Machete Dont Text

[lucasguti20]

The funny stuff about this line is that he DOES text afterwards in this movie

[87amavin]

This makes me proud to be mexican!

that and cause machete looks like my dad, and uncle.... and grandpa

[tnrc75]

Best.Line.Evah.

[SuperPurpletweety]

Haha

[SuperPurpletweety]

Gaha

[princesuzaku]

@superdragger i said his character was from mexico. thanks for correcting my already correct statement though!

[MrStone2K10]

Ha ha That line rocked

[miximtv]

Epic!

[jasonvoorhees2019]

its good that jessica alba is wooden else who could have not laughed after he said that line???

[Ebb1993isgreat]

Machete don't text because texting is bad for you! (Mainly for driving!)

[MANDALOR07]

Мачете не СМСит

[jonobonnowonno1]

jessica alba had been in the kitchen all day

[Badjokemaker]

Machete dont write youtube-comments

[thatdesignbastard]

Machete don't photoshop --> twitpic 4shpzv

[ladyodessasilvererg]

I noticed when Machete brought home the evidence it didn't include a copy of that vid of him making out with the two chicks. Hehe

[TheOriginalNightHawk]

Machete dont text..

I TWEET ;D

[ddrunkdogg]

LOL i was watching Machete at that part and i LMAOed at that part and came here

[ivybee1996]

lol @ jessica alba's face 0:17 :D

[bimmer318i]

1 person likes texting

[azcyberjerk]

Is this the 21th century version of "Homie don't play"?

[ZXRoux]

In Soviet Russia, Machete do text.

[terazpl]

hey, can you tell me why there's "don't" instead of "doesn"t"??? I'm not an English native so I'm mixed up a little.

[princesuzaku]

@terazpl

"machete" is from mexico, so he doesnt speak proper english. just part of the character.

youre right though, if spoken properly its "doesnt"

[rinleez]

@princesuzaku Even english and american people switch them just because its faster to say, or for another reason I dont know about. Same thing with "your" and "you're"

[rogue8889]

@princesuzaku no man machete doesnt give a fuck to say doesnt so he says dont.....

[MrClasir]

@princesuzaku I've noticed native english speakers use "don't" even with the 3rd person when they need to stress their statement. Lots of examples in various songs (as "Cocaine" by JJ Cale, native english speaker, or in some Beatles songs) and in movies; I assume the most famous is the wellknown "Charlie don't surf!" from "Apocalypse now". I'm not english though, so I might have messed up things. =D

[sussegado]

@princesuzaku Yeah. This is a common mistake when someone is talking about himself in third person.

[TheSunmanho]

@princesuzaku

there's more to that! It's a slightly altered quote from "APOCALYPSE NOW": "Charlie don't surf". (Charlie = Vietcong, the enemy). Should be somewhere on Youtube too.

[id8jlb8666]

@terazpl

Don't = Do Not

Doesn't = Does not

[shadrussell]

@terazpl The important ones to remember are the different versions of your and you're -- the different versions of their, they're, and there -- the difference between it's and its -- and the difference between to, two, and too.

[AOAWHATSUP]

@terazpl Slang as well

[maresca585]

Machete don`t text

[lastride92]

OMFG this is so great i wanna motherf******ng cry!

best movie, best character, best quote!!!!

[reaper3386]

anyone know where i c an find this as a ringtone?

[32932800]

hahahahaahaha no mameees xD!!!

Feds?!?

ITs like the CIA FBI and DEA all wrapped out in a FUCKING Burrito!

[Jaref666]

Machete don't kill, Machete just get fun with blood!

[shaun180381]

No he doesn't fucking text because he's not a stupid teenybopper (or a teenybopper trapped in an older person's body). Texting is for those who don't give a shit about other people, for those who want to dump their boyfriends, disappoint their mates, get out of prior commitments, and basically be an all-round piece of shit. Nothing says "you are worthless and I don't care about you" like a text message.

This bloke is a legend - oh and I don't text either.

[ob1coyote]

@shaun180381 sounds like someone you cared about didn't give a shit about you, dumped you, disappointed you, stood you up and treated you like shit and now you feel worthless and unloved... The rest of us realize that a text message can be useful and serve other purposes.

Be interesting to see what your feelings are on greeting cards, written letters and voicemail.

[ShrapNello]

I couldn't resist and let my girlfriend call me after ignoring three sms she send me just to drop that line! TOTALLY WORTH IT! ;)

[capitaomorsa]

Classic!

[jorl13per]

LOL...

[dasvassen]

'Machete don't act...'

LOL!!!

[LeandroMuntendam]

Machete not listen to little pinche puta. LOL

[G1988Bambie]

some shit i would say when i'm worry about my husband....Pinche tu, why didn't Fcking text me. hahhaha best part ever!!! I LOVE CHESSY MOVIES FOR LIFE

[fakewalka]

- I thought Machete don't text

- Machete improvise

[0ctavian]

ahahahaha EPIC!

[Rubdt]

CLASSIC

[Jimberlin]

machete learn to improvise...

[eduardortiz]

best part!! hahahahahhahah

[bottle2lip]

rofl this should become a meme.

Machete don't Exfoiliate

Machete don't itemize his tax deductions...

[pancho956]

@bottle2lip Machete don't drive past 6

[ZXRoux]

@bottle2lip

My friend, youre a genius!!!

[antdez1]

she sounds like his wife LOL

[iamcodizzle]

so great

[Genose]

LEGENDARY

[chicoruiz1]

Love that part

[adwzup]

Machete don't TXT.....one of the best parts of the movie :D