Heisenberg and Schrodinger are speeding on the fast lane when an officer pulls them over.
"do you have any idea how fast you where going" he asks, to which Heisenberg replied "no but i did know exactly where i was". the officer is puzzled by the strange answer and checks the car for drugs. a moment later he returns and says "do you know you have a dead cat in the trunk of your car" to which Schrodinger replies "well i do now".
A painter, if we do a comparison of times at a low level, which tells you that he is a painter and you ask him where are his paintings, tells you that he would not, what is the kind of painter? The idea of a painter who paints not because something fits together but not quite, of course, Allah is above. But if we are to understand the simplest basis, then fit together the examples.
@RuskiHomie ikr. he has nothing else to do but to study all that space crap.. i bet if he had a chance to give up being crippled and just be a regular man, he would!
To clarify, when physicists talk about observing a particle, they are referring to firing photons at the particle so it can be observed. The particle being hit by photons is what causes the particle's wave function to collapse, not the act of looking at the particle.
just because he is disabled does not mean you have to start making jokes about him, he is just a normal human being just like us but is just disabled, he did not choose to be disabled. so show him some respects and hope that he might last a couple more years with us.
@ThePsychoReturns must comment... Too many morons... Haha I read your post about your precious, infallible theory of evolution. You asked for disproof? How about the lack of a missing link? How about the thousands of holes in the fossil record? How about the fact that humans haven't decided to magically grow wings and evolve in all of recorded history? We got taller and started educating ourselves, that's about it. Where's the proof? A monkey jawbone glued to a human skull? That was what the la
@WillWorkForMakeup95 I was scrolling down through the comments and: "God encouraged Cain and Abel to commit incest" what?!? WTF does that even have to do with Steven Hawking?? BTW, I know most of the stories from my childhood, I guess I must have missed that one. It's unbelievable the shit people makeup to justify their sad existences/choices... Stop fucking your sister and read a book, before you claim to know what it says. Fuck! Haha
there are 10 million million million million million million million million million particles in the universe that we can observe, youre mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd
@BlongBlarble So you go on youtube search for " stephen hawking" and post dumb comments under at least 3 videos about sinning by researching things you dont even understand at all? He can't figure out how to walk again because the god you claim to follow didnt want him to walk all of his life. Blame your parents for beeing stupid and don't flame on famous scientists.
If your so smart, then how come you don't know why he can't figure out how to walk again?
In quantum mechanics, how we observe it changes how it behaves. A quantum physicist then infers the nature of a thing without being able to look directly at it. But those inferences must ironically be made by using what is observed.
The quantum mechanic said he had to look at the car. It's a paradox of thinking about physics on the quantum level. And the joke is then most likely in its absurdity.
In a nutshell, this is a physics take on Godel's Theorem.
Stephen Hawking - "Our collective free time needs to shift as much as possible to education. Whether you're a young student or finished school long ago, get out to the library whenever you can and work hard to learn everything you can about this world. Each individual and society will benefit from being able to solve more problems and make better decisions. Education is an amazing discovery process that repays you endlessly."
in quantum physics, electrons behave differently when you look at them. so he is implying that by looking at it, the car's problem may be solved, changed, or gotten worse.
In quantum mechanics, living beings observing the universe causes it to be that particular way, since electrons can be in multiple places at once. So if he "looks at his car", it may be fixed by simply looking at it.
"Mindless entertainment in our free time should be replaced by intellectually valuable things that are equally entertaining. Brain Building by Marilyn vos Savant and other books like it do a good job of laying out all the ways education and intelligence can help us and more importantly how to foster intellectual growth. There are so many wonders that knowledge and the intellect can bring us." - Stephen Hawking
It does sound like a Schrodinger's cat joke. Or could he be making fun of Quantum Theorists?
Quantum Mechanics studies the smallest particles of matter, which obviously cannot be observed by the naked eye... maybe he's implying that the Quantum Mechanic needs to see it to fix / prove it and since he can't see it therefore can't fix / prove it...
Assuming of course that he's more a Relativity fanatic, and does not support Quantum Theories.
@Serraphotep actually i think it means he has too look at the posibility of him being able to fix the car in quantum mechanics u can never be sure of anything but only make predictions on the probibility of something happening so when the mechanic said idk i'll have to look at it he means he actully doesn't know if he can or not
Since most people would rather make comments about how they get it and not explain it to those who don't... I thought it was a reference to Schrodinger's cat... He can and can't fix it until he looks at the car... am I wrong?
@143421434214342k no. thats not what i am saying. Man must be religious from born to death but when a man is near death yes he should be religious too for God's infinite forgiveness.
@Beornhan As if there is a heaven waiting for you, well for your sake i do wish you luck, after all, living a life in expectancy of something you'll never get is just too miserable.
to put all your god vs science bs to rest i was brought up as catholic i was force fed religious shit then when i got older i read the bible somewhere in that book it goes on about sin one of the biggest was about incest so riddle me this the you bible bashing fruit cakes it started with adam an eve then they had two sons cain and able so witch one fucked eve to create us no matter how you look at it we came from incest so we are all fucked hope you christians and catholics like it warm
@dill6885 You bring a good point. But if you look in the bible, it doesn't bring up incest until the new testament. Never in the old testament did they say do not comment incest and it was even very common back then. Incest was brought up however by Jesus which was around 6 thousands years after Adam and Eve. People didn't know any better, and God never actually told them do not comment incest. There human so give them a break right?
Wasn't his voice designed by the same people who made the Amiga workbench program "say"?, because all the other voice programs out there doesn't sound anything closes to his, only the Amiga "SAY" program does.
I love how when you log into you tube... you can become a world renowned scientist. Hawking isn't the only scientist/theorist in the world. But to understand other theories... you actually have to READ. Before anyone attacks each other... I suggest you start exploring possibilities instead of hating someone else. The religious people I have a problem with are the ones who FORCE you to do anything... i.e. muslims.
Why is there religious talk on this video? Sigh, religious people are like a fucking plague, can they just shut up already and let me enjoy my life. Hehe, get it? One of "god's plagues"?.. Nah it's not very funny. :3
I don't believe intellegence could be measured.. There are no possible "consistent" ways to prove that. You may fail at one person ways but not to your own. Theories are just theories and they are viewed in different ways. Just had to say that.
@athiest382 you are an extremist athiest. Nobody gives a shit what you say. Everyone has their own opinion on life. I hate how you athiest think you better then other people. You have no heart whatsoever. Left Wing extremist
@koolsk8ter111 Is that so? So there's NO religious extremist in the world? "Nobody gives a shit what you say." Isn't that a characteristic from extremists? And there's no religious people who think they are better than atheists? Like people who say we're doomed because we don't believe in god? I want you to answer those questions.
WAKE UP MORONS! Religion does three things quite effectively: divides people, controls people, deludes people.
You believe in a book that has sticks turning into snakes, and you say we are the ones that need help? Face it. Chimpanzees are our closest relatives. Humans are in the animal kingdom. We are not special.
Atheism is the way to world peace. Only terrorists believe in religious garbage.
All religious people are brainwashed sheep.Religion is nonsense.God does not exist!
@R3dSt4r90 It is more logically sound to believe in a supreme deity than to believe in the Big Bang Theory. Scientific evidence has concluded that spontaneous generation is false, that life cannot suddenly come into existence.
@lolzpvp Source of this "scientific evidence?" Don't troll/talk about things for which you have no idea about what you're talking about. All you are referencing is Pascal's Wager, which is only a philosophical investigation. By the way, spontaneous generation WILL occur if you understood chaos equilibrium equations. You obviously know nothing about math/sci and need a differential equ's course....And If you are trying to come to a legitimate understanding, then do it--come to an understanding.
@KeithPolyA lol the chaos equilibrium is a flat joke that nobody considers as critical evidence in supporting any sort of "existence" theory. I am a biological science major and I have studied Pascal's theory and it has been proven false...it is not possible for something to come out of nothing. The whole matter and antimatter argument in regards to the Big Bang is false. I think you should come to an understanding, that there is a God, try that out and UNDERSTAND that God does exist.
@lolzpvp Have you thought that we just can't well... SEE where the Stuff came from... like maybe the big dumpster of matter just left after it dumped it's cargo...?
@lolzpvp You would understand that many exotic systems obey Dirac Equations. I'm a working Molecular Biologist earning a Master's in Biophysics...so when you are ready to discuss science, and not bullshit that you try string together to address arguments, then you'll do so. You believe what what you want, but think twice before you speak in a real lab, if you make it into one. Simply saying that a God exists and that I should believe it on no evidence speaks for itself...
@KeithPolyA There is plenty of evidence...first of all, NOTHING in the bible can be proven wrong, that's for starters. Secondly, all you have are THEORIES, not FACTS. Theories are proven wrong countless times. The bible is living FACT that GOD EXISTS. You may be well educated in the science department, but you lack common sense. Open the bible, and read, I PROMISE you that it will change your life. I was a hard strong atheist for a while---God will speak to you.
@lolzpvp I dont mean to offend you but actually there are a number of things in the bible that can be proven wrong. Take the crusifixion for example (dont mind my spelling) there is nothing in roman records that state there was a jesus even though they took part in the crusifixion. Second the roman centurion that stabbed jesus was blind. A centurion Is a leader of a roman army and the romans would never put a handicapped person especially a blind person as leader of an army.
@kingkirby117 First of all, why would the Romans take note of something so tragic as the "crusifixion" of Jesus, do you think countries accused of genocide would want to have that in their history records. I am sorry but I do not see the relevance in your arguments...like I said, open the bible and give it a shot, you have nothing to lose other than time. Rather than going off on youtube, you could have a look and see for yourself. All I wish is to plant a seed, so that it may sprout one day
@lolzpvp Not taking records of genocide? The romans took pride in genocide for example the gladiator games and not to mention the countless countries they Conquered which had a lot of genocide in the process. I did read the bible and thats why I know there was a Blind Centurion ( which is impossible ) that stabbed Jesus. I used to be Catholic but as I grew older I found it too closed minded
@lolzpvp I believe though that some of the things in the bible are real. The ancients used words only they knew to metaphorically describe what they saw. Ok say you never seen an airplane before because you lived in the jungle your whole life and then you finally see one. Youre not going to say "oh look an airplane" youre most likely to say " its a gigantic shiny bird that makes a mighty roar as it flies by. But hey believe what you want I'm not stopping you
@ThePsychoReturns Hey man! The bible is written long ago, in a time where society looked at words/meanings different than how we look at them today. Youtube wont let me link you the cite, but if you google search "does the bible say the earth if flat", it should be the first link. It will explain both side of the argument and then show the finally reasoning on the misconception of people thinking the bible says it is flat. Let me know if you have any other questions :)
@ThePsychoReturns If you want to be naive about it than it's at your own sake. I cannot convince someone that is not willing to listen. Enjoy the little time we have on Earth, because the time after is eternal, just think about which road you wish to take. I pray that one day you will make the right choice, and open your heart to God and those around you. God bless.
@lolzpvp I'm not being naive. You said that nothing in the bible can be proven wrong. I proved the bible wrong. I told you to provide one fact that disagrees with the theory of evolution. You couldn't.
You're the one who isn't willing to listen. If you need to be dishonest to defend your position, that means you already know that your position is wrong.
@lolzpvp hey idiot, check your facts. a scientific theory is quote, "a hypothesis that has not been disproven after many years of rigorous testing." i got that straight from my advanced biology book, so who do you think is right, you or a college biology book???
@CarrithersMusic Buddy, my point is that theories have been proven wrong countless times. Theories that have been proven wrong are still classified as a "theory". I could go all out on this but youtube only lets me post so much in these comments. But this is really aside of what I am trying to argue.
@BlobaHed Being intelligent doesn't make you smart. The wisest man (aka Socrates) once said, "All I know, is that I know nothing". Socrates was claimed to be the smartest person of his time because of his statement. Try a better come back buddy :)
@lolzpvp um socrates was WISE not smart (philosopher = filo + sofos = friend of wisdom). and also, yes , stephen hawkings is smarter , or more intelligent (its a fucking synonym) or whatever you want to call it, than youre moronic mind can even comprehend. i bet youre one of those idiots that think we're made out of mud. lol.
@BlobaHed Clam down man, I realize you shelter yourself on youtube with all the language and imbecilic reasoning. It's time to grow up kid and not act like you are still 15 (unless you still are).
my car broke down the other day so I took it to a garage and the guy said he's a quantum mechanic. I asked him if he could fix my car or not and he shrugs and says "I don't know, I'll have to look at it."
I'm not a genius by all means, but I think the punchline of the joke is the quantum mechanic is considered to be a very intelligent person but does not know how to fix a car. Meaning that even the most intelligent of people can still be stumped by what others see as a normal or easy problem. Like how Albert Einstein was able to do long and complex equations and theories, but was still mostly unable to do basic math because it was too hard for him to do. Also, 'mechanic' is in his job name :P
there are 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 particles in the universe that we can observe, your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd
I think in quantum physics, tiny particles have the ability to be in two states at once (such as spinning clockwise and counterclockwise at the same time) until you "check on it," forcing it to choose one or the other. So he's saying the quantum mechanic could not choose between knowing whether or not he could fix the car until he checked it.
They call him... Wheels!
SyfterSx 3 hours ago
@RuskiHomie listen, I know he's a bad atheist, but seriously, cut him some slack. You stink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bossturtles1000 6 days ago
Heisenberg and Schrodinger are speeding on the fast lane when an officer pulls them over.
"do you have any idea how fast you where going" he asks, to which Heisenberg replied "no but i did know exactly where i was". the officer is puzzled by the strange answer and checks the car for drugs. a moment later he returns and says "do you know you have a dead cat in the trunk of your car" to which Schrodinger replies "well i do now".
Trisscarro 6 days ago
I laughed!
MegaIhateit 1 week ago
A painter, if we do a comparison of times at a low level, which tells you that he is a painter and you ask him where are his paintings, tells you that he would not, what is the kind of painter? The idea of a painter who paints not because something fits together but not quite, of course, Allah is above. But if we are to understand the simplest basis, then fit together the examples.
MovieTVclassik 1 week ago
this joke is hard to understand if you don't know him as a person
Raa1n 2 weeks ago
Fail stephen hawking can´t drive a car. (or?)
TheBladox95 2 weeks ago
lol hav to look at the car epic !
urielsandoval500 2 weeks ago
That's not real. For obvious reasons he can't move or talk. So how does he step on the gas pedal. And that's your computer.
52298Beebop2 3 weeks ago
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I'm only laughing because hes a disabled fuck LOL
RuskiHomie 3 weeks ago
@RuskiHomie And he is one of the greatest minds alive.
lachionoise 2 weeks ago
@RuskiHomie That comment makes you seem horribly ignorant and is in no way humorous.
DrumMan1025 1 week ago
@RuskiHomie ikr. he has nothing else to do but to study all that space crap.. i bet if he had a chance to give up being crippled and just be a regular man, he would!
jarodandtacos 1 week ago
@RuskiHomie It's too bad you're a stupid fuck, though.
cbfd234 1 week ago
You know you've arrived when you get over 500,000 people viewing, commenting, or debating one of your jokes!
rockymountainsunrise 3 weeks ago
umm. that was hawk-ward
mikeraimondo 3 weeks ago
lol stephen hawkings wrote the dick and jane series (no offense)
sporeplayer100 3 weeks ago
@sporeplayer100
You do know it's "Hawking," not "hawkings," right?
5jerry1 3 weeks ago
To clarify, when physicists talk about observing a particle, they are referring to firing photons at the particle so it can be observed. The particle being hit by photons is what causes the particle's wave function to collapse, not the act of looking at the particle.
anhero23 4 weeks ago
Hahahahaha it's like Schrodinger's cat joke. Paradox in a sense -- or a Catch-22
MIGHTYMAITE9 4 weeks ago
nerds joke
TheWhathappened1 1 month ago
just because he is disabled does not mean you have to start making jokes about him, he is just a normal human being just like us but is just disabled, he did not choose to be disabled. so show him some respects and hope that he might last a couple more years with us.
NoDollaDeng 1 month ago
oh yeah i totally get that, haha...
whatshisname231 1 month ago
how is ''Squirrel Attack!'' a related video :S
Agentkip1 1 month ago
xD oh lol
TheReaperInLT 1 month ago
@ThePsychoReturns must comment... Too many morons... Haha I read your post about your precious, infallible theory of evolution. You asked for disproof? How about the lack of a missing link? How about the thousands of holes in the fossil record? How about the fact that humans haven't decided to magically grow wings and evolve in all of recorded history? We got taller and started educating ourselves, that's about it. Where's the proof? A monkey jawbone glued to a human skull? That was what the la
supermonkey123084 1 month ago
@supermonkey123084 if you think that evolution is a process that is decided by the organism, than you are a fool :)
beyondthelol 1 month ago
@WillWorkForMakeup95 I was scrolling down through the comments and: "God encouraged Cain and Abel to commit incest" what?!? WTF does that even have to do with Steven Hawking?? BTW, I know most of the stories from my childhood, I guess I must have missed that one. It's unbelievable the shit people makeup to justify their sad existences/choices... Stop fucking your sister and read a book, before you claim to know what it says. Fuck! Haha
supermonkey123084 1 month ago
there are 10 million million million million million million million million million particles in the universe that we can observe, youre mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd
keyboardsynticz 1 month ago
HAHAHA!! i love that coming from Dr. Hawking!
Jobo130 2 months ago
I got 12 inch rims on my chair thats how i roll yall! you look like someone glued a mustache on a troll doll!
youwatch2muchtv 2 months ago
he cant drive!
Jtune14 2 months ago
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he is telling a joke based on the Schrödinger's cat experiment
mikeybear83 2 months ago
he is telling a joke based on the Schrödinger's cat experiment
mikeybear83 2 months ago
@mikeybear83 no hes telling a joke based on quantum mechanics which is what schrodinger's cat experiment is based on
browno26 2 months ago
If this guy is so smart, then how come he can't figure out how to walk again?
BlongBlarble 2 months ago
@BlongBlarble So you go on youtube search for " stephen hawking" and post dumb comments under at least 3 videos about sinning by researching things you dont even understand at all? He can't figure out how to walk again because the god you claim to follow didnt want him to walk all of his life. Blame your parents for beeing stupid and don't flame on famous scientists.
If your so smart, then how come you don't know why he can't figure out how to walk again?
MrDeltinSir 2 months ago
Comment removed
youwatch2muchtv 2 months ago
Um.. That was hawkward....
lizardgizzard108 2 months ago
@lizardgizzard108 wow, you know how to copy the top comment, good for you
jpjustin101 2 months ago
In quantum mechanics, how we observe it changes how it behaves. A quantum physicist then infers the nature of a thing without being able to look directly at it. But those inferences must ironically be made by using what is observed.
The quantum mechanic said he had to look at the car. It's a paradox of thinking about physics on the quantum level. And the joke is then most likely in its absurdity.
In a nutshell, this is a physics take on Godel's Theorem.
potatopopper 2 months ago
@potatopopper kind of the same joke Schrodinger was trying to make
raith2006 2 months ago
Hahahahahaha, I got it.
ronniegranillo 2 months ago
I'd never thougth the Audio Transcription today is really accurate
xendraferdanz 3 months ago
Dammit people the joke is that HE HAS A CAR
Platychidnapus 3 months ago 11
@Platychidnapus LOL
darkscurion 2 months ago
you just made that with microsoft sam didn't you?
jordododo 3 months ago
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Stephen Hawking - "Our collective free time needs to shift as much as possible to education. Whether you're a young student or finished school long ago, get out to the library whenever you can and work hard to learn everything you can about this world. Each individual and society will benefit from being able to solve more problems and make better decisions. Education is an amazing discovery process that repays you endlessly."
TheLogicalBrain 3 months ago
Brilliant, as always. Did Hawkins actually say it or is at a generic quantum physics joke applied to him?
llamaguy1321 3 months ago
in quantum physics, electrons behave differently when you look at them. so he is implying that by looking at it, the car's problem may be solved, changed, or gotten worse.
Hinduspy 3 months ago
In quantum mechanics, living beings observing the universe causes it to be that particular way, since electrons can be in multiple places at once. So if he "looks at his car", it may be fixed by simply looking at it.
alan0445 3 months ago 65
@alan0445 lol.
PureSoulEaterCY 1 week ago
wow poor guy but he is very smart indeed
MooNGamingStudios 3 months ago
no offense but his voice sounds like WALL-E having sex with a speak and spell :D who knows where this came from?
TheAP0C1 3 months ago
@TheAP0C1 Epic Rap Battles of History.
Blackwind1231 3 months ago
@TheAP0C1 Stop Being a Hater..... Bitch...
thegirlintheblue1 3 months ago
umm, am i supposed to laugh?
omar2819 3 months ago
"Mindless entertainment in our free time should be replaced by intellectually valuable things that are equally entertaining. Brain Building by Marilyn vos Savant and other books like it do a good job of laying out all the ways education and intelligence can help us and more importantly how to foster intellectual growth. There are so many wonders that knowledge and the intellect can bring us." - Stephen Hawking
TheLogicalBrain 3 months ago
It does sound like a Schrodinger's cat joke. Or could he be making fun of Quantum Theorists?
Quantum Mechanics studies the smallest particles of matter, which obviously cannot be observed by the naked eye... maybe he's implying that the Quantum Mechanic needs to see it to fix / prove it and since he can't see it therefore can't fix / prove it...
Assuming of course that he's more a Relativity fanatic, and does not support Quantum Theories.
or we can just stick with Schrodinger's cat...
Serraphotep 4 months ago
@Serraphotep actually i think it means he has too look at the posibility of him being able to fix the car in quantum mechanics u can never be sure of anything but only make predictions on the probibility of something happening so when the mechanic said idk i'll have to look at it he means he actully doesn't know if he can or not
Shane6 3 months ago
Since most people would rather make comments about how they get it and not explain it to those who don't... I thought it was a reference to Schrodinger's cat... He can and can't fix it until he looks at the car... am I wrong?
metalmonkey88 4 months ago
im not caring about him one bit. Because of his religion thinks. He has one feet to death but still acting like a ateist.
Beornhan 4 months ago
@Beornhan So u think that only when a man is near death he should be religious? Thats just wrong thinking
143421434214342k 3 months ago
@143421434214342k no. thats not what i am saying. Man must be religious from born to death but when a man is near death yes he should be religious too for God's infinite forgiveness.
Beornhan 3 months ago
@Beornhan U just comfirmed what I said :P
143421434214342k 3 months ago
@143421434214342k am i ? :P
Beornhan 3 months ago
@Beornhan As if there is a heaven waiting for you, well for your sake i do wish you luck, after all, living a life in expectancy of something you'll never get is just too miserable.
Meansofviewing 3 months ago
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Swolf943 4 months ago
Stephen Hawking had a hot date last night. She stood him up though.
He fell flat on his face.
Swolf943 4 months ago 2
@Swolf943
HAHAHA I am crying on the floor laughing :D
ZANEJOHN 3 months ago
Goddammit, is there just one comment that explains the joke?
sako36 4 months ago 39
@sako36 he says he is a quantum mechanic, and quantum mechanics is completely abstract, and impossible to "look at"
michaelAKAgod 4 months ago
@sako36 when electrons are observed at the quantum level they behave differently than when they are not observed
raith2006 2 months ago
@sako36
I've always said, if you have to explain it, it's not funny. This was funny to the people who got it.
5jerry1 3 weeks ago
And then the cat died
Fantascular 4 months ago
i feel obliged to laugh cuz of his condition
jzamora999 4 months ago
good one!
arna11420 4 months ago
to put all your god vs science bs to rest i was brought up as catholic i was force fed religious shit then when i got older i read the bible somewhere in that book it goes on about sin one of the biggest was about incest so riddle me this the you bible bashing fruit cakes it started with adam an eve then they had two sons cain and able so witch one fucked eve to create us no matter how you look at it we came from incest so we are all fucked hope you christians and catholics like it warm
dill6885 4 months ago
@dill6885 lol the ignorance
ilikepenguins100 4 months ago
@dill6885 You bring a good point. But if you look in the bible, it doesn't bring up incest until the new testament. Never in the old testament did they say do not comment incest and it was even very common back then. Incest was brought up however by Jesus which was around 6 thousands years after Adam and Eve. People didn't know any better, and God never actually told them do not comment incest. There human so give them a break right?
WillWorkForMakeup95 4 months ago
Respond to this video... And plus God encouraged Cain and Abel to comment incest without it you and I wouldn't be here!
WillWorkForMakeup95 4 months ago
@WillWorkForMakeup95 Uhm...don't remember that part; what I am certain of is the one brother killed the other brother...nothing about incest...
gerardwfreak 4 months ago
i can't believe chuck norris did this much damage to stephen in one punch
dill6885 4 months ago
well its not funny to people in 2011 because 2011 is retarded.
mercanaries3 4 months ago
I... don't get it...
AngelKay7 4 months ago 3
What!?!??? He can't drive!!!
SuperPrankst3r 4 months ago
way to go stephen -.- that was a funny joke. xD
LidaAsh 4 months ago
errr.....that...was...funny...
spikeman316 4 months ago 2
Pretty good punchline, but his delivery needs work.
ScionAscendant 4 months ago 4
Wasn't his voice designed by the same people who made the Amiga workbench program "say"?, because all the other voice programs out there doesn't sound anything closes to his, only the Amiga "SAY" program does.
markhorneyuk 4 months ago
xD if only the git had known what he was showing himself off as
DragonsGuardian 4 months ago
The joke is that things keep teleporting on a quantimicanic level
drakLORDmike 4 months ago
i.. don't understand the joke..
ry4nmaster 5 months ago
@kingkirby117 there are tons of thing
tasmLIVE 5 months ago
microsoft sam voice ...
DeeWeext 5 months ago
I love how when you log into you tube... you can become a world renowned scientist. Hawking isn't the only scientist/theorist in the world. But to understand other theories... you actually have to READ. Before anyone attacks each other... I suggest you start exploring possibilities instead of hating someone else. The religious people I have a problem with are the ones who FORCE you to do anything... i.e. muslims.
blockzilla1000 5 months ago
um... that was hawk-ward
Technos72 5 months ago 118
@Technos72
Epic rap battle of history Albert Enstein vs Stephen Hawking ?
ZeDarkReaper 4 months ago
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@Technos72 Ha. Ha. Ha.
Xxienjoymarshmellows 4 months ago
good 1 LMAO
Nazareem 5 months ago
Why is there religious talk on this video? Sigh, religious people are like a fucking plague, can they just shut up already and let me enjoy my life. Hehe, get it? One of "god's plagues"?.. Nah it's not very funny. :3
youtubian2500 5 months ago
Comment removed
youtubian2500 5 months ago
I don't believe intellegence could be measured.. There are no possible "consistent" ways to prove that. You may fail at one person ways but not to your own. Theories are just theories and they are viewed in different ways. Just had to say that.
SnihKamen 5 months ago
@athiest382 you are an extremist athiest. Nobody gives a shit what you say. Everyone has their own opinion on life. I hate how you athiest think you better then other people. You have no heart whatsoever. Left Wing extremist
koolsk8ter111 5 months ago
@koolsk8ter111 Is that so? So there's NO religious extremist in the world? "Nobody gives a shit what you say." Isn't that a characteristic from extremists? And there's no religious people who think they are better than atheists? Like people who say we're doomed because we don't believe in god? I want you to answer those questions.
YorianSevenfold 5 months ago
Haha!
JMaSsA11 5 months ago
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WAKE UP MORONS! Religion does three things quite effectively: divides people, controls people, deludes people.
You believe in a book that has sticks turning into snakes, and you say we are the ones that need help? Face it. Chimpanzees are our closest relatives. Humans are in the animal kingdom. We are not special.
Atheism is the way to world peace. Only terrorists believe in religious garbage.
All religious people are brainwashed sheep.Religion is nonsense.God does not exist!
atheist382 5 months ago
well i think that was a little Hawk-ward.............hahahah
ApenergopoihmenoS 5 months ago
@ApenergopoihmenoS lol!!!
dude488 5 months ago
I thought the joke was him having a car.
alexrules181 5 months ago 165
@alexrules181 XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
warrockneurd 3 months ago
omg stephen is like the greatest person ever. definitely would love to have dinner with him
charlottestockdalee 5 months ago
Lol fake
Vethursan1 5 months ago
fake ._.
RomanianUser 5 months ago
Stephen Hawking is an idiot who got crippled as a result of his blind ignorance on why life truly exists.
lolzpvp 5 months ago
@lolzpvp god? haha
R3dSt4r90 5 months ago
@R3dSt4r90 It is more logically sound to believe in a supreme deity than to believe in the Big Bang Theory. Scientific evidence has concluded that spontaneous generation is false, that life cannot suddenly come into existence.
lolzpvp 5 months ago
@lolzpvp Source of this "scientific evidence?" Don't troll/talk about things for which you have no idea about what you're talking about. All you are referencing is Pascal's Wager, which is only a philosophical investigation. By the way, spontaneous generation WILL occur if you understood chaos equilibrium equations. You obviously know nothing about math/sci and need a differential equ's course....And If you are trying to come to a legitimate understanding, then do it--come to an understanding.
KeithPolyA 5 months ago
@KeithPolyA lol the chaos equilibrium is a flat joke that nobody considers as critical evidence in supporting any sort of "existence" theory. I am a biological science major and I have studied Pascal's theory and it has been proven false...it is not possible for something to come out of nothing. The whole matter and antimatter argument in regards to the Big Bang is false. I think you should come to an understanding, that there is a God, try that out and UNDERSTAND that God does exist.
lolzpvp 5 months ago
@lolzpvp Have you thought that we just can't well... SEE where the Stuff came from... like maybe the big dumpster of matter just left after it dumped it's cargo...?
Zandonus 5 months ago
@lolzpvp You would understand that many exotic systems obey Dirac Equations. I'm a working Molecular Biologist earning a Master's in Biophysics...so when you are ready to discuss science, and not bullshit that you try string together to address arguments, then you'll do so. You believe what what you want, but think twice before you speak in a real lab, if you make it into one. Simply saying that a God exists and that I should believe it on no evidence speaks for itself...
KeithPolyA 5 months ago
@KeithPolyA There is plenty of evidence...first of all, NOTHING in the bible can be proven wrong, that's for starters. Secondly, all you have are THEORIES, not FACTS. Theories are proven wrong countless times. The bible is living FACT that GOD EXISTS. You may be well educated in the science department, but you lack common sense. Open the bible, and read, I PROMISE you that it will change your life. I was a hard strong atheist for a while---God will speak to you.
lolzpvp 5 months ago
@lolzpvp I dont mean to offend you but actually there are a number of things in the bible that can be proven wrong. Take the crusifixion for example (dont mind my spelling) there is nothing in roman records that state there was a jesus even though they took part in the crusifixion. Second the roman centurion that stabbed jesus was blind. A centurion Is a leader of a roman army and the romans would never put a handicapped person especially a blind person as leader of an army.
kingkirby117 5 months ago
@kingkirby117 First of all, why would the Romans take note of something so tragic as the "crusifixion" of Jesus, do you think countries accused of genocide would want to have that in their history records. I am sorry but I do not see the relevance in your arguments...like I said, open the bible and give it a shot, you have nothing to lose other than time. Rather than going off on youtube, you could have a look and see for yourself. All I wish is to plant a seed, so that it may sprout one day
lolzpvp 4 months ago
@lolzpvp Not taking records of genocide? The romans took pride in genocide for example the gladiator games and not to mention the countless countries they Conquered which had a lot of genocide in the process. I did read the bible and thats why I know there was a Blind Centurion ( which is impossible ) that stabbed Jesus. I used to be Catholic but as I grew older I found it too closed minded
kingkirby117 4 months ago
@lolzpvp I believe though that some of the things in the bible are real. The ancients used words only they knew to metaphorically describe what they saw. Ok say you never seen an airplane before because you lived in the jungle your whole life and then you finally see one. Youre not going to say "oh look an airplane" youre most likely to say " its a gigantic shiny bird that makes a mighty roar as it flies by. But hey believe what you want I'm not stopping you
kingkirby117 5 months ago
@lolzpvp The bible says that the Eath is a flat disk. The bible is wrong.
Name one fact that disagrees with the theory of evolution.
ThePsychoReturns 4 months ago
@ThePsychoReturns Hey man! The bible is written long ago, in a time where society looked at words/meanings different than how we look at them today. Youtube wont let me link you the cite, but if you google search "does the bible say the earth if flat", it should be the first link. It will explain both side of the argument and then show the finally reasoning on the misconception of people thinking the bible says it is flat. Let me know if you have any other questions :)
lolzpvp 4 months ago
@ThePsychoReturns If you want to be naive about it than it's at your own sake. I cannot convince someone that is not willing to listen. Enjoy the little time we have on Earth, because the time after is eternal, just think about which road you wish to take. I pray that one day you will make the right choice, and open your heart to God and those around you. God bless.
lolzpvp 4 months ago
@lolzpvp I'm not being naive. You said that nothing in the bible can be proven wrong. I proved the bible wrong. I told you to provide one fact that disagrees with the theory of evolution. You couldn't.
You're the one who isn't willing to listen. If you need to be dishonest to defend your position, that means you already know that your position is wrong.
ThePsychoReturns 4 months ago
@lolzpvp hey idiot, check your facts. a scientific theory is quote, "a hypothesis that has not been disproven after many years of rigorous testing." i got that straight from my advanced biology book, so who do you think is right, you or a college biology book???
CarrithersMusic 4 months ago
@CarrithersMusic Buddy, my point is that theories have been proven wrong countless times. Theories that have been proven wrong are still classified as a "theory". I could go all out on this but youtube only lets me post so much in these comments. But this is really aside of what I am trying to argue.
lolzpvp 4 months ago
@lolzpvp stephen hawkings has more intelligence in the tip of his paralized dick than all your inbred family put together
BlobaHed 5 months ago
@BlobaHed Being intelligent doesn't make you smart. The wisest man (aka Socrates) once said, "All I know, is that I know nothing". Socrates was claimed to be the smartest person of his time because of his statement. Try a better come back buddy :)
lolzpvp 5 months ago
@lolzpvp um socrates was WISE not smart (philosopher = filo + sofos = friend of wisdom). and also, yes , stephen hawkings is smarter , or more intelligent (its a fucking synonym) or whatever you want to call it, than youre moronic mind can even comprehend. i bet youre one of those idiots that think we're made out of mud. lol.
BlobaHed 5 months ago
@BlobaHed Clam down man, I realize you shelter yourself on youtube with all the language and imbecilic reasoning. It's time to grow up kid and not act like you are still 15 (unless you still are).
lolzpvp 4 months ago
HE MEANT THAT THE GUY IS A QUANTUM MECHANIC BUT HE CANT FIX A SIMPLE THING AS A CAR
masterdelrap 5 months ago
the real question for this joke is... why does stephen hawking have a car?
alarik95 5 months ago
@alarik95 lol thats what i was thinking :D
MichaelEppinetteTV 5 months ago
idiots.. I'm 13 but I got it. I had a little lesson in quantum mechanics a year ago on some stupid kids website... I couldn't resist staring...
alarik95 5 months ago
my car broke down the other day so I took it to a garage and the guy said he's a quantum mechanic. I asked him if he could fix my car or not and he shrugs and says "I don't know, I'll have to look at it."
SirFrankoman 5 months ago
The Quantum Mechanic never saw the car, so he didn't know what was wrong with it. Could that be the meaning?
Kenpachazamaru 5 months ago
@Kenpachazamaru Why would stephen hawking have a car?!?!?!
MichaelEppinetteTV 5 months ago
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roses are red
elephants are purple
this poem makes no sense
Refrigerator
FroggerFilm 5 months ago
lolol schrodinger's cat
damandatwin 5 months ago
I think, the joke is the Uncertainty principle(heissenbergesche Unschärferelation).
HCL991 5 months ago
Dont make fun of Steaphen Haking he is a really smart man you dumd ass
MsYogscast 5 months ago
@MsYogscast says the person that can't even write his name properly
Cudifying 5 months ago
I'm not a genius by all means, but I think the punchline of the joke is the quantum mechanic is considered to be a very intelligent person but does not know how to fix a car. Meaning that even the most intelligent of people can still be stumped by what others see as a normal or easy problem. Like how Albert Einstein was able to do long and complex equations and theories, but was still mostly unable to do basic math because it was too hard for him to do. Also, 'mechanic' is in his job name :P
Riokushinaku 6 months ago
Why was Stephen Hawking driving?
cliffordodelljones2 6 months ago
Oddly, still nobody in the world thinks that funny. Even on a atomic level that joke was pathetic.
cybermarsactual 6 months ago
tht was not his voice or computer u recoreded and replaced it
spongikiss 6 months ago
i thought the joke was because he couldnt use his legs XD
Irishfighter67 6 months ago
what black and sits at the top of the stairs........... Stephen Hawking after a house fire
AlDaFunkyMonkey 6 months ago
.............................Aha!
Jakeumzz 6 months ago
BAH dum CHING!
Gravija1980 6 months ago 2
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bakerthaer 6 months ago
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there are 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 particles in the universe that we can observe, your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd
bakerthaer 6 months ago
there are 10 million million million...
KieranShallcross 6 months ago 4
umm... that was hawk-ward...
Veiledtiger831 6 months ago 5
HUR HUR HRU!!! LOL LOL LOL!!! ITS SO COOL TO BE STUPID AS FUCK YEA???? :DDDDFDSHIUFNHDSKLFJDSN
BlockisticStudios 6 months ago
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLoloOLOLOL..... -_- i don't know what that means
Th3Apollo7 6 months ago
hehehe...what?
TheMatthess 6 months ago
How in the fuck does he drive?
difficultsyllables 6 months ago
One of the driest nerd jokes ever!!
Jaezizzle 6 months ago 2
wtf
zzone555 6 months ago
thats def not stephen hawking, but it got a chuckle out of me
ziddius45 6 months ago
This video is more fail than the condom of the parents of Justin Bieber.
0wnageification 6 months ago
what the hell is wrong with everyone
you're actually buying this?
the voice is obviously off the microsoft speech thing
TheTechnoFeel 6 months ago
OMG! LOL! HAHAHAHAHA! ........i don't get it?
EvrasSnakeGirl651 6 months ago
Obviously the machine he's sitting on is his car, And when he finally looks at it his small dick appears.
ImpendentSorrowHeart 6 months ago
@ImpendentSorrowHeart shut up you fuckin asshole prick ass dick hess smartin than u u dumbass redneck
Dinox242 6 months ago
@Dinox242 He might be smart, But he's not wise.
ImpendentSorrowHeart 6 months ago
@ImpendentSorrowHeart Oh the irony.
MihaZ 6 months ago
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKEEEE
applecheesedoodle 6 months ago
wooooooww........ intellegence joke to teh 8th degree! Too many inside jokes on this one!
Red62 6 months ago
I think in quantum physics, tiny particles have the ability to be in two states at once (such as spinning clockwise and counterclockwise at the same time) until you "check on it," forcing it to choose one or the other. So he's saying the quantum mechanic could not choose between knowing whether or not he could fix the car until he checked it.
missyangatron 6 months ago 92
messed up
TheBoyThatDied 6 months ago