ohmy godi have to say you are one of the bravest people i have ever seen i dont even know you yet im still so proud of you and have so much respect well done xxxx
Oh darling... this video.bought tears to my eyes..its so powerful, so beautiful..your strength in God just makes me hold onto my faith..you bought me to tears Johnny, I wish recovery for you , with all my heart and soul..I wish you could see you are beautiful, and that your Eating Disorder creates bad thoughts which do not reflect YOU, your beauty, kindness and depth..i dont know you personally but i look to your videos for comfort so so often.x
If you want my opinion, I think what would be better is someone not trying to suggest or tell another how to create their own heartfelt art. This is an authentic piece spoken from my heart not someone else's suggestion on how I should produce my art. I find it offensive one would even suggest such a thing. If I wanted to burn then I would of burned right? and of course this is symbolic or I would not of posted it or created it in the first place. Namaste.
You are amazing sweetheart, I hope that you are doing okay right now. I am proud of you for taking time off of YouTube to take care of yourself, it shows hope. Please keep fighting, keep choosing life, and keep doing the right things for your recovery. My thoughts and support are with you. Just keep fighting, you've come too far to let this take you back down. I have faith in you and I really do believe that you will make it through, you will make it out of this. Much love and support, Chandler.
this video made me feel so happy; wow it was so powerful that it made me cry. That was just so beautiful and you have so much courage for taking the steps to do all of that; can i ask how you felt immediately after making this video?
I am so thankful to see you moving toward recovery. This is an extremely powerful video. I am proud of you. On a totally girlie note: your corset is beautiful. Where did you get it from?
I am trying, thank you. I have a long ways to go. I recently lost and am trying to get back on track. It's easier said than done though but hey, every little bit counts/helps. This video camera, my portable one, adds an easy 10lbs then how I really look in person so I appear different than how I really look in person. I generally dont mention things like that but people seem to freak out when they see me in person compared to my videos online. Congrats on fighting your battles! knock em down!
this was very artistic. i get all of it except the undies part...can u please tell me what that part means cus i really hav know idea. but this was very beautiful n i love ur skirt! please some1 tell me tho what that part ment thanks
Sexual abuse, being exposed and vulnerable, sexual abuse... freedom from years of clogged guilt and shame. Notice the leg and feet positions, the drop of the underware, the seduction of it all, the pain and the burial.
I understood this as I watched. "The seduction of it all"... how beautiful and heart wrenching all at once. wonderful, thank you. Love from your Irish friend x
This Video made me relize that I`ve actually been getting somewhere the last years! When i saw the knife I just looked at my arm and said "NEVER AGAIN"!
either 1 of my many harrassers that I have blocked and yet they continue to make alternative accounts to attack or 2. someone who is very unstable and found this triggering and did it in reaction to their own emotional instability
omg, this video was so beautiful. It really touched my heart. I loved the style you used to portray the message.
It was really uplifting for me, I'd love to do something like this to say good bye to my insecurities and bondage that has held me back throughout the years. so that I can move forward and let that part of my life rest in peace. =P
I love you Johnny! Keep doing what you are doing. =]
;) improving, learning, growing, mending with a compassionate heart verse a bitter/angry/shameful one... embracing strength - and best of all, getting through things at a safe pace. thank you for asking! yes the blade is scary, the scary thing is we may always be faced with urges but the happy thing is that we can say no and move onward.
omg, Johnny I thought you were going to cut then. I was really freaked out so I had to pause it, I was so glad when you didn't. But now I've watched it through. We can do this okay? we Will recover one day!
Notice how I don't cut, I don't draw blood, I don't even light the smoke... notice how the enitre video is about letting go and moving on and how we are faced with th eghosrts of what we let go but must remember the strength we had to comeover come things. Consider my dear. recovery will only take place as you creat it.
Well I don't think it should even be a gender thing but think it's pretty ridiculous that one would come to a video like this and there is the only thing they have to comment on. I feel it's disrespecttufl towards me and my art. You know? I wouldn't shave my legs for the world, they are by far - and I mean this with every inch of my heart- the cutest hairy ape legs I have ever seen. I like to pet them. They are my lil dancin legs! Hugs. Thanks dear.
lol keep them, i bet they are cute. i have shaved in the past and got major skin problems. i guess because i am male that they are much greater accepted in society than if someone is female with hairy legs, that really sucks because hair is just there to protect and keep us warm not to be judged on. some dont even grow it orther have enough to weave a sweater with, ha
if I kept hair y legs..i would be single My friend!! funnily enough though ,my man is a tri- athlete ,and wanted me to wax HIS legs.Maybe He thinks it will make him cycle or swim faster?? who knows?!
Trust me ,you have the better legs out of us both!
Actually many swimmers, runners, etc. shave their legs for faster endurance purposes. It's quite common... most do it, it's more unusual for them not too...
Hi Sweet Pea, sorry for the late response. This comment is on a page with many I have yet to respond to - including CIndy's responses... Thank you for the kind words and for sharing your strength and acknowledging mine. Art was so healing for me last week. It came full force and now I am having some mental down time to process everything that came... the crisis has blocked some of that though and I need to focus on helping my Mom as well as myself. So I am keeping busy with that! I love you.
Something about the way you think, create, and DO - is to me, almost otherworldly. It's beyond what I feel capable of. I'm so touched by this and beyond proud of you for expressing these thoughts/actions so uniquely, so thoroughly. You are truly blessed, as are we to know you.
I am blessed to have you as a best friend. You are a gift in my life. You are so artistic as well, in so many creative ways. I hope that one day you can bring healing into your art too and fly free with it. I love you.
Simply beautiful and amazing. You are truly a wonderful artist who can convey such strong emotions. I guess they are strong because I go through them myself. I wish you the best of luck in your recovery. You are such a beautiful person to be sharing your personal struggle with us.
I love you so much. You never fail to make me more and more in awe of you! I really have no words, but I just wish I could tell you what your videos mean to me!
Wow wonderful video Johnny. I loved this. Its so powerful and so wonderful how you threw out your past, your old self has died and your reborn into someone new(your a new creation in Christ)...someone stronger than what was before. This made me cry!!!
The best way to slap me in the face is through God. I know that sounds bad, let me explain. To mention Christ reminds me that this is one area, God, that I can never fall short on, I can never really be prideful on, because I am - like everyone else - a sinner in many ways. I am also a believer. So when I hear about God, I instantly think about recovery and how He is the ONLY way out of what I still deal with... so thank you Sabrina, I dabble my religion -, a tennis match. I need the boosts.
Same here Johnny, the best way to get me to thinking straight is talking about God/thinking about it. All of my worries/anxiety/wordly desires seem to fade when I think upon him. He is amazing!
Good for you Johnny! This is a beautifully sybolic represesentation of lyour desire to release yourself from past hurts and addictions. God is with you all the way as you continue to process all of this darling. It is your divine right to be free and I am incredibly proud of your determined attitude toward this. lOVE LOTS x chelsea
Thank you sweetie, hugs. More God talk, need that. He is the only way out of this for me. I am doing horrific when I am not walking with God or atleast trying to give it over to Him. I woke up to 2 God oriented comments, I will take this as a sign to get even stronger in faith. Love to you
The purpose of burning the diary was that this friend could move on to the next stage in their life and, not hold on to their corrupted past. But, a person has to be ready to let go and move on to the next page, one page at a time, one letter one word one day at a time it can happen. " "Lets just call this starting the new diary one letter at a time ! " " And, remember the binder don't make the book and clothing won't make a person... I think you know what I mean. It's just ok ! :) Ok ? !
I love that, thank you for sharing. I like the one letter at a time, that is so awesome, Step by step. I actually made this video in leu of chapters already turned over with a solid history of absitence. It was a way of acknowleding my progress and reminding myself of my strength to continue to work on the "letters" in my current life in hopes of creating chapters of them to turn over. I am not quite there yet but like you said a chapster contains many words with many letters - that's brilliant
and I can really take this to heart. Actually, I might process what you wrote in therapy tomorrow. My therapist will love your theory. I am off to bed now and can rest in peace this evening knowing and growing. Thank you for this encouragement. You really have a gift, do you know this?
Johnny, This reminded me of an evening with a good friend. One evening a friend of mine brought a diary over that they had kept for about ten years. The friend wanted me to read it. I told my friend that I would if they really wanted me to however, I really didn't want to because it wouldn't change how I felt about them. I said it might be better if we just took it to the back yard and burn it in the outdoor fire bit. They agreed ! Please read on to 2nd part...
Thank you. Hole was one of my favorite groups growing up... this song just hit me hard the other day and I knew I had to use it in processing. She's got some great stuff, great talent.
hugs. thank you dear. i promise you this - i am not going to just get through it, i am getting through it right now. in the now, i am living through it.
I think artistic expression and performance have such a powerful role to play in healing. I really commend you for sharing your vulnerability and strength with us. Thank you.
THank you, I totally agree. Art therapy has been crucial in my healing which is why I plan to do it for career one day, it works. Big time. Gratitude, xo
thanks to Madame S in SF, or some call it Mrs S... and hot topic for that skirt! The corset though is a custom piece of art, it's not basic lingerie, it's used for professional and fetish tight lacing/corset training... so it was a pretty pretty penny lol and worth every bit
Thank you sweetie. It was as if I woke up one morning and was flooded with emotions that I have been bingeing and purging away for years. Pandora's box has been opened... and I am finding my treasures revealed. I am glad I can share them as I find them.
Hugs. I accept that love and send it back to you. We all possess great power inside ourselves. We also possess great strength, not all use it. I have many areas of my life I need to strengthen... doing stuff like this helps in the process. Inspire to seek yours as well and use it as much as you can. There is no right or wrong way, I have learned.
life is as simple as we make it or as complicated as we make it. some things feel harder... the burial is the reward not the start. the start is healing from within, the burial is a lot easier after the healing has started to happen. we can't just expect ourselves to get up on morning and let go, it's a process but the more we process the easier it gets. you know?
hmm, you're right. but sometimes i feel like there's never an "end"... a burial seems like the fights over.
but you're right... life is completely how we perceive it. i'm still trying to grasp that concept.. how all feeling comes from within, and isn't really external.
good things to bring up, to ponder. if emotions were external - surface level then how could they reach us so deep inside? how could we feel? cry? laugh? love? it all comes from within and whatever starts from within, ends from within everything else is a stepping stone on the path, the process. things die, spirits linger. is there really an end to life? what happens when the flesh leaves the earth? do our souls and spirits remain? carry on new life? are we at peace then? can we find peace now?
can we find peace now? on earth? certainly. many do. peace and freedom are earned. whatever we are willing to work for will ultimately work for us in return.
good things to bring up, to ponder. if emotions were external - surface level then how could they reach us so deep inside? how could we feel? cry? laugh? love? it all comes from within and whatever starts from within, ends from within everything else is a stepping stone on the path, the process. things die, spirits linger. is there really an end to life? what happens when the flesh leaves the earth? do our souls and spirits remain? carry on new life? are we at peace then?
jumps you and tackles you with hugs... its been like months! i hope you are well. so glad to see you hear. how is raw going for you? adjusted to solids again?
The ability to acknowledge, understand, accept, respect, let go and move forward. The reality that we will be challenged, questioned "should I do this, should I return to this, is it really worth it?" and instead of what we use to choose, the choice to do something instead. To let others going through similar trials that they are not alone. To show everything that is manifesting inside me throughout my healing process. I am here to show my truth, as I know it, as I find it and as I live it.
Great questions. I ask you the same. I also would like to know what you got from this as I value your opinion on my art. Ps. did you get my messages about the mail? I have been trying to contact you all week dear!
It takes bravery to talk about any issue, doesn't matter what it is. We need people to talk about all sorts of issues that way we get a variety. I didn't talk about gender stuff until really like a week ago and hearling has been coming at a rapid speed more so in emotional, spiritual and artistic self. Ed talk for you will come when it's meant to come if that's what you are meant to do here. In the mean time keep processing whatever you feel you need to process, that is what's important + brave!
With suffering comes learning and with learning comes growing... with growing comes death and rebirth.Thank you for letting me know this touched you. Hang on dear. Hugs.
This is so moving, Johnny- it's really apparent how hard you have been working and how far you have come. I know how difficult and confusing it can be to bury old coping mechanisms and to mourn addictions in order to let them go- but yes! change is a beautiful thing! god bless you on your journey, i look forward to seeing what other creative, moving and beutiful videos you'll create in the future :-) <3
Thank you lovely! I am a firm believer that we must respectfully go through grievence and loss during times of death and letting go. The star tattoos on my wrists were put on there at 18 when I decided to give up cutting. I only had small relapses after that, never anything huge. Anyhow, aren't emotions a complete chaotic mess but also an oppurtunity for change/transformation at the same time? Life seems complex but really it's flippen beautiful. Hugs n gratitude to you xo
Holding you tight:: and um well if you like letting you borrow the outfit based on your comment above, smirk. Ps. the shoes are magical, they allow you 1 wish, choose wise!
A hello kitty hankie and a seat next to you to mourne together. After that we will get up and rejoice! oh and then you can teach me some of your amazing fitness techniques to help me have some "the beach is that way" bicepts, thank you in advance, lol!
Johnny you are an amazing artist, and you always inspire hope in me. Thank you <3 Today was a hard day but I came home and watched your piece and it lit a fire in me. It really made me think about letting go of the past and moving on in healing (which I know is exactly what you are doing). Congratulations on all of your improvements and I know you will keep up the excellent work :) Love to you!!
I can't tell you how many beauty mags I had as a teenager... I'm 27 now and don't even waste time with them... (the weight watchers mag in this video came from upstairs not from my apartment). I really only encounter them when making expressive collages in therapy. You may want to look into doing the same, use them for another reason - or just ditch them when you feel you are ready to give them up. Change is a beautiful thing and you can create it from things you may of never though you could.
My daughter watches your videos and I think that this video will do her more harm than good I think that it will encourage her to continue her destructive behaviour. To me this is a very disturbing video
Then she is obviously in a very unstable place if she would look at this as something to encourage self harm when I am letting it go in this video. I would then encourage her to seek help elsewhere. DId you report my video?
Also, I am not responsible for anyone's self destructive behavior, nor can one blame or point a finger at me for their own behaviors. We must all take ownership for our own issues and how we chose to deal with them. It's a choice to behave certain ways. I hope she gets the help she deserves. If you find my videos disturbing then I recommend you not watch them, why waste your time.
continued' - I am wondering if what's really disturbing to you is your own account with your daughter and not so much a video that expressing giving up and letting go off old destructive behaviors. Maybe the psychology to you finding disturbance in this video is not the video itself but emotional triggers due to graphic content that your daughter can relate to? Did you report my video? I hope that if you can send me a comment like this then you can answer a question like this... thanks.
No i did not report your video I would never do that everyone is entitled to place the content they wish on youtube its up to the youtube police to do that thankyou for you thoughtful answers you may be right you seem to have a great maturity for one so young I guess I am coming to terms with the complexitees of my daughters issues thankyou for taking the time to answer and not just brush me off like so many others do on youtube to others
I am not sure what she is dealing with but if it's eating disorder related, I highly recommend checking out Something Fishy if you haven't already. I have sent quite a few parents there, including my own (Mom, Father is deceased). Thank you for replying. I can respect this. I can also respect that you understand this is my healing process and I should not have to censor it on anyone's accountability. Honesty, best policy. I hope whoever reported it did so for protection purposes not to harass.
Awhile back I started to get swarms of very ignorant and immature attacks and because of that I have had to disable votes, comments, etc. People are brutal in their own inner wars and some choose to project them to others by externalizing their pain. It's not fair for the sufferer or the victims. I will say a prayer for you and your daughter and keep faith that she is and will fully heal. She is lucky to have you in her life as support - and it's wonderful that you are open to learning. Hugs.
It is by far the most comprehensive ED site out there! You will learn so much. They have a great section of how to interact with family/loved ones... things to avoid saying, how not to encourage/enable it, and so forth. I can't post links in comment boxes - wish I could - will send you 2 links...
Ps I just wrote you a detailed email and it won't send because you have friend lock. Can you unenable it for a moment so I can send - you can enable it right after if you'd like. I have some good info for you.
oh no sorry ..well yes that too..but in france those thin ciggarettes are called vogue haha sorry for the confusion. but while I'm writing I also been meaning to tell you how much you've educated me. I've learned a lot from your channel and I am hopefully more open minded and accepting of people:) I'm not good at explaining things really and tend to ramble like so... lol just thanks for the videos you make and just being you:)
Ah! here they are called Capris - on the package... Anyhow, thank you so much for sharing with me that I've helped educate you. An open mind is a beautiful thing. You worded yourself well, no worries - I am very appreciative. HUGS
WTF
IsidoraGleek 1 week ago
:)
marcelaa20 2 weeks ago
I love this song by Hole.
ssiiaabb 2 months ago
this was scary.........maybe this is why it was age restricted....how did I even get here?
webkinz7709 2 months ago
Comment removed
DoctorRainbow8321 10 months ago
i think as an ex geisha , this is a moving peice of art.
my brother and i really think its interesting xoxo海
elelkilua 1 year ago
:( i cant let go.
even if i wanted to.
someone out there, please help me with some advice?
CaughtHalfMast 1 year ago
Respect, man! I wish I could rate this with 5 stars!!
BlueZephyrTG 1 year ago
@BlueZephyrTG And btw, what's the music in the background?
BlueZephyrTG 1 year ago
ohmy godi have to say you are one of the bravest people i have ever seen i dont even know you yet im still so proud of you and have so much respect well done xxxx
suicidalbinky 1 year ago
beautiful. Extremely brave. A bit triggering but I am glad I watched it. Thanks for posting this!
Keep your head up
and God bless your beautiful soul.
MichelleChanel 2 years ago
:')
this video made me cry..
i think you are so strong to be able to just take it all and bury it like that..
i wish i could.
BE STRONG! <3
monkeycars911 2 years ago
Oh darling... this video.bought tears to my eyes..its so powerful, so beautiful..your strength in God just makes me hold onto my faith..you bought me to tears Johnny, I wish recovery for you , with all my heart and soul..I wish you could see you are beautiful, and that your Eating Disorder creates bad thoughts which do not reflect YOU, your beauty, kindness and depth..i dont know you personally but i look to your videos for comfort so so often.x
XxXSmileenXxX 2 years ago
Yes, I agree, very powerful video, Johnny. xo
sideshowtink 2 years ago
yes, the knife scared the hell out of me 2, but strong video <3
MissHeidiM 2 years ago
i just got chills
improbcreepingyou 2 years ago
Maybe burning would be better? You could still dig those things up haha...but I guess this was all symbolic, right?
derekaitken 2 years ago
If you want my opinion, I think what would be better is someone not trying to suggest or tell another how to create their own heartfelt art. This is an authentic piece spoken from my heart not someone else's suggestion on how I should produce my art. I find it offensive one would even suggest such a thing. If I wanted to burn then I would of burned right? and of course this is symbolic or I would not of posted it or created it in the first place. Namaste.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
beautiful...im very moved
MyPinkRainbow 2 years ago
I have those shoes. <3
kaylynn8806 2 years ago
I enjoyed this video. I hope your feel better now. :)
kidAmy 2 years ago
i <3 u!
nirvanachick84 2 years ago
another way to get rid of Your/Our demons. i know i should do this, and start a New outlook on life. THANK YOU VERY MUCH JOHNNY.
p0uts 2 years ago
Name of the Song ??? Pleaseeeeeeee
NGTHelena 2 years ago
This was so great! I should do something like this.
organicjennifer 2 years ago
You are amazing sweetheart, I hope that you are doing okay right now. I am proud of you for taking time off of YouTube to take care of yourself, it shows hope. Please keep fighting, keep choosing life, and keep doing the right things for your recovery. My thoughts and support are with you. Just keep fighting, you've come too far to let this take you back down. I have faith in you and I really do believe that you will make it through, you will make it out of this. Much love and support, Chandler.
ChandlerrVictoria 2 years ago
loved ittt
volleygabby 2 years ago
Disturbing [....] ♥
ImmaTiger 2 years ago
Your soul radiates.
brightsleep 2 years ago
so impressive. sweety, i can feel you... wow I am speechless.
xo
favea 2 years ago
good one, if a little scary. soz that ive been off for the last like 5 months - ive been IP xxx
fruitycrumble 2 years ago
what is the song playing?
gigglebaskets 2 years ago
Its the band "Hole", i think the song is called "dying" and is from their record Celebrity skin.
eifosnosslo 2 years ago
I believe it's by Hole and called "dying".
PrettiestPinkGun 2 years ago
I like to plant peonies.
lunarjellies 2 years ago
this video made me feel so happy; wow it was so powerful that it made me cry. That was just so beautiful and you have so much courage for taking the steps to do all of that; can i ask how you felt immediately after making this video?
galaxycat3 2 years ago
this vid really touched me honey!! you ae so talented, and i am IN LOVE with your dress!! <3 xxxxxx
tashalicious88xx 2 years ago
life affirming life. acknowledging it, honoring it, and letting it go.
powerful piece, as always.
Paramystical 2 years ago
beautiful!
i'm planning to bury some things of my own soon because i graduate in less than a week so i'm putting all of the things i went through and did behind.
and no, i didn't forget your now very very late birthday present! i'm gonna mail it out this weekend.
and i'm getting my nose pierced :)
abcdefghigkimacat 2 years ago
*tear*
This was so beautiful, thank you.
I have those same shoes, but in red and black.
<3
FrossetBlod 2 years ago
Bravo! This was really amazing! It was really powerful...and I loved your luscious silk Puimond corset!
MadameRebecca 2 years ago
Thank you so much! I provided a little more info on it in the comment below to my friend Sarah aka bhindtheseeyes - if you are interested.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Hey stranger.
I am so thankful to see you moving toward recovery. This is an extremely powerful video. I am proud of you. On a totally girlie note: your corset is beautiful. Where did you get it from?
Love,
Sarah/lolife
bhindtheseeyes 2 years ago
Oh my friend, you are gaining weight now are you?
And...
DIE ANOREXIA!!!!
I feel like I have killed my own demon just recently by the way, it's bothering me less and less by the day ;)
Luovahullu 2 years ago
I am trying, thank you. I have a long ways to go. I recently lost and am trying to get back on track. It's easier said than done though but hey, every little bit counts/helps. This video camera, my portable one, adds an easy 10lbs then how I really look in person so I appear different than how I really look in person. I generally dont mention things like that but people seem to freak out when they see me in person compared to my videos online. Congrats on fighting your battles! knock em down!
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
this was very artistic. i get all of it except the undies part...can u please tell me what that part means cus i really hav know idea. but this was very beautiful n i love ur skirt! please some1 tell me tho what that part ment thanks
crazygurl37895 2 years ago
Sexual abuse, being exposed and vulnerable, sexual abuse... freedom from years of clogged guilt and shame. Notice the leg and feet positions, the drop of the underware, the seduction of it all, the pain and the burial.
Ps thanks dear
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
I understood this as I watched. "The seduction of it all"... how beautiful and heart wrenching all at once. wonderful, thank you. Love from your Irish friend x
lalalaAli 2 years ago
This Video made me relize that I`ve actually been getting somewhere the last years! When i saw the knife I just looked at my arm and said "NEVER AGAIN"!
SessanTunsberg 2 years ago
That corset is f'ing hot! Great outfit! Great video!
AshleyRheiner 2 years ago
I absolutely adore that outfit you are wearing!
nexmires 2 years ago
Why on earth was this flagged?
faete31 2 years ago
either 1 of my many harrassers that I have blocked and yet they continue to make alternative accounts to attack or 2. someone who is very unstable and found this triggering and did it in reaction to their own emotional instability
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
omg, this video was so beautiful. It really touched my heart. I loved the style you used to portray the message.
It was really uplifting for me, I'd love to do something like this to say good bye to my insecurities and bondage that has held me back throughout the years. so that I can move forward and let that part of my life rest in peace. =P
I love you Johnny! Keep doing what you are doing. =]
kaymarie888 2 years ago
beautiful message. i was scared too, when i saw the blade. i like the hair on your legs. :} how are you doing lately?
minervaeightyfour 2 years ago
;) improving, learning, growing, mending with a compassionate heart verse a bitter/angry/shameful one... embracing strength - and best of all, getting through things at a safe pace. thank you for asking! yes the blade is scary, the scary thing is we may always be faced with urges but the happy thing is that we can say no and move onward.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
omg, Johnny I thought you were going to cut then. I was really freaked out so I had to pause it, I was so glad when you didn't. But now I've watched it through. We can do this okay? we Will recover one day!
x
walktowardsthelight2 2 years ago
Notice how I don't cut, I don't draw blood, I don't even light the smoke... notice how the enitre video is about letting go and moving on and how we are faced with th eghosrts of what we let go but must remember the strength we had to comeover come things. Consider my dear. recovery will only take place as you creat it.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
very creative Jhonny!did someone ask why you dont shave your legs?dont know a lot of guys who do!!lol
hope your doing okay darlin.Take care,K X
kazzyjbeanz 2 years ago
Well I don't think it should even be a gender thing but think it's pretty ridiculous that one would come to a video like this and there is the only thing they have to comment on. I feel it's disrespecttufl towards me and my art. You know? I wouldn't shave my legs for the world, they are by far - and I mean this with every inch of my heart- the cutest hairy ape legs I have ever seen. I like to pet them. They are my lil dancin legs! Hugs. Thanks dear.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Hee hee , My thoughts exactly!
I have hairy ape legs at the moment..really should get started on them!
Need a weed whacker soon :P
keep dancin JhonnyXX
kazzyjbeanz 2 years ago
sorry,spelt your name wrongly! Ineed another coffee and a ciggie,brain all over the place.!
kazzyjbeanz 2 years ago
lol keep them, i bet they are cute. i have shaved in the past and got major skin problems. i guess because i am male that they are much greater accepted in society than if someone is female with hairy legs, that really sucks because hair is just there to protect and keep us warm not to be judged on. some dont even grow it orther have enough to weave a sweater with, ha
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
if I kept hair y legs..i would be single My friend!! funnily enough though ,my man is a tri- athlete ,and wanted me to wax HIS legs.Maybe He thinks it will make him cycle or swim faster?? who knows?!
Trust me ,you have the better legs out of us both!
kazzyjbeanz 2 years ago
Actually many swimmers, runners, etc. shave their legs for faster endurance purposes. It's quite common... most do it, it's more unusual for them not too...
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
wow!i wish i was as creative as u!!gr8 video!;)
ps:what's the song called?
getalonggangepisodes 2 years ago
why do you not shave your legs?
mitchellcbridge 2 years ago
Because I am proud of my hairy italian boy legs and because I don't have to do anything I don't want to do, smile.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
why do you shave yours? or not?
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
I shave my legs because I don't like body hair :-) but I know plenty of people who do like hair.
Nice video..very moving.
JessicaNyyx 2 years ago
Thinking of you
lilkel86 2 years ago
I love this video...on a side note. cute outfit :)
HtPnkKttn 2 years ago
rebirth! aloha! incredible!
so much inspiration and power here lemon drop. keep on moving through this, your strength is growing stronger each second.
I'm so totally proud of you, and stand strongly beside you all the way. xoxoxo
theskinnypig 2 years ago
Hi Sweet Pea, sorry for the late response. This comment is on a page with many I have yet to respond to - including CIndy's responses... Thank you for the kind words and for sharing your strength and acknowledging mine. Art was so healing for me last week. It came full force and now I am having some mental down time to process everything that came... the crisis has blocked some of that though and I need to focus on helping my Mom as well as myself. So I am keeping busy with that! I love you.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Delicously disturbing...but that was the point, wasnt it?
I love it...good riddance to old rubbish!
JamieSnyderTV 2 years ago
Yes, great choice of words. Thank you so much. HUGS
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
(PS: Great mulch. :)
peppernme 2 years ago
Something about the way you think, create, and DO - is to me, almost otherworldly. It's beyond what I feel capable of. I'm so touched by this and beyond proud of you for expressing these thoughts/actions so uniquely, so thoroughly. You are truly blessed, as are we to know you.
peppernme 2 years ago
I am blessed to have you as a best friend. You are a gift in my life. You are so artistic as well, in so many creative ways. I hope that one day you can bring healing into your art too and fly free with it. I love you.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Simply beautiful and amazing. You are truly a wonderful artist who can convey such strong emotions. I guess they are strong because I go through them myself. I wish you the best of luck in your recovery. You are such a beautiful person to be sharing your personal struggle with us.
plasticbarbiechild 2 years ago
Awesome.
coconutboi11 2 years ago
I love you so much. You never fail to make me more and more in awe of you! I really have no words, but I just wish I could tell you what your videos mean to me!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
ANAmariaOlsen 2 years ago
This is such a powerful video Johnny. I was more curious at first, but then mesmerized. It has a very meaningful message. Love it! xo~a
weaveamyweave08 2 years ago
Beutiful Art!
nicolegreg84 2 years ago
Thank you again, Johnny. This is another powerful video which we can all take something away from. You are such an inspiration.
faete31 2 years ago
your beautiful the way you are Johnny :)
i love your bag :p
a wonderful, inspiring video
love
<3
foreverdamagED 2 years ago
I watched this video several times in a row. Five Stars. :)
crystalandchris 2 years ago
Wow wonderful video Johnny. I loved this. Its so powerful and so wonderful how you threw out your past, your old self has died and your reborn into someone new(your a new creation in Christ)...someone stronger than what was before. This made me cry!!!
Lovesenduringpromise 2 years ago
The best way to slap me in the face is through God. I know that sounds bad, let me explain. To mention Christ reminds me that this is one area, God, that I can never fall short on, I can never really be prideful on, because I am - like everyone else - a sinner in many ways. I am also a believer. So when I hear about God, I instantly think about recovery and how He is the ONLY way out of what I still deal with... so thank you Sabrina, I dabble my religion -, a tennis match. I need the boosts.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Same here Johnny, the best way to get me to thinking straight is talking about God/thinking about it. All of my worries/anxiety/wordly desires seem to fade when I think upon him. He is amazing!
Lovesenduringpromise 2 years ago
Very good video and idea, kudos
diaryoftheunborn 2 years ago
Thank you very much.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
This is art. You´re an artist.
Cyberstilettos 2 years ago
Yes! another yes! and... aren't we all. Smile.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Good for you Johnny! This is a beautifully sybolic represesentation of lyour desire to release yourself from past hurts and addictions. God is with you all the way as you continue to process all of this darling. It is your divine right to be free and I am incredibly proud of your determined attitude toward this. lOVE LOTS x chelsea
anawings 2 years ago
Thank you sweetie, hugs. More God talk, need that. He is the only way out of this for me. I am doing horrific when I am not walking with God or atleast trying to give it over to Him. I woke up to 2 God oriented comments, I will take this as a sign to get even stronger in faith. Love to you
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
The purpose of burning the diary was that this friend could move on to the next stage in their life and, not hold on to their corrupted past. But, a person has to be ready to let go and move on to the next page, one page at a time, one letter one word one day at a time it can happen. " "Lets just call this starting the new diary one letter at a time ! " " And, remember the binder don't make the book and clothing won't make a person... I think you know what I mean. It's just ok ! :) Ok ? !
soulardbill 2 years ago
I love that, thank you for sharing. I like the one letter at a time, that is so awesome, Step by step. I actually made this video in leu of chapters already turned over with a solid history of absitence. It was a way of acknowleding my progress and reminding myself of my strength to continue to work on the "letters" in my current life in hopes of creating chapters of them to turn over. I am not quite there yet but like you said a chapster contains many words with many letters - that's brilliant
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
and I can really take this to heart. Actually, I might process what you wrote in therapy tomorrow. My therapist will love your theory. I am off to bed now and can rest in peace this evening knowing and growing. Thank you for this encouragement. You really have a gift, do you know this?
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Johnny, This reminded me of an evening with a good friend. One evening a friend of mine brought a diary over that they had kept for about ten years. The friend wanted me to read it. I told my friend that I would if they really wanted me to however, I really didn't want to because it wouldn't change how I felt about them. I said it might be better if we just took it to the back yard and burn it in the outdoor fire bit. They agreed ! Please read on to 2nd part...
soulardbill 2 years ago
Absolutely beautiful. Encouraging minds everywhere.
And I have that same corset!
laurenasia 2 years ago
I be you ravish in it! Thank you sweetie. Stay strong, you are!
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
wow I love this song, I love the piece and hun I love that corset!
AngelEyesSmile 2 years ago
Thank you. Hole was one of my favorite groups growing up... this song just hit me hard the other day and I knew I had to use it in processing. She's got some great stuff, great talent.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
yeah I agree. I love it.
AngelEyesSmile 2 years ago
once again, you are an amazing person, and i believe, scratch that, i know that you WILL get trhough this.
i promise : )
cheskalikewoah16 2 years ago
hugs. thank you dear. i promise you this - i am not going to just get through it, i am getting through it right now. in the now, i am living through it.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
I think artistic expression and performance have such a powerful role to play in healing. I really commend you for sharing your vulnerability and strength with us. Thank you.
Cintaku78 2 years ago
THank you, I totally agree. Art therapy has been crucial in my healing which is why I plan to do it for career one day, it works. Big time. Gratitude, xo
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
i n bet you look fab in it...........btw one of my fav videos from you hun *hugs*
keylargomel 2 years ago
hugs
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
hugs: thanks honey
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
i love you clothes
keylargomel 2 years ago
thanks to Madame S in SF, or some call it Mrs S... and hot topic for that skirt! The corset though is a custom piece of art, it's not basic lingerie, it's used for professional and fetish tight lacing/corset training... so it was a pretty pretty penny lol and worth every bit
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
cute panties! great vid!
vonblackmetal 2 years ago
victoria's secrets. lace up both sides. lots of fun. thank you.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Haha I was looking at your favorites, and I used to watch Living Single all the time. It's a great theme song.
Thetinypig 2 years ago
Holy crap that was my favorite show ever, that and Martin. Did you ever watch Martin?
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
F R EA KKKKKK. WOW, WHY JOHNNY? WHY.
YIPPPYSKIPPY 2 years ago
wait, what?
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
honey are you okay?
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
I love these new videos you have been making.
Thetinypig 2 years ago
Thank you sweetie. It was as if I woke up one morning and was flooded with emotions that I have been bingeing and purging away for years. Pandora's box has been opened... and I am finding my treasures revealed. I am glad I can share them as I find them.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
You are so strong. You inspire me.
Much love to you.
AndreaLiddell 2 years ago
Hugs. I accept that love and send it back to you. We all possess great power inside ourselves. We also possess great strength, not all use it. I have many areas of my life I need to strengthen... doing stuff like this helps in the process. Inspire to seek yours as well and use it as much as you can. There is no right or wrong way, I have learned.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Aw, I really liked this video, really insperational. Sometimes we just need to let go of things and move foward.
ExsRAUS 2 years ago
Yes, you are so right. Lessons to be learned. Hugs to you, gratitude.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
*hugs*
i wish it was as easy as a simple burial... symbolic :)
celerycoloredcarrots 2 years ago
life is as simple as we make it or as complicated as we make it. some things feel harder... the burial is the reward not the start. the start is healing from within, the burial is a lot easier after the healing has started to happen. we can't just expect ourselves to get up on morning and let go, it's a process but the more we process the easier it gets. you know?
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
hmm, you're right. but sometimes i feel like there's never an "end"... a burial seems like the fights over.
but you're right... life is completely how we perceive it. i'm still trying to grasp that concept.. how all feeling comes from within, and isn't really external.
thank you :)
celerycoloredcarrots 2 years ago
good things to bring up, to ponder. if emotions were external - surface level then how could they reach us so deep inside? how could we feel? cry? laugh? love? it all comes from within and whatever starts from within, ends from within everything else is a stepping stone on the path, the process. things die, spirits linger. is there really an end to life? what happens when the flesh leaves the earth? do our souls and spirits remain? carry on new life? are we at peace then? can we find peace now?
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
can we find peace now? on earth? certainly. many do. peace and freedom are earned. whatever we are willing to work for will ultimately work for us in return.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
good things to bring up, to ponder. if emotions were external - surface level then how could they reach us so deep inside? how could we feel? cry? laugh? love? it all comes from within and whatever starts from within, ends from within everything else is a stepping stone on the path, the process. things die, spirits linger. is there really an end to life? what happens when the flesh leaves the earth? do our souls and spirits remain? carry on new life? are we at peace then?
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
yes, we all need to bury some things from our lives don't we my dear..:) my time will come..:)
kiss kiss
cherryberryblossom 2 years ago
jumps you and tackles you with hugs... its been like months! i hope you are well. so glad to see you hear. how is raw going for you? adjusted to solids again?
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
what have you come here to show us love?
wolffenhaus 2 years ago
The ability to acknowledge, understand, accept, respect, let go and move forward. The reality that we will be challenged, questioned "should I do this, should I return to this, is it really worth it?" and instead of what we use to choose, the choice to do something instead. To let others going through similar trials that they are not alone. To show everything that is manifesting inside me throughout my healing process. I am here to show my truth, as I know it, as I find it and as I live it.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Great questions. I ask you the same. I also would like to know what you got from this as I value your opinion on my art. Ps. did you get my messages about the mail? I have been trying to contact you all week dear!
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
(about that one video and info --- more details in mail since I am not sure if you are comfortable with public convo tag on it)
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
I like the burying it idea. I've burned stuff in a campfire. But burying seems more symbolic.
I talk about SI in my vids, but for some reason i dont have the guts to talk about ED's....maybe some day.
I think you are very brave.
idranktheseawater 2 years ago
It takes bravery to talk about any issue, doesn't matter what it is. We need people to talk about all sorts of issues that way we get a variety. I didn't talk about gender stuff until really like a week ago and hearling has been coming at a rapid speed more so in emotional, spiritual and artistic self. Ed talk for you will come when it's meant to come if that's what you are meant to do here. In the mean time keep processing whatever you feel you need to process, that is what's important + brave!
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
that was beautiful. it really helped me understand what i have to do since i suffer with some of those. thank you so much Johnny.
kjo96 2 years ago
With suffering comes learning and with learning comes growing... with growing comes death and rebirth.Thank you for letting me know this touched you. Hang on dear. Hugs.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
What a fascinatingly creative mind you have to share with us
AveryBook 2 years ago
What a fascinating group of friends, viewers, subs I have to share with my dear. Thank you.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Oh and I love your outfit. x
juliemulie345 2 years ago
all yours to borrow dear now make your wish on my magical lacey black pumps!
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
This is so moving, Johnny- it's really apparent how hard you have been working and how far you have come. I know how difficult and confusing it can be to bury old coping mechanisms and to mourn addictions in order to let them go- but yes! change is a beautiful thing! god bless you on your journey, i look forward to seeing what other creative, moving and beutiful videos you'll create in the future :-) <3
gabbagee 2 years ago
Thank you lovely! I am a firm believer that we must respectfully go through grievence and loss during times of death and letting go. The star tattoos on my wrists were put on there at 18 when I decided to give up cutting. I only had small relapses after that, never anything huge. Anyhow, aren't emotions a complete chaotic mess but also an oppurtunity for change/transformation at the same time? Life seems complex but really it's flippen beautiful. Hugs n gratitude to you xo
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
It made me cry. Really amazing idea.
xxx
juliemulie345 2 years ago
Holding you tight:: and um well if you like letting you borrow the outfit based on your comment above, smirk. Ps. the shoes are magical, they allow you 1 wish, choose wise!
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! :)
urnext2 2 years ago
I do feel very special with all this lovely feedback. Thank you for contributing to my happiness today!
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
I love it! You are wonderful!
Harmbow 2 years ago
Why thank you and you are wonderful too, hugs.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Gosh that was so powerful Johnny. I have tears in my eyes.
You said so much without words.
shav0nne 2 years ago
A hello kitty hankie and a seat next to you to mourne together. After that we will get up and rejoice! oh and then you can teach me some of your amazing fitness techniques to help me have some "the beach is that way" bicepts, thank you in advance, lol!
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Beautiful, Johnny.
I haven't been on much, but from what I can see, you've taken amazing strides in your recovery. I'm so happy for you and hope you continue to heal.
bubblegumbead 2 years ago
Thank you, really thank you for seeing this but also pointing it out. I have great hope. Hugs::
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Johnny you are an amazing artist, and you always inspire hope in me. Thank you <3 Today was a hard day but I came home and watched your piece and it lit a fire in me. It really made me think about letting go of the past and moving on in healing (which I know is exactly what you are doing). Congratulations on all of your improvements and I know you will keep up the excellent work :) Love to you!!
amazingrace89 2 years ago
Keep that fire burning my dear. Let it shine shine shine. Hugs and healing your way, gratitude.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
i might do this with my seventeen mags, i only got them for the exercise sections and the thinspo. and that outfit hunny, is adorable.
cult66623 2 years ago
I can't tell you how many beauty mags I had as a teenager... I'm 27 now and don't even waste time with them... (the weight watchers mag in this video came from upstairs not from my apartment). I really only encounter them when making expressive collages in therapy. You may want to look into doing the same, use them for another reason - or just ditch them when you feel you are ready to give them up. Change is a beautiful thing and you can create it from things you may of never though you could.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
My daughter watches your videos and I think that this video will do her more harm than good I think that it will encourage her to continue her destructive behaviour. To me this is a very disturbing video
ithinklikeacow 2 years ago
Then she is obviously in a very unstable place if she would look at this as something to encourage self harm when I am letting it go in this video. I would then encourage her to seek help elsewhere. DId you report my video?
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Also, I am not responsible for anyone's self destructive behavior, nor can one blame or point a finger at me for their own behaviors. We must all take ownership for our own issues and how we chose to deal with them. It's a choice to behave certain ways. I hope she gets the help she deserves. If you find my videos disturbing then I recommend you not watch them, why waste your time.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
continued' - I am wondering if what's really disturbing to you is your own account with your daughter and not so much a video that expressing giving up and letting go off old destructive behaviors. Maybe the psychology to you finding disturbance in this video is not the video itself but emotional triggers due to graphic content that your daughter can relate to? Did you report my video? I hope that if you can send me a comment like this then you can answer a question like this... thanks.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
No i did not report your video I would never do that everyone is entitled to place the content they wish on youtube its up to the youtube police to do that thankyou for you thoughtful answers you may be right you seem to have a great maturity for one so young I guess I am coming to terms with the complexitees of my daughters issues thankyou for taking the time to answer and not just brush me off like so many others do on youtube to others
ithinklikeacow 2 years ago
I am not sure what she is dealing with but if it's eating disorder related, I highly recommend checking out Something Fishy if you haven't already. I have sent quite a few parents there, including my own (Mom, Father is deceased). Thank you for replying. I can respect this. I can also respect that you understand this is my healing process and I should not have to censor it on anyone's accountability. Honesty, best policy. I hope whoever reported it did so for protection purposes not to harass.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Awhile back I started to get swarms of very ignorant and immature attacks and because of that I have had to disable votes, comments, etc. People are brutal in their own inner wars and some choose to project them to others by externalizing their pain. It's not fair for the sufferer or the victims. I will say a prayer for you and your daughter and keep faith that she is and will fully heal. She is lucky to have you in her life as support - and it's wonderful that you are open to learning. Hugs.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Thankyou I have not heard of something fishy I will check it out thankyou again
ithinklikeacow 2 years ago
It is by far the most comprehensive ED site out there! You will learn so much. They have a great section of how to interact with family/loved ones... things to avoid saying, how not to encourage/enable it, and so forth. I can't post links in comment boxes - wish I could - will send you 2 links...
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Ps I just wrote you a detailed email and it won't send because you have friend lock. Can you unenable it for a moment so I can send - you can enable it right after if you'd like. I have some good info for you.
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
Johnny, that was AMAZING! (as always, but even more so) I am so proud of you and am now thinking up my own RIP ritual... Love ya hun! XOXO
ADeadLittleGirl 2 years ago
Yes, yes yes!!! Love you too honey
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
vogue..
lhsdixiedoll 2 years ago
needs to be buried... however, i didn't have a copy... smile
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago
oh no sorry ..well yes that too..but in france those thin ciggarettes are called vogue haha sorry for the confusion. but while I'm writing I also been meaning to tell you how much you've educated me. I've learned a lot from your channel and I am hopefully more open minded and accepting of people:) I'm not good at explaining things really and tend to ramble like so... lol just thanks for the videos you make and just being you:)
lhsdixiedoll 2 years ago
Ah! here they are called Capris - on the package... Anyhow, thank you so much for sharing with me that I've helped educate you. An open mind is a beautiful thing. You worded yourself well, no worries - I am very appreciative. HUGS
MyOwnStickFigure 2 years ago