Lewis Black - Milk & Water

[aeonONERR69]

I just saw him on netflix last night and I cant believe I been missing out on his comedy lol.

[NUKEViCTiM]

Kiss my dick

[TheGreggiraldo]

what`s next ... maple nut crunch milk

[WinstonSmith144]

I'm watching this while drinking my daily requirement of moo cow fuck milk.

[TheRenegade21]

HAHAHAHA I've never laughed so hard at thinking about shoving a garden hose up my ass before XD

[TheGreggiraldo]

20 people sit in bathtubs

[TheGreggiraldo]

1708 people rests their cases

[Greggyc92]

Acidophilus Milk.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YA TALKING ABOUT?!

[Sword1479]

Making my milk feel bad about itself...

[nrvrine427]

8 you fuckers!

[YayoWolf]

half the bottled water out there tastes like shit anyways like there's too much bleach or something in it

[bharattaker]

hes fukin awesome !



[RSSsailing]

is this from red white and screwed?

[CoolerKing37]

@RSSsailing No, it's from Black on Broadway.

[TheMurdaDon]

god I love this guy, Lewis Black should have his own talk show, seriously

[edjedjedj1]

LOOK AT MEH LOOK AT MEH my pee has no coluh

[DeanMartin1231]

TOTAL. FUCK. FAT !!

[MiserableOldFart]

His hands are great.. but what amazes me is if you look around the glasses, he has a remarkable resemblance to a genius actor from another age - Edward G. Robinson. He could probably play a really great villain.

[Miikoong904]

Does anybody ever watch his hands?

[TanukiCoast]

mah pee has no color! XD

[midna007]

soy....milk....

[Gibbons3457]

WARNING! Boring fact ahead: Lactose intolerant milk is the exact same stuff as normal milk, it's just been predigested with that one enzyme us lactose intolerants can't make. :P

[vittoriostoraro]

@Gibbons3457

You are correct: BORING. Thank god you are not a performer. PS: It tastes like shit.

[Gibbons3457]

@vittoriostoraro I've never eaten or drank shit. But I can guess it isn't sweet as loctofree is. It's barely sweeter than regular milk. No hating.

[vittoriostoraro]

@vittoriostoraro

I'll go you one further.. As a Chef I CAN tell the difference and go out of my way to Support Organic Products. When it comes to Dairy we should ALL refuse any products that contain Monsanto's evil rBGH (recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone)

Aside form this, the simple fact it Lewis Black is a Genius !

[MiserableOldFart]

genius!

[trainboi21]

theres water with chunks of fat in it........and i gotta find that water cuz thats the tasty God Damn water. LOL

[bokbokred]

19 people are lactose intolerant

[Bluemax451]

Hillarious!!!

[MoshPitJoe]

Milk doesn't need a friend

[mztweety1374]

And there's no almond titty either!

[mztweety1374]

Moocowfuckmilk! ! Lofuckinl

[ITSBORIS1]

Moo Cow Fuck-Milk

[KevinTheNoobie]

LMAO "Moo cow fuck-milk", I want that carved on my gravestone. . .

[arrowinyourface]

what is acidophilus?

[arcadepod100]

He makes fun about the weirdest stuff... and makes a lot of sense doing it

[tjf5183]

acidophilus milk! milk doesnt need a friend

[TheSirBadass]

bad idea to eat while watching this



[heolog]

2 ladies @ 01:43 are lactose intolerant!

[optimusprime2008]

@heolog Lol I was just about to say, "Well THERE'S a couple of broads who wasted money going to a comedy show"

[sean7796]

NO!!!! FUCK YOU!!! i dont want to be that god damn convinant!! I wanna drive drive and drive n look for water. LIKE MY ANCESTORS DID!!!

[freddythefish100]

................penis

[freddythefish100]

when i think clean water, oh yeah i fuckin think coke and pepsi

[TheDarkcided]

Mils is Good Moo Cow Fuk MLK

[big0tone]

He's right, I checked, there is no soy titty.

[TheMitchConnor]

"you've been scarfing this shit down" LMAO



[mikr671]

like how he goes milk -cow f#$k sh*t milk eat. cough sputers almost passes out vomit goes cross eyed. then he agrees with you.it milk eat drink. f$ck...

[rajy09]

Haven't had a glass of milk in years.

[Greggyc92]

16 people drink acidophilus milk

[3camman]

i only drink moo cow fuck milk

[freddythefish100]

milk doesnt need a friend, that shit belongs in the yogurt section

[pullingart]

put al franken and penn jillette in a blender you get louis black.

[Gbuss88]

"Lock at me! Look at me! My pee has no color!"

I couldn't stop laughing, because when I was younger, I freaked out because my pee wasn't yellow. Then my mother told me it was because I drank so much water.

[HeartOfInsanity]

i thought aquafina was fish shit and piss

[Wedwickboy]

@HeartOfInsanity No, you're thinking about the brotherhood of steel's aqua pura.

[HeartOfInsanity]

i heard he is live in reno, nevada

[freddythefish100]

look at me look at me my pee has no colour lmfao

[cavedoctor123]

I knew it was a good idea to watch this.

[Greggyc92]

lewis black rules, and this is my favorite segment ever

[AngelSMartinez2]

Holy shit I almost pissed myself!!! Best laugh I ever had

[patton1500]

why has there not been a BLACK AND WHITE special with lewis black and ron white on one stage? that would be so funny, plus the names just make it all the better

[MadLip78]

@patton1500 Because Ron White isn't that funny

[PonDeWorld]

@patton1500 OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT IS GENIUSER THAN SHIT!

[SDJrekoff]

i'd like to see a soy tittie cause human females seem to not let me touch 'em anymore...

[thijsie121]

@SDJrekoff  ghehehe loser

[SDJrekoff]

@thijsie121 yeah, laugh it up...

[mazdaman98]

Get it away from my milk!! It's talkin to my milk and makin it feel bad about itself!!! I hate lactate milk yuck!!!!

[CelphProclaimed]

"I could go to my basement and I could get clean water, and drink it, MMM!"

[FactCheck2009]

lol

[kate1862]

what is the name of this stand up wit the moo cow fuck milk n where can i get it

[1upsound]

@kate1862 black on braodway



[76RCJ]

@kate1862 .....Black on Broadway



[AbsolutZeroGI]

My milk has a friend, it's name is orange juice. They sit in my refrigerator and play cards.

[Amitabha108]

"I wanna drive, and drive, and drive... and LOOK for water like my ancestors did."

OMG! That gets IN MY BRAIN! Aaahhhhhhhahahahahaha!

[throwerfan22]

Lactose intolerant milk?!  KISS MY DICK.

[Dwslassls]

@TallDarkAndSnarky89 In true Lewis Black fashion...to you and all the other people who make braindeadfuck comments about the number of dislikes on videos, shut the fuck up.

[CheesePizza95]

Look at me! Look at me! My pee has no color!

[dror91]

"We all know there's no soy milk, because there is no soy tittie, is there?!"

[AlonsoKnight09]

16 people drink acidophilus milk

[NoInfringementIntent]

I forget where I read this, but I remember reading that Aquafina is nothing but regular tap water.

[cheechanchux]

I still drink milk and every time I finish a glass I yell " Mmmm, THATS SOME GOOD MOO-COW-FUCK MILK!!!!"…and the I dance

[aaronKAYZfield]

Moo Cow Fuck Milk and that was it

[fadimay]

LMAOOO

[Mysteria2468]

1:17 XD

[2005Danimal]

Total Fuck Fat.



[Evi1M4chine]

In Germany, ask for “Vorzugsmilch” (spoken ‘fortsoogsmeelch”). Best, most genuine moo-cow-fuck-milk possible!

[frostybigdaddy]

@Evi1M4chine are you german?



[suicune690]

Half my family produces Moo-Cow-Fuck-Milk, and they consider anything less than whole to be nasty.

[TheSunnyStar]

"And we all know there's no soy milk, because there's no soy titty!" XD

[loud98chevy]

if you ever look at his fingers when he points, they move like crazy

[TheNolesfan94]

Look at me look at me my pee has no color! Haha

[balbarith45]

when he got to the part where he stands there and then says SOY MILK. all i thought then was " OH HERE WE GO!!"

[dirocco999]

LACTOSE INTOLERANT MILK! KISS MY DICK.

[suicidekidz100]

He is in my top 5 stand ups of all time

[andredanielgiant]

Apparently, Lewis Black watched this 16 times! Lolz

[dfbhcf]

Lewis Black = Logical sense at its best.

[wayne1wr07]

i watch this everyday....i have to start my day with this!!! and I laugh every time!!!

[henrycouchy]

16 people are lactose intolerant

[Silverwolf678]

I disagree with him on the part, that water has nutritional facts. These aren't about calories but the minerals in the water, which our body needs. Also some water is not suited for small children because of such minerals. For adults, they are important for special diets and the taste of the water. And don't tell me all water tastes the same.

[DwRScope]

@Silverwolf678...really bro? it's a joke...i mean i know he's a political comedian...but just chill...it's a joke...and generally he's correct. you're just getting too technical.

[tsslieberman]

And, is it me or does he have really long fingers?! :D

[tsslieberman]

Love this guy!!!!

[guidedbythewind]

Auqavina: The end of water as we know it

[de7con]

Does he look like Christopher Walken to you?

[MistressArte]

This is why my water grows on a vine. ;)

[thes1KK]

ahhhh, my abs hurt!

[MrWake89]

16 people don't drink enough moo cow fuck milk 

[MistressArte]

@MrWake89 That or they figured out that soy "milk" is really juice and threw up on their computer.

[AusGuerin]

"When I think clean water... oh yeah I fuckin think coke and pepsi"

[DrCowboyFace]

The nutritional facts of water: Hydrogen, Oxygen

[LordAnubis513]

16 people had a deer piss and shit in their water...

[Evi1M4chine]

I can only recommend „attested milk“. It’s raw drinking milk, but it’s so clean (usual milk has lots of bacteria because of bad cattle care) that you can drink it like that. And it tastes like super-moo-cow-fuck-milk! Awesome! :D

BTW: In Germany we still have water like that. The water out of the tap is *better* than that out of the supermarket. That’s even guaranteed! :)

And I *have* seen more than one spring. And actually it often tastes bad. E.g. because of too much iron in it.

[Mukjus]

@Evi1M4chine Uhm sorry but germany's tap water is not 'clean' sure it might be clean by some countries but people from Norway, Sweden and Finland immediately get a stomach ache or pukes because it's not as clean as it's used to.. so yes it's clean and free but the supermarkets water is probably cleaner.. sad to say though.

[Knicksman76]

16 people must not be drinking moo cow fuck milk

[Nacek112]

1:22 Good point... As always. :D

[12345l6789]

I love how he points his finger

[erichvonhinken]

It is talking to my milk and making it feel bad about itself!

[NJdevs0887]

I love when he starts like licking the bottle roflmfao

[1mlb704]

Lmao!!! I wonder how many f-bombs he dropped lol

[dkerris]

@1mlb704 Over 70 of the delightful F bombs were dropped. But I forgot the exact number.

[commandokell]

theres no soy titie is there?

[Grant691]

Only a man like Lewis Black could make 10 minutes of sidesplitting material from water.

[razrx33]

Did he really just talk about milk and water for 10 minutes...

Sigh...

[Tbarnz9]

@razrx33 yeah but it was funny as hell so shut your face. Find better things to do with your life than criticize someone that's had more success than you ever will

[razrx33]

@Tbarnz9 Where did that come from? Damn... Find something to do to release all of that pent up energy...

[PikachuYellowtoo]

Moo-Cow-Fuck-Milk is hilarious hahahahahaha fuck yeah!, Total fuck fat hahahahahahahahahaha

[PikachuYellowtoo]

Moo-Cow-Fuck-Milk is hilarious hahahahahaha fuck yeah!

[FALCONPUNCH007]

16 people think milk is bad.

[FALCONPUNCH007]

18 people think milk is bad.

[laundromatlock]

Lactose intolerant, kiss my dick!!!!

[sirhs6991]

If you read one of Lewis' routines on paper it would entirely be in caps.

[fayeslover]

16 people have pee with no color

[XxPnuemaxX]

don't forget rice milk, almond milk, hemp milk.

[IceColdWorks]

.. And you don't need a deer pissin' and shittin' in your water

[TheBowlertypeguy]

1:44... shes not having a good time

[HoeeSayy]

greatest comedian ever. you'll shit yourself laughing if you see him live, go see him if you get the chance.

[TheExLeper]

"Look at me! Look at me! Mah pee has no color!"

[monksy69696969]

0:50 lmao what the fuck are you talking about

[Crazyperson408]

what genius wok

[kingofthefox1]

TOTAL FUCK-FAT IN WATER!

[MasterGhidorah1117]

I still drink Moo-Cow-Fuck-Milk!

[shanerzgurl]

...And drink it- MMMHN! XD

[alwaysdown95]

there is no soy tiity

[canadianblackhawk]

kiss my dick ahahaha

[hop208]

Moo cow fuck milk! OMG HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[Nf1547Nf]

16 people like deer park water

[louthleviathan]

LOL 1:10. 

[TehNewSoars]

i just fuckin died lmfao. i swear lewis black should run our country, but then he haf to get all serious and no more comedy :(

[EvolaVirus3]

16 people like Soy milk

[IrvsZazza]

@EvolaVirus3 Those fuckers!!

[ItsTommyy]

fuck im an adult, i dont have to drink that shit anymore!

[VLTGAT]

MOO COW FUCK MILK!! XD

[gongoozler18]

Actual price for a 20 oz bottle of Coca-Cola is 9 cents.

[12345l6789]

TOTAL FUCK FAT

[ATL45]

"and as soon as they started bottling water, they said 8 bottles a day. Eight. EIGHT, YOU FUCKERS!!!"

[DuckieChrist]

there was just one kind of milk... Moo cow fuck milk

[Chazbc]

Lewis Black... the uncensored Seinfeld.

[xamphor]

he really isn't funny at all.

[shotsy5]

@xamphor oh yes he is!

[xamphor]

@shotsy5 "i just cant STAND these fuckers *waggles finger around a bit*" **everyone laughs for no reason**

[KingAlveus]

@xamphor

He makes you think though

[tyto8123]

There is no soy milk, because there is no soy titi, is there???!!!!

[tyto8123]

SOY MILK, WTF!!!! hahaha Lactose intolerant milk, get it out of there, it is talking to my milk and making it feel bad about itself!!!!! ahahaha

[DH2020]

15 people shove water hoses up their ass.

[Surfer041]

The word is and always will be THIRSTY! Not hydrate! They made that fuckin word up!

[joeyg420]

Moo Cow Fuck Milk!!! HAHAHA Love It!

[ellrith]

best skit he has done and will always be

[DemonWarp65]

"Moo Cow Fuck Milk". I am going to be thinking that every time I am in the dairy section at work from now on!!

[YouthEnergy]

15 people are lactose intolerant.

[bamfan151]

His finger has a mind of its own...

[frankxc13]

the audience laugh about anything... 

[klem231]

8:00 to 8:53

[21stcenturypainting]

he is so right deerpark water has got to be the worst tasting water on the planet.

[heavenshaffer]

Is milk good or bad? It's the best thing to drink ever.

[WatchdogDisciple]

Get it away from my moo cow fuck milk it is talking to my milk ant making it feel bad about itself.....................the­y print the nutritional facts...OF WATER!!!!!

[bigdogit]

I love this guy

[kecona]

I absolutely love Lewis Black. <3

[cheesefruitjesus]

I love how this guy is so angry all the time lol, he's been doing standup since he was a kid. he's a really really good standup comedian