MST3K The Touch of Satan 5/10

[HayesAJones]

"Yep, got the plague. Wanna make out?"

[PerryPlanet]

"Boy, that body pile is really growing...heh, Grandma..."

"DIE DIE DIE! I mean, hello..."

[zombiepi]

I went to the grocery store the other day and asked about CARNATION ICE CREAM. I was kicked out shortly thereafter.

[3shaiamigas]

Yup. Got the plague. Wanna make out?

[YewBeTrollin]

"I'm just gonna stop and say 'Za' in this this farm real quick"

[livinintwilightzone]

Every time I watch this, I can't get the Cotton commercial song out of my head. "The touch, the feel of Satan...the fabric of our lives..." Very annoying.

[Gigrantula58]

After the movie please be sure to pick up some CARNATION ICE CREAM!

[THiNGYBOBinc]

"They think I'm a witch."

"It only rhymes with witch!"

[lightitup2924]

Since i was born in 1990 i grew up watching the antics of mike and the bots, so mst3k has a warm spot in my heart, me and my father would always watch it together and laugh and laugh, now im rewatching them all and they're even funnier because alot of the jokes went over my head as a child. One of the best shows ever made IMO.

[cliffroach]

I never got the proctor and gamble products joke when I watched this as a kid. Here's to getting older.

[AstralPixie]

"By the way, there's no reason to look in the crawlspace"

[SmokingSpoon]

ZAP!

[gepdnuor]

There's been a walnut uprising...

[uuuultra]

ZAP!!!

[RainshadowDesert]

6 people can't afford mismatched beer.

[KimberlySeven]

I LOL'd at Mike's mandals.

[freakofevolution]

At waist down, a woman! I try to keep fit, but after the third baby...! That body piles really growing! DIE! DIE! DIE! I mean hello! He brought his own fat! Got a kettle of hands going, I see! Don't spook the walnuts! Why do I feel hungry for CARNATION ICE CREAM! I will shoot the paint right off your walls! I got the Plague...wanna make out! You Plague ridden little witch! I said ZAH! After the movie, be sure to pick up some CARNATION ICE CREAM!

[freakofevolution]

I should stop dying my eyebrows!

Oh yeah...he's a hot one alright!

LOOK OUT...WALNUT STAMPEDE!!

Well, now Andy, I think there was a demon in the car!

ENHANCE YOUR MOODY SOUNDTRACK MUSIC WITH TINY FART SOUNDS!

[bluecatky]

"Anyway, I will shake the paint off your walls, honey!" I fucking lost it on that line.

[DAVIDInitiative]

"Well, time to stick my cup back into my lips."

You made me go burpie!

[Dragmack]

poor tom has hay fever!

[UpSky2]

6:33 incidentally this looks like it reads, Santa Cota MARKET.

Santa Ynez California, by the miracle of the internet, is revealed to still have a small market called Santa Cota Market. I can't tell if it's the same one (Google Street View shows it as hidden no matter which angle you look at it from.) Just FYI! it is now a small no-account mostly-liquor store. Snubbing witches hasn't kept them propserous all these decades! :)

[felson99]

So what the deal here? Did Melissa get a package deal from Satan?

I understand why she didn't age, she looks exactly the same as she did in the 1800's.But what about Mom and Dad? Hell, Dad and Mom look like completely different people. Possibly Melissa's family members didn't enjoy the same level of coverage from Mutual of Satan insurance!!!!

[PsychoticLoner]

@felson99

I think her mother and father are actually just old people she lives with and pretends to be their daughter (she does call them by their name instead of "dad" or something), but I also have a tendency to give bad movies too much credit in story writing.

[felson99]

@PsychoticLoner Yes, you could be right...and it's not the only plot hole in this movie. I think I will just have a bowl of ice cream, and go meat hook the nearest police officer.............

[davidknight4]

6 people didn't buy any CARNATION ICE CREAM!

[guitarhero2211]

nice sandals mike lol

[RaWrZzZz]

Giving oneself a manicure while watching MST3K? Realllllyyy bad idea. laughing to hard xD

[00madbox00]

Thumbs up if you're gonnna loook for CARANATION ICE CREAM at the grocery store ;D

[montyburns9999]

@00madbox00 I have already bought 10 gallons to better serve the Dark Master!

[vfmc77]

Your such a witchest

[ReverendKalunda]

uguu



[putzthewondersloth]

Can we stack rocks on top of Christine O'Donnel?

[DrummermanMatt]

"Yep, got the plague... wanna make-out?"

[VicVinegar]

LOOK OUT WALNUT STAMPEDE!!!!!!

[wilhelm1974]

mmmm cow chips...

[Dulcimerist]

3:20 you can see a scary shadow in the window over his shoulder!

[ackbarfan5556]

RIP Don Knotts :(

[CMCK1001]

ZAH!!!!

[Dulcimerist]

It scared me when he said ZAH

[CHCHuser]

@Dulcimerist Did he make you go burpie? LOL

[einootspork]

5:45 is awesome.

[dieDunkelheit123]

"She gives them $15.55 just so she can get $6.66 back in change." lol

[jeffeastwood15]

Crow thinking he is a witch mirrors his thinking he was a Bellerian in the "Space Mutiny" episode. Sounds like it might be a congenital condition.

[jeffeastwood15]

Mmmm... sandals and white tube socks. Real sexy there, Mike lol

[BattlestarDamocles]

"And if you say my squad car I'll chainsaw you in half"...LOL :¬)

[InterEDGE]

"die die die! ...i mean helloooo!"

'you dont mind if i chew on this stick insect, do ya?"

[QuikVidGuy]

You need to construct additional rocks.

[freakofevolution]

look out walnut stampede! from the waste down...a woman! you don't mind if i chew on this stick insect? just don't spook the walnuts! why do i feel hungry for CARNATION ICE CREAM! i will shake the paint off your walls honey! witches can't lift flour on their own! ZAH!! after the movie remember to pick up some CARNATION ICE CREAM!! RIBBIT I'M A FROG! RIBBIT I'M A FROG! This scene is going to be hell on my hay fever!

[blackbeard13]

CARNATION ICE CREAM

[TheDeadhead76]

ohh they having sell on mis-matched beer!

[jekblom123]

This movie's a lot like squirm

[iveseenspikynorman]

"And get this -- *four*!"

"It only rhymes with witch"

"i've said 'za' in better towns than this"

[LaDracul]

I actually gave someone $6.66 in change yesterday...

[geneactwood83]

that sneezing at the end was funny hell roflmao

[IPutTheMeInShame]

I love it at 4:05 when he makes a joke and puts on his sunglasses - is this Caruso's father?

[Tareltonlives]

@IPutTheMeInShame YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[SilverFireworks]

They say poke a lot.

"What are you doing poking around in here?" (4PP)

[applebonker141]

"AH, from the waist down, a woman."

"Man, I tried to keep fit but after the third baby..."

"Anyway, I will shake the paint off your walls, honey." LOLOLOL

[Tareltonlives]

It would have been so much better if Harry Potter defeated Voldemort using the dreaded ZAH! spell

[wickedmuffin76]

"If yu say 'my squad car', I'll chainsaw you in half..."

[theknowledgekbi]

Yup, got the plague. Wanna make out?

[95greenhorn]

Listen, my tummy's growlin!

[solemfero]

"DIE DIE DIE--I mean, hello..."

[RedxxNeptune]

Enhance your moody soundtrack music with TINY FART SOUNDS!

HA! Roflcopter

[funkybranca]

and get this, FOUR!

[CarolinaOcelot]

Hes running around over in Newport like he was J. Edgar Hoover.

Pretty dress, though

[tagginos]

I love how Crow always has identity issues.

[xenu4life]

@tagginos I think he's just naturally a follower and very easy to influence.

[taratc20]

"You mind if I chew on this stick bug?"

[SonnyFern]

"No I'm a frog...oh wait...we're back here at the movie..."

[clutterbilly]

Aw, Mike wears socks with his sandals. Why am I not surprised...?

[theknowledgekbi]

Ahaha, isn't that fantastic. I noticed it too while he was climbing the ladder.

[Woodseone]

"huh.. anyway.. I'll shake the paint off yer balls"

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

Carnation Ice Cream!!!

Look out! WALNUT STAMPEDE!

Enhance your moody soundtrack music with tiny fart sounds!

Well, now, Andy, I think there was a demon in the car!

[buffypython]

"Well, now, Andy, I think there was a demon in the car."

"Hmm, would he even fit in the iron maiden?"

"I've said Za in better towns than this."

[WhiteTiger225]

8:20 why are they using the 2 girls 1 cup music?

[sillygrl23]

I thought the 2 girls 1 cup music was the song from "Love Story"?

[Tareltonlives]

I'm more afraid that you would know that

[WhiteTiger225]

lol, its a rite of the interwebz

[pookoos]

Luther really does look like Herbert Von Karajan. Sort of a cross between him and Leonard Bernstein in his later years.

[rustedon]

You made me go burpee

[StLennyBruce]

"..Anyway, I will shake the paint of yer walls, honey!"

[KoopaKonartist]

LIKE A ROCK!!

[theknowledgekbi]

"Like a...ughh...rock...ughh..."

- The Final Sacrifice

[tah83236]

CARNATION ICE CREA!!!

[TheVoiceDubGang]

The reason this movie is so terrible is because of the random things that don't make sense.....like ZAH!

[1Spyke23]

Move over Baskin Robbins and Dairy Queen. CARNATION ICE CREAM is taking the world by storm!!!!!

[luckeypikachu]

die die die i mean hello

[charmedcharmedsister]

two, three, and then get this... four!

LOL

[dieHeeresschar]

Well now Andy, I think there was a DEMON IN THE CAR!!!

[silentonall]

$8.89 for 2 bags of groceries?

[annthebold]

Hey man it was the 70s!  Gas was waaaay under a bck a gallon. Ah, the good ol' days...

Oh, and by the way...ZA!!!

[silentonall]

ZA!!!

[luckeypikachu]

HA ha I said Za

[Gomess]

So, she got all serious and "Stop it!" when he joked about being a czar or whatever, but when she says "I'm a witch" it's perfectly fine for him to do the same.

Hypocrisy, the foundation of all history's greatest romances!

ZAH!

[silentonall]

Hey! Stop it!

[zmerc446]

let's all have some CARNATION ICE CREAM !!!!!!!!!

[disradiance]

zah!

[ManaAdvent]

Look out! A walnut stampede!

[Xercom]

Kinkos.....lmao

[JerrySinefield]

That's not funny, my brother died that way

[pianofroglady]

darn guess he forgot that he knew all about you and just went ahead with his so insensitive joke

[JerrySinefield]

That's not funny, that's what my brother said just before he died.

[MagicalTrumpy]

zah!?

[Tryzon]

Burying Crow under rocks? Hilarity!

[couchfort]

ZAH!

[warftrat87]

hahaha... i said zah!

[saiyanprince09]

Yep, I have the plague, wanna make out?

[saiyanprince09]

"I like this place because they have bulk eye of newt"

[saiyanprince09]

"Enhance your moody soundtrack with tiny fart sounds!"

[USSJaneway]

ACHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

[bogulmon]

Man, am I hungry for some CARNATION ICE CREAM

[Zekkron]

You know what else is fun? Driving the cock-train right up your ass, you pile of. . . Nah, I like you.

Have a nice day.

[StoneColdSergio]

I've gotten 6.66 back in change at least twice in my life.

[OonaCanute]

GodDamProud2bAtheist: This is a GREAT message, but an MST3K video really isn't the right spot for it. :(

[whiskerstea]

"So anyway, I will shake the paint off your walls, baby..."

LMFAO. Omg, these jokes are hilarious!

[funkybranca]

"you are so witchist"

"i'm just gonna stop by this farm and say ZA! to somebody"

[Kinemacolour]

I would have dumped her groceries and left at this point.

[johnnyo3535]

It's funny how Luther pushes his cider on everyone.

[NanaPudden]

It's not you, it's me. Yeah, I've got the plague. Wanna make out?"

[CarolinaOcelot]

"Now well, Andy I think there was a demon in the car!"

[Dragmack]

favorite line so far!!!

[Matrix29bear]

Crow: "It only rhymes with witch!"

[bruteinazootsuit]

ZA!!

[vlcupper]

If Aint Eller and Franz Schubert were Melissa's parents back in the day, who are Luther and Molly? Her children? Zombies? Scientologists??

[EmJaySena]

Aw, poor Tom's hay fever.

[untitleme61]

I'm just gonna stop in this farm and say "Zaah" to somebody, OK?

[Oppledeldoc]

Luther keeps reminding me of

John O'Herley (sp.).

And at 6:05, it looks like Gary Owens.

[BuckeyeTreehugger]

"I HOPE you said PEANUTS!!!"

[BuckeyeTreehugger]

I've said "Zaaa" in better towns than this!

[JeweliaKittie81]

I'll shake the paint off your walls, honey lol 4:45

[slothbp]

ZAAA!! You made me go burpy!

[GenjyoSanzoOTS]

...and if you say "my squad car", I'll chainsaw you in half!

[klickenpod]

"She'll give him 15.55 so that she can get 6.66 back in change." That was pretty quick math, there, Servo XD

[vlcupper]

Well he did score higher than Observer.

[morewi]

Walnut Stampede

[vlcupper]

Actually, Mike, it's pretty easy to prove a negative. Paris Hilton's been proving she doesn't have talent for years.

[Vertigo688]

"...Then get this, FOUR."

[zyzzy78]

The "CARNATION ICE CREAM" riffs had me giggling much more than was probably necessary.

It's that sort of riff that I can only imagine the Bill Corbett Crow doing. (Or the Josh Weinstein Servo.) It requires a Mighty Voice!

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

DIE! DIE! DIE! I mean, hello!

[SatchmoProductions]

I should stop dyeing my eyebrows.

[Ganondorfdude11]

Is it just me, or does the police officer sound a lot like Bill Clinton?

[Tareltonlives]

"I'm not a witch! I'm a frog!"

[luckeypikachu]

"DIE DIE DIE, i mean hello"

" yep got the pelag(sp)wanna make out?"

LOL

[vulpive]

check out mike's sandals haha

[vlcupper]

I don't know why but his feet get me hot.

[GreatSwordNH]

Wow, I've never noticed that.

[mrevans60]

Look out! wallnut stampede. Good one Crow.

[Jquuest]

Carnation ice cream!

[CarolinaOcelot]

"She gave them 15.55 just so she could get 6.66 back in change"

[dafteyes]

haheehhahahaheyha

[animecrysis]

"I've said ZAA!! in better towns than this"

[DrWhiggs]

I like that Melissa takes credit for running the physical processes of the planet through her witchcraft.

[overlordKime]

the grocers wife died when someone said zah that isn't funny

[sgtdoom999]

just don't spook the walnuts.

[wagnerologist1984]

.."Star working for a living" Good idea Mr Policeman!

[raith0818]

"Anyway...I will shake the paint off your walls, honey!"

LOL! I can't stop laughing at the way Tom said that.

[turnertalking]

Listen my tummy's growling.