Tales From The Crypt - The Assassin Part 3/3

[DiarrheaChain]

Break the fourth wall, ya!

[xAiiRPLANES]

Oh fuck.. She fed her friends human.. oh god lolol. xD

[pinksuadeA1]

lol@warriorsfan19

[mocococco123]

Wait was this a kids show ? please answer

[kurumilover2003]

@mocococco123 No, this was originally aired on HBO with blood/gore, nudity, sexual situations and profanity. When moved to local television, they, of course, censored what was deemed necessary and knocked it down to a TV PG rating (Ratings were different back then, mind you. There was more leeway) Then they made the animated versions for kids later.

[Virur]

omg wtf have i come to? i actually lol'd at the lame joke at the end

[23Jilani]

quit while your a head o.O lame jk

[accomplishedmission]

In the beginning when the wife said "of course honey, what else would I be?" I sarcastically said a man! How ironic. Lol

[tightsparten337]

0:50.... auto erotic asphyxiation

[legocontrollerjr]

you know, I have always wondered what human flesh tastes like. ps no bones please. now i know where to go.

[dianalee84]

@legocontrollerjr when I was a young teen I was homeless,and hungout in Tompkins square park in NYC, and since there were alot of homeless people there,charities used to come w/food,for the homeless.Anyway, there was a creepy older guy,named Daniel Rackowitz,who hung around us.One Sunday when all the charities came with food,he turned up with a pot of stew..all us kids knew he was a creep and didn't eat it,but other people did. It was his girlfriend in the stew. True story.

[abbotluv]

dude she was hot

[darzinth]

"Quit while you're a head."

[Suedeheadlover]

Lesson # God knows what: Never fuck with one of Charlie's Angels - no matter how much they've changed.

[freddy90883]

GRAT SHOW

[finallyonenick1]

I used to watch Tales from the crypt when I was a Kid! and I used to learn Engish reading over and over again the subtitles... 20 years later i can still remember the scripts I know them by heart!... "of course I am honey what else would I be"

[dianalee84]

@finallyonenick1 Awww,that's a really great story,and your written English is better than many Americans! :)

[finallyonenick1]

@dianalee84 Thanks a lot! You have a wonderful 2012... Regards From Argentina!

[iRiEViSiOnZ420]

A mans worst nightmare at 4:14 lmao!

[wizfan92301]

@iRiEViSiOnZ420 yeah defintly is!!!

[vanzXcyRus]

yeah..high heels can kill someone..

[GROZNAYA]

things like :39- :55 should happen in real life to corey feldman.

[itzvincentx3]

I don't quite get the last part and did the girl cut the assassin apart?

[MsZane2010]

O_O

[lovegod6000]

*Producers/creators of the show many episodes later...* "Hey. Let's do another Tales from the Crypt movie. We'll take the epilogue and prologue of this episode. Hey. Let's just get William Sadler to do the same lines with the Crypt Keeper. And let's get Corey Feldmen again. Can't go wrong with him. We'll call it, 'Bordello of Blood'. Brilliant." LOL

[eric69]

oh, the puns!

[horrorvictim]

I KNEW IT!!!

[LokitheCajun]

Ok..... WORST ASSASSINS EVER! They get ripped apart by a homemaker.......

[LokitheCajun]

@LokitheCajun Ok...... Finished the video...... That was the scariest trick ending EVAS!

[Fry356]

7:06 AAAAAAHHH

[lxassassinxl]

"quit while youre ahead", its funny cause he IS a head. You see? Its a pun.

[darknessxxxxxxxxxxx]

shes a man

[deathmauler181]

Back when kid's Television wasn't so childish

[coffeetea720]

Though the voice change thing was a little off-putting, this was a really cool episode. Nice twist.

[coffeetea720]

She (or he, whatever) must be a hell of a housewife if she could get that blood out of the carpet, chop the bodies up, and cook them into a nice dinner in under 2 hours. That's talent.

[jdivina15]

so does that mean he's gay or bisexual

[bestgamer2112]

@jdivina15 nope just a cover up because he is the greatest assassin

[SageTheAtheist]

XD XD XD "What else would I be"



[SageTheAtheist]

I had never seen this one, awesome!!!!

[Misfitspunk1023]

MIND FUCKED! :O

[Distrub122334]

lol me and my little brother were watching this dam now what am i gonna tell him about the back positions part please someone anyone can you guys tell me something can say

[dreamergirl01621]

@Distrub122334 haha the best thing i can thinl of is they were going torun on the tredmill together.

[930Studios]

4:14 WHAT THE FUCK!!?!??! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­HHHHH THE CRYING GAME!!!

[LeMarkshow]

i like much all of the  tales from the crypt but they are all so predictable...

[rebelspirit1000]

AWESOME

[0bsidianSkye]

Pfft xD epic.

[SoulConstruct]

I remember being chilled as a kid when I saw the woman being dragged across the floor leaving a blood trail behind her, with a ruined hand that would now never heal. As an adult, I now find it to be great acting =)

[crackmonster99]

I saw it coming. trannies and cannibalism- you gotta love the 90's.

[warriorsfan19]

So when she said she was a "woman with balls", she meant it! lol

[sauzemonie]

Now its for adults

[Wdss21MetallicA]

0:30 - Damn... LOL... WTF?!... Am I on youtube?

[cheznar]

Everything sucks now... I'm gonna go kill myself......

[zara958]

does anyone know what episode has a woman getting decapitated on the stairs? i remember watching it one night when i was a kid but can't find it, can't even remember what the storyline was, an affair or something.

[cenakruegerlover]

i would've been happy if that was me, without the killing me part

[sweetdictator]

A woman with balls?... hey thats my worst nightmare too.

[loveofGod7]

Oh my gosh; I ACTUALLY figured it ALL out before the end! That's crazy!!! I MUST be pretty damn twisted to get it all befiore it was revealed to me!!! Maybe I've seen too many CSI and Law and Order shows... I dunno, but to be honest I wasn't really surprised or grossed out; I actually thought it was pretty damn funny, to me at least...

[loveofGod7]

I used to watch this show as a little kid ALL THE TIME!!! Loved it!!! I don't think I ever saw this one before though, and I haven't finished it yet; I paused the video to leave this comment. I bet you she's PROBABLY the man and got a sex change and all that so they wouldn't find out who she is and where she (or really he) is. I can't wait to finish the end to see if I am right or not. If I am this will be one of the first few times that I figured out a movie before the ending. We'll see, huh!?

[LiteSwitch100]

ew.

[jonesing82]

who didn't see that coming?

[Jesus1027]

what the fucks wrong with the people who made this show

[poetrygirl450]

shoulda taken the dang heels off!

[MySweetPapaya]

This was a kid's show?!!!! O__O

[Tennyoakana]

@MySweetPapaya No....there was a cartoon for kids...but this wasn't it.



[MsSharkDemon]

@MySweetPapaya No and yes. This version is mostly for adults. While the ANIMATED version "Tales From The Crypt Keeper" is for kids.

[fireman24465]

@MySweetPapaya i don' think it really was just more of that it ended up like that and they didn't really mean for it to

[yodelr]

@MySweetPapaya No. the kid's version was a cartoon.

[zackhanscom]

@MySweetPapaya one of those pg kind of kid shows

[madkittyjoey70]

@MySweetPapaya no way would i recommend this show 4 children! :-S

[Genericgorefan]

@MySweetPapaya no, Tales From The Cryptkeeper was the kids show. Tales From The Crypt was an HBO original series, and as uncensored in every department.

[bestgamer2112]

@MySweetPapaya no it wasent it was on HBO its uncensored

[TiradeFaction]

@MySweetPapaya No it wasn't. It was an HBO series that featured everything from the word "Fuck" to sex to well, decapitations. So no.

[Mrshadowmind14]

@MySweetPapaya no ur thinking of tales from the cryptKEEPER this was hbo

[MissMacArthur799]

@MySweetPapaya WHo the hell told u this was a kids show?? Its not. It was an old SciFi show.

[ninthreaver]

pretty clever, i actually got the twist before finding out which is uncommon for me

[oreolvrs]

Is that Cam Clake

[rabbitpi]

I wish they hadn't done the voice thing, that was pretty unrealistic. Apart from that, brilliant twist :)

[jpelczar]

Wouldn't they get sick by eating human flesh ?

[rabbitpi]

@jpelczar Why? It's just meat.

[oreolvrs]

@jpelczar if you mean by sick getting schitzophrenia,CJD,and prions then yes they would get sick

[flakelorenz02]

A little slow in starting but brilliant once it got going.

I didn't predict the ending but I kinda hinted where it was going when she started killing them off so easily. Also, will a paint can on the end of a gun really take your hand off? That's once for the Mythbusters I think.

[evanmink1]

what did she (he) pull out of that pan it looked like a...

[celebrei]

I figured it was her when those three were talking about plastic surgery and how she easily spotted the woman police was a fake

[mrpasta549]

he lost his hand then had both-The crypt kepper

[raerae1281]

@mrpasta549 I think since he's sort of a rotting corpse/zombie thing he could just re-attach the hand ;)

[AlrauneX]

lol dumbass

[DShaw42011]

so shes an wx CIA agent and a cannibal?

[chickenbiscito]

i saw that coming a mile away

[gothiccitizen]

wow I didnt expect that, and if you didnt expect that, it makes it sooo much cooler!! cos it takes you by surprise

[NocturnalThrasher69]

predictable ending how lame.

[MagnetsFucking]

@NocturnalThrasher69 Eh, I didn't expect it.

Hadn't realize how risque this show was. A transvestite cannibal assassin is a bit out there considering the station's current political leanings. I remember watching it on prime time when I was younger. Good times.

[raybattousai]

I wish the reaper from Bill and Ted had a few more lines at the end

[VideoGameStupid]

Lol Corey running on a treadmill with his pants down.

[TheMoore87]

@nostayer I don't think its fair to call that predictable. Call me old school but i still believe women, when they say they are women! lol

[sabrewolf1978]

That was priceless!!

[vitangelorotondi]

what was that thing in the chicken?

[ttiiyy]

@vitangelorotondi Probably a part of a foot. It doesn't matter.  It looks fake.

[chinguidinsky]

That assassin was a sex freak, he could of easily kill that guy in threadmill with some jiu jitsu moves like he did to the chick, but nah, he better waited to get butt fucked a little and then he killed him. Like rough shit, blood, paddles... my god. haha

[armstrong2mcgrady2k1]

"Take my advice pal, quit while you're a HEAD"

[mzbabii]

@armstrong2mcgrady2k1 HAAAAAAA!

lol

[nostayer]

thought the ending was pretty predictable

[coolchick8116]

I saw it comming as he was fighting the intruders.

[FedorBrockPromo]

Nice jiu jitsu sweep 4:38 lol

[WG05]

LMAO I didn't expect that haha

[ravix84]

Push 4

[Hunkyfish20]

"When daddy is finished spanking mommy maybe we could play spy" ...... yeah........ but whos daddy?

[KevinVonKluger]

hahaha she got nuts! :)

[spinmark1980]

i new she was a dude

[candygir87528]

the crypt keeper is such an ass. lol

[Jrotten11]

a little bit of titus andronicus, + a shit tonne of pure retardation.

[Only1MJP]

WEIRD!!! BUT AWESOME!

[sis4life107]

 haha that is the best ending ever!

[TheWildOne10]

That was Awesome! Been so long since I've watched this show. My brother and I used to watch it all the time.

[slicetwiceknife]

that was pretty twisted

[khatpandwa]

Scary Stuff - Thanks

[SchaefDizzle]

Corey got the tip in. Just sayin...

[alsaxon]

@SchaefDizzle lol!

[trixelina2]

sick

[xblaze900x]

I feel sorry for his/her husband

[fraoulitsa2009]

"quit like you're (a)head " LOL

[Griffin485]

How would that work with the husband? I mean they never had sex or something? Or our the guys organs ....gone? :0

[homelesshannah50]

@Griffin485 pretty sure 'she' had stuff fixed to look like lady parts.

[Catajo1]

i feel bad for laughing, but.... lol



[urbandenizen]

feldman a spook! funny

[dazlok23]

2.04 epic fail. women....

[Pllye]

I saw that coming......

[VikTheBrik]

I usually like TFTC but this was fucking terrible.

[Emeraldwing7]

...that is so cool! and yet...so wrong. but so cool!

[infernoperv]

everyone saw that comein she was wasy to clam

[infernoperv]

wow i saw that come a mile away just the way becouse she was so clam 

[BlackWolf2011]

that was so unexpected! hahahaha!

[kitty20black]

ja i fraking knew it!!! cooked them o hell no thats just mentally wrong !! yuck!!!!!

[Sillmech]

Holy shit I didn't expect that



[madpiratesarah]

I knew it I knew it! I kew she was a man!

[BUGSFUKINBUNNY]

hahahaah take my advice pal quit while youre ahead hahaah loved it

[frydayupinhere]

Thumbd up for the last comment, quit while your a head.

[Neesharani]

LMAO!!!!

[BoWLiNgKiD301]

she is liquid snake

[TyeDye07]

"Quit while your A'Head" lmao awsome

[MsHorrorzone]

i'm ur worst nightmare ..a woman with balls lol

[lhubli22]

did she just cooked the dead people?!

[CrazyGrin]

i knew it..

[MsSouthernman]

It was just too cool. Thanks for the upload.

[gunslingerpro]

wtf she killed him with a shoe!!!!

[MsSouthernman]

@gunslingerpro A high heel, spiked. Trust me, that is a dangerous weapon.

[Ameer4567890]

@gunslingerpro she shoved the tip part of her/his high heels into his eye not the one that broke maybe her other one. lol

[BoundInChains]

i LOVE THE WORD PLAY AND WHOLE WHOLE TWISTED SERIES

[Meela234]

Ha! Never saw this one before. Loved it!! I really miss this show. 

[Mileybyrus4]

wtf

[036265]

what..the..fuck..

[WaterbuffelNL]

When she said ´what else would I be´ in the first part, I already felt it had some kind of meaning. When the girl said in part 2 that the assassin changed his looks, I immediatly knew the girl must be the assassin :D

[JohnElwayFan2]

@WaterbuffelNL This.

[TheCandymusiclover]

Twisted + Funny = Epic!

[arod12234]

canabowls

[pyro80]

oh my god it´s five o´clock

[Elley82]

niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiceeeeeeee­eeeeeeeeeee a woman with baaaaaaaaaaaaallllls

[yumiko0017]

freaking genius of an ending lmao!!!!!

[MetallicDeth861]

so wait is he/she gay???

[alexmcphail1000]

man just EPIC

[ladykaka1011]

holy crap shes a man

[Solon2728]

CHOP Poker...errr.....Roshambo

Haha

[Dcole11]

Boooooooo.....

[naminesoraluv]

Uh.... that ending was so nasty.... Eewwww!!!! O.o Lol this ep did make me laugh though. Imagine what will happen when his husband finds out his 'wife' is actually a dude. pretty sure sex would stop permanently after that lol

[Morichikawa]

This is officially my favourite episode...

[AliasGATC]

her talking like that is ephing creepy hahaha

[Reaperluver]

I saw, then this when I was 9, and let me tell you, I did NOT see that ending coming!

I also saw "Staired in Horror" the same night, and it FREAKED ME OUT!

[bloodawn5]

Wow he assasinated his balls

[juniorbove]

This has got to be one of the most funniest and best episodes ever

[LeoLovesNature]

i already know she was when she killed the first fuck

[umasbob]

Wild

[Jennixbabiix30]

i hate to say it all of them deserved it i was cheering the assaian on

[LuciferWitch666]

Hahhaha The whole time, the guy they were looking for, was the Women, he turned himself into a women lmao!

[AngryOfMayfair]

As soon as I heard Liquid Snake's voice coming our of her nouth there, I immediately hid under a cardboard box, whilst smoking a cigarette at the same time...