Very well said :) I actually have a box in the garage I need to go through I lost my mom in July n she left me instructions to donate all her clothes to goodwill but I've kept some n a few other things here n there unfortunately we didn't have the same taste in style but I'm having a hard time letting go
my dad is a "information horder" he is constantly buying magazines and keeping junk mail and catalogues from like 10 years ago, its really disgusting and when i talk to him about it he gets EXTREMELY defencive and starts personally attacking me with things that have nothing to do about the clutter. Im convinced nothing will work and ill just have a dumpster come to the house after he dies.
@dave997 Maybe the problem is the way you approach your dad. I mean if you come at him with the attitude that his collection is "disgusting" & only worthy of having a "dumpter" get it "after he dies", then no wonder he doesn`t respond well. I think the issue must be something deeper between the two of you & w/him having to collect these things. Anyway, its his life so I wouldn`t fuss too much over it but you could pt out to him w/the computer he can save all that info online w/out mess.
My mother used to throw my things away without asking. Things I liked! Things I used! Things I had a place for! Now I feel this silly compulsion to hang onto everything. I would love to get a friend to help me declutter but I can't bear to have anyone touch my stuff! I feel like if I could only throw away my emotional clutter, then the rest would follow...
Don't take that guilt trip. Go to our website (see "more info" above) and get support. We have books, CDs, DVDs and on-line classes to help you. Guilt is the WORST reason to save clutter.
Pack Rats feel trapped. Clutter busters feel free. Do whatever it takes to keep clutter out of your life. Your mom is not helping you as she tries to get you to keep everything.
Thanks Rita! Clutter just depresses me. I think I'm a natural tosser, but the guilt-inducing mother and the trash-digging husband make things a bit of a challenge. I do best when everyone's backs are turned and I can load up the car & take a bunch of stuff to Goodwill. :-)
@dustbunnieboo my mom does that too... she would give me things that took up a lot of space as well. She didn't want it but couldn't let go of it and I was the closest person to dump it on without her feeling as guilty for letting it go. I think psychologically it reflects how she treated me... always dumping negate stuff on me through life and I was the scapegoat as well.
I like things in large quantities because I like sorting things. As a kid, I had very little to do because I didn't have friends and I often didn't have electricity. (I'm only 28 years old, mind you.) So, I would occupy my time with memorizing reference books and non-stop list making and book sorting. Now I think I need everything. I've been trying to break myself of this. I threw away the cereal boxes I was keeping in my closet (for "when I might need them") but I still need help. Any advice?
There IS hope. I was the world's greatest Pack Rat. Now I don't have any clutter. I'm a "Recovered Pack Rat". And if I can convert, so can you. Start with realizing your happy memories are in your mind and in your heart, not in those those Christmas cards from people you hardly remember OR from people who send you cards every year ... so why save them?? If you haven't gone through a box and looked at something for the past 5 years, then it's not bringing you ANY memories. (continued)
Pick one box with Christmas cards. Go though it & get rid of MOST of them. Allow yourself to keep 5.If you cannot do that, then get RID of five. Only five. Then- this is important- pay attention over the next few days how you feel. Did the world end? Are you in a deep depression over those tossed-out Christmas cards? Probably not. Once you see that you can get rid of a few cards without your world ending, do it again. Get rid of as many cards as you can, then let me hear from you again.
Dear xiala1980 OK, you know what to do. If you can't get rid of ALL of them, then get rid of a few, pay attention the next few days for how you feel. When you realize your world doesn't end, then see if you can throw out (or I prefer to recycle) the whole batch of papers. All of a sudden, you will hit a point where you can get rid of tons of papers with even looking through them. Life is good.
@ritaemmett IT Is all korrekt and good advise, you have to realize that the actual objects DO NOT hold the memories, thats why you hve a brain ,its smaller- think of this like having a shit load of old vynil ablums vs having an iphone with the same amount of boxes and boxes of music in it in one tiny little place
once u start to purge your things you start to feel better too.
@poosaypirate and luckily, since im good with my hands of the very little things ive got of her jewelry, two small and irrelevant pieces which would have never been used as they were , i was able to transform into something i can wear and work perfectly for me.
When I was growing up, we moved around so much and so quickly that I had never got to keep anything I owned for very long before I had to abandon it. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that I horde certain things. These things are various cards; birthday, Christmas, anniversaries... etc. I also horde books, movies and jewelry. I also have OCD to the point where everything is alphabetized and my food is in my cupboards label facing forward. ... (continued)
Very well said :) I actually have a box in the garage I need to go through I lost my mom in July n she left me instructions to donate all her clothes to goodwill but I've kept some n a few other things here n there unfortunately we didn't have the same taste in style but I'm having a hard time letting go
elijahsmammi2010 2 months ago
my situation was this
my mother died and my family had control over her MANY - and yes precious and valuable belongings,antigues, gold, you name it--
not just junk, so i got none of it.
at the end after the anger and what comes with it,
i learned that if there was something very special, just replace it, really , its the same in spirit she is there
and its much more compressed this way because i only want useful things
poosaypirate 1 year ago
my dad is a "information horder" he is constantly buying magazines and keeping junk mail and catalogues from like 10 years ago, its really disgusting and when i talk to him about it he gets EXTREMELY defencive and starts personally attacking me with things that have nothing to do about the clutter. Im convinced nothing will work and ill just have a dumpster come to the house after he dies.
dave997 1 year ago
@dave997 Maybe the problem is the way you approach your dad. I mean if you come at him with the attitude that his collection is "disgusting" & only worthy of having a "dumpter" get it "after he dies", then no wonder he doesn`t respond well. I think the issue must be something deeper between the two of you & w/him having to collect these things. Anyway, its his life so I wouldn`t fuss too much over it but you could pt out to him w/the computer he can save all that info online w/out mess.
paisleyyama 1 month ago
Comment removed
Aeonian199 1 year ago
My mother used to throw my things away without asking. Things I liked! Things I used! Things I had a place for! Now I feel this silly compulsion to hang onto everything. I would love to get a friend to help me declutter but I can't bear to have anyone touch my stuff! I feel like if I could only throw away my emotional clutter, then the rest would follow...
bubblebuffy 2 years ago
My mother is a pack rat -- turning into a true hoarder -- who tries to 'guilt' me into keeping everything.
dustbunnieboo 2 years ago 2
Don't take that guilt trip. Go to our website (see "more info" above) and get support. We have books, CDs, DVDs and on-line classes to help you. Guilt is the WORST reason to save clutter.
Pack Rats feel trapped. Clutter busters feel free. Do whatever it takes to keep clutter out of your life. Your mom is not helping you as she tries to get you to keep everything.
Warmly,
Rita
ritaemmett 2 years ago 3
Thanks Rita! Clutter just depresses me. I think I'm a natural tosser, but the guilt-inducing mother and the trash-digging husband make things a bit of a challenge. I do best when everyone's backs are turned and I can load up the car & take a bunch of stuff to Goodwill. :-)
dustbunnieboo 2 years ago 4
all you need is one tip
"did I remember this existed? if no, throw it out"
mongrelchild 2 years ago 3
@dustbunnieboo my mom does that too... she would give me things that took up a lot of space as well. She didn't want it but couldn't let go of it and I was the closest person to dump it on without her feeling as guilty for letting it go. I think psychologically it reflects how she treated me... always dumping negate stuff on me through life and I was the scapegoat as well.
sn0wgurl 1 year ago
I like things in large quantities because I like sorting things. As a kid, I had very little to do because I didn't have friends and I often didn't have electricity. (I'm only 28 years old, mind you.) So, I would occupy my time with memorizing reference books and non-stop list making and book sorting. Now I think I need everything. I've been trying to break myself of this. I threw away the cereal boxes I was keeping in my closet (for "when I might need them") but I still need help. Any advice?
xiala1980 3 years ago
There IS hope. I was the world's greatest Pack Rat. Now I don't have any clutter. I'm a "Recovered Pack Rat". And if I can convert, so can you. Start with realizing your happy memories are in your mind and in your heart, not in those those Christmas cards from people you hardly remember OR from people who send you cards every year ... so why save them?? If you haven't gone through a box and looked at something for the past 5 years, then it's not bringing you ANY memories. (continued)
ritaemmett 3 years ago
Pick one box with Christmas cards. Go though it & get rid of MOST of them. Allow yourself to keep 5.If you cannot do that, then get RID of five. Only five. Then- this is important- pay attention over the next few days how you feel. Did the world end? Are you in a deep depression over those tossed-out Christmas cards? Probably not. Once you see that you can get rid of a few cards without your world ending, do it again. Get rid of as many cards as you can, then let me hear from you again.
Rita
ritaemmett 3 years ago
I will certainly try that. I'm also going to try that with my school papers from the 7th grade. Yeah. I'm serious.
xiala1980 3 years ago
Dear xiala1980 OK, you know what to do. If you can't get rid of ALL of them, then get rid of a few, pay attention the next few days for how you feel. When you realize your world doesn't end, then see if you can throw out (or I prefer to recycle) the whole batch of papers. All of a sudden, you will hit a point where you can get rid of tons of papers with even looking through them. Life is good.
Warmly,
Rita
ritaemmett 3 years ago
@ritaemmett IT Is all korrekt and good advise, you have to realize that the actual objects DO NOT hold the memories, thats why you hve a brain ,its smaller- think of this like having a shit load of old vynil ablums vs having an iphone with the same amount of boxes and boxes of music in it in one tiny little place
once u start to purge your things you start to feel better too.
poosaypirate 1 year ago
@poosaypirate and luckily, since im good with my hands of the very little things ive got of her jewelry, two small and irrelevant pieces which would have never been used as they were , i was able to transform into something i can wear and work perfectly for me.
the moral here is
life is not so bad guys
poosaypirate 1 year ago
When I was growing up, we moved around so much and so quickly that I had never got to keep anything I owned for very long before I had to abandon it. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that I horde certain things. These things are various cards; birthday, Christmas, anniversaries... etc. I also horde books, movies and jewelry. I also have OCD to the point where everything is alphabetized and my food is in my cupboards label facing forward. ... (continued)
xiala1980 3 years ago