Added: 1 month ago
From: TheOnion
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  • Lol prima nocta

  • Yep...thought i read the title right.

  • Kate Middleton is way to hot for that family why did he not gust marry his cousin or something like they always do

  • @Chansulus Because that is incest... Plus looks don't matter, love does.

  • Rather her than Prince Phillip:(

  • Aughhh why am I laughing! That's so wrongggg!

  • thats so wronggg LOL

  • Brooke your boobs are too sparkly (can't turn away).

  • The Onion News is always based loosely on the truth.........similar to all US mainstream media.

  • She always has the same blue dress on.

  • Kate Middleton is a pro

  • I have the weirdest boner.

  • The silhouette is just hilarious. 

  • They sure got the memo on our liking of Brooke's blue dress, now didn't they? =D~~~

  • I'd pay to see that...

  • Hahaa.. Leave it to the onion to cross the line. Excellent.

  • I see they do keep in the family

  • I love The Onion, but can't help feeling that this piece was in rather poor taste...

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n Don't forget the Beatles lol :) Speaking of which I was having a debate recently over who had the better share of great bands UK or US. I think The US trumps Britain for Solo artists but that on the band front UK has the edge. Your thoughts?

  • @MrKapfreebird also...The Rolling Stones, Dire Straits, Genesis, Bee Gees, Queen, Def Leppard, Duran Duran, Coldplay, Prodigy, Tom Jones, Cliff Richard, Depeche Mode......UK have more big bands....but the US has Michael Jackson, Madonna, Elvis better solo artists.

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n By the way I would like to say I'm impressed we've managed to keep up a reasoned (albeit heated) debate going so long without resorting to obsenities or vulgarity. It is most refreshing :) lol

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n When I say ''know'' about art, architecture etc I don't mean you arent perhaps aware and appreciative, I mean that there is very little in comparison to Europe of any of those worth mentioning in the states (excluding pop and folk music and some literary greats, eg mark twain of course.) Although you did somewhat prove my point with your last scathing remark :) What would you call shakespeare, the Globe Theatre, Dickens, Elgar, Countless Castles and Cathederals?

  • @MrKapfreebird Byron, Holst, Gainsborough, Monty Python, Hitchcock, Agatha Christie, Wren (St Paul's Cathedral), and of course Isambard Kingdom Brunel are names you neglected to mention.

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n lol yeah it was just weird imagery ...like tree hugging but weird. England had nothing to do with the ''ugly buildings'' you see today and land raping I'm afraid you did that all by yourself. But are you implying you would rather live like a savage? In a cave or a mud hut? And also for the record (although this is something Americans no nothing about) European culture has created some of the best art, music, and amazing architecture man kind has to offer.

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n And ...just something to take a bit out of that watermelon sized black hole of ignorance that you seem keen to put on display, Britain was not solely controlled by a monarch and in fact had a parliament long before America even existed. Or do you still think we are led by the Queen, God bless her, Alone? lol what a jackass

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n America won't exist in a thousand years time...it'll just be an extension of mexico in mabey 200.

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n Oh i suppose you would rather live in Somalia or Zimbabwe or any of the other lovely alternatives....ungrateful apologist lol

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n Another word for America would be greedy....perhaps its definition, its entire ethos is based in pure greed and excess.

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  • @ph157ofch1ck3n Go get an education. Not sure how you can rape land...pretty rich an American calling ANYONE greedy lol crease up

  • grossssss

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n History is history, dude, can't be changed. Calm the Hell down.

  • another boob twitch 0:09.....i can't remember what the other video is called where her boob twitches but keep an eye out

  • Meh. The Daily Show's was better.

  • BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    damn queen elizabeth!!!!

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n Chances are that big mac your probably ramming down your gob right now was paid for with the blood of an Englishman at one time or another. Britain gained great wealth and prosperity like nothing else through trade and industry, making the western world what it is today.

  • ooookaaaay

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n Britain pioneered technology, industry and trade as well as exploration and colonization. The USA would not exist if not for its colonization and support by (originally) British settlers. We brought democracy to a quarter of the known world. For all the ''evil'' inflicted upon the developing African and Asian nations, the lasting legacy of modern infrastructure, civilisation and modernisation. Britain also funnily enough had outlawed slavery long before the US.

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n Okay not sure where your getting this Anglo-Saxon thing? Britain was saturated by the Vikings and Normans during the 10th and 11th centuries and was ruled by Norman Kings right up to Richard II at the end of the 14th. Britain Britain's ''first'' 200 years? Britain as a rough unified Kingdom is around a thousand years old. In our first 200 hundred years of great domination (C17th - C19th) we forged the creation of almost every luxury you and I enjoy today.

  • That was nice cleavage.

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n The USA has achieved nothing in its small lifetime compared to that of Great Britain or indeed any of the great nations of western Europe and can make no claim to be on the rise. Furthermore the American bastardisation of the English language only reflects a society bereft of even the most minute whiff of culture outside that of produce and consume.

  • @MrKapfreebird Britain managed to create and maintain one of the largest land empires for over 300 years. The British dominance of the seas arguably began after the Spanish armada and was inherent up to the 1950s. The only reason Great Britain is in decline now is that the USA took so long to commit to WWII something they now make up for by being the very instigator of conflicts.

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  • lmfao

  • and who thinks she was still a virgin?

    shit its an onion video why did i just take this seriously!?!

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n Oh, the classic 'I was just trolling!' argument. How boring.

  • WOW! BOLD STUFF ONION. IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU. I SUPPOSE POACHERS ARE GOING TO FIND YOUR DECOMPOSING BODIES ON THE QUEEN MOM'S ESTATES. REMEMBER WHAT SHE SAID, "WE ARE NOT AMUSED".

  • Wow, what matriarchal bullshit, like she needed to have sex with a "real woman" before she could be a woman herself.

    Alternatively, anyone else find the US's fascination with monarchy weird? You're free!

  • So seriously Brook why is it only your left breast moves when you talk?

  • wow this one was just cruel, but it's the onion so i guess is alright

  • CLEAVAGE.

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n well you are saying that like if the US was the best country in the world. I haven't lived there, but from my point of view it looks lame. If you just value your country by how many people they can kill with the click of a button then yes, your country is the best in the world.

  • Oooh cheerio broke, pip pip

  • need to unsee. violence may be applied if needed.

  • not the first time an onion has brought tears to my eyes...

  • ._. Hmmmm.....

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n Your terribly constructed prose does nothing to disguise your ignorance.

    To be fair to the US Military, it would win a conflict with Britain anyday of the week. But that's just because Britain is a smaller country/collection of countries and therefore has a smaller military. All thing's numerically equal, the British would annihilate the US and that unearned sense of national arrogance. See, our troops are intelligent enough to ascertain who the actual enemy is.

  • @HellSpunk You guys tried that already it was called the revolutionary war, America was WAY outnumbered and you still lost. Americans know war and firearms the way the British know tea, lame tv shows, and properly constructed proses.

  • @muchrespect88 HAHAHA that is the stupidest thing i've ever heard, for starters, America had had many attempted uprisings before 1776, it just so happened that at the time of the successful revolution the British had the majority of their forces fighting the French. The British had something like 60,000 to American's 250,000, not to mention the fact that various European powers at the time such as France, Holland and Spain supported the Americans with troops and supplies. Stupid Colonial.

  • @Fitzy106 Ok im not a history teacher, but how did a bunch of teenagers with hoodies and baseball bats almost dismantle your entire country a few months ago? That would NEVER have happened in the states. Do you guys really call us colonials? Jeez get over it already.

  • @muchrespect88 Well that's more the modern politicians of the country not having the balls to deal with a problem properly, don't get me wrong i'm not praising the current social state of England, if it was up to me we would of dealt with it very differently. Anyway, doesn't gang crime cripple communities all year round in the States? that certainly isn't as bad over here. But to be fair it hardly 'Dismantled' us, i live in a relatively rough area of the UK and I wasn't affected by it at all.

  • @muchrespect88 and to be fair if you scroll down these comments you'll find a lot of people also use 'limeys' when talking about brits, which has a similar date of origin? God get over it already

  • @muchrespect88 The British still make the better tank and know how to actually win a guerilla war. Americans don't understand prose so much as make up their own words. Like proses for example.

  • prima nocte! sounds reasonable when said in latin.

  • Wow.... They have no shame)))))

  • Question. Stephen Colbert on The Onion: Great idea... Or the greatest idea?

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  • gross

  • lolz

  • Too soon.

  • Pip pip, nice clevage!

  • Oi pip pip our majesty got a right ol' rooty tooty if I say so meself gov'ner.

  • poppycocks

  • boobs

  • beep bop boop

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n and the last bit of your comment? pop guns and a few rusty daggers? It'd probably be better than an air force that can't figure out what troops to attack, and an army filled with white trash and wet back mexicans. lol :)

    peace

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n Lack of proper education (e.g. The American revolution was in fact a pretty narrowly won victory and would not have occurred if British forces had not been tied up in a massive European conflict at the time. Neither would America have won if they had not had the help of the French Navy.), a messiah complex (TEAM AMERICA SAVING THE WORDL!) and a unique ignorance of other cultures.

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n by British humor do you mean anything that is genuinely funny without needing canned laughter and obscenities? Humor not aimed at a 4 year old's intellectual level? Everything you have said has beautifully and most ironically illustrated the accepted world view of American attributes. Arrogance and blind military aggression.

  • EEEEEEW

    Gross.

    Seriously.

  • No offense but I really doubt she was still a virgin. I mean, her and William lived together beforehand and they met while she was modeling a see-through dress. Yeah. Something about that doesn't project a very innocent image to me...

    So this whole ridiculous notion of "deflowering" Kate is silly (and creepy), and a few years too late.

  • @ShiroiyukiDesigns ITS FAKE YOU FUCKING IDIOT

  • @SilentlySearching Wow, someone forgot their meds this morning...HINT: it's the little orange bottle labeled "Prozac"

  • @ShiroiyukiDesigns that's great so i can borrow some of yours right?

  • @SilentlySearching Seriously? Are you like...12 years old or something? Let it go...

  • @ShiroiyukiDesigns Way to pick apart a joke there Angelina Jolie. You just gotta ruin everything your apart of don't you.

  • @ShiroiyukiDesigns Yes, you see my friend, THAT'S WHY IT'S FUNNY.

  • @ShiroiyukiDesigns They making fun of royal traditions not specifically kate..

  • @ShiroiyukiDesigns You're so fucking lame.

  • @ShiroiyukiDesigns It's satire, for Zeus's sake.

  • @ShiroiyukiDesigns You killed the joke. You literally killed it. This is why you can't have nice things

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n The fact i can't be sure if you are being serious or just being sarcastic, just prove how strong the comical stereotype image of Americans are!

    LoL!

    Anyway, i always approve of the USA expanding it's high tech robotic military, its never a dull a moment when you keep losing them to third world dictatorship countries, keeps everybody on their toes, right? :p

  • I usefully find Onions satire funny but this was digusting. Did they run out of material or what ?

  • good job brooke... good job

  • hahahahahahah

  • You know, this would've been hot if it weren't for the Queen being like 36753 years old.

  • @CyborgNinja7 well you should know, she is a cyborg. All hail the Cyborg Queen!

  • gitty gitty gilf

  • Royal lesbians.

  • @TheJamesrocket Woahhhh

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  • What does Princess Diana have in common with cell phone signal?

    They both die in tunnels.

  • @legr8est1234 fuck off

  • @legr8est1234 LMFAOOOOO

  • Funny!!! The Queen signals...

  • It's good to be K...Queen.

  • I would do things to Brooke that a veterinarian wouldn't do to a farm animal.

  • @spinmonkey4401

    Everyone should steer clear of you save a quartet of men in white suits with a van and a net.

  • @SeventhSun Haha! So true.

  • i see the weather in brookes blouse region today is mildly titty with a chance of pancakes. more on her face.

  • i thought they were gonna do a princess and the pea kind of thing lol

  • gooooo UK

  • re-upload? again?

  • Another Onion win.

  • I thought it was funny honestly

  • Brooke, I love your cleavage!

  • Well... that was a delightful mental image. Thanks Onion.

  • grow the fuck up people, this is hilarious, and I'm sure you'd all agree if it was prince phillip instead of the queen. Its funny because it's disgusting because she's old, homophobes.

  • ewwww......seriously (n).

    

  • Onion FAIL.

  • Lol, Yup Yup...everyone knows the Queen likes to get her freak on with the young ladies. 8)

  • Gross whose idea was this

  • Another ONION FAIL!!

  • Nice knowing you guys at the Onion. You're probably going to be found decomposing on one of her estates by poachers.

  • I'm offensive and I find this British

  • I think I'm about to lose my lunch

    *throws up*

    Ugh, some things are better left unimagined.

  • @ph157ofch1ck3n that's what we wanted you to think, in reality we were just glad to get rid of all our wingnut religious fanatics. If we just let you go without a fuss you might come back!

    *Shudder*

    But as you can see, you have your Republicans and Tea Parties while we get utterly boring mundane paint drying politics.

    Mission Accomplished! ;)

  • moar cleavage plox

  • I love how the "british" accent interpretations by Americans =

    1. Over the top upper class accent.

    2. Bizarre Victorian themed cockney that no-one has ever talked in, ever.

    Where's all the impressions of a thick Wigan accent? Now that would be worth hearing :P

    :|

  • @Karateworm I like to get back with the classic thick texan accent, throwing in references to taking the cattle out to pasture.

    If I can do so while stuffing my face it's a bonus.

  • @Karateworm Same as any other culture, a majority of people I've met that try to speak American english go for the deep southern accent or new jersey.

  • god i hate americans attempting british accents, they allllll do it... just no.

  • @rewindDUDE It's deliberately bad...

  • cheerio pip pip

  • Rotfl!

  • I just found out that the 1st season of this is now shown on Sky Arts 1 here in UK thanks for bring the show to the UK Onion

  • *shudders*

  • Those germans, talking our British women as they like.

    puh! I remember the good old days when the only thing we and the Germans did together was war crimes.

  • To show how silly this trolling is, I have an added trollbait into this comment in the form of an obligatory misplaced apostrophe.

    Should this not work, my next plan is to stereotype every commenter within the past 6 pages and their entire family and make fun of them based on said stereotype, all while typing in the most illegible broken English you will ever read.

    '

  • @Shott133 i dont... see it

  • @Shott133 well played sir

  • Like as if the queen can ever get it up again. oh sh*t but then there's viagra... you're on your own Kate.

  • Of course, when they finally find a British woman whose face doesn't look like grey dough, everyone wants to get a piece.

  • @skreennaim02 No i think the joke is lesbian granny sex..

  • The revolutionary war was totally worth it for this kind of trolling.

  • @MrRedhondabadge shut up, you old brit.

  • The joke here is royalty fucking the middle class, right?

  • This is not funny. You should be sued for defamation. In the old days, heads would literally roll.

  • @MrRedhondabadge Oh, get a sense of humor (yes, that is how you spell it).

  • @loqutor No, it really is not. Funny video though.

  • I'd pull the Queen into a threesome if it meant I got to bone Kate. Done deal.

  • I was waiting for the Funny. I'm still waiting.

  • Pippa or Kate? I'd say Kate.

  • Who comes up with this stuff?

  • This is going to piss off some British people.

  • KNOCK IT OFF!! lol :)

  • Errr... Onion, stop being bad. Its getting annoying now.

  • Rofl

  • dumbfuck americans, we curtailed the british empire so that we wouldn't have to watch this bullshit go on anymore. class dismissed.