Marriage and Divorce

[drsbrettsavage]

Why is it that MEN are shown as the perpetrators and women as their victims. It was my former wife who was the adulterer, deceiver and ultimately the murderer of the unborn child conceived from her adulterous relationships. It was she who divorced me and destroyed our family. I'm really tired of seeing men exclusively portrayed as the "cause." No doubt men are often guilty but would it be so wrong to portray woman as some time perpetrators rather than at all times, as innocent victims? Dr. S.

[3eankiko]

My wife and I are in the process of getting a divorce. This is the last thing I want for now, but it seems that she is really going for it. She hates the life of not being able to go out with friends to drink a little wine or spend time with her so called friends and stay late at night. We have 3 children ages 12-20. The most I'm worried about is my 12 year old girl. I don't know how she's taking it, but I'm trying to make it as gentle & easy for her. This is a mountain that I have to climb.

[nikcaple10]

@redchubs hi! have you read the book of mormon ever? i was young and was learning a lot about religion too.. if you have any questions about the lds church feel free to ask me!

[RedlineLV]

getting a divorce is horrible. please i ask you if you are going through it go to christ. he is there. he loves you and wants to help you. HE LOVES YOU. I AM SORRY.

[SHAKOORK]

@redchubs Mormans ARE christians!!!

[MrAdamHayden]

I am currently going through a divorce in which I was an abusive and controlling husband. I had many affairs and even manipulated my wife and I to have relations with other women together. We have two beautiful boys between us. This message has really touched my heart and my soul.

I wished that I would have been more mindful of the hurt and pain that I put myself, my children and my wife through, but alas it is too late. I pray that no one should go through a divorce.

[s958570]

God Gave Me A Beautiful Girlfriend & Daughter At 21 Years Old. The Blessing Was Hidden To Me By My Hardened Heart & My Blinded Mind. I Recently Lost This Girl, Who So Lovingly Lasted Through The Pain & Tears Caused By My Immaturity & Iniquities. Finding God After So Long Now, I Now Understand & Realize What Blessing I Have Lost. I Am Now In My Process Of Repentance, And Will Prove To God That Ill Be The Man He Wants Me To Be For My "Wife" And Daughter, For One Day To Reunite & Never Fail Again.

[schnucklefutz]

For those wondering, yes a temple divorce(sealing cancelation) does have to go through the first presidency. Long story short, I was excommunicated and am going through this process currently. I can also say that I am proof that all can be forgiven, it just takes time.

[ktai13]

I love my wife with my whole heart. I don't want the divorce. All I can do is pray and hope that maybe some day we can be back together. The pain I feel is unbearable.

[elvis4aaron]

There is nothing more painful in the world (in my opinion) then having your spouse leave you. Nothing. My spouse is my best friend in the world. She left me over a huge misunderstanding that has caused intense amounts of pain for her, myself and our children. I love her more than anything but at this point it's in Heavenly Father's hands. You can't force someone to be with you. You can only pray for a change of heart or in some cases a miracle. I feel for those going through similar situations.

[814mandapanda]

This is AMAZING thank you Elder Oaks, this makes me so happy to see and just gives me a warm feeling :)

[tessymerino]

My divorese was for the best for my family the kids are Bette away from the father special when is abuse

[leanneattack]

I recently started to wonder what affect would divorce have on a family that has been sealed in the temple could someone please tell me if they know?

[alicehaslonghair]

@leanneattack My parents were sealed and have been divorced for the last 11 or so years. Getting a temple divorce is very difficult because marriage covenants are very sacred and God will not be mocked. They have to go through the General Authorities of the Church (maybe even the 1st Presidency? I'm not entirely sure) for the couple to not be sealed anymore; probably the only way for a couple to be able to be 'unsealed' is for one/both (but generally just one) to break their marriage covenant.

[asksaxxon21]

@leanneattack well the best that i have heard is if we are striving to do our best we will be happy. idk what that means sealed to family members or what but i know he wont let us be sitting ducks =)

[asianpersuasion500]

@leanneattack the seal between husband and wife is broken, but the seal between parents and children is kept. either person can be sealed again in the temple.

[VintageBalderdash]

This guy has it wrong. "My heart goes out to the divorced, because their partners wronged them." You can have a divorce without wronging someone. It's possible things just don't work out. There are times where NO ONE is at fault. People change, for the better, for the worse, even neutral change.

Also he contradicts himself. "When a marriage is dead, you need to let go. If you're considering divorce, you're just not trying hard enough."

[kennachristensen]

@VintageBalderdash that's not what he said. if a marriage is dead for reasons you need to get divorced - you need to let go.

[jjohansen86]

@VintageBalderdash Not one of your "quotes" is actually a quote from the video. Your last phrase especially is not only not a quote, but a gross distortion of what he says. Your statement attacks a position other than that which Elder Oaks here asserts. Furthermore, the "no-fault" divorce is a myth. Even as people change, marriage is about growing together, serving one another, and love, not simply about compatibility. Always there is at least selfishness on the part of one or both partners.

[love1another777]

Anyone having difficulties in marriage should watch the movie Fireproof.

A huge contributing factor to the alarming divorce rate is the lack of commitment by one or both. One person with humility and the Lords help can make a difference and save a marriage.

[mwood562]

@chipmunk2007

Hang in there, stay strong. Grow a better relationship with the Lord. He loves you, theres no challenge he sets before you, that he knows you cant accomoplish :)

[rm641]

@mwood562 . I need to hear that

[rickrusselljr]

The problem with marriage is that government is too deeply involved and it takes the heart out of it. Marriage should be a spiritual journey between two people based on faith, not a joint filing 1040a IRS form

[jsabadojr]

Apostle Dallin H. Oaks is one of our greatest Apostle in this generation.

[mitsupitsu44]

@jsabadojr i agree,he is a great apostle, and so is elder Holland,i just love to hear from the 2 of them( and the other 10 apostles and the first presidency)

[Sariah1992]

Wonderful, Inspiring, Lovely.

[Chipmunk2007]

So Im going through this right now and know everything he said is true hurts. I feel sad lucky no kidz but feeling alone every hurts soo much specially since im married and thing is if it would just be me kneeling I dont know what to do and i wanna break down but i wanna be strong and push this aside

[pauloceos]

Eu sou casado há 09 anos, e sei o quanto temos lutado para manter o casamento. Deus esta no comando eu não quero nunca me divorciar. Estes homens são chamados por Deus...

[glasscitadel12]

thanks for the words of wisdom.

[Steedlaw]

God bless those who are going through the pains and sufferings of divorce. May God be with you and may you be able to feel God's love for you as his literal son or daughter.

[jalandva]

I am currently going to medical, and have recently found out that my wife has been cheating on me. I have never felt such pain. However I do know that I tried everything I could to try to save my marriage. I never wanted a divorce, and still too this day would wish we could of worked things out. Unfortunately when only one person is willing, the outcome can only be divorce. My poor little girl that has to go through this also. I wish my soon to be X would have seen this video.

[TheActualLiz]

My parents divorced shortly before my baptism. My prayers are with those children who are in similar situations for whatever reason.

For me forgiving my parents created a level of peace that I can't describe. No matter what happened remember that Christ practiced forgiveness even at the point of death. Loving kindness can heal even the most painful emotional injuries.

[gwenmangelson]

AMEN!

[apiary1]

A good marriage takes 2 people to want it . Healing can be the most beautiful part of a marriage. However, if only 1 partner is working on it, it will fail. May you all who are "that one" find your peace in the atonement and call upon divine intervention for guidance in your particular situation.

[jow781]

The remedy is compassion & understanding. Repentance may be a key, but it doesn't work if one is continuously thinking "it's my spouse who needs to repent". "My spouse doesn't go to church or studies enough" etc.

People need to try and understand and have compassion for eachother, there would be a whole lot of problems solved if people would try to figure out the root of the problem and build an answere based on listening, compassion, understanding, etc. instead of " 'I' go through so much"

[Owlcityfan99]

I don't understand why people do the things they do. Divorce does not need to happen. Love should take over and the husband and wife should remember that they dedicated themselves to be eternal in the temple.

[jlouisehall]

I am 20 years old and recently divorced. I have never seen this talk before but it has given me great comfort. I know the Lord is there for me during this time of great pain.

[bornblond9gb]

I was divorced years back when my husband walked out on me and my two small children at the time.I will say the loss was devastating but you do heal from the loss of the spouse.What i found to be the part i am still not over is the fact that when my ex divorced me he divorced the kids as well..they loss their father never to be heard from again till 20+ years later on Facebook wanting to chat with our children this was a knife in the gut to me since he has not contributed one dime for them.

[sauntersil]

He started speaking, and the world seemed alright.

[lanealkarate]

I love my wife with all my heart but she betrayed my trust by cheating on me I have only been married ten months and she still kept things from me I gave Everything as well.. I am healing now I forgive my wife and I hope she forgives me for anything I have done in my marriage.. I am sadden to say I Feel alone. I need the power of the Atonement in my life more than ever.. My marriage was so hard on me, I miss my wife Dearly, I cant do anything about it now

[RTTK9]

excellent advice to those struggling w/ the decision of divorce.

[TheRealDeal425]

I have been married for 7 years. I am now going through the hardest situation in my life. The love of my life cheated on me twice and does not want to seek counsel from leaders of our church. I tried with all my all heart to fix the marriage but finally realized that it is her free agency to do what she wants. So today I prepare to move on in life and sign the divorce papers. I know that the lord will help me in this time of pain . God bless you all that have been through this situation.

[CougarKeith]

I have been married 4 times with an annulment to add to that. I can testify to you that this message is TRUE! That should I, and/or my spouses gotten rid of selfishness, either monetarily or physically, and put our relationship and one another firstly, I would have never divorced in the first place. There are innocent victims in divorce, sometimes ourselves, children, spouse, and more. However not giving up, and addressing the others concerns together in every case, would have staved divorce!

[JesseKing1981]

i needed to hear this so much..my ex wife put me through more than I can explain. But after hearing his opening part of his talk, it gave me peace that i needed so much...i died the day my ex wife left and destroyed our family, but through God and faith I'm still alive...

[dakilangduca]

love it

[2sneekee]

I know what it feels like to suffer the pains of divorce. I have never suffered anything more painful and devastating then the loss of my wife. Most will not understand, but I loved my wife and still to this day mourn over her loss, much like a death. In spite of my love for her, her agency is something I had no control over. I never imagined that my heart could've been injured so deeply by someone I loved so much! I pray that God will have mercy on me, and bless me with His healing power!

[karenwicke]

The Lord loves you and I know that you'll be blessed due to your obedience.

[TheInsaneJaguar]

Im probably to young to watch this anyway... But it hurt so much when my parents separated...

Please...If any of you young couples are out there...Please....See a councler first before you get married..Just in case...

Ive experienced divorce from my parents...It hurts so bad...

I hope Ill never have to go through that again if I ever get married....

[TheActualLiz]

@TheInsaneJaguar

You are not too young to watch this. I know it hurts when your parents get divorced. Now I am an adult and happily married. My husband also came from a broken home. I think in a way it motivated us both to stay together no matter what. I agree its good to see a councilor (sp?) not only before your marriage but also during your marriage. Talking to your church leaders can also help. My prayers are with you.

[MrMatto38]

its sad to see this generallizing divorce and the sadness it brings

[bornblond9gb]

I so agree with this info after having been divorced years back!

[eastariel]

Sometimes in divorce, bystanders jump in and judge, escalating the conflict, as if divorce is some kind of spectator sport. But the "judgment" for each divorce belongs only to the two people divorcing. Each divorce -- just like each marriage -- is unique, with its own set of challenges and toxins. We are each responsible for maintaining our own health. Divorce is difficult. Wouldn't it be nice if bystanders would offer support instead of condemnation? That is especially helpful to the children.

[best496]

@eastariel its stupid because the only reason they married each other was for kids. i mean the people that get divorced. they cant handle being with each other because they didnt really like each other. my parents marriage was a disaster. they were married for 7 years because they wanted kids but they couldnt handle being with each other so they divorced after fighting a lot over everything. now they hate each other. i was only 3 years old when they divorced

[myway43]

Many years ago, before I was a member of the Church, I was married to a beautiful young Cajun girl. It did not work out. I was not ready, and I was too much into me to do it justice, I was not a good husband to her. Many years later I remarried. I now know how important my marriage is. I have learned so much about marriage since joing the Church. Now I get it. I learned.

[jefferylake62]

Marriage and particularly eternal marriage is not intended to be a disposable relationship. I suggest that you read and see what Jesus says on the subject of divorce and remarriage Matthew 5:32; 19:9 Luke 16:18; Mark 10:12; 3rd Nephi 12:31-32. 

[persianlady55]

I have been divorced 21 yrs .at times it still hurts. where are the good lds men ages 55+ who like full figured sisters who have a lot to offer

[artisimogiah]

@persianlady55 why u get divorce persian lady

[LoveChristrecords]

Amen

[SneakyLoveTricks]

A beautiful message of hope and understanding. While I am not a Mormon, I can testify that looking to divorce as the "First Solution" to ending personal unhappiness will NOT result in satisfaction.

Instead of looking for answers in court, maybe we should try building bridges at home?

"Effective Mate-Attracting Techniques -- See My Profile"

[csifreak191]

I solemnly agree with this message. :) haha

[NavajoJoe66]

Why doesn't he talk about hasty marriages? A lot of divorces are because of people marrying too hastily and not knowing each other very well. It is better to divorce than to live a life in misery. You only get one life.

[Armine09]

c'est dommage les divorces..!

,mais je pense que l'harmonie entre l'homme et la femme était déjà brisé des Adam & Eve, quand Ève a mangé le fruit du bien & mal, des cette moment l'harmonie entre la femme et l'homme était déjà brisé...

[fluffythecat2]

@Armine09

Quand un homme et une femme s'humilier devant le Seigneur, Il leur enseigner ce qu'ils doivent savoir, à vivre en harmonie et d'amour. Ils peuvent apprendre à être heureux, de s'entraider, etc patience, le pardon, le sacrifice, le désintéressement sont les clés. Et l'amour. Bon chance pour tu. Pardon mon francais est pauvre. Merci.

[600girard]

In a marriage, is texting/flirting about meeting at a club the same as cheating/having sex with another?

[ajani1000]

We had a man to come to our church and prophecy to a young man who to marry. He has been married to this lady for 16 yrs, but, from what he's told me, he doesn't love her. Should he stay with this lady or move on. She knows by his actions that his love for her isn't truly there. The reason they stay together is because of their children and because they are Christians....Should they stay together and be miserable or divorce for "PEACE" sake?

[Felipecabesas]

I don't get it why have marriage. Its not good for man because laws favor woman. besides marriage has gone corrupt and is no longer a sacred thing but a legal thing that can take our success away. If you guys get married get prenups left and right to protect yourself when the temptation comes. But why start in the first place?

[kseismoloj]

@Felipecabesas, I have been happily married for almost 5 years. Married life is wonderful! It is nice to come home to the arms of those you love, and who love you. Marriage provides a way for those involved to find ways to serve one another; to support one another in trials and troubles. Marriage provides security. If I were asked, "If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?" I would go home. Don't get a prenup Have faith that you will have a successful marriage, and then work.

[brian8793]

My nephews name is Dallin:)

I LOVE THIS GUY

[indankse]

perfect message..

[kbitznelson]

I appreciate so much having this topic so directly and yet lovingly addressed. I know, first hand, about selfishness and how it masks itself as "taking care of number one" as I was the culprit.

[jastoudt3]

I believe that no person can judge if LDS and non-LDS people are unequally yoked in marriage, or that that marriage is against God's word. I think being unequally yoked is much more about how much each person in the marriage puts into the relationship. Interfaith marriages may face more difficulties than others and may require more effort at communication. Should they divorce? I don't believe so, unless there is abuse, lack of fidelity, or abandonment as discussed in this video. Just my opinion.

[JO3B3L7]

I am grateful for the leaders of this church and their words of inspiration and encouragement.

[OffMyTail]

Great points.

[wisharts6]

perfect !!!!!

[MadameDeces]

"... The Remedy is not Divorce but Repentance" ... as it is in many of the things we do wrong; Thank you for this beautiful Message of Hope!

[superazuremoon]

I love his words.

[lmordro]

To "4nticasp3r": I don't think that a partnership would be unequally yoked by religion. To me equally yoked means each doing the best they can. If one is pulling but the other isn't then the partnership is unequally yoked. Problems will arise with having different religions, but to me that doesn't mean the yoke is unequal. As for your other questions I sent you a YouTube message.

[awchan8907]

It make's it easier for the couple to have the same values .If they love each other and wants whats best for each other they will agree on religion and other issues . Its hard if they don't have the same values , but if they truly care about each other they will work them out .

[got4boyz]

This statement really struck me and has caused me much thought!

"Many of you are innocent victims whose spouses persistently betrayed sacred covenants or abandoned or refused to perform marriage responsibilities for an extended period. Those who have experienced such abuse have first hand knowledge of circumstances worse than divorce. When a marriage is dead and beyond hope of resuscitation it is needful to have a means to end it."

[jkolak]

I have an older church video that says that whatever Jesus touched was healed, and that if He touches your marriage it will be healed. I know that through the power of the atonement you can be healed of whatever damage you have sustained.

[got4boyz]

My husband was very emotionally abusive for most of our 20 years together. Over the years my feelings for him lessened to the point that I could barely tolerate him. After many years of trying to get him to come to counseling he agreed to several months ago and things have improved. However hard as I try and feel that I have forgiven him I do not seem to be able to resurrect the love I once had for him and wonder if because of the years of emotional abuse my marriage is "dead & beyond hope".

[sherrud]

search for the article in the ensign called falling out of love....

[m123tzz]

I feel for you, we could only do so much. I'm sure what you are going thru God understands.

[Sabinh76]

Going thru divorce right and wish that wife reconsider on our divorce.....

[CorbinAllred]

Pray, my friend! You must include the Lord in all that you do. He will bless you upon you putting faith in Him and His power. The Lord however cannot control your wife, though if be His will, he could certainly soften her heart. God's power is infinite, His will WILL be done, just have faith and trust in him. I wish you the best.

[prismacolor28]

The statistics don't reflect upon marriage. The statistics are a testimony to the immaturity and stupidity of most people.

The problem isn't marriage; it's the idiots who are treating marriage like being roommates with benefits.

[iltns22]

@prismacolor28 whew u can say that again

[elevate4eva]

I am 21 years old. I have never been married but I was with my love for 3.5 years. We recently broke up and its been TERRIBLE. Its been 3 months and I still think about her all the time. Its so so painful. It is so hard to believe that +60% of Americans get divorced! I haven't even experienced divorce but I know its harder than my situation, my heart goes out to all those who are in pain. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me your story, I feel the same way. God bless.

[bristerbri]

@elevate4eva

Two months ago I found out that my wife had been cheating on me and it has nearly destroyed me, but in other ways it is healing me. I had been falling away from the church and living a life somewhat sinful, but now I am drawing close to my savior and seeking his guidance. I have been committed to staying and making it work with all my heart, but at times she seems to be confused. The guy she had met and been with has money; something we don't. I just felt impressed to write you.

[MarvinHM]

@elevate4eva and talk to our heavenly Father.

[Lloydjr1]

I'm thankful for the temple and temple marriage, my wife of 43 years, and all other blessings I've received including children. It isn't always easy, but it is worth it, and I look forward to retirement with my eternal companion. I wish I'd not taken 30 of those years to find the gospel.

[SRobacker]

I thought this message was pretty good. A+

I am not a mormon as I believe that in Jesus though he is obviously - physically created - in Mary, he is fully God. So if I pray for help and power and strength, I can know that all the power and authority of God is with him. It is that God is with me because Jesus is with me. God is in him and he in me.

So he has power to help you in this.

I speak as someone that divorced and I have videos about that.

[lostinthesheol]

That couple is too handsome to get divorced.

[nwl213]

I pray that couples does not need to go thro a divorce as it is not a solution to a problem. Selfisness and bad advice often leads to breakdown of a marriage. The pain of a divorce is deep and it scars

[ProPhotoSecrets]

Awesome video! very inspiring...Thankyou

[fluffythecat2]

Marriage and divorce are between 2 spouses and the Lord. And so we can generalize to some extent but each marriage is unique and it is up to the Lord to judge the people involved.

Not other people. Only the Lord has the facts. Sometimes good people just cannot do what needs to be done due to prior abuse, PTSD, etc. We don't know.

It is simply up to us to love the members of our congregation and leave the judging to the Lord or His appointed servants.

Good luck to everyone!

[mormonmamaof4]

very good video

[caffeinemac]

I'm not trying to imply anything, but as an LDS member I would have liked to see the gentleman at the beginning at the video have an opportunity to read his scriptures too.

I'm probably going to get flamed, and I'm not going to respond to such. It's just my 2 cents...

[TyrellTravis]

I noticed that too...funny

[bowlingfan12]

In the Mormons church what are their views on couples who divorce and break the vows of marriage.. I mean I understand your committed to love each other, but you dont what the future holds and staying with each other when your both miserable doesnt seem right.

[boywaimea]

little things can break up a marriage like not wanting to communicate, lack of respect, and not doing things together. above all, if you don't rely on God to help your marriage, it won't work. my wife and i are married. we go through many rough times with each other. i have to pray and ask God for help all the time. but it's worth it. i truly love her and will do anything to make this marriage work. but it's quite challenging.

[jmuirbrook]

divorce happens in the church just like anywhere else, I think this video answered your question already stating that abuse and betrayal is worse than divorce. There are some cases when divorce is the best option.

The idea is to try the find the way to make the marriage work and happy again.

[xenomorph1211]

If the people in the marriage are unable to fix it (or unwilling) then divorce is a last resort. Such examples that divorce would be expeident might include a man being unfaithful to his wife (aka cheating on her); that in itself doesn't always mean you should divorce but only if the man doesn't wish to repent of his wrongdoing or continues to be unfaithful. To sum it up, divorce should be used at last resort, but being confimed in pray by the Holy Ghost.

[TheFiddog]

it should be the last option, but is permited.

[Lloydjr1]

Divorce happens in even in the best of situations. Love from the congregation for both parties is essential and the council of ecclesiastical leaders. Also prayer, forgiveness and a lot of other of Christ's commandments are needed, but it is not ours to judge. It's between them and the Lord.

[dh234]

Its true as soon as you stop being in denial in your head pride just melts into joy, and admitted failure becomes happiness instantly with atonement because honesty is so much easier!

[lcastleton]

Very valuable message!

[jonmahoney04]

Thank you for another great video. :-)

[Luckyjat]

I can't wait till I'm married. I'm going to treat my wife like a queen!

[TheFiddog]

just make sure she will be able to do the same,.. becouse I am sure you will be a good husbend,.. find a good wife who can know how to return!

[mfarkie]

Elder Oaks is one of my favorite apostle. THis is the message I needed to hear tonight.

[UtahMan78]

While there are certainly some marriages that are not fixable I continue to believe in the message of reformation and repentance Elder Oaks discusses. Those of us on the edge of divorce need to do all we can to salvage our marriages. I am speaking from personal experience as one who is on the edge of the dark abyss with eternal consequences we call divorce.

[katzmeow7777777]

I never found the right man 4 times is enough . Its lonely but i will go on alone !

[rmisionero]

Finding the right man come from within. If you strive for faith, integrity, worthiness, sacrifice, dignity, strength, and virtue, youneed not worry about the right man. It isnt enough to be nice; it isnt enough that he is handsome; you have to find a man who shares these qualities with you. You cant quit and say you've tried, when there are lacking qualities in each of us. Strive to be like Christ, search His Kingdom, and whatever blessings that come from it, shall be for your benefit.

[gospelcougar]

This principle is true: "...you will not be denied the blessings of eternal family relationships if you love the Lord, keep His commandments, and just do the best you can."

[Belles1fan]

WHere did you get that quote? My friend really needs it

Thank you

[benjachristensen]

It comes from this video, towards the end.

[dmac10s]

I believe that a STRONG America will be because we have STRONG Marriages and FAMILIES!

[rockmanlinux]

I have been married for 14 yrs. I watched conference the first time when this talked was presented. During this time my wife was cheating on me at the time (2nd time). I am soon to be divorced (2 yrs since) due to wifes mental conditions etc. I love this video. I can only say I'm at peach knowing I gave EVERYTHING to save this marriage. I'm the happiest I've ever been.

[youtah676]

what is that feeling like? The happiest you have ever been ? My wife has been cheating on me and still continues to do it and says that she has never been happy but yet she has had 7 kids in 11 years and was married in the Temple....We decided today that we need to be away from each other...I'm scared but I know I will be happier if I just cut my losses and practice being happy, she too has a mental illness that she wont get checked on...I deserve to be happy !

[boibodoll]

You do deserve to be happy. These decisions are so hard. I am struggling making decisions about my marriage and especially the effect on our children. I have a few good friends who think it might have been more beneficial to have grown up with separated parents than those that stay in a situation worse than divorce. It still doesn't make the decision any easier.

[devol264]

@rockmanlinux im so sorry about that, i mean i am only 16 and i have never been cheated on and my parents have remained loyal and they both have never divorced, but when ever i hear a story like yours of someone who went through a long marriage and then was cheated on and it led to divorce i always get so angry. if you wouldent mind could you share the whole story with me?

[fluffythecat2]

@rockmanlinux

Good luck to you. Been there. My divorce was final February. I'm doing better. Not anxious to date but am the Singles Adult rep so I will be going to the Singles activities now. I study the scriptures a few times a day and THAT makes all the difference.

All the best to you. I am taking this time to recover from the trauma of my past marriage, get to know myself, serve in the temple, etc. Some day I will be ready to be in a good relationship. But not yet.

[lawstudentgirl1]

@rockmanlinux I understand how you feel.

[rockmanlinux]

@rockmanlinux Wow, its been a year. Wasn't the first conference I watched...it was just the first talk I watched on TIVO that year. Thats what I meant. I'm 10000000000 times happier than I've ever been and we do heal. Thanks to Heavenly Father, Jesus, and Elder Oaks. :-)

[mollymu1]

@rockmanlinux That's all you can do . I think your typo actually works . ;)

[SongSwords]

as time passes, and the state of the world is more fully revealed to me, at times it is rather depressing, so i am glad that i can listen to the apostles, and prophets, and take heart that all is not yet lost.

[yvonneloor]

i hope my very good friend and her husband gets a chance to watch this together, i know this is meant for them, they are a great couple. i will always pray for them. : )

[seashmore]

This video reminds me why I love Elder Oaks as much as I do. Thank you.

[mahonrixr]

I hope that my friend of mine has viewed this video. This is the answer of their problem...I pray that they are going to save their marriage no matter what the cost.

[playalistic21]

This is so beautiful it reminds us of our values and the purpose of life.

[jimisixxx]

Some of the best people I have ever met in my life are 'Mormons'. I have also been babtised in the past. I have been out of contact with my good Mormon friends. A Mormon friend is like family and you can trust that person with anything. Thank you for your help and your prayers.

[tylermatthewmarz]

hey! well you might try and get in touch with a ward there and you will certainly find some Mormon friends!

[eeema95]

if you love the lord keep the commandments and do the best you can.

[DefendingMormonism]

The institution of marriage will continue to be attacked even more fiercely as time goes on.

It is up to Latter-day Saints to defend it, live it, and show the world what marriage can and should be like.

If only much of the world realized that a successful marriage is based on a couples' commitment to Christ, not only to each other.

[pogicory1]

This message is a comfort to me. It is wonderful to know that I dont have to be perfect to experience the blessings of eternal marriage. All I have to do is the best I can. That is a burden off of my shoulders.

[MormonsLoveFamilies]

Mormons love happy marriages.

[iamonlyse7en]

What's even better, is that you can now view this video on a BYU campus network.

[loqutor]

I have seen firsthand the horrible effects of divorce. It's a horrible thing, and must only be used as a last resort.

[krimmola]

Lovely. Thanks for sharing.

[SurfAngel1623]

I hope more people start doing whatever they can to make their marriage work and go into marriage more carefully.

[RedNymph234]

This makes me sad...divorce is so horrible...two people vowed to love each other for years and years...then it falls apart...how can you walk away from that? It's so heart breaking...

[canadianbacon007]

Amen

[ytnec]

this is one of my favorite talks

[omiolo]

divorce is not an all purpose solution.

well put

[thirdtalent]

I am so glad that these are now available to share with my friends who are having problems - I hope this helps them.

[CBRushing586]

It is hard to stay mad at someone that you hear pray aloud for you. That is why couple prayer is so important.

[banuelos3114]

Great video I love it....

[myeyepie]

Excellent

[DjBari4300]

Juss love it.

[aManInaKilt]

What a beautiful message. As a Family Lawyer this gives me some food for thought as to what I should be saying to clients and prospective clients. Thanks Elder Oaks.

[mormongal88]

I loved this talk so much!

[erick161616]

i'm not married but good talk to married people