Jimmy Carr talks about wife beating on QI

[Darkens101]

All we can hope is that some potential wifebeater sees this, bottle of stella clutched drunkenly in one hand and says "I never thought of it like this. She does look shit when shes busted up"

Jimmy Carr: social visionary

[gulllars]

Nope, any answer does not condemn you.

"I reject the premise of your question" is a fully valid answer, showing you saw through what the questioner intended and sets up for a riposte.

[razzamattazz]

@gulllars Then this does not answer the question, does it? Refusing to answer a question is not an answer.

[gulllars]

@razzamattazz no, you do not refuse to answer, you disagree with the information given implicitly as a prerequisite for the question, and that is the answer. It in return implies you think the asker of the question did not think it through, is misinformed, or is trying to misinform others. Summed up in colloquial terms as "I think that question is either misinformed or dishonest, as it's not based on truth". Leaving the questioner to deffend themselves, or open to ripposte.

[Jaeharem]

So what was the real answer? Can someone tell me what episode this was in so I can find out?

[nilooebadi]

@Jaeharem seoson 5 episode 8

[Jaeharem]

@nilooebadi Thanks, much appreciated.

[gulllars]

When asked "Have you stopped beating your wife?" the correct answer is "I reject the premise of your question". :)

I enjoyed the joke on it being the same as keying your own car :P

[Jcolinsol]

Woah, way to objectify women there Jimmy.

[UnholyMeatpuppet]

Add a sneaky sixth and seventh seat with Sean Lock and Bill Bailey in it and just keep these guys on every episode. With Ross Noble popping in every now and then.

[SchwarzundWeis]

what episode is this???

[ElizaAcheron]

"Society just got a tiny bit worse."

XD

[Mohrkai]

Rough music only encourages you to let out your inner-rage. I listen to the hardest most violent fuckin' hardcore and it makes me want to punch the wall with extreme force.

But there are ways to control it as hardcore is so complex that you can listen deeper in to it.

[boblionia]

Does anyone know which episode this is?

[trje246]

Carr's timing is grand

[minglis88]

why are they laughing....it's totally true!

[KellixD]

A chubby Stephen Fry talking to a chubby Jimmy Carr and a chubby David Mitchell.

[DanielTominiko]

a woman and a car is much alike, they both are loveable, they both have curves where they need em, the both give you thrills but only one of em has retail value

[Paranitis]

@DanielTominiko I guess that all depends on whether or not prostitution is legal in your neck of the woods.

And on top of that, both can be stolen for a joy ride then followed up with trip to jail. One for grand theft auto, and the other for rape.

[rosewell1983]

did jimmy say "...ist like keeying your own car?"

[PointlessSteel]

@rosewell1983 "keying". Cutting in to it with the sharp parts of a key.

[GlamourKillsTian]

this is a great combination of guests! my favourite people.. maybe replace whoever beside alan with jeremy clarkson, then i'd be the happiest girl alive

[FaceTheQwazaar]

@GlamourKillsTian

why would you replace the best person in the world with the loudest?

[GlamourKillsTian]

@FaceTheQwazaar Dawhhhh how do you not love clarkson? hes hilarious! maybe not as funny as Alan, but noone can be as funny as Alan

[can0mark]

@GlamourKillsTian

Clarkson is pretty funny. Jupitus is funny as hell though.

[Karius7]

@FaceTheQwazaar She just stated she'd switch anyone but Alan. (meaning not Alan)

If anyone, I think I'd only prefer to switch Phil with Jeremy...

Simply because I feel Clarkson has been really rather good in his QI appearances.

[raventheblade]

@FaceTheQwazaar Second loudest, surely. There is still BRIAN BLESSED. He is so loud, spell check auto capitalizes his name.

[Maddolis]

@raventheblade Bullshit, I can type BRIAN BLESSED without it being capitalized.

[salaciousone]

@Maddolis haha your computer must be fucked cos it cant spell lower case BRIAN BLESSED.

erm

[Maddolis]

@raventheblade Oh...

[hathi444]

@FaceTheQwazaar And most obnoxious...

[Theghostat3]

@FaceTheQwazaar while i like clarkson there is no way you could replace jupitus with him

[Lesserthannone]

@FaceTheQwazaar Jerrmy Clackson < Phil Jupitus

[Oakbard]

@GlamourKillsTian It is a good combination. The guy next to Alan is Phil Jupitus. I don't like Clarkson though. Sean Locke is my favourite.

[Ravage017]

@GlamourKillsTian WHAAAA--? The guy next to Alan is a beast!

[elgostine]

@GlamourKillsTian replace phil jupitus, with clarkson?

[GlamourKillsTian]

@elgostine why does everyone hate my idea lol... how is clarkson not hilarious? hes so glum and pissed off its so funny! and TOP GEAR...

[Jason011987]

@GlamourKillsTian Here's why and how: /watch?v=w0i0RXMvzMs&feature=f­eedlik

[Mohrkai]

@GlamourKillsTian

Clarkson is not pissed off, he just has a very sardonic sense of humor.

[NicosMind]

@GlamourKillsTian I like Phil but must admit that every time Clarkson has been on the show hes been very good

[mauricemoss89]

jimmy's comment is really funny but at the same time it makes alot of sense.

[gardinustaung]

This is really fun to watch at 1.5x speed

[bossmonkeykj]

10 people don't stop beating their wives when the music starts

[dragonforce525]

@bossmonkeykj I disliked the video just to ruin your comment.

I AM DRAGONFORCE! RUINER OF COMMENTS!

[LeoGJardim]

Season? Episode?

[MonsterMash1o1]

I would be more worried if my wife stopped beating me ;)

[ypperlig89]

Hate the laugh track.

[tml4873]

@ypperlig89 It's not a "laugh track", there's an actual audience there.

[ypperlig89]

@tml4873 I admit my comment was unclear. What I do not like is how they edit the laughter. They add extra laugh, amplifies the laughter of the audience and so on so much it sounds plastic. The same goes for Jimmy Carrs new DVD - the audience sounded so plastic and unrealistic. Just background noise manipulated with a computer.

[tml4873]

@ypperlig89 If it's modified, I agree, it's stupid. I wasn't paying close attention to the detail of the laughter.

[AlioH89]

@ypperlig89 Do you actually know this or are you speculating? I think the laughter sounds realistic. 

[ypperlig89]

@AlioH89 I have not been a part of this production so I do not know this for a fact. But I have experience with editing "live TV" shows and there are more tricks than the normal viewer is aware of. And I can tell when the sound is more fake than natural, which it is in this video clip.

[TheYoo2b]

@AlioH89 actually i've been in the BBC studios. the people who work there have admitted they often don't like the way one laugh sounds, so they edit it out and put another laugh (often from a previous joke in the same episode) in it's place.

[Smithpolly]

@TheYoo2b Oh, that's depressing. You can't sink much lower than your laugh not making not making the cut.

[Jameswaterslive]

so, keying carr's is still in..?

[GDHGDYFJH]

hahaha I love Europeans :)

[90ShaneE]

@GDHGDYFJH They British, not European

[GDHGDYFJH]

@90ShaneE Where's Great Britain?.... In EUROPE!

[90ShaneE]

@GDHGDYFJH Well done but we like to think we're not European because they're strange lol.

[AlioH89]

@GDHGDYFJH yes it is in Europe geographically but all countries in Europe have their own identities when it comes to culture, entertainment, humour etc. so referring to Europeans here doesn't really make sense.

[GDHGDYFJH]

@AlioH89 Yeahhhh that's true. We don't call people from Mexico Americans, even though they live in North America lol

[ArseneIncubus5]

what episode is this

[aarrum]

When Stephen Fry facepalms, you've done good sir.

[MentalSentinel]

@aarrum superman does good. you've done well.

[HumaneAnon]

Very dry ideaalistic point by carr

[newda898]

David Mitchell looks really fat in this.

[A1D4N1000]

Jimmy is just too funny,, I can never see them comming from him :D

[123jsbach]

Is Jimmy Carr naturally funny or is he actually a swine? He seems too fluent in bastardyness for it to be an act.........

[roblesterfilms]

lol

[knurtel]

"Stopping X" the same as "doing X in the past AND not doing it afterwards". So when you "dont stop X" you "didn't do X in the past OR are still doing it". So actually saying "I didn't stop beating my wife." doesn't strictly imply that you have ever beaten her.

It's not a problem about language but a problem about people not understanding language.

Thats my take on the problem.

[oatmealfanatic1]

@knurtel yes, yes, indeed old chap.

[lmnade199]

Funnyjunk anyone 

[McD419]

WHAT SHOW IS THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pdlbean]

@McD419 QI! Every episode is on youtube if you look hard enough. :) awesome show. you should definitely check it out.

[superhamzah85]

Yeah don't key your car, just get inside twice a day and drive it wildly.

Same goes for wife.

[crapatev]

The woman picture ... be that Hazel Court?

[Allucard090]

It's an informal logical fallacy that involves asking two questions at once. You often see this demonstrated in politics. Really, what should be asked is "Do you beat your wife?" and "Do you think rough music would make you stop?"

[saucy05]

was it hip to be fat back in the days?

[MisterBreezer]

@saucy05 What is it exactly you are asking? 'Cause it just kinda makes you look like a fuckwit.

[saucy05]

@MisterBreezer did i hit a nerve, i mean blubber? google "rhetorical question".

[KazeGaara89]

Stephen Fry's facepalm made this so much better as well. :D Love them both.

[SMDeathwind]

There's no answer to "Have you stopped beating your wife" that won't condemn you?

I'm pretty sure "I never started beating my wife" is safe, actually. =\

[0ccamsRaz0r]

@SMDeathwind yes I agree that is the correct answer, but they mean actually answering the question condemns you either way not stepping back and attacking the validity of the question.

[Verrsus]

Jimmy's a real feminist.

[eldudio]

YouTube gets slightly annoying when on every video people feel the need to write out the complete 'script' of what's said in the video so that there is no point in watching it.

It's like someone shouting out the punchline before someone finishes telling a joke. What's also made worse is when it's thumbed up to be on the top comments.

You may say "Don't read the comments then" but it's hard not to glance at a one line punchline in your peripheral vision..

Grumble Grumble!

[arnold08]

@eldudio Indeed, but it's also difficult to try and share that we really enjoyed a specific part or punch line without typing it out, and getting people to 'agree' by thumbing up.

[Muldoonz]

@eldudio stop whining because somebody spoiled the precious punchline for you

[eldudio]

@Muldoonz Ooh you loved writing that didn't you.. The irony is that you're whining about me complaining.. not to mention the fact that people have given me the most thumbs up, suggesting that I'm not the only one who thinks this. Go back to your grumpy trolling minority.

[Makkasu0]

@eldudio hear, hear! Even on videos with no real punchlines (i.e. yogscast stuff), the funny bits are always ruined in the top comments...

[aarrum]

@eldudio I'm very happy then, that your comment is so large. Deterring me from reading below you should anyone accidentally get a good punch line up in the comments. Good on ya.

[georgercop]

@eldudio yeah, you just think "OMG thank fuck for your comment. for a moment there I'd forgotten how listening worked!" ><

[Smithpolly]

@eldudio It's not hard Just, use your scroll bar. But people who put the punchline the title of the video ...... there's no avoiding that.

Grumble, Grumble!

[kitzlaihel]

Thank you for making your comment long enough.

[asdfhuliashduflasihf]

@eldudio

But sometimes you can't make out the punchline haha. Well, at least that's a problem I sometimes have.

[leavetheherbitalone]

@eldudio Bruce Willis was actually a ghost in The Sixth Sense. When the Titanic sinks Leonardo DiCaprio dies.  And in The Crying Game the chick is a dude.

[colmonhs]

Crap!

How did I get 407 Likes?!

I should start writing for community center stand up comedians!

LOL!

[astroboirap]

they are all sooooooooooo fat

[baadshepherd]

@Niall2A It was about the size of elephants ears being for cooling purposes, not hearing. Basically a lot of blood is able to sit in an area with a massive surface, when they beat their ears they are cooling themselves off. Charlottebraille was entirely right.

[baadshepherd]

And this is why Jimmy Carr is a comedian. Absolutely brilliant. Extremely quick witted, perfect for panel shows. He and David Mitchell should do their own panel show, occasionally featuring Bill Bailey and Rob Bryden.

[kisbie]

@baadshepherd If you ever saw 10 O'Clock Live, you might think twice about that wish.

[spitfirexftw]

haha, what ep/series is this? I'd like to watch the whole thing.

[SonsoftheProphets]

That is what Ive always tried to say but not as well as Jimmy Carr just did!

[nikanj]

Does that imply that Jimmy goes around beating other people's wives? Because that's pretty bad ass.

[charlotteBraillie]

@nikanj

If you want Jimmy Carr to beat your wife, all you have to do is key his car.

[Skeew1]

oh my god jimmy carr. i love stephens face. it looks like he's thinking "good god, why did i let him on this show!"

[712VaL]

What ep is this?? hahahaha

[MissPompousTwat]

@712VaL

Series 5, Episode 8

[charlotteBraillie]

@Niall2A

Probably something about elephants using their ears for fanning themselves.

[Velvetroomdj]

Subject sound much like what Muslims would do!!!

[OghamTheBold]

Are you saying Oxbridge turns our buttered crumpet addicts?

[kevfulchester]

It's unusual that Jimmy brings his A-list of offensive jokes to QI, which is what makes it even funnier... :)

[Xenctuary]

So they don't use the flaps for hearing, really.

[OxygenChrist]

....you can´t stop beating your wife if you never did it in the first place, so aswering "no" to this question will not be bad condemn you.

[Ryoushadow]

@OxygenChrist Yes, because it implies you'd continue beating your wife. The only right answer is "I don't beat my wife."

[OxygenChrist]

@Ryoushadow I disagree. You cannot continue doing something you never did. But we automaticly think that you did if the question is put that way. With all rigt, the language is not perfet. There are a few loops, and while it might imply that you beat her, it does not say straight out that you do.

[MissPompousTwat]

@Ryoushadow

How about "I don't have a wife"?

[Soundfrequency]

Unfortunately my wife is actually very clumsy, and she really DOES fall against the coffee table quite often.

Oh the looks I get in public, honestly. :<

[jennie8908]

Lol not only Jimmy's joke but David reply... epic comedians!

[WailingCoconuts]

Lol at the mindfuck at 0:33

[GalaxyBlasterX]

I choked on my drink from how hard I laughed. Prolly ain't a good thing, looking back, but oh well.

[crackcocaineisgood]

Press 7 fast for Danny Dyer!

[MrHeslopian]

"Though they don't use the flaps for hearing really." If you haven't seen the clip before and don't notice the elephants that could be taken in really the wrong way.

[z3r0t0l3r4ns]

To all of you who don't understand analogies:

At no point did Jimmy Carr suggest that women are objects or property, the analogy he used could only be found offensive by overly sensitive (aren't they all) feminists looking for any excuse to hate men.

[megamarsvin]

@z3r0t0l3r4ns Actually that's exactly what he implied. In fact, that's the joke. Otherwise why is it funny?

[scaryninja1693]

@z3r0t0l3r4ns stttthhh, you can't say they're sensitive! They'll think your stereotyping them!

[onomatopoetically]

@z3r0t0l3r4ns at no point in the comment section did anyone suggest Jimmy Carr was describing women as either objects or property. So who's sensitive? Do you feel hated by womankind? Need a cuddle?

[MrDiddy527]

if a any girl lets her husband or boyfriend hit her nd lets him get away with it, needs a slap! haha

lmao....

[johanisu]

"Though they don't use the flaps for hearing really." I feel like I've come in at the wrong point of a conversation.

[JonnoGradian]

Only the picture on the back wall prevents the first line from sounding REALLY pervy in context D=

[morganandwong]

This is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. How does he come up with this stuff?

[NonExistentCodes]

@Greenless001 And the original comment is gone, and we're left with this, and that's great.

[nils119]

"society just got a tiny bit worse"

"i like to think i can help"

does that mean he thinks making society worse is good, or does it mean he actually thinks seeing your wife as an object is good? i know its just joking but i dont get it please explain shortly!

[metallicafannick]

@nils119 really easy...sarcasm

[nils119]

@metallicafannick thanks!

[nils119]

"society just got a tiny bit worse"

"i like to think i can help"

does that mean he thinks making society worse is good, or does it mean he actually thinks seeing your wife as an object is good? i know its just joking but i dont get it

[karmaofgood]

@nils119 Looking at it too hard. You're looking at the exact words being said and not what is meant to be exclaimed by the sentence. I would explain it to you but it's pointless. Because the way he said it is more of an explanation than anything I could type.

[nils119]

@karmaofgood thanks man, but metallicafannick allready made it clear to me: it's sarcasm. totally makes sense, assuming that "i like to think i can help" is a commonly used phrase (which i didnt know before)

[karmaofgood]

@nils119 That is a better way of explaining it, not really good at explaning things myself.

[TigsAndKizzii]

I would very much love to know which episode this is (and perhaps a link to the full episode?)

[Baldrian90]

@TigsAndKizzii Season 5 (E) episode 8, called Eyes & Ears. I dont think it is on youtube, so you have to watch it someplace else.

[daemon0A]

@Baldrian90 its on youtube. go search for an account named "quite1nteresting" or "yougluben"

[birh]

If you didn't like her before, you aren't gonna like her with bruises.

[BowmanHath31]

jimmy carr & david mitchell on the same team??

i need to find this episode

[carkeyking13]

@BowmanHath31

Its an individual panel show you twonk. No teams.

[tomipuff]

Jimmy Carr is so amazingly super duper fantastic. 

[chrisash247]

What a quote

[ituyok]

If I didn't know what came before the first line about the flaps, it could be about something rather dodgy...

[Demonofthenorth]

@ituyok it was about why elephants have large ear flaps. the answer was they use them to cool rather than hear

[colmonhs]

JIMMY...

the new spokeperson for social services !

"Would you key your own car?

Don't beat your own wife."

[Dungarth]

lol yes, Stephen Fry, Jimmy Carr and David Mitchell have all lost so much weight since this aired!!

All ex Cambridge graduates too.

[BilliKhanum]

@Dungarth I wanna know HOW

[AdamMorrow10]

@Dungarth So, if you're not a Cambridge grad, you're to stupid to lose weight?

[anonymousLeroy]

@AdamMorrow10 And that's how stupid fights start. Not that I dislike fights, but still...

[IncognitoShhh]

@Dungarth - good thing too. fatty boom bars !

[SquareRo0o0t]

@Dungarth

Phil jupitus ate them.

[KurtCobainof21]

@Dungarth i think theyre still cambridge graduates.

[z3r0t0l3r4ns]

@Dungarth

EX Cambridge graduates? Did they have their degrees revoked or are you just too dim to realize that they still are Cambridge graduates?

[Flowerblood]

@Dungarth They're just Cambridge graduates, the ex bit doesn't make sense really.

[deandave24]

@Dungarth and poor Phil Jupitus is still chubby.

[proprodigySD]

@Dungarth Not Phil Jupitus though, lol.

[jimmyhayers]

@Dungarth How can you be an ex Cambridge graduate? They have still graduated from Cambridge, they are all Cambridge graduates.

[heathclifffe]

everyone's really chubby in this club! Carr, Fry, Mitchell...