Added: 5 years ago
From: hughjarrse
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  • This is sooo funny!! You have to be really smart to be this funny!!

    And for all you offended Christians out there: FYI, Old Testament has nothing to do with Christianity so stop wining. It talks about things that "happened" way before Christianity and is actually the backbone of the Jewish faith which is the faith from which both Christianity(Jesus was Jewish, remember?) and Islam evolved.

  • Sorry, too many things in that book just don't add up, he has only pointed them out.

  • Before all you people start preaching about Christianity and God maybe you should learn how to spell SATAN. Satin is a type of fabric you fools!

  • @heycallmelater "Doctor, doctor, I think I'm the Devil" ........ ARE YOU SURE?......... "yes I'm satan"

    Ok so it works best with a New Jersey accent!

  • Chubby little loser?

    Say that to his face and he'd say "You're christian."

  • @a217799 "Chubby little loser? Say that to his face and he'd say "You're christian."

    Why would I say it to his face? David Bowie already did, in a song written by GERVAIS! type "bowie gervais" into tube

  • British people think on a different level than us Americans because our media is dumbed down for us.

  • The fact that lots of Christians try and push there beliefs on people is a turn off. That's what bugs me. But you won't find any credible creationists because the general public is usually close minded to the theory of creation. I try to be open minded

  • @Knalgin69 People are "close minded to the theory of creation" in exactly the same way that they are close minded to the theory of the stork bringing the baby.

  • @Knalgin69

    LOL.

    There is no "theory" of creationism, there is only the fairy tale of "creationism".

    In the words of the GREAT Tim Minchin:

    "Science adjusts it’s beliefs based on what’s observed

    Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved"

  • @Knalgin69 as a Christian, don't back down on your belief and do not succumb to the world's views. grow in Christ and answer according to the Bible. you either believe or you don't. sharing the Good News is a commandment.

  • I'm Christian and I thought that was hilarious, though he didn't get in depth on the bible and read segments that are not exactly making sense. Alot of it ties into free will and the fact that satin was the snake but that's not the point. I hope that everyone can respect Christianity tho even after this

  • @Knalgin69 He's not having a go at Christians (although he is Atheist) he's having a pop at creationists, there are some great scientists who are Christians, but you won't find any credible scientists who are creationists

  • @Knalgin69 I can respect Christian believers' right to believe whatever they wish, but I can never respect the cloud that Christianity and other religions cast over mankind and our planet. It is all lies, genocide, racism, sexism, propaganda, ignorance... I could go on.

  • @Knalgin69

    .....if god is omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent, than "free will" cannot by definition exist. Since god already knows exactly what is going to occur, you don't have any choice in the outcome. The only way you would have free will is if you could do something that god could not predict, and therefor he would not be god.

    Really to be honest christianity didn't deserve respect before this, so I see no reason why it should receive it afterward.

  • @IamTHEDeadFrog

    Bad arguement, knowing the future is not against free will. I know the Jets will not win the superbowl, does that mean they don't have free will? If this god knows what you will do, it doesn't mean you don't have choices, it just means he knows the choices you will make.

    Not saying any of it is real, but we do need sound arguments to beat back the born again nuts.

  • @Knalgin69 wait, the snake was satin?

  • @Knalgin69 Who's Satin? A soft bad guy?

  • @FindingMattch Yes, actually. Satin was basically a lawyer, you would go to the gates of heaven and satin would list your sins before it was decided if you enter. He wasn't evil, he told the truth. It was the Catholic church that turned the idea of Satin into some kind of evil dude. There was no hell before Catholics invented it.

  • @FindingMattch Yeah, but water is his primary weakness. It leaves spots, don't you know...

  • @Knalgin69

    Do you mean Satan? Anyway, I respect Christianity as much as Islam or Judaism. All are mythology, but for some reason, people still believe several thousand year old bronze age tall tales. Maybe it just comforts people? Maybe it gives people a feeling that they are more than they are? Or that they will not really die? Ricky is a brilliant comedian. He is just telling the truth is a way that gets a laugh. Cheers.

  • @Knalgin69 yeah but the whole "you can do what you want, but if you don't do what i tell you then i will punish you" isn't really fit the definition of "free will".

  • loooool

  • The bible is the single most epic work of fiction ever created

  • I am crap in bed but at least I've got bad breath LOL

  • I've only ever met one guy who believes in the old Bible Creation myth, I was seriously shocked. I'm pretty sure he was bullshitting me though.

  • "see his PUG NOSE face, yeah!"

  • 16 people are christians

  • @stephenbuster1 16 people are christians,....... with no sense of humor :o)

  • @stephenbuster1

    i think they're down to about 5 members now

  • @xBeyondInsane ""quite insightful for a Chubby little loser" .... what this guy is epic" type Bowie Gervais into the youtube search bar (Ricky wrote the words)

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  • This is the right approach to religion. We need to laugh at superstition, its the best way to end it.

  • believers of all the world go fuck yourselves!!

  • @maskplax1 "believers of all the world go fuck yourselves!!" don't sit on the fence matey, say what's on your mind! . . . . . :o)

  • I like how he just says some quotes at some points with no joke and people just laugh at the Bible.

    Haha, the snake has perfect diction.

    The Swiss Army: Back off he's got some tweezers!

  • I like how he just says some quotes at some points with no joke and people just laugh at the Bible.

  • 'Alright back off he's got some tweezers' hahaha

  • Lol, very good Ricky

  • Fucking hilairious! :P

  • hilarious....because deep down all christians know the bible is a bunch of crap.

  • @N4t3shannon Ricky is an Atheist he's just taking the piss, no harm meant just fun, if you actually believe the earth is 6,000yrs old and we all came from Adam & Eve and Noah's Ark was real! there's really no point in expalining taxonomy, morphology mytrocondrial DNA, retro viruses, Talpids, syncronised menstruation, why yawns are infectious, blind cave fish, flightless birds, recurrent laryngeal nerve,optically stimulated luminescence dosimeter, stars millions of light years away, etc, to you

  • @N4t3shannon

    And what evidence do you have that Carbon dating doesn't work? It works just great within a sensible range of its half life (6,000 years for C14). You do realise they use completely different dating methods when it comes to most fossils and the age of the earth?

  • @N4t3shannon Phew, there I was thinking Carbon Dating was a reputable scientific method, but now that you have said it DOESN'T work without any explanation I feel very different now. Cheers.

  • @N4t3shannon "then how come it was in existence since the near first records of time?".... hmmm bible approx 1500 bc... evidence of human farming circa 8000 BC...

     I don't think so tim.

  • @N4t3shannon you genuinely are, completely deluded.... lol "carbon dating doesn't work"

  • The Swiss Army Knife bit is Seinfeld's...

  • "And there was light...Uoh! Brilliant!"

  • Haha the snake really did get the best deal...

  • Genious.

  • lol "right lets have a look...uuuhhhh ... I need some planets!" lmao

  • 15 people "don't like" this video. Guess they are they whacky buy-bull bangers?

  • This is comedy. I wouldn't be surprised if he was Christian.

  • @tpstrat14 "This is comedy. I wouldn't be surprised if he was Christian"

    He would, he's a vehement Atheist

  • The bit that's cut off at the end is "I wish I could fly like normal".

  • Brilliant, fucking brilliant

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  • what stand up is this from?

  • @Mluna792 "what stand up is this from?" Animals

  • Stand-up comedians like Bill Hicks, Eddie Izzard, and Ricky Gervais are truly brilliant men, and being comedians, all they do is try and put the thought of God into perspective...and if you think about it...creationism is rather absurd.

    Read The Bible People! It is a great read if you are into fantasy novels...

  • @casualvideos also a really good fantasy read, any book that starts "Billions of Years Ago". As in "Once upon a time" or "Long ago in a galaxy far far away"...

  • @casualvideos I prefer Harry Potter, because in the Bible there is one magic man, in Harry Potter, there are thousands of magic people. haha :D

  • @casualvideos Gorge Carlin.

  • @fegu the king

  • @casualvideos I prefer the Chronicles of Narnia for my religious texts...

  • @casualvideos Ha Ha. Ricky is a very funny guy. I love the podcasts, the office, extras. All our frickin hilarious. But he's a weak stand up and not in the same league as Hicks and Izzard. Science is really quite rubbish. And to point out the absurdity of creationalism is pretty obvious really. It don't take a genius.

  • @casualvideos or dark comedies :)

  • Haha, I love this... Gervais is brilliant.

  • lol ricky gervais is a genius. to all the christian zealots who peddle their inane, fallacious drivel on youtube (of all places):

    arguing on the internet is like competing in the special olympics.

    even if you win, you're still retarded.

  • do you believe in santa ?

  • I believe in God and jesus is Lord. I found its a waste of time to argue and talk to people like this. I spend my time sharing with others that are open to hearing the truth. These people just want to argue. I dont waste my time returning there questions.

  • Amen brother. You know the truth and I know the truth. Share you wisdom with someone that is open to hearing it. Most of these people have there heart closed and are angry or in denial. They will all be on there knees soon praising God as Lord.

  • Lol this was GREAT. :D

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  • I love ricky gavais!! He is a legend!!

  • The comment below was aimed at tomcamp6023's "I'm a creationist and fundamentalist etc etc".. sorry for youtube arguing everyone but fundamentalist christians who voice there opinions too much are my weak point!

    P.S Gervais is a genius!

  • LOL

  • this is so good....all he's doing is reading it, doesnt even have to make it sound ridiculous!

  • What a crank.

  • Ricky gervais believes and know there is God. He is spending his whole life rebelling against what he knows to be true and making a fool of himself. He is reading the bibe without a real clue of what it mean.

  • people who believe in god are intrinsically insecure. They yearn for acceptance and validity. they can not abide the thought of their lives going unobserved and being devoid of reason, other than procreation

    we are animals, no more

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  • that was my point, they need the idea of a god, observing them and loving them to feel special

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  • @tomcamp6023

    good on ya. whatever makes you happy fella

  • Your right. Im weak and I need God. Im powerless without him. He gives me strength. Without God I am nothing.

  • I tend to keep out of discussions on my videos when two people are "locking horns" over a topic, but because you keep marking comments as "spam" when they are quite obviously not shows the weaknesses in your arguments

  • You can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink. Im not into back and fourth. Is God real or not. I have proof in what happened to me that he is real. Supernatural. You would not believe but its real. So if you dont want to believe ok. But if this happened to you. You would want to share this and let everyone know. If you found out something so powerful and life changing would you keep it to yourself. I cant .

  • "You can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink. Im not into back and fourth. Is God real or not. I have proof in what happened to me that he is real. Supernatural"

    Fair enough, but you have to give Tom Cruise and Joseph smith the same indulgence when they tell you with sincerity their revelations are real and then there are people who swear they have seen ghosts, the loch ness monster and Elvis, I'm no knocking you, I just find it extremely unlikely

  • Good point. But there are not millions of people that have seen elvis or the loch ness monster. There are millions or people that have turned there life over to God and have felt the exact same things I have. I also believe when you want to believe something you can make it real in your mind. I have experienced that before and this is not even close to what it is like. Do you know who Ricky Gervais think created him.

  • "Good point. But there are not millions of people that have seen elvis or the loch ness monster"

    Millions of people are not brainwashed into thinking Elvis or the loch ness monster are real and if you don't believe you will go to hell from the age of three! you cannot leave that out of the equation, that's how you get people to fly planes into buildings

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  • "I was never taught anything."

    I find that hard to believe you were never taught the jesus story in primary school!

    "They are not saved"

    They would say the same about you!

  • I was actually taught evolution not creation but evolution was one mans idea. Darwin. Why would anyone believe this one man.

  • Woah! I didn't realize you were a creationist! Joseph Priestly discovered oxygen why should anyone believe him? because the evidence and availability for empirical experimentation to prove it, Darwin may have stumbled on evolution, but it's backed up by every biology department in every credible university in the world, you would see a serial killer executed on DNA evidence, yet when the SAME geneticist tells you with equal certainty we share an ancestor with apes you choose not to believe them

  • Discovered oxygen? You cant discover something that has alway been there. He might have come up with a name for it but we have been breathing it for years. Who discovered the sun? Darwin was one man and was on cocaine most of his life. He was crazy by the end of his life. A theory of evolution. The world is corrupt and there are always people trying

    there hardest to disprove God. Not going to happen.

  • Your ranting now my friend I'm off to bed, but to put you right he discovered oxygen, he didn't invent it that's where you're making a mistake, you question about who discovered the sun is infantile, the sun has always been obvious so had no need for discovery, helium was discovered by observing the sun using tools not available in past times, I'll not be getting into a discussion with you, you seemed like a decent bloke who happened to believe in god, now I see your a fundamentalist crackpot.

  • Most scientist used to think the earth was flat. If you think you evolved from a Monkey that is your Loc ness.

  • "Im a fundalmentalist. If you think you could change that you need to grow up. Ok mate"

    fortunately people like you don't shape society, if the medical profession thought like you we would still be eating the heart of a black ass to cure epilepsy, Oops! did I say epilepsy, I meant to drive out the evil spirits, I'm still shocked that you didn't realise the oxygen molecule was discovered, I suppose Newton never discovered gravity. "I was never taught anything" you're not kidding mate

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  • "God doesnt allow fags to be married. BIBLE"

    But he allowed Seth to shag his sister!!

  • HAHAHAHA!! Good one! I shall use it....

  • Seeing as you never answer any questions I will try a blunt question, is this god of yours omniscient or omnipotent ?(I'm assuming you know what that means)

  • "I see your getting alittle angry. Sorry if I upset you mate"

    not angry just frustrated, I don't know how primary school teachers do it, but then I suppose children are willing to learn, you have a child's outlook without the wonder or desire to learn

  • "You cant discover something that is already there"

    So I guess the word discover should be removed from the dictionary because according to you no one can ever discover anything, so no one discovered the dead sea scrolls and no one discovered penicillin, if you were any dumber someone would have to water you twice a week.

  • "You spend your time hating God and I spend my time loving God . There is hope for you. Confess you sins and give your life over to Christ. Im not angry. I just feel bad for you. I will not be reply to you anymore. Goodbye"

    lol, just because you can't answer the omniscient/omnipotent question, I thought you might at least have had a go

    So game, set and match to me then

  • @hughjarrse don't feel bad for me...your God doesn't care anyway. I have nothing to confess because we are all human and make mistakes. few questions... 1) can people walk on water these days??? 2) Is imaculate conception a part of human fucnctioning in todays society...

  • @mcleb007 Well for a start I have no god, and I walk on water every winter, immaculate conception no, ejaculate conception yes

  • @hughjarrse How can I hate something that does not exist?

  • @MarkusZatac Am I missing something here?

  • @hughjarrse How can I hate a god that does not exist?

  • @MarkusZatac You don't hate God, you hate religion. I've been an atheist most of my life, but I recently came around to another way of looking at things. Believe based on your experiences, not on a 2000-year-old text. I see life as being like water in a bottle. Outside the bottle is God, but in this life, there is no God, and so there is no proof. But pre-birth, and death, that's where God is. A sense of something greater, that's what I believe in. None of that religious shit.

  • @BlueVane "A sense of something greater, that's what I believe in." Why do you believe in something you do not know? "But pre-birth, and death, that's where God is" What god?

  • @MarkusZatac That's literally what I said to somebody on Youtube a few weeks ago! xD

    - I believe in that sense because I feel it, or at least I perceive that feeling as being a sense of something greater.

    - My definition of "God" isn't the traditional sense. I don't mean an all-knowing deity that has a master plan and watches over us all, controlling everything. Rather, I mean "God" as in that "something greater". A force that propels us to experience life, and then return to nothingness.

  • @BlueVane Sounds Buddhist, good for you. It's truly the most peaceful of all religions.

  • @reedo1703 Well, like I said, I'm non-religious, but I'd definitely call myself spiritual, and that's a big theme in Buddhism. I've always been fond of the Buddhist religion though, it takes a different approach than the more traditional ones.

  • @MarkusZatac Ahh! I see your mistake, you think I said that, although they're small there are quotation marks in my post I was replying to someone's comment

  • @MarkusZatac classic comment. and the earth you're standing on was made by a molecule that produced you. genius

  • @ottie0420 You are a dumb ass if you believe that god exist! No proof of god, no god.

  • @MarkusZatac the proof is in His book and it IS by faith we are saved. i'm not here to debate markus, i believe in God. what/who do you believe in and why? no anomosity is necessary. i really just want to know.

  • @ottie0420 First of all it felt like you insulted me. That is why you got the animosity. I do not believe in god, it is in my view that such a being don't exist. Whatever we want to think it does not matter, because life shows that god does not run our daily life's. I have never agreed with religion, I am much happier not living the lie. I have one life only and I am not gonna waist it on delusional fantasy. The bible is a book and not proof of god, to many problems with it.

  • @tomcamp6023 >>> Unfortunately you are a very mixed up person and I feel

    sorry for you and people like you but there's still hope as it is never too late to change your ways and rely on what can be scientifically proven. Science is the only way to help anyone discover the truth. Science is now, and even more so the future.

  • "You spend your time living in the real world, I spend my time fortifying my house of cards. There is hope for you. Submit your will to the church and give your life to the priests. I'm not angry, I'm just really condescending, and my faith has been shaken by your comments, thusly I won't engage anymore."

  • @tomcamp6023 saying to pple you KNOW that God exist but you just don't wanna admit it doesn't mean anything, i could say to u, u know God doesn't exists but you are too scared to accept the truth.

    As an atheist i am free and willing to accept any God and any religion as long as you show me the evidence that YOUR particular God and religion is the right one and give me the reasons why all others are bullshit and saying its written in a 2000 year old book is not good enough

    are u free and willing?

  • Its so funny how people are so quick to think God is make believe but they never question that they evolved from a monkey. LOL

  • It;s funny how things come full circle

    "grow up mate, you're nearly 40! "

    I couldn't have put it better myself

  • Im a creationist and a fundalmentalist. If you think you could change that you need to grow up. Ok mate.

  • In other words you're a closed minded, deluded individual who doesn't accept scientific discovery which has been validated and PROVEN by fair and balanced experiments. You would prefer to believe a load of stories written thousands of years ago by people that thought a thunderstorm was god getting angry. Everybody is entitled to an opinion, but yours is the kind of opinion best kept to yourself.

  • LOL. God is great!

  • Ok you can think we evolved from a monkey and live your life on a theory. Darwins theory has been debunked. Darwin at the end of his life professed he sorry and loves God. Just like you will.

  • @tomcamp6023

    No, he discovered oxygen. Just like Newton discovered gravity. Both had "always been there" as you put it, but they discovered the nature of the phenomena and acurately described it to the world.

    Oh yeah, and nobody is trying to disprove god, because there's no need to. No evidence that he exists in the first place. It would be like trying to disprove invisible pink unicorns.

  • "Do you know who Ricky Gervais think created him"

    Gervais is up there with Dawkins and Hawking on that subject

  • Its funny you talk about Ghost. I have seen and experienced these things. So I can know relate to people that have seen so called Ghosts. I didnt want to believe or ever think of believing in spirits but it happened and it was awesome. Happened After the Holy spirit entered my body. I was also able to do many things that I couldnt before. Gifts . I had no idea what this was and I read up on it and that happens . Sounds crazy but it happeneds.

  • @tomcamp6023

    ...which is a truly self-defeating statement if it turns out in the end that we're right and there's no god. Wouldn't you like to hedge your bets? As you lot love to say, "What if you're wrong?"

  • I have faith and have the Holy Spirit in me. Can you imagine what that feels like. AWESOME. If you say I'm wrong as you say. I lived a great life and am enjoying every minute. NO REGRETS. God is awesome

  • @tomcamp6023

    If your religion makes you happy, then more power to you. But just understand three things:

    1) Your beliefs are not based on any rationality or logic but only on your desire to feel good.

    2) Your beliefs have no bearing on anyone without your beliefs. I will not go to hell just because you believe I will.

    3) Keep your faith out of my courts and schools, or move to a theocracy where such behavior is legal.

  • LOL. Understand you have no idea what you are talking about. The courts uses the bible and God everyday. You take that pledge when you testify. Oath to God are lord. Jesus Christ. Everyone I know go to a Christian school where they study the bible and pray to God everyday and its awesome.

  • @tomcamp6023

    "The courts uses the bible and God everyday."

    I know. And it's illegal and needs to be rectified. That's what I was saying.

    "Oath to God are lord"

    Are you really that bad at catching your own spelling errors? Or are you playing me?

    "Oath to God are lord. Jesus Christ."

    Nothing about the oath specifies Jesus. Just a god.  Allah, Yahweh, Jesus, Zeus, it is totally non-specific. Just FYI...

  • Most politicians take an oath of office and put there hand on the bible and that bible has a God and his name is Jesus. My money has God on it and it great. Glory to God. Last time I will replying to you because you make no sense and I can see your really angry. breathe and goodluck there little buddy.

  • @tomcamp6023

    "Everyone I know go to a Christian school where they study the bible and pray to God everyday and its awesome."

    As long as my tax dollars aren't funding those schools, they can learn any ridiculous nonsense they want there. It may be detrimental towards those children's futures. But that's not an immediate problem of mine.

  • @tomcamp6023

    PS. Is this Christian school where you learned grammar? Just a point of curiosity.

  • When you have to comment on my grammer or spelling, that means you ran out of things to say. Goodluck . God wants you and if you ask him he will be there.

  • @tomcamp6023

    I usually don't comment on grammar or spelling. But that was REALLY REALLY bad. Sorry. In fairness to me "running out of things to say," I DID write at least three valid argument surrounding my critique of your spelling and grammar to which you haven't responded. So who is running out of things to say?

  • @tomcamp6023

    BTW, I'm a very open-minded chap. So much so, that given the slightest possibility that God existed, and obviously if he did, I WOULD want to be saved, I asked him, and have sever times in fact, to demonstrate his existence to me somehow. A sincere request that he at least show me he exists so I can choose whether or not to worship him, rather than be stuck being unaware of him as I am now. Guess what he responded. I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with...

  • @XV24

    Some are like that. Others are just brainwashed. I've honestly noticed no constants between theists apart from their irrational belief in gods. Some are smart, some are dumb, some are nice, some are mean, some use their religion as a tool for their lives, others are tools OF their religion. It all depends on the person. The only constant is that, on this one particular issue, they don't really care whether they're right or wrong.

  • ricky gervais is the man.

  • God created you and he is awesome. Ricky Gervais is not intelligent. He is actually the exact opposite.

  • grow up mate, you're nearly 40!

  • Hey mate God created you. Are you rebelling against your father. MATE

  • "Hey mate God created you. Are you rebelling against your father. MATE"

    Absolutely not mate! what would be the point in rebelling against a fictional literary character? I may as well get annoyed with bugs bunny when he turns left at Albuquerque, everyone knows you should turn right at Albuquerque! but to clarify my position if someone expected me to believe bugs bunny was real and was in fact my father, I would find it quite wearing after the initial humor had worn off, Cheers MATE!

  • I feel a bit bad bashing you, but you declared "God created you and he is awesome. Ricky Gervais is not intelligent. He is actually the exact opposite" so you opened this duologue we're having, and you seem to have missed the point, Gervais is basically just reading the bible, it's not the bible it's self that is ridiculous, after all it's just a book, the unfathomable part is that people take it seriously despite the myriad of contradictions and falsehoods contained in it.

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  • Bono is a Christian. There are many interviews of him talking about his faith in God.

  • "You are in a tribute band and you are judging Tom Cruise?"

    Of course I'm not in a U2 tribute band! I thought you were getting at my screen name, I was having a bit of fun with you , if you were having a go at ItsChristOnaBike you obviously don't know that "Christ on a bike" is an English expression of incredulity, quite apt really, given the subject of our discussion, take it easy matey

  • @tomcamp6023

    "Ricky Gervais is not intelligent. He is actually the exact opposite."

    Ricky Gervais is YOU!?!? Pleased to meet you!

  • God does not make deals. When you are ready to give 100 percent of yourself to God he will be there. He knows your heart and your mind and there is no playing God. Goodluck with your journey.

  • @tomcamp6023

    You are wrong. I WAS ready, and he WASN'T there. Game, set, and match. Doesn't get more clear cut than this.

  • i love his comedy, so great

  • I would like to hear him criticize islam, practically alll other comedians are to chicken to do so. I want to see if this dude will.

  • "I would like to hear him criticize islam"

    Why would that be relevant to Ricky Gervais? He was born in a country where people used to believe in the bible and many people know the bible stories/myths, how could he do a routine mocking Islam if 90% of his audience would have no idea what he was on about?