Dogma - Alanis Morissette Is God

[helen1908]

'WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HUG MY HEAD!'

[nick012000]

FUS RO DAH!

[gato23]

it was God/Alanis Morissette that thought the Thu'um to the Nords of Skyrim.

[TheNirvanafan1]

best. film. ever.

[WackdProductions]

Okay, quick question--why couldn't God have just made humans that DIDN'T explode from hearing her voice? All-powerful my ass.

[ButtScratchaaaaaa]

@WackdProductions

God is so divine that hearing it or seeing it, or just being in it's respents would kill a human in an instant.

This is because God is all mighty, blah blah blah.

[lucasTk96]

3:22 Best smile ever! And what the fuck is that mean ? What the fuck happened to that guy's head! lol, its hilarious!

[MadGary222]

Whole Shit I think Kevin Smith is married to Allan Merriest!!

[gettie246]

Wait what is this? Lol this is halarious!!!!

[Silverlarkspur87]

"Anyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now"

[Da1337Man]

1:38 she gives him the signal

metatron: ah shit, not this again. 5 adams wasnt enough for you???

[ketamphetamine]

i wish she was god, then id bone her everyday and make a new jesus

[tsukune007]

and yet alanis morissette started out on YOU CAN'T DO THAT ON TV

[Alysin123]

i never got the fact that god is a girl in this film

[ZKY2]

@Alysin123 And an old man.

[Alysin123]

@ZKY2 lol

[tool2342]

@17jesusochoa I just checked out google, and you're right, he is commonly believed to look the way you describe. However, in actual fact God doesn't look like anything cuz he's not real...

[Hematemesis]

@tool2342 ahhahahahaha nearly almost every relevant philosopher of the 20th century wrote about how stupid is to believe in gods, yet they keep praying and believing bullshit from 2000 years ago. Do you really think 2 lines will make them wake up from their collective delusion???

[tool2342]

@Hematemesis No but it is fun to taunt them...

[Hematemesis]

@tool2342 I agree ahahahaha

[Runningtail]

alan fucking rickman meets the muggles from the quick stop

[lucasboden]

Alanis is no God. Bjork is God.

[ambersomers]

alan rickman rocks

[AJDilly]

Damn shes hot in this movie.

[iMAKEvids56]

Aha, Alanis's little quirks in this movie crack me up

[iMAKEvids56]

@LaDeejay I have to admit, I missed the point as well. Probably though because I've never seen it. It all seems a little fucked up right now...

[DangerasTM]

i like how gods voice is so powerful it will literally blow your mind and its Alanis Morisette....i think Mr Smith is a fan (and so am i)

[theFIFTHspade]

It neva ends!

[themusicmastress]

@17jesusochoa your a fucking tart. you realize that your "almighty god" can look like what ever the fuck he/she wants. you have officially been awarded the world most dumbest dumbass. congratulations dick head. -sincerely the atheist who just showed you up.

[nuggetz24]

@themusicmastress you sound as much of an ass as the jesus dude. i dont understand why atheists and religous people have to argue. A belief is a belief, nobody is better than one another.

[themusicmastress]

@nuggetz24 Damn right I'm an Ass and don't you forget it! p.s. i never said i was better than anyone. But if there's one thing i know it's that god/jesus can look like who ever the hell she/he wants.

[Hanioflisa]

Is Silent Bob dead or from another plane of existence?

[dabestsinger]

BOW DOWN STUPID!!!

[cookiesarehappy]

who knew Snape could be so so funny XD

[redhairmarimo]

Amongst all the jokes in this movie that were made at the expense of others, I must say, I loved the constant quips about how much Wisconsin sucks.

[LazySmurf247]

IT NEVER ENDS!!! I freaking ♥ Alan Rickman... you sexy man, you!!

[daavpuke]

That scene is so undeniably awesome.

[Paritan164]

I firmly believe God forgave Bartleby for his sins, hence why Bartleby says 'thank you'; no longer being an angel, but a human, he gained a conscience and truly regretted what he had done. So I believe God forgave him and sent him to heaven, and probably did the same for Loki since his last act was trying to stop Bartleby.

[styxfreak]

DAMN epic

[RaafiUTube1]

Actually nevermind I take that back. This scene was hilarious!!!

[RaafiUTube1]

Yea I wasn't sure before, but know I'm sure of it. God is Fing crazy!! (I'm so going to burn in hell for this >.> )

I is sorry dear god :-) but if you're my creator than indeed you are nuts and you know! I mean seriouslly what were you thinking????

[NellieForbush]

XD Oh Alan, how I love you

[rosey4exclaim]

I just love her smile at 3:21! ^_^

[alchemist4evr]

I find it awesome that God looks like some Wiccan interpretations of the Goddess. Just my opinion. LONG LIVE DOGMA!

[Zoras88]

Come on, her singing isn't THAT bad.

[StygianFilms]

@17jesusochoa Hahaha, I'm guessing you're just trolling or being silly. I don't believe this guy's comment is genuine.

[krunkaintdead69]

god is kinda cute. id do her

[BGDD27]

god's not a woman. i know because only a man could fuck the planet up this bad.

[LibraBaby25]

@BGDD27 couldnt agree with you more. this planet would be fucking awesome if alanis morissette was god.

[Sterndi1]

OMG, how ridiculous... God as a "person", angels with wings - holy crap!

[KaeMarshall]

1 person didn't bow down

[anickh]

alanis morisette is a good actress

[Tigerhawk1978]

Love the smile she gives Jay @ 3:22.

[prettylittlescars]

Kevin Smith is one of the all time greatest and strangest directors.

[SwampDaddy7]

Bow down, stupid!!

[TheMRBINKER]

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THAT GUY'S HEAD!"

[mpabromley]

Jay rules, Snoogens!

[AddictedtoBlistex]

Hahaha 3:07!

[kaziabir1]

Is that slutty looking woman supposed to be the goddess of what?

[bossinator666]

I just love kevin smith movies!!

[jw870206]

Rickman could have played God, but that would have been entirely too obvious. The man is brilliant. Metatron was the role for him, hands down.

[SpockLover27]

Why did she blow up his head...? The only thing I liked about this part was watching Mr Hottness. (Aka Alan)

[Berengier817]

@SpockLover27 She blew up his head because God is never wrong. She banished 2 Angels to Earth saying they can't re-enter Heaven. By entering the church, they will be cast aside of their sins, die and be able to re-enter Heaven. By proving God wrong, existence would cease to exist. She killed him so he couldn't enter the church. His head exploded because he was mortal (Lost his wings). Humans can't hear God's voice.

God went through 5 Adams before she figured that out.

[jw870206]

@SpockLover27 "Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out."

—Alan Rickman as Metatron in Dogma

Bartleby's wings were removed from him, thus making him mortal and no longer an angel.

[ForgetMeNot900]

So God's a Canadian.

...Seems appropriate, actually.

[jackolas2007]

God's a woman... it's funny coz it's blasphemous

[SmellyAmpitz]

Jay kissed god... not many people can say that :P

[angelboy78]

I saw this movie yesterday and I really liked it! I like the end, and conception of God showed here, despite it is very very far from my personal point of view about God ( I believe God is rather a pure energy, not and organic being,not a person).

[gariadara]

@angelboy78 I think God, being God, can be and do whatever the hell he/she/it/they can think of.

[xcwexdammage]

this movie is all wrong... morgan Friedman is the one tre god

[GuitarMicidal]

@xcwexdammage Friedman? BOO!!!!!!!!!!!

[pedroamaralcouto]

@17jesusochoa I checked out on Google and found His pictures. Now I know God is an old guy with a long white beard.

[Thegopaldn]

@pedroamaralcouto Gandalf = god imo :P

[joygasm916]

it's sad that nothing short of an ACT OF GOD can make Jay's stupid ass shut the fuck up lol

[1SlaytanicFreak]

I love Jay's rant towards the end.  Jay and Silent Bob kick ass!

[tarshalafi]

@17jesusochoa

are you 5?

[BlueTigress]

Why does Alanis Morissette being revelled as God make sense to me, and I'm a very Lax Jew.

[dietfreeman42718]

The only thing I was wondering at the end of this movie was.....what happen to the Angel who's head blow up?

Did God forgive him or did he send him to Hell? The answer maybe somewhere in the movie and I just missed it.

[AudioInklined]

@dietfreeman42718 well he did ask forgiveness.

and then he said "thank you."

seemed to imply (to me) forgiveness.

[clutchninja]

@AudioInklined thank you for putting me out of my misery i thought

[MasterCritical]

That is the most foul-mouthed profit I've ever seen.

[lyverbird]

Alanis plays God. Alanis gives birth to her first child. On Christmas Day. Cool...

[duckyjess]

@17jesusochoa owned

[tommyt1971]

The look on Jay's face at 3:11 always cracks me up...

[TwlightdragonDF]

alanis really did a great job....she plays a very childish and random god, but think about it..the world is like that...so mixed with the elements that the metatron tells us about her its pretty perfect.

[MrsChasen91]

@17jesusochoa no YOU are stupid. go masturbate yourself watching your Twilight and Transformers crap dickhead

[MrsChasen91]

@17jesusochoa and i'd call you a sexist and a racist douche. get over yourself an quit preaching! ps google's not always right

[drmjr]

I love the jaw raise at 2:38!

[BackToTheStates]

This shows the true compassion of God! God loves all of creation, even the evil people who trully deserve eternal damnation. But does he/she condemn them? No he loves them! And telling someone they're going to hell never turned them to salvation through Christ; only by loving them did they find God.

[MrVodkaking]

@17jesusochoa i hate to hate on you, but you did miss the whole point of the whole jesus thingy. go on being you.  and maybe give yourself a lazy afterthought hug.

[Himyvideoisthis]

@pp0u1110

I'm pretty sure they are just playing around with you

[ORACLE063]

Only Jay can make an omnipotent being stop in their tracks !!! Thats is power

[TheAdamBadawy]

@17jesusochoa Obvious troll is obviously trolling.

[oliviathefolkie]

I love the idea of God being a woman. It makes so much more sense that way. She is the Mother of all creation.

[ZKY2]

@oliviathefolkie Excapt that assumes God is organic and thus has a gender. Which mean it isn't God at all.

[DemonicSoul7]

@17jesusochoa God is all-powerful and can look like whatever God wants to. Also, when did the movie ever show God as being black? You're such a dumbass.

[Schragmeister]

@17jesusochoa Yeah dude, you just made yourself look like a genuine dyed-in-the-wool idiot. And wait... Are you saying... Google saw Jesus?! WHERE IS HE ON GOOGLE MAP, DAMN YOU!

Y'see, I'd rather fail at being a smartass than an expert being a dumbass.

[xxsangrealxx]

Bow down, stupid!

[LaDeejay]

@17jesusochoa Congratulations. You completely missed the point of the film.

[FreeIndividua]

@LaDeejay

And, point is?

[pyrogyra72]

Allen Rickman Is awesome! 

[EvilAngel1621]

2:26 to 2:36 is so funny

[h5u7p5gt]

yeah her voice makes my head want to explode too.

[DemonicSoul7]

@h5u7p5gt Listen to some of her songs and your head will really explode... with joy. (That doesn't make sense but w/e....)

[johnathankumberland]

After 7 Attempts At This Scene Kevin Smith Wasn't Happy With Jason Mews Reaction. So He Simply Told Him "Do It as Daffy Duck Would" The Vary Next Take He did As He Was Told And Well The Rest Is Pretty Much What You See !

[Jesthor]

I love Alan Rickman <3

His annoyed look at 2:06^^

[tommyt1971]

@Jesthor Checks his shirt, "It NEVER ends!!"

[SnapeKid]

"BOW, STUPID!!!"

I love this movie...

[defeatingdeath310]

"What the fuck is this shit? Who the fuck are you lady? Why isn't this broad talking?" LMFFAO!!!!! HAIL DOGMA!!!!!! :DDDDD

[defeatingdeath310]

"When the Lord speaks, the earth sees and trembles and the rocks split into peices. The mountains melt like wax before the Lord, before the Lord of all the earth the heavens proclaim his righteousness and all peoples see his glory!!!!" I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!! :DDDDDD

[twilightbiggestfan]

I love alan rickman in this when he is sarcastic he is the funniest person EVER

[SchizophobicBand]

haha, Alanis Morissette is awesome.

[Mikel3ambi]

hahahahaha "O_O WHAT THE FUCK HAPPEND TO THAT GUYS HEAD?!" i love the look on his face

[devilsjustice]

Metatron: It never ends! (grabs Gods skirt and uses it to wipe off brain juice.)

God: glares

Me: "....... Snerk......" O.0

[MissGreenDay7]

I thought Morgan Freeman was God.

[22reTOYOTA]

@MissGreenDay7 I thought George Burns was God. And the Devil.

[MrVodkaking]

Of course, Alanis is God!

[Nightcrawlerinsweden]

i LOVE this movie one of the best films ever made!^^ god being a women actually makes sence why does god have to be a male? would explain some dark events - god with pms

[lady81bird]

Best movie-God ever!

[yoginiclare]

One of my fave films, and God is a Woman- you know it makes sense! xxx

[123haninhk]

i love how god and metatron are so casual with each other.

[sssssz]

@123haninhk Some scriptures describe Metatron as almost being one with God (with him being the only angel in Heaven with the authority to sit down and whatnot) :o With that in mind, it almost seems like Metatron is God's consort. I mean, "companion" is sort of a charged word.

[moa373]

why does he say thank u to her?

hmm (right before she blows his head off :P)

[sssssz]

@moa373 The fate he was stuck with before this gambit was spending the rest of eternity in limbo, when everything else in the world comes to an end. His ploy failed since God did not allow it, but at least God is allowing him to die now. :(

[moa373]

@sssssz so where is he going to end up since he was human when he died ?

[sssssz]

@moa373 Hm. God seemed to forgive Bartleby at the end, so maybe he'll get to Heaven that way. Since she lifted off the curse, there's no paradox to happen anymore, I guess.

[moa373]

@sssssz it seems so.

btw, what is the music peace from the beginning of the clip to when bartleby is destoryed?????????????

[bjokkor]

thnx for the suberb upload

[balistik94]

Great movie.