Evil Fortune Cookie

[shanbuffy]

i once got a fortune cookie that said you are "STUPID" it was just so freaking weird!!

[awsome332211]

wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[anonymosityKAnnie]

How'd you show us your fortune after you ripped it up?

;)

[whattheKT]

I got that exact same fortune one time. Complete bull

[sakuraixxuchurai]

they give us fortune cookies at school on asian day....and i got a blank fortune 2 times in a row. i was piiiiised >o<

[Eyewash03]

@sakuraixxuchurai No fortune in a fortune cookie is considered good luck! 

[sakuraixxuchurai]

@Eyewash03 thats awesome! =D

[livskeeet]

One time I got a fortune cookie that said "you are a successful man." IM A WOMAN

[gingerRogers2014]

Mine said "An alien of some kind will be visiting you soon." I automatically thought about Doctor Who...but it freaked me out a little.

[xXporkykidXx]

my fortune cookie said " A flat tree wil cause you to go to hospitol" i laughed and tried to rip it but i cut a nerve and went to da er

[TheResultsmayvery]

"buy the red car"...WTF IS THAT!!!

[honeyjo1901]

ive gotten a fortune cookie that was blank... i dont think that is a good sign... but other than that they r pretty positive for me

[toxicandris]

@honeyjo1901 you won't have a fortune... whahahahaaa

[HalloweensCoarpse]

all of my fortune cookies always say that sumthing good is going 2 EVENTUALLY happen.

[XXVanillaNinjaGirlXX]

is that the Atreyu 'A' in the background.... -3

[Buttify100]

One ofotun coocie said it will be a sunny day but ...it raind

[Mrstwilightno1fan]

I got a fortune cookie saying: I don't know what to say to you! You shall never know your future

[MichaelEppinetteTV]

@Mrstwilightno1fan thats too long...

[TheBoz1997]

WORST FORTUNE: u would do anything for love

NEW CHINESE WORD ON THE BACK: blow job.... i didnt know there was a chinese word for that !

[MichaelEppinetteTV]

@TheBoz1997 y cant there b?

[TheBoz1997]

@MichaelEppinetteTV there is ... lol

[doomheart86]

all of my fortunes:

you can make the best of a bad situation--they make diamonds out of coal

a kiss can beautify souls,hearts,and thoughts

it's more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others

be mischievous and you will not be lonsome

aviod taking unecessary gambles

be happy it's one way of being wise

you are what you do but not what you say

people who are late are often happier than those who have waiten for them

[pogo2242011]

the fortune means you try try to improve yourself and people notice it

[placeofout5]

My worst fortune cookie....was blank =/

haha

[j2dahayz]

how is that the forchten when in the video you ripped it

[gsofresh03]

wow you are so gay

[moonight199]

I got a fortune cookie that said "Dont like your fortune? Eat another cookie."

[a7xfan184]

i got one a few nights ago that said "when you're done changing, you're done." what does that mean

[TheBoz1997]

@a7xfan184 umm..

[BoiJohneh]

i laughed so hard when you grabbed ur drink

[CandyRocksGirl]

I got one that said "Ask your mom"

[annaisnotsocool]

perhaps it means that you always try to be a better person and everybody noticed it... (perhaps, I dont know)

[theNXFproject]

wait cant see my reaction (focus) :O

[ajaxthedog1]

My friends friend got a fortune cookie that said don,

[Ericajean420]

Dude i just got the same fortune cookie no joke im freakin serious it says "You constantly struggle for self improvement -and it shows" i was wondering can u tell me exactly wat that means cuz im lost

[IntricateSunset]

I had a fortune cookie that told me to eat oranges so I wouldn't get scurvy. :c

[seriously3shade]

I've got three thumbs so I can give this video three thumbs up.How many can you give this video?

[SuperRaeMe]

OMFG i seriously got that same exact fortune from a Fortune Cookie the last time i went to a chinese restaurant. Like I'm for real serious..

[AwesomeBlueClouds]

so my my fortune cookie said if you plan to fed squirrel prepare to be bitten

o_O

[limmy73]

The biggest bug I have ever seen was this giant grasshopper in Thailand. I swear it was the length of my runner (I wear a size 10 shoe).....

[michael9r9r]

i read one that said some one wil kiss you WTF

[pikachuoddie567]

when i had a fourtune cookie it said you have good parties....WTF

[AwesomeKitteh03]

I once got a fortune cookie that said " the flying monkey makes no candles" WHAT!!!!!

And guess what my sisters said " you try to be beautiful and it works" Again for the first one WHAT!!!!!!

[justinbeiberh8er]

i love pandas not the place the animal and toast and i don't want it to end j\k

funny stuff man

[sittingwolf69]

I once got a fortune cookie that said, "You are not illiterate."

Thanks for that boost of confidence! -_-

[hillbillyheidi]

I had a fortune that said, "you and your wife will be very happy in your lives together"... I'm a girl.

[MrSuperman522]

I had a random thing happen to me a person that tell the future and say I will win $500 and I did

[MissMarsArmy]

.. there's a panda on the cup! XD

kidding^^ u r funny ^^

[ModBeatnikGirl]

I like your videos, really funny, good timing, creative, etc but you sound kind of rehearsed and fake :/

[ModBeatnikGirl]

1:59-2:04 LOL

[FAKEmusicPRO]

i want to be a guy who writes fortune cookies so i can be a total jerk and say mean things haha

[menmychihuahua]

I hate chinese food because it makes me sick but my parents eat it and they always let me have the fortune cookies. My fortune cookies always say positive things like You will inherit a large sum of money..But you dont need self improvement!!

[myburittoisbetter]

i got a furtune cookie once that said death will aproach and then my guinypig died! :(

[pyhorse]

lol



[xNailsXBlackx]

:51 i love that part XD

[Kizzy10Luv]

I once got a fortune cookie that said "I'm in your closet"

Guess who's room I didn't sleep in.

[ryders75]

i got a fortune cookie saying "your kindness is going to help you" but im not kind cuz most ppl piss me off everyday O_o

[ryders75]

i got a fortune cookie saying "your kindness is going to help you" but im not kind cuz most ppl piss me off everyday O_o

[22lovelife44]

one time well like a week ago i went there and got a fortune cookie and it said one of your friends will did to be save from help

[Mlocke69]

"Buy more fortune cookies"

[132435423121]

"An attractive visitor is approaching your house."

[xlivelaughlauren]

haha thats a good thing.. its saying that your always working hard to make yourself a better person!

[MAJIKVEGGIE]

Take that

[jessbush4]

my best friends sister got a fortune that said "Help I'm stuck in a fortune cookie factory!"

[AQWhoog]

My 22 year old sister hates bugs... She is especially terrified of spiders... So I shoved one in her face, a fully grown Wolf Spider. She cried. I laughed. Also she once killed one that was about the size of a fruit fly because she was scared of it...

[sydneysarina]

mine said "the job is well done" and my friend added in bed... and lik all the chineese people were lik staring at us...

[LittleMissFreakOut]

Mine said "Screw this, I wanna go home!" -.-

...i'm not even kidding. -.-

[BluePantsMan]

Once i go a cookie that said U'll need another pair of blak pants... and another sed that ill be hungary again in 30 minites

[ZoeyPheobeShow]

my friends fortune cookie said "do not eat this cookie". no lie. but to late. she already ate it b4 she read the fortune

[OnyxGummybears101]

my fortune cookie said "you will come in contact with a group of aliens" and i was like W.T.F! and well...the next day...at walmart...in the parking lot.... i saw a group of mexicans....getting arrested...for being illegal aliens.... woooowww

[oxoXGeeXoxo]

@OnyxGummybears101 Seriosly? Ha! xD

[MLKnCookies621]

You are not a person who can be ignored (in bed).

[Souleaterisawesome]

Once we went to Florida and I forgot to take the trash out. In the trash was a banana peel and a few apple rinds. When we got back I opened it up and like a thousand fruit flies came out into my face. Oh my god it was gross XP

[gaskleronts]

my worst fortune cookie is : "You will experience very small success, especially in romace".

[bringafork]

wow... um dude

it just means that youre a hard worker...

FAIL.

[rubberduckyluver1]

My funniest one was when I got one with the lucky numbers: 4, 44, 444, 4444, and 1.

[KrazyChik5981]

lolz awesomeness!The worst fortune I ever got read, "You seem lost in your own world, so get your head out of the clouds and see the world for what it really is." I was so pissed off and I was like "Fuck that, I don't wanna see the world for what it really is. That's why I had my head in the cluds in the first place!" Genuine story. And I turned around and the woman who works at the counter was there and she said, "Don't talk bullshit, it's true. The cookie's real. You've got bad karma"

"Shit"

[sugargirl404]

The 'game' you're supposed to do with fortune cookies is add "..in bed" at the end of your fortune.

" You constantly struggle for self improvement, and it shows...in bed."

[chibilord18]

i bet no one realizes this but he ripped up the fortune cookie so how did he get it back? well their are two option's to this well the first one was just a fake and it actually did say that or it's fake well were goina just have to beleive him......for now

[hollysonesillygirl]

@chibilord18 lol, or he recorded himself ripping it up after he recorded everything else.

[chibilord18]

@hollysonesillygirl or it's all part of some evil plot to destroy the chinese

[hollysonesillygirl]

@chibilord18 maybe, just maybe that could be it. :P

[chibilord18]

@hollysonesillygirl i just hope they don't try do destroy japan i still need anime

[HolstnerKids]

worst furtune cookie GET A LIFE, LOOSER

[BlackFireEbeth]

I opened a fortune cookie once and it had no fortune in it! :'(

[KrazyChik5981]

@BlackFireEbeth If that happens to me I eat it :D  Don't worry :)

[oxsideswipexo]

cut your hair faggot u look like a fucking girl

[whenwediewegotohell]

@oxsideswipexo boygirls are sooo hot

[hollysonesillygirl]

once, when i was like seven. my fortune cookie said that i would find a beautiful woman to marry some day. as far as i know i'm straight..

[Brambleleaf178]

@hollysonesillygirl LMFAO xD

[TheSvartdemon]

@hollysonesillygirl FFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAGGOT

[flintp51]

@hollysonesillygirl just scratch out 'Wo.' You'll be alright. :)

[Kuddlekinz]

Once i got a fortune cookie and ther were two fortunes in it :)

[CountryGirl1xox]

your cute:)

[CrissAngelFan1219]

Mine said "you and your wife will be happy in your life together" and guess what? I'M A STRAIT GIRL!! yeah awkward I know!

[whichmakesmelikecool]

I once had a fortune cookie that said "Quick to promise, quick to forget." It sucked because it's true....

[Bexi324]

Stupidest fortune cookie

"You will recieve a fortune cookie" I was so pissed, like I already know this! It has happened, stupid fortune cookie is on lag! hahaha

[123apricotrox321]

One time I was cleaning my bag out at school, and at the bottom of my bag was a big BEETLE!! I started going crazy and whining, and I said "Someone get this out of my bagggg!" and my friend Jessica did and she acted like she was going to throw it at me,and when she was about to I FELL ON THE FLOOR because I was scared! xD

[sammi12795]

Lmbo Thats funny ^_^

[OmBoHe]

lol

[Briefler]

any fortune cookie is funny if you add "...in bed" to the end of it, and it totally works every time! Try it!

[freedom7717]

@Briefler hahaha can't wait to try that one, thanks!

[ilovenerds58]

I once got a fortune ccokie thats said," whan you laugh, people leave the room"

Then i laughed.

[xirec1st]

i once found a fourtune cookie that said "you will step in dog poo" i threw the paper away and walked outside... I STEPPED IN DOG POO!!

[daddyslilhan]

WTF!!! No Offense Buh First Yhu Ripp The Fortrune Cookie Paper Then Yhu Magicaly Putt It Back Together Perfectly?????WOW

[fatcat17K]

the funneyst moment with my friend was that we were playing a game and ended up staying up all night playing it so my parents ask what we did and we said we woke up early.

[CarissaMayful]

THE BEST IS : ahhh!! HELP IM TRAPPED IN A CHINEESE BAKED GOOD!!

[spongeandy]

ok it isnt a funny fortune cookie I got...but my friend was over and she said that she wants a fortune cookie that had all of life's questions answered inside...and when she opened the cookie there was nothing in it..no joke. Then she was like: "That's so depressing!"

[whyRUsoBLK]

yea... you ripping up that fortune while eating at the table, and then mysteriously putting it back together, peice by peice... sounds pretty... real?

[daddyslilhan]

@whyRUsoBLK I Kno Huh

[vesperus1981]

Stop carrying yourself as a girl does.

[bos3eed1]

i don't believe in what fortune cookies say, im not stupid

[pkmnandcpmaster]

ounce i got a fortune cookie and i couldnt wait but this is what it said:

you will never get a job un til your 69!

im not lieing!

[ProjectRedfoot]

i got a fortune that just said, "an empty stomach is not a good political advisor"

i think it was a communism joke.

i made a cartoon out of it, the guy reading it says, "great. thanks, i'll hang on to this. the rats in my studio apartment might need something to wipe their ass with."

[waffleandchicken]

worst fortune : "the pregnancy test failed"

[gaskleronts]

@waffleandchicken lol

[xXrunneRRunnerXx]

worste fortune cookie ever: you will watch a pointless video about a fortune cookie today. D':

[tessamarque1993]

My favorite is: boats and water are in your future.

[mariwon37]

worst fortune cookie: if this cookie is still in one piece then go but the lotto. I got so mad

[chanelbaby10]

ew hes so ugly!

[beer7786]

@chanelbaby10 look in the miror

[chanelbaby10]

at least i dont look like you.

[whitetigerpals]

My fortune cookies are always like "You will soon be rich." and I think to myself, "I don't want to be rich." and it just makes me upset. gr.

[tessamarque1993]

Murphy is just like my beagle buzz.

[Dahunted128]

The handing waving is hypnotic

[voicetube]

It's nice to find a fun, honest channel out here in (sometimes) cynic-land!  You just keep doin' what you're doing - have fun, share that fun and folks will (and just lookin at the RATIO of thumbs up to down, you can see that people certainly) like you!

[2MuzicLuv3r2]

Haha i got a fortune cookie that said "A can of worms wont open itself" i was like wtf?

[voicetube]

@2MuzicLuv3r2 Hmmm, I actually like that one! What it means to me is that, when one has a potentially bad situation that MIGHT happen, many many times it doesn't present itself until the "victim" opens that "can of worms" in the first place - good lesson!

[KaylaQuinnV]

My friend got a fortune cookie and it called her two-faced xD

[karisyaxoxo]

I never had a fortune cookie before -,-

[MrTank116]

worst fortune cookie ever... "the fortune you seek is in another cookie"

[voicetube]

@MrTank116 LOL!!

[Ch0c0lat3Fact0ry2009]

Best fortune cookie fortune,"If you like this cookie, smile"

[WaterLily331]

Yeah, that's not evil. It means you're always getting better. It's just... cryptically commnunicated.

Although I guess you caould say that it means you're trying too hard.

Your choice.

[TheLeanBeast]

I got one that said "You deserve a sweet treat" so I ate the cookie, hahah.

[daynuhhhhhh1]

so i got one that said...

"A friends advice is invaluable".

THANKS PANDA EXPRESS<3

ps, i love you.

[TheOnlyLuca]

you're funny. the forturne cookie is not

[ashlayton]

"do not kiss an elephant on the mouth today"

[thekiwiqueen]

lol mine said your'll die in two weeks but on the last day your find your true love

[RainbowJudeSuxxx]

@thekiwiqueen OMG AHAHAHHAHAH poor u xD

[bruzzmusic]

i had one that says "you're either going to fly or ruin a family's picnic"

[eostre1000]

I constantly struggle for self improvement - and it shows

[snowicedragon]

I got one that said "Silence is a virtual. Especially dinnertime, from telemarketers."

I still have it because that's the funniest one I've ever gotten XD

[imaoddballtehe]

i got a blank fortune cookie

[jojay2464]

we went on a field trip and we went to china buffet and my friend dawson got a fortune cookie and it said "you need anger managment." and then me SCREAMS " I DO NOT NEED ANGER MANAGMENT!!!!!" i laughed sooo hard!!!! everyone was lookin at him..... :) <3

[cat0002]

I had one that said "buy the red car"

[Snelfie1]

One of my fortune cookies said "I like you mom"

I am not messing

[thisbeabby]

My brother once got a fortune cookie from Panda Express and it said "Something usuall will happen to you!" it was super really hilarious(:

[CutYourHairLessThan3]

My mom found a big bug in her bathroom. She took the bug spray and swatted the bug with the can.

SWATTED. not SPRAYED.

-_-

[remixracer1]

@CutYourHairLessThan3 why didn't she spray it she's stupid

[libzmeetv]

@CutYourHairLessThan3 There was a spider on my ceiling so I stood on my bed and sprayed it with hairspray until it fell. AND I SCREAMED!!! Lol

[IceManUniverse]

does any one knw what kinda camera videos like this use???

[y0b0t]

one time i got a fortune cookie that read "there are treasures behind u" so then i turned around jokingly and found 54 dollas! XD

[CarinaCorn]

He looks like a young Ringo Starr

[ThisUsernamePwnsBTW]

youtubewin . tk is where you can win awesome free stuff just by surfing YouTube!

[tucktracks]

one time i opened a fortune cookie and it said 'im coming for your soul"

[chinchila501]

one of my fortune cookies said "i have a dream... time to go to bed" im dead seriouse

[scrapper123456]

type in youwintube . com nospace

[activegirl02]

It's a fake!! The fortune is fake!!

Fortune cookie fortunes have heaps of numbers on the back, there were no numbers on the back. The paper wasn't creased, fortunes are creased. There writing wasn't in balck and it wasn't bold

[epicfail10362]

I sometimes forget there's a paper

[sasorixdeidara33]

haha i wont trust fortune cookies ever again! XDD

[tomboySDC]

Ha I luv this dude EPIC! You speak the truth fortune cookies are evil! :)

[katiejoyxoxo]

IF I HAD A THOUSAND POPTARTS, I WOULD FORCE FEED THEM ALL TO YOU AT THE SAME TIME TILL YOU CHOKED AND DIED.

i swear that ad will drive me insane.

[heresxmeagan]

my mom legit got one that said, "you will meet a handsome stranger online"

[SexyNeverLeftBitches]

You know whats fun to do to this video?!?! Mute it, and watch all the funny hand movements he makes XD

[blackheart462]

love it glad i checked this video out!!!

[cjalaska1]

well....its bad luck to rip up a fortune cookie....i would think adleast....it should be though :O if its not.