George Carlin Natural Disasters

[wurble]

"When you see a big fire on tv... don't you hope it spreads?". I love that. When I'd hear of a huge flood or fire starting to subside I'd always find myself being disappointed, then wonder if I was a sick fuck. The fact that one of my favourite comedians thought the same way brings me much joy. I'm always surprised he didn't become huge in England. He's got that cynical grumpy old man attitude that us Brits tend to love.

[Dethenger]

This joke could be easily ended with:

"...Well, that's one hell of an act. What do you call it?"

"The Aristocrats!"

[TheBigRedMario]

crucifying them! trying on their underwear, shit like that!

XD XD XD XD XD

[MsRebaca]

space time breaks

[MsRebaca]

green shit

[MsRebaca]

whit assholes

[MsRebaca]

go fuck your self hahahaha

[MsRebaca]

EMPTY FUCKING BRAIN LMAO AND TAKES A FUCKING NAP LMAO LMAO

[MsRebaca]

COMPLETE FUCKING PEOPLE

[MsRebaca]

same fucking people LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL­

[reasonsforeman]

"Green shit"? That's no problem, I can smoke that.

[Klokateer41188]

8:15 - Everybody's Uncle Dave!

[DrCaligar1]

He is my god but imagine this being said my Jack Nicholson

[Ygdrasel]

It's funny because it sounds like a happy ending...Until you realize trillions of lottery winners means a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a penny for each Uncle Dave. :P

[DrCaligar1]

@Ygdrasel U are getting this way serious. I think he means that only when we win every week we will be happy. Obviously it will never happen not even close, it shows how unreasonabe our demands are

[Ygdrasel]

@DrCaligar1

Serious? Hardly. Logical? Quite.

What he means is there will be trillions of lottery winners every day. That's the scenario he set up in this routine. My comment is simply taking the scenario to its logical conclusion. It's basically him screwing everyone over a final time hidden as a happy "we all win!" ending. And that's just what I expect from Carlin.

Seems to me you took my comment too seriously.

[GoldenCenturion]

And the sky fills up with green shit!

[MrVinushka]

Jason and Jenniferrrrrrr.

[Hunkarov]

But before they die parasites eat there brains!

[MrHKHunter]

ALL OF THE UNCLE DAVES!

[animalcinema]

I've been a Carlin fan a long time and have seen this bit a bunch of times. However, it just occurred to me that this is my favorite. Really profound at the end when he says the line about trillions of tiny stars.

[Dreamerx47]

@animalcinema

the original " i kinda like it when a lot of people die" was even better

[boiledhooker]

I miss that boy

[cookiefromgod]

"and thousands of idetical homes with idetical fire with idetical killing all the identical soccer moms and idetical kids named jason and jenniferrrrr" roflmao

[cookiefromgod]

cuz phiadiphias closed on the weekends

[Mary5r3e5r]

My uncle Dave, your uncle Dave, everybody's uncle Dave.

[Ununs3pt1um]

I'm pissing myself right now watching this... fuck Revelation to John. This is the revelation to Georgie and this is what is gonna happen! What's gonna happen!

[wizardofkoz20]

"and pretty soon it seems like things are going to get out of control"...lolz

[nebiyu11]

"every star has a trillion planets" when he gets too passionate about what he's saying, its almost like he's singing. This is why I love carlin. he is sincere, even when being sarcastic

[werty7099]

finally that cunt bambi is dead

[oblivion234brown]

Me: hey mom i'm gona go beat up 0 people

Mom: what?

[UglyFiveOne]

@oblivion234brown Kill yourself!

[DarthDrizzt]

yeah i hope it gets worse =)

[migueleato]

'' Killing all the identical soccer moms and their identical kids name Jason and Jenniferrrr '' <- LOL!

[Scarface89658]

And Canada burns to the ground but nobody notices

[Aleque]

RIP dude, I love you

[futuredeath]

there a hurricane today in newyork I hope it gets really bad

[mikepach1017]

@futuredeath too bad we told it to go fuck itself.

[LuniaVideo]

@futuredeath Missed NYC :) Hit Long Island instead

[Stroup50]

I have no sympathy for humans whatsoever

[brokenseatbelt]

Best comedian/intellectual EVER. PERIOD.

[texasB666]

With this bit/rant he reminds me of Schopenhauer. When you live in this strange western world its almost given that at some point you become a happy misantrophist.

[GordonMorrice]

@texasB666 I have always thought of Carlin as Schopenhauer meets Lord Buckley.

[texasB666]

@GordonMorrice Yes, kinda true :) I love all three: Schopenhauer, Buckley or Carlin... All good.

[GordonMorrice]

@texasB666 It's all good. Have you seen Louis CK? He isn't funny, but he he'll make you want to kill your grandmother by drowning her in a cum bath. Organic cum, I'm not one of those corporate offensive-YouTube-repliers. Thank you!

[texasB666]

@GordonMorrice LOL! Thats some funny shit. You're right about drowning your grandmother in organic cum when you listen to CK.. Before we start talkin' shit you should know i'm not American. I'm just a guy on the other side of the world wondering about this place thats called 'earth'. And i'm not really impressed with the things we've done so far :) Ever done ayahuasca? Thats something else.

[ashland1977]

This is so funny, because it is so true.

[LTDANMAN44]

this is so beautiful i could cry

[MrRayge82]

I miss you George

[septim1402]

So proud that i actually have an Uncle Dave.

[MultiMrsmiley]

I bet Carlin would have gotten a kick out "o" that little japan incedent.....

[theeducatedfool]

And now I wish I had an Uncle Dave...

[derkeve]

this is still my favorite joke/rant in all of comedy. he truley was one of the greatest comedians on this planet... and now that he's gone the world is a worse place for it.

[issueagent]

I think he's high XD

[luka7646]

the best comedian that ever live

[BUBBAROX7012]

I liked the little shout out to my hometown Long Island. KILL ALL THE FUCKING RICH BASTARDS HERE!!! FUCK EM! *fart noise*

[BirdPhobia]

greatest rant ever.

[vanDaalstad]

"Squish"

[centurion180ad]

There is no learning curve AT ALL, in ///all/// of America no just down at the bayou.

It is very hard to feel sorry for people that couldn't give less than a rat's ass for all the extermination going on in their names, the plundering and mass murder by the Debt Syndicate bankers.

[SoulBlade35]

I still remember when the Deep Horizon oil spill occurred, now I probably have a problem but I just wanted that spill to get worse and worse.

But that's me.

[xhellonhighheels69x]

And the people of New York tell the fire to go FUCK ITSELF!

[Dawnrunner42]

@xhellonhighheels69x And it does!

[saintbeast24]

@xhellonhighheels69x AND IT DID

[desmodavidson]

@xhellonhighheels69x and it does!

[onxiaftw]

@xhellonhighheels69x AND IT DOES ! O.O

[wolfacula]

Sounds Great.Awesome upload.

[pinochet222]

thanks for putting Uncle Dave in the tags, it's what brought me here lol

[MsRebaca]

thank you george ya old fuck

[peteardable]

This is one of his best bits. No respect.