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From: guaii
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  • He talks about Reality T.V. back then. I would love to see what he says about it now. xD

  • \m/ Bill Maher \m/

  • aw, there are cool people from texas.

  • @myusq To smack some sense into those idiots that think Bush was a good leader, who think that being a democrat equals being a communist and who don't understand that there is no god. But then, dear myusq, you wouldn't know...

  • @myusq No, Bush is the joke, but he is not funny. Bill is. At least Bill Maher doesn't have the deaths of hundreds of people on his hands, but Bush is so stupid he probably thinks he is playing with those toy soldiers.

  • "I can't remember the truth" killed me :D

  • ...If only he knew what would happen...

  • because you are just stupid... ...stupid is and stupid does... ...aou do not know where your country is on a map and you wouldn't be even able to communicate with anyone if they didn't learn your language... ...maybe that is the reason you like to kill everyone outside of your country (well actually even in your country)...

  • 173cm... I didn't know he was that short.

  • 8:00 XD better than jack nicholson.

  • I wish people would stop confusing George W. Bush for a "country boy". He was born in Connecticut and while he grew up in Texas, even there he was surrounded by the upper crust. His own wife poked fun of the fact that he'd never lived in a rural area and didn't know how to do much other than clear brush. Which is exactly what he did all day.

    Texas is the size of France and the second most populous state in the union with half the population arriving here in the last 30 years. Not all rednecks!

  • can you imagine that idiot bush in vietnam... ahaha walking like a monkey in middle of the jungle running home to texas crying for his daddy, the biggest fucking cowar sended ppl to war and then dodge the war, piece of shit

  • Bill should stick to his show because his standup doesn't work most of the time; his timing is off and he laughs at his own jokes too much. He makes some good points while others fall flat. I watch his show but wouldn't pay to see him.

  • Does the crowd really need to clap after every 2 sentences...

  • 23 people don't speak english.

  • No worries man

  • 4:40 onone from Texas can be president

  • Justin do me ! Justin do me !

  • 6:39 :O

  • I'm from Texas and yes there are TONS of fucking idiots here. I want to punch people in the face on a daily basis. I shit you not, there are ultra conservative lesbians here. Texas is for sure a crazy place.

  • @MDizzle3282 Ultra conservative lesbians? that makes no sense! hahahaha

  • @MDizzle3282 Fucking hilarious. You get a cookie.

  • Texas is for the USA what bavaria is for us germans. :D

  • @Stalin111

    Well, let´s be honest.......not for all Germans.....

  • In 2007 the President didn't!.

  • 1:00 The President does have a permanent tan!

  • 22 people are not swiss ...

  • It's A Texas Thing JAJAJAJA

  • is this funny

  • I've lived in Texas all my life. It's sad that even Texans are perpetuating his exact words. Bill Maher is a comedian and is exaggerating.

    I am also an atheist, and I have never met a person who looked down on me for that. Even people from Texas can respect other peoples' views. Grow up please.

    On the abstinence issue, abstinence does NOT work because it only teaches not to have sex. Teenagers need to be educated on SAFE sex. Teen sex is inevitable, abstinence will never work for all teens.

  • Bill Maher would run your country far better than all your presidents altogether :) seriously people - either you wake up or you go down the toilet, cause the rest of the world is starting not to respect you for your ignorance :/

  • I love Bill Maher!!!

  • @Gytrash23 Wow. That whole concept is inconceivable to me. I couldn't live like that and feel free. You have a lot more strength than me - I don't think I could handle staying there.

  • @Gytrash23 An atheist in Texas? That must be one hell of an existence. I couldn't imagine living somewhere where the general populace would look down on me because I didn't believe the same fairy tales that they did... where I'd have to be careful in some company what I say about my personal beliefs

  • O MAH GOSH SADM HAS A DEATH RAY

  • i did not see a single black guy in there

  • Subway! randomness

  • only 2 parts? where's the rest of the show?

  • People from Texas cannot be President. This should be a constitutional amendment!

  • Love the part about so-called "reality shows". Worst shit EVER referred to as "entertainment"...

  • Carlin did that pirate costume joke before but in a different context.

    Bill Maher is great though!

  • Bill Maher supports Obama

  • @Cioppa182

    Yet hates Bush, bit sad he can't seem there is no difference between them.

  • @TheAsfaloth he doesn't like Obama that much, he liked John Edwards, but supported Obama over the campaign after the affair. He has been bashing him for not doing what he promised if you watch the show.

  • Bill looks better now with short hair. 

  • Part 3 please.

  • 22 Texans watched this 

  • I think Maher is quite funny. But quite honestly, he's the democrat version of Bush. His perspective is just as narrow as Bush's perspective, which is quite noticeable in the religion topic. I'm not the religious type myself, but I think that considering that all people that believe in God are plain morons is more naive than believing that God made the world in a week

  • @BenkosG Eh no. Maher does not believe that all people that believe in God are plain morons. He has stated that religious faith is probably a neurological disorder. I interpreted that statement to mean that religious faith is the result of psychological pathologies. How else would one explain the existance of different, mutually exclusive religions? Believing in something for which there is no objective reason, and weak ethical reason to believe, is, if not moronic, then at least primitive.

  • 1.06

    HAHA, ONLY in America do people care who their politic leaders fuck which is honestly pretty sad.

  • i have a 20 page paper due tmr, but fuck that bill maher's the shit!

  • Other countries point the finger at america so easily. America is now the mock nation, but meanwhile, every fuckin country is turning out to be just as bad. You see our phony leaders on the news all the time with their smiles and hand shakes. Everyone bowed down to the US when they went to war in the middle east, AGAIN. That shows what cowards we have as heads of state. puppets the lot of them

  • at like 6:45 he gives the signal when talking about bush and clinton! scary

  • I'd rather have Berlesconi as head of country than the idiot George W Bush!

  • You know you're getting older when you see some kid asking..."What's a Draft-Dodger?"

  • @toobularbells yeah, also a sign of poor education not knowing what the draft was.

  • New rule: Know where your presidents are from. Bush is from Maine, not Texas, he just want's people to think he was :P

  • @SPositron Well he was governor. That places his psyche truly there.

  • I give him credit, he doesn't pander to the average braindead American like some politician or marketing type.

  • Draft dodger?

    

  • @Anakoluti

    A draft dodger is omeone who avoids going to war. Its from when people got drafted without choice and chose not to go.

  • @Pha7Pa7 Cheers :)

  • where's the rest ? :(

  • i salute draft dodgers, tax dodgers, objectors, rebellers, and anyone else that doesnt comply with the orders of an oppressive, retarded government

  • @longfootbuddy rebellers? rebels.

  • @MountMarcyNY rebellinos

  • lets not give it up for the "kids" that are over there mindlessly carrying out absurd orders

  • Saddam Hussein has a death ray, lol

  • "I don't remember the truth." Was that a reference to the hearings where the henchmen couldn't remember their crimes? Why am I laughing so hard when this monologue just brings back awful memories? xD

  • When midgets are getting popular morality is in decline. At the end of Soviet Union there were many midgets in movies, on TV, in concerts. Somebody has to study this.

  • @Dimy761 Yes that is why Palin is so popular, she is the smallest mental midget

  • @MountMarcyNY She is worse, she is pro-life

  • @mistytrick

    thin how much how WE are embarassed by berlusconi :(

  • is the comedy stand up or a fucking rant ?

  • @ironintel Your point is?

  • @ironintel fucking rant still funny ha!

  • @mistytrick

    not really...

  • You want the truth!??!?!.. I can't remember the truth.. hahaha

  • 21 people can't think for themselves.

  • Comment removed

  • Such a great line! LOL

    "Why cant we be one of those countries where the president has a permanent tan, and expensive suits and a versace mistress. There are pictures of them f**king on a boat, but nobody cares because thats amore! Why cant we be that country?!?!"

  • He's very funny, but I have to point out that Bush was just a patsy for the neocons.

  • I don't milk a yak for $25 million!!!

  • i know how to fix the economy, sell texas to mexico :)

  • why do so many people talk about who they voted for for president, We do not elect the president, the electoral colledge does. Why dont people remember that from high school? Maybe if enough people were informed we could unite and get rid of the electoral colledge and our vote might mean something.

  • Fuck I almost died laughing when he mentioned goat hunters not wanting 25 millions dollars. LMAO.

  • LOL!! at the texas thing

  • 108 up comments for someone that misspells "border"?

  • @groundzer077 the point is valid.

  • @groundzer077 it's not how you spell, it's what you spell. you, dumb piece of shit

  • @tubehiki spoken like a true scholar. By the way, there isn't a comma between 'you' and 'dumb'.

  • i don't think it'd be a big deal if they had sex on the stage in front of those people

  • "which people? these assholes?" hahaha

  • im gay... will the army even draft me? im 19... but id just tell the general "i like weiners"... im sure he'd kick me out lol... im also a left wing social democrat, they would hate me in the army... id be like "guys... why are we even fighting? is this country a threat?" they would kick me out in a week for unmoralizeing the troops, and it wouldent be my fault

  • Why are Pirates called Pirates?

    Because they Arrrrh.

    America fought a big war with Mexico over Texas. The US lost and were forced to keep Texas.

  • @gamesbok lucky mexicans lol

  • What's the lion ate Roy thing a reference to?

  • @IcyScythe

    "Roy" is from Sigfried and Roy- they are/were Las Vegas entertainers that *used* captive wild cats in their show. One of the animals that were a part of their show -- one can assume that they were unwillingly so -- attacked Roy and injured him rather extensively. FWIW- I thought that the animal is/was a tiger.

  • You tell 'em Fluffy. They hate us for our freedom! That's right.. ROFL!!!

    haha oh my god and the bounty on Bin Laden.. yep, no wonder we've garnered that fame of stupid in the world

  • Awesome

  • He does this \m/ a lot...rock on O-O!

  • The whole texas and cowboy thing made me ROFL.

  • I'm from Europe but I heard the south is more religious...religious people should stay the fuck out of politics, seriously.

  • @Londron true, unfortunately the opposite is reality in the US

  • @Londron wow, i'm so glad someone like you actually said something that's true and not discriminative to americans. only to religious people, and who the fuck cares about them. lol

  • @Londron and unfortunately for the rest of us, your continent is just about the only one to recognize that. I cant wait till even one part of the US becomes more like western europe

  • @Londron The Bible belt starts in southern Indiana and encompasses the southeast basically. Religion and politics absolutely don't mix. The problem is that religion is a damn good campaign tactic.

  • @Londron i'm from the south and i can tell i consider myself religious and i wish the religious people would live in reality. mainly stuff like abstinence works, but the highest teen pregnancy rates are in what is considered the bible belt in the U.S.

  • @wcoleman99 There's such a thing as being religious AND rational. But let's face it, The Bible and TV have really regressed our nation back to the times of cave-people. As for teen pregnancy, these kids are clearly carrying out God's will for them to be fruitful and multiply. Abstinence obviously doesn't work. However, Darwin would call this "survival of the twittest"

  • @Londron Lol yep. I live in Texas and I'm not embarrassed... I'm ASHAMED.

  • @Londron

    Yeah, try living here. haha. no wonder so many people hate america.

  • @explizidace Just so you know I am not from the States, but I do not hate America! I do dislike your politicians because of their foreign policy, BUT I love your culture and I wanna visit your country like crazy.

  • All the members of the audience are pink and round...like cute little pigs :)

  • Wasnt LBJ from Texas?

  • "new rule people from Texas can't be president"

    and Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee and the whole south

  • Galleria at Haliburton Square! I love it! That says it all.

  • @spikutus Would you be able to explain that part for me please?

  • BUSH ISN'T TEXAN!!!!

  • @LittleChikadee No, he just thinks he is...lol

  • @LittleChikadee

    Isn't he from Massaschusatts?

    (How it now is fucking spelled)

  • talk shit about TX all day, but remember 37% of the military is Texan's. so apparently you pussy ass yanks need us cowboys.

  • @ANCHORSaweighMYboys to do what?

  • where's 3rd part?

  • I'm a Texan and He's spot-on. I'm constantly surrounded by fucking morons.

  • Do americans really have Midget-Dating tv shows?

  • What happened to part 3?

  • Midget dating show? Is there actually such a thing?

  • Interesting point about Bush in a costume. However I'm feeling that a cowboy outfit is the US's national dress.

  • Right-Wingers are so hypocritical - they love liberal culture, movies, tv, las vegas, but they speak out against liberals and do things like attack actors because a majority are liberal leaning - do Conservatives really expect their conservative close-minded values to be openly praised by people in places like Las Vegas?

  • @Claronium780 liberal culture and the liberal political party are ALOT different

    get your facts right

  • @TwistedComplex what the f are you talking about? I am completely right

  • @Claronium780 ok, theres a class in my collage called "liberal arts" do you REALLY think theyre referring to people like john carrey or obama? or are they referring to artists?

  • @TwistedComplex

    ... it's spelled college... lol

  • @goodmourning1039 thank you, hardass, have anymore useless comments?

  • @TwistedComplex Well, sir, If I have anything else that might be worthy of your approval, I'll just ask beforehand so you don't get offended like the last time, how bought' that? Maybe if you're going to reference how you're in a higher education level to show off how much you know to everyone, you should at least spell it right.

  • where r the other parts?

  • its never for free, its an investment oportunity, you must think US is doing anything but stealing OIL and paving the way to making new consumers for american products out of iraq. and FYI USA aren´t the only ones helping. u think they are because that is what you see in the highly censored tv in america. brazilian army has always been a helping hand in haiti for the UN.

  • itsot thateveryoneates us untl theres a disaster, thn they take our money happily... its tht werefeinmoney period, wednt even gve the most foreign aid, that woud be the UN and the UE.

  • You're not the only country that helps in disasters. You are the richest.

    Japan sent $750,000,000 in tsunami relief. .

  • oh wow I didnt even know that

  • Well you vote for them, so figure it out.

  • "Bush's two-dimensional mind" lol!!!

  • He's got Bush 100% right.

    PS: No one hates you for your freedom, we hate you because your country is run by assholes.

  • i second that

  • lmao I live in the US and i agree with you

  • Happy to oblige. Ain't it the truth!

  • I thought a writer at Cracked had it right: "They don't hate us for our freedom, they hate us because we use our freedom to create 'The Hills.'"

  • @expatted Im american and I hate bush. hes a war criminal and belongs in prison

  • @expatted i love you.

  • Run by assholes and populated by assholes XD

  • @expatted and corrupt ignorant liars

  • @expatted

    You know, I didn't need to hear that from you...

    But the rest of America over here needs that message kicked up their asses HARD.

  • @expatted you should run for international mediator, because you make the world a better place, really, you do all you can

  • You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!

  • kobi style! hahahha

  • "Reality" Shows are.....I mean.....wow. Bullshit and cruelity.

  • 4:50 That dude must be from Texas.

  • The Fox Network... so true... so scary... so dangereous... wake up America!!

  • The moment at 6:35 is cool. :D

  • Interesting, he never quite lets the audience know he's not calling them stupid.

  • Texas is to the states as Bavaria is to Germany...a bunch of separatist backward chauvinists...Fortunately, there has never been a bavarian chancellor in Germany ;-)

  • Wasn't Hindenburg bavarian? I'm not being a smartarse, I seriously thought he was. Set me straight if he wasn't. He was president or something though wasn't he?

  • Prussian, not Bavarian

  • Can't blame you for saying that--the odds of an actual Bavarian who speaks English and liberal enough to be watching Bill Maher reading your comment had to be outrageously tiny. Sorreee, though. =)

    Separatist tendencies, maybe. Backward chauvinists? Somehow, it's the rest of the country that shows me oppression of Turkish minorities, a place in the kitchen for women, and a truly phenomenal clinging to religious hierarchy.

  • TSERTON: Hi:) GREAT point.

    jd

  • BMW's are'nt very good either.I know.I used to own a few.However,they are better than what Texans could come up with.

  • depends where the bm is produced, in poland and in germany they are tough quality cars, straight up and down

  • What about Ludwig Erhard? ;-)

  • The only thing I don't like about Bill Maher is that he named the Bush Parrot Fluffy. Fluffy is not a good name for a bird of any sort...

  • Well, now we do have a president with a permanent tan. :D

  • People in Texas need to Stay in Texas. Fuck the Mexican Boarder, lets build a wall around the Texas Boarder.

  • @Sav3TheWorld I heard from Stephen Colbert you try to keep mexican's out by putting your worst states at the border.

  • @Sav3TheWorld lmao awwww come on now, dont be ignorant.

  • @Sav3TheWorld If people from Texas stayed in Texas then we wouldn't have had a Texan president in Washington D.C. pass the Civil Rights Act. If Texans stayed in Texas then 3 of the 12 men who walked on the moon would've had their talents wasted. There are many more contributions from Texas, but I think I made my point.

  • @Sav3TheWorld Learn to spell fucking border first retard, and Ron Paul lives in Texas, and even Bill admitted to Ron Paul being fucking awesome.

    Ron Paul is our best bet for sure.