Added: 5 years ago
From: Climbatize
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  • finally!!! A man who gets us women!!! I knew it wasn't that difficult.

  • he forgot to say and 'to go'.

  • I just don't know how he takes a simple reality, and nearly makes one "Piss ones pants" This guy is very very cleaver; As an amateur comedian myself, Naughty Norman UT, I admire and worship him.

  • he is so right. ima lady and i fucking agree with him lol.

  • He always cracks up laughing at his own jokes

  • My favourite part is right at the end :3

  • lmao

    dat derisory laughter xD

  • the more they demand the less we want to touch their pussy. they are ultimately hurting themselves.

  • @topperheartramada Or, we're tactically blue-balling men ;)

  • hahaha he knows womans :)

  • He speaks the truth.

  • Classic Bill...i remember when I first saw this in the early 90s and it had me floored! Lol

  • The title to this video is missing an apostrophe.

  • Starting at 1:35, it sounds about exactly like the list of demands Occupy Wall Street posted today. Shame, because there are plenty of criminals on Wall Street -- the codswallop this lot is peddling merely gives them cover; any legitimate critique will be tarred by association.

  • "i tell you when to stop!" HAHAHAAAAHA!!!!

  • @7mikethebike and here we have an internet troll....spreading nothing but negativity and doing FUCK ALL good for itself or anyone else. :)

  • @7mikethebike You must have the comedic tastes of a small piece of cheese.

  • What's a clitoris.....I'm HUGELY confused???

  • @steveh777ify HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

  • Ive got my wetsuit and divers helmet handy for future reference!

  • i couldn't laugh... not because he isn't funny, because he is, but because he's right.

  • "YOU SEE, IT'S NOT EASY BEING A MAN!!" XD I just love how he says it

  • "... So fucking stay awake." LOL

  • some of these comments from a year ago are quite scary. I believe for ANY 'successful' person to reach their heights they must depend on their partners faith in their abilities. women only want more because as little girls their dream was to marry their 'prince' who would give them the earth. I blame the fairy tales :) oh and the materialistic world we live in ...keeping up with the Jones's...a true man will give his wife the moon just to see her smile.It's called LOVE.

  • ok all you women out there let's reveal it all now . The G Spot is FAKE. If i was to get a ' thumbs up ' reaction from all of the women who have faked it, it would be in the millions lol. 

  • @paulinesmith44 Pauline. I thought the G spot was some mythical secret sex button. Well after many years (and a few relationships) I have discovered it most definately does exist. Without getting too graphic - suggest you look up G spot 'techniques' on t'internet (maybe even on YT?). With the right caring partner and an open mind much pleasure can be had. But like most things in love making you gotta relax and let things happen. Don't expect instant results.. Have fun trying. (grateful male..)

  • "I want it yesterday!" i think i just popped a blood vessel

  • Every man's favourite clip from the Big Yin. Do you want to know where the G-SPOT is lads? Ok guys.............it's called the BANK !!! (I was trying to be funny girls, no hate mail please)

  • @MrNzzo hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

  • @jingarnold Cheers mate, I have great respect for women but I've met some real greedy bitches who's only real loves are their own reflections and cash, so my gag is meant for them.

  • G Spot thats 50 cent's band isn't it.

  • @cakesofdeath

    For God's sake, please thumb this up. Good stuff.

  • ALL women have a G-spot. A patient male or female lover can find this "spot" with some good communicaton during sex and open the flood gates to new and exciting experiences. Men~~be patient...u find her g-spot, she will want to be intimate with you more than once or twice a week. Use the head on ur shoulders...not the one between ur groin. Best of luck!

  • @norm7081 exactly. I find the worst men in bed are the ones who show you what a big dick they have. Bah. I betcha Prince has a tiny dick, I mean, the man is only 5'2". That's fine, he doesn't need one at all, I can betcha that much.

  • "...And the demands will all be changed then, so fucking stay awake!" No truer words spoken

  • this got funnier and funnier. XXX

  • You got that right !!!! Silly friend, you. xx

  • I don't think I've heard anyone put it more simply than that. Woman, like any other group, have taken their freedoms and abused them. Seems now a days a man can't get married with out the protection of a legal agreement before hand. Too many children have their choice of who to call daddy, and it seems like a right of passage for any woman to make babies b4 even leaving home. The results on a national scale are mind numbing. No wonder our country just can't keep up with its peoples needs.

  • I don't think I've heard anyone put it more simply than that. Woman, like any other group, have taken their freedoms and abused them. Seems now a days a man can't get married with out the protection of a legal agreement before hand. Too many children have their choice of who to call daddy, and it seems like a right of passage for any woman to make babies b4 even leaving home.  The results on a national scale are mind numbing. No wonder our country just can't keep up.

  • 26 feminists saw this video :)

  • Oh gosh this is funny!!!

  • 26 people have no sense of humour!! lol

  • @AndyyParker I figured some people would dislike this, because it comes off as sexist. But for those with a sense of humor, how much are you willing to bet that half the people who posted a comment of how much they enjoy this can actually relate to what he's saying? That's part of what makes this kind of comedy hilarious because people can relate to the scenarios being told to them.

  • He's right, women are insane

  • @fredriknorand Ha ha, he could be right :-) I'm female but I think his sense of humour tells us more about human nature than anything :-) :-)

  • Briiiillllllliiiiiaaantttttttt­!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D

  • I feel somewhat sorry for my ex-boyfriend now XD

  • @BethGoth15

    haha

  • @BethGoth15 With a name like BethGoth so do I

  • @BethGoth15 I kid, I kid dun worry

  • @BethGoth15 Men, this is a momentous occasion. BethGoth has been reached.

    The wheel is now turning. The word shall spread.

    AUDREY, START THE REVOLUTION!!

  • hahahahahahaha im a girl and i almost peed my pants laughing because its alllll true!!!!

  • The G-spot is not hard to find at all. Insert fingers palm up and do the 'come here' motion.

  • kinda looks like a scottish John Cleese

  • @vinni40k actually, i mistook him for john cleese with a wig the first time i saw him

  • well now I know where Carlos Mencia stole this from

  • I want this and that. We demand a share of that, less of that and more of this and fucking plenty of this and we want it now. And the demands will probably be changed so stay awake. lol

  • PLEASE THUMB THIS UP IF YOU AGREE, Lets have a petition to have billy connolly in the next years i'm a celebrity get me out of here, lets have this highest rated comment on each of his video's so we can get him in there, copy this comment and paste it on all his video's..... we want him in the jungle... he's bound to make it amazing!!!

  • Theres no such thing as the G-spot...its just a tease to make the men work harder lol...and even upon knowing this i still pretend to look for it...well i can say that even tho you dont find anything the trip shouldnt be bad ;)

  • Wet suit and a divers helmet,think I will buy my husband both for christmas....

  • Where can I buy a G-Spot? :p

  • @HeroInHelp

    Amazon had some in last I checked. They had 10 at £7.95 new and 15 at £6.45 used.

  • not everyone's cuppa tea, but here's one for the boys!

  • I want plenty of that and more of this...absolutely love it!

  • Guys, you should be able to FEEL the g-spot. Like with your fingers, it'll be up a few inches and it feels slightly diffrent. :)

  • I can't even find the G-spot and I'm a WOMAN!!!

  • @GhostWritersDragon I'll find it for ya. ;-D LOL

  • @GhostWritersDragon You need to employ the services of an expert G-spot locator. Fortunately today I'm offering a one off special, and if you call within the next 15 minutes I will do a friend of your's for free.

  • @GhostWritersDragon can I try?, lol

  • hehe i love him im a chick and he is spot on with the demands. and you know guys would know where the g spot was if us women would give them some hints, poor dudes cant find there way around a town with out directions same applys if you wanna be pleased.

  • comments are why youtube sucks

  • Turn about is fair play!

  • Once, I had a Femme-Nazi demand that I give her 9 inches and make it hurt.

    So I gave it to her 3 times & slapped the hell out of her!

    You know how it is... I'm just good like that.

  • @Chuichupachichi That is so fucking funny lol.

  • all women know where there g-spot is .all guys have to do is put 2 fingers in to the pussy and they will find it . i know where mine is

  • Pure win

  • HA HA HA!!!!! He's Awesome And HES RIGHT!!!! I should know .....I'm a WOMEN!!!!!

    NEVER FAILS To make me LAUGH and Boy....Do We ALL NEED a Damn LAUGH These Days??!!! Lol Fantastic!!!

  • Brilliant

  • We want this! And that! We demand a share in that, and most of that, some of this, and fucking all of that! Less of that, and more of this, and fucking plenty of this! 'nother thing! We want it now. I want it yesterday, I want fucking more tomorrow. And the demands will all be changed then, so fucking stay awake!

  • "and in search of the g spot..i dont think you can find that with a fuckin wet suit and a divers helmet" XD

  • lmfao!

  • can't believe he's not John Cleese's brother

  • I like Bill Hicks more...

  • that Dirisury? laughter? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  • Brilliant Billy at his best.

  • The woman says "DO THINGS TO ME!"

    I WILL, if you LET ME!

    I WISH I was in a situation where a lady wanted me to give her multiple orgasms.

    Bill, stop complaining, or let me fill in when you're with your wife! :D

  • Call me...

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  • i prefer George Carlin and bill hicks, but this guy also rocks!

  • Excellent-anyone who is offended needs to wise up and get a sense of humour! Bill is a legend!

  • The problem with men is - they cannot find the g-spot - or the clit! :-) funny sketch though,

  • If some men are that inept they can't find the clit they shouldn't be allowed down there in the first place. The G-spot well, that's an entirely different animal... it's behind the belly button isn't it? :p

  • @Climbatize Every man needs a good woman to tell them what they like - and 'where' things are ;-) Thank GOD for all the women who showed me when I was young. Every woman is different, so are men - it's a case of ask and do, tell and receive :-)

  • @Climbatize No shit, regarding the G-spot-- Women just found it THEMSELVES after what, 100.000 years of BEING HUMAN? I can guarantee you men are not going to suddenly find any new mystery-erogenous zones on their own bodies.

  • @Climbatize dont be silly..its in the cupbourd over the cooker!!

  • @paddy6062 epic lol.

  • @Climbatize

    No, the G-spot is not behind the belly button. If you insert your fingers (slightly bent) into the vagina you will feel ridges along the top of opening (it is sometimes described as feeling like a walnut texture). You can also press lightly on top of the pubic mound to bring the wall into closer contact while you are stimulating this area.

  • @Rayuka1 Did you copy and paste that? lol

  • @kilted06yass No, it's a topic that I've been very interested in lately. :)

  • @Rayuka1 Oh thats discusting.. did you have to explain on here, ffs, kids come on here!

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  • @Climbatize, its more commonly called the wallet!

  • @Climbatize

    Its not us guys who are interested in the clit or the g-spot! Its the women who make big deal out of it!

    We just want to bang & shoot! Just women being control freaks!

  • @Climbatize ctrl alt G on a Mac :-)

  • @Climbatize in and up about a middle finger length ;)

  • @Climbatize

    not quite but you're close

    not actually as hard to find as most men (or women for that matter) think

    first and second finger up to the hilt, lift up and make like you're calling someone over to you

    you'll know when you find it

  • @z3r0t0l3r4ns

    I can't work out whether you're actually serious or just pulling my leg. Well played ;)

  • @NatGrays It seems you don't know the right men!

  • @NatGrays Rather Sexist observation. U been looking in all the wrong places luv . . . therefore . . . to you . . . i recommend sex with someone you really luv . . . yourself . . . masturbation . . . that way YOU'LL hit the spot everytime.

  • @NatGrays \

    obviously ...clever you are not

    neither romantic or even pragmatic

    you got a long way to go BOY

  • @NatGrays Most men think it´s a myth...

  • @NatGrays Its not a problem to us because the secret is.. We don't care :D

  • @NatGrays are u a woman? Explain please how to find it ;)

  • @NatGrays the problem with women is that they don't give a sh1t for a man's pleasure. so give me a reason why i should be bothered?

  • @Kinezos301 I would care about the happiness and pleasure of any man I was with. It's good manners if nothing else :-)

  • @NatGrays come over to my house and ill change your mind on that  lol. joking, sorta

  • @NatGrays

    I feel sorry for you...what kind of guys have you been sleeping with? Lol! A real man can find any spot ;o)

  • @NatGrays same thing it turns out

  • @NatGrays

    Come on over baby, I'll sort you out.

  • oh wow he is very true lol

  • I'm a guy, and i believe the sexes to be totally equal, they are also very different, and i live life with that view. Im not bothered by anyone saying they want equality, but so very few people, if any, stop when they gain equality.

  • @chris11sholtz

    So true words in my ears... :-)

  • haha

  • Fuk sake people are a joke, moaning about anything they can !

  • Lol

  • He is speaking the truth. their laughing....but men are angry now!

  • Amen!

  • anyone offended by this is an idiot

  • you are a cock sucker yeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • hahaha, nah, thats your dad. Go back to shagging sheep you Kiwi poof.

  • TEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHE­ talk che

  • Yes, but i personally dont think that one sex is superior to the other - both are equally important - both have alot to offer, both are equally as intelligent and capable - no one sex is better than the other at all in any way shape or form - we are simply all human beings just trying to get through life as best we can - man, woman, boy girl - what matters is we have more pressing issues and conerns - like global warming if we dont address that then we wont be around to argue about anything !

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  • and behind every strong woman is her dad ;) lol gotta luv ye ladies cos at the end of the day ye do know you's rule the world ;)

  • yo, why so many thumbs down on stevensonjames26? go watch it, it's actually pretty funny for the guys first shot at stand up likes.. cynical fucks! or mebbe it's just 'cos he's linked it on here + is up against the BIG YIN?

  • Can you tell me when women had control over men?

    Plus History is written by men, not women.

    Since there has been any form of control, men had it, not women.

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  • that's a shame

  • It would depend on what you're calling power/control. If you were counting Presidents or Prime ministers, ie in charge of the country then Margaret Thatcher.

  • There are a handful of societies where women are the leaders. It is no surprise they have no written language and are still locked in the stone age.

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  • Really Luckyvet? on what evidence do you base your statement ? I would be most interested to know - I mean you must have found some pretty substantial evidence to back up your conclusion to this theory ? Pray do tell - i am sure we would all like to hear what you have to say

  • No theory, only facts.

    1 is a tribe in Indonesia (got it from a feminist website) the other is in a remote area of China.

    Google 'current' Matriarchal societies and you'll find the same thing consistent with them all.

    Another example of a matriarchal society is most of Africa. Without intervention, they would have never evolved from the stone age.

    Fact: Patrarchy = longer childhood, children with higher IQ's, more life success.

    90% of our inmates are from single mother homes.

  • ummm having studied the Social Sciences at Uni - sorry that fact re Patarchy - not true - sorry its not, and yes, i can back up what i say with actual hard fact - and that other figure about inmates - again not correct - and yes again can back it up- what are your sources , mine are university text books

  • Social sciences in University = witchhunt against men, backed by a lesbian doctrine to make all women think they're victims of oppression.

    Facts: Common man couldn't vote just a few years prior to women.

    The oppression they teach is based on their emotionally dysfunctional warped view of the normal harmonious interaction between men & women.

    Therefore: University text books, published by companies owned by the Rothshilds (I'm miles ahead darling) who are feminist supporters.

  • no, fella your waaaaaaaaay behind. My father has his doctoriate in this field and i used his text books amongst others and he is not a woman you prat !!

  • No name calling please. I have your father owned 10 times over. Self made multimillionaire before 30, looking at you, your dad, your profs from 1 mile up.

    Its a gigantic puzzle, you've been duped by a ruling elite.

  • this is not about money who the hell mentioned money ???? dont care how much money you havet it obviously has not made you a happy individual - ruling elite ? you seem to think that your part of that from your statement above - after all, if not, then why mention it ? You seem to have the need to tell me how much your worth - and that speaks volumes

  • Relax little sister. All this 'fighting' and 'contempt' is exactly what they want.

    "Government issues policy that keeps men, women, & races divided, while it expands its power whenever & wherever it can." - George Carlin.

  • Feminism: Funded by the CIA & The Rockafellers for 2 reasons:

    A. To get women in the work force

    B. To get children into day care / school early to indoctrinated them into mindless corporate worker drones who look to big gov't for solutions.

    Today, the protector/provider alpha male has been replaced by police/nanny state.

    All about divide/conquer tactics to keep you & I fighting while they expand their power.

  • Like to see my hubby trying to control me lol! Exactly what century are you from 555?? Women have always had subtle control over men. they just didn't realise it :)

  • Behind every man is a strong woman :)

  • Another pathetic attempt to feed off of men's success by a woman.

    If a man achieves something, women try to claim it as theirs by either saying he has a strong woman behind him, or he's in touch with his feminine side.

    Women just cannot give men full credit for anything without trying to leech off their achievements, it's really quite pathetic.

    I bet you'd be offended if a woman cured cancer and it was suggested that she had a strong man behind her or she was in touch with her masculine side.

  • i agree you said exactly what ive been trying to find the words for for months lol

  • What a load of bollocks "Game" !!! Women do not feed of mens success by saying any of what you state here. or indeed vice-versa If a person is successful then they are , but that could be because they have a strong support network made up of both sexes behind them- what about that, ? is that leeching as you put it ? Your view of the world is an odd one to say the least - I have not come across this attitude -anywhere, what in ill-informed comment to make. Each of us is as important regardless

  • 9/10 women marry up (intellectually/financially) for feelings of safety / Security, especially during child bearing years. If it hurts, blame nature.

  • Again in todays society not eaxctly correct ( and yes i do know what i am talking about) , but you havent answered my question - On what evidence do you back up your statement that in societies where women are leaders that there is no written language and are still locked in the stoneage

  • I never said both genders weren't equally important, you seem to have misread what I said.

    I said women do not give men credit for their achievements, I was having a go at the moron who said that behind every great man was a strong woman, I call bullshit on that, a great man is a great man regardless of what woman has her claws sunk into him, she is not what makes him great, being great is what makes him great.

  • you did, . you said that" women cant give men credit for anything without trying to leech of their acheivements its pathetic" plus thereby insinuating that one sex was trying to appear superior to the other by "leeching" Also that saying "Behind every great man is a strong woman" did it ever occur to you that perhaps it could mean that the two work as a team ? whoever is behind who was a support - the saying is open to interpretation - and no one is right.or wrong

  • I never said both genders weren't equally important, you seem to have misread what I said, AGAIN.

    No, it's nothing to do with partnership, it's a simple tactic used by women to claim some sort of credit for men's positive achievements, that's why you never hear "He's in touch with his feminine side" or "He has a strong woman behind him" when he's done something negative, only when it's positive, it's the classic leech mentality.

  • no i have not misread what you have said - your wording may be off , but it really reads as if your doing down one sex over the other - making out that the man is the downtrodden little mouse and the woman is the big evil cat !!! re read what you have said - or re phrase it, as your coming across as doing down one sex over the other you have sad it again here "a tatic fro woman to claim some sort of credit for mens positive achievments" - i find your views sexist - and ill informed - grow up.

  • "re read what you have said - or re phrase it"

    So translate what I say into anything you want? I believe it is you should grow up.

    You have twisted my words from minute one, I am very clear in what I say, and I do not mean all women, I simply mean the ones who say "In touch with their feminine side" or "A strong woman behind him", it's pitiful at best, as are your attempts at shaming me into silence by saying I'm sexist, I'm not, I'm a realist, deal with it.

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  • Like you say, you have been clear in what you say, so far from twisting your words, i have simply read them and then expressed my opinion - which if you dont like is hardly my fault. You say your are not sexist - well, most would think your comments extremely sexist, and I am not trying to shame you into scilence - but if you feel that way, then it would seem that i have rather hit the nail on the head. As for being a realist -no, your not, I have never come across the attitudes you describe

  • I don't feel ashamed, you're attempts are too pathetic for that.

    Calling me sexist is the classic shaming tactic whenever anything slightly negative is said about women, not the first time it's been done, won't be the last, because people like yourself tend to take the easy road, and it's a lot easier to accuse people of having problems so as to change the subject, than it is to face facts.

  • If you say so - LOL I am, a little to long in the tooth to care, besides i thought that we were just having a simple and lively discussion - however, I dont know where on earth you get the idea that I am trying to shame you as you put it - its you that seems to keep harping on about it - and i am not accusing you of having problems - you are the one who mentioned that - not myself and its nothing to do with this topic of conversation -especially as , this disccussion is not about you,