I like the dark humor involved, it's rare in the scene. A couple of suggestions. Try adding some laughters & stay light throughout the song. Think Annie Lennox's Keep Young And Beautiful.
The phrasing was a little awkward. Try this. Take note I am no England Profatsor.
thanks for your advice Somethang!
puff is a short story written by WDB in her 12 Black Roses + 1.
her dark humour inspired me to "coat" it with a tune to share with more who would also appreciate. = )
i neither subtracted nor added a single word from WDB's original writing.
shall further explore/experiment with her other works & works of other authors too...
thanks!
waterwood7 3 years ago
I like the dark humor involved, it's rare in the scene. A couple of suggestions. Try adding some laughters & stay light throughout the song. Think Annie Lennox's Keep Young And Beautiful.
The phrasing was a little awkward. Try this. Take note I am no England Profatsor.
She smoked 20 sticks daily
He was a non-smoker
For 15 years, they were in love deeply
'til he died of lung cancer
She then daily smoked 40 sticks
"I'll join you soon... my love"
20 years later, she did.
Still, well done B.Y.!
Somethang 3 years ago