Dan Savage at U of Montana: Girlfriend's empty blowjob promises

[robbicu]

Blowjobs are highly overrated. Handjobs are highly underrated.

[TeaRedneck]

Dan, you're missing a point that would make this a total deal breaker. She's promising him something and then backing out. Who's to say that she won't do this with other things? Every time she promises him oral, she's LYING to him. It doesn't matter if he forces her into these promises. Unless it's a severe threat, like violence. If she doesn't want to do this, she should just say no and not lie to him.

And yes, he's a jerk for giving her description and a moron for staying with her.

[elementalguy2]

*red head in 7th row blushes*

[breakingthisdown]

Muah ha! You go girl~! =}!!!

[TheIpodjunkee]

I was on his side (reading the title) until he called her out in the note.

I'd be surprised if he got any after that. Then again he apparently wasn't getting any before so... meh.

[ste11astar]

LMAO! Dan, you're hilarious.

Solution: Get the BJ upfront, not after the deal. :D

[pazomblez]

uggh.

get me out of this liberal backwater.

[Chronosagaaddict]

yeah... that's a deal breaker

[Lijacote]

Someone making promises to you that aren't held is hardly worth calling a significant other, especially if they are being used to gain something. That is mercenary and dishonest, absolutely loathsome.

[ciaochowbella]

This is a classic example of the power of the BJ promise. Women have used this for AGES to get what they want! If you don't want to live with it, move on. I have absolutely no problem using this promise from time to time to get something I want. If a man KEEPS falling for it, it really is his own fault.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

[CaraIain]

@ciaochowbella the only reason 'women make fake promises' are because we actually don't mind blowjobs. Men don't even MAKE fake promises about eating pussy, because that means they might actually have to follow through.

[ciaochowbella]

@CaraIain I make fake BJ promises to manipulate men I have NO INTENTION of satisfying in any sexual manner. I figure if he's fool enough to move my furniture or rotate my tires or fix my toilet on a promise of oral gratification he just did it for the pleasure of assisting me. If I can do this repeatedly, even better.

As for men making fake promises of eating pussy, women aren't as motivated by sex as men are. Now, promise me a foot rub and you've got my attention.

[CaraIain]

@ciaochowbella ...that's pretty dangerous, and a total bitch thing to do. People don't like being taken advantage of, you're putting yourself in a dangerous situation.

You have a point with the foot rub. Men who say 'women use sex as a weapon' are clearly too stupid to figure out that a) they're being played, and should leave or b) come up with an action of equal value, like footrub/backrub/katherine heigel movie watching.

[ciaochowbella]

@CaraIain It's not been dangerous in my life AT ALL and I don't care if it's a bitch thing to do. If a man let's me lie to him repeatedly and he KNOWS I'm lying, it's really on him. As long as women have less money, power and respect in this society, I will use ANYthing at my disposal to make my life easier and more enjoyable. I don't consider it as using "sex as a weapon". More like "carrot and stick". Notice the donkey never gets the carrot either!

[Suriag]

@ciaochowbella what a remakrably unhealthy attitude to people you ostensibly care about.

[ciaochowbella]

@Suriag You are mistaken. I NEVER said, implied or hinted that I cared about those guys! They were just an ends to a means. If they are STUPID enough to actually think they will get a BJ for moving my couch, fine with me. If I can use the exact same lie TWICE on the same man, obviously, he just wants to do things for me since he already KNOWS he's not getting his knob swabbed.

The men I make those promises to are NOT men I regard as my equals nor as subject to my affections.

[Suriag]

@ciaochowbella my mistake, i mistook you for a person instead of a troll (or jerk, either way ;))

[ciaochowbella]

@Suriag Of course I'm a person! However, I manipulate others to get what I want. WE ALL DO. I'm just honest about it. Don't get all self-righteous or pissy because some woman you will never meet promises BJ's she will never deliver. What if I promised cookies for moving my furniture and then didn't give them cookies? Wouldn't that be the EXACT same thing? Don't get so hung up on the BJ. This is all about manipulation, not sex.

And don't say you never manipulate anyone. YOU DO. Everyone does.

[AncileOmega]

@ciaochowbella I like you. You've made my inability to not read the comments worthwhile.

[ciaochowbella]

@AncileOmega Thank you. I'm glad to have made your comment reading experience more enjoyable.

[nugget23]

@ciaochowbella I'll give you a foot rub if you blow me D:

[ciaochowbella]

@nugget23 Start rubbing my feet and we'll discuss just exactly what kind of blowjob you'd like!

[breakingthisdown]

@ciaochowbella I'd like to say good on you for at least being honest with yourself and 'us', but mostly I think that right there is totally just a bitch move. Can hardly think of any other way to describe it. It's girls like you that give the decent ones a bad rep. Congrats on that.

[ciaochowbella]

@breakingthisdown Oh please! DO NOT whine that "bad rep" crap to me! When it comes to sex, as women, we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. I don't CARE if it's a "bitch move". I am not hurting anyone and if some fool thinks he can get a BJ for moving my couch, then it's time he learned a life lesson. If he falls for it more than once, bully for me. It's not my fault that some men are gullible and led by their dicks. I have NO PROBLEM using the stupidity of others to my advantage.

[Kalferzu]

@ciaochowbella if there is karma in this world, things will go bad for you:(

[ciaochowbella]

@Kalferzu Aww, someone didn't get the BJ he was promised!

[Chulva]

If you can't be a whore/slut/freak for the person you with, then someone else will. Secondly, promising something to get something else done is an indicator that this relationship is heading to failure. And third, the lack of follow through can be viewed as a form of abuse.

[prolefeedprocessor]

Some people don't like giving head. That's fine. (I love it, but I can see how it could be uncomfortable.) But you don't offer a sexual bribe and then not follow through, especially with a boyfriend/girlfriend.

If you don't wanna give head, don't offer it. It's that simple. Don't let it come out of your mouth if you're not gonna let it go in your mouth.

[L3mings]

If your gay, you never worry about the amount of blow jobs.

[delli2011]

lol, find another to suck you....

[integral]

On the other hand, if she's using bj's as coin of the realm, as in a frequent process of services for goods, then that relationship is already headed for the rocks.

[8080256256]

This video and the comments are so depressing... I would actually be more worried about the fact that she repeatedly brakes her promises to her significant other then about the actual blowjobs.

[MagnusIan]

The blowjob is a lie.

[OtherGonzo]

I'd call her on it, when she says she'll give you a blow job say "don't promise what you won't follow through on"

[Ryushai]

How about this...

"I like getting blowjobs and if I can't get them from you, I wonder who will give them to me."

[poobah1966]

welcome to married life......

[elohelreh]

*shakes head*