Added: 1 year ago
From: smbctheater
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  • ultimately; the jesus with the largest crown of thorns will win the right to mate

  • What's the similarity between a Roman soldier and Mary Magdalene? They both nailed Jesus!

  • "I'm going to turn into a swan and fuck you" was the best punchline ever.

  • It looks more like the cross gave him surprise buttsex until he mysteriously died

  • This is incredibly offensive to crosses, I will have it down.

  • Damn nature! You're scary!

  • @reddragon8621 because Jesus is a Jew

  • Why jezuz gotta be wite?

  • @rootvalue cause they dont have any mexicans on staff.

  • @rootvalue Because he had long hair.

  • @rootvalue Because even though the real Jesus was not white, and was described as "skin of bronze" the modern day perception is primarily that of a white guy.

  • @Kelizar666 the dude roofin the house next door got skin o bronze and he's red neck white as they come. Jesus was a carpenter and got plenty o sun too... o ? or no? I wouldn't use bible passages to back up your arguments ...that book is very poetical

  • I'm no Christian, But This is sacrilege...not that there is anything wrong with that because I'm also very P.C. so.... Good Job on causing conflicting feeling with an otherwise boring video.

  • That was weird. Only the last bit was funny.

  • looks like the Jesui got nailed by the cross.

  • This is gold....

  • Bullshit, that's not what anthropomorphic crosses sound like.

  • A cross? i would have made it a jew.

  • Rewatching a year later and the fact that the cross is Kelly and she's eating Jesus-Zach just makes it all the more hilarious.

  • Wait, that one sound effect is from DOOM 2! It's the death cry of the Mancubi.

  • @Kerrandrius You hear a lot of the Doom sounds everywhere because a lot of them came from a sound library.

  • For some reason I love seeing Zach with a toy fish in his mouth.

  • LOL! loved the Zeus reference xD

  • That's a very long nonstop flight.

  • @d3nyd

    In a very small plane

  • Why is da cross have to be a brova?

  • @synesthesia86 cause its face paint since its supposed to be wood. it not a "brova"

  • hahahaha, eat it christfags

  • lol, 101 dislikes!

  • lol, christians

  • I've been to the Galilee. It's not so much a lake as it is a pool. It can barely support a tree, much less an entire forest.

  • That is so wrong... do it again =D

  • Turn into a swan, touch him on the penis.

  • @StrawberryBoy100 The Ugly Fuckling! Genius!

  • Lol, start with Dvorak's 9th. Epic

  • @LordArtemisHunt Oooh, nevermind, that opening is startlingly similar

  • ROFL at the punch line...

    Also, what kind of plane is that in the map montage?

  • ROFL at the punch line...

    Also what kind of plane is that in the map montage?

  • I just have to know, how much hate mail did you receive versus laughs?

    Not counting the laughs alone that such a question generates.

  • turn into a swan touch'em on the penis.

  • Jesii... sounds like Jedi...

    DAMN YOU, SMBC THEATRE

  • Lol. I had to watch it again to get it. The "Jesi". Lol. Pseudo-latin may be irritating, but it can also make for good humour!

  • Turn into a swan and touch him on the penis.

  • I almost shit myself laughing at the last line xD

  • Oh my god, how did I only just notice this video? Most wtf smbc I've seen so far, well done.

  • lol @ Zeus reference at the end xD

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  • turn into a swan, touch him on the penis

  • Turn into a swan and fuck you...touch him on the penis

  • Shouldn't the predator have been a jew? Like a REALLY jewish jew? And the greek part was awesome.

  • @elk832 Except Jesus supposedly was a Jew. So that would be sorta cannibalistic.

  • I just wanted to point out out that at the time of writing this comment, the number of likes is 666.

    I want to like it, but its just too perfect a number to screw with.

  • My feelings can only really be expressed as........ BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAAH

  • Ha ha ha ha, 0:53 Surprise buttsecks!

  • I just noticed the credits from this May video list her as "Kelly Weinersmith." No hyphen, or anything, just smash the two last names together. Congrats, haha.

  • "I'm gonna turn into a swan and fuck you" sealed the deal

  • Best SMBC theatre yet.

  • Is that Kelly in the suit?

    Is this just some really kinky roleplay?

  • holy fuck im sending this video to everyone i know

    how the hell did u come up w/this

    fucking EPIC and hilarious!

    watched it 5 times!

  • IM GONNA TURN YOU TO A SWAN AND FUCK YOU ....thats my new chat up line

  • this may be one of the most offensive things i've ever seen.

  • @TheLionside how so?

  • @TheLionside Yeah, isn't it brilliant? :)

  • Agreed, this is sick.

  • Turn into a swan, then touch him on the penis.

  • I don't really get this. I mean, the cross costume was funny, and the word Jesii is funny, but I don't really get the humor here.

    I'll take Grilled Cheese Sandwich for my daily blasphemy anyday.

  • @gcard2112 It's a parody of a nature documentary. That's the humor. That's why it's called, "Nature Documentary."

  • This is straight up amazing.

  • blasphemy is so fuckin' hilarious :D until you're burnin' in Hell, that is :)

  • Fucking hilarious. "Jesii" is my new favorite word.

  • Yep, us greeks turn in swans all the time...

  • @613TheEvil fysika

  • @613TheEvil The Olympians, not the Greeks.

  • The Jesus eating cross is the funniest thing ever.

  • jesi aren't gingers

  • So good

  • LMAO that was odd!

    Hey maybe you should do one featuring Muhammad instead of Jesus, to join in with Draw Muhammad Day tomorrow.

  • huhu

  • Eat Jesus, touch him on the penis

  • What does he say at the very end?

  • @Pretzil43

    "I'M GONNA TURN INTO A SWAN AND FUCK YOU" I think. That's how gods do.

  • @Pretzil43

    IM GUNNA TURN INTO A SWAN AND FUCK YOU

  • this is... amazing

  • best yet

    this and the plumber

  • This is your best one yet.  Definitely.

  • the beginning was crap, but the very end made me lol

  • lmao

  • Also, I don't blame Weiner for being anti-Christian. If I were a ginger, I'd be mad at God too.

  • @kingzora ... I lol'd.

  • @kingzora

    Its because Gingers have no souls.

    RWJ Quotes ftw!

  • For people who are interested in the music: The song is called "Vor dem Sturme" and is taken from Haggard's "Tales of Ithiria".

  • Woah, production value!! Also, are you so lonely that you need the hatemail from videos of Jesus being apparently butt-raped Spit-On-Your-Grave-style by a Crucifix?

  • Turn into a swan, touch him on the penis.

  • @kyuubi571 Bingo.

  • XD i really enjoyed this! Crucifix predator!

  • So a little bit curious, I decided to go through the archives again... 777 comics in (seemed appropriate), and while he has many comics with Christianity references (the vast majority of them "jesus does something silly"), he's got maybe two or three of other religions and the one comic which is old testament but not blatantly Christian is a Noah's Arc comic. I think it's safe to say Mohammad's barely even on Weiner's radar.

  • @BardicLasher I think it's also safe to say that Weiner knows better than to take the piss out of Islam. I know that nearly all Muslims are respectable law-abiding folk like the rest of us, but there are just enough nutters out there willing to slay people who they think are being offensive. It's a while since anyone got shot dead for dissing Jesus.

  • @lexo30 You know, contrary to popular belief, most people who make fun of Islam DON'T get killed. It's just that every once in a while it does happen and it seems like such a stupid reason to us that we think it's crazy. And when you consider some of the subject matter Weiner pokes at ("Abortion. Inefficient?")  I really think there's just no humor in Mohammad as his target audience knows nothing of Islam.

  • @BardicLasher "You know, contrary to popular belief, most people who make fun of Islam DON'T get killed." I know, I know, I know. But even the fact that you say "most people who make fun of Islam don't get killed" betrays the fact that some of them do.

  • @lexo30 And most people who go camping don't get mauled by bears. And most people who drive cars don't crash into railroad trains. But it doesn't take courage to go camping. Honestly, this whole argument is stupid.

  • @BardicLasher You're right, let's stop it.

  • @BardicLasher

    Most don't, but to do so takes some backbone because there's always the lingering threat of some insane Muzzie carbombing you. There's also a difference between taking a deliberate stand for free speech and outright provocation.

  • Damn you christianity!

  • The whole Jesus thing was kinda dumb, but the last bit -- the Olympian Mating Rituals -- that had me pissing my pants. That should've been the whole video.

  • how do you guys achieve superb lighting?

  • Is the guy in the cross wearing blackface?

  • meh...

  • If you think like this I don't quite believe you are not a Christian :D

    I enjoyed it, great fun

  • im no Christian, but i cant help but wonder why a video like this would be a no-no if poked fun at Allah and yet considered funny it if mocks Jesus. i think that this video takes things a bit too far..

  • @lovedwallflower I think you mean that it would be a no-no if it was about Mohamed, or rather if you saw Mohamed in the movie.

  • @CeasarCompany yes that what i mean.. sry abt that im terribly ill informed re: Islam :(

  • "You think I'm a coward? Check my comment history."

    Oh, the Internet. Where shut-ins become superheroes.

  • Just stick to your web comics... the videos are getting progressively worse.

  • @75pld your a dick, what effort have you done to entertain people. This video was hillarious SMBC keep it up

  • @Kivan12 I agree that it was hilarious, but I have to say you're wrong: 75pld doesn't have to be able to entertain people in order to criticise someone else's entertainment. I can't play the saxophone, but I know bad sax playing when I hear it. I disagree with 75pld - this is a funny video - but people need to stop denying other people's right to criticise. If we weren't allowed to criticise things that we can't do ourselves, how could we ever criticise anything?

  • "I'M GONNA TURN INTO A SWAN AND FUCK YOU!!!"

    Seems like an appropriate shirt design.

  • Turn into a swan and touch him on the penis

  • Cross-predator of the Jesii is very intimidating.

  • lol

  • Ahh, no penis joke here?

  • "I'm going to turn into a swan and fuck you!"

    Ah, the Greeks.

  • @Gargruk Haha, it's funny cause it's true.

  • @kingzora Troll harder, I'm sure someone out there cares.

  • @Gargruk

    Seems like a lot of people cared. Oh, for good measure, Mohammad raped a 6 year old. Isn't Islam fun?

  • @kingzora

    Hey, have some respect. He waited till she was nine.

  • Oh, and since Dr. Tiller's death, there was also the murder of an anti-abortion activist outside Owosso HS. Must have been those darn militias again!

  • By the way, those figures are from thereligionofpeace. Always a good site that documents the savagery of Islamism worldwide.

  • I thought the only thing really funny about that was the ending.

  • @over9000christian. Can you please explain why you believe a 2000 year old bunch of mis-copied un-original crap.

  • This is Marty. I helped make this video, and I'm feeling a little left out. You guys keeping calling Zach Weiner a coward, but I'm also a coward. I'm probably even more of a coward than he is.

  • @martaaaay

    Sorry for leaving you out. You, too, are a giant, pus-filled vagina.

  • Wow, another good one by SMBC! I mean the comedic effect in this one is certainly through the roof!

  • Oh, @kingzora, I said that before I realized what you were on about. I take back what I said, you're not a self-righteous blaggart. I understand you have a purpose, but nevertheless, muslims are simply extremely faithful and sensitive to their religion, nothing much you can do about that.

    However, thanks to you, I will be sporting that t-shirt. Good night, sir.

  • In all seriousness though, you have to admit, we both sound like idiots arguing about a trivial thing like this. I say, enjoy the video. Who knows? Maybe next he'll go ahead and make a Muslim criticism in his next video after seeing this discussion. It's better to talk to Weiner himself than to my humble self anyway, about your disconnectedness with his videos.

  • Muslims follow the OT about as much as Christians do. They teach it, it's in there, they're just very selective about what parts they care about. At least, that's how it works with the Muslims I've met. It's just that the radical militant Muslims only seem to care about Mohammed. But hey, Kingzora, here's my challenge for you: You come up with a silly, humorous, SMBC-style comic or video script and share it with Weiner. See what happens.

  • @BardicLasher

    Muslims believe the entire OT and NT were corrupted, hence the need for the Koran. As for Christianity, adherence to the OT really varies from sect to sect, but tends to be fairly high. As for your challenge, like I said, I'm joining with thousands of others on May 20th to stand up for freedom and show that we won't be intimidated.

  • @kingzora

    ...Yes, I know you're not afraid. I'd make fun of Mohammad, too, if I had a good build up. But I'm saying Weiner doesn't have the material. So give him the material and THEN see if he still won't make fun of Mohammad.

  • In all seriousness though, you have to admit, we both sound like idiots arguing about a trivial thing like this. I say, enjoy the video. Who knows? Maybe next he'll go ahead and make a Muslim criticism in his next video after seeing this discussion. It's better to talk to Weiner himself than to my humble self anyway, about your disconnectedness with his videos.

  • When you die from a radical terrorist, I'll be sitting at your grave, telling everyone how much of a non-pussy you were, I assure you.

  • @Eggland21

    If I die defending free speech against a group of marauding 7th century savages, fine by me.

  • now try this with Mohamed

  • @MaxMyrmyr Insta-rape.

  • My point is this: Weiner mocks Christianity chiefly because he was raised in a Christian environment. While Muslims AND Jews both follow the Old Testament (that's right: Mocking the Old Testament mocks Muslims too) he doesn't target Jewish-Specific or Muslim-Specific aspects because it's not part of his background.

  • @BardicLasher

    Uh, no, Muslims don't follow the OT. Certain OT and NT figures are Islamic prophets, including Jesus, but Muslims seem to be very selective about when blasphemy against Jesus outrages them. The author of the play "Corpus Christi" about a gay Jesus had a fatwah placed on him, but for the most part they let it slide if you mock Jesus. Mocking Mohammad or Allah, though, is instant splodeydope.

  • @kingzora Also, LOL Splodeydope. Nice word choice.

  • @Eggland21

    This video is trivial, yes, but the fight for free speech is certainly not trivial. If Weiner joins the rest of us on May 20th with a picture of Mohammad (it doesn't even have to be offensive, it could be Mo having tea with Beatrix Potter and Rainbow Brite) I will take back everything I said about him.

  • ...Did he just imply that the old testament isn't part of Christianity? Wow, that's... Yeah, okay. Someone has no idea what's going on.

  • @BardicLasher LOL.

  • @BardicLasher

    If you don't realize that mocking the OT is mocking Jews, then you're not even worth engaging on this topic.

  • @kingzora Hey, just curious, can you link me up to the vid where he does this? I don't quite remember him doing any OT bashing, myself.

  • There was literally no point for the entire first part of the video. It was just trying to be offensive for the sake of bring offensive. The last for seconds, however, were hilarious.

  • @KillaBoy04 LOOK, Kingzora! People being offended! Are you happy?

  • @Eggland21

    Yes, he's offended. Notice that he isn't bombing anybody. That's because he is probably a Christian, and his religion tells him to turn the other cheek. Were he a Muslim, his religion would tell him to "kill them (Pagans, Jews and Christians) wherever you find them."

    Do you see the difference yet, or do I need to make it into a coloring book so you can follow along?

  • @kingzora ... No offense, but I think you need one. Perhaps you don't follow the logic, YOUR OWN LOGIC, that Zach Weiner simply doesn't want to die? You just said that Muslims would send more than hatemail, as I provoked you to, (Yes I knew you were going to, believe it or not), and that Muslisms choose to kill, rather than be rational.

    Simply put, Zach Weiner doesn't want to die. Surviving and being rational and smart is totally worth being called a "pussy" by someone as low as you.

  • Kingzora, can you stop being a prick for a second, and realize the "another reason" thing could very well be valid? Weiner is not a terrorist. And even if his only reason is not getting tons of hatemail by Muslims, then he is smart. You sir, are quite convoluted, and need to see it by other's viewpoints than yourself.

  • @Eggland21

    "Hatemail"? Yeah, sure, because he definitely doesn't get hatemail from Christians, right?

    It's not hatemail, faggot. It's a fucking scimitar across the throat. Christians send hatemail. Muslims send hadjis with explosive vests.

  • @Kingzora

    So you think not dying from a crazy islamic radical makes you a pussy? You're such a pussy. Go die to an islamic radical, then maybe I will listen.

    I believe that I am following your train of thought, am I not?

    Also, Bardic, I say stop feeding the troll. This guy is quite obvious.

  • @Eggland21

    No, not mocking the group that issues death threats for cartoons while openly mocking groups that don't retaliate makes you a pussy. Lars Vilks is still alive, and the gravitational force from his massive balls would crush your tiny little head, Eggland. If you have obvious double standards, and the one group you refuse to engage just happens to be the one that firebombs people for making movies critical of their religion, then yes, you're a fucking gigantic pussy.

  • @kingzora You are a fucking idiot. And a really good troll.

    Is it so hard to see that Zach Weiner does NOT want to die, or get beaten up, etc.? Just because he DOESN'T WANT to go through what Lars did is acceptable. You shouldn't expect ever person that mocks cultures and whatnot to always mock the ones you want.

    I really don't know what to say, other than you simply are a self-absorbed, Lars Vilks-loving twat.

  • @Eggland21

    No, it's not hard to see that. Like I said, Weiner is a coward. At this point, you're not really even arguing that point, are you? He's allowed to be a coward, and I'm allowed to call him out on it. May 20th is "Everybody Draw Mohammad Day." On that day, I will post my picture of Mohammad raping a goat while wearing an explosive vest on my blog with my full name and home address. You see, I'm not afraid of savages. Are you?

  • @kingzora Ok, sure, choosing not to die means you're a coward. Also: I own this t-shirt: amorphia-apparel(dot)com/desig­n/stick/

    I have gotten a lot of threats being seen with that. Please don't drag our opinions into this pointless arguement.

    Sure, Weiner is a coward and pussy for wanting not to die. He also is, above all, a rational thinker. and Insanely funny.

  • @Eggland21

    Stone and Parker are a lot funnier, and also not pussies. Also, they are strangely alive, even though they mock Islam and Mohammad. You see, not everyone who faces the Islamic savages dies; it just takes a tiny bit of courage to oppose their crusade against free speech. On May 20th, I'm mustering the courage to do so. Care to join me?

  • @kingzora Will do, I will be sporting my t-shirt with Muhammad as a stick figure. Thanks for telling me about the day. I realize that most don't die, but I think simply put, Weiner understands about how strongly Muslmis care about their beleifs, and perhaps might not be mocking them as he doesn't want to offend them... because he is nice? is that possible?

  • @Eggland21

    Aw, Eggy, you had me and you lost me. Now we're appealing to Zach's great empathy for others? He doesn't seem to mind offending lots of other groups of people.

  • @kingzora Furthermore, and secondly, the picture of Muhammad's head on a dog which sparked it all doesn't even look that all good.

    Umad?

  • Of course, he doesn't seem to go after Jews either. That's probably because he wasn't raised Jewish. Looks to me like Weiner was raised in a Christian area, by Christians, and that's why so many of his jokes have to do with Christianity. The reason he's not doing Muslim jokes isn't likely because he's afraid, but because he just doesn't care. I'd lay even odds that he doesn't know jack about Islam and has no material for jokes.