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From: 43alley
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  • seems like jesus sent them to steal a donkey cuz he didn't want to walk anymore.

  • So, according to the gospels, Jesus liked to sit on his ass?

  • I LOL'ed so much when we was standing on the two donkeys! :D

  • hysterical! XD (and i actually believed this stuff.)

  • The end of the video was a stroke of genius! It was hilarious! Seeing the "image" all of a sudden "being real" and talking street!

    I'll bet seeing this done with "live" characters would probably be traumatic for some Xians! Maybe that's a stretch, but it's kinda funny to think about.

  • OMFSM!! That ending hit me by surprise--very nice!! People at work think I'm crazy now because I keep busting out laughing out of the blue. Keep up the great vids, I'm really enjoying this. To add to the contradictions--one of the first I found on my own was only Luke tells of the "criminal on the cross" who confessed and professed Jesus as Lord--in two other accounts they both mocked him. Yet for some reason, the former is the one promoted and celebrated in churches.

  • LOL ass.

    =w=

  • You don't walk through the J mans shot, i mean he was crucified for your sins, the least you can do is stay out of his eyeline.

  • LOLZ! Christian Bale....right?

  • lol @ 2:26

    nonstampcollector. :D

  • A I recall: Mathew. Mark and Luke are believed to come from the same source, John from another. The authors of the original that MML drew from wrote a series of aphorisms atributed to Jesus. (Those are mostly pretty good. Wish the original survived.) The story line was writen around it later. John was written later, apealing more to a Greek than a Hebrew audiance.

  • My goodness!!! If there is a god, the Bible has to be the worse mockery to him/her.

  • That must have been the most epic sight ever. A dude rides into to town on TWO donkeys and then screams like a manic about "sets" and how he's going to fuckin' kick somebodies ass! Oh to be a fly on the mud bricks.

  • Jesus - Extreme Ass Rider.

  • i like the collaberation with N.S.C

  • No no no, not Christain Bale, Christian Bible.

    Silly...

  • Did I really see, in that part when Jesus rides two donkeys, the two guys who figured out who made the things for which there's no known maker? o_O

  • So Jesus purposely told his followers to go into the town and STEAL a donkey for him so he could fulfill the prophecy. I bet a whole lot of people claiming to be the messiah came riding in on a donkey into the town and all the townspeople just went: oh, look there's another one of those wackos trying to pose as the One.

  • Haha, Christian Bale!

  • awwwwwww I understand now :)..........okay u totally didn't need to do that to jesus :P

  • Maybe Jesus was sitting on his own ass. i know, it says two asses, well if Jesus was like a modern televanglist or a Baptist minister, his butt might have been so big it was like two asses!

  • Lol those ass holes were stealing flat out for their precious cock boy jesus unreal.

  • Great Outtakes, Terminator Salvation!

  • This is really funny.

  • lmfao!!! CHRISTian Bale...Jesus CHRIST...coincidence? OH GOOD. GOOD FOR YOU!!!

  • osana in da house !!!

  • I am a christian and i honestly could not stop laughing at the christian bale improvisation. I have not laughed like that in a long while but onto serious matters...Jesus was not in an act scene,what He did came almost inherently ,it's the writers who would have gotten their knowledge of the hebrew texts mixed up.

  • @charliesplinter But all you know is what was written... so how do you know what he was really like?

  • @ExCreationist

    Ask that about every other man who has lived on the earth.

  • @charliesplinter If what the writers wrote is called into question, and there is no other source of knowledge about the subject matter, then the subject matter itself comes into question. Other individuals, such as Caesar, have their faces printed on money, construction projects with their inscriptions, things written in their own hands, etc. So we can deduce their character from the things that they did. If we have no reliable text on Jesus, how can we know what he was like?

  • @ExCreationist

    I have never met my great great grandfather. I don't have pictures of him and nothing is written in his name. His face does not appear in any portraits and no one has his birth certificate. He was not born in the United States but a 3rd world country so there are no government records of him. Does this mean he never existed? Yes or no? why?

  • @charliesplinter Your original comment was about Jesus' actions. What I am questioning is not whether or not Jesus existed, but if it is possible to know anything about him. You exist, so clearly you had a great great grandfather. Perhaps you know stories about him, or maybe there are no stories, it makes no difference. But in the case of Jesus, it means everything. We only have four 'reliable' books on Jesus' life, so if they contradict each other, it represents a problem.

  • @ExCreationist

    "Perhaps you know stories about him, or maybe there are no stories, it makes no difference"

    Let alone the fact that it is generally accepted by even scientists that Jesus existed as a real human being i find it hard to believe that you don't ask the same of characters like Alexander the Great. Here's a little fun fact for you: Jesus story was written about 40 years after His death, Alexander the Great's 400 years. Both did great things. Why is it harder to believe Jesus'?

  • @charliesplinter I have read about Alexander the Great, and I don't believe all of those stories. But I do believe that he did things like, oh, conquer cities and rename them after himself. And I believe he died prior to conquering the far East. And I don't have any reason to think Jesus didn't exist, the question is about what he did while he was alive. How can you know what Jesus did if all of the manuscripts written about him are flawed?

  • @ExCreationist

    " I have read about Alexander the Great, and I don't believe all of those stories."

    Then what would you believe? If everyone who sits down to write a book is so untrustworthy then you should stop studying history in general. In fact stop reading every book and newspaper since some stories may be beyond your scope of believing. What it boils down to is you choose to believe what you want not because it's not true.

  • @charliesplinter I critically consider what I see/hear/read. Ever hear the phrase "don't believe everything you read"?

    One of the problems with Alexander the Great is that there are contradictions between his historians -- his final words, for instance. A maximum of one version of the story can be true. There is no source of knowledge about Jesus except what is in the Bible. When the bible tells four conflicting stories, how can you decide which is most correct, or if any are correct?

  • @ExCreationist

    "I critically consider what I see/hear/read. "

    Since You don't trust the past and are fraught with skepticism of literature written before your lifetime then why even bother going to school or college? Since all that stuff you are taught may not be the "truth" as you want it to be. There are contemporary sources other than the Bible that mention Jesus, i think you should look them up.

  • @charliesplinter There are sources contemporary with the gospels, but not with Jesus' life. And they don't mention any details. Again, I am not arguing that Jesus didn't exist, I am just asking how we can know anything about him, since the gospels do not agree with each other in their accounts and there is no other source (like writing something himself, putting his face on money, building something, etc.) that gives us an idea about what Jesus was like.

  • @ExCreationist

    It is only logical to reason that the Romans would not take time out of their day to write about the biography of a Jewish teacher. It was the least of their concerns and this isn't even an apologist statement. It's a fact. Again i take you back to my great grandfather example. Do you need to have your face printed on money to verify your existence? Josephus briefly discusses Jesus' character and it is verified in the gospels. What more do you ask?

  • @charliesplinter Josephus has one sentence about people who worship Jesus existing, and it was written after the Gospels. I can verify that you had a g-grandfater, but I don't know anything about him other than that he existed. Jesus is allegedly a great teacher who performed miracles, but the only books that detail that contradict each other. If you accept that the writers of those books messed up, then how can you know anything about what Jesus actually did?

  • Jesus fucking owns your ass! lol

  • Jesus is awesome he rode two donkeys. mad skills!

  • this shit is friggin hilarious! still lmfao.......

  • Nice reference to NonStampCollector's charachters! :D

  • the temper tantrum at the end is AWESOME!  great vids.

  • jesus told two people to steal a donkey , lol

  • i thought all that talk about "cometh unto thee daughter" "riding an ass", " tied an ass where never a man sat" and "casting garments" was going somewhere interesting, but uh....yeah

  • @PlanetoftheAtheists

    You said it. What a BORING story.

    I mean:

    "1. And so Jesus walked around the table three times. 2. And he did choose the middle seat an which to besat. 3. He pulled the chair so that he may be seated. 4. Thomas sayeth "sit not ye there Lord, for here also is an empty seat next to me." 5. And Jesus spake unto Thomas, "Nay. I pray thee. Nay. This is the seat I have chosen, so this is the one upon which I will sit." 6. And Jesus did sit on the middle chair and was pleased."

  • @jazzx251 LOL ... and then there was much feasting and rejoicing in the sight of the lord.

  • @jazzx251 wow, he must be a very picky guy, and simple, being pleased to sit in a chair, albeit one he wanted.

  • LOL @ Jesus riding split donkey

  • nice Cristian bale part at the end lolzolololozlololoz fuck batman u are a dick lolzolololololz whoot whoot jesus = batman sweet god the world would be less weird

  • Great vid...

    but who is the douchebag upset about the guy walking into the shot? He's just a bit full of himself, isn't he?

  • lol nice tribute to Christian Bale!

  • WOW

    U know what I actually believe in God. But the Bible is just so ridiculous for me. Yeah sure, anyone can imagine that an almighty powerful Messiah is going to arrive here in this world on a fucking donkey...

    What a great way of entrance huh?

  • Matthew is my favorite gospel. Zombies and dual-riding donkeys FTW!

  • Fucking awesome! Wow.

  • wow, christian bale almost made me cry!

  • So what about this donkey, or was it two donkeys, ....did Jesus send his Apostles to steal the donkey? Or did Jesus have some co-conspirators in the background who provided the donkey. Maybe they were the same people who sent a man carrying a pitcher of water to meet the Apostles and provide a place to eat the passover? [Mark 14:13-16]

    Who were these shadowy "friends" of Jesus and what was their role?

    Ebal the Atheist

  • @ebaltrace Reptillian Illuminati getting ready for the new world order!

  • @ebaltrace

    No, Jesus just 'took it/them". The not steeling commandment obviously is just for people.... As well as the not killing...

  • @grozde If I take your car, will I be stealing it? Give me your address, I'm going to take your car if it's not stealing.

    Ebal the Atheist

  • @ebaltrace

    Are you God - or God's son?? ;-))

    calm down, man - I meant it ironically.

    Jesus seems meek and endearing, but is not better than his "father"... It's strange we don't find any rapes in his "biographies"...

  • @grozde Jesus was just another sinner.

    It's there in the Bible for anyone to see if they had eyes to see.

    Ebal the Atheist

  • @ebaltrace

    And a very hypocritical one to it.

  • It is very obvious that the author of Matthew's Gospel did not understand Hebrew Poetry when it doubles a line by saying the same thought two ways. He thought there were two donkeys when there was only one. He reveals that he was a Gentile and not a Jew as most Christians believe.

    Ebal the Atheist

  • Him riding the 2 horses was so epic.

  • The ending was fucking brilliant mate!

  • May JE-hovah and ZEUS have mercy on your soul;

    and may JE-ZEUS (sp?) save you..

  • Correct spelling is Yeshua.

  • actually, it depends on which version of the bible you are reading. Jehovah and Yeshua are both correct

  • Great series! This last one is hilarious! Has Christian Bale seen this? LOL!

  • Just because you don't believe the Illiad or Odyssey doesn't mean it's not true. Just because you don't believe in Zeus doesn't mean he's not real. Zeus is real, and Hercules died for us so we could be forgiven of our sins. I honestly hope you will find the King of Mount Olympus and allow him to change your heart, mind and life. Zeus Bless.

    Jibber jabber.

  • that was a funny joke lucky hurcules didnt die

  • Yeah! Prove that Zeus isn't real! Prove it, you donkey-heads!

  • you are my hero

  • I wish I could thumb this comment up...

    But, I also wish to say that the time of the Third Coming of Horus is among us.

    XD

  • Haha!

    You can't thumb up or down my comments! Mua-haha!

  • @43alley

    We can now! =O

  • @43alley Lmao! I'm getting that on a shirt. "Zeus Bless You." Maybe I will start saying that when someone sneezes as well.

  • So exactly which gospel do you believe, taurus? Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John?

    Don't say all of them, because none of them agree on anything, so if you believe one, you automatically disbelieve the other 3. So which one?

  • no what makes it untrue is the constant contradictions within the bible itself.

  • @TheTaurusthebull "I honestly hope you will find the Lord and allow him to change your heart, mind and life. God Bless"

    I think what god did to Pharoah is what he is doing to the atheist right now. Or maybe we just have a lot more neurons than you.

  • @TheTaurusthebull

    You haven't explained the grevious error in the Bible.

  • lol at the nonstampcollector bit

  • I wish you would ditch the ending of this video. It is pointless and crude.

  • Matthew's gospel says Jesus SAT on the donkey and colt, but the contradiction is there nonetheless. Matthew's gospel says he wanted the adult donkey AND colt, whereas the others only mention one.

  • That was funny:)

  • but have you read this one..

    Luk 16:28  For I have five brethren; that he may testify unto them, lest they also come into this place of torment.

    Luk 16:29 They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.

    Luk 16:30 And he said, Nay, father Abraham: but if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent.

    Luk 16:31 And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead.

  • Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Stop doing that 43alley! Otherwise these religious holidays wont be work-free days anymore and we´ll have to go to work.

    PS: I´d love to be riding upon an ass right now. ;)

  • otago, not trying to disprove anything, just highlighting the credulity and irrationality of humans and their willingness to believe patent nonsense

  • Christ-ian Bale...

  • great points!! awesome video!

  • think raven think! there's time yet

  • not trying to be a prick or anything but i dont really see how these inconsistencies affect the spirituality of the bible...well...atleast in this case however i see what you mean about all the inconsisities with matther lucke john or whatever but i'm actually mormon and so we have another book the "book of mormon" and it kinda fills in alot of gaps in the bible

  • They aren't gaps . . . they are inconsistencies and contradictions that *prove* the Bible is not true.

  • Mad Max is f'cking nothing compared to Jesus.

  • One thing the Gospels all seem to agree upon; Jesus is totally a donkey thief. Seriously he never asks the owner of the ass(es) or anything, just has his men untie it and rides into town.

    BTW Christian Bale thing was brilliant.

  • i have to admit, i laughed out loud several times at the end credits.. christian bale bit.. i''ve heard it before, but it seems to fit with the cartoon animation.

    Brilliant, well done.

    Look forward to many more of these, keep em coming 43alley.

  • The Book of Matthew was actually written after the rest of the Gospels, which might explain a lot of the discrepancies and need to fill in prophecy fulfillment.

  • The Gospel of Matthew was the 2nd gospel written from the 4 gospels...

  • Right. Mark came first (early 70s AD), and then Matthew and Luke were written by basically copying most of Mark. Their wording in the Greek translation is almost identical to Mark's.

    We can date Luke to around 100 AD because it also uses a lot of Antiquities of the Jews by Josephus (which was published in 93 AD).

    Matthew we can date to around the 80s or 90s.

    I don't think Matthew and Luke used each other, but were independent from one another.

  • After reading them vertically (all the same time) and puting the stories besides each other I strongly believe Luke used Matthew in the same way John used all the other three despite the accepted standpoint.

  • Really? I assumed that they didn't influence each other because Matthew really slathers on the hyperbole, even more so than Luke. That's why some people (like

    Quouar above) think Matthew comes much later because the story of Jesus keps getting more ridiculous and supernatural.

    Matthew also seems to contradict the other gospels the most, which would suggest that the author either (1) copied from many sources without regard of contradictions or (2) wasn't aware of other sources.

    I dunno.

  • I made my conclusion by comparing the stories and language, not by how supernatural they are.

    Matthew follows more obviously the order of Mark, while the stories of Luke became more fragmented. Also when comparing all four it seems obvious that the details of stories are travelling in the order Mark-Matthew-Luke-John.

    Matthew inserted a lot of stories and would-be prophecies, what Luke cut and racionalised if you ask me.

    John is the most contradicting by the way.

  • @43alley Hey who does Jesus' voice in the last scene? :)

  • Oh, sorry. My mistake.

  • John was last.

  • Again, no real violence in this vid. It's only the second one in this series.

  • Is that a knock against the series or a knock against the Bible?

  • I dislike violence so it's your guess ;-)

  • What did you use to animate the face at the end of the video?

  • because we dont respect god we are waiting for the islamic world to enslave us?

    ahhm.....alright what ever

  • You are aware that you typed several sentences worth of words without making a single bit of sense? And I'm not saying that you messed up your grammar, I'm saying that what you just typed made absolutely no coherent sense or meaning whatsoever.

  • LOL!

  • HAHAHA the credits made me lmao

  • I haven't read the bible at all, but is it did jesus ride on two donkeys like that? Hell, then the bible got more action than Die Hard.

  • LOL christian bale ending

  • Did Jesus pay for those animals? Or did he just have his disciples steal them?

  • Matthew contains contradictions with old testament and with ITSELF too.

  • Its interessting that even according to the text the Diciples steal a donkey for Jesus to make him look like the messiah.

  • Wheres that ending from, its a classic...

  • It's Christian Bale going apeshit on a stagehand on a movie set earlier this year.

  • cool, thanks.

  • I think the ass, colt, and donkey were stacked like ice cream scoops and jesus was the cherry. Bravo this ranks up there with monty python!

  • love the ending! :D

  • rodeo jesus > raptor jesus

  • AND in the Old Testament is not always another something, but an added value of that same something. So Zechariah could have left the text with riding upon an ass - but to specify it he says upon a colt the foal of an ass. (still an ass).

    Now it is likely that Matthew used the same form as the OT, to make it become true. By doing that he shows he didn't understand it and that it probably did not happen.

    Either way, Jesus had his disciples steal an animal. Well every ass needs a hole...

  • I absolutely LOVE the Christian Bale rant and the NSC cameo. Bravo!!!! Encore, Encore!

  • type in "el nino predicador" and tell me what you think about that video!

  • LOL. And that's when I said, "You want me to fucking trash your lights?"

  • Stealing barn animals is inmoral.

  • HAAHHAHAHHAHAH LOL!

    THANKS MAN!

  • Jesus sent people to steal??? lol...thou shalt not do that!

  • Does this mean that the ass and foal were stolen from someone else?

  • Yeah. If you read the actual text that I left out for flow, you'll see that Jesus also said, "Look, if they try to stop you, tell them it's for the Messiah, and they will let you have them."

    So he tells his henchmen to take the animals without asking, and if the owner catches them, use intimidation.

    Jesus was sorta like Tony Soprano.

  • OH MY GOODNESS! He roadeth BOTH an ass AND a colt!?

    Oh surely though beeth the MESSIAH!

  • 0:26 riding upon an ass? I think I'll record that and send it to a friend to use as a ring tone. 2:25 are those NSC's characters?

  • Lol, it was Christian Bale's tirade.

  • Atheists FTW!!

  • I saw a shout out to the Non-stamp collector. LOL

  • haha, i love christian bale =)

  • 2:25

    I lol'd when I saw the nonstampcollector drawings XD

  • 2:25

    LOL worlds collide.

  • nice videos thanks :)

  • Exactly... Another great video 43alley. ★★★★★

    Katalyzt

  • I love your videos and so do my children!

  • I uhh... Was under the assumption that prophecies were supposed to happen on there own - you know, unassisted? How does it count as prophetic if they go out of their way to make the events happen? I suppose it can't be, which is the entire point of this presenation. Great job 43; just like always :) Of course, the content of the story its self is absurd. Good luck getting one donkey to do what you want, let alone two. lol. Anybody who believes this has never actually ridden even one donkey.

  • Ahahaha that animation is priceless, *****

  • I just couldn't stop laughing at the end... The "lamb of god" swearing away at that poor bloke... Marvelous!!

  • Maybe jesus was riding a human ass?

  • I just watched the entire movie compilation. Great job, 43Alley! I spent a lot of time practically rolling at the presentation. I like your style.

  • Nice nod to NonStampCollector.

    Poor guy, he got Christian Bale'd.

  • Nice nod to Nonstampcollector.

  • I second.

  • i third?

  • What is their usual response to this?

  • Context. We're always taking everything out of context.

    HERE, they say that the stories are written from differing perspectives therefore the 4 stories are going to be a little different.

    If you look at an apologetics website, their big thing is "if there is an explanation, ANY explanation, then it's not a contradiction."

    The angel rolling away the rock part? It's written "out of sequence." He could have moved it BEFORE the women got there (in all versions).

    Tada! No contradiction!

  • Oh, no I meant about the donkey thing.

  • Oh... he didn't get up on both of them, of course. He rode one for a while, then the other for a while. Or he rode one and the other carried luggage.

    They may even retreat and say it's sloppy language or whatever, but it doesn't matter because prophecy was fulfilled.

    But here's the kicker, they can't see that Matthew forced the prophecy here. I also like how Jesus made those guys steal the donkeys so he could force the prophecy.

    Prophecy should be unavoidable, not easily attained on purpose.

  • Yeah it's so obvious. Second, you're right, it's not really prophecy fulfilled If I read what the prophecy says and then do it.

    These people either don't know or don't care about being pissed on and told it's raining. Have you seen ProfMTH's series 'Jesus wasn't the messiah'? It's really good.

  • I know this ridiculousness. However I think that an angel sitting on the rock would be important enough to be in all of them. However these are the people that think god made all the fossils and strata layers to test our faith.

  • LMAO! the double donkey ride is incredible!

  • no wonder they strung jesus up, what a bastard.

  • So these guys were stealing asses to make this story come true? I believe that makes them thieves and that is punishable by stoning! Not to mention that they broke one of the commandements.

  • just great jesus loves this vid keep up the good work expose all gods for what they are EVIL

  • Now that's really a good way of getting ppl's attention.Jesus have self-esteem problem.

  • Does anyone see the irony of using the rant at the end of a guy named "Christian"?

  • Jesus came on an ass? smirk.

  • you dirty prick! :P