I'm married and we put our money together. We are one, it's not his money or my money it's all our money. However, I handle the finances, pay the bills, budget, and track both of our spending. I think it's smarter financially to pool your resources, because it helps with building weath. Also, my husband isn't going to have a separate account spending all his/our hard earned money on nonsense! Never that!
I agree with Ateya about having an account 4 the bills and the other half of the money on the side if things were 2 go south. Because one of the causes of divorce is because of money issues. I'm 22 years old & I'm not married, but if I was in a marriage where I made more money than my husband, I would not want 2 put myself in that predicament. I would not want 2 marry 4 anything else except 4 love.
i hear but a marriage is the joining of two individuals becoming one its fine to have something for a rainy day but ur husband should kno about it as far as him possibly turning into somethn u didnt c n the begining ladies and gentelman lets do r homework on r mates b4 we tie the knot...
Im married. I've been with my husband almost 7 yrs. My money is mine and his is his. We split all the HOUSE bills 50/50. Our own bills are our OWN BILLS like phones, gym memberships or whatever. If I need money from him, I'll ask. If he needs money he'll ask and we have no prob wit that. It just works! You DO NOT HAVE TO put your money together! and NO IT WILL NOT cause problems!!!! Unless one person is BROKE! In that case GET A JOB DAMN IT!! LOL!
I agree ateya. Never put all of your money with your spouse. Either one of you could easily spend the other half's money in the joint account. THe only account the two should have is an account for bills.
I agree with you, I have been married for almost 2 years and we have different accounts and that is because he his very careless with money and he tends to blow money even my money sometimes.
Being from Chicago and witnessing this type of tragedy on a daily basis, is almost numbing. We have lost hundreds of students in the chicago area for the past 2 or 3 years now due to senseless acts of violence. It's a shame really. We are losing so many of our babies at a fast rate that the police have almost just completely given up it seems. I just will continue to pray and march for the lives of our children.
a marriage is a 50/50 thing. if it's not a 40/60 or 80/20. even in a marriage, your money is should be discussed and you both should agree on one thing and not have any doubts. that's why talking about things is best. don't rush onto this marriage disagreeing with each other even if you're doing the right thing. plus it an't ur money, it's gods money cus he blessed you with it.
Ok Im looking at this from a YES and NO point of view. No from the YES point of you, whe n you enter into a marriage, you do give up the "I/MINE" for "WE/OUR". However, if you know your partner is irresponsible then you may want to rethink the whole joining thing. Its all about knowing your partner. I like the idea of having a joint account for BILLS...but still having your OWN. Look at Jon..Kate and dem 8...lol
i feel that if you make the mony its yours regardless of who is the breadwinner. i feel if one akes more then the other then find a way to meet eachother halfway. one account only brings trouble. if i put in 50 and u put in 10 and u want to buy somethin thats 25 you cant simple as that unless we both consent and i doubt that married couples always consent to the others spending habits..all that said..SEPERATE ACCOUNTS PLZZ
Intuition is there for a reason and if she feels in her heart of hearts that it is a bad idea, she SHOULDN'T join the accounts. That being said, this is a trust issue which CANNOT be ignored. I agree with those who say that marital AND financial counseling is in order before the wedding. Invest in the hard talks NOW!!! Even if she decides to ignore the counseling advice(which would be unfortunate for her in the long run) she should not go against her intuition and join the accounts.
I have been married for 2yrs and I do agree to have an account for bills in addition to each of there own. They do not know how each of there spending habits are. Plus he should want her to have her own money if he suppose to be the head of the house and she should not want for anything. Always go with your first thought it's there for a reason. I wouldn't do it like you said I have seen too many people gone thru the same mistakes. If history doesn't teach us nothing will.
Always have a seperate safety deposit box and bank account you can run to just in case 'some sh*t hits the fan'. I'm only 18 but I've seen this too many times
If she doesnt like the way he manages his money and doesnt trust him, she might as well hang it up rather than going thru the divorce later. In my family, I've seen more women with money managing problems and the men having to clean up the mess. I just say if there are any, pay attention to those warning signs!
This topic for me is not clear cut. Here's why i say so, a lot of women see bad habits in men and marry them anyway and then when things go sour they are trying to figure out what happend. 2. People dont pay attention to a prospect's spending habits b4 marrying them. If u dont like the way they handle it now, u wont like the way they handle it when ur married, so save yourself the headache, move on. 3. People are so triflin. If he was a millionaire, u'd be joint accounts all the way.
I belive that if you are getting married you are suppose to be sharing your life together share your life, if she is have problems joining accounts now then perhaps she already has suspects or has a problem now. If she wants to start a rainy day savings on the side fine, people do that all the time, but she should not be having these trust issues this early. I totally agree with pre-marital counseling, of course I feel that all couples should do that.
Tduffjackson if I were married I wouldn't have joint accounts either, always be prepared for the unknown. God forbid the marriage goes sour or he wants to flip out, empties the account and leaves my behind high and dry what would I do at that point? My background is both Caribbean and Southern and I was always told when I was a child not to have joint accounts, that's the way I was raised!!
I totally agree with jmailj's comment. I would also suggest premarital counseling and FULL disclosure of each person's financial situation prior to getting married. I believe married couples should share joing accounts. There will be no growth if you try to remain separate. Trust God and each other. If you can't do that, it may not be time to get married.
TRUST is a big key in a Marriage..so having a joint account is sumthing i would do...Smart is also A Big key in a Marriage so i will be smart enough to have a separate account because things do happen and if so i will always have a back up....just my opinion
I have always heard that the love of money is the root to all evil. So, therefore if your partner loves you then money should not be a problem. When one person earns significantly more than the other, then situations such as these often arise. Therefore it is important to marry someone in which you are equally yoked with (I know I am using this out of context--because this mean similar spiritually). Now a days you can't afford to gamble your money with these undependable people.
I'm married and I have a child from my previous marriage as well as one with my husband. I always used my older son as an excuse not to combine my money with my husband's. But God has placed on my heart that I need to put my trust in Him.. not in my husband. So I say combine the money and trust that God will take care of you. If you think it's unwise to combine your money with this man, you shouldn't marry him. Just my 2 cents.
you should have 1. bill account together 2. one "life savings account ( for goals trips etc.) and then separate so you still have some independence. I will minimize the micromanagement that goes on in marriages.
I have been married for a year and at first my husband and I were having problems about the money being put into one account, but once we figuered out what was best it worked. We now have two joint accounts one for bills and one for our savings together if there is something that we need and then we also have seperate accounts for ourselves.
My husband and I have been happily married for 2 1/2 years. We have one joint account that the same amount of money from each of our checks are directed deposited into each week for the future. All the rest of our money is separate. It's just easier that way. As long as the bills get paid, I don't see anything wrong with keeping the money separate. It's too stressful to dump all the money in one pot.
allways separate money,and one account together to pay the bills.I live in europe,i have one friend(man),he married 5 years ago,isaid:separate your money",but he told me very angry,he wont,couse he loves his wife,and he trusted her.now they are divorced,no childrens,they lived in my friend´s house,when separated,she kept the house becouse "she deserved it",she said,she stole all his money,she didnt work or payed for the house,now my friend says:you had the reason,i should have separate money.
Most definitly not. I have a friend whos husband is leaving her, but what is messed up is he took their savings of 100, 000 in a separate account in a different country so, I definitly think that as a woman you should always be secure in yourself before you go out and get married and definitly no combining money.
Separate accounts and then a joint account for bills. It keeps the peace....I see it all the time as a wedding planner...A joint savings is cool too, if you are saving for a house etc...but you should agree to put the same amount in each paycheck, so if anything does happen, you can split it down the middle, no questions asked. But ALWAYS have at least a savings account of your own!
Ateyaaa I am married and I believe each to its own because it does work for everybody like that .Well me and my husband have talked about it but our spending habits are different I like to save and my husband love to spend spend spend and it had got bad for awhile so I think that if it works for you do it but me and my husband have separate accounts and it works for us
I think that they should open a new account for the both of them but she should ask either her mom or a good friend to open a nest egg account for her in their name just in case the marriage doesn't work. That way she doesn't have to split that with her husband cause it's not in her name.
This is what my brother did..he had an account in my mother's name. She always told both of us to keep a separate account. When he got a divorce sister in law didn't get any...she took everything else but not his "starting over" money.
I agree, Ateya! I think that it is not selfish, but sensible for each spouse to have their own accounts in addition to a joint account. I think that the joint account should be for things like the mortgage, bills, children's expenses, and things that benefit the whole family. I think separate accounts should be for like shopping, personal expenses, rainy day money, basically things that are more personal and only benefit that spouse.
No way I know people married for 30 years. Their relationships were great but one day the old man spots a young girl. The gold digger will take him for his money. Some have left their wife for younger females. So for me I say control your own money. Control his money to because there are tons of temptations out there for our men.
If you have 2 have seperate accounts then u don't trust each other,which means u have nothing 2 bank on! I have a responsible husband and n turn I'm responsible. If he's a spender and u're not, then u shouldn't get married! There's nothing anyone can sell me that's worth not having harmony n my home. A real man wont' take from u or yr kids & it's sad that people just don't love the way that they should. LOVE is an action word and if done the right way pays the bills AND leaves enough for extras!
Money for personal expenses should be put in separate accounts while money for community property such as the home, and bills. Your personal account is your business and I feel you should not have to even tell your husband that you have one.
oh...1 more thing...in my opinion, there is no not a need for a joint account for bills when they can be split 50/50 . The average couple (whatever that is lmao) knows what their bills run them a month. Take that and divide it by two each month and there u have it. you write your checks and i will write mine. no need for money convo's when u knw wht you're paying in advance. BINGO! LOL Someone mentioned going out to dinner...who pays? on credit card...which is already averaged in the bills!
Seperate is fine. I have been married for 6 years and this works perfectly well for us..When you get married older in life (over 35) both are usually established with their own accounts, propert,y car, 401K and you will find that it just makes more sense
SEPARATE! Yes, that is the answer! If both husband and wife know what needs to be paid and they know what portion they are suppose to pay, then they need to not F*ck around (excuse my french lol) and PAY IT! As long as the bills are paid, everything else is your business. BUT...on a wise note: atleast have your name on each other's accounts for legal purposes. No need to exchange ATM cards or none of that foolishness. Money causes many arguments. Do what ur suppose to do ONLY- PERIOD!!!
I am a newly wed! Just got married in July 09 and upon my husband and I discussing the accounts, He encouraged me to keep my accounts and open a joint account for us at a different bank. Now he chooses to deposit ALL of his money in our joint account that we use together. He suggested that the purpose of doing things this way is for US to building our lives together! I LOVE IT, and highly recommend having some kind of savings for BOTH.
My mother is a trip her money goes into her own account for herself. My father's and her account all his money goes into their account. It depends GREATLY on what type of husband she has. Me personally I would do it seperately because some of the mess I heard men do behind their wives back it is a shame. Men getting AIDS and not telling their wives. Sorry but women need to be in control of the men money.
Oh my apologies Im guessing my comment offended you in some way Ateya. I was actually just responding to the persons question and sharing my opinion thought that was what was asked. Nonetheless its all love =) God bless
I feel like if u cant trust him with ur heart, damn sure dont trust him with ur money! However, if u can trust him trust him 100% Also make sure is IS NOT suffering financially because of piss poor money habits. That could endanger you and your credit.
I have been there and done that...Its a no go! Lesson learned separate accounts work better! Sure have a joint for bills or for what ever goal you are trying to meet but always, always ALWAYS!!!!! Have your own...
im engaged... i think a couple should have one joint account. maybe bcuz my fiance is great with money (so far lol) and im pretty good as well. and i trust he would never leave me with nothin. thats not his character at all! its all about knowin your man.
I'm not married but I was always taught and have even heard from professionals to have a me, he, and we account... The we of coarse is for bills, vacations, emergencies, etc
When II first got married DH and I put our money together.. It didn't take me long to see I was much more financially responsible that he is. It doesn't take me long to learn we seperated accounts..
I agree with you each person should have a personall account. then there should be a jiont accoutn for jiont expenses. Although with that you should know your mates spending and budgeting habits so you can both monitor the joint account
There is nothing wrong with having joint accounts. My situation taught me a valuable lesson. If one spouse is dishonest or owes money, ask yourself a question...!
Agreed. We have been together a LONG time. I have endured a lot of mountains and valleys.Things are a lot better now, but during the early years, oh boy! I put up with a lot of crap from him, but I gave him a lot of chances. At first he was very sneaky and secretive. He figured, at the time, that his money was HIS! He sees things a lot differently now. He has grown up and matured, because I gave him a chance. Sometimes people can change. It all depends on if we want to wait and for how long.
It was then that I discovered not only was my husband not putting his share in, but he was taking out what I had put in! When I approached him, his answer was a stupid one. I went to the bank the next day and canceled the account! This was years ago! We needed to save this money to get another place to move to at the time and I felt hurt and cheated! We opened another account together about 3 years ago, but had to close it because he owed money and they were taking out what I was putting in.
Here is my personal situation concerning this issue:
My husband and I had a joint account...years ago! We BOTH agreed to put $200 EACH in the account a month. At the time we needed a place to move to. Well, I was putting my share in the account, but I found out later that he was not living up to his share. I had put at least $800 in the account. I went to the bank to withdraw $20. And guess what, I only had $2.47 in the account. I went inside the bank to get a statement.
One more thing...if that couple does not feel like they trust their spouse to have a seperate account, then they should not get married in the first place!
I with you Ateya, 3 accounts 1 joint and separate ones for each person. This allows if anything were to happen each person has some sort of credit history. Nothing last forever nowadays, so think of it as a form of insurance. A another point is not everybody is financially compatible.
One account together and each a individual account...I am married and me and my husband do this, it works just fine. The reason why is because you never want to lose yourself in your marriage and sometimes you would want to do something special for yourself or to have that extra security if something does not work out and you are left holding the bag! And in order to take care of someone else, u have to take care of YOU first...and you will keep your sanity! lol :)
I am single and recently had this talk with a married girlfriend. She supports having a joint account. Money issues can be a big problem in marriages. I believe that both should have their own separate accounts and have a joint one for bills, vacations, major purchases etc. There is nothing wrong with having your own to splurge a little. I don't want to feel restricted to spend money that I worked hard for. As long as the household obligations are met this should not be an issue.
i'm with you ateyaaa i'm with you on this 100% me nad my bf have had the marriagetalkbecause we do want to get married and we both want to do a joint acct. for bills and have money for our selves just in case. i think it has nothin to do with trust , i think it's all about being prepared for the worst. because joint acct. all the way doesn't work for every marriage every marriage is different.
I believe that a married couple should have a joint account. It's called trust. I mean, no person is perfect, but you should trust each other enough that you know that neither one of you would withdrawal all or a large amount of the money without consulting the other spouse first. My parents have been married for 35 years, and have always had the same bank account. This was when they were both working, and now that my mother is retired.
Answer: Antinuptual can be written anyway you like. For instance it can specify that the only thing that will remain seperate in the marraige would be financial. This can include or exclude assets, jewelry, bank accounts, rent from land, however the couple would like it. It can just say we will keep all accounts seperate except for one account which will be used to ..... pay bills or whatever the couple decides. Pre nup not just for the rich.
I concur! I absolutely believe that there should be SOME money joined for bills or for the sake of saving for a purchase (ie., house, car, vacation). Aside from the fact that he could lose his mind and clean out the account, you don't know what else he has going on with him (ie., owing back taxes). Besides, I don't want him knowing about EVERY purchase I make. He doesn't need to keep that close a watch on my mula!
anything could happen she may want to leave and he doesn't want her to or other issues like gambling and drugs. never do that people dont care anymore
a marraige is 100% and if you can't give that you should not be getting married. Some people will trust complete strangers with thier kids, but they will not trust the person they vow to share thier life, with thier money. If from the start i can't trust you completely, we should not be talking marriage. or you can lye to your self and get married anyway.
I could not have said it any better. Maybe she should not marry this man if she does not love him enough to trust him 100%. I bet if he knew how she felt it would hurt . What if she had no money and he did. Would she still want separate accounts?? I thought marriage was about two people becoming one?
Also, I have friends who are married who have separate accounts, and I hate hearing them fight over every little thing. We were all at the store together and she threw some M&Ms on a pile of groceries, and he threw them off and said, "You get that with your debit card, I'm not going to pay for your candy." I almost punched him in the face. That isn't a marriage I would ever, ever want to be in - how would that feel? Terrible. Makes me sad.
That is the most petty thing I have heard. I can't imagine being bothered with that guy. When they go out to eat does he make her pay for her own meal!!?? That is ridiculous.
Everything you have saved BEFORE the wedding is yours. You keep that in a separate account for life. And you get a prenup to protect it.
The day of the wedding, your income - the money you earn - goes into the same pot. You can take money out of that pot in equal amounts and put it in your separate savings accounts. But marriages can't thrive without throwing yourself together into life.
I agree with you ateyaa. When you get married, i believe that you should have separate accounts. You can create a joint account together, where you guys can start to save together. But you should both have an account of your own on the side as well.
I agree with you, if and when I marry, there should be one account for the BILLS that husband and wife should contribute to. However, I am an independent woman, and to me there is nothing wrong in having your own separate account. Also, my prayers go out to the family who lost their son.
omggg i watch that video..that doesnt make any sense..i really cried..im in new york an we see this everyday....the young are dying young.i lost 6 friends to gang violence.. and none of them were above the age of 18..it hurts
Honestly I think when marriage ends money is the least of the things lost. Those of us who have come from a divorced home can vouch for this I mean did it matter that mama had some money stashed on the side when daddy walk out on the family. Not one bit. Ive been married 5 years He works I stay home with out sons. But our money has ALWAYS been OUR money even when I was working. Don't start a marriage preparing for if he/she leaves. If thats not setting up for failure I dont know what is?
I grew up in that same Chicago neighborhood back in the 60's and 70's and yes it hurt me terribly when I saw the video of the brutal attack on Darrion.
On to the marriage topic, I have been married for 20 years and we have 3 accounts his/hers/ours. He pays all the bills except my our son's tuition, my car note and the cable bill. I know I'm fortunate to have an old fashion guys who still wants to pay everything but I love it!! He was raised this way, his mom never worked. I work PT as a nurse.
I don't understand why would you marry a man you can't trust? I it sad you are marrying just to have a man. I have been married over 20 yrs and I married a man I can trust and love. If you can't trust him now don't marry until you can trust him, marriage will not make your situation better.
Let me paint a CLEAR PICTURE....ok..good example. Bernard Madoff. Remember him. Yes the Ponzi Scheme guy. Look how many people TRUSTED this man. And his wife married him...why? Cause she THOUGHT he can be trusted. So what does he do??? STEAL everyone's money, lying about investing it, and they have what....NOTHING!!! Thats all Im saying...make sure you are covered. Have some on the side. He was a trusted man until he got greedy...it happens people...
Ateeya I say this I was married and I had to get my own account because it caused too much problems I always had to produce reciepts and I got tired of it. Biblically speaking what belongs to your husband belongs to the wife also. If possible have a joint account but she should be free to have her own. I was like to hell with that give me the bills which we share and I will pay mine and that worked for us.
i think it definitely depends on the couple and what they agree to. as for me and my house: we have a bill account and a savings account for vacations and family emergency trips together. everything else is our personal money to spend however we choose. it works out well for us.
Congrats on the Marriage!!! I would like to say that I think their should be four accounts. I believe that a man should bring his check home to his wife and vice versa. HOWEVER, i think there should be a joint household expense and a household savings account for bills, food, children etc. Then there should be two seperate or individual accounts to use as you please and at you own discretion without having to consult your husband or wife before removing funds.
Perhaps their should be an agreement where both parties for example direct deposit 80% (or whatever) into the family or joint account and the rest into individual accounts. By the way, im 23 and non married...as of yet lol :).
ps. if you know your mate has some type of money management issues and you believe they might steal money from you...you might want to put a little extra up...but i would suggest that one re-evaluates or reconsider the marriage
Each couple and situation is different but I would love to share what I do. I've been married for 8 1/2 years and my husband and I have separate accounts. BUT we add our money together first, pay bills, save and THEN split the difference and keep our 'allowances' in separate bank accounts. I must admit my husband is better at managing money; however, I enjoy my sense of independance with my own account. So it works out for us and I'm very happy about it.
I think a joint account can be established after they're married. Any money that was made before the actual marriage should be theirs and theirs alone. Any money earned after the marriage should be combined to a certain degree. Maybe by dividing their payroll in thirds and putting a third in a household checking account, a third in a household savings account, and the last third in their "personal" accounts established before the marriage. This is just may opinion!
First off I wanna say congratulations to the young lady, marriage is a beautiful thing!!!!! I really believe it's whatever the couple agrees on what works for them. I am 22, my husband is 25 and we have been married for a year and a half. We only have seperate accounts and it works for us. We have an understanding as to who will pay what bill and when we go out it's whomever gets their card out first that pays, or unless one of us just volunteers to pay. But it really just depends on the couple!
My husband and I have always had separate accounts, we have been happily married for 15 years. If one wants to commingle funds and the other doesn't, they shld both keep a separate account and one account together for bills. I've been a stay at home mom for 9 years and this still has not been a problem. He pays me and I place my funds in "my account" and I use one credit card that all my charges are placed on and he pays the bill. This may not work for everyone, but it definitely works for us.
i think if it was me i would have an account with my spouse however i would have my own account on the side. i wouldnt put all my money in a account with my husband. also they do have account where your can put money in the account however in order to take money out of the account with individuals need to be present.......... oh and your hair is looking fly Mama
i agree with you have one joint account for together purchases, bills, and whatever else but they both should keep their own seperate accounts for like spending and what not cause if someone wants to shop or whatever and it all comes out of one account someone is going to get mad about spending the money senslessly saying do that with your own money!! so yes seperate and one joint. Even though you are as one they are still individuals.
i'm also about to get married and we just had a talk about it. we had the same thoughts about money and landed on your opinion. absolutely nothing to complain about it! you don't know what happens in future.
Hey Ateyaaa! I'm with you all the way on this one! Plain and simple...one account for bills...and each one have their own separate account!...there is nothing wrong with that! However, if a joint account works for you...then go for it!
As a married woman for 9 years, I would have to agree with your aunt!. We are one and this was not from the words of my mouth, but of God's. Money is the route of all evil and it will destroy marriages or people in general. But, there must be a solid foundation to begin with or else you are giving money the power to destroy. God has to come first, then love and trust. It's not your battle to fight if anything goes wrong, as long as you trust in God. This is my belief - it has not failed me yet.
hi ateyaa im a new subscriber i wanted to comment on the video i am married my husband and i have seperate accounts he pays all the bills he dont pressure me at all about having account together and everything is still equal between us we have no problems about having a seperate account,maybe if he stressing her about so much just keep majority of her money in her accont and put a little in joint account too keep the peace. i love you videos girl!!!
Me and my husband have been married for about 3 years now. We have done exactly as you said: One account that is held jointly that we pay bills from and then we both have our own seperate accounts. I too have seen many men and women flip out and clean out accounts and disappear. Although I trust my husband and he trusts me...sometimes you really just don't know what a person is capable of. We have done great with our method and see no reason to change it.
the thing today is that people get married, planning for a divorce. i'm 24, married, and how me and my husband do is we have a joint account that we pay our bills out of, and then we each have our own savings account. we HAVE to put a certain amount in the joint account to cover bills and expenses for our daughter, and we can put whatever in our savings... it works for us, and we just pray together, because divorce and separating is not something i look forward to!
First I am single and 34 so I am use to seeing about me, doing for me, and managing my money. I don't know if that is something God has to work on me. I do not want to join my money with my husband, I would have my account, his account, and an account with both names on it for bills. You should talk about this though before you get married. The main things couples fight about is money..and you don't have to be married to know this.
When u set up separate accounts, you are already planning for the failing of the marriage. I've been married for 24 years sharing our checking and savings account. {Helps to know what hes doing too}. Unless she sees signs to get her an account on the side, share the money! Give a good trusting marriage a chance.
i partly disagree with your opinion. Wouln't you agree that it happens TOO MANY times, not saying that hers is going to fail but marriage does involve making compromised decisions so that BOTH can be happy.we all make mistakes so its ALWAYS best to have something to fall back on in times of need. I dont think its about not trusting, but setting up a financial safety net that could in actual fact help both of them in sitituations where either has caused the problem. am i making sense?
Ateya, I saw the video on mediatakeout but I didn't know what I was watching. When it showed the boys killing him, I jumped from the computer,cried, and I started shaking. They said they arrested 4 teens ,with one admit to directly thowing a blow. I pray everyday for protection over all because people will kill you without thought. Just pray and pray for those kids that are in the streets and I know Lil Derion is sitting with God and not having to suffer anymore. Rest Under God's Arm..
In my opinion, 60% of the money should be put together and the other 30% of each of your pay in individual retirement accounts. The last 10% should be for individual/personal uses. That is what works for my husband and I, we have been married for 15 years and never had any issues with money. Thank you Jesus.
Most of the money should be together. That can be for bills, investments, etc. - whetever they do as a couple. Each person should also have a separate account so they can buy personal stuff without overdrawing the main account. The personal accounts don't need to be secret. I never understood the "secret stash" thing. If you don't trust dude, you don't need to marry him. This has worked for my parents for 40 years. They each know about the others personal acct but don't have access to them.
I agree with you ateyyaaa two seperate accounts it the best i seen a lifetime movie where the man was acting up and the wife cleaned his account out and moved on with her life
I feel that two accounts is the best option. My husband and I have a checking and a saving account that we share. With this account we pay bills and put money aside for vacation or any sudden emergency that might come up. In our indv checking & saving acct we buy extra things for ourself. By doing this we are aware of where our money is and neither one of us can complain to the other about buying things for ourself.
I just watched that video. and i started to cry cause that got to me. i dnt understand why our teens cant just act like they have some damn sense. Like to hear the crys from his friends tellin him to get up. I just started to cry even more...lord...
ok and me and my b'f have separated accts, it doesnt bother us. but were gonna get one for bills.
Me and my fiance (2 yrs) have been sharing a joint account for 11 years and we've never had problems with money... so far has us not giving 100%. I now have a second job and opened a account separately that i put that whole check in that account... If you don't feel having a joint account... DON'T! Open a joint account and put in a agreed amount into that account for bills. And open that account at a different bank from yours we dont want a tyler perry situations
Money is one of the quickest ways to break up a relationship! I was married (my husband passed 9 years ago) and we had a joint account, but I also had a savings and a checking account that I came into the relationship with! My grandmother always told me not to ever tell a man everything you have! Because he's probably keeping his whether he tells you or not...so why not make it a fair playing field and do the same.
My boyfriend and I have a joint account that we each out a little money in for bills or to save for vacation, but I also have my own bank account as well does he. It works best...the bills get paid, and we each have our *just in case* money.
i THiNK iTS A GOOD iDEA TO HAVE SOME JUST iN CASE MONEY... THATS GOOD FOR EVERYONE... AND i THiNK.. THAT iF YU ALREADY HAVE A PERSONAL ACCOUNT.. YU SHOULD KEEP iT.. AND ONCE YU GET MARRiED YU GET ONE TOGETHER. i WOULD HAVE TO AGREE.. i'VE SEEN MEN FLiP AND TAKE EVERYTHiNG THEN COME TO FiND OUT THEY HAD OTHER ACCOUNTS ANYWAYS...
I am praying for the young gentleman Derrions and his family ,and about that married status about them accounts yes separate accounts, please do because the money she work hard for he can't touch ,and for the money he make she can't touch ,I am married been married for 8yrs and we do have different accounts.
My prayers go out to the Derrions family as well, I couldn't even watch the video..Just awful! My husband and I have a checking account for bills, we have a joint savings account, he has his own "fun money" and I have my own "fun money". The reason being, I don't want us to keep trying to balance our account trying to figure out who took what out, and have checks bouncing everywhere. She needs to come up off of that mess, she sounds as if she wants to be married and keep the single life.
So I think have an emergency fund, a joint account for bills for checking, and a joint savings for fun things you do together, separate accounts for personal money. voilaaaaa lol
(2) Do they come from families of divorce? (3) Are they both in agreement with their style and quality of life? (4) Are they both conscious about needless spending? (5) Can they discuss money matters in a rational conversation. Of course, their are many things to consider before marrying that person, let a lone joining bank accounts. since lack of commitment, lack of communication between spouses and the Inability to manage or resolve conflicts are reasons for Divorce.
Praying for that poor boy and his family. It was a truly disgusting and unecessary thing to happen. RIP xx As for the money problem, I agree with Ateya. You have a seperate account for your bills and then you each have your own money. You can have a joint savings account for holidays but a woman should always have something of her own just in case...
Combining both incomes into a single account I think will be a personal decision. When I was married, my husband would give over his paycheck and deposited it into my checking/saving account. I was the trustworthy one and solely my interest was the interest of my family (husband and son) only. Therefore, depleting the account wasn't a concern of my husband. Also, there are extenuating circumstance that both parties need to look at. (1) Have either of them been Divorce? Continued
whatever happened to seperate but equal...lol....no....relationships are too unstable nowadays......and there is nothing wrong with wanting to make sure you are secure....i'm for whatever is going to give me a piece of mind....i have been in a situation where i was bringing the majority to the table and thats fine....but when i was laid off....his attitude changed quickly about the finances...he couldn't be bothered with taking care of the things i used to handle...so i say NO to the joint acct.
I wouldn't do it again! I am married and my husband and me are seperated now. Of course the money wasn't the biggest issue and it didn't lead to the seperation BUT it was an issue. I like spending my money and not having anybody telling me what and how much I can and can't spend it on. I work 8hrs a day so I feel like its my right to do what I feel is right with the money IF I can pay my bills and feed my son. Everybody should have their on acct open up a shared on for bills and maybe savings!
Don't do it!!! It is definitly ok to do when ur married...I actually think thats the only time to do something like that. My friend boyfriend was on crack and stealing money to do it and she aint know for days...But my dad and his girl have there own accounts and then a shared account. Please do not do it while ur single only when ur married. Your not one while ur single only when ur married. Me and my husband have the same account there is no seperation but again I'm MARRIED!!!
1st I wanna say my prayers go out to Derrions family. that is such a tragedy what happened. The video is heartbreaking.
My view on joint accounts are this: keep your accounts how they are before you got married! Marriage shouldn't be about money so it shouldn't matter anyways. There should already be an agreement on how bills will be paid so that is not an excuse. I am not married and I don't care how much money is in my mans account as long as he pays the bills he agreed to!
If your name is attach to the joint and seperate account as well theyre both at the same bank. The bank can start subtracting from your seperate account. I've seen that happened. Married couples be aware, just because yall share the same last name, not everything has to be combined.
I honestly I believe that you need to do whats best for your relationship. Some people can have joint accounts and it works for them wonderfully and then you have the other ones, that their spouse just take, take, take. I believe this become an issue if you dont know your spouse spending habit. Me personally I would get a joint account for households things. I would get another account seperately at a different bank. People dont realize that banks can draw money out of your seperate count.
My husband and I set up a joint account for bills and a joint savings account (for vacations, trips, etc.). We still have our separate personal checking and savings account. We are 100% open with each other about our finances and if he doesn't have it - I got him and if I don't have it - he got me, but everything is not joined. It's really a personal opinion. Do what works for your relationship - but we don't think it's necessary for us. And we haven't had any money issues yet!!!
I'm not sure I'd have a problem with separate accounts. For the 'bills' account, say half of the wife's check and half of the husband's--adjusting for percentage for the household bills. And that should probably be the only rule, really--the HOUSE bills must be settled before individual stuff...
I'm married and money does NOT have to be an issue, Do what ever works for you. Its good to have your own acct. And also a joint account for savings, household needs etc,. There are so many things to you have issues own. And money should NOT be on of them.
I'm not trying to be rude, but money is always an issue. Your thankful that is this hasn't been a problem in your marriage, but it happens. Money is the reason why you go to work, why you live in the house you do. Please dont think that all I do is value money; however, ppl need to be realistic.
Me & my hubby have a joint checking account and our own individual savings account., but mostly because we keep our savings account for our own little fetishes. He likes video games and I like wigs and make up, so it's a win-win!!!!
Well I am in the military and its not the men that spend all the money. Most military wives are young and they spend spend!!! so you can just say that it's a man but you should have rainy day money just in case of anything but two becomes one in God's eyes so the money God allows the marriage to make should be in one account with a savings account.
my husband and I put our money together into one account. now i keep a little bit out of each check just for me( hair, nail shop, etc) but the bulk goes together! we discuss everything and we have been married over three years!
I'm married and we put our money together. We are one, it's not his money or my money it's all our money. However, I handle the finances, pay the bills, budget, and track both of our spending. I think it's smarter financially to pool your resources, because it helps with building weath. Also, my husband isn't going to have a separate account spending all his/our hard earned money on nonsense! Never that!
hk11580 1 year ago
I agree with Ateya about having an account 4 the bills and the other half of the money on the side if things were 2 go south. Because one of the causes of divorce is because of money issues. I'm 22 years old & I'm not married, but if I was in a marriage where I made more money than my husband, I would not want 2 put myself in that predicament. I would not want 2 marry 4 anything else except 4 love.
MissBrooklyn87 1 year ago
Comment removed
QUEENBEE112112 2 years ago
I agree w/ ateya.
Have seperate accounts and one big one for the bills.
SkyAngel247 2 years ago
i hear but a marriage is the joining of two individuals becoming one its fine to have something for a rainy day but ur husband should kno about it as far as him possibly turning into somethn u didnt c n the begining ladies and gentelman lets do r homework on r mates b4 we tie the knot...
byttop90 2 years ago
Im married. I've been with my husband almost 7 yrs. My money is mine and his is his. We split all the HOUSE bills 50/50. Our own bills are our OWN BILLS like phones, gym memberships or whatever. If I need money from him, I'll ask. If he needs money he'll ask and we have no prob wit that. It just works! You DO NOT HAVE TO put your money together! and NO IT WILL NOT cause problems!!!! Unless one person is BROKE! In that case GET A JOB DAMN IT!! LOL!
BabieGizzle04 2 years ago
I agree ateya. Never put all of your money with your spouse. Either one of you could easily spend the other half's money in the joint account. THe only account the two should have is an account for bills.
jannie2004 2 years ago
I agree with you, I have been married for almost 2 years and we have different accounts and that is because he his very careless with money and he tends to blow money even my money sometimes.
I am the one to manage the bills and everything
1182candie 2 years ago
Being from Chicago and witnessing this type of tragedy on a daily basis, is almost numbing. We have lost hundreds of students in the chicago area for the past 2 or 3 years now due to senseless acts of violence. It's a shame really. We are losing so many of our babies at a fast rate that the police have almost just completely given up it seems. I just will continue to pray and march for the lives of our children.
shandifox 2 years ago
a marriage is a 50/50 thing. if it's not a 40/60 or 80/20. even in a marriage, your money is should be discussed and you both should agree on one thing and not have any doubts. that's why talking about things is best. don't rush onto this marriage disagreeing with each other even if you're doing the right thing. plus it an't ur money, it's gods money cus he blessed you with it.
artyimages 2 years ago
Ok Im looking at this from a YES and NO point of view. No from the YES point of you, whe n you enter into a marriage, you do give up the "I/MINE" for "WE/OUR". However, if you know your partner is irresponsible then you may want to rethink the whole joining thing. Its all about knowing your partner. I like the idea of having a joint account for BILLS...but still having your OWN. Look at Jon..Kate and dem 8...lol
andranise 2 years ago
I don't believe in separating money in a marriage... its idiotic and a source of contempt.... it will destroy a marriage.
Trendolyn78 2 years ago
always have a seperate account, you can never trust those dogs.
eritreasunshine 2 years ago
This says lets talk with ateyaaa vII 7.
d35chae90 2 years ago
i feel that if you make the mony its yours regardless of who is the breadwinner. i feel if one akes more then the other then find a way to meet eachother halfway. one account only brings trouble. if i put in 50 and u put in 10 and u want to buy somethin thats 25 you cant simple as that unless we both consent and i doubt that married couples always consent to the others spending habits..all that said..SEPERATE ACCOUNTS PLZZ
mffnbby1 2 years ago
Intuition is there for a reason and if she feels in her heart of hearts that it is a bad idea, she SHOULDN'T join the accounts. That being said, this is a trust issue which CANNOT be ignored. I agree with those who say that marital AND financial counseling is in order before the wedding. Invest in the hard talks NOW!!! Even if she decides to ignore the counseling advice(which would be unfortunate for her in the long run) she should not go against her intuition and join the accounts.
testing4echo 2 years ago
Never point all your money together. that's stupid. One account for bills and separate accounts.
MichyGW 2 years ago 2
Hello Ateya,
I have been married for 2yrs and I do agree to have an account for bills in addition to each of there own. They do not know how each of there spending habits are. Plus he should want her to have her own money if he suppose to be the head of the house and she should not want for anything. Always go with your first thought it's there for a reason. I wouldn't do it like you said I have seen too many people gone thru the same mistakes. If history doesn't teach us nothing will.
mzplayer07 2 years ago
Always have a seperate safety deposit box and bank account you can run to just in case 'some sh*t hits the fan'. I'm only 18 but I've seen this too many times
CitySocialite 2 years ago 2
Such a good topic! With Jon Gosselin emptying Him and Kates joint bank account in the news, it really shows you to watch
CitySocialite 2 years ago
If she doesnt like the way he manages his money and doesnt trust him, she might as well hang it up rather than going thru the divorce later. In my family, I've seen more women with money managing problems and the men having to clean up the mess. I just say if there are any, pay attention to those warning signs!
ashlleey986 2 years ago
This topic for me is not clear cut. Here's why i say so, a lot of women see bad habits in men and marry them anyway and then when things go sour they are trying to figure out what happend. 2. People dont pay attention to a prospect's spending habits b4 marrying them. If u dont like the way they handle it now, u wont like the way they handle it when ur married, so save yourself the headache, move on. 3. People are so triflin. If he was a millionaire, u'd be joint accounts all the way.
ashlleey986 2 years ago 5
I belive that if you are getting married you are suppose to be sharing your life together share your life, if she is have problems joining accounts now then perhaps she already has suspects or has a problem now. If she wants to start a rainy day savings on the side fine, people do that all the time, but she should not be having these trust issues this early. I totally agree with pre-marital counseling, of course I feel that all couples should do that.
zejasione 2 years ago
I've been with my husband for 17yrs and we've never had a joint account and we don't have any plans on joining our accounts.
tduffjackson 2 years ago
Tduffjackson if I were married I wouldn't have joint accounts either, always be prepared for the unknown. God forbid the marriage goes sour or he wants to flip out, empties the account and leaves my behind high and dry what would I do at that point? My background is both Caribbean and Southern and I was always told when I was a child not to have joint accounts, that's the way I was raised!!
tanyatmr 2 years ago
I totally agree with jmailj's comment. I would also suggest premarital counseling and FULL disclosure of each person's financial situation prior to getting married. I believe married couples should share joing accounts. There will be no growth if you try to remain separate. Trust God and each other. If you can't do that, it may not be time to get married.
blkdiamond419 2 years ago
Do what works for you, but if it is causing conflict, there needs to be compromise and understanding on both parts......Just don't keep secrets
JLady590 2 years ago
TRUST is a big key in a Marriage..so having a joint account is sumthing i would do...Smart is also A Big key in a Marriage so i will be smart enough to have a separate account because things do happen and if so i will always have a back up....just my opinion
Reecy812 2 years ago
I have always heard that the love of money is the root to all evil. So, therefore if your partner loves you then money should not be a problem. When one person earns significantly more than the other, then situations such as these often arise. Therefore it is important to marry someone in which you are equally yoked with (I know I am using this out of context--because this mean similar spiritually). Now a days you can't afford to gamble your money with these undependable people.
stewash84 2 years ago
I'm married and I have a child from my previous marriage as well as one with my husband. I always used my older son as an excuse not to combine my money with my husband's. But God has placed on my heart that I need to put my trust in Him.. not in my husband. So I say combine the money and trust that God will take care of you. If you think it's unwise to combine your money with this man, you shouldn't marry him. Just my 2 cents.
jmailj 2 years ago 2
Sounds to me like she doesn't trust him.
marazitad 2 years ago
you should have 1. bill account together 2. one "life savings account ( for goals trips etc.) and then separate so you still have some independence. I will minimize the micromanagement that goes on in marriages.
just a thought
Kickrocksproductions 2 years ago
I have been married for a year and at first my husband and I were having problems about the money being put into one account, but once we figuered out what was best it worked. We now have two joint accounts one for bills and one for our savings together if there is something that we need and then we also have seperate accounts for ourselves.
tnblazin24 2 years ago
My husband and I have been happily married for 2 1/2 years. We have one joint account that the same amount of money from each of our checks are directed deposited into each week for the future. All the rest of our money is separate. It's just easier that way. As long as the bills get paid, I don't see anything wrong with keeping the money separate. It's too stressful to dump all the money in one pot.
Hey Ateya.
sexynik529 2 years ago
My answers short: Just do the separate accounts or even sign a pre-nup if she's worrried.
Lakishia 2 years ago
allways separate money,and one account together to pay the bills.I live in europe,i have one friend(man),he married 5 years ago,isaid:separate your money",but he told me very angry,he wont,couse he loves his wife,and he trusted her.now they are divorced,no childrens,they lived in my friend´s house,when separated,she kept the house becouse "she deserved it",she said,she stole all his money,she didnt work or payed for the house,now my friend says:you had the reason,i should have separate money.
carmicarajo 2 years ago
Most definitly not. I have a friend whos husband is leaving her, but what is messed up is he took their savings of 100, 000 in a separate account in a different country so, I definitly think that as a woman you should always be secure in yourself before you go out and get married and definitly no combining money.
blackdiamondTV24 2 years ago
Separate accounts and then a joint account for bills. It keeps the peace....I see it all the time as a wedding planner...A joint savings is cool too, if you are saving for a house etc...but you should agree to put the same amount in each paycheck, so if anything does happen, you can split it down the middle, no questions asked. But ALWAYS have at least a savings account of your own!
onyxqueen 2 years ago
Ateyaaa I am married and I believe each to its own because it does work for everybody like that .Well me and my husband have talked about it but our spending habits are different I like to save and my husband love to spend spend spend and it had got bad for awhile so I think that if it works for you do it but me and my husband have separate accounts and it works for us
MahoganyLove35 2 years ago
I think that they should open a new account for the both of them but she should ask either her mom or a good friend to open a nest egg account for her in their name just in case the marriage doesn't work. That way she doesn't have to split that with her husband cause it's not in her name.
wisewomen28 2 years ago
This is what my brother did..he had an account in my mother's name. She always told both of us to keep a separate account. When he got a divorce sister in law didn't get any...she took everything else but not his "starting over" money.
tanlikeme 2 years ago
I agree, Ateya! I think that it is not selfish, but sensible for each spouse to have their own accounts in addition to a joint account. I think that the joint account should be for things like the mortgage, bills, children's expenses, and things that benefit the whole family. I think separate accounts should be for like shopping, personal expenses, rainy day money, basically things that are more personal and only benefit that spouse.
Dancergirl448 2 years ago 2
I agree w/Ateyaaa. Two separate accounts and a joint one. Love is blind but not that blind.
nubianangel01 2 years ago
That's what we have and it works well!!!
shampaine22 2 years ago
yeah i think that it depends on the couple but for me..i would have one account for th household..and two separate accounts for personal stuff..
NefetariaY21 2 years ago
You should get SEPERATE ACCOUNTS until you have been married for 10 years.
ksha 2 years ago
No way I know people married for 30 years. Their relationships were great but one day the old man spots a young girl. The gold digger will take him for his money. Some have left their wife for younger females. So for me I say control your own money. Control his money to because there are tons of temptations out there for our men.
Jamaican1980sVideos 2 years ago
If you have 2 have seperate accounts then u don't trust each other,which means u have nothing 2 bank on! I have a responsible husband and n turn I'm responsible. If he's a spender and u're not, then u shouldn't get married! There's nothing anyone can sell me that's worth not having harmony n my home. A real man wont' take from u or yr kids & it's sad that people just don't love the way that they should. LOVE is an action word and if done the right way pays the bills AND leaves enough for extras!
Cozziethree 2 years ago
I think you need both separate and joint accounts
Money for personal expenses should be put in separate accounts while money for community property such as the home, and bills. Your personal account is your business and I feel you should not have to even tell your husband that you have one.
shehasavoice2 2 years ago
S E P A R A T E... I've been married for 6yrs and no disagreement over money.
DamTamFU 2 years ago
oh...1 more thing...in my opinion, there is no not a need for a joint account for bills when they can be split 50/50 . The average couple (whatever that is lmao) knows what their bills run them a month. Take that and divide it by two each month and there u have it. you write your checks and i will write mine. no need for money convo's when u knw wht you're paying in advance. BINGO! LOL Someone mentioned going out to dinner...who pays? on credit card...which is already averaged in the bills!
MAC4daze 2 years ago
Seperate is fine. I have been married for 6 years and this works perfectly well for us..When you get married older in life (over 35) both are usually established with their own accounts, propert,y car, 401K and you will find that it just makes more sense
epd0126 2 years ago
SEPARATE! Yes, that is the answer! If both husband and wife know what needs to be paid and they know what portion they are suppose to pay, then they need to not F*ck around (excuse my french lol) and PAY IT! As long as the bills are paid, everything else is your business. BUT...on a wise note: atleast have your name on each other's accounts for legal purposes. No need to exchange ATM cards or none of that foolishness. Money causes many arguments. Do what ur suppose to do ONLY- PERIOD!!!
MAC4daze 2 years ago
they should keep it separate...i've been married for a 6 years and all i can say is keep it separate!
TakiyahJ2 2 years ago
I am a newly wed! Just got married in July 09 and upon my husband and I discussing the accounts, He encouraged me to keep my accounts and open a joint account for us at a different bank. Now he chooses to deposit ALL of his money in our joint account that we use together. He suggested that the purpose of doing things this way is for US to building our lives together! I LOVE IT, and highly recommend having some kind of savings for BOTH.
anewdawn36 2 years ago
My mother is a trip her money goes into her own account for herself. My father's and her account all his money goes into their account. It depends GREATLY on what type of husband she has. Me personally I would do it seperately because some of the mess I heard men do behind their wives back it is a shame. Men getting AIDS and not telling their wives. Sorry but women need to be in control of the men money.
Jamaican1980sVideos 2 years ago
Oh my apologies Im guessing my comment offended you in some way Ateya. I was actually just responding to the persons question and sharing my opinion thought that was what was asked. Nonetheless its all love =) God bless
ltoomey82 2 years ago
I feel like if u cant trust him with ur heart, damn sure dont trust him with ur money! However, if u can trust him trust him 100% Also make sure is IS NOT suffering financially because of piss poor money habits. That could endanger you and your credit.
darkdonatellah7 2 years ago
I have been there and done that...Its a no go! Lesson learned separate accounts work better! Sure have a joint for bills or for what ever goal you are trying to meet but always, always ALWAYS!!!!! Have your own...
ara781 2 years ago
good topic. i have my acct and my hubby has his. then we have a joint. works for us.
sn- i was sad watching that video of the young boy. I am going to tell my children to RUN
gborodanz 2 years ago
im engaged... i think a couple should have one joint account. maybe bcuz my fiance is great with money (so far lol) and im pretty good as well. and i trust he would never leave me with nothin. thats not his character at all! its all about knowin your man.
peace:)
dreaface214 2 years ago
I am married and I have my own account and he has his own account because he is horrible with money.
brownbelle23 2 years ago
I'm not married but I was always taught and have even heard from professionals to have a me, he, and we account... The we of coarse is for bills, vacations, emergencies, etc
MsAllsmiles 2 years ago
When II first got married DH and I put our money together.. It didn't take me long to see I was much more financially responsible that he is. It doesn't take me long to learn we seperated accounts..
mskissty 2 years ago
All of our accounts are joint but I have a debit card to one and he has a debit card to his and we pay bills out of the joint main account.
DariceHumphries 2 years ago
I agree with you each person should have a personall account. then there should be a jiont accoutn for jiont expenses. Although with that you should know your mates spending and budgeting habits so you can both monitor the joint account
MizRukiya30 2 years ago
There is nothing wrong with having joint accounts. My situation taught me a valuable lesson. If one spouse is dishonest or owes money, ask yourself a question...!
MissaRosa 2 years ago
MissaRosa I would be asking myself if this guy lies and steals my money what else is he doing behind my back, prey tell??
Nanadsyl 2 years ago
Agreed. We have been together a LONG time. I have endured a lot of mountains and valleys.Things are a lot better now, but during the early years, oh boy! I put up with a lot of crap from him, but I gave him a lot of chances. At first he was very sneaky and secretive. He figured, at the time, that his money was HIS! He sees things a lot differently now. He has grown up and matured, because I gave him a chance. Sometimes people can change. It all depends on if we want to wait and for how long.
MissaRosa 2 years ago
It was then that I discovered not only was my husband not putting his share in, but he was taking out what I had put in! When I approached him, his answer was a stupid one. I went to the bank the next day and canceled the account! This was years ago! We needed to save this money to get another place to move to at the time and I felt hurt and cheated! We opened another account together about 3 years ago, but had to close it because he owed money and they were taking out what I was putting in.
MissaRosa 2 years ago
One Account for bills and then the both of you have your own Accounts
58cocopuff 2 years ago
Here is my personal situation concerning this issue:
My husband and I had a joint account...years ago! We BOTH agreed to put $200 EACH in the account a month. At the time we needed a place to move to. Well, I was putting my share in the account, but I found out later that he was not living up to his share. I had put at least $800 in the account. I went to the bank to withdraw $20. And guess what, I only had $2.47 in the account. I went inside the bank to get a statement.
MissaRosa 2 years ago
Yes, two separate and one joint. Your money is your money.
kevinferere 2 years ago
One more thing...if that couple does not feel like they trust their spouse to have a seperate account, then they should not get married in the first place!
SuperOrelia 2 years ago
I with you Ateya, 3 accounts 1 joint and separate ones for each person. This allows if anything were to happen each person has some sort of credit history. Nothing last forever nowadays, so think of it as a form of insurance. A another point is not everybody is financially compatible.
s1mphony 2 years ago
One account together and each a individual account...I am married and me and my husband do this, it works just fine. The reason why is because you never want to lose yourself in your marriage and sometimes you would want to do something special for yourself or to have that extra security if something does not work out and you are left holding the bag! And in order to take care of someone else, u have to take care of YOU first...and you will keep your sanity! lol :)
SuperOrelia 2 years ago
I am single and recently had this talk with a married girlfriend. She supports having a joint account. Money issues can be a big problem in marriages. I believe that both should have their own separate accounts and have a joint one for bills, vacations, major purchases etc. There is nothing wrong with having your own to splurge a little. I don't want to feel restricted to spend money that I worked hard for. As long as the household obligations are met this should not be an issue.
MissAries76 2 years ago
i'm with you ateyaaa i'm with you on this 100% me nad my bf have had the marriagetalkbecause we do want to get married and we both want to do a joint acct. for bills and have money for our selves just in case. i think it has nothin to do with trust , i think it's all about being prepared for the worst. because joint acct. all the way doesn't work for every marriage every marriage is different.
houstonempress86 2 years ago
Disclamier: I'm not married.
I believe that a married couple should have a joint account. It's called trust. I mean, no person is perfect, but you should trust each other enough that you know that neither one of you would withdrawal all or a large amount of the money without consulting the other spouse first. My parents have been married for 35 years, and have always had the same bank account. This was when they were both working, and now that my mother is retired.
PearlfectJourney 2 years ago
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RonJon294 2 years ago
Answer: Antinuptual can be written anyway you like. For instance it can specify that the only thing that will remain seperate in the marraige would be financial. This can include or exclude assets, jewelry, bank accounts, rent from land, however the couple would like it. It can just say we will keep all accounts seperate except for one account which will be used to ..... pay bills or whatever the couple decides. Pre nup not just for the rich.
00Spitfire 2 years ago
I concur! I absolutely believe that there should be SOME money joined for bills or for the sake of saving for a purchase (ie., house, car, vacation). Aside from the fact that he could lose his mind and clean out the account, you don't know what else he has going on with him (ie., owing back taxes). Besides, I don't want him knowing about EVERY purchase I make. He doesn't need to keep that close a watch on my mula!
thegirltolove 2 years ago
anything could happen she may want to leave and he doesn't want her to or other issues like gambling and drugs. never do that people dont care anymore
jessicaschannelbaby 2 years ago
what mines is mines and whats his is mine ;)
Candeebutterfly0401 2 years ago 5
lol
AshleyLaShun2 2 years ago
a marraige is 100% and if you can't give that you should not be getting married. Some people will trust complete strangers with thier kids, but they will not trust the person they vow to share thier life, with thier money. If from the start i can't trust you completely, we should not be talking marriage. or you can lye to your self and get married anyway.
pebblebeach1971 2 years ago 3
I could not have said it any better. Maybe she should not marry this man if she does not love him enough to trust him 100%. I bet if he knew how she felt it would hurt . What if she had no money and he did. Would she still want separate accounts?? I thought marriage was about two people becoming one?
steffiejoe 2 years ago
well put!!!
raiiniie 2 years ago
Also, I have friends who are married who have separate accounts, and I hate hearing them fight over every little thing. We were all at the store together and she threw some M&Ms on a pile of groceries, and he threw them off and said, "You get that with your debit card, I'm not going to pay for your candy." I almost punched him in the face. That isn't a marriage I would ever, ever want to be in - how would that feel? Terrible. Makes me sad.
BrickRoux 2 years ago 4
Now thats so sad...and horrible...
Ateyaaa 2 years ago
mad over M&M's thats just pathetic, selfish, and a stupid mindset.
opt85 2 years ago
That is the most petty thing I have heard. I can't imagine being bothered with that guy. When they go out to eat does he make her pay for her own meal!!?? That is ridiculous.
Nanadsyl 2 years ago
Everything you have saved BEFORE the wedding is yours. You keep that in a separate account for life. And you get a prenup to protect it.
The day of the wedding, your income - the money you earn - goes into the same pot. You can take money out of that pot in equal amounts and put it in your separate savings accounts. But marriages can't thrive without throwing yourself together into life.
BrickRoux 2 years ago
I agree with you ateyaa. When you get married, i believe that you should have separate accounts. You can create a joint account together, where you guys can start to save together. But you should both have an account of your own on the side as well.
misscnr1 2 years ago
I agree with you, if and when I marry, there should be one account for the BILLS that husband and wife should contribute to. However, I am an independent woman, and to me there is nothing wrong in having your own separate account. Also, my prayers go out to the family who lost their son.
alli1245 2 years ago
omggg i watch that video..that doesnt make any sense..i really cried..im in new york an we see this everyday....the young are dying young.i lost 6 friends to gang violence.. and none of them were above the age of 18..it hurts
SiimplyTiiff 2 years ago
Honestly I think when marriage ends money is the least of the things lost. Those of us who have come from a divorced home can vouch for this I mean did it matter that mama had some money stashed on the side when daddy walk out on the family. Not one bit. Ive been married 5 years He works I stay home with out sons. But our money has ALWAYS been OUR money even when I was working. Don't start a marriage preparing for if he/she leaves. If thats not setting up for failure I dont know what is?
ltoomey82 2 years ago
I grew up in that same Chicago neighborhood back in the 60's and 70's and yes it hurt me terribly when I saw the video of the brutal attack on Darrion.
On to the marriage topic, I have been married for 20 years and we have 3 accounts his/hers/ours. He pays all the bills except my our son's tuition, my car note and the cable bill. I know I'm fortunate to have an old fashion guys who still wants to pay everything but I love it!! He was raised this way, his mom never worked. I work PT as a nurse.
Nanadsyl 2 years ago
I don't understand why would you marry a man you can't trust? I it sad you are marrying just to have a man. I have been married over 20 yrs and I married a man I can trust and love. If you can't trust him now don't marry until you can trust him, marriage will not make your situation better.
airamth 2 years ago
I sooo agree with you wtf is up with marrying busters? If you can't trust them why marry to begin with!
ltoomey82 2 years ago
Let me paint a CLEAR PICTURE....ok..good example. Bernard Madoff. Remember him. Yes the Ponzi Scheme guy. Look how many people TRUSTED this man. And his wife married him...why? Cause she THOUGHT he can be trusted. So what does he do??? STEAL everyone's money, lying about investing it, and they have what....NOTHING!!! Thats all Im saying...make sure you are covered. Have some on the side. He was a trusted man until he got greedy...it happens people...
Ateyaaa 2 years ago
Ateeya I say this I was married and I had to get my own account because it caused too much problems I always had to produce reciepts and I got tired of it. Biblically speaking what belongs to your husband belongs to the wife also. If possible have a joint account but she should be free to have her own. I was like to hell with that give me the bills which we share and I will pay mine and that worked for us.
lavvy2585 2 years ago
i think it definitely depends on the couple and what they agree to. as for me and my house: we have a bill account and a savings account for vacations and family emergency trips together. everything else is our personal money to spend however we choose. it works out well for us.
onlyonesimone 2 years ago
Congrats on the Marriage!!! I would like to say that I think their should be four accounts. I believe that a man should bring his check home to his wife and vice versa. HOWEVER, i think there should be a joint household expense and a household savings account for bills, food, children etc. Then there should be two seperate or individual accounts to use as you please and at you own discretion without having to consult your husband or wife before removing funds.
shortieyee3000 2 years ago
Perhaps their should be an agreement where both parties for example direct deposit 80% (or whatever) into the family or joint account and the rest into individual accounts. By the way, im 23 and non married...as of yet lol :).
ps. if you know your mate has some type of money management issues and you believe they might steal money from you...you might want to put a little extra up...but i would suggest that one re-evaluates or reconsider the marriage
shortieyee3000 2 years ago
Each couple and situation is different but I would love to share what I do. I've been married for 8 1/2 years and my husband and I have separate accounts. BUT we add our money together first, pay bills, save and THEN split the difference and keep our 'allowances' in separate bank accounts. I must admit my husband is better at managing money; however, I enjoy my sense of independance with my own account. So it works out for us and I'm very happy about it.
RochelleTumeka 2 years ago
I think a joint account can be established after they're married. Any money that was made before the actual marriage should be theirs and theirs alone. Any money earned after the marriage should be combined to a certain degree. Maybe by dividing their payroll in thirds and putting a third in a household checking account, a third in a household savings account, and the last third in their "personal" accounts established before the marriage. This is just may opinion!
Good topic!
Clynnm0702 2 years ago
First off I wanna say congratulations to the young lady, marriage is a beautiful thing!!!!! I really believe it's whatever the couple agrees on what works for them. I am 22, my husband is 25 and we have been married for a year and a half. We only have seperate accounts and it works for us. We have an understanding as to who will pay what bill and when we go out it's whomever gets their card out first that pays, or unless one of us just volunteers to pay. But it really just depends on the couple!
DesireeMonae 2 years ago
My husband and I have always had separate accounts, we have been happily married for 15 years. If one wants to commingle funds and the other doesn't, they shld both keep a separate account and one account together for bills. I've been a stay at home mom for 9 years and this still has not been a problem. He pays me and I place my funds in "my account" and I use one credit card that all my charges are placed on and he pays the bill. This may not work for everyone, but it definitely works for us.
sky8725 2 years ago
i think if it was me i would have an account with my spouse however i would have my own account on the side. i wouldnt put all my money in a account with my husband. also they do have account where your can put money in the account however in order to take money out of the account with individuals need to be present.......... oh and your hair is looking fly Mama
brownskinn6 2 years ago
i agree with you have one joint account for together purchases, bills, and whatever else but they both should keep their own seperate accounts for like spending and what not cause if someone wants to shop or whatever and it all comes out of one account someone is going to get mad about spending the money senslessly saying do that with your own money!! so yes seperate and one joint. Even though you are as one they are still individuals.
972nesha 2 years ago
i'm also about to get married and we just had a talk about it. we had the same thoughts about money and landed on your opinion. absolutely nothing to complain about it! you don't know what happens in future.
miku1112 2 years ago
Contribute your half of the bills and keep the rest in a separate account!!!!!
imtang0708 2 years ago 2
Hey Ateyaaa! I'm with you all the way on this one! Plain and simple...one account for bills...and each one have their own separate account!...there is nothing wrong with that! However, if a joint account works for you...then go for it!
bornavirgo 2 years ago
As a married woman for 9 years, I would have to agree with your aunt!. We are one and this was not from the words of my mouth, but of God's. Money is the route of all evil and it will destroy marriages or people in general. But, there must be a solid foundation to begin with or else you are giving money the power to destroy. God has to come first, then love and trust. It's not your battle to fight if anything goes wrong, as long as you trust in God. This is my belief - it has not failed me yet.
lovewater1 2 years ago
hi ateyaa im a new subscriber i wanted to comment on the video i am married my husband and i have seperate accounts he pays all the bills he dont pressure me at all about having account together and everything is still equal between us we have no problems about having a seperate account,maybe if he stressing her about so much just keep majority of her money in her accont and put a little in joint account too keep the peace. i love you videos girl!!!
mrsranada1980 2 years ago
Me and my husband have been married for about 3 years now. We have done exactly as you said: One account that is held jointly that we pay bills from and then we both have our own seperate accounts. I too have seen many men and women flip out and clean out accounts and disappear. Although I trust my husband and he trusts me...sometimes you really just don't know what a person is capable of. We have done great with our method and see no reason to change it.
FirstLadyee 2 years ago
the thing today is that people get married, planning for a divorce. i'm 24, married, and how me and my husband do is we have a joint account that we pay our bills out of, and then we each have our own savings account. we HAVE to put a certain amount in the joint account to cover bills and expenses for our daughter, and we can put whatever in our savings... it works for us, and we just pray together, because divorce and separating is not something i look forward to!
mizzgriff85 2 years ago
will you be my boo boo
robertisjay 2 years ago
Seperate been there done that
immaDstarra 2 years ago
Separate accoutns and one for the bills =P
elle2melle 2 years ago
I think she should stand her ground
beautifulwoman0312 2 years ago
u should always have a plan b so i would definitely get a separate accounts.
jerseygirl149 2 years ago
First I am single and 34 so I am use to seeing about me, doing for me, and managing my money. I don't know if that is something God has to work on me. I do not want to join my money with my husband, I would have my account, his account, and an account with both names on it for bills. You should talk about this though before you get married. The main things couples fight about is money..and you don't have to be married to know this.
ebonyy24 2 years ago
When u set up separate accounts, you are already planning for the failing of the marriage. I've been married for 24 years sharing our checking and savings account. {Helps to know what hes doing too}. Unless she sees signs to get her an account on the side, share the money! Give a good trusting marriage a chance.
mzyasmin 2 years ago
i partly disagree with your opinion. Wouln't you agree that it happens TOO MANY times, not saying that hers is going to fail but marriage does involve making compromised decisions so that BOTH can be happy.we all make mistakes so its ALWAYS best to have something to fall back on in times of need. I dont think its about not trusting, but setting up a financial safety net that could in actual fact help both of them in sitituations where either has caused the problem. am i making sense?
kizzyshawtii 2 years ago
Just think what would Madea say? LOL
itshot123 2 years ago
i agree that they should have a bills account together but other than they should have thier own money
chocolatedream3411 2 years ago
Ateya, I saw the video on mediatakeout but I didn't know what I was watching. When it showed the boys killing him, I jumped from the computer,cried, and I started shaking. They said they arrested 4 teens ,with one admit to directly thowing a blow. I pray everyday for protection over all because people will kill you without thought. Just pray and pray for those kids that are in the streets and I know Lil Derion is sitting with God and not having to suffer anymore. Rest Under God's Arm..
ebonyy24 2 years ago
keep them seperate, and i agree a joint billing account is wise .
BlackRose938 2 years ago
marry me Ateya lets show them
DHARDENONE2 2 years ago
In my opinion, 60% of the money should be put together and the other 30% of each of your pay in individual retirement accounts. The last 10% should be for individual/personal uses. That is what works for my husband and I, we have been married for 15 years and never had any issues with money. Thank you Jesus.
Gloria7433 2 years ago
Most of the money should be together. That can be for bills, investments, etc. - whetever they do as a couple. Each person should also have a separate account so they can buy personal stuff without overdrawing the main account. The personal accounts don't need to be secret. I never understood the "secret stash" thing. If you don't trust dude, you don't need to marry him. This has worked for my parents for 40 years. They each know about the others personal acct but don't have access to them.
SDot2385 2 years ago
I agree with you ateyyaaa two seperate accounts it the best i seen a lifetime movie where the man was acting up and the wife cleaned his account out and moved on with her life
Datgtgurl 2 years ago
I feel that two accounts is the best option. My husband and I have a checking and a saving account that we share. With this account we pay bills and put money aside for vacation or any sudden emergency that might come up. In our indv checking & saving acct we buy extra things for ourself. By doing this we are aware of where our money is and neither one of us can complain to the other about buying things for ourself.
prfroggy69 2 years ago
I just watched that video. and i started to cry cause that got to me. i dnt understand why our teens cant just act like they have some damn sense. Like to hear the crys from his friends tellin him to get up. I just started to cry even more...lord...
ok and me and my b'f have separated accts, it doesnt bother us. but were gonna get one for bills.
nickg2779 2 years ago
Me and my fiance (2 yrs) have been sharing a joint account for 11 years and we've never had problems with money... so far has us not giving 100%. I now have a second job and opened a account separately that i put that whole check in that account... If you don't feel having a joint account... DON'T! Open a joint account and put in a agreed amount into that account for bills. And open that account at a different bank from yours we dont want a tyler perry situations
Leianess 2 years ago
All folks should have a stash to the side...
mstyana 2 years ago
I'm not sure how I feel about putting money together. My parents have been married for over 30 years and it works just fine for them.
cybersurfing30 2 years ago
seperate....
nicegurl35 2 years ago
Money is one of the quickest ways to break up a relationship! I was married (my husband passed 9 years ago) and we had a joint account, but I also had a savings and a checking account that I came into the relationship with! My grandmother always told me not to ever tell a man everything you have! Because he's probably keeping his whether he tells you or not...so why not make it a fair playing field and do the same.
bmjm74 2 years ago 2
My boyfriend and I have a joint account that we each out a little money in for bills or to save for vacation, but I also have my own bank account as well does he. It works best...the bills get paid, and we each have our *just in case* money.
Yeayamay 2 years ago
i THiNK iTS A GOOD iDEA TO HAVE SOME JUST iN CASE MONEY... THATS GOOD FOR EVERYONE... AND i THiNK.. THAT iF YU ALREADY HAVE A PERSONAL ACCOUNT.. YU SHOULD KEEP iT.. AND ONCE YU GET MARRiED YU GET ONE TOGETHER. i WOULD HAVE TO AGREE.. i'VE SEEN MEN FLiP AND TAKE EVERYTHiNG THEN COME TO FiND OUT THEY HAD OTHER ACCOUNTS ANYWAYS...
ech322 2 years ago
I agree one account for bills and than two separate accounts for personal money.
MelaNyc219 2 years ago
I am praying for the young gentleman Derrions and his family ,and about that married status about them accounts yes separate accounts, please do because the money she work hard for he can't touch ,and for the money he make she can't touch ,I am married been married for 8yrs and we do have different accounts.
carmellady46 2 years ago
good video!
ITZTRAG 2 years ago
no no no no 5% thats all married 12 years that does not work.but money together for bills ONLY!!!no no don't do all your money you will REGRET it!!!
milesshakira 2 years ago
hecckkks naw! she should keep her money seperate.
justcrystalle 2 years ago
My prayers go out to the Derrions family as well, I couldn't even watch the video..Just awful! My husband and I have a checking account for bills, we have a joint savings account, he has his own "fun money" and I have my own "fun money". The reason being, I don't want us to keep trying to balance our account trying to figure out who took what out, and have checks bouncing everywhere. She needs to come up off of that mess, she sounds as if she wants to be married and keep the single life.
GODSPRINZES2 2 years ago
So I think have an emergency fund, a joint account for bills for checking, and a joint savings for fun things you do together, separate accounts for personal money. voilaaaaa lol
Girlllpuhlease 2 years ago
(2) Do they come from families of divorce? (3) Are they both in agreement with their style and quality of life? (4) Are they both conscious about needless spending? (5) Can they discuss money matters in a rational conversation. Of course, their are many things to consider before marrying that person, let a lone joining bank accounts. since lack of commitment, lack of communication between spouses and the Inability to manage or resolve conflicts are reasons for Divorce.
HighlandPark908 2 years ago
Praying for that poor boy and his family. It was a truly disgusting and unecessary thing to happen. RIP xx As for the money problem, I agree with Ateya. You have a seperate account for your bills and then you each have your own money. You can have a joint savings account for holidays but a woman should always have something of her own just in case...
Cutchswife 2 years ago
Hi Ateya,
Combining both incomes into a single account I think will be a personal decision. When I was married, my husband would give over his paycheck and deposited it into my checking/saving account. I was the trustworthy one and solely my interest was the interest of my family (husband and son) only. Therefore, depleting the account wasn't a concern of my husband. Also, there are extenuating circumstance that both parties need to look at. (1) Have either of them been Divorce? Continued
HighlandPark908 2 years ago
whatever happened to seperate but equal...lol....no....relationships are too unstable nowadays......and there is nothing wrong with wanting to make sure you are secure....i'm for whatever is going to give me a piece of mind....i have been in a situation where i was bringing the majority to the table and thats fine....but when i was laid off....his attitude changed quickly about the finances...he couldn't be bothered with taking care of the things i used to handle...so i say NO to the joint acct.
SoftandBeautiful77 2 years ago
I wouldn't do it again! I am married and my husband and me are seperated now. Of course the money wasn't the biggest issue and it didn't lead to the seperation BUT it was an issue. I like spending my money and not having anybody telling me what and how much I can and can't spend it on. I work 8hrs a day so I feel like its my right to do what I feel is right with the money IF I can pay my bills and feed my son. Everybody should have their on acct open up a shared on for bills and maybe savings!
MsDivalicious89 2 years ago
Don't do it!!! It is definitly ok to do when ur married...I actually think thats the only time to do something like that. My friend boyfriend was on crack and stealing money to do it and she aint know for days...But my dad and his girl have there own accounts and then a shared account. Please do not do it while ur single only when ur married. Your not one while ur single only when ur married. Me and my husband have the same account there is no seperation but again I'm MARRIED!!!
derekandkeyasha01 2 years ago
1st I wanna say my prayers go out to Derrions family. that is such a tragedy what happened. The video is heartbreaking.
My view on joint accounts are this: keep your accounts how they are before you got married! Marriage shouldn't be about money so it shouldn't matter anyways. There should already be an agreement on how bills will be paid so that is not an excuse. I am not married and I don't care how much money is in my mans account as long as he pays the bills he agreed to!
Colanomics 2 years ago
If your name is attach to the joint and seperate account as well theyre both at the same bank. The bank can start subtracting from your seperate account. I've seen that happened. Married couples be aware, just because yall share the same last name, not everything has to be combined.
special907 2 years ago
I honestly I believe that you need to do whats best for your relationship. Some people can have joint accounts and it works for them wonderfully and then you have the other ones, that their spouse just take, take, take. I believe this become an issue if you dont know your spouse spending habit. Me personally I would get a joint account for households things. I would get another account seperately at a different bank. People dont realize that banks can draw money out of your seperate count.
special907 2 years ago
My husband and I set up a joint account for bills and a joint savings account (for vacations, trips, etc.). We still have our separate personal checking and savings account. We are 100% open with each other about our finances and if he doesn't have it - I got him and if I don't have it - he got me, but everything is not joined. It's really a personal opinion. Do what works for your relationship - but we don't think it's necessary for us. And we haven't had any money issues yet!!!
Ladonte1984 2 years ago
I'm not sure I'd have a problem with separate accounts. For the 'bills' account, say half of the wife's check and half of the husband's--adjusting for percentage for the household bills. And that should probably be the only rule, really--the HOUSE bills must be settled before individual stuff...
94fordtaurus 2 years ago
I'm married and money does NOT have to be an issue, Do what ever works for you. Its good to have your own acct. And also a joint account for savings, household needs etc,. There are so many things to you have issues own. And money should NOT be on of them.
1LADYNITA 2 years ago
I'm not trying to be rude, but money is always an issue. Your thankful that is this hasn't been a problem in your marriage, but it happens. Money is the reason why you go to work, why you live in the house you do. Please dont think that all I do is value money; however, ppl need to be realistic.
special907 2 years ago
Me & my hubby have a joint checking account and our own individual savings account., but mostly because we keep our savings account for our own little fetishes. He likes video games and I like wigs and make up, so it's a win-win!!!!
itsjustme28 2 years ago 3
I'm married and me and my husband have joint accounts, but I do understand what u and ur husband are doing!!
derekandkeyasha01 2 years ago
I deff agree with ateya's opinion
lillilmike 2 years ago
Well I am in the military and its not the men that spend all the money. Most military wives are young and they spend spend!!! so you can just say that it's a man but you should have rainy day money just in case of anything but two becomes one in God's eyes so the money God allows the marriage to make should be in one account with a savings account.
jamellia 2 years ago
you should have a joined account but also another account....
drewcld 2 years ago
you look REALLY pretty today
crakhoBITCH 2 years ago
my husband and I put our money together into one account. now i keep a little bit out of each check just for me( hair, nail shop, etc) but the bulk goes together! we discuss everything and we have been married over three years!
distinctivelady17 2 years ago
i cant stop crying about it i went to that school two year ago
jaronnnnnn 2 years ago
"years ago"
dustypork 2 years ago