. See, I only knew Steven Merchant as Wheatley from Portal 2. He does a fantastic job as a voice actor. Great voice! *.*

[mistahzistah]

ricky gervais is such a dick

[GrandPixel]

Brilliance.

[MrMaddhater]

"fuck me!!!!!!"

[IAMEOLHC]

dexter left his lab to study flies

[MrsPopeJohnPaul]

"....If moths had eyes"

Best first line of anything ever.

[jcjordie21]

Karl's story about the really old body found with gel in his hair is true I'm from Ireland and I saw it in a local newpaper

[MadcapMacabre]

@jcjordie21 Only difference being that the bodies were only 2000 years old :P Not quite the same thing as "Dinosaur Times". I always look into Karls stories, and they're always terribly inaccurate. Haha

[jcjordie21]

@MadcapMacabre Ya I know, he was a bit off on the timescale

[ElvisLivesUpstairs]

If someone put the radio on really loud while I wanted a lay in, I would go mad.

[OliverLam1984]

Karl Pilkington is the best comedian in the world

[reverien5]

karl should write dr.seuss style books

[SuckMyRightToe]

@reverien5 Ricky's written Flanimals, not a narrative but a great deal of nonsense like Dr. Seuss

[freakofevolution]

It's hard that someone actually married Karl. He must be one the most difficult people to live with.

[thestranger4812]

@freakofevolution

He's not married to Suzanne.

[bumblebeefightergirl]

How does he say these poems with such a straight face? "It would be spiteful..."

[tak3808]

Is it wrong that I've watched 7:00 - 7:17 about sixty times today?

[blinkXmeXsunshine]

@tak3808 Not at all! I am so addicted to these things!

[hairy0pothead]

Wo wo wo, keep your pen handy!

[YouArie]

anyone has a picture of Suzanne ?

[ISayHeyOh]

'If moths had eyes'

'FUCK ME!!!'

[metalheadmax09]

@ISayHeyOh I almost died when I heard that.

[fakeaccount663]

i have to say i thought the two jellyfish poems were amazin

[jakekel666]

When karl says:

"At the end of the day..."

"All's im sayin is..."

You know shit's gonna go down.

[Phillyjoe2]

Get rid of 'em! F*cking hilarious

[lukester99999]

"bit weird innit?"

[jamesbeck88]

1 Fly disliked this video

[jamesbeck88]

Insect Heavy

[Algieri92]

I mean you must be ffffucking unbearable to live with.. love it steve!

[Hwarming]

The scientist around the 5 minute mark on the right looks like Dexter as an adult

[osbert]

"... get rid of 'em!" just KILLS me, every time.

[kungfook]

9:08 the greatest poem of all time XD

[HighlyHighlyHumorous]

"Wowowow! Keep your pen 'andy! This one's got a little hat on!"

[sfshinz]

"They found them both within the same distance". Only Karl or Yogi Berra could have said that.

[greenlizardballs]

I don't like jellyfish

They're not a fish

They're just a blob

They dont have eyes, fins or scales like a cod

They float about blind, stingin people in the seas

And no one eats jellyfish with chips and mushy peas

Get rid of em

-- Karl Pilkington

[HaydnFitzsimons]

@greenlizardballs Why did you quote the whole poem? And why was it voted top answer??

[BigDaddyDJD]

lmao Karl at 7:00

[BigDaddyDJD]

"i mean you must be FUCKING UNBEARABLE to live with"

[Itoldyousoproduction]

not that kind of football team -.-

[seancarl97]

@Itoldyousoproduction the animators are american lol

[TheLordHodne]

Shakespeare, Wilde, Pilkington...

[LITTLECD200]

why hasthe ladybird got a mustash

[livingdeadgrl18]

If moths had eyes...

Fuck me!

Let me read the poem

[HLecterPHD]

The other two should go easy on Karl.

Don't rip him too hard.

He's too valuable.

[iamXSTEALTHZX]

I reckon Karl would find Qi interesting, especially the insects episode :D

[Cupit29]

@iamXSTEALTHZX Karl should be on QI!

[iamXSTEALTHZX]

@Cupit29 yeah he'd get a good score, all the crazy stories he's heard about :)

[dannyboi2021]

i love the nod at 6:59 lol

[krownedskate]

I love the way Ricky is pissing himself at just the first line!

[Dunl3y]

that is a good poem

[yasminezeidan]

'this is just'

[natyuotube]

I've listened to loads of recordings from Karl, and this is the best one... so far ;)

[dazpatreg]

As an Irish archaeologist I can back Karl up on the hair gel thing. It was a bog body that was found to have tree sap or some such substance in his hair which they posited could have been some sort of hair fixing agent. Fancier words, but essentially what Karl said. Except for the dinosaur bit. That's bollocks.

[13game3]

@dazpatreg. As a brain dead creationist, i can back up the dinosaurs bit.

[HaydnFitzsimons]

@dazpatreg If your Irish, you're talking shit.

[ErikPaulGames]

if moths had eyes

[IzzySmitten13]

"You must be fucking unbareable to live with"

I dunno why but I love it when Steve Merchant swears

[skibidido]

@IzzySmitten13 Thats because Steve is such a calm and nice person, it becomes a contrast.

[pullahoko]

"If moths had eyes,"

"FUCK ME!"

[jamesgraymoviefan]

Oven.

[hardrockinhere]

cavemen untin for food

[vleskope]

7:02 :)))

[t3rum]

No one notices that Ladybirds don't have ARMS; they have 6 legs!

[1983EAerts]

Nice!

[MegaCybershadow]

the flies are like ricky and stephen

[livingdeadgrl18]

@MegaCybershadow Indeed.

[LetYaRock]

@MegaCybershadow or Orange and Blue from Portal

[paget1875]

It would be spiteful,

to put jellyfish in a trifle