Follow your Heart.... And it not good to tell others of your relationship we have haters who think they helping you out... But they making everything worse.
I'm SOOOO glad you posted a video like this. First I hope everything goes good for you !! I have a child and thought for sure my chances with asian men were 0. But, you give me hope !! :3
Thank you for sharing something so personal with all of us. Sounds to me like you've given this quite a bit of thought. It's good that you're considering things like: financial support, the child's father, what you want out of the relationship. Just take it one day at a time - don't force it. Oh, one more thing - you've got to love the child too. If you don't truly love the mother AND the child, it won't work. Not to put a damper on things, but I'm just telling you how it is. Take care :)
Anyhoo, slow it down. I've witnessed many friends that are younger than me (which is 23) fall in love and have kids. I had a friend that fell in love and spent three years with some guy, had a kid, they broke up, and now he has a new family.
Aw! Pray about it. Also, you are dating her child as well. A person should put others first, so a mother will put her child before herself... at least most mothers would. As far as forgiveness goes, everyone should be forgiven. What the child's father did was wrong, but if he wants to see his kid he'll find a way to. Even if that means taking legal action. I grew up without a father and my mother spent most of my childhood not being around, but I've been blessed with a Grandmother and Uncles th
hey i just want to add my two cents lol. as a single mother with a crappy bd i can tell you from experiance it probably isnt any easier for the mother. i have concerns if i do meet someone else as to how the guys family will treat my kids (only 2). as far as the father goes it can be a peaceful situation ive see it done. i dont think my comment makes much sense sorry lol. but i say go for it, you dont want to miss out on something that could be great over someone else mistake ( by that i mean t
Hey Icysparks, I just watched your video, I'd have to say, if you are going to be in a long term relationship with this girl, it's going to be a package deal. The father is going to be involved in one way another,he has that right, since he it biologically the father, regardless what he has done to her in the past or if he has changed his ways. In this situation , you will definitely need patiences and understanding. If its meant to be, it will happen :)
Hi, how are you? you seem to be a very genuine gentle soul and that in itself is a very charming trait. I am happy that you have found love, however because she is a single mom, dont let that determine or detract from what could be a wonderful relationship. You have to remember, you cant just date the mom and ignore the child. If you can get through this together it will only make your relationship stronger for the future. Trust me, i've been there myself. Take care and god's blessings x
Hey. You are a wonderful fellow and you have a good heart. Thinking about the future is good...but maybe you should work on the present first. I think that before you two get into anything serious, she should work things out between the father (go to court). You should not have to carry this. Rushing will make the situation messier. Take baby steps. You are acting on your feelings. She needs to straighten these issues out before you two begin any relationship. I'd say more but out of characters.
This just my opinion.. dont take postive or negative comments to heart.. because if u are willing to take on chance on love..then thats on you..u live ur life they way u wont.. not what everybody else thinks or says to u. Just know single parents deserved to be happy to.
Wow, long distance, AMBW relationship, and a single mom. No offense, but that seems like a lot to take on. Also, have you met her yet? I'm for dating single moms, but your situation seems quite complicated with the child's father and everything. Good luck and don't overcommit. Also, curious, do your parents know/have any thoughts about your relationship? Just curious cus I'm an Asian guy around your age as well, and I'm pretty sure my parents would be like "hell no."
@mingmao11 Yes, it is a lot to take on. My parents are impartial to our situation, they want to see if a positive relationship between us can occur first. Thanks for the advice and support.
She is going back to the baby's daddy! She has a history with him. You don't need a situation like this! I know your family can't be for you entering into a relationship like this. Listen to your family!
@jgoodlowe She has assured me this won't happen and I trust her when she says this. My parents are impartial about our potential relationship at the moment, they want to see if a positive relationship between us can develop first.
Sounds like a little bit of a complicated situation...But I'm positive you can make this work! I think it's really cool that you're open to dating a single mom, who is ALSO Black!
well..I see you have a full plate...but please by all means take one day at a time...and good luck...maybe one day I will be happy with my Asian guy...but I'm not ready for any relationship now...Have a wonderful week..much success
dont make any hasty decisions, give yourself time to keep getting to know her and understand that you are indeed entering a relationship, to some extent, with her child and the ex. they are a package deal with her, so think about it wisely. this is the advice i would give my own brother, in the end you will know what is the right decisions for you, but make sure that you give yourself enough time to make a well rounded decision :) good luck man
@efdizzle09 I expressed to her my concern with meeting the son's father. Neither of us wants the father involved in any part of our relationship, but if the son wants to down the road, we may have to compromise. Thanks for the support!
Long time no see... I'm not sure about the possibilities of this relationship but I would make sure you are spiritually compatible( a good Christian family) so that you can endure things. :)
this is a good question/thought. I'm a single mother, and the guy that I'm involved hasn't met my son yet. Only becuz I've been thru some things in the past that kinda scared us. So this time I'm playing it safe but I commend you!
I honestly would not date a man who was a single parent only because I'm really not good at handling complicated situations like that, although I would probably love the child and his father.
On the other hand your situation is different and you seem to be giving this alot of consideration, so whatever you decide make sure it's what's best for you, her, and her child.
If you already think of her as your family though, then that attachment might drive your desicion anyways so GOOD LUCK!
@101paramoreluver I am Taiwanese. You can call me Chinese too, but my parents, grandparents, and relatives were all born and raised in Taiwan so it doesn't make as much sense.
Wow! Congratulations on being in love. I am so hoping this girl doesn't return to the guy. That's what I'm worried about as I listen to you. IF the guy has changed and if this is a long distance relationship, there might be tension and fear on your part that the girl will return to him because of their history and the child. I hope she's all you think she is. Take it from an old woman: Six months is not a relationship; it's a trial membership. So don't let fear make you commit too soon.
@ShadowJ20 So far, my parents have not expressed any personal concerns. They want to see if our relationship has the potential to develop first. My dad has offered to help me financially with meeting her, as I am a full-time optometry student at the moment.
Follow your Heart.... And it not good to tell others of your relationship we have haters who think they helping you out... But they making everything worse.
malikadiamond 1 week ago
Only you know what's best for you:)
maame85 2 weeks ago
I'm SOOOO glad you posted a video like this. First I hope everything goes good for you !! I have a child and thought for sure my chances with asian men were 0. But, you give me hope !! :3
MszYaYa22 1 month ago
Thank you for sharing something so personal with all of us. Sounds to me like you've given this quite a bit of thought. It's good that you're considering things like: financial support, the child's father, what you want out of the relationship. Just take it one day at a time - don't force it. Oh, one more thing - you've got to love the child too. If you don't truly love the mother AND the child, it won't work. Not to put a damper on things, but I'm just telling you how it is. Take care :)
TheLadyBugg8 1 month ago
Don't do it. You will regret it. That is a lot to take on at this age. Live life!
anikadiamond007 1 month ago
@anikadiamond007 After thinking about it, I don't want to be discouraging. This seems like a lot of obstacles, but if it makes you happy - go for it!
anikadiamond007 1 month ago
at made up for it.
Anyhoo, slow it down. I've witnessed many friends that are younger than me (which is 23) fall in love and have kids. I had a friend that fell in love and spent three years with some guy, had a kid, they broke up, and now he has a new family.
GrungeQueen18 2 months ago
Aw! Pray about it. Also, you are dating her child as well. A person should put others first, so a mother will put her child before herself... at least most mothers would. As far as forgiveness goes, everyone should be forgiven. What the child's father did was wrong, but if he wants to see his kid he'll find a way to. Even if that means taking legal action. I grew up without a father and my mother spent most of my childhood not being around, but I've been blessed with a Grandmother and Uncles th
GrungeQueen18 2 months ago
GOOD LUCK!:)
missnatasha2011 2 months ago
Congrats! Hope everything goes to plan for you.
featclover 3 months ago
hey i just want to add my two cents lol. as a single mother with a crappy bd i can tell you from experiance it probably isnt any easier for the mother. i have concerns if i do meet someone else as to how the guys family will treat my kids (only 2). as far as the father goes it can be a peaceful situation ive see it done. i dont think my comment makes much sense sorry lol. but i say go for it, you dont want to miss out on something that could be great over someone else mistake ( by that i mean t
telly91484 3 months ago
Hey Icysparks, I just watched your video, I'd have to say, if you are going to be in a long term relationship with this girl, it's going to be a package deal. The father is going to be involved in one way another,he has that right, since he it biologically the father, regardless what he has done to her in the past or if he has changed his ways. In this situation , you will definitely need patiences and understanding. If its meant to be, it will happen :)
goldenboy32873 3 months ago
Hi, how are you? you seem to be a very genuine gentle soul and that in itself is a very charming trait. I am happy that you have found love, however because she is a single mom, dont let that determine or detract from what could be a wonderful relationship. You have to remember, you cant just date the mom and ignore the child. If you can get through this together it will only make your relationship stronger for the future. Trust me, i've been there myself. Take care and god's blessings x
dimpledougla 3 months ago
Hey. You are a wonderful fellow and you have a good heart. Thinking about the future is good...but maybe you should work on the present first. I think that before you two get into anything serious, she should work things out between the father (go to court). You should not have to carry this. Rushing will make the situation messier. Take baby steps. You are acting on your feelings. She needs to straighten these issues out before you two begin any relationship. I'd say more but out of characters.
AfricanSerenityFire 3 months ago
This just my opinion.. dont take postive or negative comments to heart.. because if u are willing to take on chance on love..then thats on you..u live ur life they way u wont.. not what everybody else thinks or says to u. Just know single parents deserved to be happy to.
sw3737 4 months ago
@sw3737 I appreciate the advice.
icysparks2007 4 months ago
By the way, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
101paramoreluver 4 months ago
My only complains is the volume of the audio. I think the Mic is not sufficient to capture your voice.
superhitman 4 months ago
@superhitman I realize this too. I will get it fixed for next time.
icysparks2007 4 months ago
Wow, long distance, AMBW relationship, and a single mom. No offense, but that seems like a lot to take on. Also, have you met her yet? I'm for dating single moms, but your situation seems quite complicated with the child's father and everything. Good luck and don't overcommit. Also, curious, do your parents know/have any thoughts about your relationship? Just curious cus I'm an Asian guy around your age as well, and I'm pretty sure my parents would be like "hell no."
mingmao11 4 months ago
@mingmao11 Yes, it is a lot to take on. My parents are impartial to our situation, they want to see if a positive relationship between us can occur first. Thanks for the advice and support.
icysparks2007 4 months ago
She is going back to the baby's daddy! She has a history with him. You don't need a situation like this! I know your family can't be for you entering into a relationship like this. Listen to your family!
jgoodlowe 4 months ago
@jgoodlowe She has assured me this won't happen and I trust her when she says this. My parents are impartial about our potential relationship at the moment, they want to see if a positive relationship between us can develop first.
icysparks2007 4 months ago
@icysparks2007 Just be careful. Take it slow and see what happens. You are a very sweet guy and you deserve the very best! Good Luck!
jgoodlowe 4 months ago
Don't do it! Run away while you still can! You don't want this kind of relationship! this is coming from a women. You will live to regret it!
jgoodlowe 4 months ago
Hey man :)
Sounds like a little bit of a complicated situation...But I'm positive you can make this work! I think it's really cool that you're open to dating a single mom, who is ALSO Black!
killadroid2 4 months ago
@killadroid2 Thank you!
icysparks2007 4 months ago
well..I see you have a full plate...but please by all means take one day at a time...and good luck...maybe one day I will be happy with my Asian guy...but I'm not ready for any relationship now...Have a wonderful week..much success
josie3144 4 months ago
@josie3144 Thank you!
icysparks2007 4 months ago
dont make any hasty decisions, give yourself time to keep getting to know her and understand that you are indeed entering a relationship, to some extent, with her child and the ex. they are a package deal with her, so think about it wisely. this is the advice i would give my own brother, in the end you will know what is the right decisions for you, but make sure that you give yourself enough time to make a well rounded decision :) good luck man
efdizzle09 4 months ago
@efdizzle09 I expressed to her my concern with meeting the son's father. Neither of us wants the father involved in any part of our relationship, but if the son wants to down the road, we may have to compromise. Thanks for the support!
icysparks2007 4 months ago
You're back! :)
EurAZNinvazn1214 4 months ago
@EurAZNinvazn1214 Yes :)
icysparks2007 4 months ago
Long time no see... I'm not sure about the possibilities of this relationship but I would make sure you are spiritually compatible( a good Christian family) so that you can endure things. :)
Paliba21 4 months ago
@Paliba21 Thanks for the advice!
icysparks2007 4 months ago
@Paliba21 I agree, this is very important.
bonybb14 3 months ago
this is a good question/thought. I'm a single mother, and the guy that I'm involved hasn't met my son yet. Only becuz I've been thru some things in the past that kinda scared us. So this time I'm playing it safe but I commend you!
TheeQueenBeeee 4 months ago
@TheeQueenBeeee I see. Certainly let the relationship develop first; after all, he is dating you not your son.
icysparks2007 4 months ago
I think it's obvious who you're going out with ^ ^ Wish you two the best of luck <3 So happy for you!! :D
oliviaw83 4 months ago
@oliviaw83 Thanks!
icysparks2007 4 months ago
well i'm happy for you and i hope all the best for you , your girlfriend and your new life. ^^
Kegrad7 4 months ago
@Kegrad7 She's not my girlfriend yet, though I've asked twice already lol. But hopefully in the near future. Thanks!
icysparks2007 4 months ago
I honestly would not date a man who was a single parent only because I'm really not good at handling complicated situations like that, although I would probably love the child and his father.
On the other hand your situation is different and you seem to be giving this alot of consideration, so whatever you decide make sure it's what's best for you, her, and her child.
If you already think of her as your family though, then that attachment might drive your desicion anyways so GOOD LUCK!
ezshorty 4 months ago
@ezshorty Thanks!
icysparks2007 4 months ago
@icysparks2007
You're Very Welcome!! =D
ezshorty 4 months ago
This is one of those questions, where people give one answer, but then if they were actually in that situation they would do the exact opposite.
guysovereign 4 months ago
@guysovereign Yeah, it all depends on the situation.
icysparks2007 4 months ago
I've always wanted to know. What kind of Asian are you?
Hope this doesn't offend you.....
And I'm happy for you man, good luck with the girl , I hope she's good to you and you're good to her.
101paramoreluver 4 months ago
@101paramoreluver I am Taiwanese. You can call me Chinese too, but my parents, grandparents, and relatives were all born and raised in Taiwan so it doesn't make as much sense.
icysparks2007 4 months ago
@icysparks2007 LOL!!!!! it doesn't make sense but I get it . . . If that makes sense xD
101paramoreluver 4 months ago
Wow I thought you were talking about me for a minute. I am all those things! ;-P
jessicaaudate 4 months ago
@jessicaaudate Ahahaha
icysparks2007 4 months ago
Wow! Congratulations on being in love. I am so hoping this girl doesn't return to the guy. That's what I'm worried about as I listen to you. IF the guy has changed and if this is a long distance relationship, there might be tension and fear on your part that the girl will return to him because of their history and the child. I hope she's all you think she is. Take it from an old woman: Six months is not a relationship; it's a trial membership. So don't let fear make you commit too soon.
scifiwritir1 4 months ago
@scifiwritir1 Thanks for the advice. I am not worried that she will return to the guy.
icysparks2007 4 months ago
BTW how do your parents feel about this?
ShadowJ20 4 months ago
@ShadowJ20 So far, my parents have not expressed any personal concerns. They want to see if our relationship has the potential to develop first. My dad has offered to help me financially with meeting her, as I am a full-time optometry student at the moment.
icysparks2007 4 months ago
Good luck man. I'm Chinese and seeing your situation your going to have a difficult road ahead of you.
ShadowJ20 4 months ago