Mass Effect 2 - Krogan Poetry

[OlgaKostyunina]

its more better than Vogon poetry

[Mysterbyg]

Biggest "Ladies, control your orgasms!" moment.

[SinDawg030]

I'm sorry, I know you probably put alot of effort into making you're shepard but I just can't believe he is a paragon. That beard is just so evil! It has evilly gone where no beard has gone before!

[luciusfagala]

@SinDawg030 That depends who you ask. Google "the trustworthiness of beards" and look at one of the first pictures. ;)

[SinDawg030]

@luciusfagala LOL! Its probably the beard on your Shepard combined with the eyebrows that make him look very brooding/renegade. Also it reminds me of a picture I saw of Spock's Evil Counterpard when he had a beard exactly like your Shepards! Me? I go for the full beard (as close as I can get to it anyway). Bitches love beards! Search for a thread on the Bioware Forums petitioning for full beards for ManShep in ME3. Love you're vids btw!

[Gmrbro]

Potential ME3 spoiler!!

That krogan gets KIA and you get a sidequest to deliver a rather touching poem to that asari who is still his girlfriend. found in script from the leaked beta.

[666MetalMatt]

@Gmrbro Shit really?I didnt see that in the leaked script.

[Gmrbro]

@666MetalMatt That's what I read. Perhaps there is a more complete version than the one you saw?

[bluefootwalking]

That is fucking adorable.

[Milu0000000]

Krogan poet :) It just so sweet.

[iPopcorn]

Grunt: Hand me a shotgun, im gonna kill this embarassment

[xisayg]

I am Commander Shepard and Dr.Phil is my most favorite TV show.

[Teealio]

Internet stupid aside, that was a actually. She faces the same problems of "does he really love me?!?" That everyone else faces. And seriously, I think he does. You have got to throw away a lot of pride to go screaming BAD poetry in a packed space station to win a girl over.

[523TRITO]

DUMP HIM, lawl

[RoyaCanadianInfantry]

what happens when you get the renegade option?

[RealGateGuardian]

The best comment Charr makes is definately "May our love be like thorns, so that anyone who touches will get their hands pierced when they attempt to uproot us."

Krogan Poetry rocks, I'm going to use some as a pickup line.

[sarttan]

He should have gone with a Haiku.

I will always love

The Blue Rose of Illium

Refrigerator

[TheChibiBuizel]

Roses are red

No sign of the guard

That's a nice gunship

You're working too hard.

[SethianSod]

Krogan Rock. Period

[TempestDust]

Am I the only Mass Effect player who has reacted to the fact that there are NO, ZERO, SQUAT female Turians, Salarians, Volus, Vorcha, Hanar, Elcor and (hardly) Krogans in the galaxy?? Their only love interests seem to be the slutty Asari! How natural is that?!

[sargentaaron2004]

@TempestDust That is explained in the codex....

How do you tell the difference between a male and female Hanar? They look a-sexual to me.

How do you tell the difference between male and female Vorcha, Elcor and Volus? they might all have deep voices.

Krogan females will all be on Tuchanka trying to have children,

Salarians don't live long enough, the females might stay on the homeworld, for some reason.

YOU DO see female turians....

And did you forget about Human and Quarian females...

[TempestDust]

@sargentaaron2004 Where are these female Turians you speak of?

[RealGateGuardian]

@sargentaaron2004 Where do you see the female Turians? YOu'd be right on the Hanar, since they're a-sexual. I like Zaeed's comments on the Hanar he fought.

I think the Vorcha might have higher voices, not sure about the Volus and Elcor.

I think the Krogan females are the ones who ALWAYS wear their masks. So you'd be right about the Female Krogans staying on Tuchanka.

Most Salarians are male since fertilized eggs make females and that can lead ot over population like the Drell.

[MartialArtsMaster]

@TempestDust

Well, for one thing, ma'am, not all of the Asari are slutty.

Ereba, the asari in this video, is wearing a black formal dress for example. I've seen much older women wear those kinds of dresses; they hardly count as "slutty."

[dunfalach]

@TempestDust We see a Turian attempting to get a date with a Quarian female in the bar on Illium. And there is a conversation that mentions Turian females in the same bar. There is some question as to whether the famous Techno Turian on the Citadel during Thane's mission might be female, as it uses the female dance animations, but it may just dance better. :> The Krogan females are too valuable to be allowed to leave the home world, and live in their own isolated clans for their protection.

[dunfalach]

@TempestDust Salarians take breeding alliances so seriously that the females are likely kept home as valuable trade commodities. The Elcor don't like to leave their groups much, so the females are probably mostly on their own worlds. I suppose the Volus may keep them home like the Salarians, since they treat clan members as commodities to trade and a female's value may be largely in breeding; that's just conjecture of course. Hanar all seem to look the same; couldn't say what gender they are.

[Rednex101]

Try this out:

Renegade is Red

Paragon is Blue

Assuming Direct Control

This Hurts You

[NoukonGlobal]

@Rednex101 Thats been copied and pasted so much...

I mean, is it really hard to come up with an occasional original thing?

Mordin is Red.

Liara is Blue.

Shit's Going down

In Mass Effect 2

Was that perfect? nope... hell- it wasnt even good.

But at least its original(ish).

[TempestDust]

Isn't it ironic that a species who are so genetically in tune with killing things as the Krogan have a lifespan 10 times longer than the oldest humans? Life expectancy on Tuchanka can't be too high for example, so why don't we see any young Krogans?

[bogeyatyour6]

@TempestDust because of the genophage.

The few kids around aren´t just there where you go in the game...

[TempestDust]

@bogeyatyour6 hmm... Let's hope they are at school, then (Krogan elementary school of war and death)

[bogeyatyour6]

@TempestDust Of course they are, what did you think? ;-)

[NonstopRam]

stick it out till they die what the.....

[bobbib369]

who thout krogan wrote poetry

even if it suxs... alot.

[olstar18]

@bobbib369 Believe me I have heard much worse than this and by people who have actually been paid to write poetry at that.

[AsTheDeath]

Not a realistic game? OMGWTFBBQ! oh...wait.. its a sci-fi game... it's meant to be UNREALISTIC. Also, as always you get a discount. Am I the only one who thinks that's kinda an odd way to thank someone for helping with your relationship?

[oglocgeeks2nd]

lol, Shepard. Taking a break from saving the universe to mend a relationship.

[Danny77uk]

This game is unrealistic! Would you just wonder up to someone in the street and ask why they're having relationship problems? They'd assume you were trying to hit on them. You'd probably get strange looks or your eyes punched out!

[Solidus1086]

@Danny77uk Well if you want to see everything mega realistically, which is lame anyway taking into account you are playing a game about saving the galaxy from evil death robots, she is a shopkeeper so it is expected you could talk to her without it beeing too random + she is the one who starts talking about her boyfriend.

[thisisjoshman]

This is a pretty sweet story, actually. I hope everything works out between the two of them.

[bogeyatyour6]

@thisisjoshman You gotta meet them in ME3 ;) with a couple little fighting asari :D

[protestifications]

the krogan's poetry is OK at first after 5 mins of it my only thought was "STFU you friggin' idiot!"

[Ginteru]

Roses Are Red,

Violets Are Blue,

I'm Commander Shepard,

And this is my favorite Krogan on Ilium.

[Alieneater1239]

lol Shepard looked like her was going to cry

[DemonQueen75]

I actually like he's poems

[SwiftSarcasm]

heres some real poetry. ahem....

Roses are red

Violets are blue

ASSUMING CONTROL

THIS HURTS YOU

[dude1454545]

@SwiftSarcasm Lol

[182crazyK]

@SwiftSarcasm No no man, it's:

Renegade is red

Paragon is blue... screw these damn flowers.

[FurryKing19]

@SwiftSarcasm that good lol really I meen that lol good and funny.. in a good way.. and that si true as well

[AtticWarrior1994]

Why does your Shepard look like Channing Tatum.

[Kamehamayhem]

Look at how much detail went into this game. Good shit Bioware.

[watchingrob]

@Kamehamayhem Damn straight. Best conversations in a game ever.

[MateiAlexandruBogdan]

Sort of like Worf ! Klingon women throw heavy objects.

[Obsidian182]

"If our love is to survive it must grow thorns to pierce the hand of any who would uproot it..."

Pretty deep shit.

[Eddyforshort]

Or pretty crazy shit. Maybe both?

[backseatxbroadcast]

Cupid Shepard

[weredude101]

lol i remember this was funny

[lightsdarks300]

0:52

SHEPARD MAD

[KryssySushi]

Female Shepard just seems to nod at that part.

[RandomUser990]

SHEPARD SMASH!

[bashira345]

@RandomUser990 ??? wtf???

[Rickardius]

Hilarious.