Let's Take A Long Look At Last Alert 5/7

[VGclass]

13:31

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Guy Kazama."

[DarkstarOfLost]

1:20 You can see her nipples through that dress... -_-

[Urmean15]

SAVE

ALL

MANKIND

[somepartsareme]

I think the level after Mad Thunder is "The Jolteon of Let's Play"

[AlkalineBatterien]

Did they even try with this Vulcan Dracula? His voice acting is horrible!

[mclame22]

"I've planted explosives on this ship... We'll use that to look for the real Steve."

Wait, what?

[ZBlayde]

Actually, not all flamethrowers need oxygen in the atmosphere. They just come with their own supply. I believe the flamethrowers in Dead Space were like this, even though in-game they didn't work in space.

[evrbody]

Next level is Buff Rockchest.

[DaRkLoRdZoRc]

10:41 "Yaranai ka?"

[MrGuyPwnsYou]

Why do all the birds in this game explode, dead or alive?

[netsurferx1]

Well, at least you're not too "sting-ee" to give this game a MST3K treatment.

[zzyzx0788]

"As the President of the United States, I ask you: save all mankind."

That wasn't a question...

[Darknightzaku]

See you in herr Guy Kazama.

[KKoserYaks]

8:17 That guy's the president? ...Yup, that's definitely Bush Sr...

[SirTotallyAwesome]

EARNEST EVANS GOES TO THE MOON

sidfocus lasersoft or whatever, retsupurae, and project wolfteam must team up to make that game

now

[JDWtri]

I've been invited to a cruise ship party, better plant explosives LOL Wut?

[Kuronji]

Fuck it guys...Super Hero!

[YayapLives]

Am i the only one annoyed that the moon's first boss' 4 mouthed rocket launcher just shoots 3 bullets at a time much less rockets?

[Prometheusmfd]

The caterers for the ship clearly got the chickens from the same jungle Black was in

[Mantis47]

Man, Garcia is fucking wasted.

[TheVenhammer]

"We'll use these explosives to look for the real Steve."

Wut?

[lobsopdoy]

Guy Kazama died and then was brought back as Guy Kazama the White.

[ChrisGladiatorGames]

Seriously, Guy Kazama (sp?) sounds like Adam West

[KamikaziNinjaStriker]

Anyone else keep watching to see what each new rank/class would be?

[MisterSkavato]

Let. Me. Be. Your. Opponent. Now.

[leviathan1173]

I think those guys at the end look like postmen.

"I'm going to DELIVER your death, Guy Kazama!"

[artman40]

@leviathan1173 At which point the Kazama replies:

"No, I'm going to deliver YOUR death instead!"

[chosentonessournotes]

@leviathan1173 "Oh yeah? Well this delivery will be marked RETURN TO SENDER."

"SHIT. NOT READY FOR THIS."

[CommanderMantis]

"GUY KAZAMA! I AM A GIANT BLUE SPHERE! I WILL THROW YOU INTO SPACE AFTER I GET YOU!"

"NO THANKS! I PREFER MY SPHERES RED! WITH BLOOD!"

[troysson81]

@CommanderMantis:

Guy Kazama discovers Blue Sphere in Sonic 3?

[artman40]

@CommanderMantis This should have been in this game.

[Etank800]

I was hoping the Bio Monster would be voice acted by the hostage in the first level WAKA WAKA

[ZoomingDakota]

Garcia is like the Penguin in Batman Returns: every other second he's not talking he's making some weird grunting noise.

[dowmein]

aeiou

[lobsopdoy]

Garcia: Yeah I'm drunk so wut?

[CommanderMantis]

@lobsopdoy

Garcia really started hitting the bottle after Chariman Steve died. The loss of Steve hit him hard.

[GirRulesTheInternet]

the president looks kind of like the house dood XD

[Darkmatt717]

Oh. The final stages take place in the fortress in Megaman X2. Okay.

[NocturneofSerenity]

Is Garcia autistic?

[lobsopdoy]

@NocturneofSerenity

No, just drunk.

[DoctorDoomlittle]

Does Garcia sound like the clown from death trap to anyone else?

[posthumanfetus]

He sounds like John Wayne.

As the president of the united states, I ask you, please save all mankind.

[cyberhoodlum]

That main villain sounds like a mix between Beavis and Butthead and Bill Cosby.

[TotalSimpleton]

In order to celebrate stopping all terrorism in the world, Guy Kazama... commits an act of terrorism.

[TheFryBoy1]

after seeing "Mad Thunder", i was hoping the next rank was "Slightly Irritated Lightning"

[WilliamLongfellow]

8:30 Whose third arm is on her shoulder?

[AgentCack]

The next level is Super Private 1st Class!

[steveharley0345]

7:20 - I was expecting to hear:

GRA HA HAA THIS IS BOWSURH 'ERE

[steveharley0345]

They'll never know... THAT I'M HIDING RIGHT HERE ON YOUTUBE

[snappy2332]

LOLOL @1:10 nipples. you thought no one would hear you, but i did....

[BananaFort]

Garcia's voice kinda sounds like ElectricalBeast's impression of Bowser...

[CommanderElerium]

@BananaFort

Note the similarities:

Both are masters of TELEPOR technology

Garcia is a snatcher elf while ElectricalBeast is a magical British elf

Both try to sound like Saturday morning cartoon villains in the same exact way

It's like Last Alert was foreshadow of what was to come.

[peacelater]

marshal to marshall is like colour to color

[machriderx]

i just noticed the Yaranaika

oh god no

[BigJuicyx3]

"I'll throw you into the sea once I get you!"

Or you could wait until the ship sinks, thanks to Guys brilliant plan.

[Goodguy33]

Yaranaika!

. . .ew..

[txboinsf]

You know, I just want to know why EVERY villain feels the need to tell you their plan. Oh no, we'll take it one step further & show you the plans to my device....just so, you know, you can go & dismantle it.

[iendedyoui]

Let's blow up the ship to stop terrorism!

[TheDeathnotejunkie]

im still dieing one day later

[smooches0713]

watch out for that beamos

[Sklarvv]

nipples



[SergeiEisenstein]

Diabetus laughed more times in this video than he has in most of the other retsupuraes combined.

[TheDeathnotejunkie]

I think I died laughing when Garcia spoke

[SamuraiFoochs]

"We'll blow this ship the fuck up in an effort to find THE REAL STEVE!"

[WindPillowDB]

Urideka!

[harlequin2262]

This reminds me of MST3000

[MalamiteLtd]

Steve's bullets come from where?

Level 21: SNAKE EATER

[TheGravitationist]

7:05 Damn that's an awkward pause........

[antisadism]

Enerst goes to the moon.

[Geoxile]

How could he have stopped all terrorism in the world if HE IS A TERRORIST!

[Dyz7]

The voice acting and dialogue in this game sounds like it came from 15 year olds acting out their newest fanfic.

[xValis77x]

1:11 Nipples ^_^

[LovelesEntertainment]

@xValis77x

I'm mad at your nipples. GRR.

[FerretTheFuzzles]

1:23-1:25

Guy?

Gai?

Xin?

Bone Shredding.

[EponymousKid]

"I am totally a Republic serial villain. Allow me to explain my masterstroke while there remains a significant chance of you affecting its outcome. I'm doing it 24 hours from now."

...Why? Why would you do that?

[Zakuzelo]

Good god, Garcia, you are the worst super villain ever. I don't even know where to begin.

[ChrisStavros]

He isn't saying you can't trust Leonard. He's saying "You can never trust, Leonard", which is an awkward translation from the original intent which is "Don't be so sure, Leonard".

It's a response to Leonard saying "I know you can do it."

[emperor20]

Is Guy Kazama a bad enough dude to save all mankind?

[WilliamLongfellow]

At least there wasn't any stripper mini-game.

[AndyRichterLUE]

"That was a poorly thought out plan!"

Diabetus, that clearly describes everything Guy Kazama does.

[NCHammer326]

8:12

Still pursuing his evil plans in spite of his lung cancer...maybe HE's the real hero of this story.

[MrAnders0n2]

I totally want the soundtrack to this game.

[bbqplatypus318]

Garcia talks like he's fucking bombed. I've gotta hand it to him - it's a pretty ballsy move to go on a day-long bender in the middle of your plot for world conquest.

[gilmour6754]

I HAVE BUILT THE GREATEST WEAPON! HERE, I WILL SHOW YOU THE BLUEPRINTS!!!

Why do shitty villains always do that?

[CNUanMan]

@gilmour6754 He was probably scared that they wouldn't've believed him. He needed proof to back up his claims.

[ToHoldNothing]

Garcia sounds suspiciously like John Wayne

[lawlandorder]

Did he just say Yaranaika?

Like that one gay comic thing from Japan, with the dude who unzips his clothes on a bench?

Hahahaha

[Bloodlyshiva]

@lawlandorder The phrase means 'Let's do it'.

[machriderx]

Also that white hair guy sounds like DR WAHWEE

[machriderx]

er I meant Dr. Light from Mega Man 8

[streeterville773]

@machriderx The guy in the very beginning introducing the Force Project sounds like the general from X4. They probably used the same actors for this game.

[machriderx]

I hate it when people are STING-EE about money

[DvDangerous]

Watch out for those Beamos.

[MalchikBlue]

nipples...

[ZombieRaymoo]

(n+1) Commodore

[MaverickLoneshark]

天上一！

[kdcomics]

if he has to stop all terrorists then shouldn't he kill himself!? he blew up a fucking ship!!!

[Maxywaxy60]

Imagine ElectricalBeast voicing the white-haired guy.

[TheToast7]

This story reminds me of a really bad fanfic. And by that I mean really good.

[GlinkLegend]

Did LPers voice these guys?

[rjakobi]

HOLY CRAP THE BOAT EXPLODED!

I guess if you got rid of all terrorism, you'd have to become a terrorist yourself, eh?

[Narrator007]

@rjakobi With all the terrorists in the world gone, a terrorist attack is the LAST thing they'd expect. BRILLIANT!

[Pooky1991]

The true video game version of RamboXD

[PickpocketSan]

He had to leave that delicious banquet because it had roast pork in it.

[VVD]

I can't believe this game was based on a true story

[ggamer2004]

"Find the real Steve." Steve went away to college. Joe took over blues clues. Stop rubbing in this hard memory from my childhood.

[Amatiramisu]

So wait

If this is on a moon base that's going to nuke the earth from orbit

why is there a biomonster? what possible purpose could it serve

[blackkakari]

Seeing that turkey explode, I can only imagine the gas pain you'd get if you ate it.

[nitendubsinc]

its a dragon fighting a tiger

[deemo665]

Those are some atomic nipples.

[EclipseHedgehog]

the acting is so poetic and powerful I think I shed tears of manliness. its almost as good as the megaman acting!

[MidnightVoyager]

Okay, I am pretty sure that Dark is actually the guy who died in the very beginning of the game. The "friend" that Kazama grieving in a ho-yay manner.

Problem: They never said his name. Ever. Jesus Christ.

Also, the Steve thing reminds me of MST3K's Night of the Blood Beast. You Steve or me Steve?

[fearstar31]

Wait... Last Alert.....Final Command?

So, would someone explain to me why that WASN'T the last level?

[SirPainsalot]

"Ret me be your opponent now."

Retsupurae?

[coffeeninja88]

The president of the United States has clearly been slamming Valium every day of his life. He is taking this all in stride surprisingly well.

[CaptainZM]

They have to be trying to sound that bad. Nobody voice acts that bad unless they didn't want to be there.

[Asbduhas]

Oh, herro there, bratant Asian Sterotype.

[callinstead09]

We must stop all terrorism!! By planting a bomb on a cruise ship!! LOLOLOL!!!!

[EGRJ]

It's almost as if they cut and pasted elements from every 80s action blockbuster, and tied them together with a paper thin excuse plot.

Except without the "almost".

[gonegonego]

I cried laughing when the ship exploded.

[GregEdgar88]

"You can never trust Leonard"

...Umm, isn't he the guy in the blue suit and sunglasses who is STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO THEM WHILE THEY ARE SAYING THIS???

[MadSurge]

This ranking system is so ludicrous that it looks like the one in Duty Calls. "Sergeant of the Master Sergeants Most Important Person of Extreme Sergeants To The Max!!!!"

[TheNerdOmega]

"So where do you go from here?"

"GOD!" lol ( 12:08 )

[bobbyewing311]

lmfao "it's fairly obvious I'm on the moon"

[bloodriotiori]

the other videos aren't going to be worth watching...there's not gonna be anymore level up jokes now :'(

[EponymousKid]

Guy can outrun bullets and lasers, making him almost half as fast as Jack Slate.

[MrXegek]

Are those droid things Daleks? I guess even they can't exterminate a former Tank Buster...

[rocco777]

It sounds like all the male characters were voiced by the same terrible "voice actor." It was probably the programmer who spoke the best english...

[KovnikKris]

I think that moon guy ment Eureka

[starsoldier1]

Blue Gem computers are not very stingy

[posthumanfetus]

I have a pet bee named Stingy.

[EponymousKid]

I also forgot about Final Command. Frankly... Mad Thunder is still funnier.

Still, I love how Final Command isn't the final rank.

[AlexanderEsa]

The final rank better be JESUS

[ahshorn]

Grah Ha ha! This is Garcia! Can you pass my evil test?

[dowap7]

7:20 "This is bowsa 'ere!

[kholsinger]

Ooh, looky. The Okama Gamesphere, years before South Park thought it up.

[SuperJeenius]

The worst part about the gem computer... they are already making hard drives out of crystal.

[Isaacian27]

Uraideka? What in the...?

[TheBrianJ]

"Find the real Steve" is the best mission objective I've ever heard.  It makes me imagine this smoky back room of CIA Headquarters, where the boss, chomping on a cigar, pounds the desk and screams "Dammit, we have to get STEVE"

[EponymousKid]

Although I guess I forgot about "Metal Soldier", that's also completely fabricated. It's just not as ridiculous as Mad Thunder.

I'm not counting "Full Armor Guy" or "Heavy Warrior" because they were clearly TRYING with those. With Mad Thunder and Super Hero they just gave up, and God bless them for that.

[3Gyro]

@EponymousKid I don't think they were trying at any point in this process.

[EponymousKid]

"Mad Thunder" is my absolute favorite rank. Because it's a completely nonsense phrase, it doesn't mean anything. "Tank Buster", "Sharpshooter", "Major General"... those all actually exist. "Mad Thunder" is something this game just made up, which is why it's the best of the bunch.

[troysson81]

@EponymousKid:

Hold on, Tank Buster's a thing?

[EponymousKid]

@troysson81 It's not like an official rank or anything but it refers to anti-tank specialists.

[Archdeco]

Pointy ear guy sounds like ElectricalBeast's Bowser!

[mattr75]

I'm guessing destruction activities is the new name for extracurricular activities.

[Groudon0199]

So what's Guy Kazama's superpower? Infinite ammunition?

[RoyStorey]

You're being too steengy.

[givemeabreak432]

Level 19 is the cap....

[McBawse]

Explosive turkey on the floor was obviously a chicken from one of the previous levels.

[McBawse]

*whisper* nipples.

[somahiru]

ONE SUPER HERO MAN ARMY MARSHALL METAL ARMORED TANK BUSTER SNIPER SHARPSHOOTER GOD!!

I would love that as the final rank c:

[ACDCGAMER]

@somahiru What about "Sergeant Sergeant Master Sergeant Shooter Person?" :P

[somahiru]

@ACDCGAMER naah, that's a minor rank for Guy Kazama

[AirTylerFilms]

@somahiru How could you forget the mad thunder rank!

[TheShadowCookie]

Garcia or whatever his name is is my new favorite VA in all of human history.

Jeheha eeeeeeah. HIiimhih haaaaaa. Yeeeaaaa. Hiihiehahhe. Heehehe.

Why? What is with the laugh? xD Shesh, that guy is so brilliant.

[Overmayor]

The final level should have been Mayor of Earth.

[DaRkLoRdZoRc]

I like how Steve sends a doppelganger in his place on the Titanic for security purposes and then he just goes and tags along in the ship's cargo hold himself. This plan was totally brilliant and not at all pointless!

[Unclevertitle]

"Ernest goes to the moon."

Ha!

[DruoxTheShredder]

"Biomonster...does that also have voice acting?"

"...Let's hope so." You read my mind.

I love this. It doesn't matter whether it's a bad let's play or a bad video game. If it's bad, when you guys retsuprae it, it's perfect.

Thank you for doing this.

[Moondogg22]

"As the President of the United States...I ask you...save all mankind."

Epic.

[Deckof51]

Did they bring back Hillbilly John Wayne just to be in this game as Garcia?

[Rogueofmv]

Hmm Steve seems to have been replaced by an impostor...

I KNOW LET'S BLOW UP THE FUCKING SHIP

BOOM, BITCHES

[froggythebob]

Ballin'!

[D3Y0G33]

dat voiceacting

[BrakBoy]

ret me be your oppronant now