Secret secrets of scientologist TOM CRUISE BANNED IN GERMANY

[DancinFool]

Hahahaha!

[phantom6680]

Great fucking vid bro, LMMFAO...excellent.!! :-)....so true....sooooo true. im in the usa here....freekin funny as hell.! :-)

[polehammer]

this is just guilty of being dull

[blitzblutz]

Can 80 million Germans be wrong?... Again?

[andyforthemaster]

Thow hasth not been touched by his noodly appendage.

[askurmomma]

fucking racist asshole

[mrmelkor1]

hey don't lump the poor Pastafarians in with those other assholes!

[needparalegal]

@mrmelkor1 My Invisible Flying Unicorn will sodomize your false Spaghetti God!

[01jerm10]

Myspace! LOL

[MrSlik777]

ROFL!!!hehehe

[samuelweiler]

Is das jetzt Deutschen-Feindlich?

Ich kapier diesen Sehr zerquetschten Akzent nicht :/

[ChrisRenucci]

nein, ist eine ironische rede auf scientology, also wenn du so willst ist es pro.

[samuelweiler]

@ChrisRenucci Achso ok ;)

[SukaStyle]

LMAOROF!!!!! GENIUS!

[xfire7]

519 negative ratings, the rest of the sciantoligists were on holiday then!

[Kenneth1238]

Hey.... at least the church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster knows its a joke

[bbenally88]

Travolta and Kristey alley + cheesecake? So fucking tempting. hahaha

[SmartPorcupine]

awesomenesity

[Hypastpist]

THE CHEESECAKE IS A LIE

[HebrewHammer631]

Lol great vid.

[burnrider2001]

Wait wait wait... You're telling me that Scientology is offering free cheesecake?? I was told there would be PIE!!!

[mcmillandr]

The thing about comedy is that it's meant to be funny.

[fritzki1]

@mcmillandr agreed.

[mcmillandr]

The thing about comedy is that it's meant to be funny.

[Arcadian0769]

I would say if the church of scientology just played this video to people on the RPF over and over again that this man would have them broke in just half the time; with his "get-into-your-cell structure-annoying" demeanor. Still quite funny though

[mizuhokazami1]

all religions want to brain wash you. they tell you things like you go to hell or your a bad person so that you will eventually believe. its people who are atheist who will survive in the end

[Numinous123]

All religions are made up.

[MrTalgon]

Lol

[lilyfactor]

love your accent!

[flowertrue]

508 people have had botox on their forehead

[VariusSep]

This is funny!

[ryansdogsadie]

i love this guy

[OutofTHATWorld]

You are an ignorant racist pos.

[jnycnuk]

beck was born into the cult. hayes was probably targeted like many other celebs are.

[MrBeautifulba1]

@jnycnuk Dammit. WTF !! I say trust no religion that appears in a suit and tie. The Suit and Tie is evil. It is humanities way of convincing itself that it is not an animal.

[Racingirl911]

Funny, funny vid!!

[jnycnuk]

A Sea Org staffer ... was taken along to do personal cooking for Tom Cruise and [David] Miscavige at the expense of Scientology not for profit religious organizations. This left only 3 cooks at Gold [Base] to cook for 800 people three times a day ... apartment cottages were built for the use of John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Edgar Winter, Priscilla Presley and other Scientology celebrities who are carefully prevented from finding out the real truth about the Scientology organization

[MrBeautifulba1]

@jnycnuk Why are these certain celebrities drawn to this insanity ?? I don't understand.

[jnycnuk]

@MrBeautifulba1 celebs are treated much better than the average scientologist, however, they are turning a blind eye to the abuses,

[MrBeautifulba1]

@jnycnuk Do you know what it is that hooks them in ? It boggles my mind that Issac hayes and Beck buy into this.

[Druffmaul]

All religions are cults as far as I'm concerned. Scientology just happens to be one of the newer ones. They're all equally idiotic.

[TheOchita]

hahahahaha GREAT just GREAT !

[000000AEA000000]

Stauffenberg was no anti-nazi. urgh. get your facts right.

[Shogunmiyuchan]

1. Scientology IS a cult and has been proven to be

2. Tom Cruise would be a much more favourable person if he removed Scientology from his life

3. Battlefield Earth SUCKS

4. Scientology is modern-day form of money-grubbing, spying, secretive, lying CRAP

[ossobuco888]

@KLRider well.... if they would use the army and the concentration camps in order to exterminate those dangerous brain/washed/stupid scientology I would strongly support them...

[GoThIcWoNdErGIRL]

@ossobuco888 Lol they do that within thier organization already.

[ossobuco888]

Germans are the greatest people on earth, very intelligent...and i hope they will ban scientology I hope, very soon

[manbearpig135]

most of america hates scientology

[NSTX7]

Truth about scientology: Its gay

[MeBeMat]

The FSM isn't part of America's plethora of batshit crazy religions, it's a deliberate parody of those same batshit crazy religions.

[skankinjimbo]

Aren't all religions crazy and made up?

[ekocentric]

@skankinjimbo I agree. Religious leaders don't have to be Rhodes scholars though. Their parishioners are usually made up of people are usually people who have had some horrible thing happen and reach out to anything (even weird things) for help.

[lance9772]

@skankinjimbo NO

[YerJob]

scientology is occult.

L ron hubbard took alot of his stuff from aleister crowley & jack parsons

[FeachMachugh]

@YerJob

It's a cult but not the occult. Everything in scientology is very clearly second rate science fiction. None of it really resembles any of crowley's works to be honest.

[skhackersk]

@YerJob

why then____???

[minnescanada]

Funny Stuff!

[williamkendrick]

because he's dangerous.

as dangrous as scientology.

[skhackersk]

@williamkendrick

why ios sciet. dangerouse____????why??? not joking just asking, cheers

[BoNgWaTeRdEmOn]

dude, im with you,im from america and i think that religion is getting outrageous there

[obdachloss]

503 SCIENTOLOGISTS DISLIKED THIS VIDEO

[peope1976]

And scientology differs from other older crazy ass religions like roman catholisism or baptism or shia or sunni islam how?

They are *all* buttcrack crazy.

[JBofBrisbane]

@peope1976 - as someone brought up Catholic, I can tell you that the Catholic Church does not require you to hand over a percentage of your earnings, which in Scientology's case, is AS MUCH AS THEY CAN SCREW OUT OF YOU.

[TheTumorface]

prick

[luvbey]

omg another wacko on youtube!!!

[ConstantC4]

lol if you can an on basis of nazism you can ban on the basis of scientology .

read their shit. I mean their own fucking site.

[00Gr1mm00]

@ConstantC4 Thats the problem even here in germany we cant ban all the retarded national sozialist partys.They are just saying they are not nazis they just a party that sees things differently.Then they beat up muslims and Jews or fight against the left oriented Idiots.And we cant ban the party because they claim they did it as individual and not for the nazi party.

[G40rc3]

why would Germans do such Horrible things to Scientology? Because Scientology makes your head = sh*t and with that happening we would never have the privilege of owning botoxed foreheads

[chez3makr]

Ha! He has the same idea as me!

[badgescops]

it is a cult anon for life scientoligy will be brought down

[MrBono89]

Scientology and religion is stupid

[MechaStudios]

The cake is a lie!

[theblueo1]

Secret secrets? You don't say.

[blackhawk1788]

cheeeeeeese ceeeeeeeeeeeeeeke

[masluxx]

good stuff ..... !!!!

[illuminaz1]

his funny

[TheFingerbuns]

>He thinks FSM is a real religion

[munsking]

@TheFingerbuns implying FSM makes less sense than any religion out there, recognised or not?

[TheFingerbuns]

@munsking

FSM isn't a religion, it's a criticism of Christianity put forth in an essay. No one practices pastafarianism in earnest.

[MrvlZmb]

"Crazy made-up religions." = redundant

[electronicmedium]

all religions are false due to the fact no man knows the truth.

[Stewbid11]

Funny! But seriously, co$ is evil!

[illemE35]

can't take the mono tone weegie accent any longer. try going up at the end of a sentence.

[ilovehenriklarsson]

fuckin poofter

[furball79]

Oh man. your dialect is so freaking good.

[expertizzlist]

tom cruise certainly isn't banned in germany...

[gibbsuk]

not that funny....

[Swedishhamster]

I love his dialect :D

[mahenur]

LMAO!!



[mahenur]

LMAO!!

[CarolinaSwethrt]

he sounds like shrek

[coralin378]

@CarolinaSwethrt

wow you're right! lol

[TRYER25]

@CarolinaSwethrt Way better accent than Mike Myers. Execs should of hired him instead=]

[lilaygee]

well, the whole point of the spaghetti monster is the make fun of america's inability to seperate church from state. so I'm not sure it counts. wikipedia it!

[CinemaEpic]

What are your crimes?

[mebeluvined]

@CinemaEpic funny as shit

[capkarr]

now I do like this guy!!!!

[cusanusnicolas]

Another sucker born every minute.

[ashhoe100]

mabey would be more seirous if you had someone in that cult oviuosly some one who does not work Looser

[an0nim0uz]

Scientology? A CULT?

WAT.

TAKE YOU PSYCH MEDS.

[KrispyApplez]

@an0nim0uz

Cult :D

[has2cats]

the difference between a cult and religion? ...time

[3nderoX]

it is refreshing to know that one day i could write about my nuts beings the center of the universe and invent half-assed non clinical ways to improve peoples lives and be the founder of my very own religion XD lol...

[KrispyApplez]

@3nderoX

God of hemp and fertility!

Nuts center of all living fertility. Penis plants and pussy willows givers of life. On outskirt is ass and shit, destroyers of life.

[DRDNIBOY]

WAY TO GO GERMANY!

[TracyAndersonFoxhunt]

you're bald, but at least you're not jewish

[StMichaelFan513]

LOL

great job

[eisbaeraurora]

As soon as he said "made up religions" I knew he was going to mention us, the LDS Church....

[darthspeaks]

@eisbaeraurora I agree - there are people out there that not have yet found the truth...

[erato99]

@eisbaeraurora

Don't feel bad... all religion is made up and created by man, therefore, it's all bullshit.

The problem I have with the people who love to bash scientology is that they are hypocrites. Most are not atheist, therefore they are perpetuating the time-honored tradition of: my superstition is better than your's

[eisbaeraurora]

@erato99 I do hope you'll forgive me if I don't play the "try to prove my superstition true or false" game with you. You probably know neither of us will make headway, even though we're both so sure that logic is on our side... Go find someone else to argue with. I'm not bitin'.

And for the record, you're not referring to me when you mention "people who love to bash Scientology."

[erato99]

@eisbaeraurora

I wasn't attempting to bait you into an argument by any means, as I am atheist and do not try to persuade others to my views. I was simply pointing out the fact that most of the people who crap on Scientology are of Christianity or some other faith. And that was the "game" that I was referring to... I commented to you because the guy in the video called out Mormonism as somewhat unacceptable in context; making some sort of comparison of scientologists to mormons. That was all.

[KrispyApplez]

@erato99@eisbaeraurora

Both idiots. Scientology iscult. End.

[iluminadalegria]

That's was fun!

[SandThruFingers]

Battlefield Earth = worst movie EVER!!

[greenghost2008]

@SandThruFingers It just needed alittle tweaking but the faults were really really bad.

[soupdragon42]

Hilarious

[hurley322]

lol so every president since Theodore Roosevelt meets with the Head of Mormon church every year, his admistration coordinates directly with the church in humanitarian and natural disasters, practice everything the new testament teaches, but their a cult???!!!! hahahah. do your research hahahaha.

[darthspeaks]

@hurley322 You should check where you get your information...

[roboptions]

Every post paid envelope you can find from scientology & Dianetics. Fill it with a print out of Xenu Leaflet. Than tape it to a brick and send it back as a response. Best way to protest. Tell all your friend to do this. The church of scientology will have a huge mail bill and each letter opened will free one of their members. Once you red Xenu leaflet they kick you out automatically. Tell as many people as you can. Power of the many. A million people send bricks back that should do something.

[maxinpains]

this guy! using The name of the big star!!! pathetic guy ...lol Scientlogy got banned in germany but not The TOM CRUISE.

[tomboi115]

2:11 the cake is a lie

[pyscoticsnake]

spaghetti flying monster ftw

[1rocknroy]

Seriously $cientology is about getting YOUR money, period.

[ih8makinusernames]

One more reason for me to love Germany.

[DudeNumberOnePlus]

shit, i found that the dude starring earl hickey in "my name is earl" is scientology nut too... now i cant enjoy the show, knowing what faggot he is.

[fraterlucifer888]

THE CAKE IS A LIE

[MyPrivateMuse]

The Church of the Spaghetti Flying Monster was actually formed to MOCK all religions. It's an inside joke. Thought I'd let you know. :D

[janejanejane7]

do you ever take your shirt off in these videos?????

[missionfarstar]

cell phones are a cult too...what isn't

[Charlamane100]

This video is hysterical.

[Adventurestud]

heh heh heh

[DubbleLzNhell]

lmao..."with cake....cheesecake"

[jwmacaw]

not like the Episcopalian's that could have prince charlie as pope. no crazy cult/religion there laddie buck

[toryluvslrh2]

The only thing funny about this guy is his fake accent. I guess this is where you do your routine when no dive will hire you huh?

[judyreese]

@toryluvslrh2 I think he's freakin funny & I loved his accent. It was clearly authentic.

[toryluvslrh2]

@judyreese - Thats ok. I'm really not surprised that you feel that way.  Enjoy him.

[nitram135]

Well i do like cheese cake

[TheSindakit]

to all ANONYMOUS members, my message to all of you is that your heart is in the right place, but your approach is very childish, take those masks off and stop hating or judging these victims of this church, be compassionate and loving to your neighbor, whether he's a Jew, a Muslim, a Scientologist or what have you, they are no more stuck in the matrix than are most of you, love will set all free... Blessing to all of you brave souls, please analyze your actions for the sake of fellow man

[HonKyTanKMaN]

@TheSindakit The mask wearing thing isn't shildish at all since its a way to represent the Anonymous movement. Anonymous is wearing those mask because we are EVERYONE !

PS: you should not put scientologist with muslim, and jews since scientology isn't a religion BUT A CULT!

The point about the Kindness of the heart = Totaly agree! But being against the cult of scientology isn't BAD at all. We respect those who quits.

Scientologist do not respect people NOT JOINING them. Why should we do so ?

[judyreese]

@HonKyTanKMaN anonymous wears the masks because Scientologists practice "fair game" google it.... I dare ya.

[toryluvslrh2]

@judyreese - I read your fairgame comment and was saddened by your ignorance. I figured you to be smarter than that. I was wrong. And we both know the only reason anons wear a mask is because they are kids and they are afraid.  But what do you expect from an internet babysitting group like anon? You should wear YOUR mask when you listen to this lousy comic. (grin)

[HonKyTanKMaN]

@judyreese I know everythjing about their fair game "policies" and all those tactics should be punished by the PEOPLE, Law can't do anything about them... people DO !

[illuminaz1]

@TheSindakit what you say sounds reasonable but I simply can not accept people who believe in something. I am an atheist and think all religion is a big lie. think it is wrong to believe in something that does not exist and frankly do not understand people can be so stupid. we live in 2010 and we know natural disasters have nothing whatsoever to do with religion. and it has never proven. seems a little odd, does it not?

[nosdog136]

cheesecake FTW!!!

[upainuly]

OMG you're German accent was so funny !!oops i missed the point of the video ;)

[danielrep]

Scientology is, at its best, a blatant imbecility.

[Deltar2r]

thers a huge spectrum to scottish accents, i reckon u kno wo sayin. However it is either your way of presenting yourself or just how you are but thank atheismo i dont sound anything like this and im born inverness. Slàn leat yerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr pah

[bobodd5]

no its just that he is such a dork

[drgngrl355]

You know, I am German, and I find it very funny ^^

But Scientology seriously scares me... If you've ever lost your friend to this f***ing "church", you'll know what I mean...

[JLLproductions]

cheesekeek lol

[Segepop]

nazzy impression - WIN \o/

[Farfallevendetta1234]

@AonaranMan yes..you should try humour, its good for you

[HonKyTanKMaN]

Scientology = CULT = KILLERS = RAPIST = Mentaly Retarded Bunch of IDIOTS

[rumpwrestler]

@HonKyTanKMaN Many years ago, I openly attacked the Scientology frauds, and my life was threatened. I turned the problem over to the FBI and never heard from these nut cases again!

[HonKyTanKMaN]

@rumpwrestler people should openly challenge the Scientology. Here in Quebec City some retard people (because those aren't brillant enough to see that its a cult and that ITS BAD) give some papers about the CULT of scientology and each time he wants to give me the paper I strongly tell him to LEAVE THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT... now each time he tries to give papers to people around me... i STILL tell him to do so or then i'll kick the hell out of him

[TheSindakit]

@HonKyTanKMaN

listen, and this is a wake up call for all ANONYMOUS members, you guys are all acting in hypocrisy in the way you guys are approaching all of this, I PLEAD each and every single on of you to stop being hateful and judgmental towards these people, remember they are all stuck in the same lie most of you are equally stuck in, spread the gospel of love for God is love and nothing else.... who tells someone to leave the fuck out of my sight???? let me ask, who are you?? it is a fact

[TheSindakit]

@HonKyTanKMaN

that this church is definitely straying from the word of God, I admit a lot of their teachings are very accurate, none the less they are false due to the fact they they are charging for this knowledge and claiming to want to help others, the way I see it, if you see someone drowning and you have a rope, are you going to charge that person for being saved??? well a scientologist would probably answer yes, but the right thing to do is to do it out of the kindess of your heart

[Baeloth]

excellent vid :P

[k3nny111]

I dont know why the whole world seems to thinks that all germans talk like bavarian.

[DecafBread]

@k3nny111 Im pretty sure its just his normal accent mixed with a German accent.... >_>

[fingerone2010]

Again he has cut to the core of the Bull dust and its not Tom Cruise's acting ,the less said of that the better its nutty beliefs. Well done sir!

[hellacelt]

Dear Wanna be Yankee Doodle Dandy AKA fat/broke& stupid - I come from Scotland and served in the U.S. Navy, believe in America and Apple pie. You non Celts wouldn't dare diss us to our faces or you'd find a real Highland Charge up yer ass ye wanker.

[Alexc3217]

Hilarious

[lildude2012]

nice nazi impression

[FatBrokeandStupid]

Sorry buddy...but you look like a scotish windgbag fag....your just not funny lad...Give Billy a call and learn how to be funny....

[MyT01]

i am german and why did you do a irish accent

[JayBrew391]

@MyT01 hahahahahahahaha....dude thats dumb

[dh155]

hahaha. holy shit, that's some real interesting sarcastically interpreted observation. Ya, I got it.

[pentaxsubversion]

lol !!! this video is gold !!! germany sounds like fun

[IExposeMormonism]

Mormonism is far more dangerous than Scientology. I have before me a book "USA In Hell, Uncle Sam's Abcess...." 1884, William Jarman. . He says Germany outlawed Mormonism in c.1883. If true, they need to get busy. And so should every other nation. It is insidious.

[Wildchild777]

wow. this guy really likes the spaghetti monster

[ozeangruen]

That guy is a Pat Condell copy!!

[Sabohaque]

The cake is a pie!