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  • you forgot the wierd animal sex field. that should be the biggest one, right at the top.

  • i have puked on another person in college. he was happy that i chose to puke on his hands rather than those of any of the other people at the party. however, i do not recommend this as a means of bonding for other people. my friend is just really quirky lol

    thanks john, for letting me know that it gets better eventually. graduating in may is totally freaking me out, but i have renewed hope that life will probably suck less in two years.

  • Oh ya hypochondriacs!

  • another rule that is severely underrated. don't smoke in your room unless u have a vape. its cold outside and you don't want to do it. but smoking outside will keep u in college. smoking inside won't.

  • The fountainhead is a terrible book....terrible terrible. Thank you John for that. 

  • Fountainhead is good. Atlas Shrugged is great. DFTBA

  • Ah, I am so happy that I live in Denmark, and student loans aren't a problem for me. Because in Denmark the government pays you to study :D

  • The Guy in the Fountain head actually had a marketable skill.

  • i read the fountainhead my junior year of high school, and i definitely got excited about it.

  • Every time I think I can't make it through I just watch this video and feel slightly better.

  • I love how I found out about vlogbrothers before this video was made but, didn't see it until my second semester of college.

  • John Green: he loves a road trip.

  • Alright, a little less afraid about college...

  • I actualy go to college and clean everyone's toilet because I also work with the janitors.

  • STOP TELLING ME YOU WERE IN EDINBURGH AND THAT I MISSED IT!!!

    ...

    (watching all the vlogbrother's vids from the beginning and wishing I was a nerdfighter a couple of years ago)

  • Ok so I've watched all of your videos enough times to notice that you always somehow mention vomiting on another person when you talk about college. I've gotta say John, I'm a bit curious to know if that actually happened to you! hahaha

  • @mandatsuki watch his swindon town let's play video, where he talks about when he first got drunk. then you will understand.

  • I always die of laughter at "Binge drinking".

  • i just started the fountainhead, HOW CAN I NOT GET EXCITED?

  • You look like a ZeFrank with glasses.

  • @smurphgirl131 John vomited on his friends bed when he was in college. He talks about this in one of his Swindon Town videos =)

  • Should i go to the university that isn't my first choice but has the program i like or the university that i like the best even though it doesn't offer that program?

  • @Songbird734 I mean, ultimately college is an investment in your future career. So, I would say that if you're going from a purely logical standpoint you should go to the college that has the program you want. And I would argue that no matter where you go, you're going to find a group of friends and places that you like hanging out with/at. But, honestly, the choice is entirely up to you. Good luck and DFTBA! :)

  • I don't live in a dorm, so I need to clean my own toilet. I wouldn't want it any other way. I'll take a clean toilet over a 'toilet cleaned once a week and visited by a dozen scumbags' any time, thank you very much

  • What advice do you give to people in Britain, where it is TOO SMALL to take road trips?! Seriously, it's no fun if you only drive for two days and you can get all the way across it.

  • @EvilGenius255 Do be Ireland, the longest it could possibly take to drive anywhere in Ireland (and yes, I am including those places that only are acessible by rubish country roads) is about 4 hours, you could easily get up late, drive from one side to the other, have a nice lunch, then be back in time to get dumped (seems to be what John does on road trips) before having dinner. Less interesting but more handy

  • AHHH FOUNTAINHEAD. i'm glad you said that. so much! 

  • Thumbs up if you want to go to Kenyon but it's TOO FREAKING EXPENSIVE.

  • i like how you have literal fields for your knowledge.

  • I agree wholeheartedly with John's advice on road trips. My roommate and I once drove about an hour and a half (not a very long roadtrip, but we're nerds, cut us some slack) to see a concert and it ended up being one of the things that made us best friends instead of just dudes who live together.

  • lol so true, my floormate pissed on his roomates shoes. Classic!

  • ...What's wrong with the Fountainhead? o_O

  • @SnowingWolfGirl Don't ask me, I don't know what it is.

  • Ive been in college for 2 semesters now.. I am in 2 clubs.. and have thrown up on somebody once.. givin we were in a car.. On a road trip.. Dont combine drinking and roadtrips. U might get puked on.. Sorry Steven

  • You end with a Rand slam?! Atlas is now not only shrugging but is also shaking his head.

  • Personally, I would rather have to clean my own toilet than have to deal with nasty communal toilets and having to shower with other peoples hair in the drain, and on the walls....

  • Forth: Road Trips...Take them!

  • 3:54 Do you... do you slit your wrists? o.o

  • @professermuchao It's a birthmark. :) He talked about it in another Question Tuesday video. :)

  • I wish I had seen this video in August. I guess each semester is a new start, though, right?

  • am i the only one who found john's lack of calm self like, hilarious. i did this weird squeak of laughter.

  • House was the reason I'm a hypochondriac but your story is better

  • @MrWundrful i know right! so true, these days i get one headache and i'm like no, i definately have a worm of some description eating my brain.

  • See, I just got a scholarship that completely pays off my university degree this year. I'm thankful for it (I did work my behind off for it though), but that doesn't mean I'm not going to work just as hard to get distinctions in my degree.

  • I'm in a BOARDING HIGH SCHOOL and I have to clean my toilets.

    fffffuuuu

  • I get car sick. Road trips are bad idea.

  • "Don't get too excited about The Fountainhead".

    VERY good advice. An excellent book but NONE of those main characters are great role models. And throwing a Howard Roark will not get you a job.

  • One of the downsides of going to college in Manhattan: I don't know a single person who has a car anywhere near school, making spontaneous road trips nearly impossible. I suppose we could take Amtrak to anywhere on the east coast if we really wanted to...

  • FYI John, I've cleaned my own toilets since primary school...

  • Still in high school. I still have to clean toilets. So, it can only go up for me1 :) 

  • excellent advice about studying broadly, i'm a diehard aetheist and probably my favorite (non-Science) courses were in religious studies and philosophy (went to a "Catholic College" to impress a xgf's mom) dont regret anything about it!

  • In my country we can't choose classes the way Americans can. We choose our course and we have set classes for four years! It kinda sucks!!!

  • Incidentally: Don't clean your toilet with a scouring pad, not ever.

  • You're a hypochondriac? Me too! I have been one nearly my whole life, and health is scary, as in, I've been convinced multiple times that I have cancer, so yeah.

  • I graduate college this april.

    None of my friends can drive.

    No road trips for us. :(

  • how do you take roadtrips in hawaii?

  • @gangsterbunny101 LOL "Welcome to Hawii! How the hell did you manage to drive here?"

  • @Machi9095 with my subcar.

  • I am reading the fountainhead right now! Why can't I get excited?

  • Haha, for college I just read Tobia Wolff's Old School in which the danger of The Fountainhead is apparent. And every piece of advice in this video is spot on,

  • I'm confused about the fountainhead comment.

  • @fizmaester The Fountainhead is a novel by Ayn Rand. In my experience, people tend to tote it around in an attempt to make themselves seem more intelligent. It's a good book, but definitely should not be carried about as if it's a trophy to your intellect.

  • @tetsuyayamatashi That is indeed why people tote it around but its mainly to show the contrast of political ideology. In a quick look at the political spectrum one may say "Liberals are smart and Conservatives are dumb" when really lot of Liberals (who no offense to anyone typically are more intelligent) have no idea of the intellectual right.

  • @fizmaester It's an Ayn Rand book. A lot of people read Libertarian literature and mentally dwarf themselves for years (or decades) afterwards as a result. If you frequent any online political forums of any kind, you'll eventually run into them.

    They're essentially living proof that you don't have to be dumb to believe dumb things. In fact, it's easier to be dumb if you're smart enough to make good excuses about it.

    Junk philosophy is bad.

  • @fizmaester I am too... Oh, look a reply to this comment.

  • fourth, road trips. take them.

  • im gonna have to drive 2000-3000 miles and cross the canadian border any advice on that?

    (never let your parents talk to your canadian best friend...)

  • I started college this year, and dropped out in the same year. I just could not handle it. I guess I'm not as smart as those stupid people or one of those "If they can do it, so can you" people. I'm ashamed every day.

  • @coolerty Just because college isn't for you doesn't mean you're stupid. Hell my dad and my brother are smarter than 99% of the people I've met and neither of them went to college. My dad works as a firefighter and my brother is an electrician. College probably just doesn't fit you, and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

  • @coolerty your probably like me. i just don't learn at a desk. i write at a desk and i learn with a pocket knife and a first aid pamphlet (how i learned to remove a bullet) and that's just how my brain works. i hate college and it can bite me.

  • "The point of life is to be able to engage as deeply as possible with the miracle of human consciousness" Going in my final college essay!

  • i need to get me a bludgeoning stick!

  • @lovemydog21

    Great ideas were meant to be stolen. Thank you.

    -me

  • 2:13 I know the story behind that particular piece of advice... ;)

    

  • Slowly compiling Vlogrbother's videos I will most definitely find helpful later in life...yeah. This is one of them.

  • I'm going to university in my hometown next year (just got my acceptance letter a few days ago) and I can't decide whether I should live at home or in res next year.

  • @EmilyEmilyIris Live away. I know it might cost a little more, but trust me you will miss out on the essential college experience otherwise. Most of your social interactions happen in your dorm and very few in the classroom. Even if you get involved, nothing beats people randomly running down your hallway going "FREE SOUP TEN MINUTES" and meeting someone that will change your life at said free soup night. It will be worth it, I promise you.

  • This video is SO MUCH MORE FUNNY revisiting it after John Plays Fifa #13

  • It's a good day when I am forced to watch Vlogbrothers videos in order to cite their quotes in my college admissions essays.

  • Damn it. This whole video is taunting me. I gave up a full ride at U.C. Davis, and I plunged right into full-blown adulthood at seventeen. Paying for everything myself, blah-di-blah. Well, that was all very exciting all the way through eighteen, but now, at nineteen, I'm trying to pay for college, I lost my job, and I've got thousands of dollars of dental work that needs to be done... Yeah, that half-adult stepping stone that is the traditional college experience might have been nice.

  • 1:57-2:04 pretty much sums up the beginning of the first (short) romantic relationship I had. Ohhhh young adolescence.

  • you were in LONDON?! ;_; why wasn't I a nerdfighter last august :(

  • I'm a senior in college and this video makes me feel immensely better about my college experience.

  • But I have to clean up my own toilet, it's en suite :(

  • I go to a smart people school and I still agree that many stupid people skate by in college... :/ it saddens me lol

  • "That's not true, John"

    "Well it should be"

    ... And then I died of laughter.

  • @meddows12345 Me too! It was adorable. Especially since he did a jump cut over to the other side of the frame. Teehee.

  • If you like to shotgunning beers follow me on twitter @ShotgunLeague

  • This is why I went to TAFE (Technical Collage or Trade School)

  • Can I just second the trying not to throw up on people part? Because it happened to me. As in I was the victim. -sigh-

  • I have a dorm room and I cleaned my toilet this morning. sigh.

  • This makes two videos and one book that feature the advice "don't throw up on people"... I think John may have learned this the hard way and was traumatized by it.

  • @smurphgirl131 No, John just urinated on someone else's bed.

  • @smurphgirl131 you should go to hankgames, and watch the video where John explains how he vomited on himself and peed in his friend's bed.

  • @smurphgirl131 well he actually spoke about it in a video on hankgames :D

  • You should have a book told by the two separate identities of conjoined twins!! -Random comment.

  • we have to clean our toilets...

  • Atlas Shrugged is better :P

  • I wish I had watched this video when I was sixteen and reading The Fountainhead.

  • Hey! I'm reading The Fountainhead right now, and I'm 13. Though Ayn Rand hasn't got anything on John Green... =D DFTBA

  • hahahah keep pressing 5

  • I wish that I had rewatched this video before I went off this August. This was kind of the exact thing I needed to hear that no one would say. Oh well. *transfers home*

  • Hahaha fantastic last line.

  • what is the fountain head? Wait. . . do I want to know? 

  • @Ninjaslikelamas I believe he's talking about The Fountainhead, a book by Ayn Rand

  • I wish colleges where I'm from are like they are there where the students get to choose the classes they take...

  • but i wanted to know about that brain matter question.

  • It's my first year in college and I watch this video every couple months to remember what I should be doing. 

  • what about the fountainhead?

  • Haha I get the whole "try not to pee or throw-up on people or their belongings" thing now!!!!

  • lol, my team for Strategic Management class found this video when looking for videos of people giving advice for college students. I told them, "Oh John Green" and they asked me if I knew him. XD

    "No, I do not. :("

  • 2:13 you say don't pee on other people's belongings! I remember that story you told while playing fifa about you peeing on your friend's bed... lol

  • Haha, my roommate totally missed a test to go the Grand Canyon with a girl he had just met.

  • Comment removed

  • I wish UK university was like US college in that you don't have to decide what you want to do with the rest of your life immediately. I want to take classes in loads of different subjects and use college to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't want to have to choose one subject to study about a year before I even go to college and then be stuck with it for the next three years.

  • I love that in this video 'the point of life' is deblt with.

  • I love Burma too, although I love the free Burma run by Daw Aung San Suu Kyi more than the oppressive Myanmar. That is not to say that I do not love the people of Myanmar, just that I think most of them would be a lot happier if they weren't be systematically killed by their government. Especially the Karen people. And I also love Tibet. Was the only loving one club statement a reference to how annoying and inherently classist fraternities and sororities can be?

  • The peeing and throwing up advice makes sense now!

  • That's not true John. Well it should be... Hahaha love it.

  • I both like and hate that I know what The Fountainhead is.

  • I have a dorm room and I have to clean my toilet and shower.

  • What is 'the fountainhead'!?

  • There are so many quotable statements in this video...so many! But seriously lots of good advice!

  • "Nobody likes being vomited upon.

    That's not true, John.

    Well, it should be."

  • In high school every one said collage will be the best years of your life and now that i'm in collage your telling me there not. When will the best year's come i cant wait anymore!

  • @aidry100 Stop waiting! Make your own best years!

  • I think you should talk about choosing a college. I don't mean applying to them, that's easy. I mean once you get into 6-2 schools, how do you choose? I was accepted to 6 highly regarded universities and had to choose just one. i guess it is kinda wrapped up in the "What do i do with my life?" question. It was really tough for me, although, so far everything is working out fine.

    But yeh, so far i agree with everything you say in this video.

  • What's the fountainhead?

  • Ugh I hate the Fountainhead. The only college person who sucks worse than "College Marxist" is "College Randian". God do I hate them.

  • Are you REALLY a hypochondriac or did you read something about hypochondria?

  • Are you REALLY a hypochondriac or did you read something about hypochondria?

  • OMG. I love you for "don't get too excited about the Fountainhead" Great advice!

  • Comment removed

  • I like it when he talks ot himself.

  • i know a club to join if your college has it: Nerdfighter club. And if your college doesn't have one, MAKE ONE.

  • Thanks for the advice.

  • I WANNA BE YOUR FRIENDDD TOOOOOOOO! :)

  • I guess my boarding school is in between the in between and middles school. sometimes i feel like college advice videos dont apply to me in any way...

  • Starting College in less than one month... Thank you! <3

  • don't get too excited about the fountainhead...good advice John!

  • I wish I knew some of this 4 years ago when I was starting University

  • If your at a party but you don't wanna drink and people normally pressure you to, bring apple juice, it looks like beer.

  • Best advice for me is to ditch Youtube, Video Games, Facebook, and other non college activities.

  • spazzy john green is hilarious :)

  • I don't have a problem cleaning toilets!

  • I'm going to community college and living at home, so that boils the list down to

    1. Academics.

  • You forgot "World's Largest Balls" in your field of expertise... (it's from an old video, nerdfighters, I'm not being derogatory... or am I? ;) )

  • I'm going to live in a dorm but we have to clean our own toilets. It's suite style.

  • I have to clean my own toilet.

    But thank you for posting this video even though it was over a year ago. I'm leaving tomorrow (moving in Tuesday) and this is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment.

  • Never seen him before, quite charming, clever, and likable. Hmph… wow

  • Does anyone know where the marks on hanks arm are from?

  • @FoxForcex5 This is not Hank.

  • @TheBrainPulse yes, that is john. hanks brother.

  • @FoxForcex5 that's john, not hank. and they're birthmarks

  • When he describes the way he breaks down and wants to be your friend he shows very good acting instinct.

  • Does anyone have any information about nursing scholarships that will be enough to pay for tuition and fees, books, supplies and room and board? I've been having trouble finding them. Any suggestions?

  • I actually drank too much one night last year (my first year of college) and threw up on someone and soon became their good friend...though I'll admit, it's probably the exception to the vomiting-on-strangers-rule.

  • I go to college at 17 so the binge drinking I have to be... Avoiding? Unless I move to England, in which case I can do much more of it.

  • Wow, this guy was good. First video I've seen from him and it was pretty damn funny, haha.

  • Did I miss the video when we explored sasquatchery?

  • I have to clean the toilets. I'm also the janitor :)

  • I always have a bit of a "the grass is greener" feel about American college format (by which I mean taking courses in several different departments). In England the question isn't "what's your major?" because that would imply you're studying other things too, which most people aren't. It is possible to pick up credits in other departments but its not always straightforward and most students don't do it. It means we get to delve into our chosen subject more deeply, but we miss out on other things

  • @marquoth My degree was in linguistics. I did, at one point, apply to take some electives in physics and mathematics but in the end the process was so complicated I actually gave up and just stuck with what was on offer in my own department. I often went to lectures in other departments for fun or because they sounded interesting - immunology was entertaining and I was never going to be able to resist a lecture entitled "the physics of music" - but it was never for credit.

  • Quite funny and I agree with the most part about college.

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  • This was linked to from a video that Rice University sent me. I'm glad to see that we're gaining world domination.