Wasn't No Lettuce Cut

[SingingIsMySoul]

u should become an actor u too funny

[AntariRoyale]

And YOU... CANT CUT NO GODDAMN LETTUCE!!!

[thhun281]

OK durand now I get it lol it is hilarious Bwahahahahaa

[Anivre22]

And now you are on tour with Miss Badu! God is GOOD!

[angstyDarko]

wasn't no lettuce cut

[jamrockshamrock]

Is I've got rhythm a full song if it is I would love to hear you sing it please do lol

[AngelicTrinity]

I can't stop watching this.... I'm sorry that your job was terminated in this fashion... but this video in awesome.... I already have about 5 quotes I'll start using...

[jessyeffbaby]

i just watched this mad times haha straight up #jokes got my over her cryin from laughinn hard!

[bryonna325]

IDK how many times i have watched this video! LOL! IDK...Everybody likes the part where he says " and you can't cut no got damn lettuce", but it's the lead up to that that makes it funny. LOL! When he says " And my mother is sick as shit", is the funniest part that makes that following line funny. LOL! I'm in love. Favorite button here i come!

[biggied2008]

I Thought About This Today And Realized That It Still Cracks Me Up ... " Cuz you can't CUT NO GOTDAMN LETTUCE !!! "

[toda9008]

"AND YOU CANT CUT NO GODDAMNED LETTECE" LMBO

[lakeicha]

lmao!!! This video kills me everytime

[jellybeanmead]

wow. i needed this laugh. 

[kamilahmull]

this was by far your funniest video lol

[MY3BADBOYZ]

Too darn funny

[Pookapureandsimple]

That....was hysterical!!!

[ceciliaboo]

Lmfao this never gets old

[19jerzgirl]

Funny as hell , loved it

[shawnmcgraw]

bitch you are so funny I love this video the funniest part is when you take that deep ass breath

[ria0305]

1:53 through 1:58 is classic, LMAO

[sheekx32006]

hey u said my name! wat was that for lol?

[sheekx32006]

heyu said my name! wat was that for lol?

[misskane281]

CAUSE YOU AINT CUT NO GOTDAMN LETTUCE

[coolest07noevac]

So you can hit notes in your top register that only dolphins can hear but you can't cut not lettuce.

So you can be the vessle for Jazmine Sullivan's spirit and straight assassinate all her songs but you can't cut no lettuce.

So you can beast on that rendition of "Everything I have is yours" and almost make me wanna slap somebody (your boss) but you can't cut no lettuce.



[LadieOreo]

"even House Party cast wouldnt even pick me up b/c  I was so outdated"lmaoooo

[MsNUtsey]

Ummmm yeah, she's not putting you on the schedule because God told her you should be somewhere else on stage singin instead of avoiding the lettuce. Why you hatin on her tryin to get her blessin by puttin yo talented ass out of a greasy ass fast food place? Yeah, that's my two cents, bam!! and stop hatin on old folks, we liked Klymaxx and Cameo (word up), groups like that so some of us have jeri curls; we don't know better just love us.Don't hate commensurate.

[MrMbell2]

@MsNUtsey His boss is an asshole, thats what he trying to say.

[Peazy1085]

u been working there for sum years right

[richeau]

This bitch clearly has issues and needs to go lay down on someone's couch. There are some supervisors where you can do EVERYTHING AND THEN MORE and they are still on some psychotic shit and it truly has nothing to do with you. I've been there quite a few times. Oh gee what happened to them? One got fired and is a lonely bastard somewhere in NC cause no one likes him, and the other tried to get slick and got fired and sued by the company. What goes around comes around.

[renarena2007]

She was acting like this job was some audition "I'll se if I have an opening." Success is heading your way and she wanted to be petty and get mad about a mistake. There are more problems in the world than no lettuce cut.

[MZHIGHDEFINITION]

R u serious?? Jus cuz u didnt cut lettuce????

[MiaMorning]

You's a fool!!! LOL!

[UrbanDoll330]

lmao...

[markhoward91]

OMG so good

[7Nubi]

This is by far one of my favorite videos.

[DomoEnt]

This is hilarious and i like how u threw nikki in there!

[bonnaboo07]

Lmbo. You started weezing. Lmbo!!

[1dayUWillGetItRite]

Hey I can't blame your supervisor. I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years because there wasn't no lettuce cut. How am I gonna eat dinner without my cut lettuce? lol love you Durrand

[7Nubi]

LMAO, damn, damn, damn. The actual response was priceless.

[drenash724]

This litte faggat dont know how to cut lettuce, only thing he know how to cut is his asshole open so he can take up the ass, No talent bitch, and why you make movie in your closet we know you a flamming cock sucker, Fudge packing, cum catching, sexaul homo.

[sparkalott1]

Ok.... so this was funny as shit but on a real note, you did not answer the question.

It's easy to daunt on your supervisor's faults, but she is the supervisor, and if it was your job to cut the lettuce, you should have cut the "God Damn" lettuce...LOL! As long as you are doing your job 100%, you will stand out from the 50% workers. Tackle every job like it is your music and nothing but positive will come from it.

[alcoholharmony]

@sparkalott1 this is the thing. I do what I'm supposed to do, but she's good for making people out to be liars.

[sparkalott1]

@alcoholharmony understood, then you did the right thing by quitting. Hope your next position yields a more competent supervisor.....that one sounds like a mess!

[renarena2007]

@alcoholharmony I have dealt with the same type of GMs that don't s***. Not even someting so small as to say "Hey, great job today." Or "I appreciate you for coming to work all the time and being responsible." She found one fault in you and ran with it. I tell em nobody's perfect and "I am not Superwoman, cause if I were, I wouldn't be working here."

[nawmmbr]

@sparkalott1 - That question was not relevant, as that job was not Durand's destiny or destination, but a small steppin' stone on the journey. Her issues were enough that he decided not to work there anymore. Most of us spend more time at work than at home, therefor, we really need to be happy where we work. But this chick brought all that personal stuff to work. UNPROFESSIONAL! He had a choice and made it with clear conscience. I know my opinion wasn't requested, but I said it anyway!

[aidolfan4lyph]

Why you didnt cut the lettuce???

[ccbjigga]

"AND ALL OF THAT IS GOING ON AND YOU CANT CUT NO GOD DAMN LETTUCE!!!!" --Durand your a hot mess!!!

[AngelCNC]

You can sit up and make a whole album on garage band and YOU CAN'T CUT NO LETTUCE??!!!

[gemini24590]

2:37 - 2:40 #DEAD!

[purplesilverplatinum]

Tell me why I laugh like I've seen it the 1st time every time??!! lol

[XxGermzxX]

LMAO, love this vid!

[nayshagurl09]

SO STUPID!

[djseandoe]

her life isnt important so she hasta do drastic things at the J.O.B. ( just over broke ) to make her feel like a man .... I mean ..... like she is on top .... I mean .... important ! No worries , change is best ...... let her bother about who cut lettuce until she retires into a wrinkled up old cat lady.

[kajuana1]

ha ha cut it up

[rick0757]

LMMFAO @ 1:55

[Tyboogie]

LMAO too funny, your boss is a hater. You may not cut lettuce but you sure can sing!!!! The hell with the boss. lol

[perks15]

man this was toooo damn funnny!!!! "....my mothers sick as sh*t..but you can't cut NO DAMN LETTUCE" HAHAHAHA damn boy you are too funny

[jpie313]

Oh my im crying and my stomach hurts.....that was hilarious. nothing but death can keep you from it.... LMAO!!!!!

[NiniDread]

That's not 1992.... that's 1989. 

[mistronp]

OOOOOH SHEKINAH!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

[martaajoku1]

@mistronp that part had me laughing

really hard but i dont even know what it

means...do you?

[mistronp]

@martaajoku1 all i know is that it means Glory but it caught me off guard n i was WEAK!

[oneazariah]

Rand you NEED a talk show LOL

[SingingIsMySoul]

LOLOOLOLOLOLOLLOL O H MY GOODNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THAT WAS TOO FUNNY

[amber5etoy]

llllllllllllllllllllllllmmmmmm­mmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaooooooooo­ooooooo

[faisclan]

i just... this is more than i can bear...lol * u can cut all these damn youtube videos usin protools and editing software... findin and stealin old ass cartoons, but u cant cut no GOT DAYUM LETTUCE"... i just... u kno the rest.

[GangOfFriends]

@faisclan AHH YAHZ!

[LaytoyaJ]

Of the schedule cuz u aint cut no lettuce!!! That sucks...but this video is funny as hell tho....

[QweenKilla]

Durand you are a handsome man!

[telasoul]

Annihilated. My soul has liquidized and seeped thru my nose. HEE-LARIOUS

[HARLAB12]

 haaaaa LMBOO

[gOTyOaZZ]

lmao HILLARIOUS so why did i just make a whole stat about this lmao

not only can this fool sing he is a damn comedian....smh

[thickg12]

Your Boss Must Be Truly Jealous Of You If She's Complaininq About Some Damn Lettuce.Who Does She Think SHE IS? I Lauqhed This Whole Video "My Neck My Back" Hahaha

[MRZDICKIES305]

BOL

[JtheLioness]

I needed that laugh...that internal and actual reaction...LOL..."OK"....

[nawmmbr]

Where's the follow up!!!!!!!!!!???

[lovemelord100]

You are a fucking comedian and I love yo raggedy ass!!! I'm a fan for life baby!!!! Who give's a shit that you can't cut know lettuce!!! LMFAO

[Woo88]

LOL!!!!!! I just love you TOO much. You're a fool.

[2008capricorn]

I live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!! that shyt was so funny ... she threw the mixed tap thing in your face?!?!? OMG! I would have went off! ROTFLMAO!!!! this shyt was hellla one funny! I love when yu go off venting and shyt! It's soooo hilarious! Mwuah!

[nawmmbr]

Hey everyone! We love Durand, as much as you do! Would you PLEASE go the Steve Harvey and Michael Baisden pages on Facebook and post Durand's "Yes Jesus Loves Me", and Durand Bernarr's Vocal Range (D2-Bb6). These two videos demonstrate his ranges and samples of his albums. PLEASE?!? Durand doesn't know me, so he didn't ask me to do this, and I've NEVER DONE THIS FOR ANYONE, but when I see someone with talent, I'll do what I can to help them. Please and thank you! God Bless!

[bay202011]

That sucks!!!! I've experienced this b4!!!

[nawmmbr]

1:51 is on a loop! We play it over and over!

[hunneybuns09904]

im sorry but i keep watchin 1:50 to 2:00 and i rotflmao everytime....

[hunneybuns09904]

omg...durand you give me life...."my mother sick as shit and you aint got no lettuce cut"....oooo shekinah....oh lord...im dying

[brifar]

lol love the video and i use to love that cartoon when i was younger

[mysyslfni]

The a**hole who disliked can suck it!

[alcoholharmony]

@mysyslfni it was probably her. lol

[MissCleva09]

@alcoholharmony Lol im sure the people who disliked this video was you Supervisor and the GM . lol . they mad they lost they best worker lol .

[DayvonGrey]

@alcoholharmony probably was lol

[stlucia68]

Lawd have mercy.... Hilarious.  There's a song in there somewhere.

[supergringo86]

at least the car wasnt wrecked again

[nawmmbr]

....And all that is going on!!!!!!!!!! You can't cut no "cot-damn" Lettuce!!!! *DEAD* I hope she watched this so she can see how stupid she came across!

[MzMidnyte]

ROTFLMBO!! I have to share this on my FB!!

[vnllawytchkltblndie]

lol - you gave your own NOSE a youtube account, AND YOU CAN'T CUT NO DAMN LETTUCE?

[mstmartin05]

i loved this so much i had to watch it again!!

[mstmartin05]

oh yeah, that was funny as hell!!! It made my night too chiL!!!!!

[Oroshalo26]

Come on now.....u cant cut no what? omgness your so freakin funny...love u

[DjGee2010]

this shit is funny Lmfao!

[chilLdude00]

Lmao wow.....that really made my night, you are something else

[lyricalwiz81]

rofl now i dont feel left out , rofl @so outdated even house party wouldnt cast me , oh man ...u cant cut no lettuce , "oh my lawd"-(clumps voice)

[nolawtf]

Boy, you are a straight up fool! You had me dying laughing over here...my puppies jumped up from their naps, started howling and looking at me like I'd lost my mind! That was too funny. And I've most certainly been there with a crazy manager before. I said 'You know what? I don't even need this job or your shit.' Basically, f--- 'em.

[sirbab2001]

U really just tore u're manager up! I love this!..... I can literally see SO MUCH of myself in this video! priceless!

[ekadeep88]

lololol lmaognrof -translation- laugh my ass off gotta nigga rollin onna floor!!!!!!!! did u say shekainah

[Pisoxl]

Damn I loved this Shekainah

LOL really loved this :)

[MeeHollywood89]

i use to love that cartoon at the end lmao o wow

[shaulanda]

lmbooooo .!!! this had me rolling bcuz my mom was just yelling at me about not making the salad for dinner wen i first seen this .!! lolzz

p.s. posting this on Facebook (:

[kherring51276]

lmao

[ladyslove89]

dead to the shakianah!

[boricuas4669]

Funnyyyy !

[natashaYM]

well y the hell aint u cut the fuqin lettuce.....damn you!!!

[Augustjewell]

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[dontyoudar]

0:25 don't make no DAMN SENSE!

[TaneshaCorley]

Hold up...Hold up... You came to DC and you didn't let ppl know.... You have ppl here who love you....Don't come back without letting us know first...*Out Cold* off this video!!!

[Jenkins0807]

This it too much! Im rolling over here!

[IridescentVelocity]

will your name change from lettuce?

[KT313]

omg lmao... FUNNY!!!

[shadsbabygirl]

haha why do u need lettuce cut at a pizza place?? lol

[poeticsoul215]

I can come on here and watch you videos and leave comments, and you can't cut no lettuce???? Whassup with that????? LOL!!!!!!!

[OMGsooDaNii]

i watched 1:33-2:01 4 times before i let the rest play lmao you are a mess !!

[gsamiee]

@OMGsooDaNii me too, lmao!

[dontyoudar]

i've watched this like 7 times already.

[nubianbigoddess]

@3:32-3:43 #DEATH you just slayed my life lmao

[nawmmbr]

I just posted this on my facebook page, and I posted this on Steve Harvey's FB page!

[nawmmbr]

Okay, I'm watching it again. I know how you made this without laughing, because as I told you before, you have NO CLUE, AND ARE COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS as to how funny you are! And the random stuff you threw into this is straight up funny! But for real, I'm not watching this anymore, because after my daughter and I watching this about 30 times, it can't be funny anymore!

[nawmmbr]

Durand, I'm sorry, I can't watch this video anymore, I have gone to bed, and woke up with a headache, and no voice from laughing! The best I can do is pass this along to others and let them watch, and tell them to forward this along. HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU MAKE THIS VIDEO AND NOT LAUGH!

[RantingRene411]

This is my third (okay sixth) time watching this... "Victim of systematic treachery!" *dead* LMMFAO

[crownr0yalonice]

i. don't. have. time.

[MatthewRischer]

oh oh! oh i cant!...lol can i use this on my father...cause he been trying to cut lettuce for 30+plus years. and i think its time he knows...lol

[Cori175]

THIS WAS FUNNY AS HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DURAND...LOVE U

[renae567]

I. Love. You. #thatisall

[williamschool]

wow really though she did that i dont know what kinda manager she was. but if they had a problem she should of gave you a warning not do that. but thats wild though

[butterflylo1998]

u had a whole row of aggies lookin at me like i was crazy when i bust out laughin from this!!!!!

[Recy18]

lmao oh my these managers are on another level lately. my friend was told that shes off the schedule this week too vuz she went home early on sunday lol and let me remind you that she worked from 12pm to12am on sat then they had her schedule 7am the fallowing day! seriously? thats fucked up. i would have went home too! they done lost they minds

[jocelynatlanta]

LMBO!

[Songdreamer]

you are FLIPPING hilarious!!!

[vwj123]

I had to listen to the 40+ and already pressed!! Soooo funny!

[onli1luv]

LOL :)

[utubegurl1]

is that a tattoo on your left wrist!!!???

[tinkiedavampire]

AINT NO LETTUCE CUT lol OMG IM GOING TO BED ON THAT ONE HONEY THATS JUST AS BAD AS ME GETTING WROTE UP FOR WALKING TO SLOW WHEN I HAD WENT INTO WORK @ 5:00pm AND DIDN'T GET A BREAK TIL 2:30am AND IM SUPPOSE TO BE ALL PEPPY IHOP WAS TRIPPING

[shyshyncris07]

LMMFAOOOOOO!!!!!!

[nakeist]

Smh, lettuce pray for that bitter manager! You know you will be alright Durand:)

[nawmmbr]

If my boss f on me JUST LIKE THAT @ 1:50, they would have had to call a paramedic, cause they almost had to call on for me last night and tonight after watching your rendition! I would have fell onto the floor and laughed uncontrollably. She would have fired me, on the spot.

[richeau]

lawdyyyyyyyy you got me CRYING!!!!!!!!!!! lmao that chick needs a life, licking sticking or SOMETHING. shove the lettuce down her damned throat!

[luvaboy8020]

1:54-2:01 Done, through and over with.

[NiggaT5858]

u r a mess!! lol i love it

[mysyslfni]

1:54 and 3:00 I laughed so loud that I cried.

[NellySource]

I lost it @ 1:54 --- "You can't cut no god damn lettuce (oh my, ooh, shekinah)

[JonathanGardnerTV]

"Shekinah"

*Dead*

[JtheLioness]

@JonathanGardnerTV That's what I thought he said....hahahaahahahahahahahah­ahahahah

[secrets524]

got Damn lol

[GabbyDontTouchThat]

2:38 LOLOLOLOL

[COURTCOBAlN]

LMAO! 1:32-1:58 IS FUNNY AS HELL.

[ColdCharge]

Shekinah..lol

[Abstraktshunz]

LOL please tell me she didn't say all of that lmao...

[SEXFROMHEAD2TOE]

the next time u come to D.C PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! MAKE A VIDEO AND TELL WHEN AND WHERE D.C LOVES ALCOHOLHARMONY UR VOICE IS AMAZINGLY TALENTED SOMETHING THAT PUTS A SMILE ON MY FACE DOES SOMETHIN TO THE SOUL HUNNY AND I WOULD LOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEE! 2 HEAR U IN PERSON THANKS BOO IN ADVANCE UR NUMBER 1 FAN HUNNY!

[kukuforcocoapuffs95]

i hope no future potential employers see this. but this is hilarious!!! hahaha

[KissedByNIsland]

lmfaoo omg u had to stop in the middle of the video cuz i was laughin to damn hard!! lmaoo boo did u walk out singing?? cuz i would have blew her fuckin mind!! lmaoo

[d0txk0m]

lmao woaah i remember that cartoon episode

[beautiful2mee17]

Awww man when were you in DC?

[jwhite8231]

@alcoholharmony just. went. INNNNN! iLive!

[grlblu73]

You're not supposed to cut lettuce any damn way - you gots to tear it! LOL

[calliehbk]

Lol boy you a fooooool

[bigoutrage1]

lol oh damn lol Funny!!!! great video!

[la9777]

Wow, your boss talks to you like that, you must be friends with them. Good luck on the CD.... lots of love, stay strong, although I know you will.

[o6libra20]

LMAO!

[navarronbret15]

I am kiki-ing on the OOP Shakinah?? LOL... and the I love to singa, i remember that.

[khamikins]

too good

[hoopdreams07]

bwahaha i just got off work this is deff appropriate! lol

[misterlawrence93]

oop shakinah *DEAD*

[misterlawrence93]

so i had to pause it at 1:48 & u had the funniest face lol