Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe: The Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson

[deathkidrocks]

never been so simultaneously in hysterics whilst scared shitless in my entire life. at 1:01 2 out of 6 human guests look like they actually want to be there, the others look like they've been kidnapped and forced to be on the show

[NegativeOutlook4]

"the puppets look like they've been pulled out of a fire at a child's home"... this is the perfect description of DL Hart's puppets hahaha. "Old and creepy" just weren't cutting it for me, when I'd try to describe them. Thanks, Andy Nyman!

[glitteraddict44]

this music is so intense i feel like the bible show should be some murderer.

[pixelissue]

Tim and Eric!

[Nanovirus5995]

I want to do drugs because of this! Maybe it'll make it look more real!

[lshaw17]

Now don't do drugs there, youtube, such as POT HEROIN COCAINE all that bad stuff.

[hunkyzombie]

@lshaw17 all bad.

[jessesainthimmel]

You kids got dads? I wanna meet that dad!

[Vix847]

Don't do the drugs there.

[SnoopyChicken]

Oh shit guys. My phone just rang and a voice I would swear was Albert Hermanns said "7 days..." and the line went dead.

[EdNortonisMineLol]

I'm really freaked out by those puppets

[KevClynes]

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen, I love it.

[Yallniggasbetrollin]

The music choices in these are brilliance.

[alanwakeish]

I think this must be filmed in a insane asylum, everybody there looks completely bonkers and should never be let out in society

[alanwakeish]

I think Andy is being kind calling them human beings, because what i see, these thing are far from human

[Angim350]

Unbelievable how they are using monsterous puppets to spread the word of God. He is the light and all children should be brainwas... I mean told of him the proper way. By trustworthy Priests and the completly true Bible and shit...

[Botchlae]

I don't do the drugs there I do drugs everywhere.

[gerwazjana]

it's like the Ring once you've seen it it will be with you for the rest of your life! HAHAHAHAAHAHAH ROFTL!

[Iserion13]

Knowledge is power, it grows like a flower~

[MsTaz98]

Me:ಠ_ಠ.......



[gl15col]

Whatever drug they are snorting, I need some right now. No one should have to watch this sober.

[j2theosh1]

the Halloween music in the background was just icing on the cake for this one

[magnuit]

salame



[williamsinclair101uk]

i saw that in a nightmare and freaked out

[LoonyLooners]

This is the fucking most ridiculous shit I've ever seen!

[hannahm4582]

omg thats hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dlohnerbass]

LMAO TIM & ERIC!!!

[EiermannTelevision]

salame

[EdSigma]

I can't believe that parts of this show haven't been made Internet Memes yet! I can easily see 4Chan going nuts over this!

[FSquid]

They all like Shrek

[BurningThreeLobedEye]

This is a real life version of Candle Cove.

[SmileyGremlin]

Oh my gosh, I knew the bloke from Campus looked familiar!!

[sam91832]

its the black puppeteer from tim and eric LOL

[MysteriousStranger03]

that's just bloody creepy

[LucianORourke]

"Such as cocaine, pot, heroin..."

Don't forget LSD, which was obviously heavily relied upon in the making of this program

[MrThecarebear]

Love the expression on the accordion player's face. Did he get his gonads trapped in his squeezebox?!

[AnishaLeahB]

Sounds like a nancy war criminal ;D<3 LOVE THIS<3

[Hazy992]

It's like David Lynch read the Bible then took a shitload of LSD. Don't do the drugs there!

[KiwiIke]

i was about to go to bed, fuck that now

[stuwdvpc]

oh christ, it's ear falls off at 1.59

[RockBottomRiser21]

2:57 to 3:05 is like a deleted scene from Inland Empire

[gregatronix]

David Liebe Heart is in 'Tim and Erics Awesome show great job'. That is actually a comedy(and damn funny) but is surprisingly similar to this.

[MegaDeclara]

EYES CAN'T UNSEE!!!

[stlgtrace]

This is truly firghtening!

[Derp1978]

looks like an andy worhol project

[Restayvien]

That's scary bro.

[BenK8319]

The guy strumming the guitar in the alien mask has got to be a pre fame Buckethead :O

[TheElectricDreamer93]

You wouldn't suspect for a second that the clip at the one minute mark was shot in 2008.

[kalbass]

Hilarious ear falling off at 1:58

[sleeming88]

I wouldn't necessarily say the name Albert Hermann sounds like a Nazi war criminal although it certainly sounds like a false name that a Nazi war criminal would use to evade capture.

[wond3rland4u]

Say no to drugs? This bloody show looks like it was made by producers on drugs. I'm a full grown woman who laughs at horror movies, and I have never been more terrified during this 5 min clip than i am right now.

[ServantOfAllah0264]

oh my god...that is so freaky, it seems to me that at that time (as it still is today) is that they wanted to put kids off christianity and God as much as possible - this show is the best way

[togderi]

HOLLY MOTHER OV GOD........ BRING BACK CRUCIFICTION....

[mixomatosis]

@togderi "crucifiction" - Freudian typo?

[togderi]

@mixomatosis Nope, a spell or Pro Pagan Dada.

[murrrrrgles]

Jesus, this is creepy. The music is perfect.

[pcvideogamer]

IF these feeble minded fuckwits are so into heaven and god etc then why don't they just fucking drive off a cliff and die, leave the kids alone and cease this propagation of mind turd, horrible, truly horrible.

[massmurder7]

2:00 his ear flew off fail

[flyoverangel]

I just realized what it is we as Americans are truly number 1 at: growing freaks!

[Shavarnarak]

@flyoverangel

I'm pretty sure Japan contests that title!

But I gotta admit, you guys got a great shot at it too.

[soupalex]

"SAY NO TO DRUGS, BEAR, DON'T DO THE DRUGS BEAR"

"Such as cocaine, pot, heroin. All that bad stuff!"

"'S'ALL BAD!"

[jseg01]

Funny how he doesn't mention LSD

[jobesonny]

god, that giraffe is something you`d expect to see in a nightmare.

[Rshimy]

You brits are just jealous that your culture is not able to create such entertaining specimens such as David Liebe Hart. JEALOUS I TELL YOU!!

[redlightmax]

2:00 His fucking ear fell off! If that disturbs me, then what the fuck would that do to a kid?

[GreyMercury]

@redlightmax

I love how they saw that and thought "Aw, crap. Shall we re-shoot this scene? Nah, broadcast it anyway. Maybe the kids won't notice".

[mrleedra]

Most people are surprised to learn that David Liebe Hart's stuff on Tim and Eric is not acting. Tim and Eric chose him because he's unsettling in a Lynch-esque way as well funny, though he's much nicer on T+E. Also, a lot of guests on his show (like Adam Papagan) seem to be high and just there for kicks.

[TheConciseStatement]

That's not a children's programme.

That's a nervous breakdown.

[gan9e]

Those 'puppets' are not only horrible to look at but if think about what they are trying to do... program children with bullshit... then it takes on a darker side, i don't mind people believing in bullshit just as long as they don't palm it off as truth to me and please leave the children alone, they don't have the reasoning ability to question or criticize, they just believe... it's like child abuse contributing to the delinquency of children, disgusting and vile.

[instalation9]

@WonderingRover well then let's pray that you get saved...

[WanderingRover]

Albert the puppet sometimes appears in my room at night by the door.....grinning with blood on the edges of his mouth.

[Whatupwidat]

Dude...I'm having acid flashbacks!

[redmanonaroundabout]

ah hernia

[mixomatosis]

I should be obtaining the exclusive rights to distribute DVD copies, along with the original U-matic off-air broadcast tapes of the JCSBL show very soon... Keep an eye on leeashcroft DOT co DOT uk SLASH deadair for further details. I could also tell you all something that would completely ruin the the show for a lot of you... but that really would spoil it.

[RetinendParadox]

so this Andy Nyman discovered this show through a friend in NY, and definitely not Tim and Eric

[sheepeasy]

@RetinendParadox British people over the age of 30 don't know watch Adult Swim. Also, he's Andy Fucking Nyman! King of kings!

[eddypauly22]

Is this a joke?

[ignoranttwat]

This is insane, I really think there's a good chance David lynch is behind it.

[LessthanJake14]

He's great on Tim and Eric.

[Kinjamaimai]

THIS is bad for kids. Not South Park, weed or rap music. THIS!

[tootiredfilms]

@Kinjamaimai YES!

[threefourninetyfour]

I looked it up and the first puppet's name is "That black kid." Say no to racism, kids!

[GmanNetworks]

Jesus. H. Christ. No sleep tonight.

[catsyfamous4areason]

JESUS CHRIST.....I would love to have teddy eddy in my bed doing naughty things!

[tangofizz77]

@catsyfamous4areason HE WOULD BITE YOUR DICK OFF! HAHAHA!

[tellyisrubbish]

The idea of the image and likeness of God being a small, badly dressed puppet called Albert Hermann brings a smile

[ontariobuds]

it's buckethead on the guitar!

[metafication]

david liebe hart owns

[RYCloud92]

Love how battered the freaky kid puppet with the massive eyes looks. So bloody weird

[KatiePirkle]

Holy mother of God, this is insane. I love it.

[icecreamscuseme]

4:15 - 4:23 = Paul Putner

[HALSBRANN]

Albert Hermann loses his ear at 1.58. even as an adult this creeps me out :D

[MrSprink]

Words fail me here, they really do.

This is an exemplary lesson in bad religious programming. Poor production values, scary puppets, comedy singing; it truly is an abomination before the Lord.

Sadly non-Christians will see this as the norm and distance themselves from the faith! Rest assured Christianity is far deeper. Read the Bible to find out more!

[MrSprink]

Words fail me here, they really do.

This is an exemplary lesson in bad religious programming. Poor production values, scary puppets, comedy singing; it truly is an abomination before the Lord.

Sadly non-Christians will see this as the norm and distance themselves from the faith! Rest assured Christianity is far deeper. Read the Bible to find out more!

[mister4seasons]

Tim and Eric anyone?

[Dansonism]

The David Liebe Hart guy is on a show called Tim and Eric Awesome Show now.

[PunkRocker666Metal]

Thank god i didnt see that fucking shit back then. That puppet albert hermann reminds me of Black Devil Doll from Hell.

[burntfaceman86]

Whenever I am having a difficult day, am stressed or tired after a long day at work I watch this video and everything pales into insignificance... truly one of the best bits of VT around literally makes me cry with laughter

[ShesFixingHerHair8]

so eerie. I think this might actually be making fun of Christianity.

[JD1010101110]

I miss screenwipe, and is that the producer from Dead Set?

[berbletov]

Absolute genius.

Every time that panda starts to sing, I just die laughing...

[gefan3]

In its on way, a very potent anti-drug message...

[kelath5555]

Don't do the drugs theah.

IT'S ALL BAD.

[Sasha2999]

what is this i don't even

[mujiel]

I'm a Christian and I am so freaked out by this....

[antbubb]

what the fuck is this?

[18violet]

Idk. I'm Christian, yet I feel so offended at this. I really do. It scares ME.... God...

[griffin7564]

wtf..only fucked up christians could make a show like this dont deny it...

[greatestsongsofLIFE]

dude the whole show is meant to be COMEDY! David is on "Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job" for crying out loud! HE IS MAKING FUN OF CHRISTIANS! Search "Adam Papagan" on youtube (The guy in this video wearing an alien mask at the end) and you will see

[griffin7564]

why is it on that channel then?? why not comedy or it seems like some obscure thing someone may find on youtube lol

[greatestsongsofLIFE]

its VERY DRY HUMOR.

[bobjones864]

@greatestsongsofLIFE

The Tim and Eric folks did indeed use this stuff and involve these people, but the show was on the air for 20 years. Did they really do that as a practical joke for 20 years?

[greatestsongsofLIFE]

wheres the proof he did it for 20 years? The whole tim and eric gang are KNOWN for using old cameras and editing for their shows to make it look old. Have you ever seen a interview with tim and eric? they lie about EVERYTHING and go off topic like some autistic kid

[bobjones864]

@greatestsongsofLIFE

Yeah, I know who they are.

The show has a reputation as a cult classic. The guy who made the show appeared in a documentary called "Public Access Hollywood." You can read all kinds of stuff about him online. My understanding is that the show existed first, then Tim and Eric (and Bob Odenkirk) put him in there show. If the whole thing is a hoax, it's a good one. I don't think it is, since multiple people have written about meeting David doing street performances.

[Applemask]

@greatestsongsofLIFE Tim and Eric didn't invent him, they discovered him in the same way as Andy Nyman. He's real.

[LateLostFan]

Jim Henson (co-creator of the Muppets and Sesame Street) must be spinning in his grave!

[rodgerhd]

Haha, did his ear just fall off at 1:59?

[Platford07]

yeah it did.

[cellofingers]

Again this ain't Christian Science just a bunch of stupid actors thinking their artistic somehow. If a real Christian Scientist ever saw this they would probably just pray for these guys. Oh well life goes on....

[cartoonman1]

it's like the twilight zone.

[feeltheillinois]

dont do the drugs there

lmao

[somberlight]

@feeltheillinois, if not there, how about here then? can i do drugs here?

[aplatapuss]

WARNING: THIS IS PROBALY A JOKE! U know why? Cause this puppeteer is from the show "Tim and Eric Awesome Show", hes also a puppeteer on that show. It aires on adult swim on cartoon network at nighttime. He does the same exact weird crap and sings on the show too. Hes not in every episode but hes in some so try and find one hes in. Hope this cleared up the mystery XD.

[STFUNOWlol]

Just to be clear: Tim and Eric found David BECAUSE he was crazy. David is really a fucking loon, Tim and Eric just make a joke out of him.

[mcvicar94]

ummm, is it ok to be scared?

[LordofDarkness42]

Yes. Even death cannot save you now.

[mcvicar94]

Oh sweet Jesus

[TANTOSLOSNICKSCOGIOS]

So weird!

[D4M4G3D]

This is how crackheads are created.

I detest organized religion...this is one of the many reasons why.

[huwbean]

Don't stick us with 'em!!!

[rammybaws]

well im gonna go and get really stoned and watch an episode of this show

[bridge7777777]

This is weird, yeah, but not Christian Science.

[AbbeyNormal]

Now I know what to watch to get that extra level of freaked-outedness when I'm tripping.

[whikless]

The giraffe is called Wagner. Thats like another nazi name!

[ThedaFitzgerald]

Or a genius composer...

[CrownedWithLaurels]

Or a genius composer who was also a rabid anti-semite and bigot. Human beings are complicated, capable of both good and evil... BUT DAMN THIS SHOW IS ONLY CAPABLE OF FREAKY.

[xLordIEvilno65x]

i'd laugh, but this is actually quite creepy. y'know, like a bad acid trip?

[Javan1004]

Pause at 2:00 - and Albert's ear is falling off.

[ffscantfindausername]

My fav bit! lol

[Catazar3000]

I think their rerunning this show on Dave

[waylander1978]

What is with that puppets ear at 00:39?

[DeimosComaBlack]

It falls off shortly after.

[septentrionale]

I grew up just over the hills from this broadcast area at that time, and had no idea it existed until seeing it on Screenwipe, and for that we thank the Lord.

[BoycottStabb]

The Halloween theme music is perfect...

[Nerpha]

I always thought the point of testimony stories was to get them from real people. Getting them from puppets seems to ruin the point somewhat

[T0PSLAYER117]

Now I know what people mean when they say religion is bad. O_o

[jeunesse1979]

it kinda makes you appreciate the BBC

[LaLiLuLeLo1991]

I nearly died laughing the first time I saw this

[MrSprink]

Words fail me here, they really do.

This is an exemplary lesson in bad religious programming. Poor production values, scary puppets, comedy singing; it truly is an abomination before the Lord.

Sadly non-Christians will see this as the norm and distance themselves from the faith! Rest assured Christianity is far deeper. Read the Bible to find out more!

[elusivefish21]

@MrSprink how can words fail you so eloquently three times in a row? Are you a robot?

[OneAndForAll]

@LaLiLuLeLo1991 I just nearly died

[lukas316815]

@LaLiLuLeLo1991 i nearly died from a nervous breakdown when i first saw this!

[fuzzylugnut]

That's some great accordion playing right there.

[RadioactiveJack]

"It's all bad."

[RadioactiveJack]

AWESOME.

[gabiotta]

I think i can speak for everybody when i say, Thank Fuck I Didn't See That When I Was A Child!

[blueminerva]

David Liebe Hart is a genius.

[RockBottomRiser21]

4:15 may haunt my dreams for a few weeks to come.

[HammeredDeath]

Guy's on Tim & Eric. He's a riot.

[codeinestation]

This couldn't be anything other than bizarre performance art.... could it? Answers on a postcard please.

[psychogundamjavelin]

oh my! kids will be afraid of that...

[Art7220]

So if you notice, the first time you see the Albert puppet, his ear is stuck to his hair. Then later of course, it falls off.

This is the greatest comment ever, about the JCS videos: "I want these puppets to molest my Pee-Pee, then kill me."

[555skooterboy]

what the fuck did i just watch??? im away to roll a j

[Afinho123]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH his ear fell off at 1:59

[phunkaizer]

u'd have to take drugs to excorcise this out of you mind, growin up with this shit..

[kentrano]

hahahah omg. the puppets. bahaha.

[Angelo9123]

I went to Christian Science church services about 20 years ago - and they were dignified and prayerful - a bit like the Quakers if anything. Not as much fun as this video. Don't know who these guys are... but they're taking the piss out of Christian Science - which is fine - as long as people realise it's not the real thing.... The video is so bad it's funny ... but I prefer Wayne's World

[esob902]

This show is actually a "legitimate" Christian Science show that runs in the USA. While they may be quite different from other Christian Science folks, they're not kidding. Look them up. Mentally hilarious.

[Angelo9123]

HI esob902.. I just Googled David Liebe Hart. He's definitely nothing to do with the Christian Science church in Boston - because apparently they wanted him to change the name of his show so he didn't give a wrong impression. Also, Mary Baker Eddy never had anything to say about aliens which seems to be one of his big themes. I'm part Anglican and part CS myself (though I haven't been to church for years). This show seems really weird to me but pretty harmless - live and let live I guess!

[FATMANFALLDOWN]

creepy shit maaaaan