Getting To Know Apostle Ep: 8 Depression and Self Confidence

[TwiS73DShad0wZ]

You people that disliked, whats wrong with you?! I bet you couldn't tell a few thousand people how you felt if you had depression

[TheCharlieowns]

im going through tha same except i got arrested nd every time i do any thing i feel like ima fuck up or cant do it right nd ppl always tlked shit about me then i jst said o well im going to do wat i wanna do and not care wat any one says nd somtimes ill get really pissed off at the game bcuz of it

[DevotionUKGN]

Been watching your videos all the time now :D! and i really love knowing what you really have to say

[Motorboatsnooki]

Story of my fucking life, except i havent got the same will power as you to say i dont care.

[pjkinobi]

Man your like my twin! My girl chose my own cousin who was also my best friend at the time. It sounds like self confidence really is the key to dealing with depression though. I am a man of faith so I try to seek help from Jesus. When I remind myself that Jesus wants all the best for me and is by my side it lifts my spirits. I guess I can say that knowing He desires for me to be a stronger person through him helps me seek a stronger self.

[DrBugProductions]

@pjkinobi Jesus hates you.

[FattMatt0316]

When I see or hear thing like this I have mixed feelings. I feel bad for the people that are going through it, but it also makes me feel less shitty knowing Im not the only person going through this.

[bamsennett]

you described me perfectly, except for the last bit.

[hdmiseryi]

what if im the same way??

[SAB3RZHD]

damn man i couldnt imagine feeling like this apostle, shit man, if u need help with anything inbox me - S A B 3 R Z

[NCHMasterKilla]

Hey sorry for trolling u online last night, i didn't know u were having it rough, i know how it feels, i'm goin thru the same deal as you man, i apologize for being a douche last night, its ii pro kwmaster, ill stop trolling u, maybe ill try to keep joining but i won't like troll anymore and i do feel bad that your goin thru hell bro, hope you feel better soon!!!!

[TheSjsharks408]

nice story bro :) and i tottallyyy get you with the whole girl and your bestfriend thing cuz im going thru it right now and i have no fucking idea on what to do !? but keep up the good videos :]

[bren602x]

thats kinda like what ive went thro honestly Apostle i really look up too yuh :D

[MtTxPredator]

i swear its like i know aposte like i am his best friend from these commentaries

[SupercoolerDj]

Hey Apostle I have the same situation at the moment really bad....but hey the Life goes on and keep your head up.When the bad Time has a End the good begins ;D

[M107Nation]

I'll be your girlfriend :)

[OfficialDominator]

It's alright apostle. you let it out.

[Franciscoxds]

I admire u

[nicho824]

You deserve more subscribers. Thumbs up for opening up to such a large group, truthfully the whole world.

[CODKenny1]

Yup. All those feelings are normal and its awesome that you opened up to such a large group of people.

[xmatt931x]

Cool story bro.

[999mizta999]

dont u always say ur best friend was predator =O

[XSmartScopeX]

Why in your last commentaries you dont sound so happy as others?

[matthewdichigo]

what happened if ur gameplay was affected by ur emotions

mad - get hella killstreaks

sad - camp and die

orgasm - rape the entire game

[naru150]

How does a girl choose another guy over Apostle's sexy face? <3

[WeCDySfUnCtIoN]

Bro i know exactly how you feel it reminds me of myself I have felt depressed too over girls that you fall hard for, cause it never seems to work out for me, your whole life seems so close to similar with mine its crazy.. im glad you put up this commentary bro thanks i feel better about it now

[2010derf]

Thumbs up for Aposlte!. (:

[JuggaloJayDee]

Try 5 years of depression bro.

[EtchedSketch]

@JuggaloJayDee having juggalo and jay dee next to each other makes me want to throw up

[JuggaloJayDee]

@EtchedSketch grow up. Talk more shit online bro.

[RawTheater]

Apostle you have no idea how inspiring this commentary was to me i really hope you talk more about this <3

[LukexThexDukex3rd]

@FaZeClans he is BI- Winning

[DaRkJ4ck]

Man... I'm happy that I was never depressed before in my 16 years..

And, 8:25 thats what I do since I was born ^^

And, If you think I had it easy at school.. I was always the smallest.

Saying that, I don't mean just the smallest. I'm 3 years behind in growth.

Even now. But really, I don't give a SHIT about almost ANYTHING. And if you think I'm joking, damn ur fucking wrong xD

And, I love my lifestyle (:

[Jadenh87]

i think apostle is a viiiirgin lol

[Zrowable]

dont forcce stuff like trying to get in a long relationship or force a relationship it just happens xD its like a burp try and force it and your going to throw up lol

but im guessing u already know this

[OriginalKyleHD]

I was diagnosed with ADD and Depression 2 days ago. I'm taking small amounts of Prozac for a little while(until I feel better)and Adderall likely for a long time. I'm gonna start taking them today. They gave me capsules instead of tablets at CVS lol. I know where you're coming from man.

-Kyle

[GV1RUS]

symbalta can help

[Apostleog]

@FaZeClans now going back and looking at it i did kinda describe it kinda bipolarish. Im pretty positive that im not bipolar mostly because ive know multiple people that are bipolar. Its too long to try to describe why not in a comment but id just thought id let you know :P

[14kieranN]

dude i know what you mean

[IAzvionI]

some solid shit

[richierichrach12]

all the same for me acept i havent had any so called flings let alone a fuking relationship im a complete failllllllll when it comes to being confident esecially with girls you have no idea lol as long as you lot have had even abit of attention from them well your doing better than me already

[TheFrizzlezZ]

Its called weed it'll help u out :)

[nower3008]

@FaZeClans depression isn't enough to diagnose someone as being bipolar. there are many other symptoms that he'd have to have to be diagnosed as bipolar.

[xImCLiipzZ]

Does Pred have a girl?lol

[xTrizHD]

Same type thing happened to me. Great commentary Apostle :)

[F5ETigerrr]

i dont get why your views keep going down apostle your easy to relate with your storys are entertaining and your not a stuck up money maker you do this for the righ treasons

[KrunchyBread]

Your Fucking Life Story..., Tell Me More.

[enjoiiiThis]

i feel ya apostle i never went into depression though i was still going what you went through

[DeckedCards]

I have a longer story but i would like to thank you. Its good to know im not the only one. Together we all can be happy!

[DeckedCards]

My life is exactly like yours. When i was 11 my best friends [a girl] Fathers committed suicide our group of friends were devastated. I like her since the beginning of 5th grade and still have feelings for her. She was amazing. I would always talk to her. Me and my group of friends were exactly like your. My 2 best friends also liked her. She choose the other guy of course. After that i was very deppressed almost comitted suicide. I then dated someone else. then dumped her when i left 5th grade.

[inuyasha0xpk]

You guys are stupid. You are obviously all scared to speak to a girl and like to act like your lives are so bad

[inuyasha0xpk]

@IAzvionI It's ignorant for you to see my opinion as ignorant. I'm simply stating the realization of the facts before me.

[inuyasha0xpk]

@IAzvionI Actually you don't know what i have been through, and many other people have been through way worse. but you don't see them crying about it to everyone and trying to kill themselves lmfao. Life sucks, Deal with it son

[inuyasha0xpk]

@IAzvionI Truth hurts son

[inuyasha0xpk]

Funny thing is, you guys act like you have such a bad life so you sit and cry about it, pussy. shut the fuck up, grow the fuck up and get over it son

[DEMONTH31F]

@inuyasha0xpk Depression isn't something to make fun off. Theres people here who are depressed so you call them names? Show some respect.

[RpZzTaLeNtZz]

@DEMONTH31F yer depression is an illness that has to be treated like if u break your leg but the depression i know of is generally more serious but i know what u mean :P

[MOTIONxGAMINGx]

I know exactly how you feel, I used to be a depressed child, I am 14 now, I was 13 at the time, I just felt like I couldn't talk to anyone, it seemed that know one cared, but I talked to my parents, I got counselling of the doctors, and that made it all better. It's true what he says, if you tell your friends or family about this, this can make it all better. And if your watching this thinking your in the same position, make sure you tell someone and get it of your chest. So stop hating.

[EtchedSketch]

individualizing your music taste is a pretty cool thing to do... everyone knows the same shitty songs on the radio, but you can really meet some cool people and make connections through having more diverse music

[RafoRamify]

I know how it feels, same thing happened with me, i reaaaally liked this girl and she led me on then went out with my closest friend.. he acted like a douche and i got a new friends after i realized who was my real friends

[CTSDARKNESS1]

Loved how girls were so full of themselves back in high school, now a days just go to the bars and theyre easy as pie

[DrOpPsHoTtEd]

that takes alot of balls!

Mad respect

[IceBarragex]

talking it out is really good. I was the same too. talking to girls about this sorta issue is far more comforting than talking to boys about this issue because girls share EVERYTHING to anyone. well pretty much..

[iLankzv2]

@Megafuckified - Yes get over it, we've all seen it before. it's old!

[LibertyThePK]

why does everyone treat depression like it's a fucking condition or an ilness.. it's an emotion and something that everyone experiences.. People shouldn't be treated like a patient for it lmao.. Makes matters worst.

[laggeplutten]

@LibertyThePK theres a difference between being sad for a while or having a depression, depression is considered an illness and really should be aswell. its really frustrating and breaks u down to go around feeling bad, and a lot of times the person doesnt even know what makes them feel like they do. there are also different levels of depression, and im pretty sure u know that some people get to that point where they actually take their own lives. u SHOULD pay more attention to depressed people.

[LibertyThePK]

@laggeplutten everyone is depressed at some stage in their life.. it is normal and is treated like a disease when it most definantly is not.. It make's the situation even worst when they think there is something wrong with them and they have an "illness". It is important that people get help through depression but it is definantly NOT an illness.. And yes there is a difference between being sad and depression.

[IAzvionI]

@LibertyThePK a huge fuckin diff between the two... experience them both then talk

[LibertyThePK]

@IAzvionI no shit? isn't that exactly what I just explained? Facepalm ... Children .. -.-

you should have to verify your age is over 16 or something to leave a comment on a youtube video to be honest. Get rid of all the retards >.>

[iwreckthefun]

@LibertyThePK What about all the "retards" over 16?

[TwinkieOfRage]

Im not gonna say I've experienced the same but I've experienced similar and it sucks. It really does. But I still suffer a bit from my depression. But I'm much more positive in life now. I'm glad you made this commentary Apostle. We all love you.

[RGxBlaze]

were you talking bout predator when you were talking about your best friend?

[Jdee718]

I swear, your story is the exact same as my life. All this bullcrap that happens in some people's lives, makes people feel depressed and want to escape... My escape is gaming, and always will be. It's the only thing where I feel I'm good enough. Some people say it's unhealthy or terrible to play too much, but when you feel as though your depression has lifted JUST a little bit, you can't stop. It's literally the only thing that brings me joy. Keep it up Apostle.

[InsanioVII]

@Jdee718 Well said man<3

[Justin661199]

@Jdee718 i feel with you

same at me

[XzBlaqkEpiczX]

@Jdee718 2 true bro 2 true we all have the same girl problems

[XEDV]

@Jdee718 Wow i fukin agree :(

[ABelugaWhale]

@Jdee718 I'm nearly the same way except i turn to hockey and sports in general, not just video games

[UzimakiKid]

if no girl loves you in person, you have thousands of subs who love you apostle :]

we might not all comment, we might not all take the time to rate your videos, but just being human we gotta connect to you, you're an awesome guy, and opening up to people is really hard.

I'm sure you've inspired hundreds of people to start trying to take more action in their lives to improve themselves.

never give up being you apostle, you're awesome :]

[LilVBoytL]

apostle's montage of getting to know himself. keep it real yo. was kool. definately great commentary. not something other's would do. keep it up you know youtubes always there...and porn.

[OpTicvReaPzZ]

ha um how do we verse optic like this

[RoHawK21]

@Appstleog great commentary, you really have to have the guts to let that out on YouTube, by the way sorry to hear about that depression you went through and what happened to the girl you really liked, your tough but don't worry, you will get over it sometime, don't let it get you down too much, just keep your self confidence high

[MrWhiteZtar]

Apostle, you are my hero, no need to get depressed;)

We love those video's!!!

[redmoonshade]

Wow, amazing. You really do realize who your true friends are when you go through something like that.

[Z1Alpha]

“I'm a pessimist because of intelligence, but an optimist because of will." I live by that really... It makes sense (If you do and dont think about it) I kinda had (have) the same problem (im 15) My sister is the total opposite of me. Im not cool, but neither am I a loser... Im in the middle I hate being around my sister (we are twins) I realised when I was 12 that not caring what others had was for the better of myself, but then I didnt know what I wanted... So I am here not knowing what to do

[HaCkEdNaT1On8]

that was such a epic commentary:)

[Furbiilicious]

holy shit thats fuckin deja vu man.....

[junghohwang89]

countless fish in the sea

[adanisb]

Confidence my friend.. happened to me then.. confidence got boosted.. you'll be aight

[1953605]

Dude I know what you mean the same thing happen to me she also chose my best friend it's rough man

[xXAC3xApostleXx]

Your girl statement basically discrbes me, except ik for a fact no girl has evr liked me

[ZombieEater1001]

u look like a good guy i hope u get better and get a girl

[xZeMDafuzeV3]

Are you still friends with that guy who got the girl you like?

[xXAC3xApostleXx]

Is your best friend predator?

[AcoGxProductionz]

And lol @ Jewel at 8:23

[AcoGxProductionz]

Yeah.. what you said basically describes me. It sucks. But I'm glad to know someone else dealt with it too..

[Dani3l1990]

i have severe depression, have done for the past 4 years. But i've had a lot of unfortunate shit happen to me. Some days i wake up and i cant function, I just wanna stay in bed because I cant face the world. Then other times nothing bothers me i dont care about anything. I'm constantly up and down. Tbh i never talk to anyone about it anymore because no one understands at all. People are narrow minded and clueless.

[ScopesOfJustice]

There's a chick waiting for ya bro, just give it time!

[25rhombus]

your vids are really easy to relate to

[ThErApYizTrIcKsHoT]

i feel ya bro, props for talking about it

[andyroflzz]

DONT THUMB UP @CHEESEBERGAR 'S COMMENT ANYMORE. IT IS PERFECT HOW IT IS (69)

[CYO67209]

This is why I love ur channnel

[MilanDaSupasta]

Best commentary yet. i like the crappy gameplay it got me to focus on what you were saying instead of just watching another everyday call of duty video.

[ZachsHappyTimes]

:o poor apostle ;(

[alexwoffle2]

@ZachsHappyTimes When people say stuff like this, it is only patronizing and degrading.

[jakemx4]

Hey i know how you feel there was a girl that i liked i alomost was dating were like we were walking around school together and then one day i see she started to post winking faces on the most popular guy in my schools profile and other flirting comments ya i felt like shirt for alomost a month and now its hard to me to out girls cuz of that so hopefully you read this and i subed the second i heard you start talking about that topic

[oPolyqon]

OfficialXcel fancy meeting u here :)

[MrEscapistHD]

Respect bro.

[SnuhffSnuhff]

the same shit just happened to me yesterday..

[TheHotShots123]

mad props bro same thing is kinda happening with me right now.

[OfficialXceL]

props bro! takes nuts! GB Live streams tonight !? :D

[ReallyLargeBeans]

Respect.

[rawrplex]

This video took some major balls to make, I've had the same issues for a while now and I am working on making myself happy. It feels great to hear that I'm not alone out there. Props!

[kyleowen744]

Fuck Bitches Get Money!!!

[chrisdude1000]

Hey Apostle you should have realised your better off. You don't want a relationship at your age =P You'll get bored with the same person, like i did.

[OhDamFitAndReady]

It takes a lot of balls to make a video like this. Mad respect, cause all this depression stuff is happening to me too.

[iiChaibZz]

bitches will be bitches...all u gotta do is scrath them off like itches ;P

[iTzViiBeZ]

AHH CheesBurger u GAY

[slaya031]

damn man that happend to me also like a couple of years ago but i was like u know what screw her im moving on i cant have something stupid put me down so yeah man,there's plenty of girls in this world may-b one is waiting 4 u in college ;)

[yugimor1]

Damn apostle, thats exactly what was happening to me and still happening to me now, keep preaching man

[AliDegnanMatee]

on & off depression is just a constant battle in my life too. just know if nothing else, we feel you man :/ <3

[marcin543210]

Well the girl dident care how one of u felt about her goig out with him or u she dident care that if she goes out with him u mujt get depressed so in my words she was a bitch and the same shit happen to me so ik how u feel

[AMF246]

i totally feel for you man almost same thing happened to me. I was best friends with this girl and we both liked each other and i was just waiting for the right time to ask her out and in come one of my good friends, and completely behind my back stole her from me. it was pretty fuckin rough on me. but fortunately me and the girl both realized after a while that it would be much better that we be there for each other always and stayed friends

[bonzo1852]

everybody had these problems i dont know how old r u but u will pass the bad period like I and alot of people did is hard i know but just be positive dont pay attention to the others just think about u who cares about the others right? ur the man =D

[ignitus1470]

u just described my life in this video!

[Voydes]

OK im not dissing the video at all grat video apostle keep it up but i dont understand everybody leaves a comment saying that they know wat its like when rlly all that probly happened is they got turned down once thats not deppression sorry

[SgtC0bra]

is ur best friend predator

[DEMONTH31F]

Apostle <3

[TheCoalRegionKid]

Think we've all been there, bro. Keep you head up.

[TheCovertClan]

did predator get the short girls...??? lol

[greenstrategist]

@TheCovertClan no girls*

[soundafekz]

Im exactly the same.

[19Keviinnnnnn95]

Love you for being so open <3 i really do feel for you

[mixmasternut]

I completely relate to everything you said in this commentary

[ubee12]

why was he depressed?



[19Keviinnnnnn95]

this happened to me about 2 years ago just keep your chin up mate <3

[xl9Liveslx]

Apsotle is the man no question.

[tabletennis4]

hey man, i know wot u mean, i've liked 1 girl for ages and i cant do shit to make her like me, my mates make fun of me cus i cant "pull a chick" so rite now my confidence doesnt even exist

[13igBird]

man i had the same thing with the best friend and a girl, except me and the girl were best friends and she chose my other friend. fucking rough.

[TheFamousEdd]

Apostle how do u get into optic, i wanna Tryout...

[TheCovertClan]

@TheFamousEdd you get recruited u dont tryout

[IVGblondii]

Inspiring.

[uzatowl]

I feel you, im going through the exact same thing right now with my friend, im not sure what to do :L i need some advice

[ImTheAsianLad]

i feel for you man

[nower3008]

i was depressed for awhile too cuz of almost the same thing with your best friend except it was my cousin and we both liked this girl and she liked both of us and she chose him, it's unbelievable how much impact a girl can have on a guy... nice comm btw

[AcTofPromise]

i know how you feel man its gonna be okay(:

[VideosNBallance]

We only want what we don't have so it's natural for this to happen but you have to get over it good job. I look up to you for putting this up this couldve got a lot of hate. And what's not to be proud of your OpTic Apostle. I wish I was an OpTic lol.

[SweeTzKandyShopz]

140-0 L/D Ratio. LoL. Nice

[forshizzall]

i wanna reach through the computer and hug you :(

[FijianGaming]

Best commentary!

[Tonyg84]

Takes balls to put this stuff out there man. Keep your head up man seems you have a lot going for you and I'm sure the self confidence issue will pass. Great vids I appreciate the level you get to in your vids. Keep it up and keep pushing forward.

[beggsy1231]

carpe diem means seize the day trout91 uses it live life to the fullest and forget about depression , man u have good things going for u count urself lucky

[PurpleJs]

0 dislikes ;D

[MoaRHD]

its cool how u can just open up :D

[iHigggy]

Hey Apostle..... ( . Y . )

[SainTxNaTion]

Love ur vid dude, i have a great idea for u, msg me for details, ull love it!!

[LyTeSpeedHD]

Hey Apostle, how about you rate the video and leave a comment? (lol)

[Apostleog]

@LyTeSpeedHD i was first!

[LyTeSpeedHD]

@Apostleog and i was 109th! :)