The Onion: Yankees Building Vacation Stadium In The Hamptons

[beloon1970]

This is believably real news if the onion wasn't satire.

[semoran]

lmaooo...great job guys

[halorox2468]

I want that stadium

[TheMegaboom5]

LOL $900 Billion stadium

[Qegixar]

"Men are now desensitized to all but testicle-related violence," I'm pretty sure this is actually true.

[bensmith3200]

Rich people make me sick.

[sk81382]

@bensmith3200 you're fucking stupid this is a joke

[cobalt100]

Little girls play with their Barbie dolls and stuffed animals. Grown-up guys pant over the millionaire baseball players and collect baseball souvenirs. Both are infantile pursuits.

[u0455294]

If the Yankees really did build a vacation stadium they'd probably have waiters following them around the bases with martinis. Sadly, those pampered snobs would still beat my Redsox. :'(

[king10102]

@u0455294 youre clearly not a real red sox fan

[RoyalRamirez]

@u0455294 That's that great New York Sarcasm :D

[11215142615]

LOL!!!!! I bet the Onion must do A LOT of takes before they get these skits right, haha!

[daturamodena123]

i feel sad for the people commenting this, you guys are retarded if you believe this, im starting to have little faith in the US population...its called satire you dumb fucks

[cosmo4596]

omg the titles of these videos are way funnier than the videos:

"First Openly Gay Racehorse to Compete Sunday"

"Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jaguars Realize Randomness of Life"

"Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful to Monkeys"

"Supreme Court: Death Penalty is 'Totally Badass'"

Haha omg I love the Onion

[lordkomodo123]

Hahha tht one guy can barely keep himself from laughing

[alwaysgrindin1]

mad funny just in case arod needs anything from the team

[andzanny]

Lets Go Yankees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!

[CFlatla]

Men really are desensitized to everything but testicle related violence lol

[kinduvabigdeal]

"men are now desensitized to all but testicle related violence" LOL after watching Casino Royale and only flinching at the part where Bond gets his nuts beat, I can argue with this.

[14111taft]

Man, who's gonna pay for all this?

[Pittfan2020]

I do enjoy watching these videos, but reading the comments of ppl who think the onion is true, just makes my day :D

[1danyol1]

wow this is so fucking retarded are you serious? the yankees are so rich and stupid it's ridiculous, whoever came up with this idea should be fired and shot

[PANDANAT0R]

@1danyol1 The Onion is fake genius...

[bakerandbaker1]

That wouldn't be a bad idea for a spring training facility actually. I hate the Yankees, but one would have to be crazy not to think this is a beautiful design. Too bad it won't happen.

[ElConquistadorNo1]

They need to hire a new SS; Jeter is washed up

[scarredeagle]

@scubasapper lol its not a real idea, relax, the onion doesnt do real journalism...its comedy

[MultiRockstar34]

the yankees dont need shit

[stoopkid80]

I knew that would say the Brewers... I also live in Wisconsin LOL

[scubasapper]

$900M !! ARE YOU KIDDING!?!?! Hey GM Next time you want white sand base pads, a marina to dock yachts and sliding french doors on the dugout and heated massage chairs... Think of the fallens soldiers families that sacrificed their lives so you can have your "Pasttime" !! I among many others do not appreciate you selfishness!

[RickMerchantttt]

@scubasapper ...ppppfffffHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! lmfao!!

[77PensFan]

@scubasapper Please tell me you cant be serious, right?

[LocoGroove]

@scubasapper ahahaha 

[Quigz789]

@scubasapper  joke

[dalexispe]

@scubasapper dude this is fake man! LMAOOOOO

[Maksymaxi]

Discusting new Macdonald's sandwich not bad :D the shit on the bottom of the screen is friggen hilarious :D

[ElBarto3131]

The Yankees are the reason the MLB needs a salary cap. The NFL, NHL, and NBA all have salary caps, why not the MLB??

[RBZatlas]

I wish this was real.

[RBZatlas]

I don't like the New York Yankees but this is halarious.

[Imdabambam711]

"just in case a-rod needs anything from the team"

[Emoidiot187]

OMG THIS FUCKING HILARIOUS LOL ..fuck the yankers though

[zerbo803]

phillies orioles and brewers make a stadium on the Jersey shore hahaha

[alucard33333]

new study shows men are desensitized to all but testicle related violence. LOL.

[costanza187]

The Onion always gets me in the mood for some Yankee time and clam bakes.

[chromaholic]

"the phillies, orioles, and brewers just announced they're renting a stadium on the jersey short together and they'll take turns playing there this summer..." lmao

[darthspeaks]

They should do an onion news report on how they found the earthly prison of Xenu! LOL

[kevinsterm]

ROFL! :"

porn star overcomes cancer to take multiple cocks once again" HAHAHA you gota read whats going on at the bottem of the screen, those newsflashes are hilarious.

[31hesham]

LOL! I'm an Angels fan, I hope we beat the Yanks friday.

[jc1346729]

howd that work out for u

[j3venmusic]

well we all know that isn't gonna happen... GO YANKS!!!!!

[deoradude]

im still waiting for a spoof of jack thopmson

[bobbyg640]

lol, excellent vid

[SierraM363]

Satire pretty much explains how ridiculously rich the Yankees are. They can literally build an allstar team. CC, Tex, and Burnett on the same year. Thats just unfair.

[jrsunolan]

yeah but burnett sucks

[sideshowmulhern]

the A-Rod part was so funny

[sijja]

Reggie Greengrass lol

[ralphieboogerbottoms]

You people WATCH baseball?

They should move the entire LEAGUE to the Hamptons.

[Atoutlem0nde]

Testicle related violence. Ouch.

[trumpetissocool]

i like 2 play baseball naked it makes me feel less restricted

[Jay8691x]

Talent can't happen without money.

[FTKFTK]

talent can occur, the possessors just have little incentive to exercise their talent without money.

[elliottsmith10]

lmao everyone hates the yankees

[Sarinx7]

just incase A-rod needs anything from the team, LOL

[originaldeadman1190]

I'm a diehard Yankee fan and I think this is hillarious

[bbennoman]

GO BREW CREW!

[nichole325]

a-rod gets his own stadium..ahaha...what recession?

[Conway79]

Maybe it's because I'm not clued up on American sports, but I just don't get the humour in this one.

[superblip]

It's just commenting on how these teams are having way too much money put into building stadiums they don't really need, when it could be used elsewhere

[UndrDogSSBM]

Baseball in the 'States doesn't have a salery cap. Meaning the team is as good as the team's owner can afford to pay players. The Yankees are so rich that they buy the best baseball teams. It's unfair but the Yankees and Boston bring in a lot of money in for the commission so it's going to stay this way.

Anyway, they nod at this by mentioning that the Pirates, Orioles, and the third team I can't recall, are going to team up to buy a much crappier stadium.

So yeah, Yankees = Too Rich.

[Conway79]

Ahh ok. :-)

[jewpessah]

before carl pohlad died in january, he was one of the richest people in the world. forbes estimated him to be at $3.1 billion. he was the owner of the minnesota twins.

[ISUCKATANYOFTHIS]

They arn't any good, you can't buy talent.

[bogwaga107]

Yes actually you can...

[Cloud551]

Even with all that money, they still fail to get very far. And that is why The Yankees are one of the worst teams; they can't even do well with the best players.

[hzthereaper]

you do realize that they have the best record in baseball right?

dont get me wrong, i hate the yankees as much as the next guy.

[Cloud551]

Not anymore, I'm talking about recently.

[hzthereaper]

the yankees have the best record in baseball RIGHT NOW. as in, as we speak.

fucking yankees. >:(

[Cloud551]

Hm... my bad. They must have pulled ahead while I was looking away.

[readthepaper]

Yeah the Yankees are one of the worst teams. Just look at all the other teams who have won more championships like the...uh..um...oh yeah they are the best franchise in all of sports. A team gets money because it wins, it doesn't win because it has money. Anybody with a basic understanding of business can understand that. Stop being jealous because your team sucks.

[ewilkens]

Actually most of their money comes from the deal with the YES network, while other teams/cities (like the Royals for example) aren't able to make that kind of lucrative tc deal. And much of that comes from the size of the New York market, not the wins and losses of the Yankees... maybe you should go get that basic understanding of business

[readthepaper]

Now why would the YES network give them such a lucrative deal....well it just might be because a substantial amount of people enjoy watching the Yankees. People most likely enjoy watching the Yankees because they actually win. The "size" of the market is irrelevant; they still have to meet the demands of consumers. They may have more available consumers if you believe people root for teams geographically, but those people also have more opportunities to spend their money elsewhere.

[Cloud551]

Actually, a lot of people hate watching the Yankees. They're the least-liked team in the MLB; mainly because of the ridiculously high amount of money they give their players (even when said players don't lead them to victory in the World Series), and the fact that they've been at the center of a large portion of the recent steroids scandals.

All I'm saying is, if they have enough money to buy most of the best players in the MLB, they should be winning a lot more than they currently are.

[readthepaper]

Envy is a very apparent emotion.

[scuwat]

theyre #1 in the league right now by 6 games... how much better should they be doing?

[Cloud551]

With their players and money, they should be winning, for the most part, nearly every World Series. And they haven't won in a good bit of time now.

[redrover3456]

who do u cheer on as your favorite team?? the reason y the yankees dont win isnt because of the lack of talent or how much money they got on players its becuz of the chemistry between the players....thats y only this season they started to dominate since the 2001 season

[Cloud551]

I used to cheer on the Yankees a few years ago. Then I took a detailed look at the money they were making, how much their players were being payed, and how many games they were winning... so much for that. So I converted to a Red Sox fan, and a couple years later, in 2004, the biggest embarrassment in Yankees history happened. And I couldn't have been happier.

[redrover3456]

the yankees are not the center of the mlb universe they have the best record in baseball and will be jus short of 100 wins ppl love the yanks

[QuranOrBible]

i dont. love my cards!

[kane148]

go cry in the corner if you can't handle a lil negative criticism

[MrWowwy123]

okay sounds good to me.

[ubbecykelkedja]

"All of sports." Lol, typical baseball fan.

[readthepaper]

@ubbecykelkedja All of sports that anybody has heard of and gives a rat's ass about. Are you happy now?

[markezov]

This is very funny.

[BC4EVER]

this would be so cool

[RuggedObscure]

lmfao I hate when people use divine as an adjective. Its so gay!!

[ManuFactored]

Brilliant!! I am a Yanks fan and still find this very funny. I love the Onion.

[bloopers891]

mets

[nyyankeesfan8]

fake

[tjstheman3]

Thank you! It doesn't surprise me that a yankee fan says this. Of course its fake you dumbass.

[zyloa4ever]

Fuck you! Im a diehard red sox fan but i also like the dodgers and the yanks so stop being a dumbfucker and dont be a dumb douche u dipshit

[tjstheman3]

Well first I will say I don't remember what I said to make you go off on me, but I will say this. You are not a diehard red sox fan no matter what you may believe. A die hard fan of any team cannot possibly like another team. You could say you are a casual red sox fan and a casual dodgers fan and a casual yankees fan. But don't put your self with the diehards such as myself because that is just bullshit.

[zyloa4ever]

i like the dodgers and yankees cuz my dad likes em! I mostly like the sox you muther fucker! If you go into my bedroom my beds made outta baseball bats and i have a sox carpet and the monsters painted on the wall and i have 250 sox jerseys so look whos talking bitch

[tjstheman3]

Ask any real red sox fan if they can consider you a fan, they would say no. It doesn't make sense that you are fan of two teams that absolutley hate each other. You are a disgrace to real redsox fans everywhere. I also don't believe anything you just said.

[elliottsmith10]

if your a die hard red sox fan you wouldnt be a yankee fan.

[lordhashi]

suicide beofre sucession

[danalan666]

thanks for clarifying the obvious

[WolvesAndScrubsxD]

Heck ya! YANKEES SUCK XDDD

[zachyo233]

Lol, in case A-Rod needs anything from the team hahaha

[esiafdg009]

ROTFLOL HAHAHAHA

[frenchfrey65]

ROFL this was fucking awesome!

[Spanky00Cheeks]

testicular violence

[buccos2324]

dont be hating on the pirates :(

[BrianWasHere88]

lol just in case a-rod ever needs anything from the team

[yonner490]

i love the thing about bunting

[TitenSxull]

Testicle Related Violence, lmfao, man I love the Onion

[Angelsbaby42]

haha Steinbrenner looks thrilled ..

[marcuswoo123]

rugby is a man's game

[astroman12349384]

A ROD is making his own stadium lol

[LP1515156]

Satire, its a joke noob.

[IcyNit]

well baseball is a guy's game, but softball is a girl's game but guys can play it too

[GymLeaderLance99]

"Obama backtracks to say hello to two sunbathing babes" lol Ferris Bueller reference.

[bicnarok]

baseball is a girls game anway

[IM1deadMONEY]

If baseball is a girls game - and playing a girls game means that you get millions of dollars, and have the most beautiful women in the world at your disposal ..... then buy me some tampons and get me tickets to the Oprah Show because I want to be a MLB player!

[WoWProductionsWOW]

What would be a mans game then?

[pacosaidso]

Pulling your meat.

[sarahinacan84]

"in other news, it appears men are desensitized to all but testicle related violence"

[metsofficalpage]

a guy to bunt for u lol

automatic doors

[teokiatuan2]

rofl sunflower seed dispensers

[lifeafter79]

that was funny

"gazebo covered on deck circles" phenomenal

[ErikWithBrain]

indeed :D

[BRONXBOMBERSoORG]

How do these "reporters" keep a straight face when doing this fake report. hahaha Did you realize that for a box seat behind home plate in Yankee Stadium now, you could buy a 32" LCD HDTV with that money instead? LOL That appears how absurd and expensive Yankee tickets cost for a box seat behind home plate.

[ColonelShfinkter]

Seriously, living in New York or having grown up there are really the only excuses for being a Yankees fan that I can think of.

[smo699]

Then why does their fanbase consist of millions off the nation's shores? There must be 'some' reason...

[joenym23]

good reason: peer pressure. word gets out and people want their team to win. istill am i met fan and i live in ny

[LasPlusHolz]

But they're cool... D:

[littlechivita]

amen!

[Alif7845]

lol i remember i saw this either E:60 or Outside the lines on ESPN

[DaveO15]

Hah?

[umahuma4]

Yankees, used to be a good team, now there a bad team with to much money to send

[hifhre]

ha a little yankee time

[CNezChannel]

Gold Bases

[redsox3906]

if this was true there would be no room at all to put it. also those cool breezes would come out at 20 miles per hour.

[jayrock021]

Hilarious!!!!! On Deck Gazebo's...LMAO!!!!

[j15forlife]

Wow the Yankees would do something like that.

[askarana]

YANKEES SUCK!!!!!!

[ocsspot]

u suck!

[scottymcclain]

So sluggers wont have to waste their time bunting to advance runners... Priceless

[meavid]

roustabouts!

[Dangit2019]

yankee time,lol

[PhenomenalWun77]

watch?v=YPnGPIMUnus

[bighitta13]

ho' yanks

[maulurass]

reggie greengrass lmao

[malkiaj1]

haaa haaa haaa ROFL " In case A-rod ever needs anything from the team!" haaa haaa haaa

[lejink]

"porn star overcomes cancer to take multiple cocks once again- inspiring storys and videos next'  LOL!!

[bizichyld]

Yankees suck.

(I have to say that here because I'm not allowed to wear it on my shirt at Seattle's pussy-catering Safeco Field)

[yanks269208]

Yankees Suck huh?

coming from a Seattle fan, I get a great laugh out of your comment

[YankeesObama]

We're gonna win it all

[warzIbanez]

Fucking Nintendo owners...

[kenshinsd]

lol at the news ticker at the bottom of the screen. "Obama backtracks to say hello to two sunbathing babes"

[vgamer216]

lol a-rod has his own stadium

[ewok84606]

dude, i just realized he's the bald guy. i'm quick.

[GeorgeVreelandHill]

I am a Yankee fan, but even I had to laugh at this funny video.

Great stuff.

You should have thrown in a hotel too!

Go Yankees!!

George Vreeland Hill

[tdm110]

"men are dissensitized to all but testicle related violence." hahahahahahahaha=)!

[tiffany2tiffany]

Sunflower seed dispenser.....lmao

[whateverbitches01]

a-rod is a-fraud on facebook. <3 the pic they used. :)

[SuperrrDT]

This was Great!

[binarystar300]

a-roid might lose his new stadium since he got caught haha

[SierraM363]

Lol. This is hilarious. Hopefully the Yankees fail to make the playoffs again this year.

[JPizzle1122]

TEKM0SIS - why do you hate the Onion so much? Second question, why are you an intolerant bigot?

Thanks for answering.

- Jon