I didn't think the actors were that bad. Seems the material was some kind of Benny Hill Brit comedy going on within the short film being made by the crew and writer imagining it.
In any case, yeah I can see the laugh track being removed. It felt like you were trying to go with that Benny Hill zaniness by using the laugh track.
Hate to be harsh, but the laugh track didn't make any sense, and the bad closing matched the bad opening. Overall, the acting and the idea seemed very forced.
@theylos Thanks for your kind response to my comment. To answer your question (in greater depth), I didn't understand the point of the entire presentation. The title has me looking for commentary on aristocracy, but it seems to be about something else... Commentary about worlds within worlds? If that is your point, then drive it home with something, a surprise for the viewer or even a moment of realization for all the characters or a key character. A "gotcha" or "whoa" moment.
@theylos I may have missed the point entirely, but the laugh track completely threw me off. I can understand the viewpoints of the characters who are being portrayed by the actors who are being directed by the film crew who is controlled by the writer, but the laugh track was lost on me since the scene did not seem that funny. Maybe make each world convincing?
In short: no laugh track, connect the worlds through some common medium and add a plot recognizable to the viewer. Hope that helps.
I didn't think the actors were that bad. Seems the material was some kind of Benny Hill Brit comedy going on within the short film being made by the crew and writer imagining it.
In any case, yeah I can see the laugh track being removed. It felt like you were trying to go with that Benny Hill zaniness by using the laugh track.
edmoy1972 1 year ago
Hate to be harsh, but the laugh track didn't make any sense, and the bad closing matched the bad opening. Overall, the acting and the idea seemed very forced.
ijzerkoekie 1 year ago
@ijzerkoekie no thank you for being harsh. I really appreciate the feedback. Do you have suggestions as to how you would improve it?
theylos 1 year ago
@theylos Thanks for your kind response to my comment. To answer your question (in greater depth), I didn't understand the point of the entire presentation. The title has me looking for commentary on aristocracy, but it seems to be about something else... Commentary about worlds within worlds? If that is your point, then drive it home with something, a surprise for the viewer or even a moment of realization for all the characters or a key character. A "gotcha" or "whoa" moment.
ijzerkoekie 1 year ago
@theylos I may have missed the point entirely, but the laugh track completely threw me off. I can understand the viewpoints of the characters who are being portrayed by the actors who are being directed by the film crew who is controlled by the writer, but the laugh track was lost on me since the scene did not seem that funny. Maybe make each world convincing?
In short: no laugh track, connect the worlds through some common medium and add a plot recognizable to the viewer. Hope that helps.
ijzerkoekie 1 year ago