Dane Cook-Jesus Jokes

[Eli92010]

awwww good morning life is beautiful ... start your day the holy way with christ checks.

[cznmbgames]

Lmfao!!!

[MrShenhai]

He is so HILARIOUS!

[SalmonNinja1997]

LOL, I'm Christian, but.... "YUM YUMS! I MADE SNACKS!" xD

[Keyo3322]

Dane Cook for the win

[Gweirdaaron]

I'm hilarious and this is Catholic.

[MagicoDoFutebol]

Love stickfigures... who ever mocking my lord

[TheBrandenbigred1]

Star your day off the holy way!

[glaty1]

u do not let go

[TheBumblebeefy1]

I bet Christ checks would sell. I'd eat em.

[OldManYounger]

Love stickman, hate Dane.

[Johnnybadass123]

Haha im gunna be thinking of this when i go to church now!

[KassyRockz1013]

"Peace off!" XD

[urlovergyrl]

Wow someone really doesn't know how to spell

[ThisLightOfMine]

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and depart from evil.

-Proverbs3:5-7

[carlosmma316]

and the peacefull disciples said my peace i leave my peace i give to you.

as we eat resces peaces wit the lord

and he said i have a peace of lint in my peace full eyeeee

xD

[IrishColleen96]

I had a Jesut last Wednesday at school and I almost laughed out loud during mass I was thinking of this hahah

[H8meBreakme]

No, fuck that guy!

I said I'm good!

Peace off!!!

xD

Reese Peaces- lmao

GREATNESS!!!

[H8meBreakme]

No, fuck that guy!

I said I'm good!

Peace off!!!

xD

Reese Peaces- lmao

GREATNESS!!!

[cricketflowerwarrior]

XD I always thought the "snacks" tasted like a Holy Banana Chip...

[Tarralavigne]

I had a Jesut today with ma school! (:

[redskull662]

Let's have some yum yums

[sovjettank]

Haha, love the ending:

Guuud morning! Life is beutyful! =D

[Boyfrumpluto]

this video sucks so much cock. it ruins the laughter



[soxskinxdeep]

HOLY CHRIST CHEX.

I wonder why I always click on this video when I want to watch this. ;D

[MsGemini528]

I love the stick people!

[jakedrewandkyle]

start ur day the holy way with christ checks.aahhhhhhh

[ratz607]

your move holy man

[MrUndetered]

It's time for YUMYUMs!!, I made snacks!!

[3thxHokage]

this is from which performance again?

[xxAngelxxBladexxBoa]

I want some Chris Checks!

[BowDownMortals]

"I made snacks!" I want that as a ringtone. :|

[Animal00Kaiser]

lol, I'm not a christian so the part about moves was like what the hell to me

[dusty8809]

I'm a Christian but I LUV this video!! Me and my youth leaders joke about Christ checks all the time... Haha, and I hate waiting the crouton o Christ, it tastes gross!!! xP

[sydneyNmorgan97]

I took my friends phone and made "GOOD MORNING! TODAY IS BEUTIFUL! HEE HEE HEE!" her alarm for the morning

[KJT922010T]

lol I'm catholic and I never and still don't remember the moves and prayers. I just look at other people and copy them so I at least look like I know what I'm doing.

[spaz627]

@Flarenoxdude dont worry. if it is, we're going to see dane cook there too

[redcash123]

Omg this is funny, never knew Dane cook was this funny

Jesus got nothing on this video!

[XTREMEGAMERS58]

"Start your day off the holy way with Christ Checks."

[TrumpetAddict15]

@XTREMEGAMERS58

its a miracle in a bowl

[XxStardustStudiosxX]

LETS HAVE SOME YUM YUMS!!!!! xD

[ZaneyBear223]

@cosmiclucky no ur not, it wuz cute, i like beautiful! It wuz adorable too!

[Twixistix101]

start your day off the holy way with christ checks

[Blooo993]

the angel sounded like Pops! O o

[dwillkeithurban]

Lol, but I almost peed my pants, when he said "start your day out the holy way, with Christ checks." "Life is beautiful!" Hahaha

[dwillkeithurban]

Not as funny when you can't see it

[TheSummers19]

I've heard these jokes wayy to many times and I still laugh:D

[flakitugahbaybay]

this is brilliant!!

[lovemeordie83]

@Flarenoxdude God is good. He would want us to laugh and enjoy ourselves. (We're not blaspheming or anything...)

[id493337]

@lovemeordie83

Yes we are :-3 This video is blaspheming and watching it is, but it still kinda funny.

[lovemeordie83]

@id493337 We're not doing anything wrong :P We're just laughing at a funny man who says funny shit and it just happened to be set in a church.

Shit could've happened in a Walmart and it would still be hilarious.

[noobrifle111]

Can anybody tell me where to find these recordings alltogether? Like this one? the DMV one? Pillow fight...they are not on the CDs or the torrents...

[JUNEBUG754]

start ur day off the holy way with chirst checks!!

LMFAO

[gameystarfish]

this shit is really funny



[coolio5077]

Time for some YUM YUMS

[Pmike2345]

a jesut

[ngbball1]

Hahahahahha next time I'm with one of my friends I'm gonna Stan up and yell let's have some yum yumsssssssssss so I can get out the jesuts

[HORRIOR]

0:12 Lol Danes a woman XD

[xXxAlHalLoWxXx]

176 people didnt get good seats at mass...

[shroomhead29]

176 people didnt get a little angel after opening their christ chex

[tick727]

LMAO i used to be that guy lookin around for the people of the hands im not goin to shake



[ZekeandDukeSETSAIL]

"Let's have some yum yums!" LMAO! I can never go to church again with a straight face!

[pokecrazygal]

like the day afteri watched this ,i go to a catholic schoo,l so we went to church and had to keep my laughing in. especially when it was time for bread i kept thinking about yum yum's.

[Jensfanaticpanama]

@Flarenoxdude Well, he's not making fun of religion or God, he's pointing out things that actually happen at church, and how funny they are if you think about them. I think it's fine.

[cosmiclucky]

Am I the only one who found his 'Good Morning' kind of adorable? xD

[IStillWishUponAStar]

I thought it was pretty funny(:

[john17972]

He should have been a truck driver instead because he's stupid.

[Kaitlyn560]

Not funny at all

[samuelLjackson5]

ive alway respected and admied dane unil I found outhe was catholic :( mean, do thy even read bibles? and whats with worshiping those child molesters

[cutie3638]

@samuelLjackson5 if u took the time 2 educate yourself about Catholicism, u would know they don't "worship" priests. & it's wrong 2 call every priest a child molester because they're not. & seriously, u don't like him anymore because of his religion? I don't like Catholicism either but that doesn't determine whether or not I respect & admire a person. a person should gain/lose your respect thru their actions & words. i mean it's not like he's coming out here saying i'm Catholic so bump you...

[samuelLjackson5]

@cutie3638

I still love his stand up, tho I just cant respect anyone whos catholic. Its ignorant as fuck and yes every priest will be arrested for child molestation, every last one of them. some of them just aint been caught yet but they will be.

[cutie3638]

@samuelLjackson5 i still stand by what I said. you're just too blinded by hate. i pray that you will get over it one day and learn to tolerate and respect others beliefs.

[samuelLjackson5]

@cutie3638

i RESPECT EVERY OTHER RELIGION BUT CATHLOCISM, CUZ THEY TIME MY BIBLE AND JUSTSHIT ALL OVER IT. ALSO YOU GUYS FORBIDE PRIEST FROM HAVING SEX? CUZ OF THAT HOO BLAH, YEAH I SAID IT, BECAUSE OF ALL DAT HOOOOO BLAAAAAH ALL PRIEST WILL EVENTUALLY TURN INTO A CHESTER MOLESTER.

[SSDecontrol94]

@samuelLjackson5 dude chill, it's youtube

[cutie3638]

@samuelLjackson5 honestly dude just take a chill pill cuz now ur not makin any sense...

[samuelLjackson5]

@cutie3638

read the catholic bible with your mouth shut and your eyes open bruh bruh!

[cutie3638]

@samuelLjackson5 i have...protestant churches removed a few of the original books when they broke away from the catholic church...that's the only difference i know of...

[Ashbringer80]

Let's have some yum yums!! I made snacks!!

[cutie1360]

I swear those Christ cookies or cracker things are so nasty know baptist is different we do it like a few times but we always do it every easter sunday we split it then we eat it omg and the prune or grape or whatever juice didn't taste any better I remember going home when I was littler to go brush my teeth lol

[balletwb94]

lets have some yum yums!

( im tottaly saying this to my priest during the next comunion! XD)

[iamherearenti]

Lololololololololololololololo­lololololololol life is beautiiiful!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahaaaaha ya get me!!!!!!!!

[HannieJay]

The "Christ chex" made me piss my pants!!!

[ladybeatriz7]

your move holy man...choose wisely lol he sounds just like stewie

[HoopsAndDinoMan]

0:13 The person on the right looks like the Venus symbol.

[jailbait1005]

@HoopsAndDinoMan omg it does!!! lol

[awesomebullseye]

Lmfao

[softballchick918]

Your move holy man;) choose wiselyyy!

[softballchick918]

Good morning:)! Life is boootifuuull:)

[DarkKellyAngel]

start your day of the holly way with christ check, ITS A MIRICAL OF THE BOWL. (open the box its liek -aaaaaaa-) xD ROFL

[XXXkawaiiXXX3]

Lol, this is Soooo funny :)

And I'm even a catholic :]

And the little angel comes out and screams, "GOOD MORNING! LIFE IS BEE-UU-TY FUL!"

ROTFLOL!!!

[melodicSmiley]

Lol, this is hilarious if you're Catholic yourself.

[PandasGoRawrr113]

It's CHEX....Not CHECKS.....You know, Chex, like the cereal? Gosh -_-

[QueenV2012]

As we eat reeses pieces with the lord!!!

[mechanicalbull]

Start your day of the holy way with Christ Checks. Miracle in a bowl...lol

[gymnast3674448]

good morning....LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!(:

[gayco1]

wow way to spell MIRACLE wrong....

[ScottWaltA]

these are not Jesus jokes, these are jokes about religion

[FlatLand43]

Is this blasphemous? Am I evil for laughing at it? God gave us a sense of humor, right? We can use it within reason. This is a funny piece.

[dorigzz]

check the date on that lord XD

[grimgram123]

you mean a JEEZ-IT?

[dragon26463]

Haha every time I go to church I think of this and see that it's actually true

[michael69tucker1]

PEACE OFF! hahahaha

[MegaNinjaDonkey]

I have a piece of lint in my peaceful eyeee:)

[SimonsGal123]

lol its like lets say my grandpa died and i wake up pour a bowl of tht cerial and the angel cums out

GOOD MORNING....LIFE IS BEAUTIFULL!! :P :P :P

Me: NO IT IS F****N NOT!!!!!

Angel: :O

me: WAT!!!

Angel: O.o *goes back into box and closes box*

[vickyNmicky]

GOOD MORNING :))) !! LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL !! Laughed my ass off.

[lBoomerl]

Lords a little stale today...

[gamergirlz11]

XDXDXDXD christ checks

[lakaishoes17]

There are no moves, so I don't know what he was talking about there, but this video is antichrist so I don't think it's funny at all

[MadisonFillingerVEVO]

I showed this to a priest I know. He laughed until he was in tears xD

[Gamerdude23691]

@MadisonFillingerVEVO i think most priests would find this offensive lol

[jailbait1005]

i hope i dont go to hell for watching this...but its so FUNNY!!

[MrAJL500]

Christ Chex! XD

[duramax1023]

PEACE OFF!!

[MCbigass13]

I'm hungry for a Jesut

[MCbigass13]

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!

[XFlameX224]

I'm Catholic and I still find this funny! Everytime I'm about to get my croutons-o-christ I'm ready to start laughing xD

[PikachuMaiden]

@XFlameX224 haha yeah, i hoep this isn't offensive for me to watch this, but it's rather funny, you know?

[mayahaya333]

lol i love how he says "Your move holy man"

[ZombieKiller766]

thumbs up if you thought you were gonna have a heart attack from laughing so freakin hard. I still have tears in my eyes xD

[lightningcharizard]

you still suck

[lightningcharizard]

you suck f**k you man f**k you

[jordaniangamer]

Wow! Your stick figures are so awesome. Good job.

[bladezz175]

Your move holly man XD

[peacelovesketch]

Crouton-O-Christ! Jes-It! Christ Chex! Start your day the holy way

[foreverwithoutyou]

'No one knew the moves.'

I know the moves XD Only thing Theology ever taught me.

[sauphler]

170 people DID NOT have Christ Chex this morning.

[amysoccer14]

It's Christ CHEX, not checks or jacks. CHEX! Like chex cereal, gosh duh

[xxamadeus84xx]

Its funny but the animation isnt

[mw2ownsmysocks]

I laughed my ass off when I saw this. I am going to show this to my catholic friends

[yadig7662]

I ments chex

[yadig7662]

Start your day the holy way with Christ jacks hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

[WestSideBxtch]

Snack time!!!! I made snacks! Lmao

[XxKrzyInLuv1218xX]

That was the best

Little angel comes outta the box good morning LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL ! Bahabha

[Thegrimreaper8888]

Lets have some yum yums, i made snacks! ;) holy shit funniest crap EVER!!!

[NickiMinajFan888]

while we eat reeces pieces with the lord lmfao

[mutagh74]

ha! im an atheist and i find this funny as shittttt

[MegaAnimeFreak01]

i will forever like this!!!!! X3  <33333

[spinemelter2000]

I get nervous about the violently ill people at church. If you're sick, you're supposed to do the "no thanks" wave with your hand while keeping your arms at your side.

[Harajesejarah]

the pictures actually made this funnier ;p

[RenesmeeCarlie72]

This was done really good. I give two thumbs upp(:

[Kuroineko16]

I love when he says "ahhh.... Your move holy man! Choose wisely -w-" it was hilarious xD

[bradmanduck]

@Tonymlg91 u are so damn right thumbs up on his comment

[stuntman85001]

lord a little stale today... check the date on that lord

[stuntman85001]

or or if really really tired "ahhhhh"

[tonymlg91]

yet again i come to a video and just about every comment is fucking everyone re writting the stupid dialog as their comment like we didnt all just watch the fucking video

[kidkong584]

BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA snack time "I MADE SNACKKKSSSS!"

[Blox5320]

If they ever made a Christ Chex, i would run to the store, grab it and open it up and listen to the AAAAAAAAAA of that holy choir and watch the Angel fly out and say "GOOD MORNING! LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!". All the while that is happening i would have an Awesome Face slapped on my face. ^^

[yumyumluckycharms]

Look at my user name :D it has "yumyum" LOL

[HawkrockTj]

LOL!

Then the angel comes out GOOD MORNING! LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL! ;D

[Th3Ma5t3r0wnzU]

Whats the prize inside the box? an angel that says GOOD MORNING! LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL! then you look inside the box and you see that its all empty and like youd be like I PAID 10 BUCKS FOR THIS?!??!? and then the "prize" would say "I got hungry....."

[RainbowMcFuzzy]

Lol Christ Chex! xD

[TheEZwayout]

I have a piece of lint in my peaceful eyeee..! xD

[SHAD0WZOMBIE]

Christ Crispies

[Turbo9987]

Your move, holy man! LOL XD

[Turbo9987]

PEACE OFF!!

[Yori38]

HAHAHA! So true...when I was little, every Sunday...

[BiiGMiKE93]

nah fuck that quyxD

[zeno711]

wheres that from? your move holy man. wats it from?

[Darkninja314]

I will make Christ checs

[StarShineGirl13]

Lmfao the angel!!!

GOOD MORNING!!! LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!!

[hornerchick]

PEACE OFF!!!

[abood47111]

3.49 . doesnt he sound like stewie griffin?

[db10001110101]

Dane Cook is a retard

[xXxdeathadderxXx]

@db10001110101 fuck off hes hilarous

[db10001110101]

@xXxdeathadderxXx Hes hilarous? What the fuck does that mean? Dane Cook is a retard and so are you.

[Digitaldoom2201]

Good morning!

It's a buuu tttiiii fffuuuulll day!

Lol

[55555notredame]

Let's have some yum yums I made snacks

[Inukumaru]

@55555notredame XD

[bayday5]

tomorrow I'm buyin some Jesuts

[KittieKatGrl]

I wish I could see the real version... =(

[TheTayCow]

lol a Jeezit

[TheSpeechlessGirl]

It probably would have been funnier if we could've seen what he was actually doing...

[ewew2108ewew]

good morning! life it beautiful!!

[BeeBwakka]

As soon as I heard the priest peacing I had to hold back laughter so hard.

[Zivs1]

meh, fuck that guy xD

[giztips744]

crouton-o-christ =]

[ntngirl95]

i love dane cook XD

[Au2DaStin]

poor art work