Why Are Men So Afraid of I LOVE YOU?

[fileboy2002]

Men don't want to say "I love you" because they don't want to limit their sexual options. When a man tells a woman he loves her, he implicitly commits to her, which means sexual exclusivity. Many men, espeically younger men brought up in the so-called "hook up culture" think they can go on having lots of no-strings sex with lots of different women their entire lives. That's utterly delusional, but they often think that.

[kannoos75]

i think its because a guy's life is all about freedom ... and he is afraid to bring someone into his life or making a commitment..

[devilshomie]

Men aren't the only ones afraid of saying I love you, those are three big words you know

[lamentate07]

The problem with these debates is that they only tend to focus on men's relation to other men and avoid the question of how women feel about men that are open about their feelings. To me this is complete bullshit. Men do not negotiate their masculinity in a vacuum with each other. It's assumed, quite wrongly, that men are not open to women about their feelings because of some code of masculinity. It's because both men AND women are socially conditioned to understand things in this way.

[nativemrv19722]

Men have to be strong. I love you sounds weak. And lot of times women will find a way to get rid of you. Once they find out you  like them. But they fall in love with men that don't love are care about them all the time.

[Agent1W]

Grown men do cry. Not in like manner as a little child, but over very significant things in life. I think the idea is stoicism. If feelings won't get in the way, that's fine. But that's not going to take feelings away altogether.

[jissandra]

wow, this really helped, i have a guy that really likes me, as so her says, but i love him. but he doesnt say "i love you" becuz he doesnt want to get hurt in return.

[bgiv2010]

that guys speaks the truth!! we don't just fall in love. for us, sex and love are different and we can easily have sex with someone consistently we don't necessarily love. when it comes to real love, we really have to think about it...for years! (笑)

[nativemrv19722]

@bgiv2010 True. Women fall in  love most of the time with guys they have sex with. Most of the time the guy doesn't really care about them.

[datlancboi018]

I dont like to to hear those words depending on the timing. When a girl tells you she loves eventually those words come with expectations and she starts to change and want to do things or asks you to do things you dont really wanna do because you dont feel the same way she does. But if I love her then those words arent a problem for me.

[EritranPrincess]

im women and i m not in touch with my feelings that much, sometimes i find it hard to say I LOVE YOU, or I love you to! not sure why

[yubarraboo]

That's a loaded question.

[Arthur900]

what is love? baby dont hurt me dont hurt me no more lol :P

[TareqTwinTurbo]

i don't think thats true

i never said i love you to any girl until i met my GF

i loved her from the first moment i saw her and i said " i love you" to her after 2 months from the day i met her

Love is something magical that can change people

and now she is my feiance and i wanna marry her soon ^_^

[MacDad1992]

@TareqTwinTurbo thats sweet bruv. It is true though. I never really had a girlfriend till I was sixteen and before that i thought that it wouldnt have to be so hard, maybe were blowing it out of proportions. It IS SOO hard. even when talking online, i cant bring my self to even type it. I end up typing . lv u 2. "lv" not "love" but "lv"

[ayotechie]

haha thats funny , i neva said that to any girl before then i met my girlfriend n felt smth i never i felt in years , most ppl see me as an asshole when it comes to girls but when i met my gf she changed my thoughts about rlationships and i SAy that i love her all the time i dont give a shit and she says it back too even tho that smtimes she calls me a douche bag lol

[DEATHMAJOR]

What are you talking about i always say i love you... to my mom.

[RasberryCake]

They mean other women....

[silverwolfxp27]

I just fear love lmao... =D

[TheCharleycat]

bullshit. if your in love you would show it no matter u r a male or female. love sees no barriers.

[MrGrandDragon]

Its not about honesty or commitment, its about the nature of men and their testosterone.

Men and Women work and think differently. Females are more in touch with their sensitivities which is why they cry often.... in general

The question itself suggests that females are more persuaded and sensitive. They can be vulnerable

[MrArafat2009]

Its hillarious to hear this sh!t...if woman were more attractive enough guys come running and the choosing is theirs....but most most woman look like crap and need all this therapy and tricks to get over the obvious rejections they're getting.

I dated a lot of top models and it si such a releave, they are not only a LOT more fun in bed but when their nonsense gets to you at least you can have conversation ith their tight package..

[Darkstorms15]

well some of us are sensative men.

[qwexas]

Making sure it's true. Thinking before speaking. Someone who says it too soon either loves easily or isn't sincere. First he has to tell himself, if he's honest, and won't let it leave his mouth unless he believes himself. Hesitating because "I love you" has meaning, not just 3 syllables.

[fuzzyone99]

Yes. The best way to rid the gene pool of airhead women who fall for assholes is to stop giving them attention and REWARD THE ONES WHO ARE ACTUALLY NICE AND ARE HAPPIER WITH NICE GUYS!!!

Once enough of their genes have made it through then we can start breeding women on the basis of more physically attractive traits.

And in the meantime make sure you do all you can to make life for asshole men a living hell. (Which ironically attracts the airhead women anyway).

[MrGrandDragon]

So now "ass holes" are men who are strong and dominant? Is that a bad thing if they are like that and most females actually require that?

No relationship can run 50/50...either the Male is susceptible and insecure or Females are obedient...females who truly love show more obedience and commitment.

There is reason why males pick on other males who are perceived as "abnormal" for being feminine.

[holypanl]

Why can't I say it? I have issues with my father, any myself, and I'm afraid I'll hurt you. What if I'm not what you expected me to be? I hate the fact that I can't confidently trust myself and truly love you, but it's harder than just saying it.

It's all about what you think of me. I'd hate it if I commit, and then I find out you thought I was weak, and I'm not man enough. I wish you could understand me.

Approx >50% of non-committers exactly fit this, or are able ot loosely identify with it.

[LukeTheFlook]

cause the DONT love you dumbass.

[backspace125673]

i know i dont say i love you to a girl unless i actually mean it. if she hears that come out of my mouth, she should know that i really mean it.

[Hyperlot]

The reality: Women say they want a sensitive guy who is open with his feelings - Yet in highschool, women date the men who show no feelings, stuff the guys who DO show their feelings into trashcans and lockers, and treat them like garbage. When we, the "nice guys" are getting shoved around and watching all the women get taken by the "assholes", naturally we may adjust ourselves. Sure, doesn't always make us into assholes, but it sure doesn't want to make us act "Sensitive" around women.

[iDawgChannel]

i know exactly what you mean. and it is all true.

[ladyinfantmackie]

they are not really together the dudes gay

[seanrimada]

I´m a men and i can say i love you but only when i mean it; it doesn´t mater if I say it to a friend, family, of a girl. But if you are oing to say something say it because you feel it, not because the other person expects you to feel it. Be honest in your relations.

[AsianDriftersTeam]

guys are scarred to say it because they dont know what the answer might be so they are wondering should they? but if they wont the girl might go find another guy to hit on so the guy has no choice but to say it and yet they are still scarred because of her answer to him. i'm a guy and its hard most of the time saying it so we can either tell her or forget it. if we know she likes him then why not say i love you?

[jaymac6666]

some of us have been in a long meaningful realitionship for a long time and loved that girl but she dumped you and you dont really know why so it is hard to say it the next time cause you feel u may be dumpped again

[snyder325tiger]

Guys just feel the need to be "hard" as in not care and have no feelings, or to not show them. Guys you are not "gay" to tell your girfriend "I love you" in a huge group of friends. If you can't tell them that in front of the whole world you don't truly love them. Thats the way it is.

[thphaca]

Sort of. But we probably feel that way because we get rejected when we do otherwise!! Just as guys don't want a woman acting masculine, we feel that women don't want us acting feminine. I notice that the 'asshole' gets more positive attention than the 'nice guy', as paradoxical as it may sound. Women say they want one thing, yet we get more success when we DON'T give them that. I'm not trying to degrade women, but that's just how life goes.

[Murphator]

Dude, YES!!! WHY!!!!??? lol

plus guys fall in "love" a lot more. A guy is much more likely than a girl to find attraction based on looks than girls. and because guys have eyes and can look around we "fall in love" a lot easier without the whole talking and relationship thing

[snyder325tiger]

Some men also think it's not manlike to cry, that is a very wrong statement. If you don't cry you have your feelings all bottled up inside. Most women do not like that.

I will tell you right now that I cry, it's not wrong in any way. My fiance loves the fact that I cry.

[Murphator]

is she hot? no-no wait im sorry, Do YOU think she's hot?

[Skidmarques1]

LOL YES

[snyder325tiger]

I have always said "I love you" but there is a difference in just loving someone or being "in love" with someone.

My beautiful fiance as of valentines day is the only one I have ever said "I am in love with you"

[jsg103]

I'm 21, and "i love you" represents the stage in a relationship in which the woman generally turns in an insane, jealous, maniac. It makes me feel trapped and generally break up with them at that point. The relationship is officially dead in the water.lol

[ruifiewrfhrwiuhfiu]

ok am 14 love yeh ok most will say u dont no what love is maby not but any way ..

sayn i love u is a big deal its a pashent word wich u want to have pashen in the meanin wen u say it iv sead it to what i think is love maby am wrong and some one called me a fem guy and that i and i gave them a smack and relly i showed them its not gay to show u have feelins no gay but fem if u get me

[OshinigamiX]

there is absolutley nothing wrong with saying i love u! everytime i am with my gf, i tell her i love her

[real1abcda]

its simply cuz they know that stupid outgoing women want men that dont love them ...dont worry just wait until that bitch hits 26

[bradleybravo]

commitment lol thats not me at all im unlike any guy im not afriad of my feelings an tell her i love you an i mean it an i dont get scared when she tells me i love you it is not hard for me soo im a strong guy who is ok with his feelings it doesnt bother me i dont see why it does others guys

[OdyseausXIX]

Real men say I love you. I'm sorry, but all great men say it so ... there's really no reason for you to cower in fear from it. You just have to know when to use it. Don't use it in the first week of your first relationship. That only spells trouble. Use it when you mean it when the timing is right. If you really love someone, then you should admit that love. Love can turn your life around or flip you upside down. Regardless, love is a friend, and no man with muscle is immune.

[mastera1993]

I'm 15 and i love saying i love you ... But if I only had that special someone to tell it to :(

[TiptheJester]

Oh you love saying "I love you". I can tell that the word 'love' probably doesn't mean a whole lot to you. You're 15. I don't blame you.

If you really want to learn how to love, learn to understand your parents' love, and love them first. After all, if you can't love someone who took care of you this 15 years, how can you love someone you just met?

[OnlineSkill]

I'm 14

and my parents are dead. so obviously they didnt look after me for 14 years.

[Richy0326]

Guys loose interest in a woman after they've had sex with her, so my advice, bang one out over a photo of her, and ask yourself if you sill care enough about her to take a bullet for her?

[DJXanosphere]

damn good advice

[Cinemaniac7]

I think the fact that men are afraid to say "I love you" is a large misconception (or at least I hope so). I actually told my girlfriend I loved her before she told me

[hackertc]

i have noticed that if you tell to a girl i love you he will not behave nice afterwords

I won't say this even if you shoot me! I prefer to see if she deserver's it and then not say it, but demonstrate it! (sorry for my lang)

RO: pai daca ai zici lu una "Te Iubesc" isi ia femeia lumea in cap, cel putin la mine in giulesti asha e :( nu mai spun cuvantul asta nici sa ma impusti....

[resilientkid]

Are you fucking kidding me? Maybe it's because if we say it, IT'S THE WOMAN who usually gets scared and runs off?

Oh, but she must have a reason for being scared, maybe all we want is SEX, blah blah...

Why do people keep assuming men are pigs?

[blesserdee]

yh that happened to me. i told the girl i loved her and everything changed. first she was like aww but then she tried to take control of the relationship. then i wasnt seen in a manly way anymore

[thphaca]

My fucking god.. You stole the words from my mouth. That shit happened to me 3x in a row and no way in hell am I letting it happen again. I had nothing against expressing the emotional side and I always wondered why no other guys did that, so I did. Now I realize that women must be treated like dirt bags in order to progress with them. The way I see it, cooperating with a woman is a trap. They see it as weakness and instantly reject you. Fuck sentimentality, even if you mean it, it NEVER works.

[scolton4life]

im not afrain to tell a girl i love her...

[ynot277]

Well i use it spareingly so when I do say it I really mean it..

[chalespi]

im not afraid of i love you and im only 14..... i only fall in love once and the girl is a fuking whore!

[hackertc]

i dont think its love at 14.... whores are indeed... :(

[Richy0326]

I've been there, and all i'll say is make the most of it while it lasts.

[wadduppunk]

how immature are these clowns and who the hell is that guy dressed as a priest he could be anyone of the street

[dorifto]

so is it always the guy that's suppose to say it first or can women say it to a man than the man replies the same way?

[hackertc]

you have to say "I Love you to" after you get married :))

[misscmfxox]

Okay.. so what if I KNOW he loves me... but he even TOLD me he cant tell me "i love you"

[unholyblackheart]

if u doesnt have the guts to say it grow some balls geez

[NabilRU]

Pretty simple

[DanAndJenn]

Hi Chris, thanks so much for your note, that really means a lot to us. Have a great weekend! -- D&J

[tubehax]

i would only be afraid of saying it to a lousy/unstable person outside that i am perfectly capable

[GeneNowok]

Men r not afraid of "I love u" but men want sex first of all not love. Remember: men PRETEND they want love because they really want sex. Women PRETEND they want sex because they really want love. My warning here: tell a girl u love her and ull 4ever be only her friend.

[Cedde82]

you mean that when a girl says that she loves a man, the man got to pretend and play with her feelings in order to have sex. You mean faking the relationship and dump her later on with a silly reason.

I think there is nothing illegal about that.

They play with us, we strike back :)

we men invented about everything and earn more than women in almost every country in the world, besides that we are physically stronger.

[wab1212]

well almost all men are like that mine anit he has never asked me for sex he more asks for what places that i want to go to

[IAmTheWarbringer]

dude that's only because we were phisicly stronger so we could beat and rape them if they didnt comply. we didnt let THEM reserch anything or we'd beat them, so WE made all the discoverys, and sexist dooshes like you invented... oh thats right NOTHING!

[Blackrose4789]

Wow...OK you are a cock dude. A huge sexist cock. Your just a sad little player with a small dick who thinks he's got game. ANYONE who only plays a person for sex is a douche. Fucking with someone's feelings like that is really messed up. You give your whole gender a bad name

[Cedde82]

it's all about the testestorene. You can find her attractive without being in love with her. I had many girls who were shy from sucking cock and once I went to the red light district here in Brussels. 

I found out that it is done much better and you get a better feeling from it because it is done professionally. You also pay for it. A girl that is fat and not beautiful will receive less attention from guys that's still the reality. Women only want relationship for their future children

[lavinder11]

Yep. If a boy is determined to get what he wants (not a woman, just her sex) then he'll say whatever it takes to get it. That's not true for men though - just little boys.

[tlndofa]

dat waz cul.i gather a man is there for weak if he cant express..jenns so cute.

[TemperaMagenta]

In Norway, "jeg elsker deg" (I love you) is usually never said, as far as I know. It's too difficult to make those words sound natural. Usually we say "jeg er glad i deg". I guess "I love you" is difficult to say no matter who you are or where you are.

[Choukaier69]

a better title is "why are most men so afraid of I LOVE YOU" I'm not afraid of I LOVE YOU!

[unwantedcorpse633]

This is sooo true, I never got to tell him that I loved him...

[laracroftroxmysox]

My boyfriend told me he loved me before I told him I loved him. I was afraid because I'd been in a bad relationship before, but I believed him and once he said it, I could say it too.

[jeanintro]

The "I love you" is not just connected with commitment or fear of it, it is as well about inner confidence and self-esteem. Some men think they can't love because they basically don't love themselves!

It is really important to love yourself before even thinking on loving someone else. If you don't care or love yourself, will be very hard to say those words because you won't mean it!

Advice: If you really want to be with that someone but you can't say I love you, do some research within urself.

[frycook813]

Shut up

[kaisergrendel]

I tend to disagree with this misconception. I've had low self esteem for most of my life but have no problem being sure about who in my life I truly love and admire, even for the qualities that I hate myself for not having.

[jeanintro]

Well the key word in my comment was "Some men" :)

I know some people have a good self esteem and high confidence and they still find it hard to express their feelings. It all comes down to your personality, the level of affection you have for the other person and the household you lived in and the life experiences you have had.

[kaisergrendel]

Thanks for your reply.

"It is really important to love yourself before even thinking on loving someone else. If you don't care or love yourself, will be very hard to say those words because you won't mean it!"

That's what I was responding to, as it apparently sounds like a general statement, not just regarding "some men."

[planefreak3]

the same with me, and i am only 13. but hatng yourself is something else, more like abusing yourself

[fuckserbrussians1]

be realistic it has nothing to do with afraid, its just that we don't love the women we just use them for sex

[RickyTomatoes]

Agreed.

[frycook813]

so true

[liber8me]

or maybe the guy just doesnt know yet whether he loves her yet

[mrdarkknight]

i was afraid to say it cuz i knew if i did, there's no going back to "just friends" if she didnt say she loves me back..whatever, you get the point.

oh and btw, i say "i love you everyday" to everyone, i just dont mean it. its hard only when i actually mean it.

[LordReserei]

I'm not afraid to say those words at all to my love, I tell her all the time and make sure that if any of us go anywhere we're not together that the last words she hears me say is "I love you Bambi", that's the name I give her. =)

I even say it when we're talking on the phone whether I'm with my friends, at work or on the bus. If you really love some one, no matter what sex you are, you should never be afraid to tell them how much you love and care for them. =)

[Playgirl2day]

the men lve met had no problem saying those dreadful words l just dont like hearing it,

[doug47130]

If you don't really mean it,it's very easy to say.

[griebel11]

first again fucking fags