David Letterman - Dave's Monologue - 10/05/09

[MrFreexboxlivecodes]

0:01 to avoid ads :)

[jonjamjam]

is this supposed to be funny

[Purushadasa]

You'd have to know the context of the monologue.

[lolraxjimmy]

Dave has to be counting his lucky stars since Tiger got caught!

[jimdidr]

This is when good writers shine :)

[valdipetrina]

i think he handled it well .... he wasnt married when this went on and his wife was a staffer .... this is between the 2 of them ... no one else should be invoved

[Cblotnicky]

@valdipetrina He was with his wife for a long, long time before they got married. Cheating is cheating regardless, as far as I'm concerned. I like Dave's comedy, I think he handled this well, but I still think it's a crappy thing to do.

[aquagirl713]

oh dave...

[marcjager]

He wasn't married when he did it was he?

Anyway - biiiiiiig deal....

[IRONiHonakoo]

Yea I mean LOTS of ppl have done way worse just no one finds out about it.

[paddan99]

how many interns have ugly-face douchebag Letterman fucked? top 10 list, dave? FUCKING IDIOT CREEP

[neilzep]

SCHMUCK

[tuber8440]

I thought he handled that really well, and that was one of the funniest monologues I have ever seen from Letterman.

I actually respect him more because of this.

[andurcz]

episodelll I don't think you understand the problem "omg kill him" <--wtf ...Mr. L is a fuckin idiot "people are shocked that I had sex with women" no you idiot people are shocked that you had sex with other women when you were married .... what a moron.. and he's talking about it as if theirs no problem. Aaaaaaa!!! How can you be married to such an idiot!!!!!!!!

[theblackestnight]

he wasn't married

[milton2milton]

nobody interviews like letterman, his monologue i can pass on

[episodeIII]

i feel in the uk he must have killed someone with a spoon then i realised he had sex OMG kill him kill him now TV = church wtf

[episodeIII]

nice ad fu

[eltonjam]

you are more entertaining than Leno, Kimmel, and the other dude(who cares) put together. your a superstar. your supposed to get laid!!!!! Go ahead. Do what you do. you still make me laugh!! that is all i care about. not your personal life

[toejam82]

YES...FINALLY, someone with the correct perspective. These people on here that wanna crucify the man for something he has done in his personal life...WHAT!!! He is an entertainer, a damn good one, not a head of state/ not some religious leader....its David Letterman---latenight talkshow host. You rock elton.!. lol

[Cblotnicky]

@toejam82 He's still a douchebag who cheated on his wife and abused his power multiple times. I don't care what he does for a living, there's a certain level of morality I hold everyone to.

[Grewal792]

panjod letterman cheats on his wife and kids what a fony liberal phudu i hate these type of people trying to save their necks after all the wrongs they do on full accountable intent

[gobbycoot]

I still love him. So he was a cad and slept around, but then he chose to stuff it to the would-be blackmailer, consequences and all. Now he's able to laugh at himself. He's a funny guy...I don't know why Fox News and the right are so up in arms about it. It's not like he's an evangelist, moralist or public servant.The guy has character to get back up, brush himself off and keep going. He'll either work it out with his wife or he won't...I'm personally not interested in being a fly on that wall.

[FanBrazil1]

He is just not funny! His interviews are great, but he is just not the best stand-up comedian. Leno tells WAY better jokes.

[marcusberguv]

God! He had sex with someone who wanted to use that against him to earn some bucks. Who is up for trial here? Jikes! Dave has been careful about his private life before but now someone takes HIS life and tries to get rich on it. No wonder he starts making jokes about it, he should. Sex is just sex. Using sex to earn power.. that's something different. And it's quite obvious who's using sex for her own advantage here...

[timm9]

According to business news , "CBS suppliers are supposed to follow the company's business conduct policies" and the CBS 2008 Business Conduct Statement states that If a consenting romantic or sexual relationship between a supervisor and a direct or indirect subordinate should develop, CBS requires the supervisor to disclose this information to his or her Companys Human Resources Department.

He did not!!! affairs with subordinates created an unfair working environment.

[kkincaidtx]

Does that apply to Les Moonves as well?

[Mrgolfboy24]

Letterman is a Playa! Gotta love that guy..

[rachelface927]

lol, the navigation lady wasn't talking to him :-P he has my respect and support. i think he's being very brave. as he said in his other video - "you can't be victimized by criminals." you ARE doing the right thing, dave! keep your head up!

[timm9]

dave is a BIGOT.

[STU676]

whoremaster supreme

[MrUrbanExplorer]

that's right young girls be careful what you say about letterman or he will come and tax that tight college ass.

[MoronFreeZone]

LOSER!!!

[AnthonyNews]

david is a pimp*******

[tinybones]

Hilarious!

[dare2act]

He's a 2 faced PIG! only a Liberal can get away with this crap! This is only going to result in more bosses creating horrible work envioronments for women and feel completely free to do it. Back to the days when the boss could smack your butt in the office. He/She will only have to make a JOKE about it. The audience are retards! NOT OK.

[eqsmooth]

What does being a liberal or not have to do with this? What is he getting away with? Humans are animals & animals have sex, they don't get married. Why do you think Dave waited so long. Get over it. He is making fun of the whole thing because Americans are filled with the lies of the Puritans. It is very much OK & it is very funny. You should be angry w/the criminal extortionist & his live in skank girlfriend. Would you rather have criminals or skirt chasers? Liberal? You're just full of shit.

[timm9]

dave is a Lib. BIGOT.....He Hate bashed others 4 the very samething he was doing.

[eqsmooth]

So did conservatives when Clinton was chasin' tail. Human nature. He's bustin' on himself and he knows he cheated, He's letting everyone know what a dickhead he was and he even apologized again to Sarah Palin, that skanky ass ho. At least he's not draggin' his son into all this. See how in his style he is apologizing to all of the people he made fun of? He knows a& is admitting he is no better. What do you want him to do? Go on Oprah and sob? All this is healthy & funny. You puritanical bitch!

[toejam82]

I totally gree with everything you said...too bad, and quite sad, that you ended your comment with hate! Dont go slummin with the dogs dawg! Your views about Dave are spot on!!!

[eqsmooth]

You are right. I went too far. I just love the P word and the B word. I need a punching bag more than a laptop. maybe we all do. It is just so weird to me that they blame his infidelity (and getting away with it, which he is NOT) on his liberalism. I've seen it quite a bit. Many people are very much outta sorts these days.

[timm9]

Its the bigotry of his lberalism u fool....He HATE BASH others for what he was doing for years!

[eqsmooth]

Smells of irrationality, what you wrote my dear confused boy. What is he doing in this clip? Pray tell? I think he's pointing out exactly what he did and he's busting himself on it in public. He's manning up! Understand the concept? My comments are rarely, if ever foolish. Dave's job is to make fun of others, not hate bash. So, given his current situation, he is apologizing for doing his job which he now realizes can be dirty work. Having sex is hardly a crime while extortion certainly is.

[timm9]

Making a JOKE about cheating and lying to ones family and abusing your power in the work force is far from "manning up". Its clear he wife does not find being humilited and lied and cheated on very funny.

In case u did not know sexual harassment is BREAKING the Law. The fact he was their boss and had sex wit them inpart covers that being they in fear of losing job.

[eqsmooth]

You just couldn't help yourself, could you? CBS came out & said he did not commit sexual harassment. He broke no employee rules & no laws. Not one woman ever complained. One was in love/wanted to marry him. No abuse as the women were totally into it. They found him charming & funny. BTW, your grammar & spelling are atrocious. It must be the seething anger. Take a deep breath while I cauterize your wounds. You do realize that I'm destroying you. It is so lopsided. Stop trying to hit me & hit me.

[timm9]

Of course CBS is going to say that. LMAO!!!

Give it time these girls will be coming out of the woodwork soon.

B/S A 19yo finds a 60yo HOT.

Own It The Libs. way of thinking "family vaules dont matter" seems not to lead to good things. His poor wife news reports say she is VERY HURT....do u even care? Sick.

[Phi16180]

5 months later, no one gives a fuck. now shut the fuck up biatch

[timm9]

Clinton pointed his finger right in your face and LIED to the American people.....Reason also people were pissed....He was fu*king young girl on the JOB when he should have been killing Ben and then we would not have had a 911.

[eqsmooth]

Poor boy, why do you keep digging yourself in deeper. So masochistic, so painful to watch. Why do you continue down the wrong path?. Be careful what you say about 9/11. I lived in Manhattan then. Had a view of the WTC from my apartment. Bush didn't cause 9/11 but he certainly needed an attack on American soil to start the WMD lie to justify an Iraq invasion. Clinton's dalliances having nothing to do w/our current state of affairs. You're in safe water if you stick to blaming PNAC, Bush & Cheney.

[timm9]

If Clinton was not to busy sticking things up a young girls anal why in the OVAL OFFICE ON THE TAX payers dollar then he could have killed ben laden and 911 would not have happened. He even said later he f&^ up big on dat one.

[eqsmooth]

Well, even though the score is 88-0 you have done well enough to tire me out with Clinton. He was gone 9 years ago man. Get the spell check out and I'll spank you again on another day. So owned. My goodness that was easy.

[timm9]

SH(T!!! He is 62!!!!!!!! No was a 19yo hot inturn finds a FUGLY DIRTY OLD 62YO man hot.

It will come out in time he abused his power as their boss.

[alvarodelamo]

Yeah too bad he couldn't keep his dick inside his pants OR predict the future. God you're stupid.

[NabotBleu]

He used his dick the way it is ment to be used! How do you use yours??

[alvarodelamo]

It was a response to another guy, you should have been able to notice by the way I said it. Look at the comments. I personally don't think what he did is a big deal.

I was trying to make fun of a guy that said that if Bill Clinton didn't get a blowjob from Monica 9/11 wouldn't had happened.

[RestrictedSprinter17]

just shut up. you dont even know what your talking about

[ghost00110]

Just by reading your comment, I can already tell you are an ugly feminist.

[TheShrinkRap]

Just for kicks:

Compare the number of liberals caught in the wrong sack verses the number of conservatives poking on the side. The difference I see is the conservatives seem to be all... married.

If you haven't learned how to handle office sexual harassment by now perhaps you need some special attention, Oh and calling a large number of people who disagree with you retards is astonishingly Juvenile. Just because you don't get any doesn't mean we feel sorry for you.

[toejam82]

I care far more about people having jobs to pay for mortgages/ rent, food and childcare expenses, than who's "banging who" on the party lines!!

[TheShrinkRap]

Uh, ok. Why did you watch this video?

[toejam82]

You're the one who made the comparison. I watched the video because I am a fan of David Letterman ....I respond to show my support for him; thats all!

[jamiethomasqwerty]

He's handling himself well.

[PowNageMeiSter]

Are you fucking serious?

When Hulu is available in Europe I will NEVER EVER EVER use YouTube again!!!

[elevationnnnnn]

When you pull up David Letterman on Hulu you will automatically be routed to CBS, commercials and all. CBS has struck a deal with YouTube to share the revenue from these commercials. It's not YouTube exclusively. With more people turning off television for the internet there has to be way to keep the production companies from losing money. Personally I can't receive CBS on line because of a major buffering problem that I don't have anywhere else. Dave is my fix and I am happy to have him here.

[PowNageMeiSter]

You're right.

The reason I am so pissed is because YouTube was a sacred area where there was not supposed to be any smutty advertising before video content. But I realize that YouTube paid to have this premium content. Somehow it makes YouTube feel a lot shittier though.

[elevationnnnnn]

Welcome to the age of smut my friend. It's one of the reasons that I gave up television. I can sympathize with you on that point.

[VITRAN2010]

@PowNageMeiSter YEH BUT WHEN THEY POST A MOVIE OF YOUR MOM GETTING FUCK U COME BACK N WATCH IT SO U CAM MASTURBATE TO IT

[druevin]

This is totaly bullshit. Commercials on youtube? BOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Andrewsonfire]

30 second ad before video thats allways cool.. this isnt fucking tv, its the internet

[cooljj82]

it still cost money bro, people have to make a living

[tjbugcat]

This monologue is by far my all time favorite of Dave's! As a single female who worked in a Trauma Center Emergency Room, The Late Show "scandal" is rated G compared to my former workplace! I've learned long ago not to judge. We all make poor choices! I've been a fan of the show for years and will continue to be so for years to come!

[TheShrinkRap]

I was a patient at the VA hospital in Honolulu and can say the staff there was highly efficient and sexually fulfilled. That made me feel better, and safe from some sexually frustrated Doc. with a christian up bringing, supporting a frustration fueled by the fact that others openly laugh at his allusions. I want a happy, sexually fulfilled, agnostic gin drinker working on me, you know someone that can laugh at it all.

[getalongperson]

i feel his pain dave rules even though daves not here

[mard420]

i gotta watch a commercial for a 5min video, bite me CBS

[gladanka]

im biting u

/ cbs

[jahailyass]

What a pussy socker he is . CHEATER.

[wildwest1]

What I don't like is when these celebrities bring their personal lives in the limelight. I really don't care your opinion on politics. Just be entertaining without all of the baggage.

[anna02031986]

I don't understand why people are saying that they are not going to watch his show anymore... does it make him/ the show any less entertaining now that people know that he cheated on his then girlfriend.. c'mon people.. who cares what he does in his personal life!!!!!!!! He's not a politician he's just a talk show host...like he's the first famous guy to do this..

[Beavoux59]

Hilarious, Dave still rules!!

[bpas11]

how old is dave?

[io3000gamma]

I stopped watching Dave during the time when he began parading Stephanie on the show. It was just stupid and boring, and now I know why she's kept coming back on the show.

[Fleshwhiskers]

gotta question his ethics, he's lost one fan that's for sure...he is a funny man no question....but to sin against God and cheat on his wife and screw his subordinates just because he can...there is no excuse for adultery dave and the other women should be fired no question.

[gomerA7X]

lol

christfag lol

lol

[Fleshwhiskers]

lol

your mom doesnt seem to mind

lol

[gomerA7X]

lol

she probly doesnt

still christfag lol

lol

[Fleshwhiskers]

lol

hehe let me ask her

she cant talk right now shes got my cock in her mouth

lol

[TheShrinkRap]

Hey Gomer these affairs happened before Dave was married so holster your God gun dufus and mind your own. So fire yourself right for trying to shake down Dave using the God deal, nice move...

[Fleshwhiskers]

Hey dunderhead its just an opinion....as far as dave goes hes a dirty old man im guessing your one too besides i wasnt talking to your yankee ass so mind your own..

[gomerA7X]

your all retarded

and i hate you all

[makepeacenotwar0505]

He wasn't married to his wife at the time, so put down your torch there.

[Fleshwhiskers]

if he wasn't married then i recant...still probably not going to watch his show anymore...

[yertlemyturtle]

Get over yourself. Let me guess you are chrisitan?

[TheShrinkRap]

You keep saying that, wtf, you waiting for an medal. So all that hate in you because Dave was Married (which he wasn't) is now held in escrow so you can dump it on the next person that violates your God's testaments like not bearing false witness against thy neighbor... Go fuck yourself you godless freak.

[krist300]

good old dirty dave, pimpin the hoes..

[OrangeRhymePictures]

he's so damn smart. that's what makes letterman great.

it's interesting how stars don't get frowned upon for sex scandals, and yet TV talk show hosts do? the line between politician and talk show host is appearing to be pretty fine.

[aweaver1965]

this is clearly not a man who is deeply in love with either his wife or even himself. It's no shock that he strayed like he did. None of you people have any idea what is going on in his house or what the dynamic of his relationship is. I say Go Dave. At least he's owning up to his behavior. If you don't like it, don't watch him.

[bloodmoney52]

wtf ads?

[Clerkpro]

"He cheated on his wife who was then his girlfriend, people make mistakes." - chuytheme (5 hours ago) Show Hide

ONCE is "a mistake." More than once is a "pattern."  More than twice is a "compulsion."

Dave wants to make this about the crime of "extortion." But that just shows you how insincere he is. He wants to deflect the attention from his "compulsion."

What many of you have to ask yourself is, "If Dave were a 'conservative,' would you feel the same?"

[clemsonman0503]

you are right. I love Dave, but it's true. Instead of a formal appology and letting it pass, he's making jokes based on other people's adultry. Feels like he is just covering it up and the crowd fully accepts it.

[dazeofmylife]

What a jagoff. CBS you need to fire this scum before the cross examination reveals that he chose the hiring from behind a one way mirror and that there are 10-20 or more employees that will come forward and hopefully all will sue. You're a female employee...Lettershit hits on you...what do you do? Fuck or lose your job. Real nice place to work. What the fuck is funny about that Mother Fucker! You turned them into prostitutes! I wonder how many married women are going to be on the list. FIRE HIM!

[nomania]

Well you're a douche bag. There is more to life than just doing what your dick tells you to do.

[mels411]

SLEEZE SCUMBAG.

[jondavis1234]

I support Letterman!

[thecraicrules]

me too I support him, well done for exposing the story: he cheated on his then-girlfriend, but that is his business, and no one knew so far anyway; what is worse is that some scumbag tried to extort money and gain from this, by threatening to ruin his life and career

[wavefool]

My psychiatrist told me I have to quit masturbating

She said that the office visits are for discussions...

[sailorboy331]

lettermen is one of the least funny people in the entire world

[catfacecathead]

He didn't cheat on his wife, as far as he's said ... in fact he stressed that he didn't. The fact that Dave resisted getting married for twenty years indicates to me that he knew himself well enough not to marry.

[myfreetime3]

Bingo, jameshauler! Unless they were "on a break" during his sexual episodes, he's been cheating on Regina for a very long time - married or not.

[xSkitZx]

rofl hats off to him for making fun of himself

[gardner900]

adverts can fuck off what the hell youtube

[kevinkahomusic]

why the heck are we getting stupid ads on youtube now...

[wavefool]

Because you only deserve stupid adds, all the smart adds are on the ONN.

[jameshauler]

i dont know if it matters that the relationships ended before he was married. he was dating lasko since '86... and these affairs ended beyond 2000... and all this is somehow ok because they weren't married?... they had harry while he was sleeping with other women also... not really that hilarious.

[chuytheme]

What ever he did he will talk with his wife about. He did not cheat on you so it really shouldn't matter to you should it?

[jameshauler]

well, he also seems to be talking to me about it. A LOT. haha... it would be great if he kept it between himself and his wife instead of making his monologue full of jokes about it and trying to get us to be on his side... im not a fan of infidelity, though it seems like a bunch of people are.

[spikedawg1970]

For all the jokes he makes about others indiscretions, atleast he's willing to goof on himself as well, it's kind of refreshing in a way.

[chuytheme]

Well don't watch his show if you don't want to. He cheated on his wife who was then his girlfriend, people make mistakes. No one likes infidelity, but it happens, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Let his wife deal with him, if you like his show watch it, if you don't, then I don't understand why you are here.

[eddie2042]

ahmadenijad is jewish? haha :P "rubinstein communications" lmfao

[mrcitydocs]

thats the sad thing about it,, i loved it when he gave the politicians a hard time,,especialy bill clinton..Now he can't do that anymore..80% of the late shows material is about celebrities sleeping around.

[IAmAboveDeath]

HE WILL RAPE YOUR CHILDREN WITH HIS MOUTH!

lol love ya dave(no homo)

[moritzmaceio]

I always liked Dave and I admired his work, it's normal: some people do and some people don't. WHat he did was wrong and he has to face his wife's reaction, now. And that's also true, but all the jokes he made about others cheating on their wifes??? There's an Arab proverb that says: you don't throw stones at other people, if you live in a glass house!

[chuytheme]

That's his problem, not anyone else's.

[canicallutownsie]

Man. I can't get angry at a man like this.

we all do stupid shit. love ya dave

[chuytheme]

Yeah, we all make mistakes because we are all humans, Dave is no exception.

[khunopie]

I hate these mother focking stupid ass ads with crappy products i dont need. yeah

[USI1993]

Youtube and CBS failed. Just because of these commercials I now stopped watching CBS's videos. Not exactly what they were aiming for...

[mcnigga24]

he is an asshole

[SantaBarbaraDianne]

Good thing for Dave that the Sleezebags Of America was in town for a convention and stopped by to see his last two shows, hence the laughter and applause you hear during his recounting the story..

[returnofdagbert]

These ads blow balls.

[hussam0ntreal]

David Letterman you can do whatever the fuck you want , you apologized and that's it and if your fans wont like it cause they are bunch of hypocrites fuck them.

you are the best.

when the shit hits the fan some guys run and some guys stand....and you...you have balls of steel.

[FunnyHaHaFunnyHaHa]

that's what she said

[rozination]

OK, I understand he made a mistake and apologized for it. Kudos on that part. BUT-...and I have to preface this by saying I have always liked his show- this is a man who has SKEWERED other public figures for their indescretions, and here it turns out the whole time he was cheating on his wife! And he went to work every night, and LAMBASTED those in the public eye who were cheaters. Sympathy for Dave?? Now we all should feel sorry, but where was the sympathy for those others he mocked?!?!

[NevadaBoss]

best monologue in years...he likely wrote most of it it  himself.

proof, yet again, that from great pain comes great art.

[you2begin]

Wow amazingly well handled, That's actually one of his funniest monologes ever. He really has no choice but to run with it. The other night when he just avoided it didn't work. Maybe this will be a comic rebirth for Dave. Ones things for sure a lot more people are watching his show at the moment.

[DontGoInThere]

Dave screwed up. However, he's admitted to it and even pokes fun at himself for this. I'm not condoning what he did, but I think some people need to calm down about it. I give him lots of credit for at admitting it happened in front of millions, which can't be easy at all, especially something like this.

[susanwiggins]

Blackmail is a form of bullying and I applaud Dave for having the "balls" to fight this bully. (no pun intended). It takes quite a man to be able to stand before millions and admit to wrong doings. Dave stood before us with a embarrassed grin while making fun of himself. Without naming names, he referred to "the Appalachian trail"& possibility of being "impeached," reminding us, he isn't the only one who has strayed & we have forgiven before. WTG, Dave!!!

[artfulmark]

Zackly, Dave sounds like an attentive and loving boss and should be honored as such.

God Bless Dave!

[gearjammn]

These "affairs" happened before his marriage anyway if I heard right and none of the women were complaining. It was all one of their boyfriends' doing and Dave just squashed him like a bug with this

[theDeadliestWarrior]

Oh so he only cheated on his girlfriend. What a saint

[SantaBarbaraDianne]

he's married now

[milkman52879]

Dave isn't perfect and neither is anyone else. All the people who flip out over shit like this need to get a life of their own and mind their own business.

[06Lujan]

it's open season for conservatives

[milkman52879]

For many yes.  I'm conservative, but I love Dave and I can't stand Palin.

[kettleism]

do u notice that dave kept looking to the right?

See also his apology (when his sitting in the desk). he kept looking to the right..

[docume]

Paul Shaffer buddy ......

[P00P0STER0US]

30 second ad? Really? Only someone like Dave can encourage an internetizen to sit through a 30 second ad.

[w0ffle]

I am amazed at how he is still able to be funny, most other people would have imploded.

[kallianke]

He was clearly distracted here. Couldn´t keep focus.

[skriber]

What's that about his relevance, I didn't catch it.

[hardcoreep]

Best EVER opening monologue!

[abemagic10]

ad voice-over sounds like Sigourney Weaver

[Furnifur]

Dave does it so well..."chilly inside my house"

too funny!

[kenrg]

"... I get in my car and the navigation lady isn't speaking to me..."

[Furnifur]

priceless

[FreddieSausage]

Paul is having a good old "Ed McMahon" chuckle.....

[Staticnz]

Ouch...this monologue was alright in places but overall kind of awkward...