The Dynamic Enneagram - Tom Condon works with a Four

[shtm93]

I would cry in the end if I was her.

Btw, are you sure that she's a 4? She might not be a 3w4?

[queentantrumofficial]

I'm a 4, flipping between 3 and 5 wings - I'm feeling very 5 today!

[utubenicholas]

@queentantrumofficial I suppose that why your looking at this video today.. hehe

[OdeToNecrophilia]

i a four with a five wing and i don't relate to this woman. in fact i see myself doing the opposite. i'm naturally different than others, and i don't like normal people, and normal people don't like me anyway so why would i try to get them to like me?

[ilxenu]

She looks like Jackie from "Roseanne."

And yes, she's a Four.

[Wanderer123]

I'm a 4. I'm very familiar with the issues she describes, and listening to her really gets to me...

[stellarshore]

Im no expert be she sounds 4'ish. She said "call a friend", do 4's CALL friends for support?? She seems a bit tolerant of this guys layed back attitude on such a personal topic maybe, being a four I'd have either been spiteful or distant in order for him to get up of his slouch and listen. But she does say she'll be whoever they want her to be, this is a 4, always morphing into a character for the other, its why they make great actors.

[OdeToNecrophilia]

@stellarshore i agree. she is not a four. i am a four and i'd never act like her.

[zenihita]

sounds like a 9 to me

[tomboy2290]

not a four in my opinion

[claireday]

Seems like a 4 to me!

[bradthompson86]

this woman DEFINITELY doesnt seem like a 4 to me. its easy to mistype someone if you look at the types as rigid definitions. personalities are dynamic, not rigid. at the very least, when typing someone its important to consider the directions of disintegration. in this case, i think this lady is a 1w2, disintegrating to 4. she relates to basic problems of type 4 but doesn't seem to actually be a 4.

[haolekillah]

thats what i thought too

[MomoTheBellyDancer]

Well, this just shows that all this stuff about placing people in categories just doesn't work. This woman is all over the ennegram divide, so what's the use of having such a system in the first place?

[haolekillah]

huh? you need to know how the different points interrelate with one another before you can begin to know a little bit about it. essentially what it refers to is our "attention style". in research completely seperate from the enneagram some doctors discovered that there are 9 possible attention styles humans can physiologically develop before birth. this a pretty trippy correlation to the enneagram. you kinda sound like a six by the way. but i only read your comment. check out sixes

[alegorezaalegoreza]

very good, typical four...feels so bad with the minimal rejection and interprets the slightest thing as rejection...

[qatriona8]

integrity and sensitivity grace this interview, she warmed to the experience of being met at a deep level

qatriona

[aLatenightdreamer]

itsamasquerade, the enneagram describes basic fear/defense mechanisms/ of being ect., but its not a definite science or something. you act like you know the secrets of peoples heart, can read their minds, or something.... your not god. What are you trying to prove by trying to one up everybodys identification?

[DragonFly122]

She's probably a two. She's no 4. The part where she says she "gets inside" of other people and believes that she intutively knows what other people needs gives her away. I could be wrong...

[athiria]

Why is she not a 4?

[DragonflyAGK]

I was hoping for more from Tom Condon--I didn't see him do any "work" with her, type 4 or not. Disappointing.

[NSO82]

that guy is a piece of shit

[DragonFly122]

"I have to justify my being everywhere"

I often identify with that statement.

3w4

[Doggieman1111]

Christ these people are so self-absorbed.

[streetlampsatsix]

i'm a 4 all the way and i relate to this woman's experience so intensely-- especially that part about people turning away in conversation. i'm so sensitive to people not paying attention to or ignoring my comments, and then i become very defensive and i have to make a HUGE psychological effort in order to not completely write them off and stay connected. anyone else relate?

[lewdatick25]

Im a 4 and I do the same thing. I act like someone else just so i wont be rejected. lol.

[84moonchild84]

no, she's not a 4. I'd say she's 2 or 9 (the merging with other people's feelings or sth like that she said) besides she doesn't LOOK like a four (all 4s should know what I mean ;)

[sayhell0]

I agree, there's something very non four-ish about her.

[bLaSsSlAyEr]

no...she's disconnect to both parental figure...she's a four...she have a sad childhood...she seems to be sad...moody...

[riteasrain]

borrrrrrrring.... she's not a 4 by any stretch of the imagination. I should know.... heheheheheheh

[joe23742]

She's not a four. She's an 8w9 sort of dykey, using her seven wing to make this all up so she can attract a four male who will end up being sort of gay. She needs to grow those bangs out and loosen up.

[nastied]

ROFL

[sirigi22]

I`m a 4x3. Didn`t know so many celebrities were.

[HowardTheFrog]

how you find out what number you are? perhaps my naive inquisitiveness already has given me a number. lol

[Magnum3579]

This Talking would answered by GURDJIEFF :Talking from the empty in the void!

[DragonFly122]

I am a either a 5 or a 7. I feel the same as the woman(she sounds more like a five to me).

[DragonFly122]

Scratch that, I've been trying to narrow down my type.

I usually fall between a 3,4,5,and 7. I can identify with 3w4.

[itsaMASQUERADE]

Some REAL 4's 4/3's: Marilyn Monroe, Julia Roberts, Tyra Banks, Ricky Martin, Reese Witherspoon, Terri Hatcher, Sandra Bullock, Sheena Easton, Barbara Eden, Tori Spelling, Richard Chamberlain, Johnny Depp, Wentworth MIller,

Famke Janssen, Ellen Burstyn, Selma Blair,

Marlo Thomas, Beyonce, Jennie Garth, Kim Fields, Paul Simon.

4/5's: Annie Lennox, Macy Gray, Winona Ryder, Beck, Bronson Pinchot, Michael Jackson, Nathan Berkus, Jason Schwartzman, Tori Amos,

Eric McCormick

[itsaMASQUERADE]

Correction- Jennie Garth is an 8/9.

[itsaMASQUERADE]

SHE IS A 1 WITH 2 WING !!!! ARGHH! People R so dense. 1's always gripe about what's fair & not. They live for it. It's a control tactic.

My God! she has a freaking note pad with lists of her issues. She expects Condon to

work for her. She came prepared 4 business. She dresses PLAIN because she thinks it's more modest & tasteful. (anti 4) She is not an 8, because 8's don't like 2 look like victims. She is not a gushy 2, or an easygoing 9.

4's tend 2 B INFJ, INFP

[itsaMASQUERADE]

In general:

8's sensual, strong

5's shrewd, questioning

3's savvy, ambitious

7's spontaneous, witty

4's private, sentimental, touchy, sweet, shy

6's playful, edgy

2's "nice," chipper

9's detached, casual

1's Often too serious or moody, hunting 4 faults (primarily around them),  seek control, order, "correction," & compensation Not easily contented Underlying agendas & anger issues Humorless or humor tainted with hostilty

[itsaMASQUERADE]

4's R secretly obsessed with beauty & aesthetics. It's odd 2 have this feeling. It doesn't come & go as 4 others.

It's constant. 4's worry that they aren't beautiful, so ART becomes a symbolic preoccupation. "What is beauty? " Their 3 wing makes them stylish & vain. Their 5 wing makes them nerdy & philosphical.

A 4 is really a 3,4,5 mixed together. U can't say you are a 4, but not a 3 or 5,

unless you're full of crap. You must identify

with all. Only about 3% of pop.

[itsaMASQUERADE]

If you don't study people, analyze people, & discuss it frequently with others to learn, you will NOT be good at typing others. It takes years, even if you're smart & intuitive. You R making up your own descriptions.

The stereotypes R only meant 2 B helpful hints, not MASKS to hide behind. Picking & choosing qualities to find ur type is a BAD sign. Many enneagram tests available R a safer option. Mistyping is the biggest problem with this subject. 3,4,5,6 R least common.

[rbtoo170191]

@itsaMASQUERADE Just two Questions:

Can you tell us (me) what's your type?

Again you. Are enneatypes something you were born with or something you build in your childhood (something similar)? I was wondering, if it's the first option, Why there are so few of 3,4,5,6 (I guess that were the ones you mentioned)? (I said 2 questions, Shame on me xD).

By the way, I'm (or at least I think I'm) a 1, maybe 9 wing. At first, I thought I was 4w5, I'm not sure.

Am I being rude? (as a potential 1) :3

[Zapperbazzer]

I don't get how you think you can tell what enneatype someone is from what they wear. Im a four and I dress like a "normal" person, ie, plain and not attention seeking,alot. I know fours are supposed to be unique and all, but it doesn't mean we always look like we're going to a mardi gras! And it isn't impossible for fours to use a notepad either, think about the enneagram in terms of what motivates people. People of the same type can be very different from one another.

[itsaMASQUERADE]

Clothes R just clues, but not conclusive.

She isn't dressed like a "normal" 4. She's dressed like a "normal" 1. It's possible she tricked me, but it's not probable. The notepad is an extra clue, but not conclusive. Her complaing about being teased as if that were horribly painful is neurotic control of others. Condon is teasing her to make a point, but she doesn't want to listen.

That's why she gets teased. She can't

play along.

1's do that a lot.

It's not typical of a 4.

[athiria]

Heh, you who know that much, whats the ultimate test about knowing if youre a 4? ;P

[itsaMASQUERADE]

Correction? Sandra Bullock 4/5. She is

pushing the 3 thing though.

[itsaMASQUERADE]

She's not a 4. It's absurd to think only 4's feel rejected. Your type has nothing to do with your life experience. Some 4's have very happy childhoods. I think she's a 1x2 (disintegrating) because she is controlling, dictating and emotional. At least Tom C. pointed out her 2

behaviors. Of course, she DIDN'T like that !

She reminds me of Lori Metcalf from the ROSEANNE show 1x2. 1's are everywhere! representing

nearly 20% of the population. 4's are only

about 2%.

[itsaMASQUERADE]

(sp) Laurie Metcalf 1x2

[NWKklown]

I'm a four with a very strong five wing. I would not felt the best, just as the lady felt, at the end of the video.

its kind of cool being a four but it can suck so much, too.

[FADEproductions]

-one more thing-

At the end of the video when the interviewer jokingly turns away, everyone laughs (including the woman being interviewed) but I'll bet you a million dollars that she feels incredibly embarrassed. She looks away and rubs her leg because she feels uncomfortable. She probably interpreted his actions as him not taking her seriously. Of course, he doesn't realize this because he is not intuitive like a type 4. :)

[sayhell0]

I would have been highly annoyed at him for doing that. I hate those type of jokes where church type people take advantage of being in front of a crowd to 'tease' you in a way that's not funny at all...I always feel bad for the person who's being teased, because they're the only one in the room who is affected by it in that way and they feel to rpessure to laugh and 'be a sport about it' when it's really just stupid.

[FADEproductions]

(continued)

As a four, I feel as if I must constantly validate my presence everywhere I go. I never feel as if I truly belong. I also feel as if I must entertain people in order to hold their attention because they are not truly interested in anything I have to say.

Being a four can suck. Hard. But I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world.

:)

[lewdatick25]

I agree :D

[FADEproductions]

Watching this woman was like watching a mirror image of myself. We have similar speech patterns and tend to use a lot of hand gestures when speaking. Notice the way she shakes her legs or rubs her left leg whenever she is feeling nervous or uncomfortable. I tend to do the same thing. I also have a tendency to look away from the person I'm talking to because I am usually in deep thought, which probably attributes to my "aloof" appearance.