wooow sooo sooo many things can be said here I kinda disagree with the cant be nice thing. I mean me im nowhere near nice sometimes but I believe you can be nice and caring and all that as LONG as you keep your wits about you at the same time. A lot of people play games and have lost there minds when it comes to dealing with each other smh. relationships are give and take im glad i dont gotta worry about it found the woman of my dreams thank god cause the dating world is scary these days smh
Women like sex, so why do you think that she is "giving" the man something and not getting anything in return ? This is why men say that women are essentially prostitutes. It's the quid pro quo nature of how women function with regards to sex. Women expect men to jump through hoops to do something that both men and women enjoy. It would be different if women had no interest in sex, but they do.
I gave this video a thumbs up. However, it under played women wanting sex, being with guys for sex. The fact that sex can be high priority when a woman mess with some men and something else with another guy is why it seems unfair to me. If women had an idea of a good man & what should wanted are sorted it out that way it would be a bit better.
@gmann1695 It was not my experience in college to be pumped and dumped; therefore your assumption that it happened to ALL female college freshmen is not valid.
uheardme....I heard you "the first time" when you did an exposition on Kobe's divorce and am again captivated by your ability to present a fair and balanced point of view. The subject matter of sexual weapons is not about sex at all when fully explored; however it was an excellent start. To a great extent, Black men have been raised to be Mandingos. We seriously need to stop blaming females and take a hard look at the "Man in the Mirror", get rid of the false pride, and man up....FOR REAL!
your video is all over the place, sex should never be a bargaining chip in any situation. do things because you want to do it, not because you expect something in return. if you do something for someone and you want something in return, that needs to be SAID from THE BEGINNING and a CONTRACT NEEDS TO BE SIGNED.
@UHeardMe1stTime I would say that a "Sugar Daddy-Sugar Baby" relationship is the same as a "Prostitute-John" relationship because in both cases the woman is renting her body out for pay or favors. With prostitutes the relationship is shorter in time (hour or two) whereas with the Sugar Babies it may be weeks, months, or longer, but the prostitute and the Sugar Baby are one in the same and the "Johns" and the Sugar Daddies are one in the same.
sex is the only thing that most women want to offer, a learned behavior from their mothers and female members of the family in an environment without fathers, that is not corrected into adulthood because their superficial needs are usually met, at least until something bad (will) happen ...
Most of things men they buy is because of women. Everybody that has a birth certificate was initiated one through their mother(affiant/informant). Sex only happens through the woman's consent, if not it is called rap. Women are the main members of the Church, and holds it up. Man's only power comes from what a woman or women allow him to do. If women don't buy(into) anything, every falls, and is lifted back up with her praise/consent. Without her, he's like a boy who has lost his mother...
pt2)....Like we women were specifically made to appease 'MEN' lmao....even if that man is broke/cant provide etc he still wants dictate/have some woman serving him, as if his life would/could not possibly be complete unless he has someone docile/underneath him to make him feel 'big' 'better' than....
What I dont understnd is...if women 'overseas' are soo great etc, why do sooo many come over to america? Why soo many female immigrants wanting to come to america if they love their probably 'subservant to men' lives overseas. America is where a woman can become whatever it is that they want to , and they dont have to be dictated by what a man says they have to be / act like etc...
I cant believe we live in a world where men feel like the other human(women) must serve them/their needs in
@looktothestars9 Can a woman not be coerce to sign her child over to the State through the birth certificate? Can a woman speak about her natural mind/body w/o recourse from others? What can a woman in the continental United States do w/o getting a permit/license or taxed from some entity over them to do so, w/o recourse from others? Where in the 'States' can a woman learn about the Science of her womb or body freely?
TODAY, ONE MUST BE spiritually alive....When you are spiritually intune, you are more content with urself & u control ur emotions... Being dependent on another individual in this *present life is NOT good.
Men & Women are sensitized , boys and girls are f*cking by the age of 13, so by 17, to the boy sex is not something that's hard for him to get..& girls give it up too soon these days, so by the time they are 18, you can kick a football through their vaginas...and men wont work hard for that
Thats why I am in NOOO hurry to get Married at all.....And being 'alone' when I get older is not so scary...todays age we live amongst demons/blood suckers & everybody is too materialistic & competetive / people's morals are deplete!!
This is why I encourage black women to become SPIRITUALLY awaken....if your insides/ your spirit & soul is alive, you dont need the people(men) & things of this world to make you feel free.....call me corny idgof, its TRUE!
Why do you continue to quote Tom Leykis? That shit is old as fuck. I was a student of Tom years ago, and Ive come to the conclusion that most of his beliefs are due to his location. He lives in LA. Los Angeles has a very unique dating scene, one in which you can date random people on a weekly basis, as millions of people come from all over the world with Hollywood dreams. I dont think anyone should apply all his teachings to their daily lives if, lets say, they live in North Carolina or Utah.
@ray1411 Tom Leykis didn't always live in LA. He started his radio career in various small and medium-sized towns around the country. And his calls came from around the country, and the world, though mostly from LA. That is the biggest mistake one can make, thinking that small-town girls will not approach dating the same way as their urban counterparts.
I know Leykis worked in other markets. But his biggest success and longest run was in LA, and as stated, "calls came from around the country...though mostly from LA." Most of the ideas expressed by Leykis are applicable to other areas, but he lives in an area where dating is plentiful and highly complicated. You cant convince of the fact that some areas are more traditional, as Ive been other places not as treacherous as LA. I know people who date well into their 50s in LA--thats not typical.
@universalconnections I think what Mikenified means is, you know how some women who want to have kids will go to a gay friend of hers to impregnate her? Think about how they relate to each other after the child is born. The kid never sees his parents display any affection or attraction towards one another whatsoever, and they usually don't live together.Now think about the average divorce scenario.From a kid's perspective they are one and the same.
By the time you ask a woman out an a date, guys, you should already know whether or not she wants to have sex with you. I'm not saying you should know with absolute certainty and I'm not saying every date should end with sex. But there should be no ambiguity as to whether or not she's interested in you.
youtube should make people pay U to watch or listen to good videos as yours, i like your videos, every week i go on your page to see whats new , i like the way you dont pick sides like some others do, you change me, i been around low life dirty slime ass people all my life an they all come at any age an color, i got hurt by them , stole from me an did me wrong
Its seems like there is quite a few Tom Leykis video on the side to this video Uheardme, seems like hes slowly taking over the net. Type in "reformed party sluts seeking husband" and listen to the first video at the beginning. This is were he REALLY digs in to what you are addressing here!
@imsatindoll - What they do is none of my business, as long as it's not physically or verbally abusing for him or her, most of all, using protection. So, what's the solution? The solution is communication. I think we both agree that when a man or woman doesn't communicate well enough, assumptions can breed problems which most people are complaining about. The lying just has to stop. lol =)
@BlackMessiah88 That's not true and I think you know it. There is no conclusive evidence to support that theory, anywhere. Blacks are no more prone to aggression than any other racial group.
So does estrogen and even more effective in hormone therapy for patients with Osteoporosis and lets be fair, you got off topic when you used race as an indicator for aggression. Its not true for men or women.
@BlackMessiah88 Biology has done no such thing in terms of testosterone levels in women, its a hypothesis based the limited sampling of men for prostate cancer research and later by "scientists" to support early assumptions relating aggression and intelligence to race. However there is a study that supports higher levels of estrogen in nhBlack men compared to nhWhite and Hispanic men which contributes to bone mass. Pretty interesting stuff.
Ok question for you. I like your comment about trade. I want sex, so if you give me sex then I should give you something you want in return. Fair trade right? So what about the guy who's a "nice guy" that doesn't want to be seen as a cheapskate and takes you out to the Olive Garden instead of McDonalds. He's spending his money, on you, right? So if you dump him because you aren't "feeling it" then where is the fair trade? What did he really get for his $50?
I know this is directed at 1sttime BUT, speaking for myself I think men need to wise up. Dont spend too much money on a woman you just met. Go on a coffee date first and feel her out. If you like her take her to a dinner date. A man that takes a woman on a dinner/expensive date out of the gate is asking to be taken advantage of. Same as a woman who puts out on the first few dates.
@BlackMessiah88 Maybe you're right. I would need move evidence other than personal experience and testosterone levels to support those claims. So for that reason, we would have to agree to disagree. It was nice talking to you, though. Appreciate your time.
@BlackMessiah88 With what you said, I can also add that men of the black phenotype have higher testosterone levels of those of the white phenotype. Does that mean that black men are more dominant than white men? Not at all. Women from other countries are usually not brought up with the same feminist ideals, as women in this country, too. A lot of factors go into it, being of a certain phenotype has little to nothing to do with it. It's genetics, more-so.
@BlackMessiah88 To say that Asian women are more likely to be docile is simply not true. Provide proof. Biology proves that most women desire a alpha male and will become docile if she meets one. Which is why jerks always get the pretty girls. Most women have this disney like fantasy of what love is and men have this fantasy of what women are. A woman's phenotype (or race) has nothing to do with how docile and submissive she is. There is no evidence to show this.
So in other words as long as american/western women adopted a passive aggresive attitude it it will be ok to still keep up with the same selfish behavior?
About the prosti and John. I understand that aspect very much, but it's not the kind of lifestyle I want. If I were to actually enter a relationship, I honestly do not expect a man to support me financially. I've been doing things for myself for a while (despite my age) and I like that freedom. I would want a man around for love, romance, fun and friendship (yes, sex too. Good sex). I like being honest w/ men w/ what I want. If I want sex, I tell him. If I want to date, he'll know this.
This is why I think it's best that women pay for themselves on dates. I mean, I don't want to offend a man, but him paying for me on a date makes me extremely uncomfortable. He'll expect me to have sex asap (I may or may not be interested in that yet), or I'll feel like a golddigger, even if I am not that way. I like being my own person and having my own financial security. Letting a man pay for my things makes me feel childish.
@ImNotYourFriend212 I agree. I advocate that women pay for themselves on dates. Men shouldn't be expected to carry all of the bill. Some of those restaurant bills can be expensive. Also, there are men (not all, of course) who tend to think that, if he is paying for a meal at a restaurant, that that entitles him for sex. It's just best to pay your own way.
"This is why I think it's best that women pay for themselves on dates."
I'm not saying it's a good thing or a bad thing but whether a guy will let you pay for a date is VERY telling about what kind of guy he is. The guys I (used) to date would not let me pay & some would even be a little offended if I tried to pay. Hmm...I should make a video about this.
@UHeardMe1stTime Great video! wonderfully put together. I have a few bones to pick, though. I don't think men, in general, are complaining about leverage. They are complaining about being seen as human wallets and security guards, just like women are complaining of being seen as sex objects and a trophy. What both genders fail to realize is, we are biologically engineered to be attracted to what we are. Men nor women can help that.
@UHeardMe1stTime So what's the problem? The problem comes when men use women's insecurities against them for sex and mistreat them, just like when women use men's ego & insecurities against him for money and security. Both sides are at fault for this, individually. A woman's main source of power IS her vagina, because at the end of the day that's what it's all about. Just like men's main source of power is their security physically and financially.
@UHeardMe1stTime You have made great points. "Why do you want to get what you want and I don't get what I want." This argument can go for both sides. A lot of men want to have sex with no reciprocation. At the same token, women want to go on dates, get gifts, go shopping, and use a man as a emotional crutch with no reciprocation. So it's a never ending battle of miscommunication.
@UHeardMe1stTime Now here is where we disagree. You said, "just because a girl decides to not see a guy after 3 dates (and him spending at least 50 per date) it doesn't necessarily mean she is playing games." That's just like me saying, "Just because a guy had sex with a girl 3 times and doesn't want to commit, because she wants commitment, doesn't necessarily mean a guy is playing games." Well, it does. Statements like that is why guys and girls are frustrated with one another.
You're assuming I disagree with your scenario. No, it does not NECESSARILY mean he's playing games but it does depend on what he's telling her. If he's lying to her, then he is playing. Same thing would apply IF the woman was pretending to like the guy just so he would keep taking her out.
@UHeardMe1stTime Which scenario am I assuming you disagree with? I disagree, because if he KNOWS she wants to be in a relationship but continues to "milk" her for what she has, then he is playing with her. Women do the same but in more indirect way, such as going on a whole lot of dates or using him as a emotional crutch. There are always exceptions to both scenarios.
@UHeardMe1stTime & He doesn't have to lie about anything. He could just act upon her insecurities and take advantage without being upfront about his intentions. Many guys do this. How many guys would mess that up, if she doesn't stop seeing him? Just like how many women would return a gift from someone she doesn't "like" like that?
@UHeardMe1stTime Overall, GREAT VIDEO. I love it. Keep it coming. I have one last question, what made you come to this realization? Especially the realization that marriage, as we know it, will be extinct soon.
@Mikelovision Mike interesting points about the date scenario vs sex scenario. My take though is this...it all depends on what is being said vs assumption. Say I was single and I met this dude and he offers to pay my way (most women dont ask for a man to pay for her food mind you)...well if he is offering why not? I mean when you take someone out on a date both parties know that they are in the get together phase. Either him or her can decide to stop dating. There is no game in that.
@Mikelovision Mike interesting points about the date scenario vs sex scenario. My take though is this...it all depends on what is being said vs assumption. Say I was single and I met this dude and he offers to pay my way (most women dont ask for a man to pay for her food mind you)...well if he is offering why not? I mean when you take someone out on a date both parties know that they are in the get together phase. Either him or her can decide to stop dating. There is no game in that.
@imsatindoll Thanks for the great response! Now, where shall I start?
"Most women don't ask for a man to pay for her food mind you." Neither do women ask for sex, gifts, or remember their birthday. Although, if a guy ever did not do what was expected in any one of those scenarios, he would be looked at as rude, cheap, and selfish by most women. Women are great at the art of indirection.
"I mean when you take someone out on a date both parties know that they are in the get together phase. Either him or her can decide to stop dating. There is no game in that."
That's the problem, they don't. Why? Because each person approaches a date with different intentions. A date is usually the deciding factor on how you will act or not act upon those intentions. Now what happens usually? Usually when a guy is not direct enough
@imsatindoll of his intentions, he gets put in the friend zone. I believe most women do this subconsciously with no bad intentions behind it, even though the outcome for the guy is never beneficial on his part. If the guy is direct enough he may get sex, a relationship, or both depending on the woman's intentions. This is not the 1950's so now we have texting. If the guy doesn't like the woman, because of what she revealed through text and or the date, he just used her for sex.
@imsatindoll "if this guy convinces this girl to lay with them & they are screwing multiple times without any commitment, she feels played when he never said anything about being together in the first place, well its not like he was playing her."
I concur. But try telling that to the women that that has happen to. It's almost impossible for most women to have sex with no emotions attached. Just like it's almost impossible for most men to have sex with a woman hes not attracted to.
@Mikelovision Same goes for the sex if this guy convinces this girl to lay with them and they are screwing multiple times without any commitment and she feels played when he never said anything about being together in the first place...well its not like he was playing her.
@Mikelovision If there are any expectations or assumptions then it is that individual's responsability to speak up. Anything that is said and happened after the person communicated might be considered a game. Exampe I say to a man trying to have sex with me "No sir. I only have sex with men that I am in a relationship with" and he says "cool, I dig it. Lets be in a relationship" and we are in a relationship, he screws me, and breaks up with me. then I can rightfully say I got played.
"If there are any expectations or assumptions then it is that individual's responsability to speak up." Again I concur, but this is not reality. Which is why miscommunication is so common among us. Your example didn't show you being played as much as it shown you being deceived. Now lets say instead you said you didn't want a relationship or sex, but he became your friend with no benefits. He is now your emotional/psychological and sometimes physical boyfriend.
@Mikelovision as unfavorable it is to be friendzoned. it is his responsibility to decline my request. if I was like "mikelovision you cool and all but I just want to be friends" and you wanted more. then it is up to you to say "imsatindoll thanks but no thanks" and move on to the next one. if I was upfront in the get go it is not a game. he feels played later on by deciding to be the girls friend when he wanted a little bit more....then unfortunately thats his fault
@imsatindoll Yes, it would be his fault. No if ands or buts. Lets say you have a guy friend, that you KNOW he is attracted to you, who is spending money on you, on the phone with you all the time, & your emotional crutch. That's not being a good friend. Just like how I would NEVER keep a woman around me to have sex with & enjoy other physical pleasures just because "she didn't speak up." Morally, it's wrong. Like I said before, I don't care what people do. As long as it's safe.
@imsatindoll Is that right? Knowing that he is attracted to you, kicks it with you, talks to you on the phone in hopes of one day having the balls to say something. Or maybe you would eventually change you mind & make the first move, which rarely happens. It's a game. Men aren't going to be direct with everything, because they are not stupid enough to jeopardize sex. Lets keep it 100, most women don't want to be told directly. They want to be shown directly.
@Mikelovision now for the dude who pay for date after date with nothing to show for it....if he is not going to speak up and say "we are going dutch" or "no dates for me I just want to have sex" or get information on how this girl feels about him after date #2....and just keep on taking the girl out, spending money, expecting to get something, and she tells him "sorry your not my type but it was fun while it lasted"...he cant get mad. he had expectations that he did not communicate.
@imsatindoll "now for the dude who pay for date after date with nothing to show for it....if he is not going to speak up and say "we are going dutch" or "no dates for me I just want to have sex"
And jeopardize having sex with the woman he is after? Hell to the no! lol Lets be realistic, that's not how easy it is for a man. It's just like sex, most of the time it just happens. No questions are asked, before the act. She makes a indirect move or gesture and he directly acts upon it.
@imsatindoll "or get information on how this girl feels about him after date #2 and just keep on taking the girl out, spending money.."
Most people, especially women, know what type of person they are dealing with after date #1, lets be honest. Usually things escalate for the man or escalate for the woman, from that point. He keeps spending time & money on the girl, because he is a heterosexual man who is attracted to a woman. Although, it is his fault for not speaking up.
@imsatindoll Now, my favorite part "expecting to get something, and she tells him "sorry your not my type but it was fun while it lasted"...he cant get mad. he had expectations that he did not communicate."
I can say the same for when a guy (knowing she wants a relationship, because of what she said on the date) never commits, while using her insecurities, for his sexual pleasure. The girl continues the sexual relationship because she believes he will change. Even though he
@imsatindoll means no harm, he getting what he wants out of her without any reciprocation. Taking advantage of an insecure woman or girl is like taking advantage of a man who has no backbone. In conclusion, I agree. They can't get mad at that. At the same token, we all know that being direct is not as easy as you put it. I'm not mad at the woman using the guy for his money, & neither am I mad at the guy using the girl for sex. Still, that doesn't mean they are not getting played.
@UHeardMe1stTime When a guy uses money on a girl he is attracted to, the end result consciously or subconsciously is to have sex with her. Just like a females end result is to be in a financially, emotionally, & physically secure relationship. Women know what's their "cup of tea" on the first date, lets be real. Marriage, as we know it, is going extinct. Over the course of time, in history marriage has been redefined. It will have to be redefined again,
I guess at the end of the day, I can't blame ya. If I was a hot chick, id do the same thing! I believe if you're a decent looking chick, you should have NO excuse for being broke...
@autismpete Most women do not want to sell sex for money, no matter how attractive they are. I'd rather work at McDonalds than selling myself. Why? Too many risk factors: I could get killed. I could get raped. I could get HIV. I could get attacked in many other ways. Not to mention the psychological damage. No thanks.
@ImNotYourFriend212 No one said anything about selling sex. It's about getting as much as you can for a guy without having to give up the goods. For the guy, it's about trying to get the goods while spending as less as possible. This is where the sexes compromise and, sadly, this is where also stuff goes wrong...
Great video with great points. I think that one blind spot that you have is that feminism lied to woman and changed them. Feminism told woman that they can use men the way that patriarchy used them and that woman are justified in what ever they decide to do him. This has hardened mens hearts. Woman want to be independent and say they don't need men but still want Victorian age chivalry . Not only is this unfair to men, it confuses the he'll out of us. Now men are confused about a mans role.
I can understand the reasons for abstinence. But men have a greater hormonal/physical need for sex. That's why Viagra and Cialis is so popular for older men. It's not always about games or messing women over; just turns out that way sometimes. Men see sex as a mutual activity that both can enjoy, and can let sex be just sex, with few hang-ups. Women see it as giving up something or giving in, being used, and tend to emotionally dwell on it making it more complicated.
I'm not tricking off a Bitch! and fuck all dem games, I say just get money and have fun...sex ain't everything.Yeah i come across a few birds now and then, but when the right girl come around that love me for me... I be stupid not to hold on to her.
@LyricalMasterMind1 Exactly. Some of these guys just don't get it. In relationships you win some you lose some. You may not end up having sex with her but she may give you good advice that you really needed or hook you up with the right people to further yourself. The 'birds' only stick around as long as you keep em'. I call women like that 'pets' which is quite appropriate.Going on expensive first dates with a woman could be encouraging bad habits & expectations.
"alot of women simply see men as a means to provide them a certain lifestyle "
And a lot of men see when as a place to put their private parts. Nature programmed women to look for men who can provide for her & any children she plans to have. Even animal females prefer alpha males because they can provide for and /or protect her & her young.
great piece...that is why i abstain from sex so much easier than all the games and bullsh't because you cant miss what you never had and most people get the hint from the jump
Im sooo A-SEXUAL, and could not beg for anything other.
If one (specially females) want sexual pleasure..its nothing wrong with pleasing herself..there are soo many devices designed specifically for that, for us women...
However, most men even though they please themselves allot with their hands, they want to feel the hot warmth of a woman's vagina...there is nothing(no toy) that can really imitate the hot warmth of a vagina...then again heat activated body oil?!
If men and women have complain about something change it up. Do something different for a change. Quit doing the expected, or the norm. But hey to each their own...
(Cont) I also concur with you and your mate do what you do, not anybody or societies rules. That's the way to do it! That is how me and my mate do it she, and I don't fall for that hublah. lol
Media.... experience, society... All the constructs of the destruction of relationships.
Great video I watched the whole thing and agree...
"If it's a dog eat dog world
Give them a mental shock collar."
Do the opposite of the masses.
Don't hook up with bullshitters. Don't date sugar babies. What happens? Narrow it down there goes your few to talk to, but many do not have the patience to do that these days.
Insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results.
Great prodcast UheardMe1stTime ! I general don't make posts, but this important issue for modern society to deal with. It's always freshing to hear your two cents. I like how you look at the facts fairly from both the men's and women's perspectives. I think you paint a very accurate picture of the current modern dating scene. Sad but true.
Why are these men still bitching? If you don’t want to get married then don’t. If you don’t want kids then don’t. If all you want is sex than go visit a hooker. Why spend so much time on the internet complaining about something you stated you were against or don’t want? Just don’t do it. And if foreign women are the answer to you prayers than go get one.
@MyRedmamba The truth is the foreign women are no different..in fact many of them are WORSE...when they see these suckas they see 'GREEN CARD'. One day she goes to buy a quart of milk or some rice and ..poof gone! I'm a caribbean woman...I wouldn't lie. What is taking place here is men generally dont like to admit they have emotional needs.They do not know WHAT they want. They could just take a hooker and pay for sex but they want emotional commitment too but too insecure to say so.
"I would rather weep in a BMW" Thats what Chinese woman said to an average man on a talk show when he asked her out. That comment made news across China because it reflected the common attitude about dating in China. India is similar. Don’t even dare approach quality Indian women without a degree and cash. If she doesn’t shoot you down her family will…..And yet American men love the myth of the docile feminine Asian women and insist they are the alternative to American women
Another thing I find ironic is that these men complain about western women being “used up” and “ran threw” but turn a blind eye to the fact that a fair amount (not all) of those foreign exchange brides are ex prostitutes /escorts or poor slum girls looking for a way out of there former life styles.
@MyRedmamba Yes..I live in Trinidad and some of the old wealthy yachties (white north american men) come here thinking they can get a wife. My friends neighbour married one of them and is living in a mansion in Texas right now. She was an underhand prostitute and she's at least 20 years younger than him. The whole town knew what she did so she couldnt get a husband here - she's in her 40's. I know she had a hard life & wish her well but those are facts. Game recognise game.
@MyRedmamba Very true. Asian women ARE far from 'docile' Still waters run deep and passive agressives are the WORST folks to contend with. They live in a culture of 'the unspoken' where one thing implies the other. This vid is a fine example of that myth being dispelled:
watch?v=vmrkFg8WXOg
when I show men this they just shut up. People are just people.
@MyRedmamba I agree! men should quit complaining. I think the frustration comes from not knowing the biological differences between men & women. Most heterosexual men desire submissive pretty women. Most women desire a dominant male who is financially secure for him and her. It's kinda selfish on both ends, but that's biology! It's equally wrong to go after a girl for sex as it is for a woman to go after a guy for money. The difference is that being in love involves sex, not money.
@MyRedmamba You know that buying sex is illegal, right? If a man was to get caught, which many do, he has to live with that on his record forever. Sex isn't as assessable as you believe it is, which is why a lot of men are frustrated. If prostitution was legal, you would notice a HUGE change in the attitudes of men.
I'm independent & depend on nobody! Some women use sex as a weapon. They'll give up.the goods if a man has the goods (money, nice material items). It's life. Some people are tired of being effed over in relationships and are fine with the exchange. But some people want love in the exchange of sex. It's only wrong if the person is used. If the person wants love in the exchange of sex, it is wrong if he sees different...
ALL media (TV, movies, music, news) shrills at us constantly about "alienation". Alienation from the opposite sex; From religion. From government. From other races and cultures. From our heritage and former values. Etc. etc., etc.
They call it "news". But is it? Or, is it instead, "predictive programming"?
@UHeardMe1stTime - I ♥ your balance. I'd love to know you IRL. :-)
@laughingstalk at 17:05, "If I wasn't married to this sweet guy, I'd still be a sugar baby" -UHeardMe1st. SHE said it. In other words: "If I wasn't married to this sweet guy mangina that provides for me, I'd still be ho'ing-it-up right now! And if one day I feel like cashing out (divorce, alimony), I'd go right back to ho'ing-it-up!".
@bgrim2008 now we know why UHM1T is attracted to older, established men. But she did admit that she couldn't do the "sugar baby" thing forever, so she couldn't just jump back into the game if she divorced tomorrow. Even though, for obvious reasons, she takes the female side of various issues, I do have to respect her for articulating her views in a straightforward, unemotional manner, and I do my best to address her in kind.
@laughingstalk You are right. I know. Should have mentioned just parts such as women wanting to give up sex but will not because to pacify insecure men's opinions of them and how all that is based on the myth that the male sex drive is stronger than the female. Also when she speaks how there is no fairness in relationships. Marc is about the peer and equality relationship.
@simplelife1987 but there is no equality in a relationship if one party is perceived as being inherently more valuable than the other. When one party has to pay for the physical and emotional companionship of the other. Some women say, "My time is valuable." Like a man's isn't? But UHM1T does address these issues in a straightforward way that no other female on YouTube does.
@laughingstalk I agree with you but I was not expecting that from her. The message I took note of in my previous comment was good for what it was in generality. Rudov speaks on a whole other level. Of course there is no equality when one is more valuable or self entitlement is concerned or that princess syndrome. If you want Chinese, you can't go to IHOP. I took her message for what it was worth, based on what I noted earlier.
Bitter ? I'm not the one who immaturely deleted someone's comment just because I don't agree with their advice for men. LOL@this butt-hurt feminist, "we need to go into a system of complete trade-off, If I wasn't married to this sweet guy, I'd still be a sugar baby". Does your husband know you was a "sugar baby" and that you would still be one today if you was single ? See men, DON'T get married to western feminized women!
@UHeardMe1stTime I didn't see my comment anywhere after your reply. I know many youtubers delete comments they disagree with. My bad for the confusion. Now, you clearly said "If I wasn't married to this sweet guy, I'd STILL be a sugar baby." C'mon fellas, what does that sound like ? Would you, a self respecting man, settle for a woman that use to be a "sugar baby" ? and openly admits that if it wasn't for her marriage (extortion opportunity), she'd still be a sugar baby ?
You're so traumatized that you label all females as feminists. If you opened your ears & switched off your emotions you would understand that this is not a feminist stance. You are not entitled to free sex.
@UHeardMe1stTime Now I'm bitter AND traumatized ? God damn! Again, Men should not marry in today's western feminized world. Why ? Because if a man cheats, mistreats his wife, the woman gets paid after divorce plus alimony. If a woman cheats and mistreats her husband, the woman gets paid after divorce plus alimony lol. Also, the no-fault divorce clause adds to the rip off that which is marriage. Even a "pre-nup" won't save a man from extortion.
Have you watched any of my other vids. Just because I'm married doesn't mean I agree with the unfair marriage laws of today. I would not do any of that dirty stuff to my guy but it's really irrelevant because I intend to stay married 'til 1 of us dies.
@bgrim2008 i know ur point, it is indeed dangerous, and for young men its most def a no travel advice. marriage that it cant be saved, i guess a new bond called something like a "love contract" is due for inventing, to leave the baggage of marriage behind. the gays can have it ;)
@UHeardMe1stTime I don't think any man feels "entitled to free sex" in this society. I don't think any man wants "free sex" like we get free food samples in a mall food court. Men are taught from an early age that we have to earn what we want out of life. Even men who don't pay for sex, and don't go on dates, have to do SOMETHING to get a woman's interest and consent, like talking or dancing. As far as a sense of entitlement, generally women have men beat in that area.
All I hear is feminist apologist reasoning and logic. Bottom line for men, don't marry a western feminized skank who will use sex as tool to manipulate you and extort you of your hard earned money. Also, there is no point, no point at all in marrying a woman that has already been ran up by scores of men. Don't fall for the "nice girl" routine! Many of these women of today have been fucked-n-chucked so many times that they are psychologically beat (aside from being beat pussy).
@bibadoe Exactly! Hos are now acceptable! I mean W-T-F! Would you TRUST a ho with your money, belongings, home, family, friends ? Manginas and simps are hugely to blame as well. You can't even call out belligerent female behavior without having some mangina nigga come at you threatening to slice you up for calling out belligerent ho behavior (probably because they themselves are wifed-up to a ho lol). Now Feminazis say that it is wrong to call a ho a ho and a slutt a slutt lol.
@bgrim2008 You sound quite bitter.Why would you think feminists are skanks? Someone who follows feminism could believe in anything.There are MANY feminists that are against women using their bodies for commercial purposes.Just cuz someone is a Dem or Rep does not mean they are all the same.You talk about women who've been 'run up' by scores of men but you don't mention the men that have been 'run up' by scores of women,have a man on the side (douple dipping) & come home to their wives
if a woman gives a man sex, he is giving her something in return already--SEX. it's EQUAL. that's the problem here. women have been conditioned to see sex as dirty unless they choose with whom they're sleeping...then it's considered womanly or tough. Women can't simply enjoy sex any more without asking for something in return. That's the issue here. It's an equal exchange. Both our genitals are used for peeing and fucking. Why do women enjoy putting themselves on a pedestal so much?
"if a woman gives a man sex, he is giving her something in return already--SEX. "
Fine. If I go out with a man but don't have sex with him, he's still getting something. COMPANIONSHIP. But guess what...that's probably not what he was hoping for.
The point is not to get SOMETHING in return. It's to get what you WANT.
yes I agree and if you want to have sex with a man and he wants to fuck you then you're both getting something you want. sex is a form of companionship but not necessarily love. open and clear communication is needed so people stop lying to each other all the time.
@muskduh I had a 'friends with benefits' arrangement with a guy once only to find out he was actually hoping for a real relationship.When I found out he was getting too attached and needy I had to cut him off.Why are you talking about women when men do it too?People have sex for different reasons..mostly emotional ones.My experience is that men who play can't handle it when they realise that the women who they are playing play the game harder. So people don't just have sex for sex sake.
Very good video.
flc2009 5 days ago
Damn I swear you are the MUST THOROUGH I've ever heard...and you're so on point...BIG UPS!!!
AdonteMacon 1 week ago
wooow sooo sooo many things can be said here I kinda disagree with the cant be nice thing. I mean me im nowhere near nice sometimes but I believe you can be nice and caring and all that as LONG as you keep your wits about you at the same time. A lot of people play games and have lost there minds when it comes to dealing with each other smh. relationships are give and take im glad i dont gotta worry about it found the woman of my dreams thank god cause the dating world is scary these days smh
jagpitshow757 1 week ago
Women like sex, so why do you think that she is "giving" the man something and not getting anything in return ? This is why men say that women are essentially prostitutes. It's the quid pro quo nature of how women function with regards to sex. Women expect men to jump through hoops to do something that both men and women enjoy. It would be different if women had no interest in sex, but they do.
Dmacho78 1 week ago
This video could be called "Why chivalry died", especially at the end.
fistoffries 2 weeks ago in playlist More videos from UHeardMe1stTime
One of the biggest variables that doesn't get mentioned in this video is the premise that women don't like sex.
fistoffries 2 weeks ago in playlist More videos from UHeardMe1stTime
I gave this video a thumbs up. However, it under played women wanting sex, being with guys for sex. The fact that sex can be high priority when a woman mess with some men and something else with another guy is why it seems unfair to me. If women had an idea of a good man & what should wanted are sorted it out that way it would be a bit better.
paulsimage 2 weeks ago
@gmann1695 It was not my experience in college to be pumped and dumped; therefore your assumption that it happened to ALL female college freshmen is not valid.
blaquelovely1 3 weeks ago
@BlackMessiah88 You can not be serious!
blaquelovely1 3 weeks ago
uheardme....I heard you "the first time" when you did an exposition on Kobe's divorce and am again captivated by your ability to present a fair and balanced point of view. The subject matter of sexual weapons is not about sex at all when fully explored; however it was an excellent start. To a great extent, Black men have been raised to be Mandingos. We seriously need to stop blaming females and take a hard look at the "Man in the Mirror", get rid of the false pride, and man up....FOR REAL!
superJphammer 3 weeks ago
your video is all over the place, sex should never be a bargaining chip in any situation. do things because you want to do it, not because you expect something in return. if you do something for someone and you want something in return, that needs to be SAID from THE BEGINNING and a CONTRACT NEEDS TO BE SIGNED.
aloge 3 weeks ago
@aloge
"your video is all over the place"
-I covered several topics in 1 video, but they were all related.
I'm not sure what part of my video you're disagreeing with (if at all).
UHeardMe1stTime 3 weeks ago
@UHeardMe1stTime I would say that a "Sugar Daddy-Sugar Baby" relationship is the same as a "Prostitute-John" relationship because in both cases the woman is renting her body out for pay or favors. With prostitutes the relationship is shorter in time (hour or two) whereas with the Sugar Babies it may be weeks, months, or longer, but the prostitute and the Sugar Baby are one in the same and the "Johns" and the Sugar Daddies are one in the same.
blueBlackpurple 5 days ago
sex is the only thing that most women want to offer, a learned behavior from their mothers and female members of the family in an environment without fathers, that is not corrected into adulthood because their superficial needs are usually met, at least until something bad (will) happen ...
aloge 3 weeks ago
The whole relationship game is a big fat mess!
laydeemuff 3 weeks ago
@laydeemuff What relationships? People are just using one another, and it's pathetic.
blaquelovely1 3 weeks ago
Hi Elle,
Im from the Netherlands:)
There are good and bad people all over the world. Yhe most important thing for me is to communicate and say what you want of a relationship.
And do read sighs, do diligence, watch him when he think that no one sees him.
Bye
lunar371 3 weeks ago
Most of things men they buy is because of women. Everybody that has a birth certificate was initiated one through their mother(affiant/informant). Sex only happens through the woman's consent, if not it is called rap. Women are the main members of the Church, and holds it up. Man's only power comes from what a woman or women allow him to do. If women don't buy(into) anything, every falls, and is lifted back up with her praise/consent. Without her, he's like a boy who has lost his mother...
wordsthatmanifest 3 weeks ago
pt2)....Like we women were specifically made to appease 'MEN' lmao....even if that man is broke/cant provide etc he still wants dictate/have some woman serving him, as if his life would/could not possibly be complete unless he has someone docile/underneath him to make him feel 'big' 'better' than....
looktothestars9 3 weeks ago
What I dont understnd is...if women 'overseas' are soo great etc, why do sooo many come over to america? Why soo many female immigrants wanting to come to america if they love their probably 'subservant to men' lives overseas. America is where a woman can become whatever it is that they want to , and they dont have to be dictated by what a man says they have to be / act like etc...
I cant believe we live in a world where men feel like the other human(women) must serve them/their needs in
looktothestars9 3 weeks ago
@looktothestars9 Can a woman not be coerce to sign her child over to the State through the birth certificate? Can a woman speak about her natural mind/body w/o recourse from others? What can a woman in the continental United States do w/o getting a permit/license or taxed from some entity over them to do so, w/o recourse from others? Where in the 'States' can a woman learn about the Science of her womb or body freely?
wordsthatmanifest 3 weeks ago
Dogs. funny.
zimtran007 3 weeks ago
TODAY, ONE MUST BE spiritually alive....When you are spiritually intune, you are more content with urself & u control ur emotions... Being dependent on another individual in this *present life is NOT good.
Men & Women are sensitized , boys and girls are f*cking by the age of 13, so by 17, to the boy sex is not something that's hard for him to get..& girls give it up too soon these days, so by the time they are 18, you can kick a football through their vaginas...and men wont work hard for that
looktothestars9 3 weeks ago
I absolutely AGREE!!
Thats why I am in NOOO hurry to get Married at all.....And being 'alone' when I get older is not so scary...todays age we live amongst demons/blood suckers & everybody is too materialistic & competetive / people's morals are deplete!!
This is why I encourage black women to become SPIRITUALLY awaken....if your insides/ your spirit & soul is alive, you dont need the people(men) & things of this world to make you feel free.....call me corny idgof, its TRUE!
looktothestars9 3 weeks ago
i use girls unless they are really good at things if they suck at all things then i dont waste my time
tonysosa88 3 weeks ago
this is so right
tonysosa88 3 weeks ago
Why do you continue to quote Tom Leykis? That shit is old as fuck. I was a student of Tom years ago, and Ive come to the conclusion that most of his beliefs are due to his location. He lives in LA. Los Angeles has a very unique dating scene, one in which you can date random people on a weekly basis, as millions of people come from all over the world with Hollywood dreams. I dont think anyone should apply all his teachings to their daily lives if, lets say, they live in North Carolina or Utah.
ray1411 3 weeks ago
@ray1411 Tom Leykis didn't always live in LA. He started his radio career in various small and medium-sized towns around the country. And his calls came from around the country, and the world, though mostly from LA. That is the biggest mistake one can make, thinking that small-town girls will not approach dating the same way as their urban counterparts.
laughingstalk 3 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I know Leykis worked in other markets. But his biggest success and longest run was in LA, and as stated, "calls came from around the country...though mostly from LA." Most of the ideas expressed by Leykis are applicable to other areas, but he lives in an area where dating is plentiful and highly complicated. You cant convince of the fact that some areas are more traditional, as Ive been other places not as treacherous as LA. I know people who date well into their 50s in LA--thats not typical.
ray1411 3 weeks ago
@TheQueenIsWithin Damn!
universalconnections 4 weeks ago
@Mikenified What homo-parenting
universalconnections 4 weeks ago
@universalconnections I think what Mikenified means is, you know how some women who want to have kids will go to a gay friend of hers to impregnate her? Think about how they relate to each other after the child is born. The kid never sees his parents display any affection or attraction towards one another whatsoever, and they usually don't live together.Now think about the average divorce scenario.From a kid's perspective they are one and the same.
Haywerth 3 weeks ago
By the time you ask a woman out an a date, guys, you should already know whether or not she wants to have sex with you. I'm not saying you should know with absolute certainty and I'm not saying every date should end with sex. But there should be no ambiguity as to whether or not she's interested in you.
Haywerth 4 weeks ago
Marriage today is for broke motherfuckers.
producer4real 4 weeks ago
@producer4real according to Tom Leykis, marriage today is for the poor and the dumb.
laughingstalk 4 weeks ago
Your solution made me think of homo-parenting.
Mikenified 4 weeks ago
youtube should make people pay U to watch or listen to good videos as yours, i like your videos, every week i go on your page to see whats new , i like the way you dont pick sides like some others do, you change me, i been around low life dirty slime ass people all my life an they all come at any age an color, i got hurt by them , stole from me an did me wrong
Restarea11019V 1 month ago
Its seems like there is quite a few Tom Leykis video on the side to this video Uheardme, seems like hes slowly taking over the net. Type in "reformed party sluts seeking husband" and listen to the first video at the beginning. This is were he REALLY digs in to what you are addressing here!
TheDirtyVillain 1 month ago
@imsatindoll - What they do is none of my business, as long as it's not physically or verbally abusing for him or her, most of all, using protection. So, what's the solution? The solution is communication. I think we both agree that when a man or woman doesn't communicate well enough, assumptions can breed problems which most people are complaining about. The lying just has to stop. lol =)
Mikelovision 1 month ago
Comment removed
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@BlackMessiah88 That's not true and I think you know it. There is no conclusive evidence to support that theory, anywhere. Blacks are no more prone to aggression than any other racial group.
BeaSiegal 1 month ago 2
@BlackMessiah88
So does estrogen and even more effective in hormone therapy for patients with Osteoporosis and lets be fair, you got off topic when you used race as an indicator for aggression. Its not true for men or women.
BeaSiegal 1 month ago
@BlackMessiah88 Biology has done no such thing in terms of testosterone levels in women, its a hypothesis based the limited sampling of men for prostate cancer research and later by "scientists" to support early assumptions relating aggression and intelligence to race. However there is a study that supports higher levels of estrogen in nhBlack men compared to nhWhite and Hispanic men which contributes to bone mass. Pretty interesting stuff.
BeaSiegal 1 month ago
Ok question for you. I like your comment about trade. I want sex, so if you give me sex then I should give you something you want in return. Fair trade right? So what about the guy who's a "nice guy" that doesn't want to be seen as a cheapskate and takes you out to the Olive Garden instead of McDonalds. He's spending his money, on you, right? So if you dump him because you aren't "feeling it" then where is the fair trade? What did he really get for his $50?
elzoog 1 month ago
@elzoog
I know this is directed at 1sttime BUT, speaking for myself I think men need to wise up. Dont spend too much money on a woman you just met. Go on a coffee date first and feel her out. If you like her take her to a dinner date. A man that takes a woman on a dinner/expensive date out of the gate is asking to be taken advantage of. Same as a woman who puts out on the first few dates.
Unekwu89 1 month ago 5
@BlackMessiah88 yes, they are predators looking for the prey that are not aware of them.
XtraKnowledge 1 month ago
"Should men & women just trade services so both parties can get what they want & be happy?"
Is this achieved via marriage or similar relationships? Isnt the actually glue combining such unions, LOVE?
malarki5 1 month ago
@BlackMessiah88 Maybe you're right. I would need move evidence other than personal experience and testosterone levels to support those claims. So for that reason, we would have to agree to disagree. It was nice talking to you, though. Appreciate your time.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@BlackMessiah88 With what you said, I can also add that men of the black phenotype have higher testosterone levels of those of the white phenotype. Does that mean that black men are more dominant than white men? Not at all. Women from other countries are usually not brought up with the same feminist ideals, as women in this country, too. A lot of factors go into it, being of a certain phenotype has little to nothing to do with it. It's genetics, more-so.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@BlackMessiah88 To say that Asian women are more likely to be docile is simply not true. Provide proof. Biology proves that most women desire a alpha male and will become docile if she meets one. Which is why jerks always get the pretty girls. Most women have this disney like fantasy of what love is and men have this fantasy of what women are. A woman's phenotype (or race) has nothing to do with how docile and submissive she is. There is no evidence to show this.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
So in other words as long as american/western women adopted a passive aggresive attitude it it will be ok to still keep up with the same selfish behavior?
MyRedmamba 1 month ago
@MyRedmamba
Is this comment to me?
UHeardMe1stTime 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime
Oops. Thats was for blackmessiah
MyRedmamba 1 month ago
@BlackMessiah88 dumb ass! DID U even listen to the video??? SHe covered everything u just posted.
brownlivvy 1 month ago
That's a great pic!
maxjosephwheeler 1 month ago
@ImNotYourFriend...I agree 100% with what you said.
HoneiiDiiva 1 month ago
About the prosti and John. I understand that aspect very much, but it's not the kind of lifestyle I want. If I were to actually enter a relationship, I honestly do not expect a man to support me financially. I've been doing things for myself for a while (despite my age) and I like that freedom. I would want a man around for love, romance, fun and friendship (yes, sex too. Good sex). I like being honest w/ men w/ what I want. If I want sex, I tell him. If I want to date, he'll know this.
ImNotYourFriend212 1 month ago
This is why I think it's best that women pay for themselves on dates. I mean, I don't want to offend a man, but him paying for me on a date makes me extremely uncomfortable. He'll expect me to have sex asap (I may or may not be interested in that yet), or I'll feel like a golddigger, even if I am not that way. I like being my own person and having my own financial security. Letting a man pay for my things makes me feel childish.
ImNotYourFriend212 1 month ago 2
@ImNotYourFriend212 I agree. I advocate that women pay for themselves on dates. Men shouldn't be expected to carry all of the bill. Some of those restaurant bills can be expensive. Also, there are men (not all, of course) who tend to think that, if he is paying for a meal at a restaurant, that that entitles him for sex. It's just best to pay your own way.
MissNayNay 1 month ago
@MissNayNay Exactly. It's good to see another woman who feels the same way.
ImNotYourFriend212 1 month ago
@ImNotYourFriend212
"This is why I think it's best that women pay for themselves on dates."
I'm not saying it's a good thing or a bad thing but whether a guy will let you pay for a date is VERY telling about what kind of guy he is. The guys I (used) to date would not let me pay & some would even be a little offended if I tried to pay. Hmm...I should make a video about this.
UHeardMe1stTime 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime
Please make this vid! I really want to hear this!!!
Unekwu89 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime Great video! wonderfully put together. I have a few bones to pick, though. I don't think men, in general, are complaining about leverage. They are complaining about being seen as human wallets and security guards, just like women are complaining of being seen as sex objects and a trophy. What both genders fail to realize is, we are biologically engineered to be attracted to what we are. Men nor women can help that.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime So what's the problem? The problem comes when men use women's insecurities against them for sex and mistreat them, just like when women use men's ego & insecurities against him for money and security. Both sides are at fault for this, individually. A woman's main source of power IS her vagina, because at the end of the day that's what it's all about. Just like men's main source of power is their security physically and financially.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime You have made great points. "Why do you want to get what you want and I don't get what I want." This argument can go for both sides. A lot of men want to have sex with no reciprocation. At the same token, women want to go on dates, get gifts, go shopping, and use a man as a emotional crutch with no reciprocation. So it's a never ending battle of miscommunication.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime Now here is where we disagree. You said, "just because a girl decides to not see a guy after 3 dates (and him spending at least 50 per date) it doesn't necessarily mean she is playing games." That's just like me saying, "Just because a guy had sex with a girl 3 times and doesn't want to commit, because she wants commitment, doesn't necessarily mean a guy is playing games." Well, it does. Statements like that is why guys and girls are frustrated with one another.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@Mikelovision
You're assuming I disagree with your scenario. No, it does not NECESSARILY mean he's playing games but it does depend on what he's telling her. If he's lying to her, then he is playing. Same thing would apply IF the woman was pretending to like the guy just so he would keep taking her out.
UHeardMe1stTime 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime Which scenario am I assuming you disagree with? I disagree, because if he KNOWS she wants to be in a relationship but continues to "milk" her for what she has, then he is playing with her. Women do the same but in more indirect way, such as going on a whole lot of dates or using him as a emotional crutch. There are always exceptions to both scenarios.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime & He doesn't have to lie about anything. He could just act upon her insecurities and take advantage without being upfront about his intentions. Many guys do this. How many guys would mess that up, if she doesn't stop seeing him? Just like how many women would return a gift from someone she doesn't "like" like that?
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime Overall, GREAT VIDEO. I love it. Keep it coming. I have one last question, what made you come to this realization? Especially the realization that marriage, as we know it, will be extinct soon.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@Mikelovision Mike interesting points about the date scenario vs sex scenario. My take though is this...it all depends on what is being said vs assumption. Say I was single and I met this dude and he offers to pay my way (most women dont ask for a man to pay for her food mind you)...well if he is offering why not? I mean when you take someone out on a date both parties know that they are in the get together phase. Either him or her can decide to stop dating. There is no game in that.
imsatindoll 1 month ago
@Mikelovision Mike interesting points about the date scenario vs sex scenario. My take though is this...it all depends on what is being said vs assumption. Say I was single and I met this dude and he offers to pay my way (most women dont ask for a man to pay for her food mind you)...well if he is offering why not? I mean when you take someone out on a date both parties know that they are in the get together phase. Either him or her can decide to stop dating. There is no game in that.
imsatindoll 1 month ago
@imsatindoll Thanks for the great response! Now, where shall I start?
"Most women don't ask for a man to pay for her food mind you." Neither do women ask for sex, gifts, or remember their birthday. Although, if a guy ever did not do what was expected in any one of those scenarios, he would be looked at as rude, cheap, and selfish by most women. Women are great at the art of indirection.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@imsatindoll Which brings me to my next point.
"I mean when you take someone out on a date both parties know that they are in the get together phase. Either him or her can decide to stop dating. There is no game in that."
That's the problem, they don't. Why? Because each person approaches a date with different intentions. A date is usually the deciding factor on how you will act or not act upon those intentions. Now what happens usually? Usually when a guy is not direct enough
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@imsatindoll of his intentions, he gets put in the friend zone. I believe most women do this subconsciously with no bad intentions behind it, even though the outcome for the guy is never beneficial on his part. If the guy is direct enough he may get sex, a relationship, or both depending on the woman's intentions. This is not the 1950's so now we have texting. If the guy doesn't like the woman, because of what she revealed through text and or the date, he just used her for sex.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@imsatindoll On the guy's part, that was directly a game. On the female's part, that was indirectly a game. Either way, it's still a game.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@imsatindoll "if this guy convinces this girl to lay with them & they are screwing multiple times without any commitment, she feels played when he never said anything about being together in the first place, well its not like he was playing her."
I concur. But try telling that to the women that that has happen to. It's almost impossible for most women to have sex with no emotions attached. Just like it's almost impossible for most men to have sex with a woman hes not attracted to.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@Mikelovision Same goes for the sex if this guy convinces this girl to lay with them and they are screwing multiple times without any commitment and she feels played when he never said anything about being together in the first place...well its not like he was playing her.
imsatindoll 1 month ago
Comment removed
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@Mikelovision If there are any expectations or assumptions then it is that individual's responsability to speak up. Anything that is said and happened after the person communicated might be considered a game. Exampe I say to a man trying to have sex with me "No sir. I only have sex with men that I am in a relationship with" and he says "cool, I dig it. Lets be in a relationship" and we are in a relationship, he screws me, and breaks up with me. then I can rightfully say I got played.
imsatindoll 1 month ago
"If there are any expectations or assumptions then it is that individual's responsability to speak up." Again I concur, but this is not reality. Which is why miscommunication is so common among us. Your example didn't show you being played as much as it shown you being deceived. Now lets say instead you said you didn't want a relationship or sex, but he became your friend with no benefits. He is now your emotional/psychological and sometimes physical boyfriend.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@Mikelovision as unfavorable it is to be friendzoned. it is his responsibility to decline my request. if I was like "mikelovision you cool and all but I just want to be friends" and you wanted more. then it is up to you to say "imsatindoll thanks but no thanks" and move on to the next one. if I was upfront in the get go it is not a game. he feels played later on by deciding to be the girls friend when he wanted a little bit more....then unfortunately thats his fault
imsatindoll 4 weeks ago
@imsatindoll Yes, it would be his fault. No if ands or buts. Lets say you have a guy friend, that you KNOW he is attracted to you, who is spending money on you, on the phone with you all the time, & your emotional crutch. That's not being a good friend. Just like how I would NEVER keep a woman around me to have sex with & enjoy other physical pleasures just because "she didn't speak up." Morally, it's wrong. Like I said before, I don't care what people do. As long as it's safe.
Mikelovision 4 weeks ago
@imsatindoll Is that right? Knowing that he is attracted to you, kicks it with you, talks to you on the phone in hopes of one day having the balls to say something. Or maybe you would eventually change you mind & make the first move, which rarely happens. It's a game. Men aren't going to be direct with everything, because they are not stupid enough to jeopardize sex. Lets keep it 100, most women don't want to be told directly. They want to be shown directly.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@Mikelovision now for the dude who pay for date after date with nothing to show for it....if he is not going to speak up and say "we are going dutch" or "no dates for me I just want to have sex" or get information on how this girl feels about him after date #2....and just keep on taking the girl out, spending money, expecting to get something, and she tells him "sorry your not my type but it was fun while it lasted"...he cant get mad. he had expectations that he did not communicate.
imsatindoll 1 month ago 2
@imsatindoll "now for the dude who pay for date after date with nothing to show for it....if he is not going to speak up and say "we are going dutch" or "no dates for me I just want to have sex"
And jeopardize having sex with the woman he is after? Hell to the no! lol Lets be realistic, that's not how easy it is for a man. It's just like sex, most of the time it just happens. No questions are asked, before the act. She makes a indirect move or gesture and he directly acts upon it.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
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@imsatindoll "or get information on how this girl feels about him after date #2 and just keep on taking the girl out, spending money.."
Most people, especially women, know what type of person they are dealing with after date #1, lets be honest. Usually things escalate for the man or escalate for the woman, from that point. He keeps spending time & money on the girl, because he is a heterosexual man who is attracted to a woman. Although, it is his fault for not speaking up.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@imsatindoll Now, my favorite part "expecting to get something, and she tells him "sorry your not my type but it was fun while it lasted"...he cant get mad. he had expectations that he did not communicate."
I can say the same for when a guy (knowing she wants a relationship, because of what she said on the date) never commits, while using her insecurities, for his sexual pleasure. The girl continues the sexual relationship because she believes he will change. Even though he
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@imsatindoll means no harm, he getting what he wants out of her without any reciprocation. Taking advantage of an insecure woman or girl is like taking advantage of a man who has no backbone. In conclusion, I agree. They can't get mad at that. At the same token, we all know that being direct is not as easy as you put it. I'm not mad at the woman using the guy for his money, & neither am I mad at the guy using the girl for sex. Still, that doesn't mean they are not getting played.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
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Mikelovision 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime UHeardMe, did you get my message in your inbox?
MissNayNay 1 month ago
@MissNayNay
yes, I have not gotten a chance to answer but I will.
UHeardMe1stTime 1 month ago
Comment removed
Mikelovision 1 month ago
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@UHeardMe1stTime When a guy uses money on a girl he is attracted to, the end result consciously or subconsciously is to have sex with her. Just like a females end result is to be in a financially, emotionally, & physically secure relationship. Women know what's their "cup of tea" on the first date, lets be real. Marriage, as we know it, is going extinct. Over the course of time, in history marriage has been redefined. It will have to be redefined again,
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime
"The guys I (used) to date would not let me pay & some would even be a little offended if I tried to pay. Hmm...I should make a video about this. "
EXACTLY! And I for one would love to hear your view on this. I can almost bet from what you just stated, I would probably agree with you.
ianslass 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime Make the vid! Make the vid!
imsatindoll 1 month ago
@imsatindoll
"Make the vid! Make the vid!"
lmao! ...
KaptanSolo 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime Please do! That would be a interesting topic. :)
IvoryRoseify 1 month ago
@ImNotYourFriend212
Agreed.
looktothestars9 3 weeks ago
I guess at the end of the day, I can't blame ya. If I was a hot chick, id do the same thing! I believe if you're a decent looking chick, you should have NO excuse for being broke...
autismpete 1 month ago
@autismpete Most women do not want to sell sex for money, no matter how attractive they are. I'd rather work at McDonalds than selling myself. Why? Too many risk factors: I could get killed. I could get raped. I could get HIV. I could get attacked in many other ways. Not to mention the psychological damage. No thanks.
ImNotYourFriend212 1 month ago
@ImNotYourFriend212 No one said anything about selling sex. It's about getting as much as you can for a guy without having to give up the goods. For the guy, it's about trying to get the goods while spending as less as possible. This is where the sexes compromise and, sadly, this is where also stuff goes wrong...
autismpete 1 month ago
Great video with great points. I think that one blind spot that you have is that feminism lied to woman and changed them. Feminism told woman that they can use men the way that patriarchy used them and that woman are justified in what ever they decide to do him. This has hardened mens hearts. Woman want to be independent and say they don't need men but still want Victorian age chivalry . Not only is this unfair to men, it confuses the he'll out of us. Now men are confused about a mans role.
alansjf33 1 month ago
Question: Who's the chick in the default photo? Is that you, UheardMe1stTime?
iluvlycheenuts 1 month ago
I can understand the reasons for abstinence. But men have a greater hormonal/physical need for sex. That's why Viagra and Cialis is so popular for older men. It's not always about games or messing women over; just turns out that way sometimes. Men see sex as a mutual activity that both can enjoy, and can let sex be just sex, with few hang-ups. Women see it as giving up something or giving in, being used, and tend to emotionally dwell on it making it more complicated.
CSILogic 1 month ago
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@CSILogic
" "Women see it as giving up something or giving in, being used, and tend to emotionally dwell on it making it more complicated."
Yeah, but when women give it up & dont 'dwell' on giving it up, they are labeled as easy, whores
looktothestars9 3 weeks ago
I'm not tricking off a Bitch! and fuck all dem games, I say just get money and have fun...sex ain't everything.Yeah i come across a few birds now and then, but when the right girl come around that love me for me... I be stupid not to hold on to her.
LyricalMasterMind1 1 month ago
@LyricalMasterMind1 Exactly. Some of these guys just don't get it. In relationships you win some you lose some. You may not end up having sex with her but she may give you good advice that you really needed or hook you up with the right people to further yourself. The 'birds' only stick around as long as you keep em'. I call women like that 'pets' which is quite appropriate.Going on expensive first dates with a woman could be encouraging bad habits & expectations.
TheQueenIsWithin 1 month ago
@BlackMessiah88
"alot of women simply see men as a means to provide them a certain lifestyle "
And a lot of men see when as a place to put their private parts. Nature programmed women to look for men who can provide for her & any children she plans to have. Even animal females prefer alpha males because they can provide for and /or protect her & her young.
UHeardMe1stTime 1 month ago 10
great vid! i enjoyed it a lot, but i think we can go back to the old system by forcing government to take their freaking hands off.
MGsven 1 month ago
great piece...that is why i abstain from sex so much easier than all the games and bullsh't because you cant miss what you never had and most people get the hint from the jump
nolakiss 1 month ago 2
@nolakiss
Me too!!
Im sooo A-SEXUAL, and could not beg for anything other.
If one (specially females) want sexual pleasure..its nothing wrong with pleasing herself..there are soo many devices designed specifically for that, for us women...
However, most men even though they please themselves allot with their hands, they want to feel the hot warmth of a woman's vagina...there is nothing(no toy) that can really imitate the hot warmth of a vagina...then again heat activated body oil?!
looktothestars9 3 weeks ago
If men and women have complain about something change it up. Do something different for a change. Quit doing the expected, or the norm. But hey to each their own...
ShinIsTrue 1 month ago 2
(Cont) I also concur with you and your mate do what you do, not anybody or societies rules. That's the way to do it! That is how me and my mate do it she, and I don't fall for that hublah. lol
Shin~
ShinIsTrue 1 month ago
Media.... experience, society... All the constructs of the destruction of relationships.
Great video I watched the whole thing and agree...
"If it's a dog eat dog world
Give them a mental shock collar."
Do the opposite of the masses.
Don't hook up with bullshitters. Don't date sugar babies. What happens? Narrow it down there goes your few to talk to, but many do not have the patience to do that these days.
Insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results.
ShinIsTrue 1 month ago
I agree with @myRedmamba!!
HoneiiDiiva 1 month ago
Great prodcast UheardMe1stTime ! I general don't make posts, but this important issue for modern society to deal with. It's always freshing to hear your two cents. I like how you look at the facts fairly from both the men's and women's perspectives. I think you paint a very accurate picture of the current modern dating scene. Sad but true.
Coolmartini007 1 month ago
Why are these men still bitching? If you don’t want to get married then don’t. If you don’t want kids then don’t. If all you want is sex than go visit a hooker. Why spend so much time on the internet complaining about something you stated you were against or don’t want? Just don’t do it. And if foreign women are the answer to you prayers than go get one.
MyRedmamba 1 month ago 11
@MyRedmamba maybe they're confused and don't really know what they want, regardless of whatever they may say.
kookieswtf 1 month ago 2
@MyRedmamba The truth is the foreign women are no different..in fact many of them are WORSE...when they see these suckas they see 'GREEN CARD'. One day she goes to buy a quart of milk or some rice and ..poof gone! I'm a caribbean woman...I wouldn't lie. What is taking place here is men generally dont like to admit they have emotional needs.They do not know WHAT they want. They could just take a hooker and pay for sex but they want emotional commitment too but too insecure to say so.
TheQueenIsWithin 1 month ago 4
"I would rather weep in a BMW" Thats what Chinese woman said to an average man on a talk show when he asked her out. That comment made news across China because it reflected the common attitude about dating in China. India is similar. Don’t even dare approach quality Indian women without a degree and cash. If she doesn’t shoot you down her family will…..And yet American men love the myth of the docile feminine Asian women and insist they are the alternative to American women
MyRedmamba 1 month ago 11
Continue.
Another thing I find ironic is that these men complain about western women being “used up” and “ran threw” but turn a blind eye to the fact that a fair amount (not all) of those foreign exchange brides are ex prostitutes /escorts or poor slum girls looking for a way out of there former life styles.
MyRedmamba 1 month ago 4
@MyRedmamba Yes..I live in Trinidad and some of the old wealthy yachties (white north american men) come here thinking they can get a wife. My friends neighbour married one of them and is living in a mansion in Texas right now. She was an underhand prostitute and she's at least 20 years younger than him. The whole town knew what she did so she couldnt get a husband here - she's in her 40's. I know she had a hard life & wish her well but those are facts. Game recognise game.
TheQueenIsWithin 1 month ago
@MyRedmamba Very true. Asian women ARE far from 'docile' Still waters run deep and passive agressives are the WORST folks to contend with. They live in a culture of 'the unspoken' where one thing implies the other. This vid is a fine example of that myth being dispelled:
watch?v=vmrkFg8WXOg
when I show men this they just shut up. People are just people.
TheQueenIsWithin 1 month ago
@MyRedmamba Lol funny right?
ImNotYourFriend212 1 month ago
@MyRedmamba I agree! men should quit complaining. I think the frustration comes from not knowing the biological differences between men & women. Most heterosexual men desire submissive pretty women. Most women desire a dominant male who is financially secure for him and her. It's kinda selfish on both ends, but that's biology! It's equally wrong to go after a girl for sex as it is for a woman to go after a guy for money. The difference is that being in love involves sex, not money.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
@MyRedmamba You know that buying sex is illegal, right? If a man was to get caught, which many do, he has to live with that on his record forever. Sex isn't as assessable as you believe it is, which is why a lot of men are frustrated. If prostitution was legal, you would notice a HUGE change in the attitudes of men.
Mikelovision 1 month ago
Wow, this is an in depth video of logic. Good stuff
JazzyZenBrotha 1 month ago
I'm independent & depend on nobody! Some women use sex as a weapon. They'll give up.the goods if a man has the goods (money, nice material items). It's life. Some people are tired of being effed over in relationships and are fine with the exchange. But some people want love in the exchange of sex. It's only wrong if the person is used. If the person wants love in the exchange of sex, it is wrong if he sees different...
HoneiiDiiva 1 month ago
Gotta agree with you this time, Uheardme. It's called quid pro quo. Love the videos, Uheardme. Keep on keepin on.
radiodriver10 1 month ago
ALL media (TV, movies, music, news) shrills at us constantly about "alienation". Alienation from the opposite sex; From religion. From government. From other races and cultures. From our heritage and former values. Etc. etc., etc.
They call it "news". But is it? Or, is it instead, "predictive programming"?
@UHeardMe1stTime - I ♥ your balance. I'd love to know you IRL. :-)
nameofthepen 1 month ago
im a man..great video... remind me of the nononsenseman, marc rudov...should check it out.
simplelife1987 1 month ago
@simplelife1987 I'm familiar with Marc Rudov, and don't believe he advocates men paying for punani.
laughingstalk 1 month ago
@laughingstalk at 17:05, "If I wasn't married to this sweet guy, I'd still be a sugar baby" -UHeardMe1st. SHE said it. In other words: "If I wasn't married to this sweet guy mangina that provides for me, I'd still be ho'ing-it-up right now! And if one day I feel like cashing out (divorce, alimony), I'd go right back to ho'ing-it-up!".
bgrim2008 1 month ago
@bgrim2008 now we know why UHM1T is attracted to older, established men. But she did admit that she couldn't do the "sugar baby" thing forever, so she couldn't just jump back into the game if she divorced tomorrow. Even though, for obvious reasons, she takes the female side of various issues, I do have to respect her for articulating her views in a straightforward, unemotional manner, and I do my best to address her in kind.
laughingstalk 1 month ago
@laughingstalk You are right. I know. Should have mentioned just parts such as women wanting to give up sex but will not because to pacify insecure men's opinions of them and how all that is based on the myth that the male sex drive is stronger than the female. Also when she speaks how there is no fairness in relationships. Marc is about the peer and equality relationship.
simplelife1987 1 month ago
@simplelife1987 but there is no equality in a relationship if one party is perceived as being inherently more valuable than the other. When one party has to pay for the physical and emotional companionship of the other. Some women say, "My time is valuable." Like a man's isn't? But UHM1T does address these issues in a straightforward way that no other female on YouTube does.
laughingstalk 1 month ago
@laughingstalk I agree with you but I was not expecting that from her. The message I took note of in my previous comment was good for what it was in generality. Rudov speaks on a whole other level. Of course there is no equality when one is more valuable or self entitlement is concerned or that princess syndrome. If you want Chinese, you can't go to IHOP. I took her message for what it was worth, based on what I noted earlier.
simplelife1987 1 month ago
Bitter ? I'm not the one who immaturely deleted someone's comment just because I don't agree with their advice for men. LOL@this butt-hurt feminist, "we need to go into a system of complete trade-off, If I wasn't married to this sweet guy, I'd still be a sugar baby". Does your husband know you was a "sugar baby" and that you would still be one today if you was single ? See men, DON'T get married to western feminized women!
bgrim2008 1 month ago
@bgrim2008
"I'm not the one who immaturely deleted someone's comment just because I don't agree with their advice for men."
You should know how to use YouTube by now. Hit see all comments & you will find your dribble. I do not delete comments.
Me & my man make the rules for our relationship, not society & not YOU so buck out of it.
UHeardMe1stTime 1 month ago 2
@UHeardMe1stTime I didn't see my comment anywhere after your reply. I know many youtubers delete comments they disagree with. My bad for the confusion. Now, you clearly said "If I wasn't married to this sweet guy, I'd STILL be a sugar baby." C'mon fellas, what does that sound like ? Would you, a self respecting man, settle for a woman that use to be a "sugar baby" ? and openly admits that if it wasn't for her marriage (extortion opportunity), she'd still be a sugar baby ?
bgrim2008 1 month ago
@bgrim2008
"Now, you clearly said "If I wasn't married to this sweet guy, I'd STILL be a sugar baby.""
It's no different than a man saying he turned in his player card when they met that 1 exceptional woman. So spare me.
And like I said, me & my man make the rules for our marriage, not society. We do things how WE decide to do them.
UHeardMe1stTime 1 month ago 3
@UHeardMe1stTime i think as long as you dont pressure a woman into sex and women like that . so she wont have alot of pressure on me lol.
ryanr20091 1 month ago
@bgrim2008
You're so traumatized that you label all females as feminists. If you opened your ears & switched off your emotions you would understand that this is not a feminist stance. You are not entitled to free sex.
UHeardMe1stTime 1 month ago 16
@UHeardMe1stTime Now I'm bitter AND traumatized ? God damn! Again, Men should not marry in today's western feminized world. Why ? Because if a man cheats, mistreats his wife, the woman gets paid after divorce plus alimony. If a woman cheats and mistreats her husband, the woman gets paid after divorce plus alimony lol. Also, the no-fault divorce clause adds to the rip off that which is marriage. Even a "pre-nup" won't save a man from extortion.
bgrim2008 1 month ago
@bgrim2008
Have you watched any of my other vids. Just because I'm married doesn't mean I agree with the unfair marriage laws of today. I would not do any of that dirty stuff to my guy but it's really irrelevant because I intend to stay married 'til 1 of us dies.
UHeardMe1stTime 1 month ago 9
@UHeardMe1stTime me i tottally agree
MGsven 1 month ago
@bgrim2008
This comment sorta of screams "Bitter."
BelTriniCurls 1 month ago
@BelTriniCurls
Lol!!
Right...
looktothestars9 3 weeks ago
@bgrim2008 i know ur point, it is indeed dangerous, and for young men its most def a no travel advice. marriage that it cant be saved, i guess a new bond called something like a "love contract" is due for inventing, to leave the baggage of marriage behind. the gays can have it ;)
MGsven 1 month ago
@UHeardMe1stTime I don't think any man feels "entitled to free sex" in this society. I don't think any man wants "free sex" like we get free food samples in a mall food court. Men are taught from an early age that we have to earn what we want out of life. Even men who don't pay for sex, and don't go on dates, have to do SOMETHING to get a woman's interest and consent, like talking or dancing. As far as a sense of entitlement, generally women have men beat in that area.
laughingstalk 1 month ago
All I hear is feminist apologist reasoning and logic. Bottom line for men, don't marry a western feminized skank who will use sex as tool to manipulate you and extort you of your hard earned money. Also, there is no point, no point at all in marrying a woman that has already been ran up by scores of men. Don't fall for the "nice girl" routine! Many of these women of today have been fucked-n-chucked so many times that they are psychologically beat (aside from being beat pussy).
bgrim2008 1 month ago
@bgrim2008
Bitter much?
UHeardMe1stTime 1 month ago
@bgrim2008 not only that but many women now a days are trying to say that HOE is a good thing. Supposedly in ancient africa hoes were worshipped.
bibadoe 1 month ago
@bibadoe Exactly! Hos are now acceptable! I mean W-T-F! Would you TRUST a ho with your money, belongings, home, family, friends ? Manginas and simps are hugely to blame as well. You can't even call out belligerent female behavior without having some mangina nigga come at you threatening to slice you up for calling out belligerent ho behavior (probably because they themselves are wifed-up to a ho lol). Now Feminazis say that it is wrong to call a ho a ho and a slutt a slutt lol.
bgrim2008 1 month ago
@bgrim2008 You sound quite bitter.Why would you think feminists are skanks? Someone who follows feminism could believe in anything.There are MANY feminists that are against women using their bodies for commercial purposes.Just cuz someone is a Dem or Rep does not mean they are all the same.You talk about women who've been 'run up' by scores of men but you don't mention the men that have been 'run up' by scores of women,have a man on the side (douple dipping) & come home to their wives
TheQueenIsWithin 1 month ago 2
@TheQueenIsWithin Yes, I'm "bitter" because I suggested men not to get married for obvious reasons I have explained in my previous comments.
bgrim2008 1 month ago
if a woman gives a man sex, he is giving her something in return already--SEX. it's EQUAL. that's the problem here. women have been conditioned to see sex as dirty unless they choose with whom they're sleeping...then it's considered womanly or tough. Women can't simply enjoy sex any more without asking for something in return. That's the issue here. It's an equal exchange. Both our genitals are used for peeing and fucking. Why do women enjoy putting themselves on a pedestal so much?
muskduh 1 month ago
@muskduh
"if a woman gives a man sex, he is giving her something in return already--SEX. "
Fine. If I go out with a man but don't have sex with him, he's still getting something. COMPANIONSHIP. But guess what...that's probably not what he was hoping for.
The point is not to get SOMETHING in return. It's to get what you WANT.
UHeardMe1stTime 1 month ago 6
@UHeardMe1stTime
yes I agree and if you want to have sex with a man and he wants to fuck you then you're both getting something you want. sex is a form of companionship but not necessarily love. open and clear communication is needed so people stop lying to each other all the time.
muskduh 1 month ago
@muskduh I had a 'friends with benefits' arrangement with a guy once only to find out he was actually hoping for a real relationship.When I found out he was getting too attached and needy I had to cut him off.Why are you talking about women when men do it too?People have sex for different reasons..mostly emotional ones.My experience is that men who play can't handle it when they realise that the women who they are playing play the game harder. So people don't just have sex for sex sake.
TheQueenIsWithin 1 month ago