Darryl Cross - Negative Self-Talk

[Enerjee]

This is called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and works for most problems people encounter. I went through a short programme of it to treat the problem I had with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).

This is a very good presentation.

[homuserrantis]

Dr. Darryl,

This talk is really great. I am in a negative wave for a long time now and I can't manage to get rid of it. I know for sure the cause of my negative emotions, which is being in a place I don't want to be and stuck into a financial, professional and social crisis. However, I have been reasoning that the trigger have caused my feelings (and I am struggling to change the situation). However, this insight of the thoughts in between was brilliant. Thanks. I'll take your challenge!

[dreggan]

Good presentation and useful material - except for the constant lip smacking ! The salivary 'tisk' sound every time you talk is very distracting! Although maybe it's just me......

[homuserrantis]

@dreggan

Hi dreggan, actually I didn't notice it. Then I re-watched the vid and this happens once or another but it seems natural to me, don't bother me. He has an excellent diction and for me this dominates the talk.

[TheHillsInTheUK]

Simple, logical & well presented. Dave UK

[finnenvenn]

Thank you for a great video

[finnenvenn]

Thank you for a great video

[djarmosco]

Dr. Darryl,

First of all I love your name! Second great visual this is spot on. I'm a Life Coach so if you don't mind I may use the visual with my clients. The most important piece to this is doing the new thought. Most people get it intellectually but don't take the next step and condition the new thought (belief). As you know our behavior comes from our deeper mind (subconscious) and that's where the change needs to take place. Doing it one time could work if the intensity is there.

Darryl

[drdarrylcross]

@djarmosco Hi Darryl, Thanks for your comments, and yes, you're quite right in that it's not only identifying that you have faulty self-talk in the first place, it's being disciplined enough to sit down and re-work that thought so that you can replace it with a better and more positive thought that then becomes integrated and part of who you are. Go well.

Darryl Cross

[shannonasalways]

Wow, I had a vague understanding of this in my mind but my thoughts were much more muddled up. Seeing it drawn out like this is so effective. Thank you :)

[drdarrylcross]

@shannonasalways

Hi, Thanks for your comments. Life is really more simple than we think sometimes; we just tend to make it more complicated than it ought to be. Go well.

Darryl Cross

[armaityjm]

That is a very simple explanation , kind that one would definitely want to try for ones own benefit n for the benefit of others around us

Thnx Darryl :0)

[benbie]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh u are awesome

[krstajic]

..my calming down, will not change rude pepole, so with this reexplaintion of my self reality, noting is solved, except calming down for a moment, or a morning. Im not adapting to a rude people-situation...thats shure :) !

[olimbay]

Thanks Dr.Cross,

your lectures are really helpful, could you please tell me is there is any book I can learn more about these issues

[parru78]

Hello Dr Darryl Cross, I have seen this video, its amazing i haven't started practicing it but the explanation is so crystal clear, i have a feeling if i do this i will defiantly get great benefits of it. thanks lot, great accent mate cheers...

[Tommydudez]

some Aussie accent mate..i been to perth studying for 2 years and this accent reminds me everything there.

[reddog12341]

I find it more helpful to make the emotional states into statements: "I cannot live without my girlfriend who has left me" Next, we question that statement, point out its irrationalities and rewrite a more accurate statement which actually changes the emotional charge: " I know it will be very tough to be without her to be without her, but I'm a good guy, I have a lot to offer and I'll find someone soon." Specific statement seem to make easier targets for change.

[drdarrylcross]

@reddog12341

Hi, I agree that it's all about being able to change your first automatic (and generally negative statement) into a more rational statement which puts the situation into a better perspective. Your "girlfriend" statement is a good example of how to turn around your thoughts so that a person can feel better.

[wingchunbingfa]

Thanks so much for pósting thís up

[itsmystyledontcopyit]

thanks mate this is amazing it does work to build self confidence

[overthehilltowin3]

You should draw another arrow from "C" to "B" to make the chart more accurate.

Our emotions also sometimes trigger our thoughts.

For example, if I hear an odd sound in the middle of the night I might immediately get startled and then think, "What's that noise? Where is it coming from? Let me have a quick look outside."

In this case the emotion (being startled) precedes the thought which leads to action.

[drdarrylcross]

@overthehilltowin3

Thanks for the tip. I do actually draw the arrow back from "C" back to "B" when I'm working with clients in my office. You're right that it would have been helpful to have done it on the video. Good observation.

[brittania1974]

additionally I have met very few individuals who 'get it' and whom actually THINK, people may be thinking, thinking of themselves, people are the living dead and perhaps you are over estimating their capacity of love, compassion, empathy etc, etc.

[drdarrylcross]

Thanks for the comment. In my experience, it is certainly true that there are many people who lack self-awareness. These people generally won't be told or do not take kindly to advice. In these cases, I suggest that simply asking them questions about their situation, or highlighting the discrepancies in how they might be living is a way to get them thinking. People change for their reasons not yours. The strategy is getting them to think and reconsider. Questions do this.

Best, Darryl

[brittania1974]

Darryl.

I am pleasantly surprised and appreciate that you responded from a thoughtful and kind place. I believe that your intentions are real and genuine.

I had a conversation yesterday who talked about 'everyone being so selfish, cruel, mean and miserable' and that 'they don;t care about him, so why should he care about anyone else.

He abused my kindness and I explained to him that all of the above applies to himself and it's easier to 'blame' others. His ego kicked in and he disappeared.

[brittania1974]

I don't think there are too many people in the world who truly want to change, they do not notice their behavior and believe they can do no wrong. When they are confronted or something is brought to their attention they do not like it, they do not CARE to hear it and make adjustments in the form of understanding and kindness. We live in a society and world that is about the 'self' and most people are unconscious and do not truly care. Narcissists and sociopaths.

[warn81]

I've always had negative thoughts about myself ....this year I'm trying to change that...

[jcraver1]

Great stuff!!

[demeatrist]

All great points!

Thank you for this!!

[drdarrylcross]

Thanks for taking the time to view.

This is one of the secrets of creating a positive life. Without doubt, in all the coaching and clinical work that I've ever done, those who see the cup as half full rather than half empty seem to cope with life much more effectively.

All the very best in your life journey!

Best regards, Darryl

[littlesun313]

You are great! I am just trying to search for all your videos. Your work is definitely meaningful. Negative thoughts struck me sometimes so quicly but could stay for a long quile. They really pulled me down. They could be so dominating in my own world and because they are inside it's hard to get rid of them. But I have a firm belief in your coach and would try it!! Great work!

[NightJay0044]

this is a great simplistic video, great cycle on how our mind works. Thank you

[drdarrylcross]

Thanks for your comment. Appreciate that you took the time to make comment.

Best regards,

Darryl

[bioedphilosophy]

Mr Cross, thank you. We are such dummies sometimes. Your easy solutions are what the times call for!

[drdarrylcross]

It is kind of you to comment. I hope it helps you on your life journey, and yes, you're right in that life doesn't have to be complicated.

Best regards,

Darryl

[PeterDaScriptGuy]

Wow! You are amazing!! Thank you sooo much for making it simplistic!! So basically, what you want us to do is "counter-attack" our negative thoughts and fill our minds with positive thoughts in case negativity tends to creep into our minds? Again, thank you! God bless you! =)

[drdarrylcross]

Thanks for your supportive comments.

Yes, you're quite right. It is about learning to counter-attack as you say. The best way to learn to do this and teach your brain how to "re-think" in a more positive way is to write down your thinking. This is a key. All the best in your brain re-training!

Best regards, Darryl

[haiduong123]

thanks for sharing all the videos. they are very helpful.

[drdarrylcross]

Thanks for taking the time to let me know.

All the best on your journey.

Darryl Cross

[drdarrylcross]

Thanks for your kind comments. Much appreciated.

Best regards, Darryl Cross

[nav4videos]

Very easy and simple to understand. Thank you for your video sir.