Christmas Special Day 12: BATTLE OF THE CRACKERS!

[jcrowley1985]

If it wasn't for Runescape, us Americans would not even know what crackers are.

[alienscardox5]

poundland cracker is turning into army refrences

[KAZZERmynickname]

I remember this Christmas we got some crackers that had silver things in like my grandad pulled a cracker an a silver cigarette holder came out not that good as he first smoke but it was better than a mutant Fish.

[greyhoundgill]

this video, look at the time its 9:11 OMFG

[aarontdm]

that is one nasty couch.

[UnboxingX]

Put on Audio transctibe

[23tinkerbell101014]

I want the mutant fish thing!!!

[MsRocketman123]

2:19-2:24 i laughed my ass off

[ZILOGz80VIDEOS]

I remember getting some really good crackers from Costco, some of them came with screw driver sets, and pens, magnets, and tape measures, that kind of stuff.

[Tabby266]

LOL the machine gun's tripod is attatched to the magazine.

That will work out well!

[somerandomchick186]

"An excellent piece of crap"-chef excellence

[INEEDNAWZZZ]

I don't know why, but I always laugh when he says "It was merely a humorous, festive jape."

[nobody123456789ify]

thumbs up if you saw thw calendar in 2:20

[CannyTails]

The video length is 9:11.

Coincidence much?

[austins830]

@CannyTails CONSPIRACY! BUSH! OSAMA! THE NAMES ARE TOO SIMILAR!

[misssaraheppy2011]

ur too joke loll

[Darkromani]

I have seen them before. but the thing is they're very hard to find in america

[nobody123456789ify]

what?! no condoms inside!!!!?????

[Katskradle931]

I've always found it odd that they don't have crackers in America. We have them in Canada and we're just next door!

[nobody123456789ify]

POUNDLAND WINS!!! mwahahahaahaaahaaah

[metakight4]

ill try the hat on....... it is ripped lol that aways gets me

[cjpoop]

lol 1:29 - 1:36 with closed captions and 2:45 closed captions :P

[cjpoop]

lol 1:29 - 1:36 with closed captions :P

[veilx]

Yeah.... dakadakadaka.

[MajinWamu]

haha you said its Christmas day when you uploaded this on Christmas eve hehe

[BlueBurryPimp]

When I saw the crackers again I got so excited after the last cracker one I jizzed in my pants and did the laundry of shame.

[TheMRM262]

This just in: A secret Nazi U-boat was found with Christmas Crackers in the storage hold. These crackers are now being sold at Tesco.

[pineappleryan96]

keep up the good work!

[captmcmuffin25]

That fish thing looks like a chestburster from AVP

[darkwolfgirl]

I want a cracker for Christmas this year. Even if they're lame, I still think it'd be fun.

[gr8fzy1]

Thumbs up if you thought this was going to be a battle between animal crackers and Keebler Elves.

[ziggieice]

you just ripped 1bill gp

[Andreask93]

7:57 my good sir, I believe that's a browning m1919. And to answer your question, No I don not in fact have a life.

[ThatBum42]

You know, those paper crowns are the most expensive items on RuneScape (partyhats).

[beatdash102]

6:17 its holdin an AK~47

[Muserschmitt]

2:20 Creepy.

[kjw41309]

I have a translucent spinning top like that one, same color even! I don't remember where I got mine.

[kjw41309]

I have a flippy frog, I got it as a prize in an easter egg last year!

[rudorot65]

hey ashens which episode did you play that game loader cause i found out its a rip off of the original mario bros. game and watch game thats why it feels like an old game and watch game to you

[grimpwnsu]

thumbs up if you wanted ashens to take all the crackers and pull them all

[worldofwarcraft600]

11 people bought the tesco crackers

[RadioOperator01]

lol I thought 6:24 was an angel with a flamethrower XD and then he said yukalili and I'm like "....oh...common mistake" xD

[ChristianU2ubeh]

You got purple and red phats. You can sell them for ludacris prices on RS.

[spiritofthestaircase]

where is psychic fish?

[ZombiesAreSuchNoobs]

the only thing cheaper than the crackers, are your santa's cleaning gloves.

[wagbo121]

do do dew dew!

[DRIFTZXENDO]

there is no 9:10 WTF

[No1HayleyWilliamsFan]

@DRIFTZXENDO OH NO, HOW WILL WE GO ON!?

[legionthantos]

Oh fuck.

Aliens are real!

[aapkop123]

I like how Doctor who used the excact same crackers in the christmas special.

[Baks9]

I once went to a zoo where a monkey was chewing a kids rubber triceratops (the stretchy kind) and I knew monkeys shouldn't eat those... so long story short, I played tug-of-war with the monkey before inevitably losing and pinging the triceratops back at the monkeys face. not even joking.

[WhatchThisHD]

Ashens may be dead :(

[Thestupidlittlegirl]

awww I wish we had crackers in the states. I want that mustache and triceratops. I have a weird thing for cheapish plastic figurines and such and I'm almost 21!

[nunvikingsofthesea]

battle of the crackers? like battle of the white people=cracker? lol

[mastermaximus11]

5:52 It looks like a mushroom in a little house. Or then it's penis...

[firekid654]

@mastermaximus11 LMAO!!!!!!!

[NObama28]

That's a Browning M2, not an M60 btw

[MegaCyberwolf]

Everyone Type "Won" Before youtube.com

[rock4life119]

@MegaCyberwolf I just did and nothing happened

[ultrasparrow]

What are crackers???

[irulethe70s]

 HITLER STACHE

[impvr1]

2:30 red partyhat omg ur rich

[haloplayer576]

@impvr1 runescape? o_0

[ChristianU2ubeh]

@impvr1 that lucky butthole

[Crabpeopleseb]

Erm i think thats a browning 50 cal, not an m60 :/

[EpicnessInABox]

That was the coolest triceratops ever.

[OPTICNATIONSUCKS]

"Yeah, It appears to be some kinda mutant thing..."

[MonsieurHeadcrab]

The tesco ones look like sausages.

[dp1542z]

10 people are from tesco lol

[AlmightyCerberus]

i got a yo yo in my cracker.

[nunvikingsofthesea]

Crackers, You mean like white people?? LOL JK

[AzikuFilmz]

...thoes crackers are like happy meals.

[Drwhofanindatardis]

@AzikuFilmz "An excellent simile"

[XxXRoxygrLXxX]

Lol

[DOOMLORDDRADIUS]

how much junk gets lost inside your chouch

[thetickleninjas]

If you say its Christmas day, why does youtube say it was uploaded on christmas eve?

[EntertainmentTrends]

@thetickleninjas

Might've been the time zone differences.

[thetickleninjas]

@EntertainmentTrends oh i didnt think of that lol

[Arc9er]

@thetickleninjas

Timezones i bet

[thetickleninjas]

@Arc9er yeah your right

[MRKnowitallaboutRFOM]

I thought the cherub had a machine gun

[khatholic]

That's a browning m1919, dr ashens.

But you said DAKKA DAKKA so it's all right.

[rokyn2000]

I seriously love your humor lol, keep it up ;)

[TheDraconwraith]

its paleontology Ashens, PALEONTOLOGY!!!

[SataNickBassist]

10 people hate christmas

[Arc9er]

THAT FISH LOOKS LIKE A SODOMIZED FETUS. BLUURURRRGH

[salsathe4th]

those arent american crackers :( (the food)

[MrGangey]

"Collect the whole set, and lose your friends."

CLASSIC

[helldogas2]

When I read "battle of the crackers" I was expecting 2 white druggies brawling.

[Shutsuji007]

@helldogas2 I was flipping a butterfly knife when I read this comment, and it flew out of my hand because I was laughing so hard. I thought the exact same thing.

[trev0115]

Good conclusion! :D

[LikaLaruku]

Yes yes, cheap useless prizes. Suddenly the name "Cracker Jack" all makes sence now, but at least it gives you caramel corn.

[farhatadam]

TESCO!

[WillP999]

6:00 I bet he said "...and not a penis in a box", but had to cut it.

[254kenneth]

oooohhh

i remember mr bean again

XDDD

[crescentrolls90]

I have cat whiskers that clip onto your nose. Those hurt like hell!

[matafuko]

I got a comb in a cracker once that was also a ruler and a stencil for various shapes...

[grunthunter44]

@matafuko i got nail clippers once

[Adilshit]

9/11

[kenizzyny]

@MyGuitarSP it's because the jews did 9/11

[ManUtd2k8autum]

@MyGuitarSP no, i didn't. look how much of my night i've just wasted. :'(

[bittmunch]

@MyGuitarSP I do you say that everytime it turns 9:11am or pm?

[MyGuitarSP]

@bittmunch sometimes. xD

[alexstewartmovies]

@MyGuitarSP who cares, its not the number that matters

[misterlaufeyson]

@MyGuitarSP POUNDLAND DID 9/11

[evildwarf]

@MyGuitarSP Poundland is a front for Al-Qaeda!

[Freakywwe]

@MyGuitarSP But 9:10 is missing so it doesn't count

[pacloser97]

@MyGuitarSP i forgot

[paclac1337]

@MyGuitarSP

Omg! Its the Ashens conspiracy!

[labratbum]

@MyGuitarSP So what?

[Qakko]

@labratbum Someone's not American...

[FieraDevilWings]

@Qakko - And that story was all over the news, how could they not know?

[Lioyd1rving]

@Qakko 9/11, we get it. Thousands of innocents dying! HILARIOUS!

[TomzSikVidz]

@Lioyd1rving quiet u fuckin nazi boy

[Lioyd1rving]

@TomzSikVidz Oh how edgy and offensive you are. Am I treading on your God-given rights to be a spiteful, abusive dickhead?

[angelpichu1]

@MyGuitarSP that's okay, at my school our first hour class ends at 9:11 XD

[rock4life119]

@MyGuitarSP I don't get it

[MyGuitarSP]

@rock4life119 9:11.. 9/11.. get it?! lol.

[firekid654]

@rock4life119 look at your name its

119 and he said

911

[RonTheRectum]

@MyGuitarSP That's because Nosy Bonk directed it.

[GameSoundtrax]

Am I missing something? False MousTOSH??????

[typomk2]

not nazi germany but communist russia, because they are red. = )

[lorddavid3dxw]

Maybe they thought if they gave the angel a ukelele then it would turn out nice again?

[bleachgirlsenna]

we bought crackers from TESCO for £3 and we got the same crappy toys

[iucidium1982]

That 'fish' looked like that tequila worm from poltergeist 2.

[StefanPetrucci]

What happened with the artwork contest?

[buttybabyliseuse]

Battle of the crackers! xD

[WhiiteyxD]

LOL look at how long the video is

[mrapter7]

wtf is a cracker? never heard of this in the USA. WHERES THE iPOD?

[TheDabeavis]

@mrapter7 They are these paper tubes you pull apart and theres a snap that pops as the contents fall out, usually inside are a crappy little toy like a false moustache, a crappy paper hat, and a joke

[ROY0666]

x-mas crackers.....man, european people mas get bored to tears. constantly.

[TheCIScommander]

in my crackers, I got headphones, a picture frame and a few other things

[yeahshutupbrett]

I think the false fingernail is actually a guitar finger pick!

[TheBio4]

At least you can use the plastic top as a totem.

[TheBio4]

At least you can use the plastic top asa totem.

[prosandcons]

I actually had the Poundland ones this year...

[DunSlapMeh]

Somehow it looked more like little deformed angel with a flame thrower at first. Could be just me.

[NotSoTipical]

Just me or did you get more prizes than you should have in the Tesco crackers?

[Ayak1501]

lol the candle didnt look like a candle XD

[PWhiteproductions]

Aww I want the plastic mustache :D

[olionthebox]

Step 1: Cut hole in box

Step 2: Put dick in box

Step 3: OH GOD! IT'S NOT A CANDLE. DON'T LIGHT IT! AARGH

[drfreezepop]

1:20 XD

[Vkmies]

That fish at the end looks a lot like the man-fishes from Monty Pythons Meaning of Life.

[skatersirian]

"It was merely a humorous festive jape." I don't know why that line was so funny. XD

[Swiftninja14]

The way he says mustache sounds badass.

[Garrickss]

0:01



[Stickstar]

That looks like a fish monkey.

[xXJacobBuckXx]

I think the only value here is the cracker itself.

[PeridotDaggr]

5:55 Phallic object?

[ArtDamage911]

Dakka... dakka.. dakka...

[TriumphantLoser]

Red squishy seahorse! Lovechu. :3

[MrLegodude1234567890]

on the 12th day of christmas ashensgave to meeee

a bunch o' shite no one care 'bout

[TheGenuineOne360]

Whats the point in crackers if they dont put anything decent in them!.

[spoot1smeg]

I want the triceritops

[topdod]

I got a pair of rubbish headphones from the crackers we had.

Also had a deck of small playing cards, a metal puzzle thing and a key chain I think

[xanthochordal]

I AM WEARING THAT FALSE MUSTACHE RIGHT NOW

[soulshui]

is that a fish or a fetus?

[echtergangsta2]

@soulshui i also thought it was a fetus

[12enter12]

thats why i buy the luxuary crackers from bhs.

[oliviliv]

My sister played with my dad for a whole 10 minutes with tescos spin top, they were amazed, I got the fake nail thing :S

[LukeartsTube]

the tesco finest crackers have the same jokes as the value ones, and i got the same one as you :D

[kaitEdee]

if the top spins, you know you're in a dream

[GraffitiMasta101]

@kaitEdee good movie

[MrHippymoose]

I got a selection of measuring spoons in my cracker, it made my christmas!

[TehLonelyGamer]

Do-do-do do!

[NeonboiiZ]

I never knew you could get "Totems" in a cracker...

[harmsey16]

it was uploaded on christmas eve

@harmsey16 Well he's not gonna upload it on christmas.