Douches, Kinky Chicks, and Wang

[BrauneAugen529]

"Because Obviously they haven't been with an Italian yet." I love you so much Phil!!!

[CONNETIC1]

cha brah

[chewgrein]

wow i've missed this video!

[jon10388]

Trolls and monsters in the vagina. That's why I'm gay.

[IronmanVon]

You're fucking terrible. And you're as ugly as sin. Get you're teeth fixed. And no matter how much money you make or spend. You'll still like you're face lost a fight with an ugly stick. How's that oily skin treating you?

[1313becca1313]

I love that it became your ending catch phrase later "you've just been philled in" and yes, I liked it

[DustinxEcstasy]

Got to love the shirt in the beginning. 

[missunderstoodmaniac]

lolololololol Italian men....mmmm....i love 'em....i love the German men too......heheheh....i love my German Italian man.....i want him now!! D:

[HellooHannah34]

oh hott famn PHIL! You were soo hot... like in the beginning!! What happened to you???

[JJBearPaw]

(I love all these old vids, so great you kept them up!) A year ago I would have agreed with you about the penis thing...until I met a guy who was tiny... but the way he used it... O_o If that were a party, I'd come every time

[juniorMilenko]

ive heard girth is very important... so, awkward question, is 4 inches girth decent for 9 inches in length? im only 14 so hopefully ill have time to grow if it isnt enough girth (ps, yes i am still a virgin.)

[ShadowPuppetHomocide]

I'm thin and i'm always saying kinky jokes. I think size is not as important as skill. i agree with Nahema666 guys that don't take themselves too seriously are more attractive.

[onetimeuse12]

this is old school phil, love it!

[WickedBunni]

I wouldn't know about the size thing, because I've never had sex and I'm waiting for marriage type of girl. But the kinky thing. I just like to tease and see them squirm. It's funny. xD

[Nahema666]

Good vid. Many guys try to make up for what they don't have as well, which often makes them look pathetic and unattractive. They should be cute and relaxed like you, not taking themselves so seriously.

[tiffanyterror700]

Hey Phil!

Im chubby, yes just chubby not obese, and I say kinky jokes but it's not to make up for what I'm lacking, because I'm not lacking anything at all. I just think they're funny, either way your vid was great, I think you were half talking out of your ass and half dead on, you're excellent as always!

[acdcism]

this guy telss jokes like Dane Cook

[MathausLC]

lol 'Jesus my family watches these videos'

[Plasma250]

yeah, favorite part

[Dbelp03]

hahahaha obviously you havent been with an italian yet...thats awesome..cuz im an italian

[Plasma250]

Yeah, me too! That made meh feel sexay hahah

[ATBStudios]

dude you stole indy moguls music

[youztubr]

"But, obviously they haven't been with an Italian yet." LoL

[yesjamIII]

@zrunner240Z ^this guy's got a miniwang

[zrunner240Z]

@yesjamIII well I've never gotten any complaints from your Mom

[yesjamIII]

@zrunner240Z and yet, you still wake up every morning, take a look in the mirror, and your dick's the size of a small child's. i win.

[mayo4yayo]

hey man, big is beautiful ;D

[rea5sass]

how do you come up with these things you're funny keep up the good vids. but if your family watches these films try downplaying the sex part lol

[Devoted2MACCosmetics]

Haha, NEVER downplay the sex part!  They'll manage.

[awshtin]

High five for the video! LoL you are dead on from my point of view. Can't have a skinny wang! LoL

[netcyrus]

i only beat my girlfreind when she gets out of line

[mahcuz]

"jesus, my family watch these videos"

lol

[Trixxycola1]

"they like to be 'phil'd up'"

LOL

you do have the awsome name ever!!!

[caitlenilou]

dude.

why wont this play for me phil?

[yanndick]

Something funny :

"une douche", in french, means "a shower".

So, if a girl ask you "On prend une douche ensemble ?", give my advice : say yes ! It means "let's have a shower together". ;)

[sovietgunpoint6]

You're microphone skills are amazing.

[glader03]

love the show keep doing what your doing

[LinzoIsRadd]

you are just like dane cook&i love it.

hahah.

dane cook is my hero.

[glader03]

dance cook is amazing

[CassieCol]

you remind me of dane cook

[usauk2004]

thickness over length

[akiahunt]

damn you are funny!!! but the whole ladies thing.......sorry to say but you are right!!

[natedogg092]

I HEART SWIMMING CHESS AND ROCKY

[CFrostyTheSnowman]

A little "gobble gobble" you know what I'm saying? Jesus my family watches these videos.

[ImSorryMsJackson]

LOL'd at "YES LADIES I DO live with my mom."

"girls like to be filled up"

"thickness over length"

"get phil'd in"

bahaha too many good quotes!

and idk about my...anatomy...its all just science.

[splashly121310]

no joke there is a teacher at my school whose name is mr. douche, seriously not lying...yeah

[Carnyy]

wow he is 100% poser of dane cook

[peludotortuga]

wow.

[iamchelly]

i once read a feature in a magazine (i think it was cosmo) praising small penises...like, i'm talkin' baby carrots, man. one quote from a girl the author interviewed stood out among the others. it went sorta like, "i love imagining that little pinky-sized monster swim around in my vagina." pinky-sized monster? is that the ultimate oxymoron or what?!

[Lifesthewayitis]

That was..im not gonna lie that was creepy are u somekind of rapist or somethin?

[antizain]

are you inferring your ex-girlfriend has a bad vagina, looks like a turkey, and that she's fat?

[88foxylady]

im no where near being a slut but i have to say that id do you!!!! lol.

[xqeenx]

Wow. That was rather.. graphic.

[Moonlight51]

I wouldn't mind being 'Phil'd up' ;-)

I have a friend who is a size queen. I however feel that if the guy is skilled enough and not micro, then it should be ok. Actually there was one guy, got down to it, and I was like 'ya... um... we'll see I guess' and it ended up being awesome.

[awills0711]

you are a genius!!!!

[happyemofreak]

i liked that pun haha

[DeltaForceMember13]

"A little gobble gobble" That cracked me up, your the best comedian so far, better than Dane cook!

[DKfansown]

comparing this dude to dane cook is insulting. to sxephil.

[paco1391]

this is Johnny Carson reincarnated,and uncensored...

[titania642]

thickness over length is the last cry of the chode and desperate. bitch, please. i'll take a call in the morning over a guy with a big dick any day.

[bgirlska]

i don't mean to jump on the bandwagon here, but i love you!

[boredgurl24]

1) Any 21st century woman knows that douching is not good for you.

3)as a black woman who has had sex with a white man, a black man, a mixed guy, and a woman, i can say:

a) race and size are not necessarily correlated

b) penis size is all of ONE factor that MIGHT influence how good sex is going to be. Often it isn't even a factor at all.

[boredgurl24]

oops, that second point was point number 2), nit 3), obviously

[boredgurl24]

not* 3), lol.

[earthskarma]

size queens!!! lmao!

Thickness over length!

woo-hoo!!!

I love this guy!

[MaryEGodfrey]

I love you....no seriously....

[AshenLao]

OMG i fell out of my chair when he said "jesus my family watches these videos " LOL

[rc108]

You are HOT...like really hot.

[spaz0id]

Douching leads to bacterial vaginosis.

Fact.

Ergo, don't do it, ladies.

[hellothisismeth]

You suck.

[ascott3065]

elaborate on the tongue issue....i NEED details!

[mandy307]

Yes some woman do use the douche for vaginal care but most woman would use it to clean there body for anal penitration.which is a very good thing to be honest woman should not use this product for vaginal use unless directed by your doctor due to the fact that a womans body regularly produces a fluid to clean and protect the area as certain bacteria are very good and healty just thought i would be slightly informational this is a topic i have unlimited knowledge in

[emmita321]

hahaha, i wanna be philled up!

[HaleyTheBAMF]

A little on the chauvinistic womanizing side, but I guess it was somewhat humorous.

[Zero98c]

Dude, this has to be like the funniest damn thing i have ever seen. Kudos, and I agree with what you said.

[lolard69]

hmm...not very funny.

[onetimeuse12]

haha a little gobble gobble, oh jeez my family watches this videos!

[phatcow28]

phils wisdom tends to roll around the transending of age spectrum rum dingy wich flows from the spiritual to the physcal relm of things wich is why he not recieved a beard from that magical man with an penis that traseds time and space who gows about sprinkling beard dust in the night

[phatcow28]

what a poor poor wise child

[ME4GRAFF]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­

[bangglamourgirl]

your dead on!

[MissDemeter]

Hehehe, phil'd up. hehehehehehe. That one made me laugh. As you can tell. Obviously.

[jesusanario]

haha, this is great

[BlackTigerpro]

LMAO Tolls in Vagina THAT IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER HERD!

[gjhoward]

"Jesus, my family watches these things" hahaha

[loonyluna9]

That was brilliant. I loved it. =)

[boarderbabe09]

haha i love you.

"obviously they haven't been with an italian yet".

[meganisherenow]

"jesus my family watches these videos"

LMAO

[apoathena]

yep! it's thickness over length that brings orgasm to the fullest.

[smiley66central]

dayumm u r sxe...BAHAH that was sooo llame but ur hawt!lol

[allaboutsyd12]

trolls and monsters...lol...

[onetimeuse12]

haha

[Jakky101]

Gobble, gobble. xDD Loll.

[Scyfersythe]

Your videos are awesome.

[tucsonkenny]

your funny , really tho, Bulgarians do have the biggest dicks i have ever seen

[Adamdude111]

This is funny as stuff.!

[Looch1ner]

i jus realized this but ur lil comedy style is like Dane cook.

[lisa320]

you are dead sexy.

[CherryTaylor]

Where does he get all those copys of that shirt???

[zuta182]

you hewe a lot of yes laidys i live vith my mom

[bringotp]

word italian

[Slizarus]

The pun made me cry

[sbrow46]

Dead on!

[logankavalar]

The IRISH are the biggest F$%K the ITALIANS

[kottwitzklan]

this video was funny enough. i dont wanna watch the rest.

[prottoss89]

"This is fun enough. I don't want to go on Batman the ride"

[withallmylove999]

lol philled

[canadianingeneral]

ok i am a girl and i think most girls are kinky. why do the same thing forever? and my mom was watchin this while i was and she laughed

[SpuffiedGirlie90]

At least five inches and thickness def. matters.

[taytay319]

wow, out of all the "comedy" crap on youtube, you actually make me laugh.

[canadianingeneral]

I am a girl and i say NO COMMENT

[canadianingeneral]

nice "jesus my family watch these videos"

[maregy]

hahah i love how fucking random you are

[Tinypuppies2]

lm totally guilty l've called people a douche before l know not nice lm working on it;)

Most of us women have kinky in us,and no a big penis isnt good just painful.

[ginginnyme]

At least 5 inches and knows what to do with it. Large and not a clue? hospital visit!!

[wwegirl17]

you do gave the perfect name

[Gowna07]

LOL is this kid serious? dude, he's kinda cool man.

[ibondurmom]

he sounds just like dane cook a little bit younger

[jalisae]

haha a lil gobble gobble

[babablacksheep125]

U remind me of dane cook

[MissDemeter]

They like to be philled up, lol. You are so funny.

[ragdollpics]

you stole that intro song from indy mogul..

[zQWASZX]

hahaha, bril as allways, Phil me up.. lol, i think i am gonna change my name... lol

[Lamplitesunshine]

width > length

[Amandalynnei]

this is kinda rude, disappointing phil

[roxyremix]

Guys that are big down there, aren't good at anything else because they think they don't have to be. My guy is a perfect size AND he's got oral skills, amongst other things. What's the point of a big dick if you can't get a girl excited enough to want it? I'm just saying, my ex had a big wang and he couldn't get me off as quickly or as often as my current. So, does size matter? No...unless your really small, then you'd better have a strong tongue and long fingers.

[GoGlowy]

lets not have long SKINNY fingers

EW!

[zoeshane]

LMFAO, niice :P

[UrbanGangsta1]

Your funny. keep up the good work!

[kingofallthepeople]

phil my good man this is lil k9 do u girls like it when u have hairy ass nuts or have clean n smooth?

[LadeeComplex]

ur sooo funi!

[RAE9290]

u are fuckin hilarious. phil'd up. haha

[SaraxThexVampire]

Lol. omg i think you are HILARIOUS. im like in love with you lol.

[alexa567]

phil. you're freakin' hilarious.

and unlike the other viewers, i don't think you're trying to be like dane cook. from the videos i've seen, i think that if you were trying to be like him or copy his comedy you would've probably said you were.

OVERALL. you're funny, keep doing what you're doing.

[TehNublar]

"jesus my family watches these videos" LOL

[SPINAGE666Cripple]

Whenever people call me a douche, trying to be offensive i look at them strangly and shrug. i know that i serve the same purpose as a douche bag...

[PunkRock4Life222]

I think the fact that people compair you to a professional comedian is more of a complement. I mean you don't see people insulting music on youtube by saying "It's not as good as the God of Rock did it".

[Rianthionowns]

this guy is so much funnier than dane cook, dane cook sucks

[Britshit2]

Umm.

Watch Dane Cook Much?

You Totally Ripped Off His Comedy.

I Mean Don't Get Me Wrong It's Funny.

But Dane Cook Is Better.

[NYNY173]

DANE COOK IS NOT !!! FUNNY

[Shatonmedeek]

haha wow. dane cook blah blah....

[blondeebitch]

hey do u have a myspace?

[jonny859]

Superstar wants to action the shirts he just played in.

Kindda like Beckham or Bryant.

lol

But your still funny.

[xDreamGuardx]

i think the reason your so easy to laugh at is that you talk about true things that noone else has the time to think about....you made my day today....

[mikel470]

umm it wont go past like 1:05 idk why but i wanna see the REST!! fucking hilarious i emailed like 22 ppl already ur great..

[wickitninja4lyfe]

thats the way I make up for it clippy lol. phil is the master of rants

[clippychick420]

Of course size matters! The person who started that "Size doesn't matter" saying was probably a dude with a little dick. If you have a little wang, you better compensate by being a mean eater!

[courtazchick]

hahhaha ur so fucking funny.. whats ur myspace url?

[babyemo94]

Batman the ride is awesome!! Great term of Doouche. U r a vagina and ur friend is a douche!! I love these videos. u r right!! not talkin outta ur ass in my opinion. lol.

[7685Erik]

good job for pointing out the obvious baby emo

dumbass

[babyemo94]

Hey I wasn't talking to you so yeah. I was stating my opinion and if you don't like that than suck off!!

[7685Erik]

haha your funny suck off

[babyemo94]

Ik! Lol!

[allikat420]

as long as you can lick it is all good to me i love my italian boyfriend and his dick your a funny funny guy

[Kilarah]

Size does not matter...

[Luy22]

This guy needs his own show on comedy central god dammit

[shelbycobra131]

You really remind me a lot of Dane Cook. You have the same sort of mannerisms as him. I like the videos though. Keep it up

[juggalette420xx]

dude.. do you get paid for doing this?!

[luvs2dnc400]

hahahaha guys ask girls all the time if "size really does matter". most of the time i say yes just to make them worry. lol but to me no.

[decreasetherisk]

Don't be stupid. Size matters.

[wanky448]

who the fuck talks on their cell with their elbow way the fuck in the air??? oh yeah, this guy the douche poser!

[Dousch]

HAY! im a Dousch! :)

[alasia2007]

are you italian ha

[Pikamas10]

you made my day ..

[Venomousnvicious]

My husband's name is also Phil... can't forget the line my mother spouted when she told us she wanted a grandbaby. "Fill her Phillip!" You are amazing.

[ZaxzonRockStar]

Im a "plus" girl i guess and the kink is true...OH GOD, do your parents read this too?!?!

[abbsfc06]

LMAOOO!!! "they like to be "philled" up...i didnt get it until you mentioned ur name. and then i laughed...really really hard. and paused to make this comment.

ok unpause.

[jordan1980]

i love it. you make my kinkiness come to life. lol

[slapingtheone]

i see no link 2 ebay

[kcorona89]

Phil ur song RULES!!! Oh and u do remind me of Dane Cook.

[dabeisyin]

philled up lol

[Gotterdamerung]

Dude, you're like the illegitimate love child of Dane Cook and Ben Stiller and I dig it.

[AshelyUchiha12]

Maybe I should log onto my own account. But still. MARRY ME.

[horsesrmystyle]

that was so funny, but the whole thing about having sex in the bed that u grew up in... yah well umm i had a bunk bed. lol

[dhardman0422]

Fantastic..my friend!

[MCC118]

LOL! funny !!!

Search "sister Mary Elephant" and go to ours...MCC118 mear the bottom!