Christopher Hitchens on The Ten Commandments - Vanity Fair

[Harryclownie]

lol... he's drunk

[thedeeliciousplum]

This was wonderful.

With Mr. Christopher Hitchens' warranted commandment revisions, with the wonderful AC Grayling's "The Good Book: A Secular Bible" and with the meaningful deist Thomas Jefferson's "The Jefferson's Bible", just to name a few, our species has so much to celebrate. So, so much.

[FoolyCoolyMabase]

This guy sounds exactly like the guy who announces the new technologies in Civilization IV

[elinorahumada]

This is exactly what i was looking for.

[sonuEEE]

I love Hitchens,, Please live longer..

[Fokface7]

"Turn off that fucking cellphone."

I loled.

[northoforacle]

"Don't swallow your moral code in tablet form"

Agreed.

[o0mesopelagic0o]

I would count this among Hitchens's finer moments. Not only is it an intellectual evisceration, but it is funny to boot.

[rerite2]

brilliant. Funny. Dream movie idea: a sequel to the Big Lebowski where the Dude, Walter and Hitchens team up to solve a mystery.

[Crunchy68]

"Don't swallow your moral code in tablet form."

GENIUS!

[centurion180ad]

The second is put into practice every day by lots of people, in all too real ways.

I am sorry that you don't care to seek God. He's there, all you have to do is look with some care.

[Crunchy68]

@centurion180ad Honest question: if "a good tree shall be known by it's fruits", and "the fruits of the spirit are patience, kindness, love, joy, peace, gentleness" etc, then would you agree that anyone who has and displays those "fruits of the spirit" must therefore be a "good tree" (and likewise that anyone NOT displaying them would NOT be a "good tree")?

[centurion180ad]

@Crunchy68 I'd say (and I mean I speak only for myself) that the former is true, and the later is not necessairly true but would depend on later actions.

[Crunchy68]

@centurion180ad I appreciate your perspective. Would you mind clarifying a bit for me what you mean by "former" and "latter"? I'm not sure which parts of what I said are what you refer to.

[xn117]

awesome!

[BlakeC94]

Excellent.

[centurion180ad]

Dear Mister Hitchens, the 10 commandments were superceeded in the New Testament. There are now only 2 commandments, that Jesus has revealed to us passed down through the centuries by his church.

[123Atheist]

@centurion180ad No i'm pretty sure that Jesus said that you still need to follow the 10 commandments. And those two were just the most important, not the only ones that should be followed. And those two were from the Old Testament anyway.

[centurion180ad]

@123Atheist I'm not writing about my opinion, I'm writing about protestant Episcopalian doctrine. This is strait dogma out of the Archdiocese where I was taught.

After the coming of Christ he gave to his disciples his 2 commandments, which are hammered home in the Book of Common Prayer, and those 2 supersede the 10 commandments. The divison between the old & new testaments is a clean break between the law of Moses, and the salvation of Christ.

[boyinthedrain]

@centurion180ad

"the 10 commandments were superceeded in the New Testament"

Looks like someone didn't read their Bible.

Read Mark 7:10

Matthew 5:18

Jesus himself said ALL the commandments (including all the crazy ones like stoning your unruly children) are still in play.

(Why is it that atheists always know the Bible better than Theists?)

[centurion180ad]

@boyinthedrain Very clever mister atheist, but being an actual Protestant entails more than cherry picking a few quotes and then misapplying them.

To be a Protestant you must attend church, be baptized, go to Sunday school, go to confirmation classes, be confirmed, take first communion, and then PARTICIPATE with a priest and his congregation.

Your schoolboy question “but what about the 10 commandments,” was answered by my priest. Christ’s 2 commandments supersede them. Period. End.

[boyinthedrain]

@centurion180ad

"picking a few quotes and then misapplying them"

Um... how were they misapplied.

Jesus said ALL the commandments were still in play including the f---ed up ones like stoning your unruly kids.

I didn't write that, Jesus did. If you have a quarrel, take it up with the people who wrote the Bible, not people who actually read it.

"To be a Protestant you must attend church, be baptized"

I see nothing there about being a good person

Just about joining a club

[centurion180ad]

@boyinthedrain Let me be clear. What I am telling you is that to be an actual Protestant I, you or anyone else does not go off on our own, cherry pick a couple of Bible quotes, and then misapply them in our current time in our current circumstances in a vacuum.

There is a relationship with God, with a Priest, with a congregation, with a Christian community and our larger monotheistic world. Feel free to sign off with my apology for wasting your bandwidth.

[boyinthedrain]

@centurion180ad

"then misapply them"

How were they misappled?

"There is a relationship with God, with a Priest"

Why do I need a middle man?

How do I know that Priest is speaking for God or if they have their own ulterior motives?

Doesn't it seem odd that so many religious people have a political axe to grind and then put the ole "This is what God wants" label on it?

If God wants it, then God should speak up.

Doesn't God know He has a lot of con men speaking for him?

[Crunchy68]

@centurion180ad "Christ's 2 commandments supersede [the ten commandments of Moses]."

So... what you're saying is that the ten commandments were given at an earlier time for which God should not be held responsible, because he hadn't got religion yet?

[centurion180ad]

@Crunchy68 That is not what I am saying. What I am saying is that the original 10 have been absorbed into the new 2, by the coming of Christ.

[boyinthedrain]

@centurion180ad

"the original 10 have been absorbed into the new 2, by the coming of Christ"

Not according to the Bible

If you disobey even the smallest commandment, according to Jesus, you are Hell bound.

I'll save you room by the pool of fire with the rest of us sinners

[VaiRoth]

@centurion180ad What are they?

[centurion180ad]

@VaiRoth 1. Love thy God with all thy Heart, all thy Soul, and all thy Mind.

2. Love thy neighbor, as thy Self.

[VaiRoth]

@centurion180ad Thanks,dont believe in god ,the second is impossible for any human,but the sentiment is still valuable,later

[TheCelticChimp]

@centurion180ad

These two "commandments" as such gibberish, it would be embarrasing to have come up with them.

Both are impossible. You cannot decide to love someone, nor can you decide the degree to which you someone. Imagine being such a tit that you think you order someone else to love another person and even dictate how much they should love them.

Jesus was a crazy hippie with foolish notions.

Also, what about loving your enemies or those who oppress you?

[gupsphoo]

I'm glad our secular laws aren't based on the Bronze Age myths of Christianity. Otherwise we would be punished for working on Sundays, but allowed to keep slaves and molest children.

[lukeraynor85]

10 commandments copied straight from eygptian myths..

[TheBoyFromNorfolk]

Don't swallow your morals in Tablet form FTW!

[LordEsel88]

Instant fav!

[Skandalos]

Good speaker but too much of a couch potatoe to make a noticable impact on politics or future of man.

[AcousticTyGuy]

carlin's version was great, but i like this too. hitchens is normally an excpetionally smooth speaker, perhaps he's just a little out of his element when not talking directly to someone face to face

[mooseguy62]

Hitch is da man !!

[xqeenx]

I love Hitchens. he's so clever :)

however, he should have put after comandment 1: Do not condemn people based on their ethnicity colour or **Gender**. he totally missed gender equality.

[apot082]

@therealfrostie

Dont be so thick

"dont even think about it" is an expression

He doesnt literally mean dont THINK about

[TheRealFrostie]

commandment 3 makes us guilty of thought crime

[cagv818]

goddamn brilliant!!

[luarionte]

Thou shalt turn off the fucking cellphone!!!!

Best Commandment ever!!!

Hitchins FTW!!!!!

[dondude69]

# 8 FTW!

[kansaimagic]

Cheers man for posting the 1 GOD MORE KANSAIMAGIC song on your website.

[HarrynJessie]

just aswesome! i especially liked his #8! i feel like this all the time!

[Hexdoll]

Hitchens is the intellectual James Bond.

[TheCelticChimp]

@Hexdoll

true, though he slipped up with his slavery commandment by starting it off with "don't even think about...." oops injected a tiny bit of thought crime by accident :)

[EminemBase]

Hitchens is class.

[braydenbeautiful]

@EminemBase

Hitchens is truly class.

Agreed.

[illusion2k10]

How hitchens manages to be both sexy and educational at the same time, while speaking of such a serious topic, is a question for the ages.

[ristan57]

Christopher Hitchens is my hero!!!

[Serpent257]

I like "Hitch", but I have to slam him on this one. He chastises number 10 for being a thought-crime punishment, and then he turns around and suggests, "don't even think about using people..."

Serpent

[switchee]

@Serpent257 Did you also think "turn off that fucking cellphone" was a serious moral injunction? He's not writing an ethical treatise, he's making a fun video.

[luarionte]

@switchee

"he's making a fun video"??

Dont be so sure about that!

Just because #8 was a joke (with i think it really WASN'T) doesnt meant that the other were too!!!

[stevao]

@Serpent257

really? I Imagine he was trying different phrases for 'do not'. Hitch must be worried about this 'slam'.

@switchee, i agree but its still a hell of alot better than the original

[crowesarethebest]

Thank you Mr. Hitchens. Keep it up please!

[reinforcedpenisstem]

Does he mean turn off the cell phone for good? Or does he mean keep it silent?

I like this video.

[jxxybxxy2002]

Sharp as a tack, but he looks like he needs a good rest. Needs to cut down on the JW Black!. Love you Hitch, please take care of your health, we need you!

[lalanaseminole]

As always,Hitchens gives a great package,with a huge dose of common sense,mixed with a bit of lighthearted satire(# 8 commandment).Love him or loathe him,so much of what he says makes so much sense.

[aLOVINGinfidel]

What you have to believe if you are a Darwinian and a Christian, is that an omnipotent entity chose natural selection as the vehicle to create the human.

How can anyone believe that an all powerful being would be so lazy and wasteful?

You can pick up any novel and ponder on the magnificence of the allegory's that you decide to find, that support and bolster further, any delusion you wish .

Our solipsistic nature has always preferred even a bogus explanation rather than none at all.

[TheNicomacheanEthics]

Take me now, HItch you bad man!

[sewpr512]

awesome!

[GordonWolters]

Hard to tell, but he is in his glory in this vid. Thou shall turn off thy fucking cell phone, thats gotta be #1 for sure.

[Theprinceofponeage]

Concise, witty, and entertaining. Well done Mr Hitchens. :)

[fishnchimps]

My god, does, this man never smile?

Still, good work from the Hitch

[BillKiernan]

@fishnchimps he smirks from time to time

[Darvinisti]

Do not condemn people for their inborn nature? So raping and murder is not be condemned if they are inborn? Or we shouldnt condemn the craving for violence?

[wjcapehart]

I thought Rape and Murder were career choices.

[Albtraumen]

Concise and caustic while being humerous, only Hitch can pull this one off with such style.

I'll take his 10 commandments over the other set on any day that ends with a y!

[shibamatachick]

Christianity is such a soft target. Rip the Koran to shreds.

[comface]

That's just as easy.... but not as relevant to a western audience.

[HarrynJessie]

@shibamatachick i'd have thought that nowadays Islam was a much softer target

[jeremyshambles]

i cant wait to read the entire article. this was utterly brilliant and thanks kindly for sharing, cheers

[listenthinkspeak]

7:28 Jesus PWNS u! LoL

[ExtremeBogom]

that was good lol

[JordanKimball]

Hitchens' ten commandments were very good. Especially # 8 lol

[aguteempasil]

once again the Hitch has hit the nail on the head. Bravo!

[F33bs]

Closed Caption fail.

[taxmonkey123]

Haha, try out the new feature, transcriptions. Fucking hilarious in this video.

[FreeInquisition]

Lol you're right, never tried that before. I thought "I wonder what this does..."

Hilarity ensues.

[faraz1729]

Hahaha, incredible!

[glennd7962]

I love him, but why can't he get a decent haircut?

[8DX]

He has a special haircut designed to put focus on what's INSIDE the head.. and what the face expresses, rather than to be stylish in itself. ;)

[ExtremeBogom]

excellent comment lol

[MultiUniv3rsal]

AHAHAHA Turn off the cell phone fucking KILLED me man!

Brilliant and an instant favorite. Keep it coming.

[psycropticunt]

Brilliant!

[nonameisacat]

Hitch is looking good.

[dcole2]

Bra....vo. Mr. Hitchens, you are sublime. Wish that our paths might cross someday, I would like to buy you a refreshing beverage at any nearby pub.

[flipperth1]

What's going on with his hair?

[HappysmokeSmoke]

EPIC

[Katalyzt]

Hitchens Ten Commandments are much better. ;O) ★★★★★

Katalyzt

[anikinippon]

Fucking AWESOME! Never seen this, I love it.

[ozitenor]

Wonderful. Unfortunately, Hitchens' second commandment is itself phrased as a thought crime. Rephrase this as "do not" as opposed to "do not even think of" and this is a brilliant thesis. I raise my tumbler of Johnny Walker Black to this great 8 minutes of Hitchens!

[ozitenor]

now I think about it more, to answer myself!, he is not advocating thought crime as he is giving 10 (9 serious ones) moral touchstones - rather than the 10 commandments which are actually specific directives with specified punishments for disobedience. There is no stoning for coveting (or eternal barbecuing) there is simply a moral touchstone to be consciously repulsed by even the "thought" of slavery etc. Nonetheless, I rather wish he had avoided the nomenclature of regulating thought.

[MultiUniv3rsal]

Lol I immediately picked up on that, but contextually it's the same as if you were in a fight and told the other guy 'don't even think about it, man'

That's just casual language :)

Much like how often I find myself exclaiming OMG! or sighing 'geez' without making the words mean anything more than an expression of frustration.

[MultiUniv3rsal]

"Do not ever use people as private property"

Mined from the article, so I suppose a bit of a short-sighted ad-lib. No mention of think.

[F33bs]

His second commandment is talking about slavery, which is wrong and unjust under any circumstance. Thinking about doing such a thing *is* immoral.

The Tenth Commandment is forbidding thoughts of jealousy or personal desire, which isn't necessarily bad, and is often the basis for achievement. In other words, it's not always immoral to be jealous.

There is actually a marked ethical difference between them.

[SkinnerSG]

lol awesome, love number 9 !

[theinquisitor]

Strange that a few of his choices are actually thought crimes. Don't think of using human beings as slaves. For someone who is such a follower of Orwell to suggest such a thing is puzzling. Perhaps he meant it in a figurative sense.

[toelesshoe]

I take it to mean not even worth concidering. If Hitchens didn't have his tounge firmly planted in his cheek, I'm sure he would have made that much more clear

[F33bs]

"For someone who is such a follower of Orwell to suggest such a thing is puzzling"

Maybe it's because he's joking, as is abundantly obvious, and illustrating all these made-up commandments to prove that the Bible is archaic, and not a modern tool for moral thought.

Just spit-balling here...

[wjcapehart]

My bad, it was number 8.

[wjcapehart]

I love how the cellphone commandment was number 7.

[mfjeff]

that was badass

[jamesrobertdobbs]

Thanks on the cell phone commandment.

[2plus2is9]

Awesome.

[Gwisss]

lol, ".... aaaand terrible sexual repressions."

[OperationCrossroad]

"turn off that fucking cell phone".... now that's what I call divine inspiration.