I too avoid people I see in public if I'm not prepared to or expecting too. I feel that my interactions with people always need to be interesting and witty. So, I worry that others will find me boring, if I'm not prepared. I think however, that it's totally ok to be unsociable, if you are ok with it. It really only is a problem, if you torture yourself over it, or judge yourself harshly because you're not meeting some imaginary standard for what you 'should' be like or how you should behave.
Not just Social Anxiety people. Other Anxiety Disorders too. I am PTSD/Disthymia/Gen Anx and I have done this same thing you talk about so so many times. It has gotten easier to combat over the years but I still have that "undesire" to see the person or people in a situation as you described.
It's the same with me when I see ppl i know in stores and it happens to me all the time coz I live in small city and have lived here for 30 yrs so I recognize alot of faces it seems every time I go out i'll see some one I know and for past 11 yrs i've rarely gone out in public so now when I do coz i've been tryin to go out alot I always see ppl I knew 10 yrs ago and it's really awkward coz i've been doing badly for past decade and don't know what to say for myself.
Jesus can sent you free. he is the only hope to man kind, Jesus said come to me and I will give u a new life! ask Jesus to come to your heart,that Jesus died in the cross so everybody that accept him will have peace and eternal life.
Even though sometimes is hard to decide if it's the disorder or our own personality who talks, or reacts in situations like these i really think it's the disorder, i have pass through similar situations and it just doesn't make sense, why am i trying to avoid to greet a nice person i know? But it happens and sometimes we look like if we were arrogant by mistake. Take Care :-)
very true in my case as well; i avoid any type of social situations. Sometime i seem like a jerk and i end up pushing people away even more. At this point, honesty, im so tired of trying; i think im just accepting the fact that i will be like this for the rest of my life.
Lena, you explained this perfectly. I've been avoiding people when I'm out and about for years. I know for me it's so hard to figure out whether I truly don't want to interact with someone I run into, or if it's the anxiety. Thank you so much for making this video. Take care.
I can totally relate, I've experienced similar scenarios. Even if I didn't have social anxiety, I would still not be interested in interaction as much as a normal person, which I think of as introversion.
when im around people they remind me just how much of an inadequate nervous wreck i really am so i just hide away but yea most of the time i lack the desire to socialize anyway
Social anxiety is inherently narcissistic. It stems from the idea that everyone in a particular social situation is looking at and judging you. That might even be more comfortable than the truth - that the vast majority of people in any social situation are far too self-involved, or interested in the person they're with, to give a toss about you or what you're doing. For someone extremely lonely, this narcissistic social anxiety might be preferable to the reality of alienation.
I totally relate to this. It's one of my biggest fears when I'm out...seeing someone I know, especially someone from my past. I'll definitely avoid them if they don't see me. I just have the strong feeling of not wanting to deal that interaction and whatever the result of it would be.
I know what you mean lena. I had a similar situation a while back but I know I shouldn't avoid it cause of negative reinforcement just makes it harder for me
Sounds like avoidant personality disorder. Its hard to explain, I want to be able to talk to random people but I also don't want to! Cognitive dissonance ahhh!!
lack of desire to interact, that is exactly how i feel when bumping into old friends it's like what's the point they were not interested what seems like a lifetime and yet they expect you to tell them every little detail about what has been going on with you life up to that point, this behavior is not normal but Lena it is normal for people like us who suffer from this crushing self destroying anxiety, i have been through this many times and it not get any easier if anything anxiety gets worse
I'v learned through doing some research, is figuring out how to tell youself how being in those situations will be more fulling then staying at home. because the reason you want to be alone is the result of your minds defence. you naturaly avoid those seemingly threatening situations. meaning that the key is looking at the positives of that situation. that looking at the negatives of being alone.
I'v learned through doing some research, is figuring out how to tell youself how being in those situations will be more fulling then staying at home. because the reason you want to be alone is the result of your minds defence. you naturaly avoid those seemingly threatening situations. meaning that the key is looking at the positives of that situation. that looking at the negatives of being alone.
I know what you mean. I have a close friend who moved away when I was younger. About two years ago he contacted me and one day he came over to my house. though I am really happy to see him, I just can't seem to show it. subcontiously I seem to not want him over.
I have avoided friends from my prior profession. Even though we were good friends, In my subconscious I associate them with my past, and memories of the past, I want to forget. I see them as as "triggers", for post traumatic stress syndrome.
I actually went through something similar today. I was at the store and there was a lady giving free samples of some cheese or something. I noticed that she was being very persistent on attracting as many people that walked past her as possible. Being the shy person I am, I too, walk the other way. I didn't have anything against that lady, i'm sure she was a very nice lady. But for some reason i didn't want face a conversation. Which sucks, that cheese looked yummy :( lol So yes, i can relate.
I also have had old high school friends who have tried to keep in touch with me, but I've never really had any motivation or any aptitude to even try.I suppose I don't like living in the past, but strangely, I do a lot of reflecting.Perhaps we avoid meeting an old friend because we feel like we have to maintain a certain disposition with that individual all the time.Also, we tend to become friends that are close to our environments (college, work, etc.).You're great at articulating this subject!
@shadowsonthehills Furthermore, I sometimes find it easier to approach an old friend that I run into if they're by themselves and not with someone else. I guess it's easier for me to talk to them one on one, I'm not sure.
I know exactly what you're talking about and can definitely relate to your story, lots of times I feel an almost gut urge to avoid even people who I had been comfortable around recently before. The only thing I can personally think to attribute this to is irrational anxiety. I often also feel relief if I had successfully avoided someone. I understand how you feel about wanting to be unnoticed, I can go days without significant interaction with people and not really miss it at all.
Oh yes this has happened to me a few times as well,its not that i do not want to interact with the person i have not seen for a long time,its because its unexpected and i have not prepared for that scenario.
I am like you. It's actually one of my biggest fears to come across someone that I used to know. If it happened to me, I would definitely move as far away from them as possible. I don't want them to ask about me, about my life. I also know that they will want to be in contact with me again and I don't want that. I try to avoid this situation so much that if I have to go shopping, I shop in a far away city to lower my chances of bumping into them. I also like peanut butter. Good video =)
I too avoid people I see in public if I'm not prepared to or expecting too. I feel that my interactions with people always need to be interesting and witty. So, I worry that others will find me boring, if I'm not prepared. I think however, that it's totally ok to be unsociable, if you are ok with it. It really only is a problem, if you torture yourself over it, or judge yourself harshly because you're not meeting some imaginary standard for what you 'should' be like or how you should behave.
amaday 2 weeks ago
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laurixtumix 3 weeks ago
Not just Social Anxiety people. Other Anxiety Disorders too. I am PTSD/Disthymia/Gen Anx and I have done this same thing you talk about so so many times. It has gotten easier to combat over the years but I still have that "undesire" to see the person or people in a situation as you described.
publicpoet 3 weeks ago
It's the same with me when I see ppl i know in stores and it happens to me all the time coz I live in small city and have lived here for 30 yrs so I recognize alot of faces it seems every time I go out i'll see some one I know and for past 11 yrs i've rarely gone out in public so now when I do coz i've been tryin to go out alot I always see ppl I knew 10 yrs ago and it's really awkward coz i've been doing badly for past decade and don't know what to say for myself.
ChrissyQ33 4 weeks ago
damn it!!! now you've made me want peanut butter and I don't have any left in the house :(
and yeah I totally understand what you mean about bumping into people when you're out and about... I get that too... I do that all the time :D
vanitalo411 1 month ago
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Jesus can sent you free. he is the only hope to man kind, Jesus said come to me and I will give u a new life! ask Jesus to come to your heart,that Jesus died in the cross so everybody that accept him will have peace and eternal life.
filipemirandamartins 1 month ago
i do that all the time... did that today actually.
sparkss4 1 month ago
Comment removed
WillowKat100 1 month ago
Even though sometimes is hard to decide if it's the disorder or our own personality who talks, or reacts in situations like these i really think it's the disorder, i have pass through similar situations and it just doesn't make sense, why am i trying to avoid to greet a nice person i know? But it happens and sometimes we look like if we were arrogant by mistake. Take Care :-)
BarelyNoticeable 1 month ago
very true in my case as well; i avoid any type of social situations. Sometime i seem like a jerk and i end up pushing people away even more. At this point, honesty, im so tired of trying; i think im just accepting the fact that i will be like this for the rest of my life.
blackwolfsquadron 1 month ago
Lena, you explained this perfectly. I've been avoiding people when I'm out and about for years. I know for me it's so hard to figure out whether I truly don't want to interact with someone I run into, or if it's the anxiety. Thank you so much for making this video. Take care.
laurelisavantgarde 1 month ago
I can totally relate, I've experienced similar scenarios. Even if I didn't have social anxiety, I would still not be interested in interaction as much as a normal person, which I think of as introversion.
MEvsFEAR 1 month ago
when i am at home i feel empty but safe
when im around people they remind me just how much of an inadequate nervous wreck i really am so i just hide away but yea most of the time i lack the desire to socialize anyway
lockstockdub 1 month ago 4
Social anxiety is inherently narcissistic. It stems from the idea that everyone in a particular social situation is looking at and judging you. That might even be more comfortable than the truth - that the vast majority of people in any social situation are far too self-involved, or interested in the person they're with, to give a toss about you or what you're doing. For someone extremely lonely, this narcissistic social anxiety might be preferable to the reality of alienation.
thisaccursedman 1 month ago
I totally relate to this. It's one of my biggest fears when I'm out...seeing someone I know, especially someone from my past. I'll definitely avoid them if they don't see me. I just have the strong feeling of not wanting to deal that interaction and whatever the result of it would be.
Dis1nt3grate 1 month ago
CAn u please watch my video called Bipolar and Family, and tell me what you think
Bestrong4 1 month ago
I know what you mean lena. I had a similar situation a while back but I know I shouldn't avoid it cause of negative reinforcement just makes it harder for me
scottishguy100 1 month ago
Happens to me a lot.
masotaum 1 month ago
Sounds like avoidant personality disorder. Its hard to explain, I want to be able to talk to random people but I also don't want to! Cognitive dissonance ahhh!!
Grimblex0728 1 month ago
lack of desire to interact, that is exactly how i feel when bumping into old friends it's like what's the point they were not interested what seems like a lifetime and yet they expect you to tell them every little detail about what has been going on with you life up to that point, this behavior is not normal but Lena it is normal for people like us who suffer from this crushing self destroying anxiety, i have been through this many times and it not get any easier if anything anxiety gets worse
WayneInPain 1 month ago
I'v learned through doing some research, is figuring out how to tell youself how being in those situations will be more fulling then staying at home. because the reason you want to be alone is the result of your minds defence. you naturaly avoid those seemingly threatening situations. meaning that the key is looking at the positives of that situation. that looking at the negatives of being alone.
lilrat489 1 month ago
I'v learned through doing some research, is figuring out how to tell youself how being in those situations will be more fulling then staying at home. because the reason you want to be alone is the result of your minds defence. you naturaly avoid those seemingly threatening situations. meaning that the key is looking at the positives of that situation. that looking at the negatives of being alone.
lilrat489 1 month ago
I know what you mean. I have a close friend who moved away when I was younger. About two years ago he contacted me and one day he came over to my house. though I am really happy to see him, I just can't seem to show it. subcontiously I seem to not want him over.
lilrat489 1 month ago
good vid.
th3inquisitiv31 1 month ago
I have avoided friends from my prior profession. Even though we were good friends, In my subconscious I associate them with my past, and memories of the past, I want to forget. I see them as as "triggers", for post traumatic stress syndrome.
nabbbbbby 1 month ago
I actually went through something similar today. I was at the store and there was a lady giving free samples of some cheese or something. I noticed that she was being very persistent on attracting as many people that walked past her as possible. Being the shy person I am, I too, walk the other way. I didn't have anything against that lady, i'm sure she was a very nice lady. But for some reason i didn't want face a conversation. Which sucks, that cheese looked yummy :( lol So yes, i can relate.
juliangonzalezx 1 month ago
I also have had old high school friends who have tried to keep in touch with me, but I've never really had any motivation or any aptitude to even try.I suppose I don't like living in the past, but strangely, I do a lot of reflecting.Perhaps we avoid meeting an old friend because we feel like we have to maintain a certain disposition with that individual all the time.Also, we tend to become friends that are close to our environments (college, work, etc.).You're great at articulating this subject!
shadowsonthehills 1 month ago
@shadowsonthehills Furthermore, I sometimes find it easier to approach an old friend that I run into if they're by themselves and not with someone else. I guess it's easier for me to talk to them one on one, I'm not sure.
shadowsonthehills 1 month ago
I blame the subconscious mind for those automatic negative actions. But yeah, I have avoidant personalitydisorder too.
Candeeta4u 1 month ago
I know exactly what you're talking about and can definitely relate to your story, lots of times I feel an almost gut urge to avoid even people who I had been comfortable around recently before. The only thing I can personally think to attribute this to is irrational anxiety. I often also feel relief if I had successfully avoided someone. I understand how you feel about wanting to be unnoticed, I can go days without significant interaction with people and not really miss it at all.
longlivethekingisded 1 month ago
Oh yes this has happened to me a few times as well,its not that i do not want to interact with the person i have not seen for a long time,its because its unexpected and i have not prepared for that scenario.
Shane2day 1 month ago
I am like you. It's actually one of my biggest fears to come across someone that I used to know. If it happened to me, I would definitely move as far away from them as possible. I don't want them to ask about me, about my life. I also know that they will want to be in contact with me again and I don't want that. I try to avoid this situation so much that if I have to go shopping, I shop in a far away city to lower my chances of bumping into them. I also like peanut butter. Good video =)
WildSeven0079 1 month ago
Hey, that's me...avoidant personality
bipolarZombie 1 month ago