Ellen Degeneres-TheBeginning-Part 2

[ClashOfTheKunai]

Every joke has a little bit of truth. <3 I love you Ellen.

[KEYvindettah]

OMG, my name is KheliAnna, pronounced Ahhna... I hate when they say Anna. You know the other way.

[eiffeltower123]

@comicfan740 yes, it does appear to be Penny Marshall. I've seen recent photos of her with those glasses.

[Musiclover1494]

48 people work at the 1-800 number

[ComicFan740]

9:44 is that Penny Marshall from Laverne and Shirley?

[GracieB32]

This Is Some Funny Shit!😂It Never Gets Old!💚

[anbr90]

"so if you're in the wild try to catch the eye of a monkey or a wolf or something like that... " GREAT advice ;)

[tettetessy94]

l want her sweater, so cute : o

[ssmadan]

Is it just me, or Ellen had a subtle message in there when she said - "we think we're the only with feelings. We're the only ones with a relationship ?"

[Gaychick8]

She's hilarious!

[izzyrox2000]

"so the emphasis is on the first syllable, for some reason I thought it was kathYYYY!!!

[keleic]

i feel bad about killing bugs now lol thanks for that ellen XD love you always nonethless

[sam548024]

Ellen looks older then than she does now!

[vdott2010]

she change so much

[chiongcliffe]

This whole video taught me so muuuuuch!!

[Hellcome2play]

I actually used the remind me again how you pronounce your name? Thing ; her answer: anna. *smacks self in head*

[keleic]

@Hellcome2play lol well keep in mind that "anna" CAN be pronounced in two different ways one is "anna" and the other sounds more like "Ahhna" lol

[TheSyriaFreedom2011]

I 'll go to sleep just after i finish this video , oh and that one, and that one also

ohhh look at that one it's definitely hilarious

Damn its 5:40 am

[macydeaner]

@TheSyriaFreedom2011 My life right now.

[mebigirish]

spiders dont rase there kids they leave there pearints

[Xironarc]

The part about the fly reminds me of Dory so much :')

[musics4me]

I love watching her show. But not until I saw this that I now know she brings wisdom into her stand up. I love her a million more.

[forevermorezanessa]

I CAN CLEARLY SEE THAT 4 PEOPLE ARE HOMOPHOBIC AND DONT HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR LOOSE UP GUYS THIS IS SOME FUNNY COMEDY RIGHT HERE YOU WONT GET BETTER THAN THIS :D

[WannaJoinMyWolfpack]

I've never seen a 1-800 number on the back of any shampoo or conditioner bottles and I've looked at every bottle of every brand for the express purpose of calling it to ask those questions.

[Rowdie31]

@WannaJoinMyWolfpack Only some bottles have it, I've seen some that haev the nuber and some that don't...also there are 1-800 numbers on the back of other bottles too. :)

[100StoneCameron]

wat year was this



[contact1araya]

she smiles too much....doesnt it hurt after a while?

[InEvry1ThereIsBeauty]

She's so awesome, I love her, I would love to meet her, she's an icon!

[epicshrimpgerald]

i just got here and they changed the end now there like 9 videos!



[coolio23766]

Her comedy is both hilarious and symbolic :) now that's skills!!!

[ComicalFox]

actually, spiders die once they lay their legs so... Stephanie would have died first and CHIRS would have had his legs full... until he died then again does it even matter? It's a joke

[monwoo10]

@ComicalFox lol i do the same thing. i over think something even though i know its fake or a joke.

[yuriynyr]

Look at you! haha

[crackflick98]

If a spider is in my house, I HAVE to kill it. I am terrified of them. Heck I'm even afraid to kill them sometimes because I'm afraid I'm going to miss and it jump on me (which has happened and I FREAKED) Or miss and it run really fast and freak me out.

[smsinaz88]

LOVE HER :)

[ilovelifewhimsical27]

kathYYY!!! LOL I peed myself lol lol lol lol lol

[FHKJF1]

The woman at 9:58 was lady gaga

[HDMadMax]

@FHKJF1 was penny marshal... nice try though ! I can see the resemblance lol

[GGenerationn]

asshole ant :D:D

[Creux282]

45 people had to call the 1-800 number

[kingdomkey01]

>TrainToAlaksa

because god is an ass hole

[ducttapeee]

i love with the spider..and others, how you only ever hear one side of the conversation...she doesnt do 2 sides, just the one

[MnemosyneEllenore]

She is amazeing. Even in a funny way, she makes a point!

Who cares if she's gay?

[dameagatha100]

You look very familer. Im very atracted to you. Your a good listner.

That whole part makes me crack up

[charliepry]

sprousel0ve - please block comments, the fighting is retarded

[runstygge]

"bla bla bla what ever u says" XD she is just great

[TimV9598]

She is so funny how she takes everyday things and makes them hilarious.

[brassie12345]

Pause at 6:33

Thumbs up if you think that's Sexy ;)

[changl72]

gosh, I keep trying to give Ellen a chance, but she is not funny at all!

[martiT36]

@changl72 you have no humor. it is so sad

[UofLCardFan90]

@changl72

To each her own.

[zani2009]

45 PPL GO SCREW YOURSELF

[rachelcalilopez]

lmao love her

[katerinavarda]

:'D



[maxmison1]

I don't care what those child molesters say Ellen is definitely going to heaven. Me on the other hand........too many cockroaches are on my conscious.

[artzfartz2416]

45 people work at the 1-800 number

[karladacosta]

Hilarious! XD

[Jazmingrint]

Penny Marshall at 9:45

[houlmouth]

wouldn't it be an Ant-pool lane

[wiseguyknowsit]

@Mostafaqasemdarx btw in my opinion all Dane Cook does is curse constantly and goes crazy and walks around on stage while flailing his arms around nonstop.

[artzfartz2416]

@wiseguyknowsit Dane Cook also does a lot of drugs before a show and rips off other comedian's material. He isn't very funny. Absolutely agree brother.

[WilliamEdmiston]

In his opinion, Dane Cook is a funny comedian. Stop crushing other's opinions for being stupid when you spew your opinions as if they are fact.

[wiseguyknowsit]

@Mostafaqasemdarx Dane Cook? He just cusses constantly. It's hard to believe You can't find one funny comedian that is female. Many sexist find women beautiful and beautiful enough that they should not drive race cars and just do beauty pageants and cook. There's many definition to what sexist. Look it up. And even if we name comedians we thin are funnier you wouldn't think so because your opinion is no female is funny.

[WilliamEdmiston]

How does his opinion that most women aren't good comedians make him sexist? It's an opinion, one that I share. I find Ellen funny, but I don't think most woman comedians are as funny as men. This is probably because, as a man, I can better relate to a male comics sense of humour better than I can relate to a female comics sense of humour. Don't just call someone prejudiced because they have a different opinion than you.

[pastelliazzurro]

@WilliamEdmiston I'm a woman and I don't find most women funny because they talk about 'womens issues' like pms, weight loss, etc. thats not what i want to hear in a comedy routine. but i also don't want to hear about a mans relationship in a comedy routine. i like comedians who don't rely on their gender for material, like ellen and dane cook.

[Unfortunatebeauty]

she is so fucking funny this the best comedian show i love to re watch over and over ellen is the best

[yoyodindin]

yay 4 ellen saving flys

[zani2009]

45 people try doing stand up!!!!

[LoveeTayyx3]

-remind me again, how u pronounce ur name?

- -Kathy.

-ohh ok, emphasis on the FIRST syllable.

:p

[lebron23asa]

Lol KATHYYYY!!!

[hellokombuzz]

LMAO she's friggginnn FUNNY!!!!! :-D I LOVE YOU ELLEN!!!

[AbbyNCIS93]

Ellen is so funny. Why is there a number on back of a shampoo bottle

[Velocity98]

43 people get their heads shampooed for them

[Catlver1]

@Velocity98 Now it's 45! Why people why!

[spooftracks]

@Velocity98 tukish bath lol ;)

[FadedxLovexx]

I now know what to do if I ever get stranded in the wild... thank you ellen.

[monkeymaniac18]

"i'm very attracted to you" :D

[KirFarrugia]

It's awkward how you can hear the audience laughing at 7:38 instead of a minute of silence or ''yeah, she's right. we do think we have some sort of higher power on animals..''

[nedarooni]

I enjoy my life more when I make Ellen part of my day!

[sephirothisdabest]

Let those humans try shooting silk out of their but and see what they can make!

[eyasohma]

humor isnt universal....

[Mostafaqasemdarx]

She tries soooo damn hard to be funny but she really can't, i've been watching many of her videos and they don't seem to be funny to me at all. To me women are not funny, they're just beautiful.....i'm just sayin.

[83paws]

@Mostafaqasemdarx yeah, you really kind of need to have a sense of humour to understand.

[Mostafaqasemdarx]

@83paws

Sense of humour?.......I laugh at Jim Carrey, Russell Peters, Steve Harvey, etc.............Just because I find women like Ellen not funny, doesn't me I don't have a sense of humour.......The reason why you're saying that is probably because you are like one of those people who laughs at anything, even the silly things.

[distillmanson]

@Mostafaqasemdarx Ellen DeGeneres is a comic genius. She is up there with Roseanne Barr and Lucille Ball. Whether or not you think she is funny does not change that fact.

[RuthieJey]

@Mostafaqasemdarx

Jim Carrey, Russel Peters, Steve Harvey are MEN! If you do not like Ellen and her sense of humour, GTFO!

[logybear12]

@Mostafaqasemdarx Shut the fuck up men are not great they are just a waste!! so fuck you she is great.

[gencas437]

@Mostafaqasemdarx Psh- sexist jackass. Even if you don't like Ellen go try watching other female comedians. There are some really great ones out there.

[Mostafaqasemdarx]

@gencas437

How could I be a sexist when I've just said women are beautiful?! Do u even know what sexist means you dumb ass???what if I said women are not physically strong, would u still call me a sexist you mother fucker? I just don't find women funny, what's wrong with that? And yes I have watched other female comedians, and I didn't find any of them funny at all......Why don't you give me a name of a female comedian who is as much funny as Dane cook or russell peters are? Admit it, u can't.

[artzfartz2416]

@Mostafaqasemdarx Now because you feel that Dane Cook is funny, we all can agree that you don't have a sense of humor. Kristen Wiig is wayyyy funnier than Dane Cook. She is versatile and doesn't need to snort cocaine before a show to be funny. Oh, also, she's on SNL full-time. Amy Pohler, Tina Faye, Chealse Handler, Erin Folley, Whitney Cummings, Margaret Cho, Lisa Lampnaelli, Ellen Degeneres and hell even Joan Rivers is funnier than Dane Cook. That enough for you?

[Gleekedgal]

@Mostafaqasemdarx You're labeling women as just being beautiful, like they are not capable of anything else, so yes! You are being sexist! Saying women are not physically strong is also a sexist comment.

[WilliamEdmiston]

It's stereotyping, not sexist. Stereotyping is softer than sexism, like saying women are not physically strong. Sexism is more severe, like taking away a women's right to vote. Also, it depends on how you word it. I can say that generally speaking women are not physically strong. It is a truth then; compared to most men, most women are not as strong. Its because women lack the amount of testosterone that men have, so they do not have as large a physique.

[Gleekedgal]

@WilliamEdmiston K, whatever!

Anyways, saying that women are there to only look pretty for you is idiotic and sexist, Mostafaqasemdarx.

[Gleekedgal]

@Mostafaqasemdarx Ellen Degeneres is much funnier than them, sad that you're too humorless to see that.

[WilliamEdmiston]

I'm not going to stick up for this Mosta person because he didn't help his case. However, you are just as much an idiot as he is for saying he doesn't have a sense of humour for liking the comedians he mentioned. Its all a matter of opinion.

[Gleekedgal]

@WilliamEdmiston I'm not an idiot.

[M0v3t0C4n4d4]

00:19 to 00:46 LLOL!

[soniquespark2000]

this is for mentally retarded....try russel peter ppl

[M0v3t0C4n4d4]

@soniquespark2000 Have you sheen ma bayshball?....soniquepark2000 was mashterbating!

[kelseyhm]

OMG I DUCK TOO!...Oh.. But I can't drive...and when Im in the passenger seat, I duck..I really don't know why.

[chaikinod]

Catheeeeiiii!!!!!

look at u lol

[stardoll232]

Ellen is litterly one of my faverot people in the world, i love her

[jooka27]

@stardoll232 literally*

[lakitalover]

Um...don't baby spiders eat their mothers for nourishment after they hatch? And female mantises eat their mates. Insects aren't exactly big on family bonds.

[Aiyuri100]

she's so funny haha

[ecrisosto]

41 people who disliked thought........ Oh wait, i have a life.

[xXxFlowerbombxXx]

Now I feel sorry for all the spiders that ended up in my vaccum cleaner :(

[88888Di88888]

Genius!

[raenBow27]

'Chris was so kind, wouldn't kill a fly.'

 She is truly brilliant.

[KATEisFAB]

I cried when I killed a spider once. I felt SO bad. And I was like 17 years old.

[rachel25lee]

LOLOLOL I love that: "That one a**hole ant." LOL My god, that entire colloquy. Love it! XD

[Molund]

We use 10% of our brain.. imagine if we used the other 60%

[Paaaanic]

shes just a good and clever person. sometimes ppl in the audience laugh at the wrong time... i dunno

[Alyn08]

I love the fly on the mirror part lol!

"Hey, you wait here...Don't come with me...Are you mocking me?"

[ExchangeVlog]

wow her eyes are so blueee

[LadyGM720]

Ka-THY!!! lmfao!

[LadyGM720]

I love the shampoo joke! SO TRUE!

[yuetching]

Her expressions is timeless..she is so precious =)) she is

[JustAnotherX]

Poor Kathy. X-D

[imafuckingsuperstar]

asshole ant xD

[jayjay1k]

3:40 omg I've never heard Ellen curse lol :)

[LadyGM720]

@MansProfils hahahahahaha good play on words! that would be what illiterate a-holes see when they hit the dis i like button! LMFAO! XD

[sandra18097]

@MansProfils oh so 41 people were black is what you're saying? fuck you.

[MansProfils]

@sandra18097 huh? Where did you get that? Never meant anything than the wordplay. It's curious that you thought it, though. I think that you are the one with some serious issues...

[aboulmorr]

6:32

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHH­HHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[Mad123die123]

i loveeeee ellen. shes sooo funny.

[SammmeeBee]

Funny anf true!! <3 Ellen!!

[TheAmandaBeans]

"They Say We Use 10 % Of Our Brain, And I Think Imagine What Can We Accomplish If We Use The Other 60 % Do You Know What Im Saying ? " Ellen 9:00-09:08 funny as hell

[tocp03]

"Did you wet your hair?" I assume that's the shampoo equivalent of "Did you plug it in?"

[TrainToAlaska]

Why are people bitchin' about someone's sexuality?

That's soo stupid, I can't even understand it!

[musicgirl999]

Ellen is my favorite comedian!

[yrubberduckyy]

Haha!!! Infisis on the first letter!!! KITHY!! OH!! KATHY

[esaywhat12]

I noticed that yesterday and it perplexed me that it would pick it up I wondered if they had funerals

[godluven44]

You go, I'll stay here.

[missacejay]

AND DRAGONFLIES STAY ON DRAGONS! :D

[HazieRox]

kaTHYYYY

[TheJessaEmarie]

"Aww, and then they just nuzzle you." LOL!

[SeanpaulProductions]

"Look at youuu" :L

[Tallblondie12]

im crying from laughing so hard.

[stanman15084]

funniest women on earth bar none!!ellen your #1 in my book.

[sstuck1993]

The fly part is my favorite." You look very familiar........im very attracted to you." She reminds me of my Journalism Teacher. except shes not gay

[WolfspiritAlou]

@sstuck1993

...actually, she IS gay.

[sstuck1993]

@WolfspiritAlou i know Ellens gay. my journalism teacher isnt.

[WolfspiritAlou]

@sstuck1993

oh, my mistake ^^;

sorry 'bout that.

[sstuck1993]

@WolfspiritAlou

lol :) its all good :)

[isabeltulloch]

FANNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY­YYYYYYY

[jda112694]

HEY YOU WAIT HERE! LOL

[transfrmpnguinz]

the way she rambles reminds me of nigahiga's rants or off the pill vids

[guns4hire2000]

Dori does stand-up!

[TheFranzruss]

i wish to meet ellen before i die...

[illusions142]

@TheFranzruss me too. it's on my bucket list =)

[midprod]

i lover her

[mattmrc]

I am that one asshole ant :)

[drewbain1]

Is that Penny Marshall at 09:47?

[ImUrPita]

@drewbain1 yup sure is

[tamster225]

"Did you wet your hair first? You're welcome!" roflmao. 

[spudnugget]

I love how in 3:57 as the ant she checks all 6 legs :P hilarious and clever.

[ilyjoesphadam]

I love when she's just staring around at 0:23

Gosh Ellen :)

[nikkyv203]

O MY GOODNESS i watch ants all the time! i always ask my friends if they watch ants too n they call me weird. glad im not alone

[bozaki87]

@nikkyv203 u are not alone my friend.... :D

[Istaru97]

@nikkyv203 You do realize that she's joking right?

[amberalysonRIP]

@Istaru97 it fun to watch them

[interestish]

Those 41 people who disliked this are IDIOTS.

[paradisoFain]

I'm British and I've tried listening to American comedians before, but they just have this totally different sense of humour that I can't get into. But Ellen is so what I'm used to and what I like, just polite, curious observations about the world. :D

[kent80082006]

very funny and very inspiring

[RebelFanzel]

"thank God I thought I was alone. You look very famliar"lol

i love her spider impresion haha

[silverashranch2]

lol the transcribe audio captions are hilarious XD 00:28 - 00:38 it says " dont directly at as threatening to them actually this idea isnt that what makes the democratic plans XD i see if you lower taxes and less spending"

[HazieRox]

kathYYYYYYY !

oh god , i think i just killed myself laughing .