Added: 5 years ago
From: michtyme3
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  • You know you're getting old when you can appriate a good bit of sex and violence :)

  • Even Robin Hood isn't long enough ago to have had a Myspace.

  • I wasn't keen on torchwood first time round but I rented the dvds after catching he first episode of the (rather good) miracle day series.

    Now I f**king love it!

  • New Torchwood is actually good though.

  • Yup I am amazed at the level of stupidity that some people exhibit. I am so tired of people forcing people to listen to their opinions and then calling them names when they disagree with them. I happen to like Torchwood and I am sorry if people are not smart enough to get Torchwood and other shows like it.

  • Comment removed

  • @TheWeepingCorpse Please stop. You make those of us who like Torchwood cringe. You don't actually have to agree with Charlie to like him or even see that he has a point.

  • Your so stupid but unfortunately your allowed your opinions

  • @captstadia

    The irony here is that it's "you're". As in "You're so stupid for using 'your so stupid' to insult someone's intelligence."

  • @captstadia you tell 'em captstadia. If there is anyone in the internet who can bring intelligence to the vast wasteland of youtube comments it's you. I wish I was as brave as you, leading internet crusades, risking my name everyday.

  • Grand-Theft F***in Sherwood.

  • Hey - Robin Hood was awesome!

  • There needs to be a "Grand Theft Sherwood" game made o:

  • @MothsToLight  See Also: The Elder Scrolls Series

  • @AceJoin I never saw them that way... Skyrim's going to be so much more epic. But with dragons.

  • I like commenting on youtube video's......

  • Captain Jack qualifies as a youngster? I guess he's pretty spry for a guy over 100.

  • Once upon a time, dire shows like Torchwood would never have been broadcast. But in our new, trashy, low-quality, dumbed-down age, this crap gets shown on primetime tv

  • Torchwood was like a live-action version of Scooby Doo? I'm afraid it wasn't that good. Torchwood was a very confused show, as Charlie Brooker pointed out. The BBC is so full of talentless, middle-aged, middle-class nobodies who are so desperate to win over teenagers that they dumbed down Torchwood and Robin Hood, turning them into embarrassingly poor kids' shows

  • @DavyTom71 Was? I agree with you but people seem to be overlooking the fact that it listened to its criticism, pulled its socks up, and is still running.

  • @David8693 I have a hard time believing that.

  • @Kainlarsen Believing what, sorry? There's a new series, "Miracle Day", currently being made, Series 2 was a big improvement over Series 1 and "Children of Earth" was critically lauded and got strong viewing figures.

  • @0:15 lol

  • but, teenagers love visceral unpleasantness and steamy, anything goes shaggery. come on, be fair

  • Grand Theft Sherwood...that sounds interesting, actually. :-)

  • @VulpisFoxfire isnt that essentially what assassins creed is?

  • Torchwood is a bit of a joke, especially compared to Doctor Who, but strangely I still enjoy it. :P

  • Grand Theft Sherwood. Dear God I hope they make it.

  • id still do captain jack lol

  • grand theft fucking sherwoood. haha the man is a legend

  • torchwood isn't even in the same league as doctor who.

  • I agree! It's like it's trying so hard to separate itself from Doctor Who, but the end result just absurd and ridiculous.

  • Jeez I didn't realise it had that shagging going on. I should go back and watch it properly then? I only saw one episode....

  • Oh there is A LOT!

    It can be a bit look-at-us-we're-all-grown-up-­not-like-Dr-Who but it is a good show.

  • a few of the eps of the 2nd series of Torchwood were pretty good.

  • well you might think it's crap, but it's a hell of a lot better than most of the other shit that's on TV now. True Blood, Vampire Diaries? Is that any better than Aliens? At least Torchwood is interesting, and has a decent plotline. And it's a spin off of one of the most popular TV shows ever. And it's got pretty damn good ratings.

  • Vampire diaries is good grrr... =P

    Anyway I do agree with what he's saying but I still think Torchwood is good... I miss the good ol' days of torchwood...

  • I like Vampire Diaries, I'm just saying Torchwood's better, in that, it's far more original than the Vampire ones....

  • I hate how the BBC gives a big push in advertising and scheduling to shit like Torchwood while they put quality shows like the Wire at 1 in the morning without any advertising whats so ever. Also like to add that Torchwood is the type of sci fi show that keeps science fiction from being taken seriously .

  • Torchwood isn't science fiction. It's Queer As Folk set in Cardiff, with aliens.

  • @himagainstill

    Sir, I need a picture of you on my wall. :)

  • @himagainstill ahahhaha :D

  • @almanacofsleep Thing is, Why would the beeb advertise the Wire when its 1. An old series and 2. You can buy them already on DVD.

    To be perfectly honest, what advertising is there? I dont recall ever seeing much Torchwood advertising

  • Well Torchwood did come off the back of the mega hit Doctor Who and was advertised at least more than the Wire.

  • Torchwood, was dire in its first 2 series, series 3 started off promisingly, but degraded into a direct 24 rip-off including silly over the top government conspiracy, ending in loads of lazy loose ends, f'ing the aliens off in 2 minutes, and stupid solutions that are supposed to be heart breaking. in short - first 4 eps where goodish, the final one just fizzled the whole thing out.

  • I love Charlie but I don't think he'd say the same thing about Torchwood after Series 2 and 3, after all that first BBC3 one was just the show finding it's feet.

  • "yeah i can, it was Remembrance Sunday and i was supposed to be helping my mum and... oh, er forget that"

  • "What's this... grand theft sherwood?"

    Charlie Brooker is simply a genius ^_^

  • Omg i love this guy hes soo fuckin funny xx

  • "....they might as well place an inflatable dick on it and be done with it....."

    Comedy genius!!! LOL!!!

  • "It's kind of like watching an episode of Chucklevision with fighting and cum-shots."

    Best. Line. Ever.

  • And not unlike the original Chucklevision.

    "To me. UGGH!"

    "To you. UGGH!"

  • Just when I thought it wasn't possible to love this man anymore than I already do.

  • I've heard about Torchwood i've never watched even a bit of one - after seeing the amusing spurt of blood combined with the womans false loud screams after being kilroyed, Ive decided that I must watch this programme....for no more than 10 minutes.

  • i agree with everything you've just said erzing

    if you want an example of what is good tv for adults: - LIfe on Mars

    Torchwood couldn't hold a candle to a quality well written show like that

  • The scripts and dialogue are terrible, the story lines ripped off from every other better sci-fi show that's gone before it, the acting is terrible, and just to put the final nail into this piece of crap the shows producers think that what makes an adult show is just putting in graphic sex that serves no purpose or point to the story

  • i agree with everything Charlie Brooker says about Torchwood, it is a terrible, terrible tv show

    When I think about Torchwood it makes by blood boil that such crap can make it on tv, but not just make it, but there are people out there that actually think it's good.

  • i love torchwood and I love charlie brooker but im not offended by it because its just a tv show and if u are offended then thats a bit sad.

  • LOL nice review! XD

  • 'Whens the last time you came so hard and so long that you forgot where you were?'

    What the fuck torchwood?

    such a fucking graphic sex scene in a show that is linked inextricably to doctor who, who's current fanbase is mainly fucking children. What the fuck. Auuuugh. the rage makes my brain hurt.

  • Wow, Torchwood had that content?

  • Yes, it was kind of supposed to be Dr Who but for a more adult audience.

    The problem was, Dr Who is at basically a kids' show - it mixes science fiction and ghost stories and fairytales etc in a way that only children's fiction can.

    In Torchwood they took Dr Who and added a lot of gritty adult content without taking any of the more fanciful childish stuff away.

    The result was a bit of a mess - too far-fetched for a lot of adults, but too sexual and violent for the youngsters.

  • So in other words you mean it was shit?

  • Pretty much. Queer as Folk with aliens.

  • grand theft fucking sherwood!!!! hahahahaha

  • i know!!! brilliant!!

    i love torchwood and robin hood as well :S !

  • probably why you didn't get it then...

    oh that's gonna cause a backlash.

  • There is only one person who has revealed his ignorance here. Don't do it again little boy, its embarrassing.

  • lmao That was completely awesome. Now I won't be able to think of Torchwood the same *Scooby Doo theme pops in head*

  • I'd rather watch the Chuckle Brothers Cum-shot Show than any more fucking Torchwood. Then again, I haven't been keen on Doctor Who the last few years either. Probably because of Tennant's performance - a fine actor he most certainly is, but I hate his interpretation of the Doctor.

  • i adore torchwood but now i am gonna laugh every time i see it because i'll think of scoobie doo... lol!!

  • What is this..grand theft fucking sherwood lmao

  • first series was shit - second was much better

  • It had its moments, 'Countrycide' and 'Captain Jack Harkness' were amazing.

  • countrcide was midless was rubbish in my opinion. with blood. and death

  • So True

  • :O it's like he just insulted my religion Lol!! I love TW!

  • You sure about that?

  • you're fucking kidding

  • lol photos on his phone for his myspace page, ha!

  • Torchwood is hilariously misjudged. Every time they try to inject a scene of an emotional or dramatic nature into it, it just comes off as funny.

  • Ha charlie brokker is great.

    '...And lots of steamy, anything goes shaggery.' LMAO

  • Chucklevision with fighting and cumshots.

  • Grand Theft fucking Sherwood?

  • deanward2006 - I laughed so hard at your comment below that in my haste to give it a thumbs up, I accidentally clicked 'spam'! So sorry!

  • This is Torchwood summed up:

    "Damn it, the alien found us!"

    "Oh no, we're gonna die!"

    "Quick, let's shag each other!"

    "Okay!"

  • loool

  • To be fair Torchwood isn't meant to be taken very seriously.. its like the old version of Batman

    They know the story lines are crap but it's more comical and a laugh

    He's right about Robin Hood though :)

  • Im not so sure, since it expected us to buy that a police officer would be traumitsed to learn people are capablr of bad deeds.

    But Robin Hood sucks big time.

  • Yeah to be honest I don't think Torchwood is intended that way at all

  • he's kind of right in some ways but you've gotta love torchwood specially janto :p

    xxx

  • you've gotta love torchwood specially janto :p

    Um.... No I don't.

  • fair enough, i was just making the point that i do, its just an opinion :)

    xx

  • i love torchwood so there!

  • Thats very nice.

  • If the Chuckle brothers and Torchwood had a fight heres why the Chuckles would win:

    1]They can work as a team.

    2]They're smart enough to spell the title of their show.

    3]They could formulate a strategy while Torchood is off having their obligatory sex scens.

    4]There comically sped up montages would be useful against Torchwoods reliance on slo mo emotinal moments, as they could take out all Torchood and fling Jack in a volcano while hes still 1/2 way through his big emotinal close up.

  • OK, I'm a huge Torchwood fan and I found this absolutely hilarious. And I couldn't agree more on his assessment of Robin Hood which is, let's face it, utter shite.

  • even if you're a torchwood fan, you've got to admit he's got a very good point when he draws parallels with scooby doo!

  • NOOOO

    I LOVE TORCHWOOD!

  • Haven't seen the new Robin Hood but why remake it? The best version of the story is the Robin of Sherwood series from 84 to 86. Back when the Brits actually made good television. Not the crap they turn out now such as the badly acted and poorly written Torchwood.

  • If you're using Screen Wipe as your window into British television then of course you're going to think it's a dire state of affairs. The UK still pumps out good television, although it's mainly comedy.

  • "The UK still pumps out good television, although it's mainly comedy." Don't make me laugh.

    Um...

  • There's a reason the USA re-makes so many British comedies... cretin.

  • his summary of robin hood is spot on imo. which made it hilarious to watch, but an aweful program

  • Chuckle Vision with cum shots !

  • i thought the concept of torchwood was funny because it's in Wales, as if the aliens went "london-no, New York-no, Washington DC-no, Wales? GET IN!!"

  • alex , learn to spell.

  • "Grand Theft Fucking Sherwood!?"

    Lmao!

  • Wait a minute!? The shows for kids and they have scenes of hardcore sex? =o!

  • Torchwood isn't for kids - it was supposed to be the "dark and adult" counterpart to Doctor Who (which really is for kids these days). Unfortunately the showrunners took this to mean "the same as Doctor Who, but with lots of needless sex and violence and swearing", and the end result was a load of immature, puerile dross. And then parents started bitching that little Johnny and Suzie wanted to watch Torchwood too, and how dare the BBC make them do some actual parenting for once.

  • Torchwood isn't for kids - it was supposed to be the "dark and adult" counterpart to Doctor Who (which really is for kids these days). Unfortunately the showrunners took this to mean "the same as Doctor Who, but with lots of needless sex and violence and swearing", and the end result was a load of immature, puerile dross. And then parents started bitching that little Johnny and Suzie wanted to watch Torchwood too, and how dare the BBC make them do some actual parenting for once.

  • i think i am in love with this man.

    all of you's who think his a wanker,

    you take life farr too seriously.

    losers, have a laughh !

    his hilarious!

    xxo

  • HAHAHAHAHA XD Scooby doo! XD He is so right, once again

  • My prob is it always feels forced. Eg, in Greeks bearing gifts it kinda felt pointless to throw in another sexual predator in a series that had already had 4 shown. The butterfly creature's betrayl would have been a lot more potent had it simply been a friend rather than just someone Tosh said, "I'll just shag her" something that undermined any realism in the situation in favour of throwing in a lesbian sex scene.

  • I do like Sci fi in genral. However, I find Torchwood shite and the New Who variable. Torchwood is laughably stupid.

    1.They can be outwitted by fat old farmers? LOL

    2.Most of the sex felt overprolonged and had little point but to take up air time when implication would have been enough.

    3. RTD seems to define love as, "They wanna shag each other." The moment Gwen feels isolated from Rhys she does Owen. Had they slowly grown closer then done the dirty I would have bought it.

  • Well it's clear that opinion's strongly divided, maybe a little too strongly in some cases if you read the aggravated postings that have gone back and forth since the video was posted. But each to their own...

  • Do you like sci-fi generally Guganbuster?What have you preferred?I'm not trying to catch you out,I'm genuinely curious.Sorry,these are all over the place,my browser's taking the piss at the mo.

  • Don't get me wrong though Gunganbuster,I understand your reservations.(although not why youtube won't let me post this as a reply, bloody thing!) It was difficult to like the main characters in series 1 for a start and depiction of the Canary Wharf 'branch' in Who was more convincing as an organisation of this kind to me,but I simply like more than I dislike.

  • Youtube?

  • Testing, work YouTube you sod!

  • Charlie Brooker is <3

    Torchwood is </3

  • Torchwood was a kiddie show with cussin and gore thrown in. Even stuff that was vital to the plot could have been implied rather than shown (eg they could have simply had the team show up in the aftermath of the death by shagging in Day one, rather than show it in grauitous detail) I can watch Batman the animated series and even Teen Titans and still feel less like kids tV the Torchie.

  • main character looks like a timberlake twin who s taking an poisoned sword up his ass

  • Yeah the modernisation of Robin Hood is bollocks. Robin Hood should indeed never look like some cocky Arctic Monkeys type wanker.

  • Never really seen it, but from bits I've gathered from it, the problem was with torchwood was that ridiculous 'mystery mobile' with the flashing stripy blue lights and that it looked really cheap. The only good thing about it was the cute brunette actress with the Country accent(?)... :D

  • torch wood is really fucking awful!

  • Torchwood is shite. CB got it right is it a kids show or is it an adults show WTF!

  • Of course Torchwood looks bad from the clips he showed. He deliberately picked some of the worst clips from the start of the series (and one from the middle which was taken out of context). I'm a massive Torchwood fan, but even I acknowledge that the first two episodes were weak - especially compared to gems like 'Small Worlds' or some of the ones from the second half of the series.

  • I've seen all of Torchwood and he didn't need to edit it to make it look shite.

  • But you watched it all though just incase you'd misjudged it presumably?

  • It's all subjective though isn't it? I know Torchwood is imperfect but then so is every other show, except maybe Edge of Darkness, House of cards, The Sopranos or The Wire etc (delete or replace as suits). I'm prepared to forgive these shortcomings though as I personally find the positive points outweigh the negative. Others obviously don't and that's their right. To round it off, I'm also very fond of Charlie Brooker's writing, anybody remember TV Go Home?

  • Yep, I did watch it all the way through, and I spent quite a while in dneial before realising it was shite.Come on, I doubt the bastards could outwit a bannana skin. And all the "Adult content" Felt showhorned in, kids could be watching damn it, and the nastiest stuff could easily have been implied or offscreen.

  • Well it's on after the 9pm watershed, so has the right to be as adult as it likes to be honest. Children have secretly watched adult material for years anyway and there's no evidence that the majority have been done any harm. You could conversely argue that the Doctor Who monsters are too 'child orientated' to suspend disbelief so it's a matter of personal interpretation. Have you seen any of series 2 by the way? It's possible that some of your concerns may have been addressed.

  • I avioded series 2 as I felt the first time I had learned my lesson. One thing I dislike about RTD who in genral is that the emotinal content and the plot are very divorced, with the drama usualy sidelining the plot (like Superman Returns) much as I want drama, it helps when it drives the plot (like Batman Begins) rather than the plot simply being a host body for the drama.

  • Speaking of Batman Begins, it's great what Chris Nolan achieved for the franchise after the almost lethal Batman & Robin. I wonder if JJ Abrams can do the same for Star Trek?

  • One can only hope. You should look up the "Wrath of Kirk" recut on You Tube.

  • My prob is it always feels forced. Eg, in Greeks bearing gifts it kinda felt pointless to throw in another sexual predator in a series that had already had 4 shown. The butterfly creature's betrayl would have been a lot more potent had it simply been a friend rather than just someone Tosh said, "I'll just shag her" something that undermined any realism in the situation in favour of throwing in a lesbian sex scene.

  • I'll tell you a guilty pleasure of mine: Blakes 7. I loved it as a child (I'm in my 30s) but I have been delighted to find that I've really enjoyed it on dvd recently, faults and all. It'd make a great remake and the I still think the Liberator is the most gorgeous ship I've ever seen!

  • I've never seen Blake 7, a fact I wish to change...

  • Well expect late 70s BBC effects and a hearty dose of campness, but there's great iconic characters (particularly Avon) and it's all pleasingly dark and dystopian. Also, they dared to take risks...although I won't give anything away. A lot of it is nostalgia for me though. New viewers may be less kind.

  • It's the fact it seems so imature with it. Torchwood feels like watching a kid who's just learned to make a farting sound, as it's desire to shock is so transparent, and the adult moments always feel thrwon in (Unlike on say the X files) I can watch BTAS without it seemingly like a kiddie show but Torchwodd... F*** it.

  • Hello there Gunganbuster, long time no hear. I don't recognise BTAS, inless you mean BTVS? (I even googled it just incase I was missing something obvious)...

  • Batman the animated series

  • It's just Torchood is a hell of a lot more imperfect than most shows. When I watch it I feel I'm watching Chucklevison, while if I'm watching most of Bruce Timm's DC animation I feel like I'm watching a mature programe, just without the usual sex/violence.

  • For a moment I thought you meant Charlie Brookers in a cameo role on torchwood. I then proceeded to end my life.

  • Torchwood is bad bad bad.

  • I can't decide if you're aware of the hyperbole involved and are just being ironic, or aren't aware of the hyperbole, and are just an idiot.

    But this is youtube, so I have to assume you're an idiot.

  • Of course I'm aware of the hyperbole and I am being ironic. You can consequently change your assumption, although you evidently feel youtube is populated by idiots, whcih would go a long way to explain your presence here. You've certainly got me convinced...

  • H-y-p-e-r-b-o-l-e... (just thought I'd spell that out for you).

  • ....pardon?

  • So true.

  • torchwood ain't that bad never is robin hood

  • well i have no idea hu this guy is but I think torchwood is the best but every 1 has different oppinions so y is every 1 fiting bout it?

  • I agree with this, like you say everyone's entitled to their own opinion, I'm a massive fan of Torchwood too :D

  • God, the irate and inane Torchwood fans on here make me adore the man even more.

  • funny, the inane and irate Charlie Brooker fans on here make me adore Torchwood even more :D

  • I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the dickhead above you.

  • xb0xguru

  • Erm, no the best episode and only good thing in Torchwood was the episode where we find that Japanese(toshiba or whatever her name was) one likes to munch the sushi rather than the sausage ;)

    Lovin the new series of Screenwipe

    The only show on BBC Four worth watching

  • Although the actress who played her was great in "Topsy Turvy"

    Such a shame her character was so unpleasant

  • Torchwood's finest episodes are few and far between. PJ Hammond's "Small Worlds" is gripping, but it's more memorable for Jack saying "oh, all right then, here's the girl now fuck off" than anything "heroic".